BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - S2E63 | Sleight of Mouth

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

Video Version Here!This week the buds discuss Fringe bubble shows, French Willy Wonka, 'world food' aisles and millennial burger joints.This week's sketch: 'Wonque'Email or Dm us your correspondence to [e-mail] or @budpodofficial on Instagram. KOJI!BudPod Live is back!Cheerful Earful Podcast Festival - October 10, 2026 - Tickets available hereBath Komedia - November 3rd, 2026 - Tickets available here Stream Glenn's tour show 'Will You Still Need Me, Will You Still Feed Me, Glenn I’m Sixty Moore' on Sky Comedy and NowTVVote here for BudPod for this year's Golden Lobes, Listeners' Lobe award! Thank you guys! KOJI Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Budpard 63. No, it isn't. We're on a pirate ship. Let me explain. I did an improv course over the past week. And the first rule they told us was undermine whatever situation you were given. Well, it's no and pirate, isn't it? It's the best.

It's no but. No, but. Yeah. I wonder if you could do that, do an experimental improv show where you say, actually for this one, the entire principle is no but. Oh, I did... See what happens. My first, like, foray into comedy was uni improv.

Yeah. And there was a game we'd sort of, like, try to devise it. We only ever did in rehearsals, never did in, like, an actual show. It was called The Jerk. And the idea is two people do a two-handed scene for, like, five minutes, establish everything. And then The Jerk comes in, and is just... Their job is to just undermine every single thing.

But we realized what it felt like was that a paranoid schizophrenic has entered the room and insist there in space when... You're in a new thing. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. It actually made it quite uncomfortable to watch. So it wasn't even disagreeing to the point where like, well, I think that chicken is horrible.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, it's not a chicken, it's an orange! It's an orange! It was like unsustainable as a game. It's like the kind of experimentation where you think, oh, you should experiment with form when you're a student, regardless of what you're studying. But then it's like, oh, what if the plate was made of food, and the food was made of porcelain And you're like, okay, well, it's interesting, but I don't want that.

No one would like that. Do you don't you think society's like that, though? It makes you think. Have you seen any... I haven't seen any pretentious flyering yet, really. Well, I went to the Royal Mile yesterday. I didn't play my game, my game of make it from one end of the Royal Mall to the other

without receiving a single flyer. Yes. I tried to make sure I'd do that every fringe. But yesterday, the Wretch was here. Oh, yes, yes. You and I went for breakfast with the Ratch. We did. And...

He was holding forth about the gold standard. Yeah. But we took him to, like, various shows. So, like, Katie took him to see... Spencer Jones has got a kid show. Yeah. And then we saw Matt Ford's kid show. Which is just jokes about youth parliament.

Genuinely for a second hour, like, Forty doesn't have a... It's just about youth parliament. Kids... Getting kids engaged in politics early. Yeah. And we just took into loads of... magic, and I don't know if you've found this.

Magic, or magicians in general, loads of magic shows involve the audience getting, like, gently told off all the time. Oh, that one didn't deserve a round of applause then. All right. Really? There's lots of that, yeah, and you got... Or, like, an insistence that you clap at the end of a bit. And it feels a bit Jeb Bush.

Yeah, please clap. Yeah. I think that's more of a fringe magic show thing, because you're dealing with, probably, especially in a morning magic show, a mixture of baffled American and Spanish pensioners and people who are hung over and the jaded the heavily theatrically jaded

we went to a bubble show like an absolutely unbaugh a South African bubble show hang on a bubble show a South African bubble show sounds like a horrifying yeah yeah sort of like Alaskan pipeline so when you get the condoms full of

sort of like jerk, like waggy. It's when the guy eats loads of waggy from a condom is the South African bubble show. Jesus. A bubble show is just what it sounds like. It's just someone blowing all kinds of bubbles. Right. And it sounds like you'd get sick of it and you just don't. There is so much more to it than...

like he was injecting some of like smoke and... Oh, I've seen these guys. And it's making absolutely enormous ones. And because he's on like a harness and he's sort of like flying up into the air, it looks like in Willy Wonka when they're gonna get a... Fizzy lifting drink. And he has to burp himself down.

Yes, yeah, yeah. Well, he had to shit himself up. So it was really messy. So you shit yourself up. Yeah. Burp yourself down. Peace yourself to the left. Nosebleed to the right. And if you can get those in perfect balance,

you can land a plane. But he is using like enormous like sort of squares of string, dipping them in a bath and then swirling round, meaning you end up with this enormous long sausage of bubble. It's crazy. It's great. Like, it was... These are new and hateful phrases. I know.

Socage of bubble is... The anything that made me feel uncomfortable is he was able to conjure bubbles out of no... Like, just... Because obviously he's got such soapy gloves again. This gets what... He had such soapy gloves. Well, he had such soapy gloves. and he was in a harness.

What? Yeah, the top hat. It was, before I think about it, I'm like, what sort of... Disgusting. What kind of supernatural Victorian paedophile did I take? Did I go to see?

