BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - NoBuddy PodNic

Episode Date: March 13, 2022

Phil Wang and Pierre Novellie from Bud Pod collide with Stevie Martin and Tessa Coates for a mash up episode all about friendship and fecal matter. They chat elderly chums, doing “the both” and of course there’s a poo story."You have the power to do something incredible this Red Nose Day. Whether it’s a little or a lot, the money you donate will help tackle poverty, take action against violence and bring an end to discrimination. Give now at comicrelief.com/podcastmashup, alternatively Text PODCAST to 70210 to give £10 today.To donate £10 text the word PODCAST to 70210. Texts cost your donation amount plus your standard network message charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill-payer’s permission. For full terms and conditions visit comicrelief.com/podcastmashup" Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to No Buddy Pod Nick! That was Phil Wang! Yes! From Bud Pod! Would you believe I just improvised that tune? Well done. He just knew it off the back of his head. I'm Stevie. Tessa?

Hello. Coates is with me from Nobody Panic. And also we're doing a mash-up with Pierre Novelli and Phil Wang from Bud Pod! Yay! Yay! Yay! No Buddy Podnik. No Buddy Podnik. As you do, welcome to episode one.

Episode one looks like a lot of fun. Yes! Yes! Perfect. Yes. That's how you do it, Raymond. That's how you do it, Phil. Me talking to myself.

You stupid. I think your rhymes are excellent. Thank you. This is a Red Nose Day podcast, Raymond. That's how you do it, Phil. Me talking to myself. You stupid. I think your rhymes are excellent. Thank you. This is a Red Nose Day podcast mashup. It's back. In case you're listening and being like, what is going on? Acast are bringing you exclusive bonus podcasts

from your favourite podcasters to raise money and change lives. And there's so many podcasts involved. You've got Football Ramble. Help, I sexted my boss. Help! Dan Snow's history hit. My dad wrote a porno.

What? The Guilty Feminist. Homer Sapien's Off Menu. Films to be buried with. Films to be buried with. Ain't got a clue. And more! I like to think I'm a Phil to be buried with, hopefully.

Yeah. Yeah. I think you are. Yeah. You will be. Like I'm a servant in ancient Egypt, and the pharaoh is like, Phil's a good servant to be buried with hopefully yeah yeah i think you are yeah you will be like i'm a servant in ancient egypt and the pharaoh is like that feels like a good servant to be buried with in a small in a small jar in the shape of a cat yeah everyone has to be buried with like their organs outside of

them and like a bit of someone called phil that's what you have with everyone everyone must do you think a pharaoh would would sort of beef with? What do you mean? Well, he'd be sat around trying to buy his court, and someone would, like... Go on, please! Someone would, you know, spill an urn or whatever, and he would be like, you're going to be spilling a lot of urns in the afterlife? Is that part of your... Because that position in my tomb is looking a little less likely

to the scented oils all over my bare feet instead of in that big candle. I guess you probably want to if you're the servant of a pharaoh. You want to be an asshole so he doesn't bury you alive with him. It depends if you believe it, though. Oh, yeah. I think they all were pretty into it, weren't they? I think at the time people were pretty hot on that belief.

And hot. And hot, and crucially, sexy. Sexy. Very sexy. Beside the terracotta warriors, there's another sealed tomb that they won't open. They know it's there, though, and they know what's in it, and they refuse to open it, and it's got in it, Phil,

it's got a famous, you know, it's got people buried, it's got people in it with the team, you know? Why won't they open it? Well, exactly, why won't they open it? What do you mean? In Sian? This is near the terracotta warriors. you know why won't they open it well exactly why won't they open it but what do you mean what in sian near near this is near the terracotta yeah right right neck right next to it when they did this sort of satellite imaging they were like oh my god there's another one under there and they

won't open it and it's what the one that they think it's got like a river of mercury in it so when you went in it would have been like the stars would have like lit in there, and they think the wives and the servants went in alive with him. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. Anyway, the thing is they won't open it. I think because they're like, that shit's so cursed, we ain't going in. Right, yeah. No, we won't.

