BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2E43 | Del Boy Heat Map

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

Vote here for BudPod for this year's Golden Lobes, Listeners' Lobe award! Thank you guys! KOJIThis week the buds discuss Scouse Hogwarts, Wacky Races, Pierre's 'Neaster' and challenging AI's BudPod knowledge.Email or Dm us your correspondence to [e-mail] or @budpodofficial on Instagram. KOJI!Stream Glenn's tour show 'Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore' on Sky Comedy and NowTVPierre is on tour across the UK, Ireland and Netherlands!Including a headline show at the Leicester Square Theatre on May 28th! Tickets available now at https://www.pierrenovellie.com/Vote here for BudPod for this year's Golden Lobes, Listeners' Lobe award! Thank you guys! KOJI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Important announcement, guys, we want you to go and vote for Budpot for a listener's lobe in the Golden Lobe Awards. It's a public vote. The rest of the awards are judged by judges, but this is Democratic. It's up to you, the listener. There's a link in the description, and we'd love it if you clicked through and voted for Budpod for the listener's lobe. It's Budpod 43. Your daughter is me. This is me letting you know the huge news.

That is the grammar That's the grammar of how people speak on reality shows For yourself Your daughter is me Your daughter is me it is I have always wondered this I don't know if we've ever discussed this before Like whether in person or on a recording

But I'm fascinated by a friend of mine Used to go out with a girl who worked in like translation For like movies and TV shows And I was always fascinated by how like I'm trying to think of a movie that is so spoiled we're not spoiling yet. That Empire strikes back. Yes. Yeah. Luke, I am your father.

Or I am your father, Luke, whatever, whatever the exact wording he says. But I've always wondered what it, like, surely there's some language that you translate it to us, like, by the very nature of their relationship, from the arts, Darth Vader has been calling him like a version of Luke, but you only call your son that. Do you know what I mean? So where we give it away instantly, yeah, there's got to be like reality shows where like you would never reveal a winner's name at the end of a sentence. You always start by saying, winner Daniel, you have, you have won the competition. That's how they talk about contestants on Master Chef. Last round winner, Daniel has decided to cook a big egg. Is that like

1800s Master Chef? We're like really rudimentary ingredients. John has been set to find a pair, but he can't seem to get one from anywhere. We haven't got potatoes here yet. Joseph of Marlborough has decided to cook a marzipan turkey. He's never seen one, so it's best guess in terms of the shape. And it's covered in cinnamon and salt. He couldn't find a full turduckin. He's made a cowper.

person, which is a combination of cow and person. He slaughtered both his cow and his eldest. You know the thing about Harry Potter with... I love Harry Potter. You know, yeah, I know. As of recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As of very, very recently.

You hated it since the 90s, but only recently used to come around to it. I can't waver the HBO series. Have you seen the trailer? No, no The trailer is like, you know when you go to like a Kersner and Everyman or a picture house or like a slightly wanky cinema wherever in the country you're based and the trailers will inevitably be

for predominantly foreign movies and they try to use the trailer to disguise the fact it's foreign and you get two minutes in you're like, hang on a second, no one said anything. Yeah, these are just dramatic shots. They've done that, but with magic, there is no indication in the trailer that it's anything to do with witches and wizards.

It looks weird, but as far as you're concerned, it's about a boy transferring from one school to another school. It's got more in common with adolescence than the original series. You're a good lad. Defense against the dark arts. I'm changing my plea to guilty. I stabbed Hermione. She rejected my advances.

I'm a death eater. Because you can't show on the news because he's like a 14-year-old boy. The silhouette on like the front cover of a son is moving. but it's just a black silhouette. Scouse Hogwarts, please make it. Scouse Hogwarts. Fuck, I had a fucking Hogwarts moment today. A station in Melbourne, I would have to get platform 14.

We were like running late to get a train. And he goes, platforms like one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fifteen, directly next to each other. 13 and 15, directly next to each other. No sign as to where 14 could possibly be. and it was like, do I need to ram myself into a wall? Is this where it works? Is this where she got the idea from? Where the fuck was it?

This is not one of the central stations. Katie and I were going for brunch. So, I mean, I've probably mentioned this one of before. Katie writes on Last Leg and Adam Hills had just flown back to Australia having spent the last six months or so there. So we were going to hang out with him and have lunch with him. So this was in like proper central Melbourne. but we have to explain that we were late because the platform isn't there.

Like it's silent ill. Where had they fucking put it? Well, we asked it. It's one of these ones where it's like, it's right down the end. So when you ask remember we start, you go,

but they're half and 14, they go, yeah. And yeah, okay, thank you. Thank you. Bye.

Thank you. They do they, they put it at the end when the train is the size of a fucking baguette, right? Yes, exactly that. Yeah,

yeah. You'll just climb on the baguette and it takes you away. It speeds past you like when the Uber driver doesn't recognize that you're there on the street corner. I mean, from having stood there waving at the train, you've got to like... Is it weird that I hail trains? Is that strange? Do you find that strange? No, I think it's got a charming naiveteer to it. I stick my thumb out. And then when they leave, I wave a hanky really fast. And you cry?

