BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2E58 | Noseless Fashionista

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Full episode out on YouTube here!This week the buds discuss Glenn's origin story, Esperanto, Italian Harry Potter, Krishnamurti and parody syndrome.This week's sketch: 'Voldemorto'Email or Dm us your correspondence to [e-mail] or @budpodofficial on Instagram. KOJI!BudPod Live is back!Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival - October 10, 2026 - Tickets available here.Bath Komedia - November 3rd, 2026 - Tickets available here.Stream Glenn's tour show 'Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore' on Sky Comedy and NowTVVote here for BudPod for this year's Golden Lobes, Listeners' Lobe award! Thank you guys! KOJI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Bud Pod Pod 58. Ceramic plate. Yeah. Ceramic plate. 58. Is that the rhyme? No. There can't be one for 58.

No. But 57 we established last week was Heinz varieties. Yeah, mad. Absolutely mad. I mean, like, when they were sitting there, the bingo callers and they were going, 50, half century, okay, 51, nothing, 52, nothing. What was it at 57? You think they were like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

It makes me believe that they have one. But when they came up with the bingo calls back in the day, they had chat GPT then. Because they tied it in and went, what could we say for 50? Like, they asked, they had to consult some Oracle. What is their 57 of? Yes. But it would be really old chat GPT, so it would be like, girls' feet, of course. Types of musket.

I think it's 57 girls' feet in the world. Yeah, use the Bristol feet chart. can see which, which type of foot are you? Some sort of phrenology through feet. Yeah. The foot of a criminal. The foot of a leader. Yeah, like World War II propaganda.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we have the foot of Jerry? Jerry's, a hun feet. But like, it's a phrenologist who's also a foot fetishist. So he's like, never mind the forehead. Yeah, yeah. I think if you let me measure everyone's feet, I can figure out. Let me just have a look and I can know.

I can figure out who not to trust. But you have to let me measure all of them. Then I know. Then I'll know. I think working in advertising, obviously people go on about madmen. Yes. Pre-madmen there would have been even better

because, like, I'm talking like 1890s where it's just like dove soap, you're filthy. Yeah. It's so easy because there's like... There are so many maladies. So many things needed to impresses. So many things needed and breathe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Haircuts. Yeah. For when you want less hair. Every, every cartoon should have looked like this sort of like punch cartoon, every advert, of just someone covered in muck and filth, they've been run over by a horse, and they're lying on like the cobbled streets of Victorian London. And it's, and it's always, it says, look familiar.

And then it should be like, boiled sweets. They might help with one of those bits. Or it's even, like, even that's too pithy. Instead of look familiar, it's like, is this gentleman in a position similar to your own? Just no editing. None. Whatever slogan you come up with is the fourth slogan anyone's ever heard.

So if Hines comes out and says 57 varieties, you're like, oh, it's like the fourth song you've ever heard in your life. Do you know what the most offensive thing actually about the Hines varieties thing is? It's not that they used it as a catchphrase. It's that it took off. It's that we know it. Yeah. How dare us?

How dare us? How bored were you all? Like O'Ronsil does what it says on the tin. Why do I know that? What, rubbish, fray? Rubbish. At some point, there was like a Victorian, or an Edwardian family sitting around a table, silently eating boiled pork. Yes.

And at some point someone would go, 57, right, who's that? That's yours? Yes. And everyone went, oh? Oh, we should pitch that? 57. And then they went, like, and like, grandpa, who's, like, from the Napoleonic era, I guess, starts laughing.

You can't 50s. Yeah. I can't lift 57 nouns. That's why it lasts. Yeah. There were just fewer things. Open goal after open goal. Oh, two have not invented anything back then.

Shame on you. You're an idiot. Shame on you. Not even a type of stick. Yeah. Like it was it... Make a stick. Dumb.

Wasn't it like Alexander Hamilton also invented like the concept of the... It was like not the lifeguard, like the But all the founding fathers like you've got you've got like the chair with the legs on They all doubled up They all doubled up with things

Half um Very focal glasses No one should be credited With coming up with the concept of the lifeguard Because the problem was people kept walking into the sea Just drowning Drowning in 50 layers of wool

Just It was Yeah They may as well have had Concrete shoes back then They dress like the mafia was punishing them Yeah, throw them into the sea

With a big Victorian coat With one of those big fabric bums Like from France Let's just say he's wearing a cloth bum I used to think how humiliating it must have been Like if your neighbour This happened to someone Yeah

Like if you were Thomas Krap as neighbour Yeah Yeah, yeah Your neighbour invents the toilet And you go, oh of course Yeah that like I'm kicking myself and he's got one now and you don't

yes yeah Flash Harry Yeah yeah Keeping up with the Joneses In those clothes If it rained You must have just immediately like died It would be like overencumbered in Skyroof

I can't run Yeah Then wonder they all had umbrellas Yeah but those probably got Those probably made of wool And they started to just get low Cleaking Until they start to envelop your head

Like a Venus fly truck Oh, he's stuck in his umbrella again. Every, like, everything seems so painful. You go, you go home and dry yourself off with your wooden towel. It's like, dry yourself with a photo frame. Plank. Have you ever done that in a bathroom where you've realised, like, mid-shower? No, I haven't brought a towel in here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just look at every, like, I've tried to do it with a shower curtain before. Yeah. It was horrible. You look around like it's a point-and-click adventure game. Yeah. What can I do? A shower curtain.

I could do that and make it feel like I've cling-filmed myself. A shower curtain, hmm, that'll move the water around. Yeah. Yeah, I've tried Halloween mummy costuming it. That's awful. You just turn of bits. What I mean is I did that when I was like seven years old. I don't know anyone to think I did that recently.

