Business Innovators Radio - Alpha Queens Rising with Jennifer Jorgensen – Every System Failed Her Daughter — So She Built a New One

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Every System Failed Her Daughter — So She Built a New OneJennifer Jorgensen never imagined she would become a mental health advocate.She was simply a mother. Trying to protect her daughter. Doing what mothers do when they see their child hurting — asking for help, demanding intervention, refusing to accept dismissal as an answer.Every system failed her.And then came the call that no parent should ever receive.What Jennifer did next — not in spite of her grief but because of it — is a story about what happens when a woman refuses to let tragedy be the final word.She Saw It Before Anyone ElseJennifer’s daughter was a sensitive, deeply feeling child whose emotional world was often overwhelming. She was also the girl who wholeheartedly embraced a community project her mother created called Cookies with Cops — a simple, intentional idea that children and police officers who decorated cookies together might see each other with more compassion. Her daughter wanted to build bridges in a world full of walls.That was the essence of who she was.When the brightness began to dim, Jennifer noticed immediately. She writes in her chapter of Alpha Queens Rising: Where Purpose Meets Power: “I always knew my daughter was special. Her heart was sensitive, deep, and intuitive. When something shifted — when her brightness dimmed — I noticed immediately.”She asked for help from doctors, therapists, anyone who might intervene. The responses were dismissive. She is overreacting. Teenagers are emotional. She will grow out of it.“But I knew the difference between dramatic and drowning.”The Concussion That Changed EverythingThen came the concussion — a head injury that altered the entire landscape of her daughter’s health. Jennifer watched her struggle to think clearly, to regulate her emotions, to simply feel like herself again.What many families don’t know — and what Jennifer now teaches others — is that head injuries alter brain chemistry in ways that even medical professionals routinely underestimate. When you add hormonal changes and a nervous system already running on overload, the result is a storm that looks invisible from the outside. Jennifer could see it clearly. She asked for help. She was told to wait.Hormones, emotional sensitivity, and brain trauma created a crisis that no one in the medical system would acknowledge with the urgency it deserved.Still no safety plan. No immediate intervention. No one who treated her mother’s instinct as data worth acting on.The First AttemptThe day her daughter attempted suicide for the first time was the day Jennifer’s world permanently bent.Emergency room. Minimal evaluation. A checklist. A discharge. The label attached to the chart: attention-seeking behavior.Outpatient therapy was offered — weeks out. Not days. Weeks. In a crisis that required immediate care, the system handed them a waiting list.“It felt like screaming into a void,” Jennifer writes.She screamed anyway. She called. She followed up. She advocated louder and longer than any parent should have to. She documented everything. She did not accept the system’s pace when her daughter’s life was the stakes.None of it was enough.The CallAnd then came the call that ended everything.One sentence. Her daughter was gone.All the warnings Jennifer had raised. All the doors she had knocked on. All the late nights monitoring her daughter’s breathing, sitting outside her room, checking and rechecking.None of it mattered because the world did not listen.Grief after losing a child is not a wound — it is a world. Everything inside it reorganizes. The air is different. Time moves differently. Jennifer questioned herself in every direction. Did she do enough? Did she miss something? Was there one more door she should have knocked on?Her answer is clear and she has said it publicly, repeatedly, because it needs to be heard: “I didn’t fail her. The system failed her. And I refuse to let silence win.”A Mission Born From the UnspeakableJennifer made a choice in the aftermath of that loss that only the most courageous women make. She decided her daughter’s life would not end with her death. It would become a mandate.“If God chose me to be her mother,” she writes, “then He is choosing me now to be her voice.”She began creating Care Kits for teens in crisis — something tangible a struggling young person could hold in their hands that said one simple thing: you matter today. Not after the waiting list clears. Not after someone returns a call. Today.As parents and teens began sharing how these kits opened conversations that had previously been impossible, Jennifer realized she had built something more than comfort. She had built a point of intervention.The Care Bag ProgramShe took that realization to her county’s sheriff’s department. They listened. Together, they created the Care Bag Program — a tangible, immediate resource for families navigating mental health emergencies in real time.Each bag is assembled with care and purpose. It contains a small sharps box, a cabinet lock, a drug-dissolver pouch, Narcan, tools for de-escalating anxiety, and local emergency resources. Every item has a reason. Every item represents a gap in the system that Jennifer refused to accept.She is actively building additional programs to support both teens and adults at risk. The work has expanded beyond kits and into education, community partnerships, and public awareness — because Jennifer understands that one program is not enough. The system failed at multiple points. The response has to match the scale of the failure.If even one life is saved because of her daughter’s story, she writes, her purpose continues.What She Needs the World to HearJennifer Jorgensen is a mental health advocate dedicated to preventing suicide and supporting families in crisis. Guided by her Christian faith and her daughter’s legacy, she creates Care Kits for teens and collaborates with law enforcement to provide immediate, accessible resources for families when they need them most.Her message is not abstract. It is specific, urgent, and grounded in what she learned the hardest way a mother can learn anything:“Parents know their children. Our voices must matter.”Mental health struggles are real. Brain injuries matter. Anxiety is not drama. Silence is deadly. Suicide is preventable. And a waiting list is not a safety plan.She fights now because her daughter cannot. She speaks now because her daughter was silenced. She builds now because every child deserves better than what her daughter received.Her mission is clear and it will not stop: no child should feel so alone that they believe there is no way out.Alpha Queens Rising: Where Purpose Meets Power is available now. A portion of proceeds supports FITGirl, Inc.If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.Read the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GCVDSRRBWomen Innovators with Tami Patzerhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/women-innovators-with-tami-patzer/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/alpha-queens-rising-with-jennifer-jorgensen-every-system-failed-her-daughter-so-she-built-a-new-one