Professor Bubbles. Yeah, yeah. And then all the children got put in bubbles and floated away. So his name was, his name was Lurch. And Lurch who merged from the stage, covered in ham, and stank. We could smell him before we saw him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He blew meaty bubbles. He had a big bath of gravy. Dip the string in it. Through a room would stink. All kinds of gravy. Chicken gravy, veggie, vegetables. Yeah, lots of Bisto.

People holding up those sheets in the front row. Splash sheets. Have you noticed that Bisto is a bubble? Oh, yeah, I guess. I guess. And he's selling Bisto at the end, so you could buy granules and try it yourself at home. Yeah.

The Wretch wasn't allowed in, sorry, but there's adults. It was strictly outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He waited outside smoking. Yeah, yeah. Mommy and Daddy are at the bubble show. Well, I believe that, like, um, uh,

films should be rated 18 based on just like, a kid's not gonna like it. Oh, I see, so you're like, uh, 12 angry men. Should be 18. 18. You're not mature enough to watch it. The seventh seal, 18. 18. Yeah.

You just, you wouldn't get it. A lot of the themes would go over your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the bubble show was genuinely incredible. It was like, some of the photos I got, like, The enormous sausage bubble that was going around in a big circle, I got a picture of it mid-pop. So, like, the rear half is just popping,

and you can see the tendrils about... It looks like a lightning strike. And it's about to destroy its sort of front end. The arrogant part of me was like, I could win a photography prize for that. Yeah? Honestly. It was just... The show was absolutely brilliant.

Worth a go? Submitted to something. Yeah. It was... So that was the sort of main thing. But yeah, I was... We also saw some... a really good street. street performer, where they swallowed like a whole, like, sausage balloon. Yeah. And they swallowed the whole thing.

And then they were like, shall I bring it back out again? And I said to Katie, it's like, what if when she pulls it out is just covered in sick? And the mask starts to smell of it. Or it just takes, it has to come out through a kind of, like a fur ball. Like for ages, she's just going, he. It's like patting her lower back. Yeah.

Like burping a baby, like rubbing in circular motions upwards. It's whoever the volunteer's been the whole time has to do that. She's got a balloon. She's got a balloon trapped. Heh. Like a hot with those, like when a cat arches it's back and the horrible you. And she keeps going, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Never done that trick before. Yeah, some really sinister stuff at the fringe. She took the balloon back out? She took the balloon back out, yeah, yeah. The heroin was completely untouched. It was in front of, yeah, really good. Wow.

But no, that was like part of it, and then she was like, swallowing. fired, got us out of a straightjack air. It was great. It was really great. I'd never watched a full street performance from beginning to end. The balloon. I usually leave just before the payment, Ben. No, no. I was like, once you're in, you're in, you're locked in.

The balloon thing is... And it annoys me so much when people were leaving without... You go, how dare you? When they just wander off, yeah. Because they've just gone, well, I don't usually give to the homeless. I think that's their attitude. I think that people genuinely believe that someone else is paying them.

And you know, they'll just spend it on drugs. Well, she'll just spend it on balloons. She'll just spend on balloons. But you could see people sort of like proudly patronising wholly up a nice tiny penny because we watched you for nearly an hour. Nice penny. And you've come from New Zealand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're sifting through all their 50s and they find a penny in a London. Ah, perfect. Metal? Yes, yeah, that's better. More useful? Metal, better than paper. An arrowhead, perhaps. Yeah.

Better than parchment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soiled with a long dead royal. You have nothing to write. Nothing to write on it. I think genuinely people... You know, David Sedaris? Yeah.

When he would go on his mad, like, litter-picking expeditions. Right. People would, like, angrily insist to his face that he worked for the council or that the council paid for him somehow. And he'd be like, I'm just a guy. I just do this. I'm from America.

Why would I... I'm like an old man from America. Why would I be doing this for the council? And they'd go, no, no, no, no, it's the council. Because they were guilty that they themselves would never be caught dead doing that? And that they littered. Oh, so they'd pick up their litter.

Well, no, just, I think that they had littered. I think they're the kind of people who do litter in their lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they're just angrily... They're the kind of people who angrily insist that it's okay to litter because it gives someone else a job. Yeah. That kind of thing.

It's like, um... I know a few people who are like... Um... They're not friends of mine, but they're, like, vehemently like... anti-tipping in restaurants. Yeah, yeah. What it means is if you go for a group meal, everyone agrees on the amount of a tip,

they're like, would count me out of that, obviously. No, no. A friend of mine used to work in a restaurant. Anti-social. He said the amount of times he'd see, like a group of 20 people, and obviously that would be an enormous tip. Yeah. Like a hundred quid or so. He said the amount of times one person in the party,

if you've got a friend who always seems to hang back at the end of a restaurant, whatever goes outside, they're pocketing the whole tip. So their friends would have left like 100 quid They would just put it in their pocket and leave I just think you should A waiter is not going to go over to him and go That's mine I'll have you know

Because it might not necessarily be And also that waiter is not going to run outside and say to people Your friend is a prick But why don't you just say Why don't you just go outside and say to them Just so you know your friend Was that all of you 100 quid because your friend just pocketed it I'm assuming that was that's what you wanted

That's a good thing she just did isn't it Yeah you like them for this You deployed them to do this Yes I'm happily telling you this Your scheme were Yeah, yeah, yeah, well done, guys. Your big, your big, uh, uh, curb your enthusiasm style scheme. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Has worked. That is such a character who's in a first scene of a curb. I just, I just think if you do that kind of thing, there's some part of you that's missing or broken, and you probably do a hell person thing about once a day. Hmm, okay. And like, that's not the only thing like that, that person does. I guarantee it.

