BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2E39 | Camp Bigfoot

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Youtube Version available here!This week the buds discuss RL Stine, the harrowing British press, living in reverse, 'Commando' comics and Glenn’s day with the paparazzi.Email or Dm us your correspondence to [e-mail] or @budpodofficial on Instagram. KOJI!Stream Glenn's tour show 'Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore' on Sky Comedy and NowTVPierre is on tour across the UK, Ireland and Netherlands!Including a headline show at the Leicester Square Theatre on May 28th! Tickets available now at https://www.pierrenovellie.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Bud Pot 39. Ah, sorry, I was just reading some R. L. Stein. It still scares me to this day. Yeah, another mask. What if there was a mask? What if there was a mask in a theme park? What if there was a theme park? What if there was a theme park of masks?

I used to get so frustrated. What if there was some goo? Goo, that was a lot of goo. A lot of goo. Oh, the Hot Hot Camp Jelly Jam. I used to get so frustrated when he wouldn't just fucking double down on the horror and it would end, it was sort of end on a, but not really, sort of note. And you go, no, I'm like.

And then, Susie woke up and her parents weren't made of goo. Yeah, and you're like, I'm reading the book, aren't I? I'm ready for this. I picked up the book with the horrible yellow eyes on it. Yeah, you don't appeal to the wimps who aren't reading this book in the first place. You know, those losers. Oh, man, I'm so dangerously close to getting arthritis on our seven years old because of how naled my fingers would be. Choose your own adventures, just with an inability to commit.

Even from the first decision. Trying to fucking Doctor Strange your way through all the different timelines. Yeah, there'd be one like set in a museum, and if you go down one portal, you'll end up on like a spaceship. And if you go down another, you'll end up on like a medieval countryside. And it was like, I'd even have my fingers there. And you'd go, just start the fucking book again, Glenn. Like, if you don't like a decision to start again. Yeah.

I bought one in lockdown. Did you? A complete just impulse purchase because I was like, I suddenly just had this real moment of, oh God, yeah, my I-I-I-Stone, so many Aral Stein books. And I was trying to remember the names of all of them

and remember all the storylines. The idea of someone reading Aral Stein on Kindles. Really funny. Really funny to me. Really pathetic. But I went on Amazon and I was like, I wonder how much it would be. And if he's still going,

he's still just as prolific. I don't know what they're possibly about now. Because he covered all the bases. Literally the first one was, he covered ghosts in book one. What if a care home was full of masks? Yeah, and he'd done spooky cameras by book two, which was say cheese and die. I guess not spooky iPhones. Yeah, he has had to update it.

Because isn't it like, I wonder if R.L. Stein started as a kind of ghost writer convention thing, or if it was a real guy and then he just started farming it out. Because multiple people. No. It has to be. There's like a thousand of those fucking things. Oh, well, let me tell you. when I bought one in lockdown.

And I remember from... Because the Choose Your Own Adventures was so much better and so much more exciting. And I remember the first one I had, I think is the first in this series and it's about going to like a haunted carnival. Of course.

Yes. Carnival comes up so frequently in these books. They were so fucking alienating to English kids. They're sitting there going, is there some sort of event full of masks? Yeah. Is there a way they could, perhaps a masqueray? And he couldn't do like

Eyes Wide Shut sex parties No, no, no Those weren't the spooky things Yeah You were glad the masks were there Things that go boo at the sex party I just got a hologram If you turn it around

The skeleton's got dick That's yeah That ladies made of goo Oh no No, sorry Sorry to interrupt Yeah, yeah Sorry to interrupt

Enjoy I Step on me the mummy A mummy on these tightly wrapped in bandages as part of a different thing You want to suck my wife So I

I just thought I remember this carnival one as being like this I could visual I had like the layout Even to this day of that amusement park in my head Yeah And how rich in detail it seemed And so ordered it

Yeah And genuinely, those choose your own adventures are like about 30 pages. And it's genuinely like, chapter one, you're staying with your grandparents and they really suck. And you're so bored. Then one day they suggest you go to the carnival. So you arrive at the carnival, but it's spooky. What happens? Turn to page 82, you died.

And it's like, turn to page 48. And it's like, there's fucking nothing here. There's nothing here. He just trusts that kids know how to fill in the gaps, which is exactly what I'd done. The book gives you nothing. So it was like a complete, like, imagination chamber, just blank. There may as well be blank pages.

That's so funny. That's the spookiest part of all. A book of blank pages for kids to stare at. Yeah, and I'm surprised I didn't find that more infuriating as a kid. Yeah. I cannot imagine how fucked off I'd have been. If as a kid I'd gone to that zoo exhibit, bit that promises the scariest animal of all and it's a mirror.

Yeah. I'd be like, fuck off. It isn't me, is it? It isn't me because guerrillas are scarier. Yeah. I can't pull off my own head. Yeah. A gorilla could pull off my head.