Women Innovators. Interviews with women with big messages and big missions, sharing their stories to inspire you to live your passion and step up to make the world a better place. Here's your host, Tammy Patser. Hi, everyone. This is Dr. Tamara Patser. And today, my guest is Jen Jorgensen. and Jen is an advocate for suicide prevention starting in the state of Nebraska. And she also wrote a chapter in Alpha Queen's Rising.

And I'm really happy to introduce you, Jen. And I'm going to let you talk about who you are and what your big mission is. So first of all, welcome. Hi. As she said, I'm Jen Jorgensen, and I'm a mother of four. I share custody with my twin brother of my oldest because he was in high school when we took in the sibling set. And then God blessed us with a little boy after being told, you know, at the age of 18, that we probably weren't going to be able to have kids. So God blessed us with at least one.

I am a parent who is big about teaching her children to be advocates for themselves and to always be aware of mental health. Like when things are starting to change, I always ask my kids to talk with me and to work through what maybe they're feeling. Sometimes they're feeling something that is a little bit bigger than them. So you want to help them with that. or maybe it's something that is like, okay, well, we can just let that go. That isn't something that's going to affect you long term. So you've got to teach them and help them navigate all that the world is throwing at them at once. That's interesting.

So you have, am I correct that you actually have many children, one biological, and then the rest you literally were blessed with through circumstances. Is that accurate? Yeah, and it all happened in a year. So we went from being told not possibly not having kids to finding out we're pregnant and then the next month asked to take in three kids. So within a year, we went from no kids to three, a baby and two living with us. And then sharing our oldest with my twin who kept him so he could stay in the high school that he was in. We just didn't feel like it was. beneficial to move him while in high school to another high school and start all over again, which was a great decision because he went on to the Marine Corps and he's got a great life for him. So we made the right decision there. That's super.

