BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2e5 City Biscuits

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This week, the boys reflect on the arrival of Glenn’s ‘le bouffon’, the cruel censorship of Mr. Blobby and TFL’s tiring billboards. Email or Dm us your correspondence![e-mail] or DM @budpodofficial on Instagram.BudPod Live! October 12th, 2025 - Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival, London.Tickets on sale now!KOJI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 5, my dad's called Clive. Is he? No, he's not. He's Roger Moore. Oh, yeah, mad. Absolutely mad. Was he born before? It's just coincidence.

It's pure coincidence, but I guess if he was born in the 60s, then you go, Roger Moore wasn't famous by then, so that's legitimate. Them calling me, Glenn Roger Moore, is one of the most malicious things. I think he could have done. Just like, going like, it doesn't matter what's happened since your dad was young. Your middle name will be Adolf. Yeah, Glenn 9-11 Moore. 9-11 more?

Is 9-11 a net? Yeah, in France, it's a massive name. It's pronounced, Nenil-Lavins. Bonjour, I'm called 9-11. By he changed the answer. I'm called 9-11. I be paid. You have spawned again.

You've hatched another... Yeah. So we're talking about hectic schedules and stuff. You have the wretch already. And now we've got Le Bufant. I also this was a few days ago so I've got a few day old

I think this is the worst joke I've ever made as flopped in conversation was I left the hospital just to get like some food like Katie was finally able to you know was allowed by the doctors to eat again and so I went out to get McDonald's

because the McDonald's right around the corner from the hospital and I was clutching these like bags of McDonald's and I bumped into an ex-girlfriend from about 10 years ago as a first person I saw it God. Yeah. And we live in a sitcom.

No, we're all on, like, good terms and stuff like that. And she works in comedy, and I haven't seen each other in years, but we're on good terms when we do see each other, like, once every few years. And I'm up into her. And the way I was coming across was, like, guy in a war movie who's definitely about to die. Because, like, it was, she was like, how are things of you? And she got engaged, like, a few months ago. So I was like, congrats on that.

And she was like, what's new of you? Have you got a American thing you've got a kid? And I was like, as of about two hours ago, I have two. And all this stuff sounds like I'm definitely gonna visit my wife in hospital sort of thing It's like, we're gonna die I bought all these treats

Yeah And it's my last date to retirement Just see the red dot climbing climbing your fucking head But she was like How things you're on I was like yeah Katie's absolutely fine We've got a new kid

Doesn't have a name yet But it's all fine And I don't know why I thought It would be funny to say in conversation But I was like yeah It's all going really great And I just trailed off And I went

What am I saying Katie left me four years ago all of this McDonald's is for me and she she went what I'm a no no no no no it's peace

the risk well done even in that moment you thought well obviously there's a gap here I wanted to seem like John Candy at the end of playing this train I just really wanted it to be like no yeah

I'm not even wearing any shoes and I'm not even wearing any shoes and I No, I'm joking, I promise. But it was like, that was a stupid thing. That's great, though. That's great. That's such a good chance that you've not wasted there.

Thank you. But yeah, no, everything's fine. And also, you know, well done on the kid. Well done on the kid, yeah. I can't be congratulated on the Beaufort. No, me. Well, you did your part. I did my part.

But yeah, it's fine. I forget how easy the very, very beginning is, like the first few days. Because it's just like having a koala bear. Yeah. Or like an occasionally. sentient potato. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once every few hours, they sort of just make a coughing noise and you go, oh, they need

feeding and then five minutes later, they're just back down again to sleep for several hours. It is the best their life will ever be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I keep whispering that to them, enjoy this bit. Like, you'll, it's going to be fucking hell. Enjoy being essentially a sort of a slug or a puppet. Yeah, exactly, yeah.

You're the closest it's going to be in your life now to being a mobile phone. I just, we charge you. Yeah, they get charged. They get charged. They get charged. battery after a while. On the round of battery. At fucking 3 a.m.

But yeah, whereas like, human beings are the worst, of a, surely the most helpless. We wouldn't accept dogs being like that. No.

Puppies required round the clock care from a series of doctors. From a dog. You just think, well, they're all going to die then.

The dog can't be trusted with this. Yeah, obviously not. It's because we have narrow hips. The babies used to be in there for longer. Yes.

Longer than nine months. Yeah. Much longer than nine months. I think... Come out on your four. Yeah, yeah, you come out. All right, what's the business? What we're doing?

You come out. Somehow you've learned maths. You've learned handwriting. No, it was something like 18 or 16 or... Years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'd come out with a pint. Yeah, yeah, and a mortarboard hat. You got a degree from the University of Womb.

Three years, mate, University of Womb. That would be a good thing to start saying. Nine months, University of Womb, yeah? University of my mum. So I've learned a thing or two actually. I learned a thing or two in there. I always find so funny when they say, like 20 years, mate, University of Life.

And you're, how haven't you graduated? 20 years? You've been at university for 20 years. You've did a PhD at the University of Life and now you're a professor there. You're Nolson from the Simpsons and you keep having to retake the year. Or you're an incredibly successful but weird academic who's not moving uni. Yeah, yeah, yeah. PhD straight into teaching.