Yes, I run alongside the train platform, saying goodbye to someone I don't know. I do that, but I don't... A terrified elderly woman. I don't wear the hanky Who now think she's forgotten like She's gone to war Well she's gone to war I do the same thing

But I run like I'm the kid And not the wife So I run past in like Little shorts and a shirt and braces And I shout things like Bring me back a Luga mister A Luga Yeah

This isn't set in wartime by the way This is This is now yeah This is just now Yeah yeah Yeah he's a weird kid Yeah, I know exactly what you mean With it

A, with the platform thing at Paddington They do that where they go Platform 14 is like They're ashamed of it They've hidden it in a corner Yeah, and if you ask They're so non-committal Like we've got friends of mine where like a bit

A bit we like to do Is if you're like on an escalator And you're standing on your friend's foot And they're like, sorry man, you're standing my foot You just go, oh, don't worry about it I don't mind, it's okay and you just stay standing on their foot. I'm fine, I'm fine, it's okay.

Don't worry about it. The foreign movies trailer thing, it's, I like it when it's even deeper, and they've got like an ambiguous foreign star in it, so you go, but I just saw Mads Mikkelson. Yeah, happy about them, Zinis. Danish, Danish, too, do, do, too, too, too. Yes.

What's her face from? Hannibal. That's not a word I recognize. And he eats people, sounds very European. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, he's people in a pretentious way. American Hannibal Lecter is just burgers, just mince them up burgers. Yeah, yeah.

Have you ever tried buffalo sauce, Clarit? Just really trash. Absolute trash Hannibal Lecter. I ate his liver with a McRib and a strawberry. And a large stuff to pepper. Yum! And that's what makes her, like, recoil. Yeah.

There's almost no nutrients in that sauce at all, Dr. Lecture. Yeah. I'm having a friend for an emergency service station pit stall. I'm having a friend round for potluck. Potluck barbecue. I'll never, that's what, I bet we'll never experience that in our lives. Unless you're going to tell me this is a South African thing that you had. A potluck.

No, I think I think those days are gone, aren't they? Yeah, I've most of done bought a potato salad to a barbecue. Do you know what I mean? What some Doritos? Yeah, I bought chips and dough. That's all I've done.

Yeah, it's got to be in an incredibly, an incredibly weirdly sized, but somehow incredibly precious dish. Yeah, grandmother's China, which I'll take to a friend's house. I'll walk down the street. through like the dodgiest part of LA Yeah

Like like you're a background character And a cartoon where a car chase is happening You may as well be carrying a large pane of glass With a friend Or running like a fruit stall in a shopping mall During the Blues Brothers Like the worst part I cannot imagine being a cartoon character

Running a fruit stall You must go like This is a doomed occupation It's a dying industry The invention of the automobile in Wacky Racist land has ruined, is ruined my prospects. Well, look, you can't have wacky racers now either because car manufacturers have centralized.

You don't get the old mom-and-pop car manufacturers that used to be willing to make you a car with an umbrella that bursts out the top, with a gun in the front, with a dispenser for Toffee that sticks people to the floor. We've lost that. They never just had, like, a sniper rifle. And it dastively just gets shot at head and slumped.

And Mattleys, they're going, wake up, wake up, yo. It's the first time he becomes fully lucid. And he's like, genuinely, man, are you okay? I could talk this whole time, are you okay? I'm normal. There's a man in here. There's a man in here. Mudley's going, this isn't funny.

This isn't, this isn't funny. Yeah. The other guy from Catch a Pidgin, who's just like, that's because he just, that's because he just, just sustained like a serious head injury because he got shot in the head previously but it just like missed vital parts of it looks like Dick Dastred Lee's lost his head

with lit it be a bit yeah that's the dog And the episode's called like flatline or something like that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah or just you know they've got access to all this just make a fucking faster car just win the race just win the race for real

yeah just they never try to do it by legitimate means And it's a real like tortoise and the hair sort of thing where you go like you've had a fucking nap. You've gone to a different city. You've, you've like, I feel like it's not really about the race anymore. Yeah, it's about messing with each other. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I feel like that's a, that's not really in the spirit of it. Someone should stand up and say, guys, we forgot the racist part of the wacky part.

Yeah? The wacky part's taken over. this is so wacky what we're doing, but we're not really racing anymore. I think that would be good. They went big and hard by pitching it as wacky races because you go, that's subjective. I think wackiness is subjective.

Yeah. Well, you and I know in our industry, especially in the UK, it seems to work a bit differently in the US, but in the UK, the more you talk about how good or funny something is, the more the public will hold you personally responsible and hate you for every second of it

that they're not weeping with laughter. Yeah, absolutely. You know, Charles Manson was so crazy he used to call it normal races. That's what he used. I think it was the sickest thing I ever heard him say. Wacky race war, that's what he wanted. He wanted a huge race war in the California desert,

but what people left out is that in his manifesto he did specify that it would be like cannonballs and anvil. Yeah, yeah, I mean, to be fair, like, David Duke sounds like a wacky races character. He's the truth. Of course. Juk of Hazard. He's the grand wizard of wackiness.

Yes. He's. I genuinely, if I saw really all that episode of wacky races and the clan were in a kind of big van, I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay. I guess it's from a different time. This is like those Tom and Jerry episodes. You're doing shaggy getting chased by the clan, then they chase them back on the side and they're dressed as the clan. And then they pull it off and they go, David, jerk, weren't you a politician? and I would have gotten away with it for you for you progressive teens

and Fred dabbled with David's ideas because he's like a blonde jock yeah Fred is there going Come on gang Come on gang let's hear him out Now hold on What of this time we're wrong

Yeah Okay back in the van Fred back in the van back in the fucking van Scooby-Doo saying racist and everyone's like are you saying a different first letter or is that you just saying the word racist? Yeah, are you saying that?

Yeah. Are you saying bassist? Yeah. We just need to be sure you're not saying the word basest. Racist wrong McCartney. Paul McCarney's in the editing seat when he made like special guest appearance and he said he'd be like,

can we just get a bit of a clarification on that, please? Who taught this dog to speak? Could he say like A bass player? Race, race? No, that sounds bad as well. You say, and on bass? No, I'm on race, Paul McCrack?

No, no. I'm just going home, he says. I regret making the white album. And it's the right album, but Scooby. It's the right album. really fucked. Ron Renan? Hello there.

Love one to meet. Ron Renan, it sounds like a real name. Yeah. We've gigged with Ron Renan. You like Scooby's going to sign that man's book. Scooby does muttering about Rirty Rippies. He turns out he's really, really, really right way. Oh.

Now, this is crazy to me. This is so strange to me because it's Tuesday morning. Yeah. I'm having a coffee that I've accidentally left some bits in. Yeah. Which is no good. And I've just seen Glenn have a sip of a frosty schoonerite. Yeah, absolutely.

Oh, he's got a sawy glass. And, yeah. Oh, look at the frost on that sweet baby. Oh, my Lord. I found this in the park. It's so strange. Yeah, yeah, well, it's Australia. They grow there.

Yeah, no, it's in the liquid. Oh, just loose. Yeah, it's like a really soft amber. Like a sort of sap. It doesn't make me feel as instantly ill as sap normally does. Okay, but it's a different tree, I guess, in Australia. Yes, exactly that. It's exactly that. I, um, I'm going to do my...

That's how... Sorry. That's how we met. Sorry, no, no, sorry, let me go first, is what I'm trying to say. Let me go first. Let me go first. Go, fine, go. That's awful.

Awful stuff. I do like to do that. If you're, if you're towing and throwing of someone at a door, to indicate the open door and go, please. And then carry a morning, go, let me go first. It's a really obnoxious thing to do. That's when you're inviting the pheromone in, I think. We spent last week about odd audience members I'd had in the past.

And let's not say the venue, but you did a talk show recently. It was very nice, you said. But someone who runs the venue had something to say to you. Yes. So, we've had, this is important from a scientific point of view. Because the listener might be listening to you and me talk about your pheromone. And the listener might be thinking, now hold on. Option one is that this is real.

Option two is that it's like a bit, like when Phil and Pierre used to pretend not to know what Guilted Cage was. Yeah. Option three is they both think it's real, but they're both just kind of like, it's like folia d'ur. They've both just driven each other crazy.

Yes. So this is an important tick in the column of It's Real. Someone else can see the demons. Yeah, it's Harrison Ford coming out as Hans Solo in the trailer for Force Awakens. like it's real all of it or something like that it's that's what he was referring to a person at a venue fairly recently said to me oh we i was looking through the program of who else had been at that venue and i saw that you'd been there at some point the point is this this person at this venue was like

i said oh you've had glenn i know glen i do podcasts with him and they said yeah he's so nice that that was a good show they say they were very nice about you and your show is the duo. And then they said, yeah, some of his audience, I think I've never really seen people like that before. I didn't really know people could be like that. And I started laughing. And I was like, did you say that to him? They were like, yeah. I asked them if, I asked them if some of the audience were, if these were the people he was expecting or that he was used to. And yeah, He explained that this is a thing for him. And it was amazing to me.

Complete validation, external validation. I was so happy. From a professional venue manager whose job is to see audiences. So for them to stand out is particularly egregious. Well, exactly. And also, not only that, but I believe that, because that's a venue that sees all kinds of shows. And I believe that a friend of a show, Phil Wang, I believe that the last time he did like a work in progress or something there, the previous night, they'd had like Russell Brandt post

fucking documentary. Oh, what? They've had that audience. Oh, it might have been a few days pre-documentary, but still, he was insane. He was insane. Of course, yeah. The Bear Grills baptized in the Thames audience. Oh, man, so weird.

Drinking from the Thames. It's so creepy. It's such a cursed river. It is. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's a chocolate river from Winnie Wonka. You can't say that you got out of the Thames after your baptism. You just have to say you've been fished out of the Thames.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw a terrible body. I saw a guy just sitting on the street yesterday. And he was reading, just sitting on the pavement. And he had Russell Brand's book. And it was like that book has either gotten you into this situation. And it won't help you out. either one of those things.