And it's interesting because just listening to what you, when you talk to your children, you're talking with them and helping them to process their different emotions and feelings. And of course, growing up, especially in the world today, it's, I don't know if it's different or not, but it just seems like there's a lot more noise and pressure in the world than there was, say, when I was a kid growing up without all the technology and everything. So I'm really curious. So all of your advocacy is rooted in lived experience. but what happened or what changed inside of you to say, I have to do something about this problem,

this problem of suicide? The sad fact is that the age from 10 to 14 years old is the second most leading cause of death and children is suicide. To me, that is my current 10-year-olds. that's the start of his age to an eighth grader. So you're looking from fifth grade to eighth grade kids that are killing themselves. Having a child who had mental health and she was very like, mom, something's not right. I don't feel right. She was teaching her to be an advocate for herself. She was constantly telling us that she didn't feel right. We were finding, you know, taking her to a

therapist and I highly recommend you, you interview your therapist. You don't just pick one and go with it because you have to find the right one that is going to support your family core values, plus support this child who is going through things that they don't always share with you as a parent. I mean, I can say that I'm a parent who the first sign our daughter was cutting herself. And we didn't even know it because she hid it so well from us that a teacher at school had caught it. and had kind of reached out to us. We had taken her to like a mental health hospital and kind of got dismissed. And from there, no, there was no like try these therapists. We didn't walk away with a list of anyone to try.

It was kind of just like, oh, it's a cry for help or it's not a cry for help. It's just being a kid. And we were just so dismissed and I walked away like, this cannot be the only answer for, somebody who the kid is expressing something's not right. It wasn't me expressing it. It was my child telling me she didn't feel right. There was something wrong with her. And she was right. She had things going on that none of us knew or understood. And as a mom, even though I didn't birth her, I still have this connection with her that like I wasn't going to stop until I found the right therapist. Well, we did. And then.

and health insurance, oh, well, we're not going to be with this provider anymore. So then you get kicked out and you have to start over and you have to keep doing this process. But the thing is a parent, you have to stay an advocate for your child even when they give up because they need to see somebody's fighting for them. Wow. What I really hear you saying is that there's so many obstacles, even when you recognize that you need help, that there's obstacles in the way, like finding the right therapist, having insurance that doesn't stop in the middle of a program

with the one therapist that is actually helping and forcing you to keep shifting gears when human beings need certainty and a process. And when things keep changing and everything, And not only would that be extremely frustrating, like it can break that chain of recovery. Am I right in that? Yeah, 100%. Because when you finally find a therapist who's able to, the child's able to feel comfortable

and let down. So when you take in a foster kid, I always say that they come with baggage that I like to say that it's like a black trash bag, but that black trash bag has probably 10, 15, 20 layers of a trash bag with whatever is inside there, that they're hiding or pushing down or suppressing. And when you find a therapist who's able to unravel all of those layers of those bags or those layers that are in the child that, like, they are, that means that kid is opening up, that they're all peeling off those layers and showing their raw emotion because when you take in someone else's kids, they have the thickest skin in the world because they have bounced around

from homes. They taught themselves to be tough. They don't usually let down their guard. They will because they believe that they're not going to stay with you. So they don't form an attachment. They're not going to show you what's really going on. They're not going to tell you any of that stuff. And when you finally get them to unravel those layers with you and you get a therapist that is able to also do that with you or with the child, they are now able to speak freely with them. I know that oftentimes I would have to do once a month, I would go in with my daughter. And my daughter and I would have therapy together, which I highly, as someone who's dealt with a child with mental health, that is super important to a child who has mental health for recovery because

they need to know you're there on their team and not dropping them off with somebody for an hour a week to share their feelings, as they would call it. Like, at first, our daughter thought it was stupid, going to a therapist. And then once we found the right one, she was able to find ways to relate to her, whether it be through music, art. My daughter was an amazing artist. And they would draw pictures back and forth and through their appointments they would share. And this therapist just was able to get her to communicate, maybe not always with words, but through music, through art, through even dressing. like what kind of clothes she wore, how she wore them.