Well, you're like you're Matthew McConaughey and like you just go, you just hang around in order to fuck the other professors. The thing I like about professors, I get older, they stay the same. Thing I like about pro-vice chancellors. Matthews-Lacconi is putting on a big gown and going to one of those big ceremonies. Right, right, right. They throw their hats up in the air and go on catch them with my teeth. But, yes, I mean, that's one of the reasons why your schedule has been so hectic, is you've been preparing for the arrival of the sentient potato.

Preparing for the arrival of the sentient potato. And now that's in, I'm like, great, I can get, I can work. That's what life's all about. Back to toil. Back to toil. Yeah, I felt like it was weird being in the hospital with my laptop out, just doing, like, work at night. I was like, I do, I'm really sorry, but I do have to do work. I have to write these jokes.

Yeah. It's funny when it's jokes, because I think if you were a war nurse and you saw a husband with his laptop out late at night typing, going, oh, I've just got to get this done. You're thinking, like, white paper for the government. You're thinking, registering the child. Registring the child. be kid related, yeah. Or it's like work that is like, look, if we don't do this, Honduras will go bankrupt. Yeah, yeah. It's sort of IMF or something. Yeah. And instead, like, if they were to look

at your screen and it's just bum, bum, bum. Yeah, yeah. What if a poo came out of your face? Those fall of the bits on it. But yeah, it's, uh, oh, and the radio four series is recording next week. That's probably why I'm so stressed. But yeah, I just, I feel so embarrassed to writing out comedy. Like, I feel silly writing on a laptop. It feels like it's disrespectful to the laptop. It's disrespectful to Google Docs, I think. I feel like, you know, I'm like, thank God I'm not writing this in a spreadsheet. That would feel even worse. But I feel like I need to show it some respect and try and make it not seem like it's comedy that you're writing. Yeah, and every parent graph of stand-up you're trying to write out and refine with something to do

with the economic forecasting. Yeah. I try and write as vaguely as possible, but in many ways, that makes it worse because someone reading over your shoulder on a tube just sees like, there's something about come, question mark? It's a guy trying to get his memories Yeah, and you sort of go, is that, is he working at like an IVF clinic? He's working at an IVF clinic. It's something about come. He's, he's, we can, we can harness its power somehow.

He's talked his way into a job at the IVF clinic. He's Frank Abagnale from Catch Me if you can. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's there just going, actually, this is one of the jobs that I think I can do. It's weird that Frank Aberneill never did like, like, he never did that teenage boy thing. You'd imagine of just sort of like, he blacked his way into one. working at a strip club. Yeah.

Like instead it's always like, no, I want to work on the maternity ward or whatever. And you go, you're so sinister man. Or just like. This is Ted Bundy behavior. Or I want to work at like a finance company. Like boring, like quite hard boring jobs, really. Yeah. Was it just for the love of a game?

Like he was just a compulsive. Well, he's just sort of hiding or yeah, kind of narcissism or I don't know. I mean, it's also like I think we need to deduct some points because he's pretending to be a surgeon in an era where surgery was much cruder. Yeah. They get you to bite down on a lead ball Some bits right through it Catch me if you can

1750s edition is just like Well he can read so he is a surgeon Yeah But his bigger thing is not getting arrested by the authorities But people not thinking he's a witch That's what he's hoping at all times Yeah yeah Because they go wait you can drive

You can ride a wagon And you can perform a leg amputation You know numbers? Yeah I don't like this sound You're a warlock 1300s catch me if you can Is a guy dumbing himself down in order to not be burned

as a witch. That's what it should be. Trying to come up with a different explanation for how he knew what that sign said. That isn't reading. Yeah, and Tom Hanks is just this horrible witch finder. I would watch that. Yeah, if it never works the other way, people never done themselves down.

Tom Hanks would be a great witch finder if he kept his charming, fun, happy, friendly demeanor. Yeah. But was trying to find people to burn. Yeah, but a lot of women are being burned. And it's sort of like, I sent it to you to the ducking stall. And he's just really cheery and Tom Hankson nice about it.

Yeah. The ducking stall is the real Woody. It can talk. Yeah, yeah. Just screams. I would watch that. Have you seen, I can never, sometimes, you know, when you watch a film and you think, I think I dreamt this. There is a film.

Jacking off my dad. Have you seen that film? My nude parents are as big as the sky. Have you seen that film? They're the whole sky and I'm running, I'm running forever into the horizon. Have you seen that? Yeah. Was it in the Oscar?

Yeah. It was a DiCaprio nomination. It was at A24. Yeah, A 24. It's definitely A 24. It's so A24, yeah. It was part of the, it was part of the McConnornaissance. Matthew O'Connor was the screaming moon in the naked mom and dad's sky as I sprinted forever to the horizon.

Yes? Yeah. It's so horrible that it involves both. parents makes it so much better. Nail it down to one. You can't be Oedipal and Electoral at the Saita. You can't do both. Yeah, yeah. It's like Pokemon. You have to choose. Yeah. At the start of the game, the guy's saying, by the way, do you have an Edipal or an electric complex? Yeah. Charmander. It's, I think it's sinister as if someone like admitted to you on a date, they were like, just let you know, I've got real cousin issues. What? You get, cousin issues? Issues. Yeah. What do you mean?

Daddy issues, but cousin issues. Because I've got cousin issues. I've got second cousin twice removed issues. Yeah, I have a real kink for the vibe you get from someone who you see once every 17 years. Yeah, oh, spank me, Auntie-in-law. There's a website for it. Has to be. Who's the fucking guy who...