It can't like, please get rid of the book. That's the book of the dead. Do not read from the book of the dead? His bookie work? It wasn't his bookie work. No, no, no, no. It might have been his novel novel.

Or maybe his autobiographyography. But it was something, it was like one of the latest sort of ones. One of the more like serious ones. Where he has like, he has the artwork of a magician. Do you know what I mean? But an artwork, one of those like,

scary magicians. Well, yeah, scary. because like the mind mind molester one of those ones and it's like he's only scary because his cupboard trick's got a skull painted on it's the same fucking cupboard it's always the same yeah yeah when they when they're like i've got a i've got a necklace with teeth on it or something and you go okay man i've got a mouth with teeth in it that's scarier i've got teeth in my mouth. Darren Brown is scarier than a scary magician because of how of how like normal and

or like polite he is. That's more frightening. Yes. Less is more. A magician is less scary if he ends every trick by saying uglily boogily, which is what they're doing. I'd hate that actually if I saw a magician say uglily bugly at any point. I'd go, come on man, that's creepy and I don't know why.

Because I don't have you being spooky or magic. What if he said it in a really like offhand way as though it was like saying, Thank you to a waiter. Bob's your uncle. Ugly boogly. And here's your card, ogly-bugly. Yeah. I had a habit of accidentally making those sort of,

because that ends up being a slip if you're saying it that offhand. Yeah. I went through this phase of saying about everything at home of just if I was going to make, like a coffee of just saying, I think it might be, I think it might just be Daddy's Little Coffee Boy. I remember this phase of yours. Yeah, and this culminated in me

at one point at a pub getting halfway through ordering and saying, I'll just be Daddy's Little Foster's spot. Like, I got, it was, I got halfway through the word daddy. It's like, I'll be daddy, dad, dad, dad, dad, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, which one. is what here I'm happy. Da da da da da da da San Miguel. Remember that?

That was the tune. Oh yeah. Do you remember the advert? I don't. I don't. It's like little memes like that slipping in. It's so difficult. I just spent Easter with my nieces and nephews.

Neester. Neester. Yeah. I had a Neester. and yeah because I don't have kids I have to sort of there is that moment where you go

okay this is not the same joking around as you would joke around with your friends you can't fully riff because my nephews are old enough now that they can riff a bit they're quite fun

but you can't you have to do it it's real training wheel stuff if you're a professional twat yeah it's so it's trickier well when they like it when you talk to them as a fellow adult. Like, yeah.

I don't, I've never talked down to kids ever. Like, if ever I did gigs for kids, I would talk to them fully as if they were grown-ups, and they seem to appreciate that more. But I found myself accidentally doing that on the drive home for Christmas. We started at Pizza Express like at a service station. And the wretch had like an apple juice or something like that. And it was obviously that luminous green. And he went, it looks like we.

And I didn't really think I just went, what is wrong with your wheel? and he just, but he just like lost his mind because I'd said, I'd asked it in the same way I'd have asked like a 30 year old and I think he appreciated that more. So what were you at the risk of doing then, over Easter? Just at the risk of

like making up funny songs and then inevitably like some of the songs we sing on here, it's going to be fucking a dad or something. Well, yeah. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Yeah. And one of my nephews in particular has got like an insane, like, an insane memory in general, but especially for silly stuff.

Like he'll remember word for word songs that I made up a year ago. So if I say something rude, it's in there forever, man. It's in the cloud forever. Can't delete it. Oh, I did that once when I was like 14 to my cousin, who at the time must have been like eight and told him, joke that obviously wasn't going to get. Older than eight. Definitely older than eight.

Yeah, because otherwise it would have been really weird that I told him this joke. But I told him a joke that was just way too, way to, just, it was a sick joke. And at the table, he was like, Glenn told me this joke earlier and I've never, I was like, it was like I was trying to kill him under

the table. It was like I was trying to kill him. It was like my feet were trying to kill his knees. Going, shut up, I didn't. I didn't. And it took, I, like, Like, it took me, like, sometimes you just have to give someone a look of just like, I believe with everyone,

there's like, what is it like a coin you can trade in? It's like a look you can give people of like, genuinely no. Like, yeah. Please, don't. Please. Yeah.

No, it was like that. Not in a fun way. Don't do this. Yes, exactly that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did it work? Were you free? Yeah, just about, just about.

But also, what the fuck's he thinking? He knows the game. He knows. He knows the fucking game. He knows the game. Someone told, I got told this earlier. What are you doing? What do you stand to gain here?

Is there a bounty on my head? Your parents are going to give you $10,000 for a joke telling outlaw like me? Is this the reward for this? For being a good boy? A friend of mine at school, we were talking about MSN Messenger. I hate that this is true. We were talking an MSN messenger and I went to send him a link for something. Common website was.

Maybe it was like a download link for like a limb-biscuit album to illegally download or something like that. and I sent him a link to a forum I'd posted on asking for advice on how to ask out a girl I really liked based on how to fully the worst thing you could are when I was like... I thought you were going to say Lemon Party.

No, no, no, no, no, just sent him that link and he was like, what the fuck... I sent him a limbiccuit link, immediately you get replied, what the fuck is this? And I'm like, if I sent him a virus? And he just sends a quote, And I was like, oh, that must be the wrong link. And he's like, I mean, the profile says the person's from Croydon. And it was like, oh, no.

And he was about, this is about such a young girl, isn't it? And I was like, I'm going to send this to the aforementioned Wet Dreamers, the website. And I was like, you cannot. And obviously on MSN messenger, over text, you cannot get that across. You cannot get across how serious that is. I'm going, you cannot do this. You cannot please. And I think I rang him.

I think I rang his homelined, this mum picked up. And I was like, I need to talk to him. I need to talk to him now. Without even clarifying who I meant. I'm going to turn this to the wet dreamers. I forgot about the wet dreamers and how could I? The black hand and the white hand. The black hand and the white hand.

You should win the Booker Prize. It should be like a junior booker prize for, I don't know, poetry, literature, situational art. One of them is a very celebrated author. I won't name him. and I think the other one retired or like just we have one dropped out of university from poker winnings. Incredible.

So insane. Well deserved. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly that. Yeah. People you meet in a in a sequel to Knives Out. Oh, glass onion. Yeah, well, like the next one.

No, there's another one of the fucking priest. I'm being a shit. I'm being a shit. it would be exactly Yeah, yeah The, um, it was okay. Have you seen it? Yeah, I have.

It was, uh, I find the, I didn't mind the second one. Don't know why people took issue with it so much. First one's fantastic. I didn't mind it. Um, I think the house does a lot of the heavy lifting. Yeah, what a nice house. The house and the jumpers.

It's such an autumnal film and it was good that they sort of return to that sort of environment for the third one. Yeah, that was better. I did. And that felt like, obviously, Christmas. You know, it's Christmas

adjacent. I get more out. There were two, Wake Up Dead Man had two Joss Whedon jokes in it, two or three that made me unhappy with them.

One about like, where like a character is like comedy drunk is awful. It's just not good. Here's what I think of you. How about this then? Ha ha. I'm drunk.

And you, are you in a play? Are you 11 and are you in a play? Oh, Bugsie Malone. There was a school play I was in where it was set in a pub and they just poured us

a pint of fucking like gravy. But obviously over the course of the play you had to drink a pint of gravy. What? Yeah, we were given like pints of basically Bovril. It was like a working tap and stuff like that but I was playing a guy who was in the pub the whole play and I had

to get through like two pints of bistow in like 19 minutes. Hang on. Fucking hold on a second. Ask me whatever you need. We're happy to pause. Let's do this. You're saying that there was,

you had to bistow on tap for a school play. It literally on tap. I am not joking. It sounds like the play I was in was a rugby initiation. Yes, it does. Or like an initiation into moving to the north. Yeah, I'd like a colliery band. If you want to be a trombone.

player. They get Miss Bisto down you. If you move house north of Matlock, this is what happened. Yeah. Anywhere north of Matlock, you have to do this beer, Bisto, pint, channel. But like, the teacher who set that up is the funniest person in the world. I think it was just like...

I'm going to make kids drink gravy and they can't say anything. I would have been fucking crying, laughing, watching that, going like, yeah, and then mind the play. Look at their fucking faces. They have to keep drinking gravy. Yeah. Yeah, he was watching Miss Trunchball and a big chocolate cake going too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too blatant. You've got to be subtle, trunchy.

Yeah, to be subtle. Graving. Make them inflate with gravy. Miss Trunchball, kids like chocolate cake. Yes, I think you'll find. I think you'll find this is that fat boy's very dream. What about a cold, salty liquid? That's disgusting. thing. I turned the TV

the other day, Matilda was on, the Tim Bincham musical version. I said to Katie, I was like, would you call for police if, like, I was exclusively listening to that soundtrack of just screaming British children? Like, here's a creepy thing.

It's like another brick in the wall. I can't take that song seriously because it's got a chorus of children. We don't need no education. I mean, not only that, but it's got that weird ending of, you can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat. How can you have your pudding if you don't eat your meat? Impossible to take seriously. I don't like it because there's kids singing on the album. It's all about being rebellious or whatever, but I know those kids had the very, the very tightest, neatest hair and ties of all the children in London. They wore straw hats even when not at school. Yeah, genuinely.

Exactly. Fucking Billy Bunter saying we don't need no education. Billy Bunter, yes. I'm not accepting that. They're not actually rebels. From every generation, you just know the kid who played just William was fucking homeschooled or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's a creepy thing I do. I listen to film soundtracks while I walk around. That's not creepy at all. What do you mean? That's fine. Depends on the film, I guess. Do you mean like a Hans Zimmer,

Thomas Newman, you know, like a big atmospheric? Yeah, sometimes. It depends on my mood. I recommend this to people if they don't do it already. If you're having a moody, sort of autumnal, it's better in winter. There's a lot more winter music from films than there is like,

you're not going to listen to a soundtrack from a fucking, I don't know, a movie set in the desert or in the Caribbean and the heat wave. It doesn't. Do you seem to work as well? I associate movies with coziness anyway. Yeah. And I'm less likely to see something in the summer

because summer's blockbuster-e season and I don't tend to see those in the cinema anymore, I don't know. I'm usually less free. Because of stuff like the end of a fringe, I'm less free to go to the cinema in that time. So I don't really go and see like massive, massive,

like whatever, by the end of the year, the top 10 big box office smashes will be, those are probably the ones I haven't seen. Yes, yes, yes, yes. In fact, it's not weird at all. Give me a weird example then. What do you, what makes you go, I hope no one knows I'm listening to this?

Not I hope no one knows. It's just that I told this, I was talking about this to friends of the podcast. and you should check out they work, Sarah Barron, Alex Keeley. And they were like, film soundtracks. Like, this is not a, I don't think this is a standard as you think. No, no, that's bullshit. I refute that.

I think that's absolutely nonsense. I think they're in a minority. Bear in mind, Alex Keeley, of course, has a music podcast that involves going to see life bands. He's not going to see fucking Hans Zimmer or the Royal Abbot all. If you've seen, like, and also, and has an interest in whatever is most up to date. Sarah can't speak for. But I think that's what.

happened there. I don't think movie soundtracks is. I'd say that makes up maybe 30% of my overall listening. I think people understand it if it's Lord of the Rings or, you know, like a big one where it's orchestral and they have an emotional association with the music, whereas one of the albums I'm listening to, what if you haven't seen the film? Fine, absolutely fine, because chances are you might already like the composer. So if you're like, oh, I like, I like James Horner's stuff, but I haven't seen this film from like the late 80s but I know I would enjoy because you like you can tell a fucking John Williams score

from a mile away you can tell a hands in a way you can tell a Thomas Newman one there are so there are so many composers where you're like there's loads that you can just tell from a few notes and you go that's absolutely there I can pick that out of the police line up

that's the song that touched me I still think it might just be us though. I think because you're a such a movie boy. All right. Say this in the comments most comments we have a gap because people just go, I do. Okay, yeah. I want to know the movie soundtracks you listen to and why. And I'll start with mine that I listen to sometimes Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy, the disappointing film. Great soundtrack. Really good for being, for walking around and feeling mysterious in the winter day in London. Yeah, of course. There's nothing wrong with that. I don't think that's remotely strange. Also, what I like about it as a movie soundtrack album is

that it's all that tone and there's not like one track where it's like, oh, from the birthday scene, yeah, da po po, po, yeah, but it's you pap pow, wow. Perfect, perfect issue. That is, yeah, thank you for articulating that. I hate that so much. You're going to get this with any romantic film, plinky plunky, comedy scene, spilled coffee all over the boss's desk, like, that. Tee-hee. Cannot be doing that. Nightmarish. Nightmarish. Yeah, where they've said to it. a professional composer, can you soundtrack this fucking henymour shit?

All right, here's a weird issue I have with listening to instrumentals. I think we've spoken about this before when playing risk because we always listen to like movie soundtracks when we play risk together. But fine with movie soundtracks. I feel, I might have said this on the part.

I feel stupid listening to TV soundtracks. Oh, I remember this issue of yours. Yeah. Even if the budget of said HBO show outweighed that of the tiny indie film, but I'm happy listening to, I feel dumb. There's something more fleeting about to, wouldn't listen to that. Absolutely no. Wow.

To the point where, if I've been on just like a generic playlist and a song's come up that I'm like, I don't know this, I'm going to look at it and I see it's from a TV show, I skip as if I've noticed a wasp has landed on me. I'm like, oh, God, fuck, I've been tricked. You trick me. It's such a strange. It's really strong. I know. I can't justify it and I can't explain it. It's pathetic. It's almost too odd to be snobbery.

It's not snobbery. I watch more TV than I watch films. And when I say TV as well, I watch more prestige drumming. Yeah. It's about respect, Glenn. I eat more McDonald's than I do Michelin-start meals. It's about respect. I know. And even then, I guess, like, TV, there's, you know, there's a grading system. It would be mental if I was like, oh, listen to the I'm a celebrity opening credits. and I'm fine listening Oh, that's like, bottom of the Spotify app. It's in like the top 100 or so.

But it's like, it's towards the bottom, but I listen to it a fair few times. Yeah, on the way to shows, it gets me geared up. There's a guy who, um, there's a guy out there who listens to, I've seen playlists on Spotify of like, all of the theme tune intros for the most popular shows of the late 90s. Yeah.

Just valueless. Look, if that's you, And you're listening to that more than once a year. You've got to talk to someone about your nostalgia. You've got to be a radio producer. You've got to be a comedy radio producer. That can be the only explanation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But listening to some, like, supermarket sweep or, like, one of those, like, really... Do da-da-da-da-da-da-dun-do-do. And it's called, like, Charity Chase. In the noughties, like, electronic music was getting normalized and, like, the rave generation

was getting older. So every now and then, you would get, like, charity chase or, like, or, like, who's that house? Or whatever, some fucking property show.

And there'd be a kind of, um, a sort of Aphx twin bass line in it or something. Yeah. Yeah. Get a bit weird. And then a presenter would come on with, like,

huge baggy 90s suit. Yeah. And his name is, he's got a name that doesn't recognizeably sound like a name. If it's like, uh, If it's like an American, then he's called like, Penals, quince.

And you go, Penels? Penels. And you Google him, and he's got such a brief Wikipedia page, that literally says he shot himself live on air during episode two. And you're like, oh, Penels.

I'm Gramp Chester. Who's that house? Or you look it up in... Who's that house? Who's that house? You look it up and it ran for 196 episodes. Yeah, all on the same day.

One of those like UK gold all day is. They just wanted to get it out before the allegations. They just sent the whole show through. Broadcast it. Send it. Send it. We don't get paid unless it goes out. Send it. Send all by mistake.

Oh, no. We put it all out. Every episode of a sitcom at once overlaid each other with 50% transparency. Yeah, beyond the opening theme tune. It's a nightmare. Your word, think tune is like starting to separate towards the end somehow.

That would be quite a mournful work of art if you just had like, make it like 5% transparency so all the layers come through. Every episode of peep show, just overlaid. And it's one of those art pieces where you can put headphones on and everyone's going, Jesus.

Well, I guess what you'd want is... You'd want only fools. You want studio set all in one room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it just looks like a set of a play. That would be quite a good work of art, is only fools and horses, their living room,

but you've overlaid different fixed frame shots so that it looks like every possible seat and window and standing is just Rodney. So it's an insane fancy dress party where you could only come as dull point of Rob. Or just Rodney, just 80 Rodneys, just filling the room or looking at each other. That would sell, man.

That would sell for billions. You know my dreams app on my phone where I'd write down things that I thought were really funny at two in the morning? I'd always read them back and it would be like awful. Child FM. Child FM. Well, child of, yeah, yeah. One I had was, um, Rodner, you plonky. And I sent that to everyone I knew in the morning, like that morning.

And I thought it was really, I still thought it was funny in the morning. Rodner, you plonky. Yeah, that would be... There's a 2D platforming game called Super Meat Boy. It's like Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's like insanely hard. You play as a little tiny cube

of mince meat with a smiley face. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And he's making his way through really difficult levels of traps of just circular sores and chainsaws and all that sort of stuff. You die all the time. You die every level you die hundreds of times.

But at the end of each level, it shows you every single attempt you did overlaid with each other. So it'd be funny to see it. Only Fools and Horses All laid out in once of sort of like, let's see Del Boy's walking patterns.

Where does he tend to go? Let's see, is there a... Delboy Heat Map. Del Boy Heat Map. Well, he's playing quite a defensive formation, Delby. He hasn't really made his way into the opposition, no.

He's not really even made his way to Uncle Albert's chair. Uncle Albert, of course, the heat map is just like a red dot and a blue. It's just, you know, looks like a flag. Tonight's episode of Any Falls and Horses

comes with commentary from Guy Mowbray. Well, it's a tricky tie to nine. It is Del Boy versus Rodney, home fixture for Del Boy at Nelson Bandela Towers. But just over each joke just sort of like just commentating over the top of sort of like, oh, and he's dropped the chandelier, egg on his face, a terrible end. And chances are they are never going to be asked to clean lights ever again. And if that joke's not worth a million pounds, I don't know what is. Thank you very much for being with us here today.

There'll be more commentary if you press the red button over in the studio and they've got a bunch of old comedy actors all there in suits, sitting on high stools really awkwardly. Well, let's see how their latest transfer does. Uncle Albert, of course, brought in from Panathonycos after the premature death of Grandad in the previous season. So, oh, I was going to say, we should do some correspondence. Why? Why do you say it like that?

We, because we asked for AI Slop and we got some. Hey, all right. Mail, letter, post, message, email, notes, text, dispatches, SMS, and randoms. A.I. Slop from Sean. Yes, Sean, apologies in advance. Bear in mind, I am in Australia at the moment. I'm in Melbourne, but tomorrow I go to Sydney. So when you listen to this, I'll be in Sydney. we should have warned you in advance the correspondence is going to be a lot more expensive

we should have warned you about the shipping costs of sending it in the first place and roaming off when you send stuff to us because it's going to bankrupt you yes Glenn's half of it I receive it and then I send him half and I charge you yeah we've already bankrupted John Joe and Slow Pooh

AI slot from Sean Hello boys love you both old dad can fuck off now because Glenn buys me ice cream and knows everything about video games. Yeah, it's all true. Anyway, I saw this AI slop on Instagram recently and I've never in my life felt as uneasy about reading a sentence as I did when I read this one. So, I'm going to give this a go. All right. The picture is David Mitchell, I think has Ludwig, the kind of detectivey guy.

Yeah. And this is on Instagram. and the caption says, David Mitchell confirms that peep show are there were once they are did. They become the first ever to have the first, as in the era of that win of Channel 4 began. Congratulations, David, hashtag peep show. People will have shared that and gone something renewed, renewed.