They'd say, yeah, like, you think you're a smart kid. Well, you know, humans, they could murder you. And there's also there's humans out there who'd want to do horrible sexual stuff to you. And you go, the gorilla will also, the gorilla really does cover all the same. basis, you know. I can't emphasize enough, on a one-to-one basis. Unless this is about pollution. If it's about pollution, then, yeah, I guess the gorilla drives fewer cars. Maybe a lot of R.l Stein still was metaphorical and we just didn't pick up on it. These really clever, deep, deep, Jeep writer.

Why does everyone say my books, each day he's even waterstones moving the stuff in the kids' sections? Why do they keep putting it in the kids' section? Modern philosophy. Yeah, it's travel. We all wear masks. Travel and giving them carnival tips. Do you think R. L. Stein was really furious he didn't come up with the mask. Yeah. It's right there. Cut away all the bullshit.

Get rid of the carnival. Get rid of the... A really funny prank to play... Just a mask on its own made of wood. A really funny prank to play at the zoo would be to working up the exact dimensions of that mirror and replacing it for one day

with a picture of just a horse. I guess it is dangerous. To get on? Yeah. Most dangerous animal of all. Dangerous animals of the nature of all. As a kid, I was very confused by the most dangerous game of all. Because when they say the most dangerous game of all, man.

Yeah. They mean game as in hunting game. Yes. So they mean game as in venison. Yes, as opposed to, like mousetrap. Exactly, yeah, as opposed to chess. Because as I'd be like, how's man a kid? I'd be like, how's a man a game?

Yeah. It just didn't occur to me. To understand that properly. No. That's a sneaky little trap. My parents had this huge, really ugly, really ugly painting. But I think if actually I said to them, consider that for a moment and why you have it up.

They go, oh yeah, sorry, my grandparents brought me that for 40 years ago, and I've always hated it. Try and look at it for the first time. Yes. Yeah. Because it's these two really misshapen. It's almost like a carving. These two really misshapen golfers.

What? Not a golfing family. And it says golf, the magnificent game. of skill. But the S is so weirdly written and so weirdly moved away from the rest of the word. But I only realized when

until, I realized maybe four years ago, but it said skill. And not kill. And I thought it was the magnificent game of a kill. And I was like, golf! Golf! Hang on. So, just to recap here. Not a golfing family. No. But you're okay

with that. I'm okay with it. But what I'm not okay with is, being not a golfing family and having an enormous picture of two lumpy golfers. But it sounds like a poster. It's endorsing the game of golf. Yes, it's very strange, but not a particular, but just the concept of golf. It's not like... Is it supposed to look like one of those posters from the 20s, where it's like very simple,

kind of simplified print almost? Yes, but it's like 3D. What? It's like carved. The guy, you could like reach out and touch the guys. What? I know. What?

I know. This is like a haunted object. But my family have, my parents. have, like, lovely stuff hanging up in their house, and it's really nice to look at. But Katie's always absolutely baffled. And over there, in the living room, they've got this lovely painting of, like,

some Italian plaza or whatever. And Katie was like, oh, wow, where's that? And my parents were like, well, I don't know. And Kate just couldn't get a head round the idea that you'd have a picture of somewhere. A picture of somewhere. That's less weird than not playing golf and having a huge carved golf endorsement.

That's got to be revisited. Yes. I'll try and get some pictures next time I go. In the meantime, did you have a favourite, R.R. Stein? Did you have a favorite... Probably the one about masks. I'm not really sure. There's like so many about masks.

Was it the Hors of a Haunted Mask or something? Yeah, which is already you want to say to him, you're doubling up there. Just say Curse of the Mask or the Haunted Mask. Curse of the Haunted Mask is already too many. I know I've already got that. Spooky things. I've sent you the most recent release. Oh, thank you so much.

Here we go. Two days ago. Fuck, he's so prolific. And the one before that was the previous day. House of Shivers one night at Camp Bigfoot. And there's a big, okay, I'm going to describe this cover, which looks, I'm going to say, AI generated. It's a big, angry Bigfoot. Yeah.

It's Bigfoot. He's holding a stick upon which are speared two flaming marshmallows. In the background. That's so toothless. It's pathetic. He's going to come and take my marshmallows. Well, my... I'm worried that Bigfoot's going to come and take my virginity.

That's what I'm afraid of. That's all the book you about. Yeah. Firstly, let me teach you what sex is, and then why you should fear it. Give me those marshmallows. And then in the background is like a log cabin with a kind of comedy, bigfoot-shaped hole in it.

Like he's burst out like Wiley Coyote. So immediately you go, maybe he was asked to dial it back, or the ass was asked to dial it back, because certainly like to say cheese and die ones. They would always have skeletons. Yeah. Picture skeletons.

And skeletons would never feature in the books because death didn't feature. One night at Camp Bigfoot, House of Shivers, sounds like one of those animal fucking romance novels that you get. That, like, do really well only on digital because no one wants to be seen holding the cover. Yes. This is a book about a lady who is like a forest ranger who is not only finds Bigfoot,

but is seduced by him and his simple ways. his simple what you would want what appeals to people is you make sure that Bigfoot's really big and musly and frightening but then make him very like gentle like he's got a pet mouse

So Jacob Allaudie in Wuthering Heights That's the winning combo A gentle brute Wins people over Yeah And also in all the books The reason it needs to be like Whatever a Minotaur

Like the wanking off Minotaur's farm That was like a bestseller You go to a farm Wankoff Minotaur's, you know, literature. Of course. It's a combination of power and restraint, I think. And also, they need to be an animal so that their desires are simplified and not as disruptive to your own imaginary.

