BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 81 - Kuwaiti Mum

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

The boys are remote again! Oh no! They discuss being a jack of all trades, master of none, having no mind's eye (aphantasia), titty vodka, quantum space time and not understanding philosophy. Sketches include the return of Lucky Kentucky and a dramatic southern trial. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

it's budpod 81 81 phil is that anything to you 81 um a kuwaiti mom if your mother is from kuwait this is the episode for you is kuwait a republic i don't know I've lost track with those crazy cats over there. They've been busy. Kuwait? Yeah, there's no royal family of Kuwait, is there? I don't think so. I assume there's some kind of local clan system

that might have a head of each family or whatever, but I don't think there's a royal family. You're so 2000 Kuwait, I'm so 2000 q late who what do you think um what do you think it's like to be a hipster in kuwait it's probably quite similar to being a hipster here right coffee coffee coffee preferences yeah yeah yeah probably less um probably less of the old artisanal beer making yes to be fair although you know there's a fairly uh solid beer consumption in uh turkey and iran even though it's

supposed to be you know illegal oh is that right yeah although i think it is legal in turkey it's just getting more and more illegal because of uh erdogan is a bit of a hardliner but um they all drink non-alcoholic beer they are drinking non-alcoholic beer well they're drinking both and say in turkey but like turkey i remember seeing like on a map like who drinks the most of which beer where like what's the most popular beer where do you get such a map where are you getting these maps internet I waste my time scrolling through

image feeds like ok ok beverage mapsoftheworld.org no no no just random so every now and then it all filters in there okay okay

it's just random images that have been upvoted that people think are interesting is this on imgur or something yeah that kind of thing but I'd never heard of the brand that Turkey apparently loves glugging down so I looked it up but it's

booze free I think I'm with looked it up but it's um what is it booze free we came with an e or something it's not fs where's fs from maybe it was fs i thought fs had alcohol in it yeah but this is like fs blue ah i mean you can get non-alcoholic all the beer but this is a turkish brand and mostly what they sell is the non-alcoholic kind is beer really refreshing if it's not getting you drunk well drunkenness is not very refreshing feeling is it um i've never i've never been like wasted going got him refreshed i i have but only after the first pint. Right, yes, yes, yes. But that has to do with the cold and the bubbly and the liquid. Well, it was more to do with being tired.

I remember it was at the Fringe years and years ago when I was doing like a million things at once at the Edinburgh Fringe, RIP. And I'd just been walking around. I'd been on my feet all day. I'd been running around town. I'd done like I'd just been walking around I've been on my feet all day I've been running around town and then uh it was the first time in my life where I was old enough to drink beer and I was physically tired enough and low enough on like energy that the beer actually tasted like bread like sustenance and food it tasted like food like I was drinking food yeah

like the bready flavor was really strong. And it's only ever been strong when I've drunk beer within maybe an hour of really heavy activity. Right, your body's just drawing out all the sugars. Yeah, like immediately, exactly. And it's brilliant. And you totally get why in the olden times, which is up until even like the 30s, 40s, 50s,

you would get given beer rations as part of your work if you were like a miner or rum ration on the Navy ships, that kind of thing. It totally makes sense. Just liquid calories. Sure, sure. But there's no way rum was refreshing.

Well, it was mixed with water, I think. Ah, a little water chaser. Well, it was mixed with water, I think. Ah, a little water chaser. Well, grog. Grog is like one part rum to three parts water. That's what grog is. Oh, really? Yeah, that's something like that. I don't know what the ratio is, but it's something like that. It's basically just diluted rum. The gruel

of booze, yeah. It's the gruel of booze! Make way for the gruel of booze! Horrible guy with a disgusting... It's the gruel of booze. Make way for the gruel of booze. Horrible guy with a disgusting... It's the gruel of booze. I am the gruel of booze. The gruel of booze sounds

like a foreign aristocratic title. Yes, yes, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the gruel of booze. Ha ha. He's revolting the Gruel of Booze. Yeah.

He's got food dripping down the corner of his lips. He's disgusting. The buttons on his shirt are all done up, but one out of step, if you know what I mean. Yeah, one button is higher. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, and you try to be polite, and he's not polite. He's, I understand that you're the fourth gruel of booze.

And he just goes, what? And he just burps. What? He burps a little bit of sick. It was so nice to do an in-personperson pod last week pierre but already we're back to our remote remote ways just one week after yeah thanks michael gove i'm uh i'm i'm in bath um the listener might be able to tell that i'm in bath the city of bath bathing, not in a tub. I'm in... Although that would be lovely. Tub pod.

We've yet to do our first tub pod, but I'm in The City of Bath, where I was a teenager. That's definitely one for Patreon or OnlyFans. Yes, tub pod. Tub pod. It'll be an ASMR experience. Yes, a splishing, a splish-sploshing part of the ASMR repertoire. Yes, it's splishing, splish-sploshing,

part of the ASMR repertoire. Yeah, little bath noises. Two boys in the bath having a little pod. Two boys in the bath bubbling about, poddling along. I'm in my teenage bedroom

for the years 16 to 18. There's a lot of Batman stuff and Rat Pack stuff. That's what I was into. The Rat Pack and Batman. The Rat Pack and Batman. The Rat and the Bat. That's what I call my interests. If it ain't rats or bats, they're not cool cats.