I'm all wet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like the idea of having to dry yourself by fully wrapping yourself and then scraping paper mache off your body. Yeah, it was, I became a plaster of Paris version of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was like a, I looked like...

Little statue. Well, I looked like the sort of full body cast you get of a very injured person in a cartoon. Yeah. Suspended leg in the hospital. Suspended leg, a cloth tied round head for tooth that is bad. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very unclear. Yeah, yeah, with large cloth bean apart of their head.

Large cloth bean. That's a horrible. That's one of the things you find. You know when you go to like a... Halloween shop. I was going to say, when you go to like a Chinese restaurant on hard mode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With large cloth bean. And you go, I don't think that can't... I'm sure that's literally what it says. But that's not what it means. Phil can read Mandarin to an extent. That he says that. Yeah, wow. I don't know my accusation I'm making that.

We're in a Chinese restaurant and I said, what does that say? It was on a wall or something. There was no English version. And he was like, it was like upside down beef hot. And it's just like, that's what it says, but there's not what it means. There's no, yeah.

Like it's, is it the opposite then of German? Because like my favorite German word, for instance, is Fusbal, Weldmeister, Schaft, Bils Saizhita, which is the referee for the World Cup Final. Ah. It's so specific, but the word is just a full sentence smushed into one. It's just Lego bricks. It's all the words that you need one after the other.

Yeah. It's no different to saying referee for the World Cup final, because that's just as long to say. That's what it is. But it means German is so translatable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But does that mean that Mandarin is then almost kind of the opposite of that because you go, I can tell you the three words this. means and we don't have an English link for any of those things.

Well, it's more that, like, as long as you have the context, those three characters and their meaning will create the word almost in your mind. Yeah. But if you've just learned the characters one by one and you don't know the context, you only know the bits separate. So you just go, I don't know. Like in the similar way, someone who doesn't know what an aeroplane is but can read words. Yeah.

But go, aeroplane. That's what it says, but I don't know what it is. Yeah. So it's... Whereas you want a language that's like metal bird of the sky? Metal bird sky.

Yeah. Well, it could be like that. Yeah. And you just go, it's metal bird sky. We can guess it what that is. But full cloth bean, I know if I'm on tour especially,

I know a Chinese takeaway will be good if there's at least one thing on the menu that will scare people. Yeah. Refreshing black fungus is always a good sign. Yeah. Black fungus. Yeah, black fungus.

I mean, I sometimes have to take photos of them, but it's like when the word blood is in the... Yeah. name, you're doing it. Or innards. Brain, yeah. Inards comes up a lot. Yes.

Or just like chicken feet. Yes. Yeah. Which I've had. I really want to and it's just the situation. It's like cocaine. The situation's never been right. I want to make sure I'm off the next day.

Do you know what I mean? I don't like. Yeah, you want to have a clear diary. Oh, the times I've turned down coat because I've gone, no, I've got a train to my morning. Tonight's not the night to experiment. I'm not a party time, man. Yeah, it's just not going to happen. I think cocaine people must just be party time people all the time.

Yes, but they had, but... And that's probably their problem. No, but they had to have... They had to have had a day off the next day the first time. Everyone's cautious about it the first time, right? I think they're just willing to suffer. Yeah. I think they're just like, I love this.

Like any addict, they're like, I love this so much. I'm going to let it ruin my life. Yeah. In every way. A friend of mine said you should never do it. Like me specifically. Oh, okay. Not one should never do it.

And I asked why, sort of ready to be sort of offended. and he was like, I just, you can't talk any quicker. Like, I can't let that happen. That's a good point. I already sound like I'm reading in adverts terms and conditions. Yes. Like, it's just, it would be impossible. It would be, it would be unbearable.

You're a very efficient speaker like that. It's, you can see your training, your media training and experience. Do you think that's, do you think? I associate a lot of your speaking qualities with your work. Right, okay. And I think, like, that's why certain comedians, like maybe I don't know, Mitch Hedberg or someone who was like a stoner type guy. Yeah.

I think that is part, he was already a stoner type guy before he was a comedian. Yes. And I think that's why his delivery's all slow and whatever. And it helps some with like stage fright. I think because you're used to working for so many years with like, it's a 20 second link. And then there's 10 seconds. Yes, Benedict Cumberbatch. Just quickly.

Yeah, yeah. Four seconds to say, Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah. And also like all the information has to be in that time. So it's editing as well. Because you used to have to write the news. Yes. So, well, that's, I mean, I've, any time I'm ever interviewed, like about comedy and, and

writing short jokes or whatever, I'm always like, it's, it was never intentional. It was just the first time when I was training as a journalist, they'll give you a big press release and they say, right, turn that into half a page. I mean, when you've done that, they say turn that into a quarter of a page, turn it into 50 words, turn it into 20 words, until eventually, you just turn it into a one 10 word headline. Yeah. And the difficulty is I now can't not write comedy like that. One word, bomb.

Where? Yeah. Well, it's the, it's the, uh, it's the, uh, fresh fish. sold here. Do you know that thing? No. The idea is a sign outside of fishmongers. Fresh fish sold here. And then they're like that sign is too long

because... Yeah. Well, it should be fresh, shouldn't it? We already know that. And then fish, you can sort of sit... Well, it's a fishmonger, so you don't need that... You don't need a sign outside saying fish as well. Here, obviously. Yeah. And sold, yeah, it's a shop. And then actually, the conclusion you come to is you remove all those words because it smells.