Yes, yeah. Your own imagination, because you go, oh, yes, it's a big foot to simply desires a combination of sex and fruit. So if Harry from Harry and the Hedisons was just abnormally horny. And that's why John Lithgow had to put him in the woods. He had to leave Because he went through Bigfoot Puberty He was actually a young

It's like when people get paint alligators And they get really big And they go oh shit I didn't think they'd get this big Looking through this list Even just the classic goosebumps I had the first 50 books I remember reading up to and including

Calling All Creeps Calling All Creeps Which was his 50s The mystery of Epstein Islands Yeah a lot of these of other connotations By R. L.S. Attack of the Jacko Land Or jack off lanterns.

Yep. Say cheese and die. Again, egg monsters from Mars. Bad Hair Day. Egg monsters from Mars. What was it? My hairiest adventure. Okay.

Yeah. Come on. Oh. Go eat worms. Grow up. I know. That's why the best ones were the... The horrible ones.

Choose your own scares. Choose your... Sorry, give yourself goosebumps. Escape from the carnival of horrors. That's one I got. There you go. That was good. TikTok, you're dead, you were trapped in a...

Clock? Yeah, trapped in Batwing Hall. That was, like, you're in some after-school club in it. It turns out they're all vampires. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. If only you had a clue from the name Batwing Hall. Beware of the Purple Peanut Butter. Under the Magician Spell, these were all good ones.

They're all threatening. They're all threatening, but they never died. Whereas, I don't know if I've mentioned this on the pod before, my mum used to get me and my sister Janelle these like knock-off goosebumps, but it's called shivers. Yes, you've mentioned these, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it was like brutal murders. Oh, it's fantastic.

So some publisher went, this guy's a fucking coward. Yeah. What kids need is trauma. Yeah. It was like they were actually vile. And because it was like no, they were like,

they looked like pulp fiction as well, like really like Staple together. Intensely black, shiny covers. Visible staples. Looking back, I don't think they were for children. Have you ever heard of these

like detective comics? No. If you go back to like the 30s, through to maybe the 50s. Detective comics were, or detective books, those are those ones where it's like an incredibly busty, basically naked woman being

tied up by like a guy in a mask with like a hammer. Oh. And you're like, oh, it's kind of like pin up porn, but with a kind of everyone's always being tied up or threatened or kidnapped. So it's like what of authors one very specific fetish? Well, this is the thing is that it's mentioned in loads of stuff

about serial killers that like pretty much every serial killer you ever heard of like was obsessed with these detective comics or detective books and had a big collection of them to the point where it was included in the criteria for the FBI, they were like, loves these fucking things. Oh, geez.

Yeah, I can see why. Yeah, how freaky is that? The any comic books I ever got given as a kid. M.D. Spencer wrote shivers. N.D. That name would never ever have... George R.R. Martin, kind of fucking J.R. Tolkien. Well, R. L. Stein. Tell me a name. But that's what I mean.

I remember asking my dad, what does the R stand for? Yeah. And my dad obviously... Really spooky. That's it. He did like, like wiggled his fingers and just stared at me for like five seconds and went, it's probably like Robert. It's obviously like nothing came to mind.

Is it Robert? No one knows. Yeah. Rugly doggily doggily. The only comic book I ever read apart from fucking The Dandy and my sister used to read The Beano. My mum used to read Ur-Willy and the Bruins. Yes, yeah, yeah. But my dad used to occasionally.

by me Commando. Yeah! Which was so racist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Insane. Insane. Insane.

But they were making like newer ones or at a very least reprinting old ones and it was like Everyone always goes Aie! Yes.

And dies on a point of a bayonet. So you've got, oh, okay, that's good. We can bond over this because I also had completely... We can bond. Because I also was exposed to...

Yeah, finally we've broken the ice. Yeah, finally. Completely out of date fucking colonial minded media. I mean, I read Biggles as a kid. Biggles. Fucking hell.

Which is into war. Biggles is humiliating name. Biggles was like a bit Tui in 1939. Yeah. They run out of stuff for him to do. They has to go fly a plane around Africa for six safaris and things because it's like, well, there's no one. Yeah, he's fine.

You can't keep killing Germans. Yeah. Wouldn't make any sense. Yeah, they're now innocence. Yeah. Your mama's a werewolf. That's her shivers. Shivers, I don't remember your mom as a werewolf.

Remember one about a cider farm. See if there's an apple-based one. Shivers series published between 96 and 98. That is a short run. And there were fucking tons. Wow. That seems weird. There's 36 of them.

36 in two years. That's like the best of the Beatles. We could fart out a lot of fucking scary. Budpods, boogly-oogly-o-o-o-books. Boogly, ugly, mudpot books. And then... Boogly, ugly, yeah. And then the kids...