Paul Rudd. Right. There's a sci-fi movie where Paul Rudd is a frightening villain. No. It's like a blade runner and he's got a big... Like, I drive a Harley Davidson mustache and like long hair. Like he's like a Fumanchu mustache. Well, like a biker.

Right, okay. Like a motorhead mustache. Kind of like his mustache in Anchorman. But motorhead. Down. Properly all the way down. Yeah. So like Lemmy.

Like I'm a mechanic. Right. And long hair. Right. Maybe a mullet. And he's like a horrible creepy guy. Uh, producer Felipe is currently Googling nude parents are chasing me. Hmm?

Yes. Mute. Mute. What's the premise of mute? It's a tech noir. What year is it? this. Recent.

Yeah. He was trying to depole rut himself, I think, by playing a creep in the way that I think, you know, Hugh Grant has done so well. Oh, yeah, yeah. In Heretic, which still gets advertised on tube stations coming out last September. The only thing that is... The only thing that's advertised more consistently than Heretic is fucking Mamma Mia. And it's such a London-only routine I want to do, but I want to...

I've got to laugh from it once. I'm so sick of just seeing that woman's face. Yeah, yeah. She's not in the film. She's not in a film. She's not in the film. She's not to play. That's not who it is.

It's Mamma Mia, heretic and Shenyon. In the in the unupdatable GTA advert screens of London, it's heritage. Did they just buy? Is it a, are the, of a, of a Schenian billboards are listed? You cannot. That's a big part of London's cultural heritage. heritage. That's like Battersea Power Station. It's like painting over Nelson's column or something You cannot do it. It's a mural. It's not even a photo. It's a mural. It's a mural of people holding their

leg up alongside their head. Wearing initially quite exotic costumes and the longer you stare, you realize they are they are primary school level costumes. They're like actually once you look, you go, oh, they're incredibly cheap. I'm just fascinated because you go, the poster gives no indication of what it is. It's either dancing, but what if it's a bit like, there's a video game that came out a couple of months ago called Toa T. And it's basically a video game in which a boy's disability is, he's just in a permanent T-shape. His arms are. So like the T-Po's glitch from video games. It's a game based entirely on the T-Po's glitch. And the idea is, is his kid navigating his school life, but his arms were in this T-shape? And it's a really fun sweet game. It's by the people who made Katamari Damasi.

But I'm like, is Shenyan possibly about five people, conjoined quintuplets, whose legs are at a right angle? And that's just how they negotiate. And they sort of get shifted across a stage in a large clothes light. They just bounce, yeah. Yeah, and then they just go, help me, but the curtains close again. Yeah, fuck. And everyone. Yeah, everyone, the eight of us in the Hammersmith Apollo. If you haven't seen this, guys, it says, Shen Yun, and it's a picture of these dancers, mainly it's the men with their leg up on their face, sometimes it's the ladies. And the caption just says, China before communism. And then a bunch of reviews that are just like, fantastic, mind blowing, and then underneath just some stars, no attribution kind of. Yeah, or you go sort of like,

sorry, is the publication called mind-blowing. Is a masterpiece, the name of the magazine that's given the... But I always wonder if you took a set. For venues, they're in, are enormous. It's like stadium level. I swear Hammers-Smith Apollo is the main London one. And I always imagine if you turned up, like, if you turned up, it's just you. And they're on stage just like reading a book or having a cigarette or whatever.

And as soon as they see you walk in, they go, oh, the fuck. Okay, right. Guys, we've got to do the show tonight. Someone's come in. Yeah, it would be like a... a front organization. Well, it is the Falun Gong. Yes.

It's the Falun Gong that put it on as a way of being anti-Chinese Communist Party, I think. Yes, my only previous experience of Falun Gong was going past, I used to have to drive past the Chinese Embassy every morning where there's the 24-hour protest outside the Chinese Embassy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's been there for years and years and years. But yeah, I just, I want to go to, I want to go to Shenyan. I want to go and see it. Let's do it. Let's go to see. Kenyon, heretic, and Mamma Mia.

And we'll see, we'll do the Billboard Triple. The London Billboard Triple. The London Underground Billboard Triple. I cannot wait. Because also we should be grateful that none of those three things use that London Underground Wackaging, you know, they're not twee. No, they're very, very on the nose. You used to live near a shop that was the most blatant front I've ever seen.

Like not even trying. It's, but poorly rendered video game level sort of thing. Crazy. Yeah, there's somewhere, Katie went into one a few weeks ago. And sometimes it happens. You just walk into the shop and you realize as you've walked in. You feel like Joe Pesci at the end of Goodfellas. You go, oh, no.

Ah, fuck, this is empty. And now I've got to have an awkward conversation with the shopkeeper who now feels super awkward because he's like, shit, what can I pretend we're selling? And he's like, rifling through his pockets and being like, just the one set of car keys you wanted today, wasn't it? Yes, thank you. Just the one set of car keys. And I'll just get any money, you need any money for that, you know. And it's like you try and buy a bottle of like baking hot Pepsi Max.

And there's no fridges. Freshly loyal. Pepsi Max. Piping hot just the way you like it. Pepsi Max has been left near a heating pipe from some other industrial building. Yes, yeah, yeah. There's always smoke coming out like in an 80s movie. And you put it down the till and they're like, uh, and then they have to pretend to tap their

till a bit while like a kid's kitchen. It's a toy. And they get a ding. What do you? Yeah, what would you? A till when ding. So I think this transaction's over. Can you get out, please?