So, you don't need a sign. A fishmonger doesn't need a sign. So I, but Emmanuel Sanubi, the comedian, said he was like, on stage he was like, I sound like a rapper on stage. And I was like, that is the only time in my life, that sentence will ever have been said to me. You don't know when you sound like a rapper? He's right, that's right, though, like the speed and diction. I think this, this is what it would be if there was like a biopic for you.

Like a kind of completely reverse engineered, like Johnny Cash style. Yeah, but I'm watching like a D12 video one day and I'm like, yes. No, no, no. No, not wrap, no. It would be a bit where like, it's time to finally write jokes. You're wearing your eight-mile hoodie on the bus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With your notebook.

Yeah. And you're like, you're getting flashbacks to like, make the headline as short as possible, possible, possible. Yeah, yeah. There's only 20 seconds to say the news, news, news, news, news, news. The power of mine, mine, mine, mine. The power of mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, the power of memory, memory, memory, memory, exactly, right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So that would be, and, like, on stage, you get, like, flashbacks to, like, newsrooms and stuff. You're, like, you're fucking, uh. I'm having like a really bad gig because I'm talking really languidly. So my, uh, my wife is driving me crazy. Boo! Everyone booze within seconds. This guy's getting the information out too slowly.

Boo! Yeah, impatient journalists in the front row like it's a junket. Well! And then at the back of the room, your fucking drumming teacher-type mentor. Yes. And then I can never remember the name of that. J.K. Simmons. Yeah.

Yeah. J.K. Simmons is like your journalism teacher. Yeah. You see him come in to see the gig. I'm not my tempo. Like as he comes through, like, take his coat off and look around and then see you. And you realize I have to speed up. Yeah.

Oh, the Glenmore journey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously, pun title like any of your shows. Two things. You stop saying the word. Two things. This is brought back. One, the power of mind, mine, being stuck in your head.

Yeah. I've realized the thing I have stuck in my head. The sentence that comes up so frequently in my head is, Jeremy Irons could a man not marry his son. So stuck in your head? Yeah, and it's an insane interview about gay marriage. But it was the first conclusion he came to.

Oh, yeah. So whenever I... We forget that about Jeremy Irons. With friends of mine who know that I stuck in my head, whenever someone says something confusing, like, no, no, no, you used to live on Sutton's Street and then you moved there. That would have been like 2012.

I'd be like, if I'm really confused, and I realize I'd look confused and stupid for too long, long. The way I try and get out of it is I'll go, would a man not marry his son? And it's basically my way of conceding, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what you're talking about. That's good. Maybe that'll be stuck in my head now. It made that whole interview,

it made it seem like Jeremy Irons specifically wanted to marry his son. And he just wanted someone to freely go, yes, you can and go, thank you. Thank you. At last. Where could a man marry my son? I marry son. What have he swapped sons? My wonderful. Could a man marry a man marry his gorgeous. son.

Could we swap for something? It's awesome. A vocal take I've realized, I've had for a long time, but I only really realized it today. I was on a Zoom call, and I realized that whenever I say, like, get to the heart of it or in the very heart, I have to say heart in a kind of silly version of how, is it Andrew Scott who plays Moriarty and Sherlock? Yes. Yeah. When he's playing Moriati and Sherlock, he says, I think he says, I'll cut the heart out of you to Sherlock Holmes. but he says,

I got the horrid out of you. Like he pronounces the word heart as if it's spelled H-O-R-H-H-H-T-T-T-T-T-T. He's made heart on a matter piece. H-R-R-R-R-T. Yeah, you need to say it like you sound like an organ

is being ripped out of someone. Heart. So why does this happen to you then? I use the word heart more than you'd think, it turns out. We've just got to get to the heart of it. I'll just say it like that and then I'll have to remember.

I've been doing it for so long. Yeah. There's only this morning, like, where is they from? I was like, it's from Sherlock. Wait, do you think you're inspired by, were you like blown away by his delivery and then you tried to incorporate it into your own?

No, I was like, what's he saying? Hort. Speed a back down. Yeah, computer in Harts. Yeah, in Harts. Yeah. Isolate the audio. Heart. Yes, something becomes really clear.

Heart. Heart, yeah. Like you're doing the Google play. Heart. Heart. This is your favorite thing. Should tell the listeners to try it out. Of slowing it down.

Well, there's a couple of examples of you. Just go into YouTube and you type in, like, I guess, like, pronunciation spaghetti. It's so funny. It's so funny. Spaghetti. The two funniest ones are spaghetti and stinky. Yeah.

Because spaghetti is spaghetti. And then, Spaghetti. I think the best impression I can do is of that. And then the other one is stinky. It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yeah, it's like, stinky. And it goes, stinky.

It's really like a mortal combat. It's definitely been judged up. If you try and do that on Google, there's not what it sounds like, which is such a shame. It's crazy, though. It is crazy. Yeah.

Like, the way it says stinky is that it sounds like a Mortal Kombat finishing move. Stinky. And the spaghetti one is like Voldemort. Like, like, spaghetti! That's it,

if he was known as, Harry Potter was known as Mr. Spaghetti. Or if a boy lived. Or he was, Voldemorto is Italian. Italian Voldemort. Spaghetti! Voldemortadella.

Voldemortadella. Yeah, delicious. Oh, he's a nice. I'm a what. That was Harry just trying to say, I'm what, not I'm a what. I'm my what? I'm a what? All I can pick to know is that original

Philosopher's Stone front cover with the steam train. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's saying about, yeah, Mr. Spaghetti in the Philosopher's Stone or Mr. Spaghetti in the Sorcererer's Stone. Mr. Noodles and the Sorcererous Stone is American audience. Yes, Mr. Noodles and the Sorcerousin'Noodle.