I think it's a bit too boogly for me. It's a bit too boogly, ugly. Boogly, I don't mind for the kids. Ugly, I do... There'd be a big scandal because the kids would look up Budpot and listen to us talking about pulling your own dick and shitting.

Yeah. What was it? You know, when people go... When it comes to horror and people, like, I'm fine, just anything fingernails or anything, I can't, you know. It's like, if there was someone who's like, yeah, boogly sounds good.

I just, I'm really bad with... Bonar stuff. Yeah, anything bonerific. The awful Apple orchard. That's the one. Yeah, they get caught like a threshing machine. Daniel and Sarah vacation at an apple orchard haunted by ghosts. So it seems pretty cut and dry.

Cover yours, you don't want any spoilers. But at the end, they realize that they've been dead for years. They're trying to, it's like a haunted apple orchid. And they're the ghosts. And it turns out they're the one's haunting it because they go into the apple orchard and there's police tape all round it. And it's been derelict for ages. And they were like, oh yeah, we've been, we were caught so bad.

badly in the apple chopping machine. They were like, yeah, you can still see my jeans and stuff of that. And then they start joking about it. Oh.

And they're like, oh, so I guess we're ghosts, it's fine. Mad. How did that affect you as a child? I think I was sad that they were dead.

Yeah, I was a bit sad. There was one set in a wax museum where I think it was yeah, people were, obviously like, encased in wax

and those were like dead bodies or whatever. Oh, God. Yeah, it was quite, I can see why he's only ran for two years. I'm trying to find the wax museum

one. Joey's Babyface and the killer mob. That's funny. Joey's wish to become a mobster comes true when he wakes up in the body of a gangster named Babyface. Night of the goat boy. Don't remember that one.

That's a great name. That would be a great fringe show name. Yeah. Night of the goat boy. Ghosts of Devil's Marsh. You just think you've really got the devil in there. Don't add ghosts. The only...

It doesn't really count as a comic book. It's more of a magazine thing. I found it's absolutely stunning. Samantha's past is likely to haunt her when she joins her dad's family. She's fed up with the taunts and whispers of Nana. Quote, don't break a dead's heart. I don't like the idea of calling yourself a dead. I'm a dead.

You are alive. I'm a dead. Yeah. A hyphen life. You're alive. I'm a dead. I'm a dead. One of the books is called

One of the books is called One Foot in the Grave I remember that I didn't believe you It's just a script from the show My This is such a surreal job One of my parents to have had Beware the Bog Girl

Remember Where The Bog Girl I do remember that one That one came out a couple of years ago I queued up overnight Aware the Bog Girl I queued up overnight At foils They didn't stock it

It'd be a really devastating thing to say to any lady, you know. They just, I don't know, just go, to wear the bog girl. Well,

why am I the bog girl? All right, you take care, but where the bog girl. I, my mom, when she was a, like a teenager,

the first job, was in a teen magazine called My Guy would do these like photo case books of like, I think he's seeing

someone else behind my back. Yeah. And it was like pictures of my mum like on the phone and then a thought bubble or a speech ball coming out being like I think George is being mean or something you know that sort of thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but then what it was really difficult for her to explain it to people in the UK

it might have been in the UK it's happened but it's difficult to explain it years later because the only photo case book you ever got was Deirdre's photo case book in the Sun which was dear Deirdre where it would be an exclusively naked couple yeah yeah yeah and what was worse the son also had a comic strip called George and Lynn and Lynn's my mum's name and that was about an entirely naked couple. What? So my mum had to be like, cannot stress enough. It was just me.

As a teenager being like, I think he's kissed Becky. Yeah, yeah. I thought my mom had a much weirder job. Why were people who read the son so horny? Well, I... They were so horny that they were like, we need this in the paper. I can't go buy a different magazine. And not any of that, but like in the first few pages.

I need to see it immediately. Well, I remember my parents, a lot of my mum's friends, Remember they were complaining once and finding it really funny because they were complaining that annoyingly, if you read The Sun, the most interesting story,

it's never an important story, but the most interesting story. The sort of story would make the Metro front page. The Metro never leads with the top story. The most interesting story is next to the page three column. It's nothing to do of page three, but it's next to page three.

So they're like, well, you look like you're staring at page three on the bus. You look like a pervert. But yeah, and the son would have all its politics on page two. And then all,

because my, This is mad. My parents would buy me the sun every day from when I was like, I must have been like seven, eight. They just thought the boy needs to know about boobs. Well, they were like, it is for people with that reading age. And it's good for you to know what's going on in the world. And it's the most easy to read newspaper. Yeah.

So I'd like read the sun every day when I got home. It's amazing how civilized you are. I think this is okay to admit. It made me so immune to boobs because I just saw them as the news. You're reacting. to naked breasts is this reaction I have to seeing CNN on in a hotel room. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, yeah. You've been vaccinated against breasts. It was so weird because it was just such a big part of my life and, I guess, knowledge gaining of the world and current events. You just associate the thing that all other teenage boys covered with, like, finding out who George H.W. Bush is. Yeah, look, it's a really weird thing to let your kid read, looking back. I guess, but like, you think it's normal because it's like, well, if it wasn't normal, why would it be in every single shop?