Yes. They have a bit of a purge system going on. I think they just do that and they also park in the disabled bays and they block the doors and they don't put the trolley back and they do all the things that someone does in order for society to function. The only things I do that are gleefully obnoxious

are when I know I have the absolute freedom to. I live near a massive like 24-hour ASDA and sometimes if I've come back from a gig and it's like one in the morning and I'm just picking something up and it's completely empty car park, I will see how many parking bays I can park across. Because I'm like, can I do, like, can I do, you can I do six.

I was going to say six, yeah. But maybe you can try and get seven or eight, yeah. You're trying to park like people park in zombie films? Yes. Or a bank rubber. Like I'm parking in a field. Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm in a field and there's a bee in the car.

That's how we get out. Yeah, just a seatbelt hanging out the door. Yeah. Yeah. Dong, don't. What happened here? Hazard lights on. I love seeing hazards lights on in zombie movies

because that's a really sensible person who's got to put the hazards on of it. Yeah, yeah. Just okay, yeah, it is a risk. I need other people to know that I haven't just done this because I'm mad. I was being eaten. Yeah.

I was being eaten alive. Yeah. I just think, yeah, we've discussed hell people. I think that, like, of 10 anti-social events in a day, nine of them are by the same person. because people get around.

You're right. I think... Oh, like the Hellboy I spoke about, Chesterner World of Adventures. Yeah. Who just managed to... It was min-maxing. It was absolutely incredible.

But I wonder... He played reality before. Yeah, I wonder if our... Yeah, he's Bill Murray in Groundall Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he knows where... The ball comes out at his time. But for hell.

But I wonder if our lives would be so much better, more fulfilling, if we allowed ourselves... Again, like the Purge. Just one bad action a day. One little... crime. So, for instance, my parents live in, like, now quite a rural village. We grew up

in Croydon, but then they now live in a rural village and have done since I was 18. At the end of their road is a big field. Yeah. And there's horses. And I just sort of think, yeah, if you're having a particularly bad day, if there's just one horse, you systematically punch in the face every day. On your way home, just one horse. And I wonder if your life would be better for it

because you go, I let it all out on the horse. It'll stop going to the fence after at least one punch. Bizarre to see that behavior of horses. you approach, there's one horse that sprints off. It's like hiding behind a rock. Is he gone yet? It just kicks your fucking head in.

Do you happen to Glenn? His head was burst by a horse. Yeah, yeah. What had he done to it? He punched it every day. Stop here. Like those Instagram videos. This man punched the same horse every day for a year.

And you'll never guess what the horse did. When the doctors found out, he wept. When the doctors found out he wept. There's a picture of you with a sort of kind of 20 centimetre deep hoof print on in your skull. Yeah. Like through the center of your face, back to your...

But up until that point, I'd have to a very happy life of taking up my frustrations up. They call me Mr. Hands because of a hands I throw out this fucking horse. It's that you're, that's your wrestling name. Mr. Hans. Because you always throw hands. Yeah, yeah. I walk out very slowly to the ring. The intro music finished minutes ago.

It's now just completely silent. People in the crowd are going off to get drinks as I sort of hobble towards the ring. The only rest are allowed crutches. Yeah. I think... But it needs to be a nasty, selfish piece of indulgence, not rage clearing.

Because that person's not stealing tips because they're angry. Yeah, so basically has to be taking the shoes off the horse. Well, I want them for throwing. They would illegally ride the horse. I mean, what, no. Drink from their trough? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all want to.

Yeah, yeah. I can't... Drink not from the horse's trough. I can't imagine a more... Biblical parable that's... Horrible, horrible, stinky bit of water to have. Yeah, knowing the backwash that children are capable of, it's absolutely incredible the stuff

that the wretch can do with an empty mouth and a bottle of water is unbelievable. It's like slight of mouth. He'll conjure, like, bolognaise into a drink. You let him have one sip of a... An Evion. It's like... He suddenly turned it into like,

there's a fucking oxo cube in there. This is... Your nightmare. Hell for me. Once anyone else has the drink, it's theirs. This is Katie's attitude towards a bottle. Katie can't share a bottle of water with even me.

She's like, there's just something about it. She's like, glass of water, fine. bottle of water she can't deal with. I find it's very interesting. I've got the cleanest mouth in the biz. It's on your posters. It's on my posters. It was certainly true at the start of the month.

Yeah. By now, who knows? Yeah. But you can't play like that. You just have to pick what's true at the time of the poster being printed. Absolutely. No, that's really revolting to me.

That is hell to me. It's so horrible to see. There's a Bill Bryson anecdote about him being a kid and accidentally drinking from someone else's... someone else drinking from his water glass, some horrible old man with big, loose, wet lips full of scrambled egg.