I think it's done. I went in and it was, they didn't even have a till. And the guy was genuinely like, go. He had his feet up. And initially I thought, okay, it might not be a front because the guy's, the till, and there's no till. And the thing he's sitting behind is just like bits of wood arranged in a cube, like glued, like made from scrap. But visually, I can see bottles of soft drink.

I think I can see milk. I can see biscuits. It's like a news agent, no booze, but fine. And then it was sort of like, as I got closer, it was very Truman show. I thought, oh, some digestives. Because I was coming to yours for a writing meeting. And I went, oh, digestives. And I went, oh.

And they were called city biscuits. And they were like the color and shape of digestives, but like no, like so little information on them. You're in one of those Alzheimer's supermarkets where they let you put the fake items in the bar. This just says weaty flakes. Yeah. And it's a pint of milk. So I don't know. Breakfast time. Yeah.

These lumps in like packaging, like Christmas presents. So I just went, I can't even go through the rigmarole. I just left and the guy's not even looking up now. Jesus. He's just watching a sitcom from a different country on his phone loudly. Do you reckon fronts of the other way around? So like actually it's almost like a back. So like the bit of a shop you go into is like an illegal gun shop or it's clearly like a cockfighting ring.

But when you go out the back, they make. He's wonderful handcrafted all of them. These are beautiful cupcakes. It's beautiful. It's marvelous. There's anecdotes people tell about going to like an obvious like front for the Italian mob in New Jersey and saying, just not realizing. I mean, can I have a pizza? And like seven guys playing cards being like, all right.

I'll make you the best damn pizza. But apparently it's amazing. It's just like an actual. Because it makes you a resentment pizza. Yeah. But it takes like 40 minutes to an hour because the guy's just there on his own making it like he's doing home cooking. Wow. Maybe Burger King's a front because they feel.

fucking hate it when you want to could I have a burgh but Burger King everyone who works at Burger King works there like they're in a timeout like it's like they keep looking over their shoulder to see someone like can I

go now? There's a community service thing what's like they're in detention if someone sentenced you to 800 hours of community service you'd go with the flow at a certain point you'd go look I'll just do this to done. Yeah. It looks like they've all been told they only have to work at Burger King because they've been bad for half an hour. Yeah, like an overtime ship. They're all on an overtime ship.

They keep checking to see if the half an hour is over. Can I go now? Yeah. They've got that kind of attitude to them. And it's also just bad. I think Burger King is bad. I went through a phase of, I don't mind Burger King. It's just very expensive. It's super expensive for what it is. It's weirdly expensive. Yeah. It's like if you get a meal, it's like 13 pounds. And you go, that's a main, that's a main course a restaurant. I can't, why can't this country do cheap beef?

McDonald's, but we can't. It's like, but even then. Approximately beef. It's, can I have the approximately beef burger, please?

Can I have memory beef? Beef memory. I have to almost think about when I say Burger King because I went through a phase of just annoying people by pronouncing it like a verb. Like Burger King

as like an activity. And so, but I did it. Now I have to like actively think about it so I don't say Burger King. Hang on, let me try that. Yeah. Burger King.

Yeah, it sounded wrong, yeah. The act of burghicking. Burger king. Yeah. Should we go Burger King? Yeah, yeah. Should we go Burger King later? Have you ever burguicked?

I burkeak, yeah. I like putting in those past tense. May I burghate? Yeah, it's like our friend Tom, he took me to some, what it was like a work do of his, because he was given like a plus one. And I think he was like single at the time. I'll just bring one of my. friends and it was like a black tie event and it was really fancy and so we used to just say with

regards to sort of like like instead of like because he was wearing such black tie but i thought he's probably wearing a cumma bund or something yeah and instead of saying did you are you wearing a cumma bun i said did you did you come a bun and he revealed it to me he said oh i came a bun any past parties were like that i'm like i'm really into it's always burger king no one ever enjoyed me saying it or anything like that have you got with with your fiancee any like bits you do that have never been entertaining but you just do.

Yeah, I sort of do this towards but never quite touch her stomach. That's fucking horrible. I thought you were gonna these like, I'd hate that. Yeah. Oh no, everyone hates it.

Someone nearly tickling you. Someone very nearly. Someone nearly touching your eyes. Proding. It's fun. Not I. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's an annoying thing I do.

Yeah, that's horrible. That's really horrible. annoying songs you i think we're in prime uh song season because it's been really hot and i need to be very careful about why sing in the car because i'll just sing along to anything on the radio and just just change it for my own amusement yeah but we'll find myself on the motorway just like it's a chimpanzee crashing through your parents can serve a tree and you go what it's imperative no one is I had this one at traffic lights about 10 years ago was sat at traffic lights and tattoo came on the radio.

Do you remember that Russian duo? But I was just sat in the car full blast, just gonna fuck your dad, gonna fuck your dad, gonna fuck your dad, gonna fuck your dad. And I looked over and just my windows were open and just I was at traffic lights with just a man in the next car alone. Gonna fuck your dad, gonna fuck your dad.

But also the thing about that joke is that there is a wide, I don't know if it's the majority of type of bloke in the UK. Yeah. But it's close to the majority. It's like 30% of guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, one in three. So same amount of colourblind, I guess. Yeah.