Yes. So it must be fine. Yeah. Because we're hardly unendorsing it. Yeah, and if anyone's, oh, the sun's, you know, obviously the sun is a horrible newspaper. Yeah. But I guess at the time, at least would have been politically moderate because it was so. it was so labor.

Kind of. Well, it was only labor towards the end. I mean, it's interesting to look back at the columnists in the sun, even in the 90s, would have like levels of homophobia that genuinely you'd be shocked if you look back and it'd just be like, oh, they all deserve AIDS because it's what they get for being gay and stuff. Like that's in the sun in like 1996. Oh, I mean, I... You should remember reading that.

I remember... It's amazing that you are a dameanian. I remember an article in the sun that said, Stephen. And John Gerard had been voted as a gay icon and it said, is it because he's got a face like an ass? That was in the news. That was in the news. Fucking out. Imagine if Trevor McDonald had said that.

In between bombs. Right in between the bombs. It was so much of that newspaper stuff was so comically meaningless. But that's why like the British press for years had a reputation in America as being like the bully you till you kill yourself. lunatic press, like no restraints. Oh man, I mean, I did... Americans would be like, oh yeah, sure, we brought down Nixon, but you guys are like

rabid dogs, and you think, yeah, that's kind of gone now. Well, they have the opposite, so basically, because we've got the PCC, the Press Commission, it's going to be sound so boring. The PCC of the Press Com Complaints Commission is like the off-com, it's like off-com for newspapers, and it's really, really toothless, whereas off-com's really, really strict.

Yeah. Which is why Fox News is fucking mental. You couldn't get something like that on a news channel in the UK. Obviously, there's GB News, but it doesn't count as news because it's an entertainment channel. But that's why, and then America, the papers are a lot more restricted. Which is why, with the exception of the New York Post, the New York Times isn't like that politically... They're so restrained. It's a hell of a lot more restraint because the laws of the complete opposite way around.

That's interesting. Yeah, that's... So I found that the stuff in the... So I did work experience at the News of the World. Yeah. And it got cut short with it closing. Yeah, because of all the... Lawbreaking. Yeah.

My, I was meant to do a week-long work experience placement, and it lasted four days. And it was crazy. They made me, on each day I was put on with like a different person in a different department. This is the blackmail desk.

I spent a day with the paparazzi. Whoa. Yeah. What are they like? Really normal guy. Yeah. Which makes sense. And of course they can't permanently be like,

let's have a look at that. You know, yeah. It's just a really normal, just like, let's just get the job done. And it was a guy turned up. He drove me to, what happened was a Somalian refugee family had been put up in a house in like Notting Hill. Sure. This is such a Sun News of the World story. And they complained that it was too small.

And the house was like insanely lavish. Sure. So this was just one crazy guy who'd complained. and so this was an opportunity for the newspapers to be, isn't this everyone who comes here? And so they were, it was just a huge paparazzi outside the home to try and get a picture of the guy.

Yeah. And see if they came outside. And so we spent eight hours outside the house with like 10 other photographers and they were just making small talk. It was just a lot of guys in their 50s basically. Hanging out. All just hanging out, just waiting.

And every time there was like a little switch of the curtain, click, click, click, click, click. If men could just be friends, all these industries wouldn't have to exist. Then will literally stand outside, a migrant family, home instead of seeing a therapist. It's the only way you can hang out with the boys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's it. Guys need an activity where they can face the same direction and not be looking to each other. That's what FIFA's for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so actually, that's what the paparazzi thing was for. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the guy I went out with, he'd just been on like, he was telling me about his previous story. He'd been like Raimaud. He'd, like, watched Raimot blow his face off. It was just crazy. It was just a different world. Jesus, man. It was just a different world.

That's gone now. tank. Yeah, well, we used to be a proper country. Now everyone's got their phones. Yeah, yeah. They film the deaths. No one makes any bloody money from it. But it was, yeah, it was crazy that existed as a job.

Highly recommend to listeners, talking of Raoul Mote. The book, You Are Raoul Mote? Or it's genuinely, it's excellent. It's Rao, Rao, Rao your Mote gently down the stream, is the name of the book. So, the book is by Andrew Hankinson. And it's, you could do something amazing with your life.

Square brackets, you are Raul Moat. What? Close square brackets. It's excellent. The author went up to Newcastle and did something like two years of research into Raoulmote. Before he went crazy. No, after. In fact, that's actually what drove him over the edge.

He's got on sleeping. Is guys just, I don't, like, I'm no one. So it's asking me question, leave me alone? No. He was interviewing like Raoul Moat's. Apparently you met Gazel once. Interviewed like Raul Mo's mum, like all his friends, like really tried to piece together that sort of three or four day period of madness.

And that's what the book is. But the book is written in the second person, which almost no books are. Right, okay. So the book is written and then you do this because you are hungry. Right, okay. Like it's the book is talking to you. Brackett, didn't you? Yeah, because you are Roel Mode.