There are so many ways you can talk to a child that you don't really realize until you're fully submerged into it. And if you have the right therapist, they're going to help you unravel all those layers, whether it be through play, art, music, the way they're dressing, the way they hold themselves. So in your case, you found the right there. It was the feelings were being expressed. Did something in the system make a disconnect with that therapist? Is that what happened?

Yeah. So her insurance dropped the therapist. And it, it honestly, every time we found one that we absolutely loved and we were connecting with, insurance would do that to us. So when you have a child who, like, so I shared, I had guardianship of the kids. And when you do that, you're sharing custody basically with the state. So our biggest obstacle was the state. They're the ones who we kept having to hurdle over the top of. And I even got to one point where we were like, what will it cost us out of pocket to?

pay. Well, that's catastrophic expense that you're doing, but you need, the child needs it. And when you would go to the state and be like, we need to be in line with this therapist because this therapist and her have a connection and they don't care. We got told there are other ones on the network. You do that. And then when we would say that she's suicidal, we would get told that we were picking on her and if you know my kids they're mixed. We even got told we were being racist at one point and I was like, excuse me. Like I don't see color and we have a little girl next door who came up and she was, this is my favorite story. She came up and she goes, so your daughter is dark in your so she was more offended to call me pasty white than she was to ask.

why my daughter was dark skin and I was not. And I said, well, I'm not her biological mom. I'm her biological aunt, but I'm her mom now. And she goes, oh, okay. And be baffed away. Like, I was like, it's that simple to explain the difference between us. But like, when someone called me racist, I was like, oh, wow, that was because I was trying to speak up for my child's mental health, I got called racist for speaking up for her mental health. And I was just, flabbergasted it by that, that I was like, okay, so now I see the obstacles that I am trying to hurdle over. I can only imagine what my daughter's hurtling now. It's probably 10 times worse when she's going into appointments and, you know, feeling like she's hitting a wall as well,

where I'm sitting in the waiting room feeling like I'm hitting a wall with these therapists that didn't work up for us. But these are what the state we're saying, you have to try these once because this is the only people that we're going to cover in our network. And had I, we tried to fight for adoption, which the state fought us on doing that as well. And had we been able to do that, I would have been able to put her on private insurance and been able to probably get her with, and keep her with her therapist. And had the state had listened to us and taken in the mental health hospital that we took her to and the therapist taken us seriously when we said that she was suicidal, I believe my daughter would still be here today.

So, again, roadblocks, obstacles. If you could design the ideal protocol that the state or therapists or anyone involved with mental health issues to do. What would that look like? I think for kids, I think honestly, when it comes down to mental health, I think if a child finds a therapist that they're able to relate with and communicate and work with, pay. The insurance should pay for it. Like, don't be, my feeling with the state stuff is that they get paid per kid that stays in the system. They don't get paid per kid that moves on and makes a better life for themselves. They get paid for the ones that stay in the system and generationally keep having kids that stay in the system.

That's how the state gets paid. They don't get paid for kids that are being getting well. And that was always what we learned through this whole process. My in-laws fostered over 52 kids through their home. They saw the same thing. It was very disheartening when we learned that. That if they start to see you doing better, it's like they pull you out of that and they yank you back. in it and we learned that with our daughter with the full fledge.

Every place we took her to, we would start to get better and we would get kicked out of that, like not kicked out necessarily, but the insurance would no longer cover that therapist. It seemed like when we were making progression, it would always happen. And then went for a child like her, that's another loss. And if you pile on all those losses, you know, losing your bio, parents, moving house to house to house, different foster homes, stuff like that. Those are all losses to the kids and those are all foundational breaks in a child that every time you put a crack in that foundation, you're causing long-term damage to their mental health. Oh, my goodness gracious.