Wouldn't understand whether it was funny and would find it like gross and weird and horrified. You sing the wrong song. They go like, it's all the thing she said. No, but not even the pedants. I just mean they'd be like, why dad, er, gay dad, dad. You go, no, that's why it's such a mad thing to say. Yeah, I just want to fuck your dad. specifically your dad.

You, sir, over there. Yeah, yeah. No, no, behind you, other guy. I, uh, what was I singing the other day? Um, I think I sent you a voice note of it. Taunting a cat with my ball bag. Playing a dangerous game. Doing it just for the glory.

Do it for victory. I really enjoy it. Where you go, if the song had been released like that, the sort of song that, the sort of song would make people stop in a supermarket and go, what? I can't be right. Why are you telling me?

Lots of people, like, Finn Taylor's talked about this on his podcast, because he cited me, or on a podcast, I remember. He cited me as the first person he spoke to when he realized that people heard lyrics. What? And knew about lyrics and cared about lyrics. He just cares about, like, beat and rhythm and, like, lyrics are kind of there for him, but not really. And a lot of people are like that.

Wow. I think a decent, proportion of the population would have just been like, they come on my bar back. They wouldn't even have known. It's an odd one. I don't really care a great deal about lyrics. But if someone says la la la or nah, nah, nah in a song, I'm like, do

the job, please. You go, sorry, Paul McCartney, you accidentally said me. Sorry, you blacked the end of Hey, do for four minutes. You accidentally send me, I think, the wrong Microsoft Word file. Yeah. I think you sent me the early version of this

draft. Yeah, I think that's fair. Because he could just, I'm gonna suck off your time. Like, just do about for four minutes. We have like a whole choir and they'll sing it. You're like repeat to fade. It's like a big bit of any concert that he does. Yeah. Yeah, lyrics aren't really something I feel. I mean, like my, my attitude towards music is a very strange one that doesn't have really any consistency. And so lyrics, I'm like, I really appreciate nice, lovely lyrics. Of course I do. But it's a bit incidental for me, I think. I realize something, a real bit of pedantry. I have about music is I'm fine listening to, like, movie music.

Yeah. And movie soundtracks. I feel great doing that. It's a big epic theme or anything like that. It feels really, really great. But I can't with TV show music. And it makes me feel silly. And I can't do it.

Because you're thinking, I'm listening to the soundtrack of a TV show. I don't, for some reason, it just lessens it. Even though they're both the same culturally, they're both worth the same amount. It makes me feel stupid. Video game music, absolutely fine. Like, I don't mean, like, B, bop, I mean, like, something with like an actual, you know, like, but like, if a piece of music came on, it turned out to be from, like,

Lord of the Rings, great. But if I was, like, listening to the radio on a theme play, and they go, and that's from Game of Thrones, but I feel stupidness. I shouldn't. And I feel stupid in retrospect, but I was going to ask if it's changed in the era of streamers because what I thought would have been that it's stupid because you think this is just supposed to be a silly half-hour thing,

whereas movies, you go and you sit and you watch. It's an event and, yeah. And games you go, oh, you play it for weeks. So is it the brevity of the TV show that makes you go, oh, there's hundreds of these episodes, who cares? It's so dumb. Like, listening to the Frasier theme on my way into work. But just, I can't.

Well, the Frasier theme changes every episode. No other sitcom on TV show has ever done that, with the opening theme changes like 20 times a season. What? Frazier, then the beginning of Frasier, it's like a different piano sting nearly every episode. No, same time. I've never realized this.

Different collection notes, almost every time. But it's a different, but it's the same song at the end. It's the same song at the end the blues are calling. I think of the end song more is the theme, to be honest with you. Yeah, that's the only way around. That's the only one where it goes that way around, I think.

As a child, the idea of salad with hot scrambled eggs mixed in was so fucking disgusting to me. It's a horrible song. A boiling hot fragment of egg, wilting a piece of lettuce, all in a big stinky egg bum bowl. It's like it's been rifted in the car. Yeah.

And you go, Why are you telling me this? Why are you telling me this? Felipe, what's the verdict on? Gravy and ice cream, be it to a dog. Add some hair. Chew it. He's ruined the episode in retrospect now.

I don't enjoy this show anymore. The end of Frasier is a brief moment of food texture horror. Just as like a palate cleanser. Like, well, I don't know about that, Ros. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Pubes and soup. And then you go, ah.

Now it's time for the Simpsons. I don't want to watch the Simpsons after that I have to sit on my own and think about it this There are multiple variations of the same There we go Wow fuck I need to So it turns out you don't listen to fucking music Yeah

I just listen to the It's getting in the way of the silence I listen to the soundtrack of the script Of a Fraser episode Just the audio only Audio only Audio only phrasier episodes That's my whole Spotify

It's very very sinister Oh something I did Oh, I should say hello as well And thank you to all the pod buds Who came to Our old dad came back Oh yeah, you did a live event, didn't you? We did a live event with Phil-Wai

That sounded really fun It sounded like you guys At a real good time Yeah, you're fun without me You're our new dad You have to accept this Yeah, I figure it But weirdly, the original dad

Is the one who gets you on weekends The stepdad is now It's like the permanent role Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. But thank you to the poddbots who came to that. It was very nice of you.

And Sarah Cox. And Sarah Cox. And Claire Hamilton, who she does the Teen Commandments podcast with, which is very good. Check that out. It was good fun. Here's an odd thing. I got the impression that quite a few of the people there didn't know Phil had gone. Oh.