I remember this, yeah. And reading it made me... I had to put the book down at nighttime and walk around my room. Kind of like... Because the man you'd never met. With a bad experience of water. I don't like thinking about it.

I don't like remembering his memory. That's how much I hate this. Do you know how fucked up I got as a kid? I drank a glass of water. So my parents would deposit me and my sister off at my grandparents a few days before Christmas. Deposit. So that they could have their respective work-dos and stuff like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do their Christmas shopping. And so my sister and I would be at my grandparents. And once I drank from a glass of water that I thought was mine, and it wasn't. it was my grandmother's. Not only that. I, bear in mind, I was like, six years old.

She had fizzy water. I had never in my life had fizzy water before. I realized it was my nan's drink, and I thought something about my nan had turned the water. I thought that's just something old people do, that they're sort of a very cold kettle. They can bubble the water around. You thought, my own grandmother's mouth is so putrid and evil.

I felt like I was in the witches. They were in. As she's sipping... That she must have... Like a coffee frother must have spanned her tongue round so much that it made the water, she was a fucking soda stream. And let me partake of a drink.

We're like, you know, forcing it through dentures in a loop. And allowing it to come back out again. Only keeping some of it. Oh, nice and fizzy. Just the way I like it. Just retaining a little bit of moisture the way a desert cat would.

Just the tiniest amount. My cat. Nanny is a kid's book and it's all about how their nann makes easy water. My nans are cactus. My nans are cactus. She hardly ever drinks. Yeah. When you go to her house, she's got no lose or sinks.

There you go. It's so fucking easy. A million pounds, please. I'm so unimpressed, my kids. It's weird the ones you can tell are good, because you go, oh, that's good. You can tell from the cover the ones that are good. There's too many. And I know this is a very immature podcast, but there's,

too many fart books. Kids already are obsessed with shits and farts and piss. They don't need them in the books. And I want it to be kept... Sacred. World, like, naughty. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Outside of publication. Otherwise, what are we doing? Something from the top shelf. Something for the weekends, sir. Top shelf. The guy. The barber just farts and sheds. Oh, what, like, scat books?

The barber just farts on you. That's funny to say something for the weekend, sir, and then fart. That's funny. Yeah, it's good stuff. Yeah, and it wouldn't be in a kid's book. It wouldn't be in a kid's book. Think about that. Like, Billy the Cunt and his farting rectum.

And you go, oh, God, for God's sake. Granny's stink pence and the grand heist. Yeah, I get... Walliams-esque stuff. Yeah, well. Knock-off doll. Yeah. It's a knock-off doll.

Someone who's read Roald Dahl and thought, Yeah, that's horrible, I'll be horrible. Because it's so much... You go, no, no, it's a perfect horror. The names in Rolls-Dahl books are like Dickens-esque in terms of... Whereas, like, I think, with David Williams, it was like, silly-milly spoke to Bally Sally.

Right. You haven't... You've written this whilst unconscious. You were in a coma and someone moved your arm and it was like a diving bell in the butterfly. That wouldn't be very funny if the diving bell of the butterfly, he'd bling... He'd blinked. He'd blinked everybody poos or whatever the poohs.

That would almost be beautiful. What would be worse if he'd blinked Twilight fanfic? It took years and it's shit. It's just all about Bella and Edward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. T-E-N-T-A-C-L-E. H-E-N-T-A-I. Oh, Claude.

You know, I got this. Oh, so you can't talk. I can mumble. Yeah. You can only say... Lentai. Lentai de l'Octopus. The animation erotic

Japanese of the octopus. It takes ages to say things in French. Yeah. It would have been sweet if you've written like kids, but William Wankh in his chocolate. The kids love Wankh.

I was gonna say W-O-N-Q. WONQ. Shal. Guillaume Wong. Somehow even more fat-shaming about Augustus Gloom. Because it's French. Yeah, and the kids have like horrible traits like being English.

Yeah. But it's just English, Darren. And the American, the one who just loves TV, that's the same. My TV is the same, yeah. Mike TV. But he really phoned it in. Everyone's like, oh, what's her? I mean, obviously, a lot has been said about Violet Beauregard's crime is chewing gum, which is insane.

Yeah. All right, are you from Singapore? Willie Wonka's Singaporean. Yeah, yeah. It's not mentioned. It's operated by plain clothes umpulumpur's. So you can't... Willie Wong is Singaporean Chocolate Factory has plain clothes umpulumpur, so you never know where they might be seen.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, bubblegum is punishable by death. Yeah. Yeah. It's very funny that Royal Dolls just so anti-television. It's such a funny... It would have been so old-fashioned even at the time. Oh, it's mad. It's absolutely mad.

It's been like half a century since those books came out, and it was old-fashioned then. And he couldn't hide his disdain. Like, obviously, like, Augustus Gloop is almost onomatopoeic in its... Shaming of an obese boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heinrich Fat. Yeah, but also just... But he was so angry, he just had to go, Mike TV.

Do you reckon that's clear enough? Are they getting the message? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alan littering. Yeah. Kept-believing sweet rappers everywhere. So we turned him inside out. From the enigma machine.