That's what you used to say. Yeah. Or Kid Rock. Or the Kid. Yeah. Or Kid Rock. Or the kid, yeah. Or the kid. Which is also an animal still. That's true. The rat, the bat and kid.

Yes. What the Rat Pack and Batman have in common is a kind of either 20s, 30s, 50s jazz aesthetic. Interesting, yeah. This 50s jazz aesthetic. Interesting, yes. That's a good observation. Because, yeah, Batman has a lot of that kind of... Oh, what's that architecture style? So is that 1920s and 30s New York?

Oh, like Art Deco kind of. Yes, yes, yes. You'll get a lot of Art Deco vibes from everything involved there. That's right, that's right right would you ever live in a with is that your ideal home an art deco home covered in batman stickers no because it'd be too obvious that i lived there and i'd be i'd be hounded by pod buds yes asking me to get in the bath with them there was some lovely um i did a gig last night in oh yeah in in in a sort of a get it while you can attitude to being allowed to go out

in public after 10 p.m and we'll see that's right yeah we'll see what happens um i went and did a gig it was a the good ship at the colonel faucet in in Camden in London. A lovely old gig. And everyone was great. But there were some pod buds there, and I had a chat to some of them afterwards. Hello. Hello, pod buds. What did you chat about?

How brilliant the podcast is. I don't know. They just said, oh, listeners or whatever. They said what everyone says now, which is, oh, we thought about shouting out, but then you've talked on the podcast about people shouting out. But then, yeah, it's just easier for them to just talk to us afterwards as we're leaving than to go, Kojai! During the show.

Yeah, over the shoulder of a confused Peruvian tourist. Yeah, exactly. A baffled Austrian management consultant. Oh, we might have some new pod buds this week, Pierre, because we got a lovely shout-out on Twitter from a classic Budpod listener, Radio 2 DJ Sarah Cox. That's right.

The queen of radio, Sarah Cox. Thank you to any Radio 2 listeners who are checking in. We are so sorry. Sarah has got this very wrong indeed. We don't do any traffic reports at all. But glad to have you.

You're welcome. I guess you could say this is BBC Radio Poo. That is the worst jingle. I cannot listen to Radio 2 because of that disgusting jingle. BBC Radio 2. I'm being completely serious about this, Peter. I think it's the most revolting melody ever devised by a human mind. Really?

Yeah. BBC Radio 2. It's horrible. I hate it so much. And it doesn't... The BBC is otherwise so tasteful. Everything in the BBC is done with such taste. Yeah.

But this one jingle... It's disgusting. It's like some... It's like a joke regional radio station. It's so horrible. I hate it so, so much. It's so easy to do sarcastically. It sounds so horrible. I hate it so, so much. It's so easy to do sarcastically.

It sounds sarcastic. Maybe that's what it is. BBC Radio 2. Horrible. Yes, exactly. I always, growing up, I always used to get annoyed with Manx Radio, the Isle of man's national radio station was that bbc no no no um the bbc kind of has a little news web page about the isle of man but it doesn't have its because the isle of man is not part of the uk blah blah blah um okay so manx Radio is like probably like the local radio station and in my head forever

is Manx Radio Weather It just starts with Manx like that Manx Radio

Weather it sort of kicks in really suddenly on real Manx Radio Radio is when they really get excited They figure that you already know it's Manx because you're listening

radio the BBC Radio 2 jingle it sounds like you've tricked someone into listening to the radio thinking they're listening to the BBC watching BBC TV BBC and you go tricked someone into listening to the radio thinking they were watching BBC TV. So, BBC and you go,

Radio 2. And they go, no, not the radio. They're horrified. It's too late, yeah. But thank you, Coxers and Coxettes. Yes, Coxicks. Sarah Cox hosts a show that I love called Love in the Country, which is a matchmaking program for farmers.

Oh, yeah, she is the farmer cupid. Yeah, it's great. It's a great show. Hard to find a wife if you're a farmer. There's one great episode about this Welsh farmer dude. He's like late 20s, early 30s, and three ladies from the city come to try and win his heart, but all he wants to do is look after his sheep.

And every day they're like, what are we doing today? He's like, oh, I'm just going to look after the sheep. And they just have to pretend to be happy about it like great and then like he picks a different girl to shear the sheep with and they're like oh angie's sharing the sheep today is she and then just cuts to angie just having the worst time in the world so basically it was three women from the city who think being a farmer is just owning land and dressing nicely in a barber. And sort of going, would you like your own pair of wellies?

But both parties had got this completely wrong. His conclusion at the end of this episode was like, I don't think love's really for me, actually. It just kind of gets in the way of the sheep. Like, that was his genuine conclusion. Amazing. Where he just went, well, if love is not having someone to help me shear the sheep,

then I want no part of it. That's what falling in love is to him. Having to give up the sheep. Yeah. It's an all cost no benefit that's incredible and presumably they were like oh it was very muddy yeah yeah it doesn't look good

it doesn't look good animals are horrible they're gross they're disgusting you can't trust them. They're loud. They misbehave. They don't do what's best for them. They try and get themselves killed.