Mr. Nudels. The boy he lived is Mr. Nudels. Like he's a cat. Like he's a cat in a Drew Barrymore film. Jacob Alfie. Hello, noodles. Hello, Spoo. Getty.

Pene. These are my henchman meat and bowl. There's just be good henchmen names. Yeah, because one of them dies in a fire, so it becomes a spicy meatball. He's weird. He dies in a fire. One of them dies in a fire? Dies in a fire, yeah.

Jesus, me. Like years later, it was like a house where I could get out. It's quite good, isn't it? He's smoking on the sofa. It was like an old, like, 90s safety act. He made chips. Yeah. You know, like, at the very very very, you know, like, at the very very very,

very, very end when they've aged them all up in the film. Yeah. The school play bit. Yeah, you just sort of see like a flutter. It's so embarrassing. Talk about it. You just see like a newspaper sort of flutter to the floor and it's sort of like former classmate of Mr. Spaghetti.

Dines in house fire in Darby. Dyes in Wizard Chip Pan Fire. Yeah. Okay, that's a weird. I guess that's, they added it in. Yeah. My name is Stanley Tucci. And I'm here to find out if the.

rumors are true, and there's still one place left in Diagon Alley, where they still make Hor Cruxes the old-fashioned way. I'm heading to Voldemortos, a small artisanal Horcrux workshop just off Diagon Alley. All right, I think this is the entrance here. If we just follow me, here we go. Guindiorno. Oh, benvenuto, Stanley. Grazie, gratsy, gratsy.

I am a very enthusiastic to have you here today. Well, I'm so excited to be here with you. Grazie, Grazie, Greta, mele. Is it true that you make Horcruxes the old-fashioned way here? Still like, I'm sure, your mother and my mother used to make. Do not speak of my parents, your mother. Excuse me. Yes, is true.

Look here. is a little piece of a book It has a boy's soul in it It's a nice Just like a mama used to trap in books Wow, that looks incredible Go, give it a little go Read the book

Feel the boy's soul inside you Oh wow Wow I mean that is that is special I've never I've never felt a boy's soul So easily like that that. It's really, it's like it's right there on my

fingertip. Wow, wow. They, this is a, eh, you like. Yeah, it's good. Eh, he's good. I had to learn the secret to Volta Mordo's success. I just hoped

he'd tell me. So how is it that you managed to craft these horrockses and cursed items in a way that even my nona would recognize? It's not easy these days. Constant people are trying to imprison me inside a cube, or maybe trap my soul in hell.

But you have to keep working. It's for your purpose in life. You've got to work and use the good ingredients. The boy's hair, his mother's heart, anything cursed and evil. Unicorn blood is hard to go. get, but I know a guy. Oh, if it's worth doing evil, it's worth doing evil,

right. Something that annoys my wife is the fact that when Harry Potter sees his parents in that mirror, they're like pensioners. Yeah. But they got murdered when they were like 24 because he was one. He's just been born. Well, maybe wizarding heaven, you keep going.

You just keep going. Yeah, actually, so the idea of going to tune. It's like... Today's in heaven. And you go through the pearly gates, which were really rusted now. And in this enormous throne, is this huge skeleton king.

Like Warhammer. Oh, God. The God Emperor. That's God. God. God is God is God. Yeah. And everyone is just... It's like a dark soul's level. It's like a dark soul's. Horrifying... And you feel confused.

Um, sorry, Dr. Shipman, is that God? He's in heaven. Dr. Shipman, is that God? Yes. And he... Because he'd be like 90 now. Yeah.

He just looks like he's made of leather with some teeth in. Would you want to go to heaven if everyone looked like the moment they died? The moment they died. The moment they died. A mouth fixed in a horrible scream. So everyone is old, and if you meet someone who isn't old, they have a sad story to tell you. Yes. Nice, depressing.

They've all got like the thing on their finger to measure their pulse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. In the hospital, we're all in the hospital. All their bums are out. Like the old lady and it follows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you meet someone, you go, you're so young and beautiful. Oh, that's the press. I'm sorry.

Yes. And it'll be, yeah, because you can then see, like, oh, it's like the kid in the sixth sense, he goes, I'll show you, oh, my dad keeps his gun when they turn around. I'm missing the back of their head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heaven isn't this night. I thought heaven would be. The guy turns around and there's a whole cucumber sticking out of his ear and you go,

Oh, what happened? Sorry, before you could show me anything. I fell on it and it's not sexual. I fell on it and it's not sexual. It's my ear. I wanted to see. I wanted to see. I just wanted to see better.

If it worked. I wanted to hear the inside of a cucumber. Is that insane? I think when they age the most of the most of, up at the end of... Funniest bit of the film I've ever seen. Hearing, it's so nice. Having lines painted on.

When you, it's so... They look like they're in a scanner darkly. Fully rotoscopes. Yeah, rotoscoped Daniel Wackler. It's one of the nicest feelings in the world as being in a full cinema, laughing. Everyone's laughing. Last time I had that in cinema,

we all agree this is dumb. You get it like once a decade. So I think in the last decade, it's been like game night and bridesmaids. So it were the two times where I was like, everyone in the cinema is laughing. And before that, Harry Potter, everyone was laughing. And it was so, it was like, what a shame. Because that must have happened in the premiere. Everyone else has been laughing.

You must have just been like someone farting in church. So all you could hear was. Or just people going, oh, my God. What the fuck. Because as the premiere and you know they're there. Yeah. It would be so bold for just one person to be like, ah! It's like so rude.

Shit, this is crap. with his fucking face. It would have been so, and also it would have been in America, so everyone's very sincere. Oh, yeah. And very nice. So it wouldn't have happened.