They scanned it, and all the servants were in a little ring playing cards against humanity. Yeah, they had to look. They're all still alive in there and they were like, ah, no, no, no, no, we're not going in. Shall we do what we do at the start of Nobody Panic podcast and then we can do a feature that you do on BudPod? Also, anyone listening, we're going to be doing

how to be a good buddy. We're going to fit that in. But rather than doing our most adult thing, because that's a very BudPod. Also, anyone listening, we're going to be doing How to Be a Good Buddy. We're going to fit that in. But rather than doing our most adult thing, because that's a very nobody panic thing, we wanted to do a mashup. And we're going to go around

and say, who's your most adult bud? Who's your most adult bud, guys? Who's the oldest person you're friends with? It's one of those, yeah, it's a relatable podcast episode alienating both of our audiences. Yeah, and if, while you're listening, you're friends with it's one of those yeah it's a relatable podcast episode alienating both

of our audiences yeah and if while you're listening you're thinking god this is good content god i'm enjoying it bloody hell i bet they recorded this very early on a sunday morning and think you know what i will donate you can donate 10 pounds if you text the word podcast capital letters to 70210. Text costs your donation amount plus your standard network message in charge and 100% of donations will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditions, visit comicrelief.com forward slash podcast mashup.

How about you? I felt really good. Get LBC on the phone. Yeah, let me have a job. I'd love to do that. You're my most adult bud. Thank you. I cannot be the oldest person you know. Please.

Who would like to start us off on the, who is your most adult bud? My friend Mike is 80. Wow. Oh, how did you meet Mike? He was, he wasn't a teacher at my high school, but he like, he was like a kind of version, like a sort of scout master, like a kind of of he'd teach orienteering and dav and teach you how to live in the woods yes classic pe yeah yeah it's he was like the guy from the revenant he was uh a wild man of the mountains no he wasn't he's just like a nice guy who did lots of stuff with

sort of the scouts and things and you've kept kept in touch with him? Yeah, I saw him at Christmas, yeah. He was even at the time, but he's now even more of like a classic old guy in the sense that he collects stamps and coins. Oh, yes. And he knows a lot about trains. And that's the sort of thing you want from an older guy. Has he ever given you, my grandparents gave me a five pound coin in like 1998 and we're like, will be good and it's it's just a very

big this will be good happy birthday hey watch this watch this i'm giving cv a five pound coin this will be good this will be good this will be good is it like a plate how big is a five pound coin like a coaster or something a beer coaster It's smaller than a coaster, but bigger than an amulet. Yes, of course. Monocle sized. I once had a £50 note and I just kept it for years because I was like, when am I ever going to... I've never seen that colour anywhere else.

A £50 note. I was like, what is this? A pink, sort of purple... Salmon? It's disgusting. When I go for a run, I'm the colour of a £50 note, exactly. When I go for a run, I go exactly the shade and consistency of Hellboy. Like, just full...

You do? Yeah, and it's so... it's, like, breathtakingly red. It's, like... It's actually quite beautiful. It's really beautiful. It's actually quite beautiful. It's really beautiful. It's something to behold. My adult bud is 75, and he works in the post office, and he is really into climbing,

and behind him in the post office is all the pictures of him climbing different large hills. And he is very funny and a conspiracy theorist and um we have a lot of good chat and i actually wrote about him in the i made a reference to him in our min stevie's book a bit about in our chapter about making friends and i say like oh i've got loads of friends i consider the man in the post office my friend even though i don't know his name and he's a conspiracy theorist and you say well you're a conspiracy theorist as well and i say that's the truth and then uh to christmas i went in and he gave me a shot of jagermeister in the post office in the post office in the post office