You have to trick and bully the stupidest things on earth in order to give them medicine. Like little kids times a thousand. Yeah. You have to wrestle with them the way you would wrestle with a human being to kill them in order to save the animal yeah because what the animal wants is to run out into the woods where its teeth will grow through its face and it'll dive eye worms that's all the animal wants desperate to dive eye worms With a tooth going through its fucking head Yeah when that sheep is wriggling in the farmer's arms

It's like please I just want to die of eye worms Get off me No my eye worms please I mean at least cows have a kind of soulful intelligence behind their eyes Sheep are just this horrible Like weird lizard eyeballs. They're just terrifying. They're so weird.

Have you ever been stared down by a bunch of sheep? I don't think so. If you stand at like a field gate, there's just like seven sheep just there looking at you. But they really look at you, Phil. They're just like, just staring. They look through you, yeah. Yeah. And you sort of think, well, what do you want?

Because you're not coming towards the gate as if I'm going to feed you. You don't think I'm the farmer. So what is this scenario in your heads they're just thinking that's a weird sheep that's all they're thinking well they're just thinking grass grass grass grass grass shitting grass fear grass and then every now and then dog and run and then grass dog run grass yeah that's that's the life of the dog run grass i i can't wait till

like mind reading technology progresses it already exists listeners and it's in your head right now. Mind-reading technology progresses to the point where we can find out, A, how human children think before they have language. That would be interesting. And also how animals think. Like if they think like robots, like grass running, fun, good now. Right, right, like a dr doolittle situation yes exactly and uh fellow podcaster richard herring this interested me can't picture things in his mind excuse me he can't picture

things in his mind so there was this article that went around and scared the hell out of a lot of people because it said you know up to some enormous percentage of the population don't have a mind's eye what they just don't have it so he can't he can't imagine images he can't imagine an apple he can't like see one he's made up in his head and rotate it and look at it from different angles. But how does he think about anything? It's all just like concepts or like the word or something. It's just like a feeling in his head.

How do you even come up with jokes or like connect things if you can't make pictures? Well, that's it. He just doesn't think in pictures and there's some name for it where if you don't have a mind's eye. And interestingly, the people at Pixar looked into this because one of the executives at Pixar realized he didn't have a mind's eye.

Like he couldn't remember images or whatever. But how do you make pictures if you can't? What? Well, so he decided when he realized he didn't have a mind's eye to look into his own art stuff. Like, what if they had... Does everyone who draws pictures and makes 3D models for Pixar films have a mind's eye?

Is that what makes them artists? And interestingly, like half of them, or like some enormous amount of them, also didn't have one. Wait, wait, wait. I've just found it, by the way. Aphantasia is what it's called. Aphantasia?

Aphantasia? Yeah. It's crazy, isn't it? People listening won't have mind's eyes. What? I don't get that at all. It's really hard to get your head around. I don't understand.

But then how do you remember what people look like? They kind of don't. But surely they recognize people they know. They sort of have the memory of it, but they can't picture it. That's it. I can sometimes not be able to picture someone's face. I understand that.

But then I will recognize him. Okay, okay, I see that. So they have that feeling even when it's just like an apple or a tree. That's crackers. Yeah. Yeah, it blew my head clean off. Inquibible. Wow.

It is inquibible. Man. Yes, a bunch of the artists at Pixar also have... How do they have a wank, Pierre? How do they have a wank? That's what I need to know. I think Richard Herring mentioned this, where it's sort of just like vague memories

or memory of the theme. Of just the concept of sex. Yeah, they have very artistic wankers in that sense can they create images in their mind no they can't no so even like little abstract doodles no they can't do that they can't see it gosh it's mad isn't it i wonder if that makes you more focused i wonder if like you get distracted less or if you daydream less. Do they dream? Can they dream?

I don't know. I mean, the Pixar artists who can't do it, he asked them, like, well, how do you do art if you can't have art in your head? And they were of the opinion or they figured eventually that it was why. Like they compensated for it by drawing and having it on the page. And like you said, it made them sort of more focused and stuff.

So like they could have sort of become really good at art anyway. But yeah, it's so weird. That's not me for six. Yeah. Yeah, it made my head hurt. Gave me one of them thinking headaches um but then i i um do you have anything where your brain just shuts down and you can't understand it and you don't want to My brain just shuts down.

No, I guess I have quite a powerful brain. My brain is very powerful. I have it whenever I try and read philosophy. Oh, yeah. I mean, I tried to read... I bought Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. I was like, this will get me started on the whole philosophy. I've never had a book I could read so little of. I read a paragraph and I was like, I think I'm keeping up.