I think, I went to go see the dog shit Will Ferrell and John C. Riley, Sherlock Holmes parody film. I don't think I've ever heard of this. Really?

Yeah. Philippe, can we see what that's even called? Was this during the Whel Farrell period? Holmes and Watson. Oh, really? Yeah,

what year? It came out. 2018. 2018? 2018? Because I was going to give it the benefit of it out and go, was it maybe like, there's a period in 2009 where Will Ferrell was just churning out those,

the blank, blank myth, the ballad of blank blank, blank story, of all these like characters where it'd be like, the title of the film is someone's name, you know, Ricky Bobby and all those sort of films. This is from the generation where it was like, hey, stepbrothers has been out for so long now. and has become enough of a cult classic

that everyone can agree, even though it's dumb, it's great. What if those two guys were just allowed to do riffing for a two-hour Sherlock Holmes film? Yeah, they're customisedable skins. Yeah. That's all it is. But even that should have been better than what it was. When I say it was bad, people were leaving the cinema, like, consistent.

Like there was a fire. Rattling the fire is gay. People were leaving consistently, and the people who weren't leaving were like people who'd expected a film and the start was just immediately a hardcore sex scene and just thinking well eventually it'll be the film

and just depending on how long you had faith in that scene ending governed the level of attention and how long you stayed but it never stopped being that it was just like... And it's sort of a cinema? I went in the cinema yeah

it was fucking crap. You know those stories you get in the news about once a year and it will be like young cinema goers horrified as cinema shows Terrifier 3

instead of Neo Leo the Pixar film and it's always like right if you watch any horror film they don't the opening shot is never a severed head or anything they're like you have to watch a few minutes and how many minutes

must these people go through before you go I don't think he looks like a Pixar Carole. The band with the leather hood and the axe. I don't think, the one he's stalking that team. The one in this film...

Who's talking about blowjobs? I don't think this is a... None of which is animated. We'll wait to see if there's a death. No, the Pixar always start with a short before the film, don't know, so maybe it's that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.

Oh, and then I guess the lamp will stamp this team to death. Yeah, yeah, she'll eat the bow and it's a little boy. Yeah, it's a sweet thing, I'm sure. That was us with Holmes and Watson. Man, I'm sorry. The last Woolfellow film, I think I saw it at the cinema was El Casadimapan. Do you see it on?

It was an entirely Spanish film. Never heard of it. And so the idea was it was like a kind of Western, but it was like a melodramatic Spanish soap opera, basically. So Will Ferrell spoke in Spanish for the entire film. And it wasn't very good because you go, that's the joke. The joke is imagine if Will Ferrell spoke Spanish.

It was that, it was like the commitment. You know, like, if you get certain... Like Tom Cruise with the fake face and body in Tropic Thunder. Intropic Thunder. Kind of, but a whole film of that. And I think that's the people who go, like, wouldn't that be awesome? Me and my friends, we're having a 24-hour Nicholas Cage marathon. You go, okay, I think after 10 minutes, you've established what you're doing

and you can then enjoy the rest of evening and go do something. Go to Laser Quest or whatever. Or you want to say to them, look, man, by hour nine. Yeah, you realize it's warm thin. El Casta Madre did have a very, very funny scene. It had a sex scene that was only Bums. That's all you saw. So it's just shots of bare bumps.

So that was really funny. That's funny. Yeah, all you saw was his bum and her bum. And that was really funny. So many of these concepts are just like meeting humour. By which I mean a bunch of funny people had a meeting. It would be so funny if. And everyone went, yeah.

But then the hundred million dollars got put into it. Yes, and then that's the part that's crazy. The script ended up being a screenshot of the whiteboard. And they've gone, well, scene four is the hot dog throwing up scene. The only line of dialogue we've got here is a very large man. a baseball cup runs in and goes, I'm going to hurl! We've got a bit where an overweight police officer

is confronted by an angry wolf and he says, nice doggy. That's all, that's the scene. Fucking hell. Sometimes you do pieces of observational humor that are like a dementer. I should be... And they suck the reality out of something.

I should be the one with a book called Why can't I just enjoy it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should be doing the sequel. Why can't I just enjoy things, non-autism edition? And the book is just, we don't know. The best we can come up with is parody syndrome,

satire brain. Do you know what? I am sneery. I think it's established. It's possible. I can do it. If I really put my mind to it, it turns out I really can sneer at something.

I'd forgotten sneery Do we tell the listeners about it? You did I get an episode on it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're, okay, I didn't sort of that at all. I guess we're sneering right now. Because I got very nice messages. The sneer is coming from inside the house.

I got nice messages after our big golden lobes win. And then also when it was our year anniversary and I posted about on Instagram, I got some very nice messages from people, but a lot of them were sort of like, once we got past your sneering, it was a nice running joke. I really appreciated it.

Anyone who sent me anything like that, I really liked it. That's really funny. I think nice doggy, also rapping grandma, or like swearing grandma. Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah, there's a bit, I think the wedding singer is a fantastic film,

but there's a bit where a very elderly woman seems like, said a hip, hip-ha-bbing-bang-buggy-da-dugged. Don't know the buggy-be. Yeah, and it's, that's for, that's cousin humor isn't it, that's for cousins. I think, but like, I remember at university, a guy I knew

who was also doing like student comedy were drinking in a bar and he said, he said, oh, you know how we can all do like good parodies of this kind of stuff? Yeah. We're like, yeah, and he goes, but the parodies are always just like

us sticking around and the main thing makes loads of money and if we parody it, we should be able to do the main thing. So why don't we just sincerely write the main thing? Isn't that better? No, I think, I think, I think, I thought, he's like, but why can't we? So I think we've discussed this because I think I had the same conclusion then as I do now, which is, we don't believe it.