and he literally said like do you want a drink and i it was like 10 a.m and i was like yeah all right and he got out a little tray of shit jagermeister shots so we did a shot of jagermeister together and then i gave him the book i'd signed it to him and he was very chuffed and then he told me a conspiracy theory i was like see i told you he loves him it sounds like you met like it was like a reverse father christmas interaction you went to find an old man who delivers parcels and got a little bit of booze from him for visiting yeah and then gave him a present i gave him a gift phil who's your oldest bud oh i've been racking my brains but i guess it'll have to be has anyone heard of someone

called our lord god he's always there for me can be a bit judgy I've been racking my brain but all I can think about is my friend who's in her mere 40s and I'm thinking am I an ageist yes

I don't know anyone I think you're going to have to commit to your lord and saviour not only have I met one old person. You've never met an old person. I've never met an old person. Phil's just about the youth, you know. Phil's just like... I'm too busy skateboarding and TikToking.

Phil is an ageist. I saw him once rub the arm of someone in the year above him and say, you're doing very well. His level of ageism. I saw him once rub the arm of someone in the year above him and say, you're doing very well. His level of ageism. Okay, Stevie, come on. The bar is low. I'd say the bar's quite high because I've got an older friend who's, I think, 84, and he's a friend of my parents,

but there's not, like, a funny story, like he gave me Jägermeister in a post office or he's the Lord God. He's just a nice really fun guy what's his what's his hobbies what's he you met him Tessa he came to the both of them Geri and Wendy shout out if you're listening they won't be and they came to see the show because they lived near Bristol Geri and Wendy were excellent value they came to our Bristol live show they came an hour and a half early

to get a good seat. They sat and watched us set up. They're very brilliant, but I don't, no one's ever, you know, we've not done shots. So just a nice, solid adult friend to bring us home. Shall we?

Do you have any listener emails from fellow Bud Podders? Yes. In order to provide some context, initially the emails were about anything. And then we did an episode where Phil recounted, I think it's episode seven, if there are any archivists listening, where Phil recounted his adventures in Australia trying to navigate the instruction set for a fecal sample kit for health reasons. Harder than you think. It is a very funny story.

That started off this avalanche of sort of vaguely poopy emails from our listeners. Because initially the joke was that we didn't want it to become that. And so that's all we got. And now it has happened. Like a sort of curse we've brought into existence by wishing against it.

A classic curse. So we've got a message here from Mike. Mike! Oh, then I try and do a rhyme with the name. Mike, take a hike, but only after you tell us your poo story. Mike, you little tyke. What have you got for us today? That's nice.

Mike, get on your bike. Please. Very good. Very good. Mike, go on strike. See if you can get more paid holiday. Sorry. See if you can get more paid holiday.

Mike says, hi, and then the first part of his email is in Irish, right? So bear with me, any Irish speakers. Phonetically, tashgail kakagum. Or translated into English, I have a poo story. Oh, it sounds so much nicer in Irish. Or more literally, there is a poo story within me. Fantastic. It's a lyrical language. It's so poetic.

A few years ago, I visited my sister and friend in Malaysia for three weeks. I assume two people. Yeah. I had a great time traveling around Malaysia with them, but after a week of that, I grabbed the opportunity to visit the Perhentian Islands by myself with both hitherto shit-free hands. It's a bit of fore, I grabbed the opportunity to visit the Perhentian Islands by myself, with both hitherto shit-free hands.

That's a bit of forewarning there. Yeah. The reason this excited me is I was a single guy, and my base tan had already built up after a few days in country. Us Irish need the base tan to have any confidence abroad. A base tan. Base tan. I'm surprised you didn't say a base tan, and also, by the way,

I'm still not covered in shit at this point yeah my top priority was now to meet a female fellow traveller wow I didn't waste any time after being shown to my beach hut accommodation

I approached two girls I'd spotted on the beach and chatted for a bit that's the confidence of an Irish man outside of Ireland yes they clean up on the travels

that accent oh yes like a homing signal I approached two girls I'd spotted on the travels. That accent. Oh, yes. Like a homing signal. I approached two girls I'd spotted on the beach and chatted for a bit. Australian, he says. We arranged to have dinner that evening at a beach bar very nearby. Dinner time approaching.