So you're making my mind spin here because there's so many different questions about, you know, like, obviously you can look at the entire system and it's very obvious that it's broken and it's not designed, like you said, it's not designed to help people graduate into a healthy life so that it breaks that generational thing that you mentioned. So the, you live in Nebraska. And obviously your children were going to the public schools, and then you have police officers and different people in the area. So what should every school have in place as a safety net? Like, for example, you mentioned that a teacher actually recognized that there was the cutting happening that you were not.

not aware of. So obviously she did the right thing and told you so that you would be able to move that forward. What do you think a safety net should be in a school setting? I think we have to normalize having therapy in school. One of the schools that we had her at, she was able to do therapy in school. And I honestly think that when you have therapy, in school for kids who are at a higher risk for suicide or have come from very different backgrounds that cause them to be a higher risk for mental health issues. I feel like a class, like if they're doing individual service or therapy in school, that that should be kind of a credit for them is because they are working on their well-being

and their mental health. And for some of those people, for some of those kids, that is, that is a lot of work. That is like, you know, maybe doing an algebra class or taking an AP class or something. People don't understand what it is when you have a kid that has mental health. You're not only dealing with things that are going on in their head, but you're also trying to get them back to the things that they love. basic showering skills sometimes disappear, like hygiene skills in general, will disappear. You'll start to see them wear like frumpy clothes, oversized clothes, opposite sex clothes, all of those are cries out that they are begging for help.

And if you can get them to admit that they're having issues and they work through it, why not reward them with that being one of their classes? that they're taking care of themselves. Or even having someone, I know that most of the counselors that are in the school don't have a mental health background. So these counselors that they're working with that are either helping them pick out classes and stuff and they're considered the counselor in the school where there should be able to go if they're having problems, don't have a mental health background at all.

Some do, some don't. I know the ones at our school, only our elementary teacher or elementary school has one that does, but our high school does not. And so the high school counselor didn't know how to handle her, nor did the school nurse know how to handle her either. You have to have somebody who understands mental health, I think in the school system to be able to help with a crisis. Like sometimes my daughter would sit underneath her desk and I would get a phone call saying she's sitting underneath her desk and I said, you should leave her right where she is and don't touch her. And they're like, well, she needs to be sitting in her desk. I said, no, that's where she feels comfortable.

Something in that classroom makes her feel unsafe. And by being underneath the desk, she feels safe. So, but the fact that teachers didn't know that, or we had shared that stuff with the school nurse net, that that wasn't being relayed on to other people to be able to understand why she was doing what she was doing. Instead, she just got deemed as not following the rules. rules, not listening to the teacher and she would get in trouble. And I'm like, no, actually, at the beginning of school, we warned you guys of this stuff. So I think we shun mental health as you're a problem versus normalizing it and helping kids understand that there's not a problem with them, that some of this stuff can be chemical imbalance. I grew up with a brother who had

quite a bit of mental health problems when we were in elementary. And it was finding the right medication to balance that out for him to be able to regulate those motions and those thoughts and stuff in his head. But it takes time because I can tell you I probably went through 10 different medications for our daughter to try to balance up the things that were going on with her. And it always changes because when you have kids going through, puberty, as we all know, their emotions are like this as it is on puberty. Well, you are also changing doses of prescriptions as well throughout the whole process. And I think on one of the

medications, we probably changed the dose five times within a year. So it's a trial and error thing, but if you don't have a whole team of people supporting you, well, and they're calling her troublemaker or saying she's doing this and that. And it's like, no, you don't understand what's really going on. Even though we explained it, it was like almost like I had to get all of her teachers in one room and say, hey, this is what's going on. But we didn't really want to like get into detail with everybody. We just needed them to know a general information. And if this happens, please get this person because they'll be able to help her. Well, you have to have to have that person in a school setting. And I would love to see a mental health therapist in the school

settings for these kids that are struggling. Because it's not, you can have someone who has mental health because they have chemical imbalances and you can have somebody who is a kid who has a disease that knows that's going to kill him eventually or her eventually. And that can cause mental health issues as well. So you have to be able to have somebody who knows how to juggle all of that for these kids. Well, I know in our local elementary school, we have a school resource officer who's like, I guess, the school police officer. And his, what I thought is interesting when you call the school, the first name on the list

for one is the resource officer, which I thought was kind of an odd placement for, you know, the school police officer. I had a question. Your daughter ended up having a concussion. What do you think that contributed to her issues? Did you notice anything after that happened? Yeah. So the first about month or so,

we had a glimpse of our child prior to all of the things that she like it was a glimpse backwards at first. We had this child who loved herself again, was very happy with herself, back to drawing again, getting dressed, taking care of herself. While fighting the obstacles of a concussion, and when I say a concussion, she hit her head so hard that she was cross-eyed and seeing everything upside down and backwards. That's how severe her concussion. was. She missed an entire month of school because she couldn't see to walk and stuff. And it was weird that we got this glimpse

backwards to the child I always knew was there. And then about maybe a month, two months after, as her brain is starting to heal from the concussion, did we really start to see the suicide attempts ramp up. And they wanted to dismiss that they were, you know, the concussion was with this. And we kept getting like, she's just being a teenager. She's just trying to act out. And I was like, no, I firmly believe that this is something from the concussion. And the first hospital that we had went to didn't do enough testing to let

us know. All they did was like an MRI and said, there's no brain, really, she has a concussion, go home, relax, let her sleep. Basically is what happened. And then they didn't even take off the sunglasses. She was wanting to see that she was cross-eyed, nothing like that. Then we went to Children's Hospital, which I wish I would have went there first, and met with a concussion clinic that this doctor only specializes in concussions. We started getting answers. We started getting like she needs to go to vision therapy. And we did three years of vision therapy with this 15 different glasses to bring her eyes back to normal.

She had one that would still sling in everyone when she was tired or exhausted. That's how we knew it would sling in. But with this doctor, we were able to start getting answers and being told that yes, these this stuff can be effects from the concussion. And I was like, okay, finally we met somebody that was great. Then we get introduced to this other lady who thinks that eventually our daughter would have been diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar. Most of that doesn't show up in a woman until in their 20s.

And they can't really be tested until in their 20s. Well, the concussion, what we were told, pushed all that forward. So sometimes when you have mental health. things that are there, but because you can't test until a certain age to know whether they're either bipolar schizophrenia, because some of those testsings, you have to wait till later in life to figure that out. A concussion can bring all that forward. It can move everything tremendously forward. And that's what we got told was they believed. So the doctor moved us on to another doctor who was going to do this testing. And in the midst of that, the state came in and

stopped it, preventing her from being able to get on the medication she needs. And in that process, like, had she been able to get on the right medication, it would have probably balanced out the suicidal thoughts that she had, the wanting to harm herself, all of that that in this doctor that we saw was like, absolutely, all the things that she's going through, she's like, I think I already know, but I need to test her because the insurances, I have to test her. So you do one testing one time and then you come back in a month or so and you do another testing. So we did the one. And then we went to go to the other one, we got halted. And it was, it was so frustrating because I felt like we finally had someone who

was listening to us and someone who was going to get us to the direction we needed to get. And I believe that my daughter's death was absolutely preventable. It just, I don't even have any words for how, you know, you find the help you need. You're on the right path. You're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. And then the powers that be just said, no, we're not going to let this person become healthy again because of whatever the reasons are. But I wanted to ask you, this is still a fairly new, it's only been about a year or a little more than a year since that happened that you lost your daughter to suicide. And now, even though it's only been a year, you've done a lot of proactive things to help it other people, other parents, other, you know, people who.

who just love their children and their families to help them. And you've created a care kit. Can you tell me about that? So yeah, the care kit's still in work and progress with the Deplace Department. So it hasn't rolled officially out. Some of the stuff is being used, but we just don't have the care package together. And there's two items that we're still trying to figure out. We're trying to work with companies that will help us.