Alan Litturik. Alan Litturik. Yeah, yeah. And Willie Walker's punishment as he gets chemically castrated. Charlie sees at the end as a very ill, Benedict Cumberbat, he's just a shadow of himself. God. There is, there is, a dictator, Willy Wonka.

Does he... Is his factory designed like sore? Yeah. It was like you all failed your test. They haven't made chocolate in years. It's just... It felt like jigsaw. It was like all these are elaborate tracts because he knows...

It's like a Greek tragedy. He knows they will fall... He knows all glostoglucal will drink of the river. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so Greek tragedy. That's such a Greek myth. Baruch-Assault standing on a scale is so... How did that fucking happen?

Like, so many things had to go wrong. It's very sore. It's... You can tell it's from an era before health and safety because everyone seems completely unfamiliar with the idea of not leaping into industrial machinery. Yes. Yes. This is a big machine in a factory.

What can I climb in? Yeah. Have you never been on Live Lake? This is bad idea, guys. Dorcasters bloop gets degloved. Fully de-gloved by the chocolate fountain. It's like, no, it wasn't about greed. Yeah, it's an incredibly high-pressure hose. Yeah. Willie Wong is often shown

in safety videos in China for people working in factories. As we look at our dearly de gloved Augustus Globe. In all the smartphone factories. Yes, yeah, yeah. Bumpa, lumpa, dickety, don't deal yourself. Please.

Willie Wong called him. We'll be much more effective because it's quite, it's quite prison-esque. The factory doesn't look nice from the outside. It's very sinister. Well, he explains... In the film, the 70s...

He freely admits to paying the umpillabas only in cocoa beans because he says they have no use for money. And it's like, well, you don't fucking let them out. Yes. So, of course, they have no use for money. Yes. It's absolute modern-day slavery. I've kidnapped these people and I feed them cocoa beans and they work in my factory.

But I think he should have just lined up all the parents at the beginning and just shot them sort of one by one. and said, if you start crying, I'll keep going. That's what the film should have been. He should have just killed one parent at the start and just said, that's the whole tour, by the way, this kind of thing.

So fucking wind your neck in. And then they would have been well-behaved for the rest of the tour. They would have taken him seriously. It's not fair to have a factory full of traps and be that whimsical. Yes, absolutely. That's entrapment. Can't sing. You're not allowed to sing. You can't be singing.

Well, la-la-la-la-la-bub. You go, he's not going to kill me. Yeah, sorry. You can even eat the dishes, but don't drink from the river, which is it? Come on. I would see the river as more edible than a plate. You can drink from rivers in real life, William. Yes, yeah.

You cannot eat plates. You can even drink from the Nile. Fart yourself to death. Revolting. The battery of Guillaume Honk. I'm Monsieur Ronk. But it's possible to me

call it Guillaume. Everything around us is edible. You can eat all of this. But that is true of everything. You can eat a bicycle, a light bulb. I was in a circus for a long time and people would eat light bulbs. light bulbs and bicycles for money and there was a disgusting pride in this. You see,

as just as they are using chocolate, there is a revolting pride, there is an idea that perhaps by giving people a little treat, you are reducing the suffering of their lives somewhat, but I am Maybe a cigarette would be less pathetic sometimes than chocolate. Maybe for breakfast chocolate, a cigarette. But ultimately, the only reason we can still afford to make this chocolate here in France with the corporate tax and so on is because we have these slaves. Little orange men. And you know, people think I keep them here against their will.

I don't. I let them out. I let them go out into Paris. I let them see what it was like and they know what they came back. This is the most damning thing of all. For our society, they came back. They said we do not like it, Monsieur Wong. People out there are horrible. They stink.

They are rude. They are unkind to each other. Unlike in our... Perhaps to the western eye, different and less technologically advanced, but lifestyle, but better, more wholesome, more real. There is not a single lock in my chocolaterie. Every door is open, but every door comes with consequences. Some of you are too fat to survive. Not just in here, but in general, too far.

some of you are too American some of you are too loud but one of you are a little boy who only loves chocolate you I will trick you I will not kill I will trick you with a grand blag into taking over for me from this and the second you sign the papers the second this factory is yours. I will fill my pocket with rocks and I will climb into my chocolate river and I will be free.

Free. Gosh, Charlie, he doesn't sound like much of a laugh, does he? Have you seen anything around advertised that you want to go see? There's a play that some friends of mine put on years ago that is unusual to put on.

Okay. And it's being put on this year. What's it called? Sodom. Oh yeah! Yeah. Yes. Deep leads, sexual play. Because I saw Sodom as a big...

I took a photo. I nearly put it online. There's a lamppost near me. A poster of Sodom and above a lamp post is a sign that says no loading. And I'm like, which is it? That's funny. Right?

That's good. Thank you. But, wow. So that's... It's a real play. Yeah. One of the main... One of the...

A fairly important character is a dildo salesman. There's a lot of shagging. When's it from? I think from the Regency period. Right. It's very explicit and sort of satirical and features. Lots of libertines. Well, like actual aristocrats of the day, I think.