Yeah, that's the whole point of the book. It's great. It's excellent. And it's an excellent piece of investigative journalism written up as a weird second person book. because it is incredibly detailed and you learn a lot about what happened. I recommend it. I'd like to see more celebrity autobiographies

written in the second person to make more people turn into paranoid schizzergerly. And then you won the masters. Yes, yeah. You are Tiger Woods. Yes, a really asinine sporting autobiography. Martin Johnson or something like that. I will say as well, Andrew Hankinson also wrote

don't applaud either laugh or don't at the comedy cellar which is a history of the comedy seller written in reverse interesting okay so it's in reverse chronological order it's a very good book about the New York stand-up comedy venue the comedy cellar

so very interesting main shout out would you like to live your life in reverse Benjamin Button yeah no I mean every single action in reverse poo flying into my bum violently into your bum yeah you're going

I'd go into the bathroom I've got an appointment in, I'm going to miss that turn otherwise. It's going to shoot upwards and crash into the ceiling. It's going to smack it to the ceiling. Like, we used to get like, wet l'o roll at school. It's going to fly up like a lantern tree. I don't like the idea of having to meet it where it's at. I don't like having to go.

Yes. Like those TikTok and Instagram videos where someone's like dancing on a trampoline trying to like reach where the hand signal. Yeah. And if I get it wrong. by even a centimeter then it just slams into my ass.

It's like, don't fucking land a camera on an asteroid. It's so hard. It's so difficult. Treading the needle every time. The hardest one would be trying to get the piss back in. What height was my day? What was the angle? It's just getting all over you.

Living, hell. It would be comparatively simple to throw food up back onto a plate. but then the hassle would be after vomiting. Yeah, but you'd vomit mouthfuls onto a fork. Yeah, but then preparing it all perfectly, all to put in the fridge so that you can then put it in a carryback and take it back to Tesco. And it's not as funny in the same way that like...

Well, packing's come home from a holiday. It's very fun as it. But they'd pay you for it. Oh, you would get paid. That's good. And you go, yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad I met that. Sorry, I'm late.

That would be people rush... That's why people would be rushing to the bathroom. To me. A load of shit and piss. In order to not create a mess. The terror you'd feel sitting down. The worst. The worst.

Because I... Getting a piece of shitty paper out of the lumen rubbing it on your arm. Why have you... Catch it in your hand as well. Why have you put this? in my head, this idea. I didn't want to think this, and now I am. Well, thanks. Tell me about the comedy

seller's history in reverse. You did this. I did. But also, it would be a nightmare as well, because I guess do you know in advance? The turd. How do you know, yeah? Yeah, because I guess you go, oh, I know to go to my own bathroom and my own house.

But what about those times people have had to hurriedly stop on the hard shoulder of a motorway? Would you be trying to? And you're like, Oh, no, no, no, no. You go, I have to go drive to meet the poo. Yeah. On the side of the road.

Yeah, which looks very dodgy indeed. But you're walking through the brush to try and find it on the floor. Yeah, for God's sake. Suck it up with your butt. And then seeing the absolute state of it on the floor and going, I've got to have that. Okay, fine. But it wouldn't be dirty. I get it into my veins.

I hate this world. You know what? I don't want to. I say no. Well, okay, fine. Then it ends with you clambering desperately back into your mother. Screaming. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It starts with you bursting out of a coffin. Yeah. It is so much worse this way. And I don't know why. It's much worse. It's actually no upside. There's no silver lining to this proposal. Benjamin Button would have been such a horror film

if they'd really gone all out. Brad Pitt wouldn't have agreed. Wow. Not so much Benjamin Button. I have to suck the poop into my butt on it. Yes, Mr. Pitt. More the Christopher Nolan film. Where like...

Oh. Fucking... Tenet. He's fighting forwards and he's being forward with someone who's fighting backwards. And that guy afterwards must have been like, I need to go to the bath. Shit.

Yeah. Like, I went to a buff to him. It's a huge... That's mine. I'll collect it in a second. You have to do it. it. Otherwise, the timelines get misaligned. I don't want to. How do I...

Do you know what the worst thing would be, the dread of sitting down and hearing the rumbling of the flush and going, oh, it's coming, it's time? As you hear rumbling along the tubes, like when the metal dog gets flushed in Wallace and Grom, a close shave and he's clanking through all the bones. Yeah, they never

addressed that in Tenet. They should have all been covered in Piss. Because Piss would be flying out of a loo in a line, and you'd have to desperately try and stand at the right angle. Whanking would be so hot. Because it would go into you and you'd have to jet yourself off just to calm down.

It would go into and you'd have to do that for another. Yeah, yeah. Let's get off this. This is horrifying. This is a proper horror. This would be a good, like, A-24 horror film. Yeah. One man who has to live like this. It's called Splat or something like that.

But like two T. So you go, is that an order? Or like reversi. Reverso. Reverso. Reverso. Yeah, reversal. Reversal. Reversal.

It's called reversal. One man has to live his life in reverse. Yeah. And then the thing, the horror, it would be funny until he realizes he has to find a dead body and pull a knife out of it. And it's because he murdered someone. Interesting. Here you go. Yeah.

Now we're getting funding. But then he'd be like so horrified. He'd be like, I'm going to be sick and he has to go down his hands and knees to move for it up from the floor. God. No. This is. Oh, yuck. Tomorrow's fish and chips.

Oh, man. Well, yesterday? Oh, I don't know. Very difficult meeting with the people who want to invest in the film. Could you cut out the part where the poop flies in his breath? No, I knew you were going to say that. I have a vision. Yeah.

You're nudging all the people you've gone with. I said in the lift, didn't I? I bet this meetings about all the poop flying in butt scenes. Now, if you've excuse me, I've got a very important meeting with a shit. It's based on my life. My truth. All of this happened to me. And it's going to happen to me.

Because it's already happened to me. Let's do some correspondence talking of... Oh, please. Talking of... ...talking of... Flying Pooh. Mail, letter, post, message, email, notes, text, dispatches, SMS, and randoms. Correspondence.

This is from Stu. Hey, Stu? Dear Glenn and Pierre, traditional, I like it. Yeah. I was just listening to the most recent episode of Budpot in your discussion about with and and on movie credits reminded me of the... Mark Strong But game.

Oh, this is a Mark Commode thing, I think. Hmm. Is it? I think it's even Mark Commode or... Oh, he says. In the interest of all disclosure, I should preface this by saying

it's a bit from the Kerr Mode and Mayo show. Kerrmode is a mank surname. Is it? Only from the Is it? Only from the island. Hmm. Mark Kerrmode's grandfather was from the island, I think. I got mentioned on the show.

Did you? A couple of years ago. Bleu my mind. Simon Mayo came to see my show. Oh. It wasn't because there's this guy who keeps sending us scripts about poo flying in bums. No, but it's a comedy promoter. I heard you mentioned on the Mark Remod and Simon Mayer show,

and it was like, the dread I felt of like, well, that can't be good. Yeah, yeah. That can't be good. It can't be nice. Okay, so the game is... It's a good fun game. The game involves thinking of a cast list that would benefit from with a butt category at the end. Yeah, so basically, you're sort of like advertising the film,

and you'd be sort of like... So seven, you'd be like starring Brad Pitt and more. Morgan Freeman, but Kevin Spacey. Okay. To be fair, I... I see. Okay, so it's like... However, Gwyneth Poutro. Hmm.

Yes. How would that work for... It's difficult with films like The Bride, which we talked about, where it's shit because of what the film is. Yes, no issues with the actual past. You cannot deny Jesse Buckley and Christian Bale. They're fine, they're sorted.

I don't know about the rest of the cast beyond that. The rest of the cast is all other... It's like two Oscar winners and two nominees and stuff. Like it's through the roof the cast. There is a pathetic part of me that when a modern day film is in black and white, I'm like, can we not? It's not in black and white. Is it not? Maybe bits of it are, but no, it's not.

It's just the trailer in black and white? No, I don't think so. I mean, it's quite washed out. Wow! Yeah? I thought it was fully in black and white. Really? Oh, maybe there's something wrong on my television.

There's something wrong on my television Well, you don't like paying that extra 20 quid on the license fee, do you? I know, and the thing is I only watch Shinders' list So there's no way of knowing I have to fast forward to the red coat scene To be like, is there anything there? Make sure your TV license is appropriate Yeah, yeah

God, you know you used to be able to do that Do you what? Only pay for a black and white TV license It was cheaper. Oh, man. Up till recently. I guess if you're into like Whatever films are in The Guardian's top three movies of the year

then you're fine. Fine, yeah, yeah, you may as well, yeah. How mad is that, though? It makes sense. Does it? Yeah, because you'd be like, go on. Let's see who people are willing to pay extra... People are willing to pay for something we don't want if they think it's a bargain.

Yeah, but I... So I think if there are people who are like, I'll outright refuse to pay my fee, and you go, well, it would be cheaper if you got black and white and I go, do you know what? Yeah, let's see you blinks first. I reckon I can do this. If I was a TV license enforcement person, such as they even exist, I would be most frightened to go check on the houses that claim to be in black and wine.

Also, I would just, every time I knock on the door, just turn the contrast down. But that's what I mean. Yeah. But I mean, the kind of people who have chosen to live that way are the more aggressive

and defiant, frightening people to go have to fucking talk to. Yeah. So I would be like, I don't want to go check on the black and white liars because I know they're lying. And I also don't want to meet the one pensioner left in the borough.

who isn't lying and is therefore living an incredibly depressing life with a black and white tube television that would probably be worth more than a flat screen as an antique at this point. Yeah. I'd love one of those CRT screens. Love them.

Yeah? You'd be able to plug like a PS1 in. I've got a PlayStation 2 and a PlayStation 3 and no use for them. No use. You can't plug them in anywhere. You can't plug them in anywhere. You need to be like those photos you see online

of a guy who's got like 11 adapters in a row to make one piece of tech work on a modern TV. I've asked a few people about this and been like, what adapter do I actually buy? And every single one of them, including our friend Simon Parkin, of my perfect console fame, have all said,

no, don't get an adapter, what you want is you want to get a CRT TV, never, very expensive, I've got, no, da, da, da, da. It's not what I asked.