And then the first sentence of the next paragraph was like, nope, I'm finished. I have no idea what he's talking about i got i got nietzsche i got like um thus spake zarathustra didn't make any sense at all no idea what he's talking about no idea and but yeah like you say to the extent that i'm convinced no one can understand it or like the writer doesn't understand it yeah or my instinct is like i suddenly become really like uh i suddenly become really sort of um um oh god what's it called where people like a luddite where right where i'm like it's too complicated and it's not useful yeah it can't it can't be right yeah you just want to throw it you too complicated and it's not useful yeah it can't be worth anything you just want to burn it and throw it away

it can't be worth anything if it's so fiddly it can't do anything in actual life it's just like something that's in knots for its own sake you know yeah I just find it impossible like you say it's the reading equivalent of trying to chew through a wooden stick.

It just takes so much chewing, like, I think I get it. And then, like you say, you start to read a bit faster, like it's a normal thing you're reading, and then you hit some sentence where you just go, that's gibberish to me. I literally have no fucking idea what that is.

It's compounded by the fact that all the people I know who did philosophy at uni and did it well, are fucking silly. They're silly people, Pierre. They're silly. When I meet them and talk to them, they're silly. They're categorically silly. And I can't understand something.

Presumably they can. So that's quite galling. Yes, that's it, isn't it? And I'm amused that you did what I did, which is you sort of sat there at home thinking, I keep hearing about all this philosophy. Well, I suppose I'd better take a look. It's such a funny uh attitude it is yeah just it's like it's like the way that a middle-aged person would look into hip-hop well i suppose i'd better listen to some of this grime if that's what

people keep chatting about for god's sake and then you go and get the little books like you say get a bit of Nietzsche. I've heard of him. And then you give it a peek and you go, this is fucking gibberish. I have no clue what this is about. The other day I tried to figure out what someone meant on Twitter

by referencing Hegelian freedoms. Right. Did you get anywhere? Maybe like, I felt a bit like I understood it at one point and then that melted away like an ice cube in hell. I don't know. Because I'd first think, well, how complicated can this be? I understand the concept of freedom is on the surface pretty simple.

How many different versions can there be? Or like how many different requirements can freedom have? Yeah, and the other problem i have is that everyone i know who does know about philosophy has uh like a dog in the fight like like they support yeah they're like they support philosophers the way other people support football clubs yes exactly yeah so whenever i say to them yeah what what's the good philosophy they always go oh it's totally this guy yeah and they completely give me what i can tell even just from their tone is just essentially someone else's opinion it's unique philosophy like as a profession or as even just in an academic professional sense

it's unique in that your job is proving the way you've chosen to live is correct you know what I mean you have to justify your mad beliefs it's like

you've bought a pair of trousers and then committed the rest of your life to proving why those are the best trousers in the shop. Well, they're blue. And they fit my waist just right. And what is a waist but the circumference of a man who, yeah, just endlessly. And then someone else is like, but it hasn't enough pockets.

And then you reply, well, maybe you have too many things. And then that's like 10 years of your work. Is that one argument? I just, a lot of the time, whenever they end up saying like, but what if that doesn't, how do we know that exists? I just want to go, oh, shut up. How do I know your hand exists?

Anyone can say that. Yeah. How do you know? Well, how do I know you exist? And I want to be like, because I'm going to punch you in the head. I'm going to give you a smack around the back of the head because i'm so sick of this whirling rhetoric it's i don't know it's also like uh the same feeling i get when

uh if if if like science gets complicated enough like i i have a book by the guy who like um you know tenet the new film with from what's his tits chris van nolen yeah yeah so he he wrote that after reading a book that i'm reading at the moment by an italian quantum physicist i got lent it by a friend who is like it's like popular science like it's basically a really smart italian quantum physicist who's gone i'm gonna do my best to fucking explain this to you people so it's like very much you know it in the airport, read it on the plane kind of stuff. Yeah. But I got stuck on a chapter where the heading of the chapter is time does not exist.

Okay. You know, my boots got stuck in that mud, Phil. You had to shout out to the other readers go on without me i need to spend some time here thinking about the phrase time does not exist there's a there's a really good armstrong and miller sketch where ben miller plays a physicist who's invited onto like bbc like like a like a silly bbc morning news program like this morning or whatever. And he's just discovered some breakthrough in quantum mechanics.

And the host is like, well, this might be a bit over my head, but could you just sort of distill what it is you've done to the viewer at home? And Ben Miller just goes, oh, no. Can you just find just like a layman's explanation of what it is you've discovered?

And Ben Miller's just like, no, no, I can't. I spent 15 years trying to understand this and there's no way to distill it. And that's exactly it,'t it yeah yeah that's that's that's the that's a challenge that this uh italian quantum physicist has to take on he is i think he ben miller is a doctor of physics or chemistry yeah i think it's physics yeah it's um yeah this i mean this italian guy god bless him does his best and And it's a very good book. But fucking hell.

Hmm, I might try it. It's really good. Have you seen Tenet? Not yet. It's, in my opinion, not good. It's not good. Interesting. Well, I managed to be a cool kid,

and my friend lent me this book before I knew it was the basis for the film. So aren't I just the coolest cat in town? You're one of the few people who can say after watching Tenet that it's not as good as the book. None of Tenet will blow my mind as much as a chapter called There is no such thing as time. And an Italian man desperately trying to explain to me

that space-time is also inherently granular. Granular? What does that mean? Like literally made of grains? Basically, yeah. It's not empty space. It does have substance and it isn't infinitely divisible. So even like the vacuum of space where there is supposed to be nothing, it is made of something. It's made of little bits. Yes. The sort of quantum field of space-time or something to be nothing there are it is made of something it's made of little bits the sort of quantum field of space time or something it's always there it's like the universe has inherent pixels pixels that's my understanding of it which as i've mentioned is wrong but it's something like that i have to there's diagrams's diagrams, Phil. There's arrows. Oh.

It's a real mind masher, but it's easier to understand. I want to read this book now and understand more of it than you. I want to read this book competitively. Yes, let's... We'll do a test. It's a book-off. It's a good old-fashioned book-off, everyone.

Looks like we got ourselves an old-fashioned book-off, everyone. Looks like we got ourselves an old-fashioned book-off, boys. We'll do a pub quiz run by the Italian guy. That'd be good. A taberna quiz. Yes, please. A taberna quiz, yeah. And he'll be like,

Okay, if you got the spice time right you got a bit of spice time what's it made of hey no bullshit don't take the pisser from me here okay the final question does time bloody exist or not is there such a thing as time Final question. Does time bloody exist or not? Is there such a thing as time? Or is it just a figment of imagination? You've got 30 seconds. Yes or no?

Need I remind you lads that there is no such thing as time. It is merely a way of expressing changes in particles over a period. Okay. changes in particles over a period. Okay. Like a mama used to say, space-time is a granular. Quantum particles, just like a mama used to observe.

It's, um... Yeah, i'm sort of i'm looking over at this the stack of books that i thought i would read in lockdown and didn't and i'm just amazed at my own dedication to partially understanding almost everything and never fully understanding almost anything just to always go, I want to be able to say three things and nothing of any value about everything in the world. Yeah, you want that sort of, you want that sort of thin earth's crust of knowledge

around everything, right? The smarty shell. Yeah yeah you want that sort of stephen fry yeah all-encompassing like earth's crust knowledge what i what i take real pleasure in phil is having just the right amount and type of knowledge to surprise someone who knows lots about it yes i love that when you say something when you when you make yeah you meet someone who knows lots about it. Yes, I love that. When you say something, when you meet someone who's like an expert on leaves and you go,

oh, would that be the Numabian frond? And they go, oh, yes. That's the best feeling in the world. Even though that's the one thing you know about leaves yeah and then you don't have to say anything else because then they keep talking yeah and they uh they say oh almost like they're flattered that's what i like oh you remembered yeah i had that once in japan when i could i could read read a whiskey list in Hiragana. And it was just like the Japanese transliteration of...

And the guy was like, oh, oh yeah that's pretty neat i mean the japanese would have whiskey made with octopus eggs wouldn't they oh can you imagine how quickly that would sell out whiskey made from octopus eggs combines the japanese love of whiskey with their love of sushi and seafood and their love of like freaky tentacle sex yeah yeah all in there is everything they need do you know you can buy vodka that has it's just like bad normal vodka but it's been poured over someone's boobs is that true yeah wow yeah wow what's it called boob vodka i don't know yeah vodka bob bobka boobka boobkaka Bobka Bobushka Vodka Bobushka

Bobushka A tit tot A tot of tit Well I wonder what What is like the Environment in which This vodka is being poured over these breasts Like in a factory

Or like in her home I think Like do they just come over and say And she's like Oh was that today It's like come over and say and she's like oh what's that today it's like yeah sorry is that right it's like yeah it's fine i'll just have to i just around here i picture her i picture the and it's always like it's like a stripper or a porn star or whatever it's someone like you'd have heard of if you were the kind of person who wanted to buy oh it comes with the name of the the lady i think so. It's all very much in that

industry. And I just like the... I picture her kind of dipping her tits in a sluice and just reading a magazine. G Spirit is what it's called. Is that what it's called?

Taste Meets Sensuality... Titty Vodka is another one. Oh my god. That's why it's just. Is that what it's called? Taste Meets Sensuality. Titty Vodka is another one. Oh my god. That's why it's just called Titty Vodka. G-Spirit, so I think it's the company. Titty Vodka is a real 5pm on Friday suggestion. Marketing did not do their best work on Titty Vodka. Titty Tots and Nippleipple nips that would have been better

this is the landing page on the official G Spirits website ladies and gentlemen and then lowercase p probably you have already heard about us and now you observe.

Damn, this crazy stuff is real. If not, no problem. As listed below, we describe who we are and what we do. G-spirits are best liquors, which stand for excellent taste, gorgeous women and stylish design. Exactly these things, which a bon vivant does appreciate and love. things which a bon vivant does appreciate and love. Is best liquor. Damn, this crazy stuff is real, you observe.

And you observe it is crazy real. The result is a bottled diabolic good mixture of lifestyle. Cheers. Is that what it says? Yeah. A diabolic good mixture of lifestyle. The result, it's a bottle diabolic good mixture of lifestyle cheers is that what it says yeah diabolic good mixture of lifestyle the result it's a bottle that's some amazing grammar going on there a diabolic lifestyle mixture of hot women it's real but yeah it's like playboy cover girls and all this sort of thing. God. But they must just have like a little like... Like a bit of guttering, you know? PVC guttering, like you'd put around the edge of a roof?