It's all very like pop and and and stuff. But it is like, oh, someone just gets bummed on stage. Yes, yeah, yeah. As part of like a silly... But the fringe. Yeah, but this is from the regency period. So it was like, you could get hanged for less. But for a while, everyone was crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's quite weird play. I haven't, I haven't looked through the fringe guide I keep on, I'm going through various... I feel like I haven't seen one. No, I've seen empty cases, so like they're still being taken. I've seen the empty stands. I haven't looked through the guide because I think,

because I'm only here for a couple of weeks, doing a work in progress, and I thought I feel too much like a tourist to be able to engage. I quite like to, when I'm doing the full month, go and see a bunch of shows. I'm averaging about one a day. Yeah. But all comedy and for the most part, all friends.

Yeah. Well, this is it. There's so much on. We should say as well, thank you to everyone who came to Bud Pod Live. That was last episode. Thank you so, so much. Very good to see so many Podbuds in attendance, Koji to you all. Yeah.

And the next live show, the tickets are in Lincoln Bio, as they say. Bath and London. Yeah. I did have thought, because my fear at the fringe, and this has come to light, is when you see a show that just depresses you because it is so good and you know you will never achieve that. Yes. That has happened to me this French.

No, really? Who done that to you? Ali Katz, Ricky Jabase. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck. Just that line, what God would let a little kitten get ill?

Yeah, yeah. It's just the way that he just fundamentally can just misunderstand theology at every level. It's really incredible. Really incredible, given that he's not even studied it and doesn't know anything about theology. He still somehow managed us to get it.

perfectly wrong in every way. I was at the back of a comedian show a couple of nights ago, and Steve Bennett, the Chorto review was there, so we were having a nice chat. And immediately, he turned the conversation towards Riggish Vases's aliccats. He was like, robbing his forehead. This is a man he watches thousands of comedy shows a year. It was just like, I can't. I can't.

He seemed utterly broken by it. So many people are reacting to that show, like, um, those episodes of Man versus Food, where he lost. where he's sad and full and sick. Oh, I mean, I've only done two eating challenges ever, and it's the worst thing, because what is left on your plate is something you now have to pay for,

because usually the prices it's free, you now have to pay for, and now it's a horrible smush that looks like it's been dropped. It's been dropped from height onto your plate. It has impacted the metal tray it's on. I'm normally a real food bin if someone's like,

oh, do you want the rest of these chips or something? Yeah. I'm never saying no to that. Yeah. I can't say no. But my wife eats food in such a way that it just looks like an explosion. What? It just looks so unappetizing.

She just tears everything on there to bits somehow. She's lots of, like, moving and, like, tearing a burger in such a way that, like... No, someone says, oh, do you want the other half of this burger? Yes. The dream is a slice half of a burger. Not the wet underbread. Katie does this. Some tomato.

A bit of the... but not really, it's kind of slipped out. Katie does this with detritus. And we'll be like, I will get something from like, she'll be like, oh, can you just grab this thing from our bedside? Yeah. And it'll be at a breakfast, and it'll be like, plate, fine. On top of that, a glass, fine.

And in the glass will be yogurt, a wet wipe. And under all that, a very precious coin that must not be thrown away. So you can't just bin this stuff. It always be like, a teaspoon will be in a amongst all this wet tea bag. And it's so like, when did you make this?

A Queen Anne Shilling will be somehow... When did you make this? This Tracy Emin piece. Because I understand what she's done in terms of, like, a waiter gathering everything up in one big go. I feel such guilt when a waiter has to pick up like a used napkin off the table. I'm like, oh no,

I'm always just like, I'll take that, please. I'm so sorry. That's gross for you. That wasn't part of the deal. It's like watching them have to pick up your pants. She'll be like, no, don't touch those. I'll burn those. I'll burn those. Don't touch those. Have you found any differences?

I'm interested if you've seen any differences with the flyers or the people who work at venues. I'm seeing the Gen Z-Ein-Alpha difference now, I think. As in, you're seeing what? What? Children? No, they just have different vibes. You're going to say lazy, aren't you? Lazy. Just confused. I guess there was a whole...

They seem more afraid. I don't know if I've been led by the media here, but, like, it's always hard to flyer. I fly it for years. The chain got broken. The chain got broken because of lockdown. Because it was always, there was an amazing trickle down constantly. Yeah.

It's why I think, like, from an outsider's perspective, the footlights enjoyed so much less consistently over the decades. Because there was always one team leader passing on that knowledge from Rich Diawardi down to John Oliver, down to David Mitchell, down to the next person, down to the next person. There was always a 22-year-old there to tell the 18-year-olds things. who now had an agent and was gonna move on to... Exactly.

And like, for instance, like, no other... Like, a sketch trooper at another university is not going to embark on their first ever US tour because they've got no precedent for it. Whereas if they go, oh, here's the spreadsheet, which just shows you how to do all this stuff. Yeah, that's true. So I think the fringe...

Institutional knowledge. Exactly, which then was lost in 2020 and 2021. Yeah. And I think as well, I went to the raw mile yesterday for the first time, obviously, with the wretch. And it was rammed. It's only when you're holding a four-year-old's hand that you realize just how stressful it is

and how around it is. But I wonder if, in the same way, we're not seeing fringe guides, people just book online now. You just book on, like, it was actually hard. But it was hard to book online even 10 years ago. It was actually easier to go to a box office and get your stuff printed off and all that sort of stuff. Mental.

So I think that's what it is. So I think there are just fewer flyers. So actually, you do feel a bit more self-conscious about being, like, you, sir, come and see this show. Because the only reason people would ever spoke like that was because there were 100 people just one decibel quieter in the near vicinity.

You had to be the loudest person. But I've been told, well, I've read articles by Gen Zers, that they see the grill gap is in their own generation between people who managed to get a decent amount of shit done pre-lockdown and those whose main life was destroyed by lockdown. Yeah. So there's not one Gen Z. There's pre-lockdown Gen Z and post-lockdown Gen Z.

And we see, in the same way of it. The oldest of Gen Z had already finished uni, by lockdown. In the same way, but like, a millennial is still like, what, like, 1994 or something like that?

At most. Yeah, but you go, they are simply not the same as a fucking 1882. No. You go, they're not. The generations need to be four years. Four?

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. But I think this is my first experience of the wave of lockdown survivor. Like, my whole degree was... Kimmy Schmitz. Yeah, Kimmy.

Yeah. Yeah, they're like Kimmy Schmidt. Oh, that sucks. Okay, yeah. I've got my sympathies. Maybe I'm looking for it, but I feel like there's a difference. Because I guess it's more pronounced when you're like, we're at the performing place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's Gollum. He's been fucking lost for three days. I feel like if I went to a kind of fringe bar and popped a balloon, it would get a much bigger reaction now than ever before. People would really scream, drop things. I mean, I'm scared of balloons, so yeah. I'd be under the table straight away. Well, 10 years you'd have just been...

I'd be like I was in a school shooting. We forget that you fear the balloon. Just a kid's toy that explodes. You went to a bubble show? Different, absolutely different. Is the sound that you hate? If a bubble made the noise of a balloon, I would have died on the...

Anyone would die. No one would get... Ooh, blow... Like... Bang, blah, blah, bang, bang, bye, bye! You'd be like a machine gun. Artillery fire. Loads of great grandfathers in the audience.

Immediately sort of... like holding onto tin hats that aren't there. Like, hands trembling. Like, it would just, it would sound like trenches. It would just be awful. You'd just be sitting there with your four-year-old going, He... Yeah.

Picking up a hatful of seawater. Yeah. So it's the banging. It's definitely the banging. And it's not only just, if it was a case of, oh, balloons turn a certain colour just before they explode and you know when it's coming. It's just how...

Random it could be. Probably I reckon what it must have been. The first balloon I ever saw pop must have been one that got too close to a candle. So there was no... It wasn't overly inflated. It was... That sort of thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is fucking loud. It is loud. And they still make me really flinch. Do you think you could get over it with exposure therapy, just pop hundreds of balloons in a row that you blow up yourself?

I think so, yeah. Because if it's in my control, I'm absolutely fine. Oh, yeah? If I jumped on a balloon of two feet, absolutely fine. Really? I'm killing the balloon. I'm in charge.

Justice. I am the captain now. Justice, I'm the balloon now. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Do you fear? Anything? Fear? I loathe. Yes, obviously, you've got, you know, people open-mouthed eating.

Bake beans. Bake beans. Millennial cutiness. All tweenus. Yeah. Because you do get it from the boomer generation a bit of her. Ooh, that a scrummy, yummy, yum-pim-pom, bibli-poo. All this kind of...

Uncle Harold, delicious scone. Professor Tiggie Winkle's lotion, lotion alunguant paste. Yeah, for thrush. Mrs. Crimble's bumble biscuits or whatever. That's, like, Mrs. Crimble is a real one. That's a real one. Oh, Crimbles. I think it's Mrs. Crimbles.

People say, Dr. Pimplston's crucial AIDS medication. You have to take it every day. A little hat with cogs on. What's this got to do with any of that? Professor Funglestein's Zeppelin delivered COVID vaccine. No. I just think, grow up. It's bad marketing, and the millennials are rightly being raked over the coals for that kind of thing.

But that's what annoys me, I'm like, how dare you? I never did this shit. Don't bring me into this. But we're the generation that, in general, en mass, we bought it. Because that's when we need generations of four years. But what's out? We have something lame. I guess the issue would be, it would go from Gen Z back to Gen A, and you'd have all 26 generations living still, like, potentially. Yeah.

Yeah, it would just become so... So, what do you call it, when things are in tiny little bits? Smithereens. Sure, it would become so smithereens. Far too smitherto. Disparate. Yeah, kind of granular. Granular, yeah, that's nice.

The level of analysis would have to be so granular. Yeah. You'd be like, well, that's an August. Gen. Delta. Yes, yeah, yeah. Okay. What is ours...

I think still, I remember around the time that I was graduating, there was all that kind of like Professor Potschenheimer's fucking cocktail bar stuff was really big, as was all the burger places. Burgers and cocktails. Burgers and cocktails?