No. I'm not buying a television. I'm not buying a television. What I need is seven adapters in a row in a way that looks not fire safe. Yes, exactly. That's what I would like, please. You can do it.

So on safe, he plugs may as well be in the bath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You must be able to do it. I mean, I remember... Apparently just looks shit. And I'm like, fine with that. It looked shit in the 90s.

Yeah, it's designed to look shit. It's from the past. A friend of mine at uni managed to figure out how to record something on a, like, a 60s reel-to-reel. Like when you... There's a brutal film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, no, real-to-wheel audio. Right, okay.

Like when the police interview someone when they're investigating pre-Watergate crimes. Yeah. Roswell Roswell type stuff And he figured out how to digitise that So the idea that you can digitise that When I was at university A Shmillion years ago

And you can't play PS1 Without buying a cathode ray TV So I do like replicating all technology I don't have access to Facebook anymore But Facebook messenger You've replicated it by putting Electros of your testicles And zapping them everywhere now

And then I get in touch of Becky from school Looking through photos from primary school And electrocuting your own genitals I, Facebook Messenger VET had like a voice note function you could do and the audio quality was so bad that if you really put your mouth up to the mic on your phone it sounded like every time you've heard

a 911 dispatch call on a documentary I loved it because they just mess your friends 9-1-1-1, what's your emergency? Oh, there's it. Really good fun stuff. Really good fun stuff. Fucking hell, man. The early days.

Oh, yeah. Miss them. Miss them, miss those crimes. The early days of social media. Back when Facebook was just people's walls, there was no communal feed. Awful. Mad. For worse, the worst thing, I can't, for the life of me, work out my MySpace password. No.

And I can't reset it because the email address is my university email address, which has expired many years ago. Oh, no. And it's still, like, visible online. And so there's this, and I haven't updated it since, like, Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy has this. It's a nightmare because everyone... Is yours as horny and embarrassing as Tom Hardy's?

No, mine is no way horny. No way horny because this was me at uni, so this is me desperate to impress. Okay. But at the same time, everyone else, obviously on those deleted. So the only friend I've got is Tom. He has not abandoned me. No. But it looks like he's my best friend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was always funny. When you went on Tom's Facebook wall and every message was like, hey, why did you have me? Hey, nice to me. Who's this? It was just loads of confused people being like, what the fuck is this guy?

Because I guess if you're like, if you were like 24, you'd be like, yeah, this guy seems pretty cool, who's this? Yeah. But I got Myspace when I was like 15 and it was like, well, who's this obvious predator? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a 15-year-old boy. He's coming up to you as a 15-year-old boy saying,

I actually own the place. Yeah. Oh, this is mine. Hang out. I'm your friend. Yeah. He's done that. He lives his best life.

Yeah. He sold Myspace for, well, like, 300 million or something. Just got out. Yeah. Just has this crazed sex done now. in the words. That's, we don't know if that's true. No, no, no, there's no, like, alleged, it's true.

Don't cut that. It's not true. He got out and we'll get out whence we sell Budpod for $300 million. Speaking of which, you can sign up to the Patreon and help us achieve that dream. What if Elon Musk bought us out and then made Budpod really far right?

Hmm. I'm fine with it. Everyone's got a price. We could use the money to be like the guy who restarted Twitter under the name Blue Sky. So like, take the money and just restart Bud Put again. Yeah. You know? Maybe.

Blue Sky, they won. They're the real winners. The funnest one. Yeah, the your party of social media. If you're looking for a scolding, there's no better place. I do like Blue Sky in terms of its sincerity, but it's not where I go for memes. It's nice.

I use it only for people I personally know now. Yeah. I can't be going on at Main Feed. A picture of like a muddled up Rubik's Cube with an unhappy face going, me before coffee, and then a fixed Rubik's Cube saying, me after coffee.

I mean like, this made me laugh way too hard. I wish you all the best. Yeah. But I can't look at that. These are like jokes from church. God approved These are jokes that Sunday school

The Archbishop has approved They've all got a big stamp From the Archbishop His seal These are jokes that you could carry With candles either side of them You may laugh at this Sign up to the Patreon

And you will get We're gonna, in the Patreon I'm gonna look at Glenn's Myspace And I'm gonna take us through it I'm gonna take us through it If I can find it If you sign up to the Patreon You get a free episode a week

It comes out Friday 5pm You also get access to a monthly George Pod with George Four Acres who I know you guys are all a big fans of and is now on UKSNL he couldn't reveal that but we talk a little bit about it as much as he can which at the time recording this is going to be

on next week I think last one next Saturday okay well watch out for George late of Budpod and current of George Pod and the bonus section of the Patreon there's also watchalongs we've done Silence of the Lambs the holiday Madam Webb

shit and Cutthroat Island is February series film, which is way too good, given what a disaster it was. Yeah. So go check all that stuff out. Thank you very much for listening and Koji. Koji.