I felt good. The usual vaguely sweaty undercarriage that accompanies the pressure of having to be charming and funny, but nothing to be concerned with. Good. Okay. I didn't know you always got sweaty in this undercarriage every accompanies the pressure of having to be charming and funny but nothing to be concerned with good okay i didn't know you you always got sweaty in this on the undercarriage every time you i'm glad you said that because i was like oh we're all just going to accept that's something that happened what's your undercarriage is that right under the sort of is it your gooch probably yeah i suppose that's the underest undercarriage and that's what gets sweaty before you meet a lady is it oh dear i get sweaty back when you meet a lady, is it? Oh, dear. I get sweaty back when I meet a lady.

I think that makes more sense to me than undercarriage, but this is Mike's reaction. This is his truth. No shame. This is Mike's truth. Carry on, Mike's truth. Vaguely sweaty undercarriage accompanies the pressure of having to be charming and funny, but nothing to be concerned with.

The dinner went well, while my chances of showing one of these ladies around my hut later was diminished. By virtue of the fact that there were two of them, it did mean the whole affair was more relaxed and friendly. Very good, Mike. And I will say, if you're good enough, those ladies will draw straws and, you know. Or both. Bonk you.

Well, and why not? And why not? We're dealing with an Irishman on a beach here. If anyone's going to pull off the boat, it's going to be Mike and his undercarriage. Pull off the boat. It's a much more ominous way to refer to threesomes as the boat. Pull off the boat. It's quite pagan. After I'd finished my pizza,

so first we've heard of the pizza. What a lovely reveal of the pizza. That's the last dish I imagined them eating on a Malaysian beach. That is not what I thought what they were having we're so far away from the point where he said my hither two hands that aren't covered in shit

we're so far away from that he did not need to forewarn that he's lulling us away again so that we can't claim he's just surprising us at the end I should have remembered we're more surprised by the reveal of pizza than shit at this point. That has knocked me for six.

I'm appalled. Cheese on a beach. I can't get over it. After I finished my pizza, terrible, I excused myself and flip-flopped over the sand to the bar's toilet facilities, a four-walls-no-roof setup for what I thought was just a number one. I faced the wall over the drain, A four walls, no roof setup for what I thought was just a number one. I faced the wall over the drain and with an airy, tipsy, holidaymakers, carefree feeling in my heart, I started to pee.

This too was going exceedingly well until I needed to fart. No big deal, I thought. I'd farted before. This was small potatoes. I farted in my sleep my pants were shat straight to the point what we're learning here is that narratively mike is the master of this very sort of sudden like mise en scene like we're there we're there is that right what does it mean?

In media res? Is that what I mean? I don't know. It's delicious. Gorgeous. Starling, it's already going on. I loved it. A close-up on my face would have shown bliss turned to terror. My eyes would have widened.

My ears dropped. My cheeks paled. All in an instant. At the same instant, I heard the ribbit of a previously unnoticed frog right by my foot. The ribbit seemed to say,'ve just shipped yourself mate my options were limited so i did what anyone would have done and i decided i absolutely had to just pretend to be somebody else wait he's in the bathroom he could just wipe his we don't we don't know what the damage is no it's a drain with a little screen around it it's it's it's hot level toiletries scenario sorry so it. It's hut-level toiletry scenario.

Oh, sorry. So he says, I did what anyone would have done and decided I absolutely had to pretend to be someone else. He just comes up with a moustache and a hat. With the shit. Mmm. Oh, Puerh! Classic from Puerh, Nivelle Poo there.

Look, desperate times, you know. I mustered up all the confidence I could and marched out of the toilets, straight past my restaurant table, completely ignoring my smiling companions. Just completely ignoring my smiling companions like a stinky Mrs Doubtfire.