Meat liquor, custom burger. The one that fucking George Osborne's mate did, the Eton guy. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. It's all burgers, baby. Burger, burger. Don't erase the burger history This is mad

This is like watching when I was like prescient David Bowie interviews from the 80s Yeah, yeah It's all burgers It's gonna all be about burgers Burgers, burgers burgers People People are going to pay too much for burgers in the future And they're going to be really greasy and messy

Because they've put bone marrow in the mixture Yeah, the issue is burgers of too much height and you want them to have a wits. That's the issue. Yeah, well, it would just end up becoming some kind of, the kind of cake that they'd used to celebrate your birthday in like Armenia or Georgia. Somewhere that you think of as Eastern Europe, but actually is even further away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's like, oh, no, it's like minced beef and gurkin and spices. Yeah. And it's in a big, wide, flat patty. And everyone gets a slice, and that's how you celebrate Easter. I like that, yeah. And over there, Easter is in August. And you go, all right, fuck, okay. The worst kind of a burger.

incident you can have. Given that you so often use the word burger to mean turds, it's really horrible. I said it once. Have you made your burger? So disgusting. Have you made your ballast, boy? The worst thing is when it comes, when it has the little checkered sort of grease-proof paper

for like your chips and stuff like that, and it becomes such a, your burger becomes such a mush that you realize there is a hole in the grease-proof paper and you're like, oh yeah, that last mouthful was really chewy. Yeah, I ate bloody paper. Yeah, yeah. Like a fucking vampire. Like a protest.

Oh, hmm. But that's our generation. It was 2012 in London. It was Burger Time. I wasn't in London in 2012. That's what I'm saying. In Sheffield, it was just gravy town, baby. Yeah.

All the different types of gravy. Bubbles. Burgers took a long time to... I remember going to, like, Cardiff. You didn't have burgers up north, you see. We got Wimper. What do you call? a burger, we used to call it a Bimimba.

We're somehow getting confused with Korean food. Do you call it a Cobber of Bam or a Bimba? We only had Bibbibbibbub. Bollgoggy. We had Bibbimbat, Bolgogi, Korean barbecue. You're mixing a raw egg and you've got to do it right quick. So it mixes up nice. Bovril or ramen, as we used to call it.

Yeah, it's in a tin. We had tantan men. We had Tungutsu. a thousand-year-old egg in there, enough. Well, you fancy southern us with your pasta. Your pasta, all we had was Patsumau. Life was hard in Sheffield. You're in Pantzumau.

And Massaman curry. That's all we had. I'm still laughing at Yorkshire. Really angry Yorkshire. Yeah, yeah. World food. World food style, Yorkshire. We only had black and green cardamom.

Try to find black cardamom, it's really hard. Where is it green, that's hard to find. One of them is impossible to find. Really? Yeah. The point is... Burger. Meat liquor.

Yes, I went down to meat liquor for my birthday. See? In 2012. This is the thing. And the queue was fucking round the block. This is our generation's legacy. Yeah. Huge wet burger.

Yes, they came out and gave us like mold cider and stuff like that as we queued up, Phoebe Wallerbridge and hot priest gave us all more cider as we cued. But no, they gave you like onion rings and stuff as you queued up. You could go in and drink gravy through... They'd made every member of Bastille hug and they'd pour the gravy from the burgers through their bodies

and you could drink it. It was a millennial paradise. It was so pointless. I did one of those ice sculpture shots at uni where it goes into the head of the Buddha a minute comes out the feet and it's a slide. It's what he would have wanted. What are we getting out of this?

What do we get? It's now, it's, it's streaked up the slide. Like, someone's had an accident in Typhoon Lagoon. Someone has gone to the theme part, gone to the water park, despite against their best wishes

within two weeks of having active diarrhea. Two weeks, wow. Two weeks is so funny. It's so funny. I've always wanted to post that and be sort of like, post it's going to be like, four more days till I can swim. Do you look a big countdown? I had diarrhea 13 days ago. So I'm not going in.

So I'm not allowed to be wet. Like a gremlin? I'll read in the car park. Because I had diarrhea 13 days ago. Get in, get it! No, I could get... I have diarrhea. I had diarrhea nearly two weeks ago.

Okay, all right. I had diarrhea 13 days ago. Yeah. Yes, that's right. Last month. Maybe that's why they'd never get in the... pool in Love Island, it's because they've all had diarrhea. Well, the catering is terrible quality.

They really... They've all had diarrhea within the last two weeks. That's about their feet are in the pool, but they're allowed you around the pool. They're not allowed in. That's why they say, can I just take you for a chat? It's just so they can both freely fart somewhere a bit safer. That's what it is. Absolutely ratchet.

Yeah. Well, look, that's all the time we have for this first episode. Right from the fringe. Hot from the fringe, it's time for the bonus part to be recorded. Yeah, first studio episode. Thanks again. kind of a live one. Yes.

And we are soaking wet. It's baking hot up here. Also, I'm gig wet. We are recording this straight after I've come off stage because I do, of course, have an 11 a.m. show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at the time of you hearing this, you can still... I'll be back in London, but you can still see Pierre.

Oh, yeah. With two shows. Yeah. Okay, one more than bedtime. 7 o'clock at Monkey Barrel 3? 7.05. 7. 5 at Monkey Barrel 3. And also do the one about in assembly at 1 p.m. 1pm, which I can see on my final day.

One last ride. Yes. Tata.