We don't believe in it. And I think that, and the audience will be able to smell that on you. In the same way that if you've ever watched a huge arena-filling comic doing just dudge, and you've gone, I had that thought when I was 14 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why didn't I just do it? And you'd be dead behind the eyes. You need to believe the stuff you do.

You don't get to choose what you believe. Yeah, kind of. Because otherwise, I sometimes think, like when you see like a classic analysis of literature or like hero's journey and stuff, you go, you say, here we see the child rejecting the parents. Yes, the bit where thing happens. The accepting of the quest.

There's all these things that happen. I hate that simply. I hate seeing everything simplified like that because you go, there's no way around it. Yeah. It is that. story is that? But you could do that with zany comedy. So you go, and of course, traditionally, the next

scene would be old person do young thing. Yes. Rapping grandma, for example. Yeah. So you got old person do young thing. I think you could just watch almost all of the scary movies and put together a kind of dictionary of parody tropes and just reassemble them like Lego bricks and I guess

that's what they do. I mean, I did see scary movie too. I haven't seen the others, but it was like, I was like 13 years old and it was hard work. I I saw the movie Freddy Got Fingered, way too young. I would love to watch Freddy Got Fingered. The only footage I've seen of Freddy Got Fingered is,

Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, do you like some sausage? And it made me die laughing. And I'm like, I'm annoyed it myself, I still haven't seen it. If I go, well, it's already, I've laughed at 100% of the footage I've seen. So why haven't I? It's incredible. Why haven't I watched it?

Yeah. In terms of... It's such a hard to understand film. Is it like Eric Andre, basically? Yeah. Then great. Yeah. In terms of, to bring this talk of live comedy into something we were talking earlier about untranslatable languages.

Yeah, yeah. Do you think it's why observational comedy was traditionally always very popular in the UK? Because we have so few words for things. We have so few niche words. So the observational comedy comes from you not having the word for it. Do you know what I mean? Oh, like... Prime example, I think this is a great routine.

James Acaster, a picture you put your head in. Yeah. That all hinges on the fact that there's no word for that. But actually, if you went somewhere like China, they probably do. I think maybe... Because actually, I think if... I wonder if that's why Peter K. wouldn't work in another... Like, if you was trying to do observational comedy in Germany.

And he'd be like, oh, you know... You notice that, like, the smell of dew on the grass. And I was like, it's called Petricot. Oh, shit, there's a word for it. Yeah, we have a word for... Yeah, we have a word for... Or like... Kids skidding on their knees at a wedding.

We have a word for that. It's a tradition. here. Yeah. English has the most recorded words with definitions of any language.

So maybe it's more the case that like no one knows any of the words. It's that. Anytime someone goes, isn't it where we don't have a word for this,

there's almost always a word. Yeah, yeah. There's always a word. That is the pressing. Maybe it's also a function of just like, well, there's different layers of observational comedy,

isn't there? Because picture you put your head in is quite like down a road as opposed to like, isn't it crazy? Our shoes have little ropes on? Yes, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh, there's stuff that's like really just like sky level broad

and there's stuff that's like so like a seaside photo. My dumbest opinion that I still fully believe in. Two really dumb opinions. One is that I don't understand how you can't pick yourself up. But the second is that I be. truly believe that as a world every time a new word is invented, the whole world should take on that word.

So gradually, we're all starting to speak the same language. Oh. Any words invented beyond the year, 2026, should be universally adopted by every single country. We're getting there, though. With brands, yes. Well, it's an iPhone. But I find it astonishing when you have...

But I imagine in certain countries, it isn't called that sort of thing. Yeah, or like how on the continent... Because I guess phone is our word. Like laptop is called a notebook everywhere else. Oh, I didn't know that. Notebook, yeah. You just think, no.

Well, that's why I know it's a dumb opinion, because we've given two examples so far and given reasons as to why it doesn't work. But it's annoying, though. I'm agreeing. It's annoying, but I guess every word comes from somewhere. We don't have. If a new concept came about, no one would be like, we're calling this bella Gillip. And the word will always have some sort of either sort of Latin origin.

Yeah. Or it involves words in the English language we already use and we put them together. You're pro, it's Esperanto. Well, again, I feel frustrated that Esperanto never took up. Wasn't William Shatner like a big proponent of or something? I did a film entirely in Esperanto. It would pop up sometimes if you were reading about World War II or whatever, and they'd be like, oh, this person who was in the French Resistance

or this person who did this big thing in World War II, before the war they were postman or they were an academic and a fluent Esperanto speaker like it was a big thing people really tried to make it a thing that would because it was supposed to guarantee like world peace when was it introduced

pre-World War II I mean Felipe can we check it? In my head I thought it was like the 70s isn't that the most 70s sounding concept it's so post woodstock Yeah yeah What if we all just sounded Yeah yeah

It says 1887 1887 That's like when you find out Nintendo was created around the same time as well He just goes mad That is that. Yeah. Yeah.

So it was pretty big for a little while, and then it went away. There was a few, 20th century was big on stuff like that. My grandfather was in the Krishna-Murti society. Right. You know who Krishna-Murti was? The only people I've met who know who Krishna-Merti was are British Indians. Krishna-Murti. One word.