Congrats David, picture of him. he's been renewed. They would have shared it and gone... He's been baptized in the Thames by Bear Grills. Oh, God, you've got my forehead all wet. David Mitchell confirms that Peep Show are there, were, once they are did. They become the first ever to have the first,

as in the era of that when of Channel 4 began. See, the second half makes it sound as if it was one of Channel 4's first ever shows, which is just fundamentally untrue. It was like 20 years into Channel 4. so I can't begin to understand what that is. Maybe it's an anniversary, 20 years since the beginning. And they've gone, brilliant news.

Something. Stop the boats. David Mitchell agrees. David Mitchell agrees. AI slot from Jim. Morning, jents. I'm a recent subscriber to the pod, having come from the equally excellent button boys.

Thank you. Yes. After listening to a few episodes, Piers often signs off saying Koji, which is not something I had heard. I therefore decided to ask AI to find out what Koji stands for. Pierre had been looking for a way to create a forced catchphrase to annoy Phil. He eventually landed on Koji as the perfect nonsense word. It's not true.

It officially became the mandated ending around episode 131, the gilded shitter and episode 132, the bone zone. By the time they hit episode 135, the joke was fully established, and Pierre was shouting it with the aggressive confidence. know today. Is this true? What's true? What's true?

None of that's true. None of that's true. How did it come about? We were joking about, we were making fun at how uncomfortable Phil was with, with like, rude emails. But like, he liked, you know, he laughed at them, but he was always like, ugh. And so he was saying, like, oh, it would ruin your life if the catchphrase was something about, like, you know, wipe those butts or something like, oh, yeah, yeah.

I wouldn't like it if it was white that. parts. Someone signed off an email with Keep On Jack in it. Nice. Like a joking catchphrase. And they just went, yeah. And we're like, okay, Koji, great. So that was, it stuck. If I saw Koji on like a navy blue t-shirt with like Koji and then white Japanese lettering for no reason, I'd be like, great. I love that. K-O-J capital, I lowercase. You go, oh. Yeah, nice. What weird tech, what 80s tech firm is that based in Tokyo?

Yeah. Well, here's a further. Here's more lies from the robot. Fun fact, says the lying robot. Pierre didn't just pick it out of thin air. It was part of a larger conversation about high-end cooking in fermentation. Koji mold. He realized that shouting a technical Japanese fermentation term was the least cool catchphrase possible, making it the perfect tool to use against Phil. Now, they've picked up the idea that I'm messing with Phil with Koji, or we're all messing with Phil. But it's obsessed with, it's so wrong. It's so profoundly wrong. And it's confident as well. You go, it's not saying might have something to do with the sources seem to suggest. It's something to do with this. If you literally type in what is water into Google, the AI bit will be like, it's thought reality has probably been lost to time.

It's thought hydrogen and potentially oxygen have something. But don't quote me on that. Please don't quote me on that. where as if like you type him Glenn Moore into that they'll be like he's one of Portugal's tallest salesman

no and it'll be really like confident known for his cat phrase suck it up sweet cheeks no salesman would say that no salesman would say that it's as Jim continues

I'm fairly sure the episode titles the Gilded Chitter and the Bone Zone do not exist and nor are they any of your Patreon tears and they do not exist. They've hallucinated perfect titles, the Gilded Chitter and the Boneser. Gilded Chitter especially sounds incredibly Budpot season one.

Oh, man. Thank you for that, Jim. Yes, it does. It's so on brand. The robots will not be taking over soon, at least not podcasting. No. What a load of shit.

What a load of slop. Thank you very much. Yeah. Well, that's all the time we have, guys. Yes. Come see us live. I am at the time of recording, you're going to be listening to this on a Wednesday,

most likely. I'm in Sydney at the Comedy Store on Thursday and Friday of this week, doing my tour show. One of the best reviewed shows of the Edinburgh Fringe, if I can allow myself to be arrogant. It's just true.

It's a different show to my Sky Special, which you can also watch if you're based in the UK or New Zealand. But come see that. It's at the Comedy Store in Sydney. I've never gated in Sydney ever. So it'd be lovely to see you there. Similarly, later on this month,

I think we've mentioned on the pod before, the audience versus, a video games comedy live show that I do, masterminded by Simon Park and the Observer's video games critic, who has the excellent My Perfect Console podcast, which if you like video games,

Pierre and I have both been guests on that. But The Audience Versus is me hosting a series of bastardized video games formats, and it's very stupid and very dumb. And we have Ian Sterling and Phil Wang competing against you, the audience. So that's going to be at the Pleasance in London. Tuesday for 28th of April,

It will sell out, but I just thought I'd give it one more plug just so we've got a friendly home crowd. And that's a pleasant's in London, not the end of one. This is in London just off the Calablonian load. So do please check that out. Come on. Come on. Right at the end.

Right at the end. Like a striker about to score a goal, and then he just picks off the ball and fucks it and deflates it with his terrible day. Do you like it? I like it. I like it. Caliblonian load. Oh my God

Okay Koji everyone See you next week See you on the Patreon