Right, yeah, because surely they have to wear a sort of... Like a collecting brassiere. Like a sort of... Like a collecting brassiere, like a sort of aqueduct corset to catch all the vodka. Well, so imagine if you just had a bit of guttering, right? And then they sort of climb up on a sort of chair. Maybe they kneel on a chair or they sit on a chair leaning forward. Dip your knockers in the gutter. Right, okay, that's a good way of doing it.

That's much quicker, isn't it? To just have this sort of trough of that. Then the vodka just flows past the boobs. Yeah. And you're sat there reading a magazine like you're in a salon. So is she leaving the boobs in there like a teabag to sort of infuse the vodka for like three minutes.

Because essentially... That's much more efficient. Oh, well, when it comes to tit vodka, Phil, I'm like the Henry Ford. Is that more efficient? Or would it be more efficient to... That would be more efficient. There'd also be less waste because, you know, there's not vodka splashing about all over the place, falling on the and well that's it well that's it so you've just got a tea bag style dip dip dip your tits in the gutter madam please um and we're going to sell this to people who don't just want

to drink bad vodka they want to drink bad vodka with skin cells in it's so gross but of course the the the beautiful thing about this vodka is you can sell it to people and not even have had to have done it well that's it isn't it no one's no one's doing csi tit vodka are they no yeah that's true they're not even analyzing it there'll be a very funny thing to go like we're gonna take this straight to washington like that's your big court case yeah yeah yeah like i'll go to some consumer watchdog yeah yeah ladies and gentlemen of the jury my client believed in good faith that he was purchasing vodka that had been run over the breasts of that woman. Not any woman. The whole, the jury's like, oh.

Sir, could you tell me whose breasts the vodka actually flowed through and over? My breasts. A little louder, please. My breasts. Everyone's taking pictures. And when the complainants on the stand, the lawyer's like, can you show on this doll

where you expected the vodka to have been poured over? Here and here. Ladies and gentlemen, jury, please take note that he pointed to both breasts. Let the record show that he indicated the tits of the doll. It's a big blow-up doll. That's funny.

that's funny ladies and gentlemen of the jury I'm not gonna stand here and try and convince you that my client over there is a great man I'm not gonna try to convince you that my client over there is a wise man. But what he is, is a God-fearing American who knows his rights. Not only that, he's a man who deserves what he pays for. what he pays for. And that man over there paid for a bottle of vodka that had been poured,

however you'd like to define it, drizzled, dipped, sluiced, over the titties of a famous porn star with whom he had prior affection and knowledge. He was a fan, ladies and gentlemen. The jury, he was a fan. Now, I may not be some fancy city lawyer, I may not be some fancy city lawyer,

some slick Harvard-educated carpetbagger like the lawyer representing my opponent over there, Titty Juice Limited, but I can tell you one thing for sure, that I don't need to go to no Harvard or Yale to learn, which is that if a man pays for vodka that's been drizzled through the titties of an actress with whom he has previously acquainted and admires the work of, well, that's what that man deserves to get. well, that's what that man deserves to get. Now, what actually happened was that my client received a bottle of vodka that had been drizzled past the titties of a dog! A common dog!

Order! Order! My God! Bailiff! Bailiff, remove the public from the court! Is that how we're going to make the most money ever out of Budpod, is suing the boob vodka men? Yes. G-Spirit versus Budpod. Do you think during this time of coronavirus, they have to sort of anti-back the tits before they dip them?

I would have liked to think they did that anyway. But then is the whole point that you are getting the essence of these boobs? You know, you don't want... Because, I mean, sanitize them enough and you might as well just be pouring them over a stainless steel panel, you know? Like, what does it matter?

Right? The whole point is that it's a bit dirty. Has anyone ever asked a homeopathy practitioner if this technically means the vodka is more boob than just eating an actual human boob? Right. Is it memory vodka? Yeah, because the dilution makes it more powerful than homeopathy.

Do they actually say that? I'm pretty sure. Certainly, water has memory. Yeah, great. So this is very much sexy for homeopaths as well. Mamiopaths. Yeah, it might as well just be somehow kind of pure tit water. Yeah.

It's perfect. Maybe we can sell something like that. Yeah. What would we do? Every pint of real ale Has been poured through me bollocks I guess it would have to be Lucky Kentucky We'd have to first make Lucky Kentucky

We could find someone willing to do that Well I mean of course it would have to be Lucky Kentucky. We'd have to first make Lucky Kentucky. We could find someone willing to do that. Well, I mean, of course, Lucky Kentucky exists. It's a real whiskey. So we'd have to... We'd hold a barrel. We'd go in and find the best barrel and we'd hold it and we'd

pour it over our bums, I guess. And then we'd sell that. Bum whiskey. Bum whiskey'd sell that. Bum whiskey. Bum whiskey, yeah. Lucky Kentucky bum whiskey. Yeah, it'd have to be called something special, though. Or like, you know, like brown label.

