BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2E48 | Spider in a Glass

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Youtube Version Here!This week the buds discuss The Machynlleth Comedy Festival, Pierre's new ear worm, immature Johnny Cash and Glenn's 'What Do You Prefer?'Email or Dm us your correspondence to [e-mail] or @budpodofficial on Instagram. KOJI!Stream Glenn's tour show 'Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore' on Sky Comedy and NowTV.Pierre is on tour across the UK, Ireland and Netherlands! Including a headline show at the Leicester Square Theatre on May 28th!Tickets available now at https://www.pierrenovellie.com/Vote here for BudPod for this year's Golden Lobes, Listeners' Lobe award! Thank you guys! KOJI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Important announcement, guys. We want you to go and vote for Budpot for a listener's lobe in the Golden Loeb Awards. It's a public vote. The rest of the awards are judged by judges, but this is Democratic. It's up to you, the listener. There's a link in the description, and we'd love it if you clicked through and voted for Budpod for the listener's lobe. It's Budpod 48. Wait.

You may continue. Please continue. Please continue. It's a fun thing to do to someone, as they're telling us. story to just indicate as if something on the other side of the street and you go, can I, can I just stop you there? Really fun, obnoxious thing to do to say. Or as if there's something on their face.

Just, just, just one second. And then don't do anything. Yeah. Just grab both of their ears. Yeah. Bring them towards it better, better now. Bring their head closer. There, there we are.

Lovely. Perfect. Perfect. Um, I... So, it's annoying to have a song stuck in your head. Yes. It's more annoying to have a silly parody version of a song stuck in your head. Fuck. It's more annoying to half remember the silly parody version of the song that's stuck in your head

and still have it stuck in your head. And that is happening... I hope you've got an example. You realize, I'm just glad it's never happened to me. I'm grateful every day. that I've got no idea what that's like. What's been happening with you? Yeah.

Like my Chrisakabusi thing I used to do to people. Yes. Yes, to cheer them up. Exactly. No. It's one of yours. No. Yes. Oh, man. Okay. I'm sorry about this.

For a couple of days, I've been going, wow, what were the exact fucking words? I remember the sentiment. Yeah. And I remember one of the lines. And it's your horrible sexual parody of magical elixir, the song from Oliver Twist.

The worst thing is, I can't help you, because I have no memory of it. And so, da, that, magical elixir. Gonna suck your dick, sir, true. True, sir, true. As soon as he said, magical elixir, I was like, gonna suck your dick, sir. Obviously, it's gonna say, like, obviously. And it's gonna say, you're really promising to suck his dick. It's really horrible.

Especially from an archin. True, sir, true, please, please, make the carriage go, go, go. A musical theatre archin. I would like to sat your dick. Like, that's awful. Like, like, I don't think this awful vision years ago. I have a shoe shine boy gives you a happy ending. But with the cloth, like...

But at a train station, still with the clock. Elevated seat in front of everyone else, the Victoria Station. Just getting jacked up. While you're reading the paper, it's not reacting at all. Quite stubborn today, sire. Oh, this one needed some coaxing out, and I don't mind telling you, sire.

The guy reading the paper is going, Mm. Yeah. Well, see you get it done. There's an extra penny in it. I hope I can see my face in it. Polish. Horrible.

Spit-shine. Horrible, horrible. With a pipe, smoking a pipe, reading the paper, not reacting at all. Let me see. Let me see if I just. Did I, did I, WhatsApp it? I was walking around, constantly just saying to myself, goodness, I'm gonna suck your dixen.

Oh, fuck sake. Do you know, it's such, what a show? I went into WhatsApp, put in the word elixir, and what confirmation I'm a fucking nerd. That just amongst all this, yeah, I've been using the debuff and the, like, loads of conversations, obviously about, like, Boulder's Gate and stuff like that. And I'm like, oh, fuck, no. You've searched virginity in the app.

And it's all come up. And everything's like, I hope to one day it's all that. Loads of that. Another day, still got it. What would it be? Piperalee's a little girl licks. Gana suck your dick, said true.

No memory of that at all. Victorian London was ridden with sexually threatening urchins. Upper-class gentlemen would pay the money to not constantly follow them, shouting about how they're going to say it. It's got to cause a scandal. Give him whatever he wants. I need to clean up with my hanky.

Where's my hanky? Artful Dodger! Come back here! Yeah, so I've had that as an earworm. I'm so sorry. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Again, it's so annoying when you can't even remember the thing that you're trying to scratch the edge by singing.