No, I've never heard that term. Krishna-Merti, one word. Right. It's fucking weird. A bunch of like, maybe even like Victorian, certainly Edwardian, like, weirdos and rich people decided to like build a Jesus like they would find like

an incredible like an ignoral and it would work yeah yeah yeah big robotic Jesus they decided that they would like start a world peace religion and find the Messiah like the like when the Tibetan monks find Buddha when he's a baby so they went to India

and found a baby or like a little kid who seemed really smart or they just fit one like when you get insane people who try and do the Madalemakhan search in their They take it into our own hands. Yeah, except these guys had the resources. So they went and they found this kid, and they raised him to be the leader of a religion they'd made up

that would lead to world peace or something. They had some wacky ideas. But, like, they made sure he could speak, like, loads of languages and was like, from being tiny, was educated in philosophy and da-da-da. And when he was a teenager, he was like, I'm not fucking doing this. You guys are complete freaks. Like, he somehow managed to. Wow.

This is a rebellious teen. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to be Jesus born. Yeah. It's so impressive to me that you could be raised, like, as insanely as that, basically in a cult. Yeah. But a cult that's obsessed with education and worldliness, so I guess you get enough knowledge to put together that, like, I think my family are weirder.

I think everyone who I've ever met is a weirder. The problem was nihilistic teen Jesus, is what it was. That was the issue. Goth Jesus. Gimo. Yeah, yeah. Like, saying people are like, does this gross you out and he keeps putting like metal rods through the hole in this hand? Does that gross?

Does that gross? Do you like that? Does this upset you? Yeah. Oh, typical tea. self-harm me, did you do that? It's not impressive, you know. Jesus, come out of your cave.

You've been in L3A. He rejected it all and ended up being like a sort of more of a figure for rejecting it. Interesting. And he became a very, like, there's a very good interview with him trying to explain it, like, just like for skepticism. He's like, don't believe anything anyone says. It's all just, including me, like, just be skeptical. Don't follow blindly.

Did he become, like, fully athe? atheist then. Was he... It was a kind of weird spirituality, but of the individual. It was very like anti-organized religion and anti-the kind of thing that he'd been set up to do. And he wrote a lot of books about it and stuff and was a kind of guru, but he hated the word like he refused to be talked about like that.

When was this? Like ballpark. Pre-World War II. Oh, right. Okay. I think maybe 1920s to 30. Felipe, when was it? He broke from the movement in 1929. There you go. So he would have been 19 years old then, I think, or 20.

He was born in 1895. Okay, yeah. So he was in his 20s, his early 20s, and he was like, these people are freaks. This is absolutely fascinating. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah, any experiments involving children, that sounds so sinister.

You love it. That sounds so terrifying and so Nazi, like, coded. But I think, like, the Nimchimski one is so stupid. Yeah, yeah. And it's so funny as well, like, well, for a while, the chimpanzee was the one leading the education of the child, and the child ended up becoming a lot more, advanced because the chimpanzee was advanced.

And then suddenly after a couple of years, they were like, it's really gone the other way. The monkeys bringing the boy down quite significantly. You're going to have to separate you two. Honestly, it's always the same simian faces, isn't it? Referring to the chimp as bottom set, that's his nickname. Boy, bottom set. Fuzz-Buzz.

Yeah, buzz-buzz. Buzz-Buzz the chimp. Yeah, trying to raise a child alongside a wasp and seeing how they... Well, initially, the child's paper-mache skills. Yeah, weirdly. We're incredible. The wonderful candy floss sort of architecture.

You built a fucking house. Eventually, the boy started stinging the wasp. He started whacking its bun against the wasps. He sat on it. He sat on the was. That's not mince words. Yeah. Oh, I was, I saw a lot of wasps yesterday.

Oh, yeah. I went to Chester Bennington World of Adventures. And there were, it's just Wasp City. Because a theme park is obviously the sweetest smelling place you. can go to. Floss. Toffee apples. Charles.

Charles Fear. It's so many ice creams. The sweet smell of fear. Roller coaster terror. It's so, it like, delicious. It's, um... It's open air, Wonka Factory. It's open air Wonka Factory.

And I think thematically it fits theme part perfectly. Most fun and most scary. Yeah. It's what the theme park is at the same time. So you go, ice cream wasps. Is the, that's perfect. Um, well, I want to hear about this. trip to the theme park in the Patreon.

And the wasps. Also, because the only reason we're going to save it for Patreon is because we're running out of time, but also on the Patreon, I'm going to talk a bit and I message to you about this, the partially sounding sentence I've ever heard. Oh, man. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm so excited to hear more. Mail, letter, post, message, emails, notes, text, dispatches,

SMS, not non, and randoms, correspondence. Andy has got in touch. Hello, Andy. For the attention of Messrs. Nevelian Moore. I like that. Yeah, messes. I do like messes. I bet you bloody do, mate.

Yeah. Fart. I write from the epicenter of European fashion and couture, Milano. Oh. Oh. Hello. Bella, Bella, Milano. Belah, Milan.

I went to Milan in 2018. Did you? I didn't like it. But that's not the point. I had the best pastor I've ever had in my life. But it was the first time, I'd been to Italy before, but it was the first time I'd really appreciated. Oh, the pasta dishes is just the first bit, amend.

And having the largest pasturists have ever had just as the start. Premium secundi. Oh, my gosh. Really, really splendid. I think you and I, we're both gluttons. We're gorgeous, yeah? And I think if it wasn't food, if we were both gluttons for even just like booze, we'd have killed each other by now.

Not in a fight, but just through enabling each other. Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah. Dangerous enabling. Danny Baker, Jimmy, Five Bellies in Gaza, all bringing each other down in the 90s. It's that. It's that.

Well, my friend thinks it's fine. I eat this bucket of chicken. Not three blocks from the houses of Gucci, Versace, and Mr. Ferragamo. Oh, wow. And of Voldemorto. The noseless fashionista. Flannelisian Yeah

Bless you While browsing a menswear store With the heat outside Reaching an oven like 37 degrees Celsius Which if you're listening from America Is a billion degrees I don't know I spied a cooling linen shirt

In a creamy white Nice Lovely Yeah Lovely on sale And in my size Out came the visa Bank card

As opposed to immigration rights This better not just be a really boasting story. Yeah. Anyway, love the pod. And the shirt to this day is brilliant. Needless to say, I had the first laugh. And then the saw-owner laughed with me. We were both laughing. It was a win-win.

Out came the visa and home we swept shirt in hand. Oh, yeah. I like that. Sale. But what should have been a stylish outfit, ironed and ready for the next day, turned into a horror show of, I don't think I can wear this now. On checking to see if it was ironable,

I came across this little label. Please bear in mind, this is on an XXL-sized shirt for large men like us. Okay. Yeah? Yours infuriatingly... I don't wear XXL, but that's fine. I do.

I do. As many X's as possible, please. I sort of just... I'm going to just start getting like tents that are more like wearing robes, just like swishing around in... Yeah, capes. Yeah.

Oh, there's a guy at uni who was really excited to receive a cape for his birthday. The person you're picturing is the person he is. Yeah. Lots of Doctor Who and Gilbert and Sullivan. Wow. Yeah. Okay. One of mine.

Absolutely guaranteed. One of mine. If you're listening, read the book. Here's what the label says. Okay. Wash me gently. I am cute. Do not wash me with different colors.

I might get confused. But in Italy I know The Italians should be stern And immune to this kind of thing Basta Basta you should say to this Wash me at 30

And there's an 80% chance I'll live But wash me at 40 And I'll shrink This is a guy A guy with a shirt With a button straining And his belly sticking out Appearing

Everywhere you go Like at work and stuff That was a bit A joke I tried I remember I tried It's so, so many times. I'd basically say I've...

I saw you do that at the Invisible Dart. Really? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, I sort of say, I started dating recently with this girl. Do you know this girl from... And then I would crumple myself up on stage. This girl, do you know this girl?

And then everyone would be confusing. I go, hit me at 30 and it would never work. Because in everyone else's head, she's still 10. And you were saying... That was the issue. I saw you would do it the most... Maybe this is the reason it went down pretty well in the room. You said it was an impression.

An impression. I can do an impression of someone from the TV. See, maybe that was me giving it one final run-out. One last college try. Yeah, yeah. I just think Italians should be immune to this kind of thing. Absolutely. Just not in there.

I can't picture someone in Italy saying it. Tweenis is an Anglo-Saxon disease, I think. I don't really see Tweenis from other countries. Tweenis is a good insult that you tweet penis. You've got a little Tweenus. Absolute Tweenus. You've got a penis that's got Gingham on, the Gingham dick. He's got a cockwobble.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do not put me in direct sunlight. I don't like heat. Oh, I've got to wear my lovely white linen shirt indoors. In doors. Yeah, like in an underground winery. In the shade.

Absolutely insane. Why am I wearing linen? For reason I'm wearing linens because I'm fucking outside. It's sunny. Yeah. I'd love if you hang me out and don't iron at all. You already said don't iron me too much. Also, hang you out where?

In a different inside room. Flitting from shamed. shadow to shadow like Batman. So. Also, how much information is on this fucking shirt? It's all in one tiny label. It's incredibly... This shirt's got too many rules.

I mean, I don't tend to read the shirt walk through when I buy one. You know the shirt strategy guide. I could do with one of them. I've started referring to cookbooks as like the Delia Smith Strategy Guy. The Delia Smith walkthrough. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, butter. Yeah. Okay, guys, hey, I'm Delia Smith. Today I'm showing you how to complete the casserole. Remember to like and subscribe. Okay, so what you're going to want to do is you're going to want to put most of the butter in. I don't know why so much, but it's what the game wants. Okay, we're preheating for 180.

You've got to wait a while. It takes a while. And you think the video is going to fast forward now? No, no, no. I let you watch it. Yeah. It's full on. full on.

I remember sometimes when we were trying to do tech setup for these cameras to set it up here in the shed, we're an indie podcast. I keep forgetting. I looked up a bunch of walkthroughs on certain things to do with the tech. And it was like just from videos dealing with really annoying things to do with cameras and like microphones. Yeah. This guy's got like a shmishmillion subscribers.

Game purple blue light set up. It looks like he's gaming from a space station in the future. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And every views, every video has got like a bit of. a gillian views and you think probably like three from one person each once forever and never again. Yeah. No one's re-watching these for pleasure. And you just think, is that worth it?

What a life. Finding problems and solving them while filming your desktop. Do you know what, weirdly, I, yeah, the most views I ever see on it, I'm always impressed and pleased and happy for them. When the enormous amount of views I see, when I look up, like, oh, how to take the bassinet off a buggy and replace it with the other. And it'll just be some mum who's had to take matters into her own hands and record a two-minute video. And she's now got a million views and I go, good for you. Good for you.

Good for you, Natalie. Honestly, thank you. Thank you. Well, thank you guys for being the views on this. And now we're going to go to the Patreon and discuss posh sentences. Yeah. And Waspland. Also, you can go on and sign up to our Patreon if you wish because you get a whole extra episode every single week.

And a George pod once a month That's when George Vorek is from S&L Yeah and if you sign up for top tier Then you get a film pod every month Most recent was Pacific Heights And also more experiences pods You can listen to our 40 Towers Dining Experience one

If you want a bit of a taster of what that's like On a regular tier of the patron You can hear our Shenyan one that we did back in January Yeah Enjoy Yeah We'll see you in a moment