Brown label. Brown label. Lucky Kentucky brown label. Crack aged. like a kentucky brown label crack aged we have to dip our bums in it for for 10 years the whiskey slowly absorbs the flavor of the ass what if we sell vodka poured over the hands of everyone's

favorite politicians okay so it's for politics nerds yeah yeah yeah okay okay okay I think they'll have a pretty small market yeah it'd be luxury goods of high value I think they'll have a pretty small market. Yeah.

Yeah, it'd be luxury goods of high value, low volume kind of product. We've poured this tequila through the hair of all the game show hosts. We've got Chris Tarrant to wash his hair with this tequila is there ever a an equivalent because like for for women because it's always men who want to like not only do they want to drink they want to do it like they want to they want their drinks to have gone on some tits. I mean, there's no female equivalent, is there? No. Maybe some Harry Styles fans

would be the level of madness we need, you know? I guess, but you're right. In general, women don't have this sort of mythology about But yeah, you're right. So in general, women don't have this sort of mythology about things having been touched or having been in the possession of someone. Yeah. Like, you know, this car was from Russia with love or whatever.

That's like a very male thing to care about where something has been or who has had it or who has touched it. It seems like it, but the only exception I can think of is if you look up Harry Styles fans and they're bidding for a tissue he dropped on eBay and things. Right, but that's very specifically sort of rabid teenagers, isn't it?

Yeah, it has to be. They're always like teens and it has to always be like a kind of smooth-faced handsome, non-threatening pop star i find i find harry styles very threatening actually that long hair you fear hanks i do you fear what he could do if he put his mind to it you talk about harry styles like uh how in X-Men movies they talk about mutants who don't know they're mutants yet right yes yes if the wrong person were to teach

him how to wield his powers it could be very dangerous not just for us but for the galaxy intimacy such a long complicated word for such a sweet simple thing we here at lucky kentucky believe in the magic and the value of intimacy, of being close to one another, and of us being close to you, the drinkers of Lucky Kentucky. Which is why we have just released the newest member of the Lucky Kentucky family, Lucky Kentucky Brown Label.

The Brown Label is a special intimate drink. We pour the whiskey, delicious Lucky Kentucky whiskey that you've grown to love, that we all love, regular Kentucky, Lucky Kentucky Whiskey that you've grown to love. We all love regular Lucky Kentucky Whiskey. But this Lucky Kentucky Whiskey we pour over the bums of

Phil and Pierre from Bud Pod. The official Lucky Kentucky Podcast. Brown label is a whiskey infused with delicious earthy taste of the bums of two boys who do a podcast together. You'll be able to taste the care, the love, the intimacy of Lucky Kentucky Brown Label. of Lucky Kentucky Brown Label.

Lucky Kentucky Brown Label is crack-aged to infuse that gorgeous, deep, rich taste of Philippe's beehives. This is derriere drinking like you've never known. Perfect for a winter night in when all you want is to be warmed from the inside out by the fine taste of octopus eggs and podcasting bums. Bums, sit back, relax, and unwind in the intimacy of Lurkey, Kentucky, Brown Label. Lurkey, Kentucky denies all responsibility for any cases of cholera, diarrhea, or bacterial infection of any kind. That is your fault. It has nothing to do with Lurker, Kentucky, Brown Label.

Besides, there's alcohol in Lurker, Kentucky. Surely it would kill all the germs. I was saying there are any germs coming off of Pierre's bums. They say they've cleaned them. We don't know the truth, but we presume they are. What we're trying to say is you can't sue us if you get sick from drinking

Lucky Kentucky Round Label, but why would you need to? Because you won't. You won't get sick unless you are made sick by intimacy. In which case, you deserve to be sick. Because intimacy is nice all right have you been watching uh i've only just i've been recommended it by a bunch of people so if you're listening and you recommended this to me thank you uh i've been watching... I've only just... I've been recommended it by a bunch of people, so if you're listening and you recommended this to me,

thank you. I've been watching The Boys. Oh, yes. I heard about that a few months ago. On Prime. It's like a superhero thing. Yes, it's a sort of cynical satire. A cynical satire?

I know! Usually satire is so supportive of the... of the of the status quo it's a cynical satire it's really good it's absolutely horrific at parts oh great okay

does it have a sort of watchmen vibe oh yeah yeah yeah it's the gore is quite something oh great okay maybe i'll try and watch it oh you must it'll it'll it's and it's a lot of fun it's really do you know the premise no it's basically what would it be like if there really was you know the justice league or whatever yeah so they have um america has like 200 naturally occurring superheroes

they have um america has like 200 naturally occurring superheroes uh-huh but the top seven are like an equivalent to captain america an equivalent to aquaman an equivalent to wonder woman yeah etc and they're all and the invisible man and stuff and they're the the top seven are referred to as like the seven and they're the big celebrities and they get all the marketing deals right and all the other ones are like different levels of celebrity like b-list c-list like whatever um and they're all kind of not all the superheroes but the main ones and the main seven are controlled and licensed by a kind of private security company okay okay okay who run all the movie deals merchandise deals public appearance endorsements you know it's like like a celebrity agency but one that has kind of yeah you know superpower capability yeah okay all right right so it's like how superhero heroes would work in capitalism yeah it's very much like donald trump's

justice league okay that sounds good i like that it's great. It's a lot of fun, and it's really well cast. Really well cast. Okay. Yeah. Really well cast. It's not often that I hear PSA something's very well cast. Yeah, everyone's faces are just very good. Okay, okay.

Where you sort of go, oh, you've got exactly the right face for that fucking role you're doing now. Right, well, that sounds like a pretty good acting i'd say yeah but sometimes it's like the person's doing really good acting but also you think like uh that's exactly what that kind of guy looks like right okay, okay, okay. Great. I can recommend... Have you seen I Hate Susie? No, what's that? It's with Billy Piper. It's this nude drama with Billy Piper. And basically she plays like a British celeb

who has like some nudes leaked. And it's basically the fallout from that and how she has to deal with it. It's really fun. It's really good. It's really good. Really well cast. It's great. She's an amazing actor, Billie Piper. Which is funny

because she started off like a pop singer. Old William Pipes. William Piper. Born William J. Piper. William J. Piper William J. Piper She is good Okay I'll check that out Very nice

Very good This is the television recommendation part of Budpod What um And what will you be doing with your time In your teenage bedroom and in bath Oh you don't want to know You don't want to know. You don't want to know. Nostalgia jacking it.

I'm performing... Well, because I had a couple of gigs Sunday night. I was at Warwick Castle, which is a lovely castle. Have you been to Warwick Castle? I'm doing the gig at Warwick Castle very soon. Oh, great. It's very nice. Beautiful castle, like proper game of thrones shit but it looks like sort of a castle you'd find in sort of the the alps or in romania or something like it's one whole side of it's just a sheer

wall on the river you know and oh nice yeah uh and there's like one part of the castle walls goes up a little hill and there's like a a lone tree on this hill and like like something from game of thrones you know where you have to go and you you'd seek counsel from someone in a in a hood. It's really cool. Nice. Sick. And then tonight I'm performing in Bristol. So I thought I might as well come back down to Bath and hang out for a bit. What are you doing in Bristol?

Which venue? The Lakota it's called. The Lakota? I know. Like the North American tribe. Is that what it is? L-A-K-O-T-A. That's the one. Lakota is like saying Sioux or Cherokee, yeah.

Oh, interesting. It's a Native American tribe. Well, you can have a go at them, Phil, for appropriation of some kind. It's a nightclub in Bristol, apparently. There's a beer garden. Well, get it while you can it's going to be locked down to Electric Boogaloo

very soon yeah why has this happened? why are we going back and back? yeah, why? everyone's been having coughing parties don't even talk to me

Until I've had my coughing Exactly Well folks if you can catch either me or Phil At any gigs before the lockdown 2 happens Please do but other than that Stay indoors and protect the virus From the NHS or whichever way around it That mean old NHS Wants to kill this virus doors and protect the virus from the NHS or whichever way around it.

That mean old NHS wants to kill this virus, but we're not going to let him, are we, folks? No. It's going to be like the end of E.T. Cycling away from the FBI with the virus in the basket at the end of your bicycle, all wrapped up. This is where this new movement starts. Here on Budpod pod leave our virus alone

it's our living being start posting hashtag leave our virus alone it's about biodiversity and it's it's a virus of color remember it's a virus of color it's from china and i just you know you know i'm just saying that if this was a white if this was a white virus if this was a virus from the uk i i don't think you'd be getting this much negative press that's all i'm saying i'm not saying any one individual is is wrong in this i'm not blaming blaming any one individual. I'm just saying as a society, I think we would have acted differently if this

virus was, you know. You know what I'm saying. Let's just say this is quite the reaction to a virus. That's some online sass. This is quite the reaction to a little. That's some online sass. This is quite the reaction to a little virus of colour.

I want to start calling the coronavirus a virus of colour. A VOC. A VOC, yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. See how many people... I mean mean i think that tweet would annoy everyone i i know i swear to god i could find some traction in some pockets of the insane internet that would go he's right this is a good point i think it would it would certainly be at least as annoying everyone as your tweet about dogs and Chernobyl

yeah alright have a good gig man thanks what are you going to do what am I going to do I had to cancel my medieval Monday stream so I'm going to do that today which is Tuesday so if you're hearing this it's too late

but then on Wednesday the day the Bud Pod is released of course I'll be doing my Medieval Monday stream. So I'm going to do that today, which is Tuesday. So if you're hearing this, it's too late. But then on Wednesday, the day the Bud Pod is released, of course, I'll be doing Warzone Wednesday. And I have to reschedule Thinking Thursday. I'll figure that out. But yeah, just streaming and writing and keeping a weather eye on the news. Are you going to have a wry take on the news are you going to have a right right take on the

news right that's what there's a right eye keeping a right eye on the news and keeping a right eye on the news from a sideways glance that's right for more cynical satire that's right so most

cynical satire coming from me you watch out I'm pretty anti the government right now all uh have a good week guys stay safe and of course koji koji everyone bye