Oh, he's got shit on him, right. He's all in his pants. I left the restaurant as I picked up speed and made haste to my hut for operation clean-up. In my hut, I disrobed and turned on the shower. I was delighted to discover that these huts were fitted with bum guns. Oh, lovely. Standing naked, like a crab.

I really want him to mean, like, not the position, just, like, that crabs don't wear clothes, yeah. I was as naked as the crab. I lifted the bum gun off its holder, only to find that the trigger on this one had been broken off. Undeterred, I thought, just unscrew the gun head from the hose it's attached to. In doing so, the apparatus turned from a silent obedient

sanitation device to the violent laser-like fireman's hose i was now faced with like a surgical small stream of water flapping around the jets of water they used to cut metal sheets yeah i steeled myself and slowly brought the head of this industrial water jet cutter around to my waiting disaster area. Like he's James Bond and he's bringing me... It's travelling up a table. Struggling to control it, the first contact between water and flesh was of course a direct hit on the back of my ball sack. Again, forgot that the balls were there. Like a crab.

Another lovely reveal. Like a crab. Yeah. He's had balls this whole time. Oh, my God, Michael. And they've been sweaty, remember, since the beginning. Oh, so sweaty. That must have been also quite nice for an element of it

to just sort of cool those balls down, Michael. So this industrial water jet has got a direct hit on the back of the nutties. And he says, It resembled and certainly felt like one of those things you punch as hard as you can in arcades i'm picturing the ball bag immediately flipping horizontal with force like that the three minutes i spent curled up on the floor was enough time for me to realize it might be an idea to keep my thumb over the end of the hose to create an

unpredictable but far more gentle spray for the rest of the cleanup what an engineer necessity is the mother of invention well he's thinking he's thinking it's like in um one of those scenes where jason bourne's been shot and he has to stumble into a bathroom and sort of fix himself yeah and his balls go up and he accidentally smacks his own nads with medical equipment. Industrial hose. Fifteen minutes later, with new clothes and wet hair, I rejoined my two very confused friends and tried to pass my mid-meal shower off as a new-age palate cleanser that they should try sometime. Classic Irish.

That's good. Like an Irish thing. Do you know what I find helps between pizza and drinking out of a coconut? It's a wee shower. Is what he would have said. Yeah, and they would sort of go, all right, I can. Like kind of looking at him like, but you ignored our smiling faces and walked straight past us from the toilet.

And also you're covered in shit. You mean apart from the fact you shit yourself. Yeah, because it's just immediately new. I can't do that accent, so that's why I'm not contributing. I've never stopped hers. Phil's got some amazing... Oh, yeah. I think your Geordie is from the most offensive.

What do you mean, man? What are you talking about? Yeah, that is bad. It's the facial expression as well. It's all desperation when you're doing it. It's great. You're talking about... Oh, no! So he says he tried to pass it off as a new age palette cleanser.

They should try some time. I don't think it worked. Love the pod. Praise redacted, Mike. Great. Well, that could have gone a lot worse. Really great. Mike.

Snaps for Mike. That was knockout. I think he did a really good job. I think so, too. Sad that we don't know think he did a really good job. Um, we don't know whether he, he did them, did them both, but you know,

I think if I may speak for Mike, if he had, there's no way he's leaving that out. He's a, he's a master storyteller, you know? Yeah. He would,

he would say, thanks so much. Post-adjected PS. I fucked them both. You know, you know what he would have done. You're right. But he would have put it so much, praise the director. P.S. I fucked them both, you know? You know what he would have done, you're right. But he would have put it so well.

He would have done it as one of those reveals where it shocks us, like the pizza reveal. He would have said, I did later admit to them that I had chatted myself in bed the next morning. Yes, that's it, that's it. Very good. As we ate our boiled peaches. Where is this restaurant? What is this place?