It's difficult as well with some... Like, there are so many of it I've stuck in my head that are just, like, not even suitable for this podcast. There's just really bad stuff. Really thoroughly bad stuff. I think squeezes up the junction is my worst one. Oh, yeah. That was really bad.

I'll show, oh, wait, let me show you the lyrics. I thought of a horrible one at Mahantelot Festival where I walked past someone singing Johnny Cash Ring of Fire. Yeah. And he says, the taste of love is sweet when... The taste of love is sweet. Oh, yeah, yeah. hearts like ours meet, you know, and I had in my head, uh, this is really gross.

The taste of blood and meat when farts like ours squeak. Disgusting. It's disgusting. I always enjoy picturing them in the studio and a producer going, why are you telling me this? And it churns, churns, churns. Just a horribly immature Johnny Cash. But even when he was too old to leave his own home and they had to record music videos in his house.

Yeah, Bummy Slash. I sucked my dude to do. To see if I still could. Yeah. Were you going to show me some horrifying lyrics? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, yeah, yeah. So, Alba Junction is the...

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That cannot do it. What, God. Oh my God. And your friend has replied, it's just more screenshot fodder for when I want to blackmail you. Yeah.

Yeah. There's nothing... A one-off Patreon to a... A million pounds? A million pounds, yeah. Really? It's probably worth putting up. I guarantee everyone's first thought is, well, right?

It's not. No, no, no. It's deeply sexual. It's deeply sexual. It's deeply consensual, but it's just that's a bit of view file. It is, which is, yeah, no. It's a difficult line to tread to make it absolutely grotesque. Yeah, where you're sort of, it's disgust then laughter at how disgusted you are almost, as opposed to just laughter straight.

It's a real circuitous route, a circuitous route to any sense of fun through a really horrible diversion. diversion. Well, like we were talking about in our last, I believe, Patreon episode about horror being so much more profound when you cannot see the actual, yeah, whatever you've got in your head, just enjoy that. Just enjoy that. I don't, obviously, you know, I don't mean to, um... And don't send us your ideas for you think it is. Because you'll probably accidentally do something even worse and we'll have to turn you to prison. But the word dick comes up so frequently in switching out lyrics to stuff and... Well, it's single syllable.

Easy to... It rhymes with so much stuff. Yeah, it's... I just... Such regret. You and friend, you should not be named, are able to switch out lyrics with obscenities the way that some people

can just translate into other languages or... You guys, it's... Because you live together for so long. Yeah. And you've sort of created this art form between yourselves. Like when twins, who are like locked in an assignment,

develop a kind of language. Yeah, our gross ideas synced up. Completely. They synced up. Our cycle synced up. I genuinely think, like, there could be some kind of fucked up. There is like a synapse between people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The information could travel, yeah.

It's like an internet. Yeah. Yeah. I genuinely think there could be some kind of extremely fucked up, like Deer Hunter style, if you get this wrong, we'll shoot you in the back of the head, situation. And you guys would guess what the next sentence was.

How have we spoken about this before? It's like cryptic crossword. But it all started off with, and you can do this yourself at home, it all started up. What you'd do is you'd pitch a hypothetical that seemed odd, but not disgusting. And so his prime example, I think the first one he ever gave me, would be like, I guess it would be like, you're gonna have to cut some of this, I'm sorry, because it's taking me ages to work out and word. he'd be like, do you prefer a famous...

Do you prefer? It's always like, do you say you're more into a moody blues song or the gift that I leave on your doorstep every single day? And you're like, what would that? So moody blues song is any one of... What else could that be? This is where it's like... Every single sort of...

And then if you can't get it, then the person then goes... I guess what I'm trying to say is, do you prefer nights and white satin or tights that I've shat in? And you go, oh, okay. But then part of... Sorry, Sam. But then part of the joke is always that you then sincerely answer with what you think. I think I'd have to go with Knights of White Satin, yeah.

Tights that I've shattered. It's absolutely vile. They've been worn? Is it happened while they've been worn? Or have been chatting to... They've been... ...shad into a pile on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Awful. So there was one... What was the one I sent the other day? I nearly went to send it, and it turned out he'd already done it. Yes, we've created a kind of inception point where there's only so many rhymes and so many obscenities. But it is like watching... people do cryptic crosswords with each other, and you just think, there's so many rules to this. And you guys have formed, you've literally formed so many synaptic pathways in your brain purely to do this.