Because he mentioned it. And Phil said this as well. He was like, yeah, I agree that that's how it felt. Because, you know, as stand-ups, we can feel when a crowd reacts to a certain way. And even though this is something that's very hard to explain to non-stand-ups, we can feel the difference between a disagreement silence, a confused silence, a shocked silence. Yes, yeah, yeah.

The texture of the air is different. There's energy, it can be frosty and prickly. It's the only time I believe in aura as a concept. It's the only time I believe in it. There's some sort of vibe that we're picking up on at an animal level. And with practice, you get better at understanding the silences and why they happen. When I mentioned it or he mentioned it or one of us mentioned it, there was a kind of, like a kind of, like in the room, where the people were going, oh.

And I think there might be people who came to that who are like 14 episodes behind. Oh, so it's like how we get neighbours six months after Australia. But in Sheffield, inexplicably, they get Budpodge really late. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, through the Sheffield firewall. Wow. I think this is my theory. What a way to find out? I know, live from people laughing about it.

So it probably looked like it was, that probably felt like a, like news happening live of Phil being like, I'm leaving. Yeah. I'm live here tonight. I don't want to do this. We're a president. Yeah, he abdicated.

If a president accidentally said, you know, since I resigned this morning. Yeah. What? It's like in an interview being watched by people. You'd shit yourself. Yeah. Strange. But still, thank you for coming.

And nice to meet some of you. And also last. Yeah. We'll be hearing this in just a half a year's time. Yes, yeah, yeah. Good luck back then. And I did a conversation with Robin Ince at the Bradford Literary Festival. And there were some pod buds there.

Thank you for coming to that. Very nice. We're talking about neurodivergence and creativity and so on. So I should just say thank you for that. And we will be putting a chunk of the Sarah Cox bit of the live podcast on main feed. and then the actual bit with just me and Phil the first 45 minutes or so

that'll be on Patreon for our VIPs. I'll give that a listen and sit in a cuck chair while I do it and be talking to somebody else. We should have got it so that Phil dropped me off

at your house with like a big lolly. Yeah. You should have had me on stage watching you. But I was in the corner of which just rubbing my knees. Watching like this.

And sometimes I do have to look away. Sometimes I'm like, I know I'm turned on, but I need to, sometimes I'm like, it is a bit too much. Like, emotionally it's not good for me. Yeah, that would have been good. People would have liked that. It would have made it so much more like a play. Yeah, and audience is going, who is that? And he doesn't like to be acknowledged.

Like, he actually prefers it if we don't look at, like, if we pretend he's not in the room. We have, we just, what do you mean? Who's who? Who's who? Who? Who is who? And you're walking around with like your hand over your point. I don't see anybody, but almost tripping over me.

I see nobody here. I think he's going. Phil should have dropped me off at your house with like a big lolly. And I should have run in and talked about all the kind of like age and appropriate toys that Phil was buying me. And you would have just had to go, that sounds nice. Yeah. When he's older, he'll realize it's actually, it's actually not that nice to buy a 10-year-old, a big knife. Yeah.

And he'll know. No, it sounds like he's another Netflix special. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's both of us doing that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. But yes, thank you.

Nice to see Pod Bud's IRL as always. To see you? Bud Pod. To see you, Bad Pod. That's right. What horrible phrase that would be to it. It's so hard to understand. It's a good night from me and it's a good night from Bud Pod.

I've had to understand so much British culture like I'm going through a resident evil mission. You see, tattered bits of notes. Yeah, just going, Bruce Forsyth used to host this show. Now he hosts this show. And also he can dance. The oldest man you've ever seen who had a reputation for being horrible is the most loved person. Yeah, and you just go, right, okay. And he does like a strong man pose at the beginning.

And that's loved for some reason. Yeah, he does a strong man pose. So then you go, right, so I'll look through the notes for when he was a strong man at the Olympics. No, no, no. Okay. Why does he do a strong man pose? I'm afraid that's the end of the notepad. We don't know.

We just don't know. All that kind of stuff. All the kind of like national treasures from the 80s. Baffling. Completely incomprehensible to me. Well, obviously a lot of them ended up being sex offenders. Yeah. And you probably would have found out about when they became sex offender or when they were unleashed.

Well, that made me feel more justified with respect to some of them because they were always. I think with a lot of them, it was frog and boiling water. where like it was back in that era where you just watched what was on TV and you accepted it and so everyone forgot that how weird it was and how clearly appear yeah you look at Mr. Blobby now for instance and the idea of him how didn't we know of hiding in plain sight

was the name of the documentary the idea of him leading in any sort of militia just seems completely implausible Blobby was hiding in plain sight and we knew it you know those pictures of the IRA when they do those things and then there's just a blobby Mr. Blobby and a belloclava you go well now we know it's him obviously it looks a lot

like him, but at the time it was impossible to tell. Yeah, every time he, yeah, every time he sort of absolutely trash Null's, you know, house and leave a note saying, you know, we need to, I need to be lucky once, you need to be lucky once. Yeah, when Mr. Blobby smashed his way through that Brighton hotel and nearly killed Thatcher. Master of Blobby. We say, oh.

Up the blah. Up the blob. And then, like, you go through a certain neighbourhood. in Belfast, obviously, and he's on this mural. He's straight by the two years. You won't see him in Parliament. It's me. You've never seen Blobby in Parliament ever.