So what's so great about this is that this episode is about how to be a good buddy. I think people, sometimes they don't need tips. They can just buy osmosis. Take what they need. That's what I'm saying is that we've learned a lot from Mike here. And I think what we can do is we can extrapolate those tips ignore people if you're covered in shit i think that's very important amen i guess i guess it raises the question you know if you if you see a buddy a friend

who is let's say metaphorically covered in shit like there's obviously something wrong do you say you're covered in shit or do you leave them to it for a bit do you let them sort it out themselves do you let them wash their balls with those metaphorically speaking yes i think that's a very well you know it's a very well thought of method is to just leave people who are struggling just sort of to deal with it themselves i think that's being the essence of being a good friend i mean that's that's i think that's male friendship down to a t that's that's what i'm revealing here the hardest thing about male friendship is knowing when your friend would be more humiliated by you handling the ball cleaning hose yeah absolutely or whether or not the gift you give them is the

gift of that last little bit of pride yeah Yeah, that's the gift of dignity. Keep. I read this in the other day that was like, think of all the times that you've seen something and then pretended you hadn't seen it to save the person, be it stranger or friend. And I was like, yeah, plenty of times. And then it said, now think how many times you've done something, looked up and no one was looking and you thought i've got away with it and actually how many people have seen and looked away to spare you because the that it's so many for me that i've thought fuck i've got away with that and then actually people are like i saw that woman i saw her well it's also when i think about it's mostly like i've eaten some gluten and it's a harrowing fart. You know, I think it's fine.

And everyone's like, oh, God. But everyone's looking. So I'm like, I think I must have just made that up in my own nose. I think it's absolutely right. Yeah, no one else can smell that. Did you say, I think I made that up in my own nose? Yes. Yeah.

The classic nose falsity. She and Mike are cut from the same narrative cloth, you know. They speak in a similar parlance. Would you consider spending good money on a kind of odour bodyguard, someone whose job is to leap in front of the blame? A dog, just get a dog. You have a dog, yeah. Just get a dog and go, oh, what a shame.

Yeah, always. I once did it on a dance floor at a wedding. It was at the wedding, wasn't it? Yeah wedding wasn't it yeah you were and i remember afterwards and there was a bit there was a lady dancing with a beautiful baby in a little baby outfit and the baby was fast asleep on her shoulder and everyone was like oh my god the baby and then i did this terrible fart and everyone was like the baby and it went what's in that baby like and then everyone was like looking over at the mum and the mum was giving this like yeah isn't my baby lovely face and everyone was like oh doesn't she know that baby and i was like it was me but i didn't say anything i let the baby take

the fall i kind of remember i was dancing close to that baby. And I remember being like, oh, our baby really ruined Valerie. Who's the father? A turd? Jesus. Oh, God. Listen, listen, listen. Tat-a-tat. Tat-a-tat.

It's going very Irish. We've got some tat from Siobhan. Oh, lovely. Let's please. Lovely, Shiv. Siobhan says, hi, just wanted to pass on some driving tat that I spotted yesterday. Great. So tat in a car.

Car tat. It's car tat. Siobhan says, I feel like it would be a tough one for the tat whisperer. So we'll see. So I'm the tat whisperer and I basically try and guess. And please join. Guess how this tat's going to end. So tat is sort of phrases like live, laugh, love.

It's wine o'clock somewhere. Just sort of goofy shit like that keep calm and keep crocheting hats yeah i once saw a bag that said off-duty mermaid what does it mean what does it mean very good so this is printed on the rear of a car it's not within the car okay okay like a bumper sticker vibe sort Sort of, yeah. And it says, and I'm going to sort of blank out the last word of the slogan, if you will, powered by blank. And I will give you these clues. Blank is a compound noun of two words that aren't often together.

It's quite a weird made up word. So if you guess it, I will flip my lid. A compound noun. It's quite a hard one. Could you give an example of a compound noun? Cheese knife. If you stuck it together I will flip my lid. A compound noun. It's quite a hard one. Could you give an example of a compound noun? Cheese knife. If you stuck it together. Cheese knife.