What I nearly said in the other day, yeah, do you prefer artichoke hearts or a farty bloke sharts? And it turned out, he'd asked me the same question in 2021. So much actual tissue in your brain is devoted to this. And I can't speak Italian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't do Rubik's cubes. I haven't looked at what 0% APR means. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm like, I... This is it. But we, to appointment on his stack do, I made a rant, we had to, all of the groomsmen had to come up with like a round for a quiz. Yeah. And so my, my one was various ones we'd sent each other in the past. Yeah. And I'd give everyone on the setup and everyone then had to do it. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

So it would be like, um, do you prefer... Do you prefer... traveling via a witch's preferred method, or doing what you'll likely be doing on your wedding night. Oh, okay. So what would you rather be sat on? Oh, brooms dick, groom's dick. Would you rather be sat on a broomstick or a groom's dick? Exactly that.

So there's just plenty of these. Here we go. All right, I'll give you a couple of other ones. It's just like riddles from the mind of a fucking... Hobo in the woods. It's so... But not always sexual ones. No, no, no. So it's like...

So, for instance, do you prefer... What would you rather... What activity would you rather engage in to act in a J.M. Barry pantomime? Or to do your favourite boxing day activity with one of your relatives? Peter Pan. Yeah. Or beat a nan? It's to beat your nan, yeah.

Boxing. thing day. Hey, how about this one from last week's episode? Do you prefer a Michael Keaton film that you haven't seen or being very particular about what turds you look at? Oh, okay. Pacific Heights or specific shots. There we go. Fucking hell. You know, sometimes you read about, like, there's a condition where you have a stroke or you hit your head and you have to talk in puns. Yes, yeah. Beck Hill told me about that. The community Beck Hild did, yeah. This is close to that, I think. Like, you and the French who are not being named both got fucking Hanta virus from living with you.

with mice and now your brains have to do this. Yeah, and now all we can think about is either a betting company or viewing your father cleaning himself, Paddy Power or watching your daddy shower. Oh, God. Did you see on the news, my... Oh, Jesus Christ. What have you found a bad one? A really bad one.

We'll work it afterwards. We'll sit on the Patreon. We'll see if we set up the Patreon. Okay. All right, how about this one? A Beatles album with an iconic cover or a short stubble being very fat penis. Oh, um... Sergeant Pepper, no. No, no, no, you're thinking of the wrong album.

White album? No, no, no, no. Oh, I don't know. Okay, it's a world we used to describe Baby Weewee, last episode. No, you're a Chode. Yeah. But I don't know the Beatles album. Iconic cover. Really iconic cover. All four of them featured, Walking.

Oh! Flabby Chode. Abbey Road. A Flabby Chode. There we go! God. Christmas book? Christmas. This book, Stocking Philly. Called Would You Rather. Called Do You Prefer?

Oh, we should talk about the photograph you took with a t-shirt. Oh, my God, yes. So, thank you. Obviously, we thanked everyone on our Patriot for coming to our respective shows at McCuntleth Festival. But at the time of recording, last week, I was doing the audience verses with, created, of course, by Mr. Simon podcast, Mr. Simon Parkin.

the Observer's video games critic and brilliant author, and a creator of the audience verses, which we've spoken about on the pod, a very fun comedy show with a bastardized video game formats in which the audience take on comedians. In this case, it was Ian Sterling, friend of a show, and Phil Wang, friend of a show. Yes. And they were competing against the audience,

and I met with listener Ben, who'd taken part in a sniper elite round. When Ben came up onto the stage, he pointed at his t-shirt. And up until then, a couple of audience members, we've brought up had like video games t-shirts. Someone who was playing Alien Isolation had like a very specific alien t-shirt that was like, it was like the company Ripley works for. It was like one of those ones, it's not a picture of a xenomor.

It's like, oh, it's something they'd wear in the film. It's the, it's an American and a Japanese name. I love merch like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, really great because you could get away, you could get away with that by somebody who doesn't know what it is. It just looks like a cool branding thing. Yeah.

And anyway, he does. You get, they want to flash air lights like a bus driver to another bus driver. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Ben had a custom-made t-made t- a custom-made t-shirt, and it was brilliant. And it said in brilliant, I described it as Cowboy Saloon font. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But said, what of it?

I'll tell you what of it. The stand-up format from the 1950s we created. I couldn't believe it, so I asked him afterwards if I could get a photo with him. I was so, so happy. Well, here's a question. I've never seen something... I mean, I used to work in Kids TV, and part of the pleasure of that was... you write an insane scene in a setting

and then you turn up on set a week later and someone's, and it's been built. And the prop department have had to build this fucking mad thing you've done. And you're very grateful to them, but it's come from your head. And so it was very, very strange to see it in t-shirt form. I loved it.

I was so pleased to see that. Now here's a question. Did you try and explain to the audience of the audience versus what the fuck the t-shirt was about? So with the previous t-shirts, like the ones from the person who worked on, I don't know, the Nostromo or whatever.

I was sort of like, everyone, look at this. And with Ben, I said, I'll talk too about it afterwards. This is too much. This is amazing, but we'll talk about it after. It made it look like a sex thing. Yeah, no, no, but it was great. And again, Ben, a normal man.

Every listener I meet is just normal and it makes no sense because we are, this is disgusting show. Gasty, ghasty little boys and girls. Coolish little goblins. Wholesome tales. Leminy Snicket. Did you? And forevermore, his mind was trapped in the mausoleum.

once there was a crone at home a crone at home in an iron dome her name was Joan and she ate some foam oh what's going on in his iron dome sort of pen and ink illustrations yeah I would be able to sleep at night when I read I keep thinking about that iron dome I keep worrying about the mausoleum

oh no single ghoulish finger she there's always like a weird format to it so that you can rhyme with the next thing Finger she. Yeah, come on. Come on now. Rewrite it.

TFL used to have these poems for the London Underground about rules, and they would just never fit the format. But don't we start with, we do not mean to chide. And you go, just write a different fucking work. Like, rest it. We're just gonna say ride. Yeah, or when you are inside the carriage, please. Don't run up. Oh, Jean-Bermont, is it?

They wouldn't scan. They wouldn't scan. That's weird. That's a weird character in my head. Gruff, Jim Royal-esque man, setting into his arm, I'm on my ass. Oh, Zomberman on my fucking ass.

Angry poet critic. Yeah, yeah. Ted Hughes. Ted. Jommel my fucking ass. There's no fucking rhythm to it. My wife is dead. He's the problem with my wife.

She's so sad. It's so nice in the oven. it was a fucking head. I said you should spend more time with the oven. I didn't mean with putting your fucking head in it. Love? Wow, I didn't know Ted Hughes sounded like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some of the earliest recordings of his poem. The only bell jar I'm interested in is if you give me a bell, does it go for a jar? Yeah. You don't have to pee off. Get the fuck out of my fucking house. Oh, by you... Oh, by you...

And cherish his memory. How about you make me? It's hisura salad. Yeah. So... So... What's the Venn diagram for these jokes, you think? Pardon Manning.

Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath poetry-specific vocabulary references. Ted Chubby Hughes. Most toxic man. Yeah. We're seeing that kind of stuff manifest is always so great. It's always such a delight. Oh, I can't imagine it.

Yeah. Especially because it was such a specific thing. Yeah. What of it? What of it? I'll tell you what of it. Yeah. always used a comment on how he would expect our listeners to be revolting goblins and there were almost

always pillars of society. I listened about to an old episode when I was in Australia. So I think I was listening to it just then chose a random episode of Bud Pot after it, season one. What? And he was talking about how he expected everyone to be ghouls. Goals? Yeah, he expected everyone who said Koji to be like Pennywise from Dun & his sewer. We all listen down here. Yeah. We all subscribe down here. Whereas actually this, I think this is people's like of letting off grubby steam. This is the grubbiness, you know, this is the grubbiness condo. I let all my grubbiness out.

Like, um, letting out my trousers in the yard and the great escape. Yeah. Yeah. It's a confession, it's the grubby confession booth. The grubby confession booth. Um, we don't invite grubby confessions, uh, I don't say. Well, I mean, if they're funny. We haven't had a turd story.

The whole season two. Yeah, that's true. Maybe, well, have a little, have a little check. Maybe. Maybe they're out there. Terns into Gmail. Not for the first time. I think you will enjoy this is a reference from Mahantlath.

So this is from Ben and the email subject line which I quite like is the Macquarian candidate. I like that. How about that? I like that. It's such a good thing to reference the Manchurian candidate. It's such a good reference.

It's good well for any activation of behaviour, isn't it? It's great. It's great. It wasn't a good film. Denzel Washington film, was it, Denzel Washington? Remake. That was the remake, yeah, of course. The original was like 19th...

Yeah, it was about someone got captured in the Korean War and the North Koreans and the Chinese turned him into the Manchurian... Hence, Manchurian candidate. I see, okay. Yeah, but if you haven't been to Macfest, it's a very small village in rural Wales, called Mahandless. And it started...

Henry Whitakam, Josh Whitakam's brother, started it in like 2012 or something like that, I think. 2010, I think. 2010, and it's like an industry aren't allowed, and it's people usually trying out shows of being going to take on tour to the other. It had no promotion and was secret for a long time, until 2015 even. Right.

It was like deliberately secret. And the town doesn't capitalize on the festival at all. No. To the point where it's utterly heaving, and this cafe will be like, we will be closing at 11 a.m. Yeah. Oh, okay. Right.

So you spend most of your time outside. It's God's Day. It's good. The only business that stays open on Sunday, to their credit, It's not some charming local business where they're like, wow, we can really make some money. It's spa. Of course.

They stay late. I had. So I was inexplicably, because the hotels and stuff get booked up like two years in advance. There are friends of mine who went this year. And they said that every year what we do is on the Sunday, they go to the hotel and say, can be booked for next year, and they say you're already too late.

Yeah. So what I did was I decided to book two days in advance because I thought anyone who books two years in advance is going to see that in their diary coming out going, I must cancel that because their life's in a different place. Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they'd leave it until a couple of days before. And I went on a website, and two days beforehand, there's like four rooms available.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So, the best time to get your hotel is three years in advance. The second best time is two days before. Wow. And I'll do, what I do is if this fails, my punishment will be, I'll stay in like a premier and on the motorway, an hour away, and I'll drive in, and that's my punishment. Okay. If it's, for my hubris.

But I get, I went to this hotel, and it was a pub as well, and I went in and I was sort of like, can I just check what time you're open till? And they were like, well, because of a festival, It's fair to say, it's gonna be a pretty late one. And at 10pm, I had to ring the doorbell to be let in because all the lights were off. And what day was that? It was Friday.

It was a Friday night. Friday night. Friday night. 10 p.m. I'm trying to give you money. I start to watch TV at this time, sometimes. 10 p.m. I'll think about starting dinner.

We are desperate to give that town and its local businesses as much money as possible and they are refusing it, I think on principle. I completely agree. I think it's that. I think we'll tolerate the clowns being here, but we're not going to help you. We won't feed? If I can deprive you of fish and chips, I will. I will.

I respect them so much. To just go, I know I could make most. most of what I need to cover the mortgage or the business costs for the whole year in one weekend. And I'm going on holiday. Yeah, because it gets really busy and it's full of clowns. Because it's loud and there's full of clowns. It's full of clown.

If your town got invaded by clowns for one weekend of year, like the purge, you'd also leave. I completely get it. It's also, yeah, it's, I suppose they're sitting there thinking, well, if I wanted busyness, I wouldn't have come here. If someone also said to me, clowns are going to come to your town, of course you'd get up, but one of the new venues they had was a big black circus tent in a field. And I thought, if you don't know there's a comedy festival

and on it, on a Thursday morning, you wake up. And that's appeared. It's a black circus tent. You're gonna call the fucking police. Or you're gonna leave. If you stay, you can make a lot of money. But you have to be open-minded. I was saying to my audience, I was like,

you would call the police, and obviously it would be in a rural town, the police would arrive on Tuesday, which point the tent is gone and you'd feel like you went inside. And they'd arrest you on counter-fabricating a tent. Yes, impersonating a clown. It's a serious crime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can't impersonate a clown. It's very, very, very rude. License and flour. Something disgusting about asking your flower, please. Where's the squirty water coming from from a clown? Is it inside their body? Yes, a gland. Clown wee-wee.

Clown wee. Clown wee, we, watch out, he's going to fucking pit. That would be quite a decent clown prop joke If they did like a squirty flower And the audience is like, huh And then he reveals that like the pipe behind the lapel Just goes right down to his dick Kind of horrible prop joke

Horrible, yeah, really horrible But at least there's something there, right? Yeah, yeah There's something there. We could sell that to someone. A clown with the big dick is such a horrible. Hang on, who said that? Me.

I don't just think getting whacked In the tummy by a big, like clown's big dick. Tommy? Tommy, yeah. I think about, every time I see the word tummy, I think of the Glasgow Willy Wonka guy. When he got interviewed afterwards and he said, it made me feel like, flipped to the pit of my tummy. So wet.

It's so wet. What a squelching wet man. It's always like walking like squelchy footsteps. Yeah, the souls of the shoes are separated from the... Like he's fallen in a pond. Disgusting. I've got one of these, would you prefer? Oh, yeah. And I haven't got the answer.

Oh, a riddle. Do you prefer a religious figure who faces... I got it. Do you prefer... Do you prefer a religious figure who faces off against a large fish? Or getting turned on by a guy? Jonah or a boner? Jonah and the whale are getting a bono from a male.

It's gotta be that. That's what it is, yeah. Okay, thank you. Got it. Got it. So, today's cryptic, what you do is you gotta... This is me in the corner of the screen. Yeah. So, it's about another dad's dick. It's another dad's dick one. dad's dick one. The way you can tell it's about a dad's dick is that it's...

It'd be like a traditional pattern. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, so it says father figure, so that's... Mail, letter, post, message, email, notes, text, dispatches, SMS, SMS, and randoms. So Ben, Ben was who was at Mac?

Macchuring Canada. Dear Pierre Daniels and Glennie McGee, what's that? Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee. Now, me too foreign. Yes. So Paul Daniels's magician. Paul Daniels was a magician, Debbie McGee, the assistant, and they were married. And that's what first attracted you to the millionaire, Paul Daniels?

Mrs. Martin, yeah. Right. That's the only reason I've heard of those people, is that joke? I was given a magic set when I was about six years old, and it had Paul Daniels on the front. And it was just who is this guy? Is Paul Daniels the least well-known famous magician? Because I hear so much about literally every other magician in history. And this guy was seemingly the main magician.

He was a... I think he had his own TV show. He's left no legacy from my point. Yeah, he died. What happened was he said that if he tensed himself up, he could take any punch. And Debbie McGee punched him really hard. He died from like a burst appendix. He just burst.

No, he died about 10 years ago. and I think since then Debbie McGee's been absolutely thriving. I have a sentence in my notes of why she called Debbie McGee and not abracadabra. That have been the best assistant. That is good. That is good. Yeah, thank you. So he was just like a kind of vaguely just, oh hello, I'm a magician. He said, it's magic, yeah.

And so I got one of those like sets when I was a kid of like, a wand that his snaps in half and it's got string separating. Your catchphrase can't be, It's Magic. I think that was his catchphrase. That's the most insanely literal. I've tricked you. But do you remember Alan Titchmarshall? Here's your card.

His cat phrase was, It's Garden. It's Garden. Do you remember that? A lot of people always spoke about, like, Charlie Dimock, not wearing a bra or whatever. But it was the big thing that resonated with me was, at the end of every episode, he'd go, it's Garden. It's Garden. And he'd say it with a real sense of urgency and fear. His teeth would be gritted.

It's garden. I mean, it would cut straight. And you know, sometimes when they show a film on TV that's been shown for years and years and years, so they just whist through the credits. It'd be like that. It's garden, and it goes, like, work out of associated. Well, in Lawrence Llewell and Bowen in... Changing rooms.

Changing rooms. His catchphrase was, he'd raise both his hands up like a child wanting help taking a jumper off, and he'd say, interiors, wouldn't he? Interior's, yeah. With his arms immediately up, like a baby. Yeah, like he's going down a water slide. Yeah, interiors. And he'd do it looking down into the left.

Really odd. I'd love to shave his head. Bowen? Yeah. He's a big fucker. Llewellyn Bowen. He's 6'4. Really?

He's big. How much more frightening is he now to you? Wow. He's dressed like such a small man. Flamboyant little Frenchman. I didn't know that. He's a big boy. L.L. Cool J stood for Lawrence Luellen,

Cole. Joan. Do you know what L.L. Cool J stood for? Lawrence, Lawrence, Cool, Johnson? Ladies Love Cool John. Or James, but it was Ladies Love Cool. Fucking Grow up. Yeah, I know.

Or a fucking Year 7 nickname. Yeah. Yeah, if my name was like, like, yeah, FL-F-L-Cool-G. And it was like, Friends Love Cool Glenn. Buddies love Cool Glenn. What do you mean?

I think you'd have a breakdown. Yeah. I'm trying to see my buddies like me. If you said that to me, I'd say, you don't need a nickname. Don't tell anyone else about this. The one chooses the wizard. You don't get to choose you. But also don't tell anyone else about this idea. Yeah.

I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for you. I won't tell anyone. We don't really say that. People don't talk like this. Dear Pierre Dennell's and Glennie McGee, while sitting in Glenmore's black, creepy and remote clown tent. Yeah, there we go.

What do we say? I assume it for a show as opposed to you were camping in a black creepy. clown. And he came in, yeah. And he came in. Like that old urban legend about the, um, you know, someone of his apocryphal tells, girl's babysitting. Yeah. And she's asked to check in on like the baby occasionally and she goes,

oh, it's like a... It's fine, but just, I don't like the clown statue that's, like, sat. Yeah. And the chair. And they're like, we're coming home right now. The clown shouldn't be sitting there. The clown shouldn't be sitting there. Did you see the best, like, parody version of that online? Where it's like, yeah, but I really hate this creepy clown statue and dad replies, get out of the house right now. You have insulted my clown statue. And I no longer

wish to employ you. So, while sitting in Glenmore's black, creepy and remote clown tent, I noticed something strange. Oh. A dimestage. Over the last couple of days, using the powers of the artist and unemployment, I've been obsessively playing a computer game. I say obsessively because I get nearly no joy from it And I've invested many many hours Okay I understand this I have games like that that I play

That I... It's a job? I don't even like. Yeah That joy instead comes from listening to Budpod while playing Hey, nice. Lovely. It's a nice combo of podcast in a game Unless so, what if he's playing Caller Duty Warzone

He's really bad at it because he's not hearing any footsteps Because he's listening to Budpot And that's why he's not enjoying playing It's keeping kill by these people with ears Everyone's got ears They go an unfair advantage He's listening to Budpot on speakers And he has proximity chat on

So it's just us talking about clown dicks Being like blasted across the map People are just like Dude do you have a podcast on And he can't even hear them Saying anything As Glenn spoke on stage It activated something in me

And the game that I've been joylessly playing Appeared unwanted in my vision Right Perhaps this is an opportunity to activate an army of pod buds, providing we all undertake the same activity while listening. Could be sandwiches? I don't know. Seeing Pierre's show later and will endeavor to resist my new programming. Praise redacted and much cogey, Ben from Cumbria.

Interesting. So he's got this Pavlovian now response. A vision of the game. So he was now annoyed and exhausted going into my show. Hovered in front of him. Because he was like, oh, the fuzz. It's the game guy. It's the guy from my game.

Well, no, he went in liking you, but your voice summoned. an hallucination of a boring game in front of his eyes. Like, yeah, like an actual Terminator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if people have that with, like, newsreaders, if you see Trevor McDonald's, you're like,

oh, you're the guy bums me out. You keep telling me about car bombs. This guy. Yeah, you have no spirit. Don't invite him to any parties. He says... Trevor McDonald's doesn't have a spirit. He tells...

He tells me my least favorite things. This guy's got the most serious stories You must be in He's so well-informed But it's not fun And it's really concise And it's very up to date Yeah

Come on, tell us one of your anecdotes 11 people have been killed After a car bomb exploded in Baghdad It was like 2005 See what I mean? Oh Go back to you Go back to you with Gisbatcher

Thank you by Trevor Oh no No You used to do that apparently at parties No No slurping like that That was an awful noise In my house.

Ben says also, he says, show is very good, so fantastic. That's kind of you. Thank you so much. Thanks are coming. The next day, I noticed that the clown tent had a pattern of blood dripping from the top. Yes. It did. It had a red, yeah.

It was not blood, I hope. Well, what else is it? Just a bit of clown. It's like a bit of clown like... Clown. Yeah, clown juice. Fun clown juice. Clown jam.

Just delicious clown jam. Yes. Bois and berries. This is football ideas from Ian. Hello, Ian. Hello, you both make me laugh regularly, and I'm grateful for your work. That's very kind of you, but we don't do praise. That's true.

But I thought it was so formally phrased. I really like that. Thank you. I feel the need to preface anything corrective with this, so, just, you know, it's not an attempt to be rude. I'm just autistic in the absence of... Any absence of logic in a conversation drives me bar me. The reason Megson had never thought of it, this is your idea. Yeah, about... But running forward in a Roman century,

playing football in a Roman centurion formation in which the person in the middle has the ball and all the other players are gathered around them. So if anyone tries to tackle, they'll have to go through a sea of legs and as a result they're getting the leg before the ball and that's at the very least a foul, possibly a yellow, possibly a red. Well, yeah, so Ian's point is, oh, it's already illegal to block off players' access to the wall.

But it can't be that illegal because there's this thing called marking, right? It's marking and it's... Yeah, hang on. No, no, I don't, I... Ian seems to know more than we do about this. It's debatable though, right? Because there's a way that you could do it where, oh, it's just like, well, I'm just running really close to him, if you want to get through. Well, it's a time-wasting measure people do is they take the ball down to the corner flag, and they just put their body in the way.

Well, yeah. And there's nothing you can do. I did that one at school, a boy who was about a foot shorter than me, and he kept doing it, so I lifted him up under his arms and moved him out of the way. Like the way you pick up a baby. Oh, do you want him? I think he needs changing. That guy thinks about that all the time. 3 a.m. But to get lifted up out of nowhere, I must feel so... Shocking.

Because I was with Le Bufon being just nine months old. I've started calling him the sod instead of Le Bufant, but I've realized I can't say the sod in front of the wretch, because the wretch will start saying sod. But sometimes, because the sod can crawl pretty quickly. The sod. that he'll be able to clear quite some distance. And I've realized, actually,

if you kind of want to keep him occupied, but if I'm sat on the living room sofa and you can see all the way through to the back door, he's kind of got to go from his playroom through the next room and through into the living room. And that actually takes him a couple of minutes. And so then when he gets to me,

he's got no sense of frustration. You pick him up, you're moving back to the back door again. I'll just start the process again. Yeah, so you... Even more gleeful than before. But I wonder if actually that's what's happening in... You're training him. But I wonder if that's what's happening in games like Call a Duty where it says you're now leaving Missionaria.

That's what's happening to him. And actually, like, it would be very funny in Call of Duty of your helicopter. Return to Missionaria and then your dad's hands. Pick your helicopter up and move you back into the dance. Like being lifted up by you under your arms. Now, now. Back to the gun. Stay in your playroom.

Back to the gun. Back to your guns. You're training your kid to be like a... 100 meter sprinter or you're gonna have like an even stronger baby. Yeah. From this kind of... But it's up the spider resilience of if you break a spider's moment. They don't go, oh, drats with eight arms. No.

Thumb. They just start again. They go, okay, fine. Yeah, they don't think about it. Maybe they do, and internally there's just turmoil. Yes, we develop a kind of sensitive enough microphone and microscope that you can hear a spider going, you fucking cunt. They can't be that clever.

They want to eat flies. They're mental. But they do dissolve them. Yeah. A delicious fly soup. Yeah, you're right. I've probably inevitably done that on a sauce bit of soup once before.

Oh, yeah. We must have done. I don't like thinking about it. I do. Oh, fucking love it. Insect legs and chocolate. Oh, that bullshit, yeah. There's a certain amount of legally acceptable insect legs.

Or legally required. Ah. The Capri's bar has got two glasses of milk. And then just... And then a load of insects. A third glass. full of insects. Yum, yum, yum.

Tumbling spiders. It's a really weird part of the cabri's bar when you look at it. It's just legs burst out. An upturned glass of a sheet of paper under it. House spider straight in. For good luck. Enjoy it.

There's a spider in every bite. Yeah. Spider-in-a-glass, they call it. Oh, goodness. Spider-in-a-glass. You know what they say? Spider-in-a-glass. That'll get you full. Of poison.

You have a pint of goodness. Oh, spider in a glass. What? Yeah. Can you split the ass? Of Spider? We're gonna go to the Patreon. Yes. We're gonna go right there.

If you sign up, you get an extra episode a week. Every Fry talk. You need to go to the Patreon. I don't like that. I don't like that. That's an awful ad method. Really gross. I think it's a great way to advertise it.

I will say I've got extra shows, guys. My tour show, you sit there, I'll stand here. There's extra shows all over the place. Check my website, Piannavelli.com, for tickets. The final times the show will ever be done. So go and catch it while you can. And do you want to see us live? You can see us in Bath.

Fuck, yeah. If you want to see us live, then come. Check us out in Bath on What is the day? It's in the autumn in the meantime. My tour is finished, but you can see my previous tour on Sky or Now TV. We filmed it for Sky. And you can watch it all this year. Whenever you want, it's on demand.

It's on demand. And that's in the UK and inexplicably it's in New Zealand as well. What? Yeah, you can watch it on Sky Comedy in New Zealand. The 3rd of November. Budpod live at Bath Podcast Festival at 6pm. Remember, remember. The 3rd of November.

No gunpowder. No, treason. Bud, pod. Bit of plot. Why lead with plot? Because gunpowder and treason are so much more exciting. Not just gunpowder. Not just treason.

But a plan. Oh, right, yeah, okay. Treason is a plan. Yeah, so, which is, yeah, what's that that isn't covered by that? Yeah, idiots. We'll talk about this more on the patron. Because there's children on the roof. Oh my God.

I think there was two cats fighting on the roof of the tent. Yeah, if you heard that it was a rumble that sounded like... Sonny little lurchins. Jolly little lurchins. Little urchins. Coming to jack you off. If you don't sign up to the page. It's one of those,

don't let the begpont spite. Don't let the urchins jack you off. Goji. Goji.