It's Mr. Blubby with an armour-light rifle. And then on his left is Amon de Valera. On his right as Bobby Sands. You go, wow, he's crucial. It's actually crucial. He was so untrustworthy. The BBC had to double my phone with blib-blop-y-blop. He's actually the...

He was like Martin Bick and it's like really rational. The whole time he was smashing through all those plates he was just going, a United Island is possible in our lifetimes. Michael Collins was right. It was a TV every like channel four all the size. He was on like the big breakfast. We will not have this blob agitating for the betrayal of the ladies is not for blobs. And the controversy when the SAS killed him.

And he was technically unarmed. A lot of English people don't even know about this. It's just, we weren't in our history lesson. It's not taught. It's just a part of our history that we just don't know about it. And then post-Blob Friday agreements, obviously. He's going to stay with me for the rest of my life. The idea that he was dubbed is so funny.

He was actually saying like incredibly perceptive things about... You see us on the TV being like, they're making me look stupid. That was galeigh. That was galeigh. He was speaking Irish a lot of the time. They had to dub that. They thought that was in flame.

That was someone's job to go into a studio at the BBC. We're reading a script going, blib, blah, blah, blah. This doesn't feel right to do. They had to get the army to do it No actors would do it In solidarity The weirdest

The weirdest thing I think About Jerry Blobby Is the really about Mr. Blubby Is that there's only one of him So where did he come from? Yeah I believe I just sprung out of the ground

Delved too deep greed of the dwarves What is this new devil way? Oh blobby A demon from the ancient world Blobby That's power is beyond any of you Blobby's in the deep

There's last inscriptions of the dwarves You know blobby breathes so loud I could have shot him in the dark Your blobby It's horrible It's true though Did he hatch or Yeah from a

I think not even an egg It was just pure Like A sort of a plasma bag He hatched from a of plasmery bag thing that came from space. He was in a meteor. Yeah, like, you know how an alien?

The facehugger is like a different species to the xenomorph, but it births the xenomorph. I don't know how that makes any sense. Yes, it's sort of like the same thing of how... The caterpillar? Yeah, it's like a caterpillar. And did you know this? That this, when the caterpillar gets into the cocoon, it fully turns into goo. Oh, and then reshapes itself.

Yeah. Like Terminator. So I wonder how many kids have been sort of like, let's see inside and let's see how it's getting on. It's close it. Don't look at me. It's gloop. Because you think it would be a caterpillar inside there going, time to like putting on wings.

Yeah. It's not. It's, like, is it a new thing then? Because it was, it's made of the same goo, but it's a new structure. That's horrible. Yeah. Why did you tell me that? I wanted to see what you think.

What do you think? Should I pitch it? It's not true. Should I tell people that? Shall I write it down and post it through the letterboxes of everyone on my street? Shall I do that? And crayon? Watch out.

But in really expensive paper. So there's something quite unsettling about it. Like that thick parchment that you see. Yeah. And you go, like wedding invitation. Yeah. And it's like a wax seal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, with a caterpillar stamped on it. And caterpillar is the goo. Caterpillar, did you know? And then at the end, it just says, good luck. Good luck. Yeah. And like someone doing a parody of a child.

Like the S is the wrong way around. Yeah. But also, weirdly the O's are the wrong way around. You can just tell the O's of the wrong way around. Drawn backwards. Yeah, I don't know how that's been done. Yeah. Do you know what I did the other day just to see what it would feel like? And I don't know why. I did, I put on my rucksack other arm first. Because I suddenly thought, I don't think I've ever put on my rucksack on the whole way. I tried to do it as a packet of crisp once. I was like, I've only ever had bag in the left hand and as I'm right hand and eat with the right. And then I tried to switch one time to like bag in the right hand eat with the left. And I was like this is disgust. And I was like, this is disgusting. Yeah. I feel like I'm pushing it's magnets pushing against each other. So I just decided to do it my rucks at the other day. I couldn't do it. Really? Yeah, I think I say something just more about me than this obviously will happen to you if you try it.

But yeah, I found it really difficult. Try that at home. Let us know. Yeah, see if it makes you feel as disgusting as it made me feel. That was in the recovery ward, by the way. That's how I spent my time before we were discharged from hospital. Again, the nurse goes, I'm just going to see how that guy writing bum jokes is getting on. And you're there just going, can you help me with his back?

I feel sick. I feel sick from the bag. And they're just going, we're very busy. We're very busy. Please. A bit I've done to Katie a lot That she's never enjoyed

Is if ever I'm up and about On like a weekend earlier than her And so she's in bed But I'm not Yeah But I kneel by her bedside I love And clasped my hands together

And I go like Oh dear Lord Please allow her to pass On the other side In a painless fashion Oh Lord Listen to it And I really scrunched my eyes up

Oh Lord please help I know her agues are common no paltis will suffice no No unction Desperate begging peasant is a very funny thing While someone's asleep to go Please take her into your arms in a quaint fashion If you're the person lying in bed

You're like fuck off I'm sleeping Yeah I'm I've remembered a bit My fiancée forgets things a lot In my opinion Doesn't remember what I'm doing Because I don't have a routine Yes

So she'll be like Are you free tomorrow And I'll be like When I'm in Glasgow Yeah And she'll go, oh, yeah. So what I started doing is she was trying to type something. And I sort of did like, you know, there's head massages.

I did that on her head with two hands. And I said, the power of the mind, mind, mind, mind, the power of memory, memory, memory. And now that's the thing I say when she forget something. Oh, so whenever Katie forget something over text, I just sent her a screenshot of Anthony Hopkins having a breakdown at the end of the father. I want my mummy. I just send her a bitch for crying. It's not like Well in real life now

I'll say to Joe Well no I can remember because I What are you doing now? I'm going I've got that festival gig I've got to go to Bristol for Oh yeah I'll just say

The power of the mind The power of memory And it's all you have to do And she goes I know Yeah I really like a memory As a subsection of mind It makes I really like how that sounds

The power of the mind, mind, mind the power of memory. It's very Twilight Zone. Yeah. It's very satisfying to do. I recommend it. I'm going to give it a go in front of the mirror later. Do.

Mail, letter, post, message, email, notes, text, dispatches, SMS, and randoms. Correspondence. So a quick bit of correspondence. Yeah. This is from Jen? Well, I don't know who the fuck that is. Who's that? Well, let's find out.

No. I shouldn't have to. I shouldn't have to. No. And yet. Hi, Pierre and Glenn. Longtime listener, second time contributor. Oh.

Very much enjoying the second series, in particular, Austin Powers holiday Hitler. Did you see a Budpod, no context Budpod? With the actual image from Downfall. With Austin Powers in the back looking worried. I loved it.

I really, really loved it. And with, I don't know if you have this with any sort of broadcasting thing, be it radio podcasting, where the moment you leave the studio, you kind of forget everything that's just happened and you sort of severance yourself. Yeah, yeah.

And you go into a lift where you go, and I have a habit of doing that. And so suddenly seeing that image flash up, it was like, what is this person done? And then I spotted Austin Powers and it was like, there we go, okay. I thought we're just sending us a picture of Hitler's bunker. I was like, is that a threat?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or an invitation. Is that what you think Budpod sounds like? Which is worthy of a place on Budpud, Matt Rushmore. Hey. Very nice. retat in a bit to become less of a consumer. I've become a user of Vinted for recycling secondhand clothes.

I'm not quite sure how this made its way into my recommendations, but the algorithm offered me this t-shirt with its simple stark message and your tat whispering skills came to mind. I'm not sure if it's tat if it's a sort of novelty t-shirt, but I do like it from Jen. It is a white t-shirt and it says, I mean, I don't think you'll be able to guess this. My what tastes like what, always fresh, always tasty.

Is it, what a BBFC age rating would this be given at the cinema? 15 or 18. Okay. Probably 18. Male or female t-shirt or unisex? A male. Right. Is it?

Well, yeah, it's my pussy. Yeah, figured. It's my pussy. The word pussy has written in big pink letters. Okay. The rest isn't quite so but black letters. And then I'll give you a clue. So it's my pussy tastes like blank.

That blank is a big corporate logo of the name. And what were the final word, sorry? Always fresh, always tasty. Fresh and tasty. The power of the mind, mind. The power of memory, memory. Fresh and tasty. You've read these words before, Glenn, Glenn.

You've seen them in the shop, sharp, shop. Fresh and tasty. Food and tasty. Right. I'm glad it's a food. They sell drinks. Yeah, okay. Oh, man, food.

I try to think like what is. like Campbell's meatballs or something. Can you imagine? What the fuck? My pussy tastes like Granny Smiths. You go, do you mean the apple? I'll leave that. I hope you mean the apple. I'll leave that for you to decide. Always fresh, but nothing's always fresh. Or is it? Always fresh, always tasty. I'm going to need another clue. I'm so sorry. It's more popular in the north in the south. Bovril. It tastes like Bovril.

I have to go to hospital. My pussy takes like Henderson's relish. Sam Smith's pubs. Oh, God. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Greggs.

Yeah, I mean, obviously from Newcastle. I was going to weirdly say the bread that they have specifically in the Newcastle, Gregs. It's a big circular bread that's nice. Stotties. Yeah. I thought it was going to maybe be Stottie. No, it's my pussy tastes like Greg's. Okay. But then that just seems like my pussy tastes like a man, like, like, like, like Greg's pussy. Like Greg's pussy. It's like Greg's. Yeah. Oh, right. Is it always fresh

and always taste? The very same. That's it. Yeah. So it's like saying to someone, sorry, what does your pussy taste like? And they go, um, like Greg's. Yeah. And you know they've tasted Greg's and you go, okay. Yeah. And then we sort of go like, what does your brother do for a living here? Is that? What's your middle name? Yeah, like that. I like to ask that to friends in a very, like, concerned way, if I'm hanging out of them as sort of like, how's you know,

how's you had happened or whatever? Just like, I would say, and how's your fucking asshole? Bitterness in the comment as well, as though they've taken it from you. But you say, you say fucking in a friend he went,

how's your fucking asshole? That's got a similar aspect to the burghurking thing. Yeah, it's really off. It's really off. Well, for more of things, we're going to go to the VIP section of the podcast,

now to the podcast. now to the Patreon. Big thank you to all of our VIPs who will be enjoying this week at bonus episode of the first 45 minutes of me talking to my old dad. But otherwise, we will see you guys next Wednesday.

Thank you very much for listening. Glenn and I will both be at the Edinburgh Fringe for the whole month. So do come and see us. A lot of you have gotten in touch on Instagram saying you've already got your tickets to both of our shows. Hey, great.

So we'll see you there. Koji and thank you.