Oh. But in this case, this is a compound noun never before seen? Not by me. Not by you. Never before seen by me. Okay. If it's any help, the font is the Disney font. Ah, that is too much of a clue, if I may.

Powered by princess breath. Ooh. Ooh, okay. Princess power? Fairy dust. Oh, you're so close, Phil. Fairy princess. too much of a clue if i'm if i may powered by princess breath oh okay princess power fairy dust oh you're so close princess uh um joy oil joy oil so i'll give you i'll give you what you've got so far you've it's powered by blank dust phil got it right fairy dust it's something dust fuck dust no that's closer fuck dust is the closest thing if a detective has to find out if someone's had sex in the room he leaves on the floor and sweeps his hand across

the ground he goes fuck dust fuck dust there's a sub-genre of tat, which is quite aggressive and angry and needlessly sweary. Phil and I once were sent a mug that said something like, I'm a taco bitch. And I was just like, what? I'm a taco bitch. It was something like that, yeah. Bitch dust.

Bitch dust. Bitch dust. In the Disney font. Powered by bitch dust. That is incredible. What's bitch dust? I think it's like fuck dust, but on its own, I don't know. Is that the general essence of being a bitch?

Being an unpleasant person. Like an unpleasant person dust. Bitch dust. Powered by bitch dust. It should be like, if it was like bitch fuel, you'd be like, okay, yeah, bitch fuel. We're going somewhere. Bitch dust. We're going nowhere. Like dust. We're going nowhere.

Like, oh, God. I hate it. Magical bitch dust that you're somehow using on your car. Well, you have to turn it into pellets first, and then pellets is the usable form of bitch dust. Biofuel. You're such a bitch, I guess, that you have this dust, and it makes your car somehow more powerful

when you kind of shake your head into the fuel cap. Just like dandruff. It's almost like a bitch just lives in your follicles and you brush it out. Yeah, okay. And Siobhan, as a little bonus says, I didn't get a picture, but the sticker on the other side of the rear windscreen

was a unicorn dabbing. Wow. This person sounds like, if I may say so, this person sounds like an absolute nightmare. Yeah. She sounds, if i may say so this person sounds like an absolute nightmare yeah she sounds if i may the worst woman on the hen do this woman yes i saw someone on there's a on the train there was a hen do and one of the girls just had a ring a silver ring that just said fuck and i really like that because it's just like you're not really saying

anything you're just being like fuck and that's it what more do you need to say i think it's a good good enough place to end on i think if you're listening to this working out like how do i be a good buddy then just listen to siobhan's story don't let people put that stuff on their car actually you know what i'd say the opposite let people put bitch dust on their car just let them and let them live their lives and also don't help them if they got their balls covered in shit i think it's a consistency there there is yeah it's all about establishing just the right amount of closeness of of distance. Yeah, knowing when to jump in, knowing when to leave people to wash their own balls, you know? I think we've actually really got to the nub of it.

Thank you so much. It's been an absolute pleasure to mash up with you. It's been really wonderful. To buddy up with you. Thanks so much, guys. What a pleasure. Thank you, listeners, for being here. And if you want to donate to C Comic Relief, please consider doing so. This Red Nose Day,

your donation will help people here in the UK and around the world live free from poverty, violence, discrimination, and support them with their mental health. This includes helping people right now in Ukraine and the mass displacement of people in many parts of the world. Head to comicrelief.com slash podcast mashup

to give what you can now. And to donate £10, text the word podcast 270210. Text costs your donation amount plus your standard network message charge and 100% of your donation will go to Comic Relief, a registered charity. But remember, you must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payers permission.

For full terms and conditions visit comicrelief.com slash podcast mashup i love terms and conditions i'm gonna go and read those now tc that's my initials i love them baby yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah