BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2e6 Awful Snakes

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

In this week's episode the buds discuss awkward anti-vacs Rock 'n' Roll, Pierre's big bang theory and more altered lyrics. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Bud Pot episode six. Episode six, let's chop up our days. Early on a Saturday night. Do you have this? I find it really funny. I find it always funny when a song is about let's have a good time, good time tonight, yeah. Oh, it's pathetic.

It's so funny to sing about what a good time you're going to have. It's so embarrassing. Oh, I wish it will be excellent. Oh, I'm looking ever so forward to... Yeah, you wouldn't be friends of someone like this. If I'm so excited for tonight's party. You can only talk like that if you have like two massive pigtails. Two massive big tails are like a big, like massive puffy dress.

Yeah, anyone who's writing. I'm ever so excited. Anyone who's that excited about a party and writing lyrics that can't be interpreted in any other way. To like kiss. Kiss? Kiss. When you're a kid and you see Kiss, you assume they're going to be like the baddest boy rock band of all time because they've got big tongues and they dress like weird aliens.

They look like weird, different species. They're from like a monochrome planet. Yeah. Or they have mad max but a clown. Yeah. Maybe. And all their songs are about the concept of rocking. Yeah.

And I find that really pathetic. Yes. The concept of rocking, but never really being able to detail what that is. but I want to rock and roll all night and party every day. Yeah. Is so limp. And it's the way he really, and not every day. It's every day.

It's like, yeah. But you want to say to Gene Simmons, could you draw me a diagram where the rock and rolling you're doing at night is different from the partying you're doing every day? Yeah, which is it? What does each constitute, please? Or is it simply that like, is it simply that like, home, it's, it's burger. at night, but homebreaking in the day. Oh, the two separate crimes.

It's the same activity. Yeah, yeah, but it has a different... The sun goes down. Gene Simmons is like there, and then as the sun sets, it becomes rocking. What he's doing now is rock and rolling. Yeah, because there's, I mean, partying every day, you assume there's no break period whatsoever. So there's a period of partying at, say, 8 a.m.

Which is what happens at, say, soft play. Isn't it? Where they go, it's boogie time. And then they play a song where everyone's like, I'm wiggling my hips and I'm moving. move in my feet. Is that what Gene Simmons was doing at 8 o'clock? Just go to his local church soft playing and you clap your knees and you slap your head. Where is your nose? It's right here. Gonna lick some pussy tonight. Where is your tongue? It's right here. Which is it? What are you

doing? My niece dances like all toddlers dance. You know, it's basically just... Yeah, it's that. It's loads of jumping. I remember I used to just jump straight at like hands by my sides. Just pogoing, just up and down. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And that's how I used to dance to Ricky Martin when I was five or whatever. You're a madness kid. You're pogoing. You just love madness and Scar. Yeah. I would love to see like a church soft play with all the kids. And then just one of the kids is just like a full-sized Jean Simmons and the other guy. Yeah, yeah. In makeup. Yeah. But moving in that really loose. way. This is part of the partying side of it, yeah. Because rock and roll

as well, like when I was a kid, I guess rock and roll, the concept of that would be there's a Michael Jackson song where like McCauley Corkin is playing really loud music in his room and I think John Goodman's his dad and John Goodman comes upstairs and like start

stumping on the door. Yeah. And McCauley Corkin's like, ah, you know, you're stuffy. I'm listening to rock and rock and roll. And I always thought rock and roll was just sort of like guitar solos. permanently. Yeah, yeah. That's really crap. That's no life.

It's no life to just be lying down listening to guitar solos. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen the video to We're Not Gonna Take It? No. It's, yeah, it's, um, we're not gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it starts with like an insane, like, Vietnam veteran crazed dad bursting into a kid's room and screaming about,

screaming at him, but like with like military terms. Right, okay. Referring to his clothes as his uniform and stuff. Oh, what? Yeah. And the kid is singing, we're not going to take it, we want to rock. And you just think, were you being stopped from rocking by anyone, really? Yeah, we're going to be electric guitar.

Was Richard Nixon unplugging your guitar constantly? Every time you try, whee, little, and just Nixon there holding the corner, enough of this goddamn noise. Well, I don't specify that it. It could just be like paracetamol. We're not going to take it. We're not going to take paracetamol. The vaccine?

Yeah. There's anti-vax rock and roll. And it's really upbeat. Yeah, yeah. Gonna get measles tonight! Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to breathe on your face all night. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And part of every day. And lick like the button on a bus stop every day. I have to make my immune system. I'm gonna drink my own urine tonight. Come on, everybody, you know this song. It's all about licking the self-service menu to McDonald's. Lick the screen, we're gonna lick the screen. Order as a guest.

You won't earn points, but I'm gonna lick the screen. I'm trying to remember other kiss songs. Okay, God gave rock and roll to you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, again, just really nath. It is just naff. Nath to the extent I'm using the word nath. Yeah.

That's the only word that can really sum it up. When you go see Antivac's Kiss, there's a bit where... Which is such an apt name as well. Of just making intense physical contact with someone. That's why their tongues are out all times are just trying to catch. As many, it's just your natural immune system is strong enough. That's what they say. There's like a kind of stage show aspect to it where they have a bar chart of the measles rate going up

and then the guitarist climbs the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's one of those things of like, let's see how much of race tonight. Like, it's a big fundraiser, but it's like a death toll going up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They sing Christine 16,

but it's about her life expectancy. Yeah. Speaking of which, this is very separate. But just the reference to just a number there, I was having to clear up my phone just recently because it was so busy that whenever I was like trying to record gigs, and stuff like that, record like work and progress shows and listen back to them.

They just weren't recording there, just wasn't space of my phone. So I was going back through my camera roll because I had about 4,000 photos. And I was like, well, obviously I need to remove always. And I'll just choose a random year like 2019 and be like, what can I just blanket get rid of? Loads of screenshots of my home screen, that sort of thing. And a friend of mine, Andy, I'd saved a screenshot because he'd gone speed dating. And he was like, this was a disaster. Because what happened at the speed dating was they assigned everyone a number.

And you didn't know anyone's name. You just knew their number. And then what happened was... Greeting is number two. It was like that. But then the way speed dating apparently works is when you go home, you then get an email saying, like, you've been matched with such a person.

So he got an email saying Annabel Brackett's 14 has matched with me. And he was like to delete that fucking email. Followed immediately by a text from like The Maps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you doing? You know we, yeah, we can see. We can see this. What are you doing?

Yeah. That would be, like, the Mets should just do that, I think, just to random phone numbers every now and then. Because I think that word curb prospective crime of just going, dude, you know we can see. Imagine just getting a text from the Mets saying, come on, man. You go far. Oh, fuck. Yeah. And I realized, like, is it because I was brushing my tongue?

I'm brushing my tongue of the most. Or you just think, did I tap out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put the Chicago Town Pizza in the microwave, and I know they prefer it if you put it in the oven. But I didn't realize they'd be that bothered. Bubble wrap isn't recyclable. I thought it counts as plastic. It doesn't count. Oh, I shouldn't have murdered that drifter.

What happened to drifters? Well, I think people realized I'll die. If I drift. Yeah. Hitchhiking doesn't really exist as a concept. It exists with things like Bummet and those sort of things are very unique. Yeah. Union and straight after school things

where people try and get to like Slovakia as quickly as they can. It used to be huge. I mean, my parents were saying that like, yeah, if you wanted to like get home from uni, like across South Africa, you could just hitchhike. Right. Like a distance of like France and a half.

But were they aware of dangers? And were the dangers real? Kind of, but less so. Your dad's like taller than you. So I felt like no one would try it on with him. Yeah, but it was every, like kind of anyone was doing it. Like it was, and like in the U. as well. It was such a hippie thing to do. It got stopped by, like, serial killers becoming a thing.

Yeah. Everyone just went, hang on. People keep going missing on highways. And then they started finding all these serial killers and stuff. Well, I guess if there's so many, it's a safety and numbers thing that actually it meant serial killers could kind of pick and choose the victims. We'd sort of go, I'm not into this guy. I don't want to waste a murder on this guy. What? So they'd pull over and a guy would go, oh, great. Thank you. He got, just browsing. Yeah, it's okay. Thank you. Yeah. Just looking. Just looking. I don't need any help, thank you. Do you know anyone who's like you but with more red hair?

Send that I'd love to be picked up by them. Here's a picture of my loathed mother. Have you know anyone who looks like that? And who does a lot of hitchhiking, do let me know. And in terms of my collection, if you've got another 11 kitchen knives, I can surround her with. If I could create some sort of compelling altar. Later could be dramatized on something.

I don't know what Netflix is. Obviously, there's the 70s, but I'm imagining. some point, this will be of interest to the media. Look, here at serial killers, it's all about long-term media planning. Okay, the IP of this is going to be useful for about 100 years, we think. So get on board now. Maybe you'll be a star someday. Do you reckon there's any serial killers who were just like, there's no, there was no craziness, there was no shrine or anything about.

It's just about the killing. It's the same as just having wheat a bit. Like, I don't make a shrine to my wheat-a-bix. It's just about the killing. I mean, I can turn it. It's church and state. I can turn it up. Also, we should probably work on it again.

We are anti-this. We're anti-murder, famously. We are definitely one of, maybe the only officially anti-murder podcast. Yes, and if you are listening to this not watching on YouTube, knows that this whole conversation we've been shaking our heads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if you can't see our hands, it's because they're doing a thumbs down. The whole time.

Anyone mentions murder, I immediately go like this. Just so people know. Thumbs down is the sort of thing Kiss would do. Yeah. Thumbs down to crime. Yeah. Do a sort of... Hey guys, we're showing the devil the thumbs up tonight.

We're giving the devil the horns of hate, guys. The horns of hate. I think they are serial killers where it's all about... Kiss. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas all about the murdering. And we don't hear about them because they're not of interest.

Yeah. I think it needs to be all like saucy and Hannibal Lectery. Yeah. And actually, if it's like Stephen Port, that grinder killer, where he would just... He would literally just, I think, poison people and throw them away. He sort of going, yeah, no, we're not making a show about that. Yeah, there'll be no podcasts on Netflix series about that.

Yeah. There's not enough to talk about. Because all you talk about, those would be the most honest ones to do, right? Because then what you'd have to talk about is being confronted with the horrifying reality of human cruelty, as opposed to, wasn't it weird that the skull was like upside down? Yeah, or what if it happens if they also just had another hobby? So it wasn't just serial, it were just really into Sabutio. And they had all these big saboutio tables

and it always had like little bobble-headed Tierraum Rees and stuff like that. And they were like, is that connected? Is that connected to the woman in the lake? They would make it connected. Yeah. The Netflix series would interspers would interspers

going into the lake with the guy twizzling the saboutio. Yeah, but for the occasional Alex Ferguson checking out, they're going bloody hell. For some reason, they interview him. Just to say that they're here because then the documentary. Yeah.

Yeah, they've just paid him such a large fee to be interviewed. I'd be interviewed about any murder. Would you? Were you ever one of those people where, back when there was loads of TV, when you were a very new comic that you were asked to be on one of those TV shows of like, the 90s were crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you do one of those?

I've done one. I never did one. I really wanted to do one. What did you do? I did, the Big Bang Theory is ending. As in as a concept. We're going back to, yeah. Yeah, yeah, pure...

Tiny Adam. Yeah, we're going back to pure God, baby. I think the Big Bang Theory is coming to an end. We're going to Adam and the Rib, and we're going full in on the rib. A lot of comedians riffing on what it's like to be a ball of pure matter of infinite density. No, Big Bang Theory was ending, and it was supposed to be a talking heads thing about all our lovely memories of enjoying the show. And what are your thoughts on the show? Well, I had watched, like...

It'd been running for like 15 years, right? Really? It's like one of the longest-running highest-earnings sitcoms of all... Yeah, yeah, I'm aware of that. It's quite depressing, yeah. Yeah. So, Philippa, can you look up how many seasons it is? It's so many.

It's not still going, is it? No. But young Sheldon is? Yeah, and Young Sheldon itself has like two spin-offs. Fuck, what? I know, we live in. Like a virus? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. As a new Big Bang Theory has a new Sheldon strain. Alpha Sheldon. It's, yeah, and like, it had started when I was at school. Right. And it was finishing when I was like almost 30. Yeah. So I'd watch the first three, four seasons.

Because it was on TV when I was a teenager. You just geek out. I just look. Look, I love jokes about Schrodinger's cat. Every third joke just has to be about fucking Schrodinger's cat. What a nightmare to have to write on that show where you're like, it's about people who are really genius, but we need to do like, we can only do jokes about like primary school maths.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That must be so hard. That's one of the best jokes in the intro scene of, Rick and Morty is that the maths equations flying around are like 1 plus 1 equals 2. It's such a good parody of exactly that level of...

Because they can't do actual high level jokes because of course it's for everyone. So it's this thing where it's like Sherlock Holmes being like I think you'll find the I think you'll find that water boils at 100 degrees Watson. Like it's that level of dumbass shit.

But I thought, I signed up to it because I was like yeah, you know, I was a big fan of it when I was a kid and it's ending and it's £700. Wow. Yeah, for like an afternoon. To just literally just go, this is the TV show. I remember it, yes.

I laughed at the jokes that they were in it. I ignored but still enjoyed Sheldon Cooper's obvious Asperger's syndrome. Like he's definitely autistic. Yeah, yeah. But you can't, like I wrote an article for The Guardian which was partly about how you can't admit

he's autistic because then the show becomes about a quite irritating but nevertheless less autistic man being constantly bullied by people not as successful in academia as him. Yeah. And it just becomes like a grim... So actually what should have happened is each time he was irritating to them, they should have gone. That's amazing. That's amazing.

But it's like a scene where he's got his special chair he needs to sit in, right? In his flat that he lives in. Yeah. It's his flat. That's like Martin Crane. Yeah. But they're just like, why do I have to move? And it's like, it's a fucking...

Just let him sit in the chair. Do you want to sit in the chair? Why do you care so much? The guy who you've all admitted is revolutionizing science every day, he gets a chair. Yeah. You do nothing from what I can tell in this show. I'm on his side, even though I wouldn't want to live with him. Anyway, I thought I've enjoyed it, and I've watched a few series.

I can talk about it. But it became clear after I'd agreed to do it, that you had to know, like, all the stuff that had been happening. It's over spinoffs and the... Well, series 11 and 12, and they were like, what did you think about when Thingy and Thingy got married? and then also they had to swap the actors and also Leonard Nimoy, Spock, was a guest star and I was like, when the fuck was this?

I was on the way. What a weird stress dream you had? Yeah. I'm in a chair and someone's told me I haven't researched the Big Bang Theory in it. I had to spend two days revising for my Big Bang Theory exam. But was then going to be on the television.

And then you'd wake up. That's when you wake up. That's when you wake up and you go, oh, that's so silly. But instead I had to go to, I had to go to a theater and sit in a little room and sit on a chair like mastermind

while like but with like all lights on you like you're in trouble with the KGB they kept like lifting up one of the light bulbs to your face well they are in my face because it's filming they pointed at my face

and I'm on this uncomfortable like high stool yeah with someone being like there's a good Sheldon and bad Sheldon with you can't just admit you didn't watch season three

it's okay Yeah, I would admit that. But the director would just be like, and sometimes, because the other thing remembers that they're phrasing it because they want you to answer in the form of the question to make it seem like your actual memory. Whereas what they're doing backstage is going, we haven't got quite enough on series seven where they got divorced,

so can we just try and get people to talk about that? Right, yeah. So they can't just say, tell me something about, you know, or they don't want to just say, remember when they got divorced in series seven? Because you just go, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're worried you're going to say that. So they go, oh, something happened in series seven, didn't it, with that relationship?

But couldn't you have just gone, oh, man, it was crazy. You could have just said that for every single thing. Do you not think I tried this? Of course. What I thought it could be like is those, you know, whenever, like, film four would ever have, like, a summer season. And they'd be sort of like, wow, 12 new movies streaming soon. And then they would just cut to, like, a clip of like George Lee knows. That sounds great.

You know what I mean? But then we'd just do that. What a bizarre job that's always been for someone that they have to go through Oh, sounds spooky And that's like for each of those Each of those movies It's a shot of just Jason Siegel going

Can't wait Yeah, yeah, yeah Wow I look, I could I could oh that was crazy a few things Yeah But they're not recording the questions Oh, so those ones

We have to say the question Back to it yeah Yeah, but they're not telling you what it's about So they say oh that thing This is nightmare Yes They say the thing Oh that thing that Howard did

with the robot and I'll go, I'll just be like, when Howard went to the show with team range. Howard and his robot, that was crazy because of how crazy, a boy died. How violent, sexual. And then I could see them like nodding at sexual. I'd be like, section. Howard with the robot and it turned out that Howard built like a robot hand and like fucked it at the end of an episode.

What? Yeah, he got himself jerked off by a robot hand. They didn't show you that. but they made it clear that that's what he was going to do with a hand. A run out of ideas. And it's got to the point... He'd been jacked off by everything under the sun. Every other cast member had jacked him off.

Leonard Nimoy had jacked him off. Richard Atomber, David Attenborough, jacked him off. His wanking Spock. Yeah. Which is when you have to wank someone off like this. Jesus, that's horrible. Between the fingers. Yeah, yeah, between the Spock fingers.

That had happened. By the way, also, if you watch series 1, 2, 3, of Big Bang theory. I won't. No, but if, God forbid, the Howard is a pervert jokes are like, oh, this, you should be in prison. Like, he's committing, like, crimes.

Oh, man. He's, like, stalking people and, like, waiting outside their house and stuff, and everyone's just going, ha ha ha ha. And it's weird, because it's... It's from the noughties, and you go, I associate that with 90s TV where, like, the big ending of an episode

will be sort of like... And then the sex offenders let into the... Into the home. Oh, into the sorority. Yeah. Yeah, like Ted Bundy. Yeah. It's insane.

And, depressingly, me briefly popping up on this talking heads thing, pouring sweat and going, the part with the race car. Like, that was the most anyone has ever texted my parents about seeing me on TV. He's doing well. I can't believe it. Yeah, wow. I couldn't believe how many people I know see on, like, E4, Yeah.

Twelve years of Big Bang Theory, a talking heads good by. Appointment television. And they go, well, cancel the meal. Next stop for Pierre, the Copa Cabana. Cancel our... He's playing the Copa. Cancel our dinner reservations. We're staying in.

Because we're going to watch people like me or like, I don't know, that was crazy. Johnny Vegas. Yeah. For some reason. Just going, oh, no, but we matter. Just talking about nothing. Just a show you've seen already.

It was the most anyone has ever seen anything I've done, ever. I mean, it's not the worst though. That's fine. No, but it's such a... Did you get screwed over in the edit, or was it you convincingly... I didn't watch it. I was... I had a history teacher at school who was on TV

being part of like a history teacher's roundtable. It was one of those shows that they just filled BBC 2 with. You know what I mean? But they go, sometimes it's about gardening. Sometimes it's about the war. And sometimes it used to be mocked the war. week. And that was the only things on BBC too. But he was on some history teachers roundtable where they were discussing things like the Second World War. And they discussed, it was weird

because he was like, bear in mind this was like 2007. Yeah. There was really no, you know, things like Twitter weren't big. So there was no sort of like, the very idea of anything like Holocaust denial was just absolutely new to everybody. It would be like meeting a, like one the drinker and piss people. Yes. I didn't think you were real. But he said there was one of, one of the history teachers he was on with was some like, was basically David Irving. And he said it was crazy and he was telling us all as a class.

But he said the worst thing was they got at the end, they were like, we just need action shots of all of you sort of like, you know, coming in, handshakes and stuff, greeting. We just need a few images of you just sort of listening to the other person. We just need to stoppage of you like nodding your head. And then he on this TV show, there was his awful Holocaust denier. And it kept cutting back to my teacher just nodding. Every, but the same shot of him laughing. And he was like, what do I do?

But he was in such desperate measures. He'd asked a lower sixth form history class. Guys, what am I doing? Guys, guys. That's such a, that's such a sitcom character. It was such a weak, like Frank Grimes there. It was just. Old skill.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, it's really bad. It's really bad. All these 17-year-olds. Sir, we don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Write them a letter, sir? Yeah, it's one of those teachers, like, you'd always sort of make fun of. But when that happened, we were like, oh, shit, that's horrible.

Yeah, man, I don't know. I don't know. That's kind of the pattern. Yeah. That's insane. Also, like, it'd be really funny. Like, you know, I think you should leave way. But he's just, like, nodding while this guy's saying all this horrible shit.

And then it just keeps cutting to them shaking hands. Yeah. And then just like... And in, like, history documentary, like, the background is, like, a sort of Nazi flag that's interspersed in. the background. So every time it cuts to them shaking hands, the camera zoomed in more on the hands.

Each time, shaking, like it's so... When I used to be a journalist, I always wanted to try and, like, not play fast and loose, but wanted to know the rules around playing fast and loose with around stuff like

election periods, for instance. Yeah, when there's purder. My God, when it was a start of an election period, at LBC, we're talking like a decade ago. Yeah. It was crazy in that.

Like, you had to, over the course of general election period, give the exact same amount of seconds airtime, according to Offcom, to the four most popular parties. So as Conservatives, Labour, Lib Dems and UKIP at the time. And although UKIP didn't have any representation in Parliament, they were like, in terms of, like, potential share of the vote. And it will be in the top. The polling, yeah.

Yeah. And so what it meant was, okay, the easiest way to do this is you play 20 seconds of David Cameron at 8 o'clock, and then you play 20 seconds of Ed Miliband at 9 o'clock, and then 20 seconds of Farage at that sort of thing. And then what you then had to do was fill it out on a big of it. booklet and that got sent off to offcom and so by the end of the by the end of the election period they could go yeah you spent there was only a 20 second discrepancy over the course of six months and it was wild absolutely wild that that had to happen it's crazy but i always wanted to be like but

like are you allowed to were you allowed to in that election be like well it's the four main parties going head to head and a big picture of you know tim farren and a big picture of david cameron were you allowed to have the picture of mad nigel faradr when he's been rescued from that plane crash. You remember on election day where he's like just covered in blood? Why can't you use that? Would you be allowed to use that? I always sort of if you interviewed a politician, I'd be

sort of like, if there's a politician you didn't like. You'd be sort of like, okay, we'll set you up for the interview and be like, sorry, trying to get the lights, the lights are a bit funny. Do you mind just lowering your head slightly? Yeah, just lower your head a bit more. Sorry, the mic's being a bit weird. Would you mind talking slightly lower? So then every time it sort of cuts someone like Ed Miliband,

he'd be sort of like, obviously we want the best for what's right for the nation. But if it cuts to Nigel Farage, he would be cloaked in shadow. Looking like under his eyelids going, We want to do our very best. The country has... So it's like the exorcist. Yeah, yeah.

You go, and of course the lighting has been randomized per party. So I'm afraid you're in dark red lighting. You're in blue lighting. All the other politicians are sort of 45 degree angle. They're talking to an interview off screen. You are facing the screen looking down directly at them. Why can't you do that? Oh, like Rory Stewart's stool.

and the Tory leadership debate is just at a 12 degree angle. So he's actually just like leaning his bum against it. Like, you know when you're too tall for the bum rest chair on the train? He's just there, like a cowboy.

And we go, there was just a bit of, there was sort of a, I think, a blacksmiths next door. So there's the occasional sound of like metal clanking upon metal as you do it. We want the very best. The United King. Kong. Well, that's 20 seconds.

Offcom should be pretty happy with that. It's 23. I mean, look, in anything, we're being a little unfree. What about, um, everyone has to use like a handheld mic, but one of them gets like a kind of child's karaoke. Yeah. A pink singster.

Where is my, you're, boys, loz. It sounds like pirate radio. It sounds like pirate radio. Yeah, pirate radio or like a Christian or Oxford circus with one of his headset. The Lord of what a vote on a fucking bad. God. God is coming. But instead of his nausea frog.

absolutely ridiculous. That would be weird if you saw someone flogging Bibles outside Oxford Circus. Occupry is absolutely more. What the fuck? Someone handing out Bibles outside Oxford Circus, but what if they had an incredible mic and an incredibly smooth radio style manner? That would be much more exactly.

Good afternoon. Jeremy Vine. Or like, yeah, those real like early 90s sort of American radio is like, you're listening to Capitol, capital, capital, capital, capital. We're giving out Bibles. Bibles Bibles. Like lightning, God's wrath and stuff. Well, like, you're listening to K-A-B-L-Y-C-T-O-20.

Yeah. The best station in the tri-state area. What was that about? They all just, yeah. Radio stations have to have a name that's like a Soviet Cone. Just make any sense to me. I mean, we do have LBC to be fair, but at least it stands for something. That stands for something.

What does K-B-B-B, like, what's, it would be a lot of letters and then a number. And I've never, I've never fully comprehended tri-state area. No. I say it a lot, and I don't know why. It's fun. It's fun to say to refer to like Redding as being in the tri-state area. I think in the tri-state area is the American equivalent of just off the M6. Yeah, yeah. It's sort of like... It sounds better, yeah.

It's sort of middle of nowhere, but it's also somehow central. Mail, letter, post, message, e-mail, notes, text, dispatches, SMS, and randoms. So we've got some misheard lyrics from Claire. Oh, great. Because we were discussing just how fun it is to sing. Gonna fuck it, Dad, gonna fuck you dad. So many.

Yeah. Do you remember the 11th day of September? Two planes flew into the World Trade Center. Do you do of any song? I've never heard you sing that one before. I thought I knew all of your hits. The hits. Glenn sings the hits.

Fuck your dad. Do you remember, brackets 9-11, real mix? I remember at uni, me and a friend coming up with the idea of this guy who, it was one of those sort of adverts you get in between like ad breaks for Good Morning Britain, where they'd advertise sort of real like albums for mums. But it was a guy who sang the hits of World War I poetry. What? No, we made it up.

So it's like, you wouldn't see with such high zest that all praised all, Chia de Coromass. And it's like some swing singer. Gas boys, gas. Fucking hell. Someone's going to sell that. Yeah. Yeah.

What was the thing? Was it Britain's got talent where that really fat guy would dress up like a World War II soldier? Yeah. And everyone was like, well, actually he's still on the beach. I think you're fine.

No, he didn't. Did you look it up? I don't have the internet. He was in the army from like 1975 to 1978 or something. Yeah, it was really. Yeah. He'd been like the national. Front for a week.

But because he saluted and wore medals. Everyone just went. Yeah. He was there. Omaha Beach. Even though he's not American. Misheard lyrics from Claire. A friend reported some misheard BG song lyrics

that have now become the only option available to my brain. Instead of, more than a woman, more than a woman to me. Yeah. What's a tune of that? More than a woman. I nearly short call my show More Glenn a Woman.

That's good. More Glenn a woman. That's good. More Glenn, comment, then a woman. Yeah. And then you just make sure. Yeah, so it's like me opening for Sarah Silberman or something. Yeah, but actually never comes on. Right, yeah.

That could be like your concept show. More than a woman. More Glenn, a woman. Okay. More than a woman to me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Four-legged woman.

Four-legged woman to knees. That's good, isn't it? Four legs, two knees. Horrible. So, do two of the legs not have knees and they're very straight? They're like pegs. They're like pegs. Or is the knee doing a lot of work and from each knee comes two legs?

Oh, I see. Yeah. Four-legged woman brackets, two knees, two thighs. Yes. So it's more like spider pincers. Yeah. Or like a crab pincer with a single thigh. Yes, whereas the other, what we're picturing the other one.

if it's two straight legs and then two with a knee is more like a shopping trolley where like only two of the wheels can sort of move around and the other two are actually quite rigid you would want the back the back ones to have the knees for like leaping. That's exactly it yeah the first ones are just leading the charge

they're keeping you up right they're just keeping you up right like that that's okay like when you see a dog with a double cast and the dog's kind of clacking along with yeah yeah yeah it's kind of fine it's like a wheelbarrow race sort of thing where one...

Yeah. Yeah. Four-legged woman. Four-legged woman to me. Always fun to picture the Bee Gees, writing it release her yet. And people hearing the 70s going, why are you telling us about this? Is she real? Why are you telling us this?

Have you made her up or is she real? I just wanted you to know about her. We just thought it was a cool. That's their speaking voice. Oh, man. It's so fun when you can't, like, I've never heard them speak, but I cannot imagine Phil Collins's speaking voice. or like the lead singer of Chicago or anything like that. But how?

Bill Collins sounds like Gollum, it turns out. Yeah. Incredible artist. Is this a bunch of drugs? Yeah. It would be like a gossip thing. You'd be like, you know why the labels don't let Phil do any of the interviews? So, so, so, so, though.

Yeah. For the Tarzan movie, stupid fat hobbit says, you can't really love you. I've just got to want. The drumming up. He gets really angry about a Cadbury set there. The drums in the deep is in the air tonight. That's what that was all right.

So when Peter Gabriel left, they were like, well, why don't we just use Gollum as our singer for Genesis? No, Gollum can do it. Gollum can do it. From the Out of Man, the Beegeys. Don't you're going to say, Gollum. Do you gollum from the Out of Man? Yeah.

A lot of people don't know that. Yeah. I've got the fur all over from Liverpool. Alfred Dahl! It's not part of the UK. Technically, I think. Yeah. BG's born on the out, but they left when they were like two, so.

Right, it still counts. It still looks out to you of them. My dad says the same thing, but they moved to Manchester. Moved to Manchester or Liverpool. My dad says, oh, you're from Manchester. But then they moved to Australia when they were like six, so then the Australians also claimed the BG. Who just thought they'd be such a bunfighter of the fucking G?

Yeah. Do you know if it's a fourth BG? Is it all of us? It's you, the player. Right here. The crowd was really our fourth BG tonight. I think his name was like Andy Yib. And he just had like one massive hit in like the 70s.

Really? Yeah, but he was just so separate to the rest of the family. He was younger. Yeah. It's like the other. What? I thought he was like still going. No, he died of a drug overdose.

Today? No. All right. there was like a fourth one and did a thing on his own. Yeah, one big hit, which I think they produced with him. Yeah. And he was going to be his own thing. And then he died.

When did it? Who was the first person that was like successfully being like a sexy heartthrob with a, like an insane, let's face it, the voice of a cartoon puppet. Yeah, Barry Gibb. And how did that? Yeah, to have the confidence to start seeing like that and hope. I hope nobody laughs at me. I have, I'm like a big guy with a big beard.

He's like, he's got a Santa beard. I'm going to come on and go. It's like a big Glenn Campbell, Robert Red for big friendly 70s beard. Yeah, it's a helpful lumberjack's beard. Yeah. Lumberjack would be like, time to go into the forest and get some more lumber. Is he okay? Is he okay?

Yeah, he's one of the gibbs. He's okay. Well, Claire says, which of course led to a lively debate on whether it's the two knees per leg or two between the four. Hey, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry to then have an argument in front of you. Thank you, Claire. Underground Tatt from John Joe.

I think it's pronounced John Joe. John Joe, yeah, yeah. John Joe Shelby's a person. Is it? Is it? What is it? It's a hot, God. It's not wet wipes, it's wet ones.

Right, which I already don't like. Yeah, I've got a packet of wet ones at home, not for me. Wet ones. For the neighbour. For the neighbour, John. For the postman. John, do you need a wipe? John, just hammering on the door 11 times.

Wet one. John, I think you need a wipe. Oh, I hate this. I hate this scenario. Shouting through the paper thin wall. Yeah, the idea that you could tell through the wall that he needs that. He stinks. I know he'll hear you.

I remember seeing someone online sort of complaining about their old housemates and they were like, I remember my housemates. I mean, just sit me down and complain about the amount of toilet paper I was using. And I was like, that's really grim. but also it's so much more grim and felt like you're not using it now. It's up your back. Why would you post this online?

You shit up your back like a baby. How have you done this? Yeah, like a baby or someone on a train. So it's an advert for wet ones. And it's a big billboard and it says for the icky and the sticky. Fuck, hate, hate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Awful.

That is disgusting. Yeah. And it's indifferent, like, for the icky is white and sticky blue. Because it implies the sys. sticky isn't icky. And the icky's not sticky. Yeah, so there's sticky, like, oh, you can be sticky and that's fine. There's no ickiness to your stickiness. Is it that...

So often I think that people just lead with the rhyme first. Yeah, there's been no thought. No. Going into that. I really, really despise, really despise tweeness and wholesomeness around stuff like wet wipes and loo roll. It is so vile. I knew someone who had to present an advert

years ago where it was like a group of mates off the street and she was saying, right, do you scrunch or do you fold? And it was like, this is awful. Like, I was having a heart attack watching. I was getting so anxious watching it. Like, that would make me confess government secrets quicker than talk to. You see, you can either tell us the name of your handler. Or you can tell us if you scrunch or fold.

Just vile. And then they were sort of like, well, I'm a bit of a folder actually. And the mates are like, I knew you were. And I was like, we're in hell. We're in hell. I knew you were. What do you guys talk about other than this? I knew you were because of how often I think about your beshatt asshole.

And how many times I've pictured you folding. How many times? Jenny. Whenever you go to the loo and we're in a restaurant and I think, folding, folding. And also, they were so open. They were so open to telling this girl who was just on a sofa in a street with a microphone. That's all you need to get people to confess. Like laughing.

Yeah. It's the kind of cheerful, mind how you go, that I can't stand about it. No, no, to be, to be fair. To be fair. The only thing it had going for it was the torpedo atmosphere. If she'd been like, come on. Which is it then? And they're there, like the outside the head teacher's office, like, head down.

Fold, miss. Louder. Fold miss. And why? I think the ridges are... No, if it was not even like, it's strict, it was just despair. Yeah. Do you, uh...

Do you scrunch or do you fold? What? Do you scrunch or do you fold? Scrunch your default what? Yeah, yeah. Do I have to say? When you take the... When you've just done...

You've just finished shitting. You made your dirt. When you've made your dirt, Peter. Do you take the paper, do you scratch it up or do you fold it? When you've expelled your awful snakes. Come, sit on this couch. Sit with me. We have something to talk about.

We have much to discuss. Quick, we've got a trick-a-lou from Graham. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it had to be jovial. I do accept them. Yeah. What do you do?

When you've made your burger, What do you do? That's the worst one you've said. Major Burger is a sentence from the devil's mind. That is awful. Tricklew from Graham. Hello to you both. I'm enjoying BirdPod 2.0 a lot.

Oh, I'm so glad. And I will redact all praise. I have a tricklew for you that happened back in my last years of senior school in the early 80s. I don't know, it's just, I'm sorry. You know, and it's now not about anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's just now an illness. Yeah, I want to go back to normal. I want to go back to not crying.

Not thinking about the couch. We used to have a block of three PE sessions, which in total was about an hour and 45, where the school would bus us to the next town for the swimming pool there. pool there. We gathered in the car park to await the arrival of the minibus, we were just hang around chatting. On one occasion, a fellow school friend I shall call Alex, approached me, said hello and whatnot, and then proceeded to ask me if I'd got myself a Saturday job. I had not, but without hesitation, I told him that I had. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. I had no reason to say this. Alex had always been pleasant to me in

the past, and maybe it was a heady mix of curiosity, my fledgling comedic brain, and pangs of puberty that I replied positively. Alex was immediately interested and wanted more details. I said, I'm working in part of the city nearby for a company called Lucas, making headlights for cars. Utter nonsense. This excited Alex. Wow.

What of a chance is. I guess he wants a Saturday job making headlights at Lucas. Yeah. Do you think you could get me a job there? Came the next question. Well, who was I not to help out of Powell? at this point my now older and much wiser self would have stepped in and stopped right there but you know i did not you know by not you know by not stopping is why i'm writing to you

maybe you should write an application letter and i'll pass it on i proposed alex's eyes lit up and he said he'd do that and i thought no more about it until the following week when the following week when alex appears back in the waiting group could you hand this to the manager for me there in his hand was an envelope a handwritten envelope with what i suspected was the application letter composed in a time long before home word processor was readily available. So he's handwritten. Oh, man. This is heartbreaking. He had taken time over this letter and now I was in the crap.

I let out, okay, in reply. I took it home and opened it and it was indeed an application letter. The next step was to speak to him about it next week and tell him it was all a bit of a jape and have a laugh about it. Just say, I don't think, it looks like they didn't get, looks like you weren't qualified. Hi, Alex, I chirped. You've got an interview. What are you doing? What are you doing? There have been. So many, you know, things we were sort of like, the best time to start saving the planet was yesterday. The second best time is now. Like, you go, that every second that passes is now still an okay time.

Just to say, I lied for no reason. I lied for no reason. That's what you'd have to say. Yeah. I'm mental. And I lied for no reason because I'm fucking crazy. You've got an interview. And I gave him an address and a date and a time that was plausible.

The following Saturday, if I recall, and I left it. as that. I saw Alex the following week, and he was not so upbeat and confessed that they weren't able to find the place, as it was a shame as his parents had taken him down there after canceling a family outing. So they could get to the interview. The guilt hit me hard. I explained the whole thing was a ruse, and he laughed a bit, but not very convincingly. Had I ruined a family day out. Many years have passed, and I've told that story many times, and people have, you know, he's taking the praise of people saying, oh, how funny. But it's only recently I started to think, did Alex know it was bullshit from the start? Was the letter writing,

and the ruling the family day out, all part of his own tricklew, and was I the sucker or the trickle? In a lot of ways, I hope so. Yeah, I bet. This is terrible. If I saw him again, I would apologize. Well, John Joe, you're horrible. This is from Graham.

Oh, this is from Graham. No, separate to that. John Joe's horrible. John Joe, you're horrible. Graham, I think he was not, I don't think your friend was mucking about with you, but I think when they were like, we actually canceled a family event to go there.

I think that was nonsense as a guilt. of like, so can you get me this job? Look how committed I am. Oh, really? So, yeah, I think both, like, obviously, Graham's more in the wrong. Absolutely mad thing to lie about. Absolutely mad.

I inadvertently trick-a-lude. Did you? The other day, and the worst thing is, I'm still to this day, like, I didn't trick-a-loo, but they all think I was trick-a-looing. I was out at a shopping centre last week, and I was getting a snack,

and as I was queuing up for a snack, this couple, maybe in, like, this sort of early 70s, were also queuing, and the woman in the couple went, where do I know you from? And I went, I don't know.

Because I always think it's easy to just go, I don't know, because what if there is a chance that I do know you personally and you go, well, I think you'll find it was actually live at the Apollo. You know, but I was like,

oh, I don't know. And she went, are you from the TV? And I was like, okay, that's that, then, in which case, I know what realm this is in then. So I went, yeah, sometimes, yeah.

And she went, I thought so. And then her husband went, No, he's that guy that gets cabs really early on our road. No. Because obviously I used him to get to Absolute. And so, like, they must see me at like half five or whatever.

Because they're curtain twitching because they hear a car pull-up. Yeah, that's the guy. They come to take us away. And they then looked at me as if to be like, why did you say you're from the TV? You're from road. You're not from TV. You're from TV.

Road. You're from morning time. You're from the morning fear. And I was like, oh, that too. Yeah, that too. Sorry. And so they must have thought what a weird prank I'd played in them where I'd been like, I'm Bruce Falside. Look, yeah, I'm actually... I'm actually... And deck. I'm actually and deck. I'm actually a handsome millionaire. Yeah.

No, it's just that guy who he's always seeing the bin. Yeah. The bin man. The guy who gets cab so early, his life must be dreadful. That can't be TV related. The guy who gets the cab so early and so discreetly that it must be... to some sort of, I suppose, building full of paedophiles. Something horrible. That's the paedophile, Morpoh.

That's the guy who goes back to prison every day in the cabs, because they let him sleep at home. Because of woke. His prisons are so cushy, yeah. It's so cushy. That is horrifying. Did you not get to clarify? I didn't think it was worth it.

You didn't think it was worth it to go. No, but I get the cabs to go to the radio, and then because of the radio sometimes I'm on TV. Yeah, I didn't want to then go, but actually I have been on television. You know, I didn't want to say that. You know, that's so much worse. Getting your phone out going, look, look, look! Yeah.

Putting your hand on top of their heads and turning it at your phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the video. I know that's Darrow Breen. Keep watching. Look. He'll introduce the guests in a second. Just look.

Just look. Just turning their head and like. Okay, that's looked. Someone's trying to leave the shop. He go, just look, just look. Don't leave. Yeah. I do see you.

Put your phone down. Unless you're looking up me And not the police Well speaking of people who don't know who we are We've got to go to the VIP section now The Patreon Yeah, let's do it Sign up to the Patreon

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Our new video games podcast Tomorrow guys me, Glenn and Sarah Keyworth, all discussing gaming. And then we'll also have like a Patreon with extra bonuses and stuff where we're playing through Dark Souls and recommending games.

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