So one of them is locks for cabinets. So my ideal lock, it's got to be something that we can give to the parents and it's easily to put on that they're not drilling in their cabinets, stuff like that, to lock up medications. Most common ways that kids take their life is usually like you're over-the-counter medicine. And they'll take an excessive amount of them to take off their life. essentially. So locking up medications, including Tylenol, that can be very dangerous to children. We also are looking for Sharps containers where we're trying to work with a company that will help

get them at a little bit more affordable cost so that we can give these two families for free. And so the Sharps containers are for objects with having a child who cut herself. she would take apart her razor. And so I had to give her her razor when she would shower. Then I had to take it back and make sure all the blades were there. So being able to dispose of things that are sharp that you don't want your kids to harm themselves with. Honestly, I believe most homes should, I think every home should have a sharps container of some sort. Because, you know, you have razors, you have tools that you use that are sharp.

that once they become not great to use anymore, you should be able to have a place to dispose of them instead of kind of thrown them in the trash as well. But so those will be there. We also have, I've worked with several mental health therapists in the area, kind of asking what they see with kids that they work with and what they would like to see as preventable, like packaging for parents. And so I've gotten several really awesome, like, how. how to reduce stress with kids in different age groups.

So the packets will have for all age groups because we don't know when a police officer rolls out what age they're going to get. So the care package will have ranging from three years old to 20 years old of how to handle stress. What to do if they're saying depressive thoughts. Mental health therapists in the area to try. We also have the suicide hotline number on. there in the suicide hotline and I have teamed up. They've given me lots of information, pamphlets, stickers for kids to be able to put on their water bottles. And some of them say, you matter, we care about you, you are love, things to remind these kids that they are worth

keeping here. And all of this care package is going to go in like a reusable bag. And the officer is going to go and give it to whatever, when they go out for a call. all. And if they deem it as a child who is struggling and the parents need this package, it's more geared for the parents, but has some little things in there for the kids to let them know. And this is to help guide parents to be able to protect their child and help them teach their child to be an advocate for when something's wrong. Because most of the time, when something's wrong, what do kids do? They don't come to you and say something's wrong. They either, when they're younger, they throw a tantrum. When they're older, they disconnect from things, whether it be the

stuff they love or they disconnect from the people they love. You're right, because I think of, you know, about I have little grandchildren. They're three and four. And their go-to, of course, is to throw a tantrum when something isn't right. Or they'll say something that is totally like, like, you don't love me. And it's like, what? Yeah, because of course you love them more. than anything, you know, that can exist. So your, the care kits are something that you're doing. Are you, so you're talking with the different police officers. Do you have any parents or families who feel comfortable talking to you?

Do you do any type of that type of work or any? a group? I mentor. In the state of Nebraska, it's called teammates. I highly recommend everybody that if you have 30 minutes once a week to be able to give to a child. So I meet 30 minutes once a week with a child and sometimes we play games. Our love together is we both love to cook. So we will always bake recipes and bring them to each other to try. We'll talk about things that we've made during the week's new recipes. We'll trade off recipes together. She really likes to kick my butt in card games because I'm not good at card games at all. So I can always tell when she's been defeated because we play a card game so she can beat me and gloat. And then I know

exactly how her day has gone. And then there's times that we just go and, walk and talk because I can tell that sitting isn't going to be what she can do at the moment. And I've had my kids since third grade and now we're a sophomore in high school. So I only got two more years and then we're done. And I will pick up another kid to mentor. And ironically, we got our daughter into this program first. And then she came home probably a month into her mentoring or being mentored. bagging my husband and I to join the program. And I was like, I don't know if I have time,

you know, and honestly dealing with a kid that has mental health, like, you as a parent feel exhausted all the time. And honestly, it was the best thing that she pushed me to do because I love what I did. It actually lit a fire in me, even though I was exhausted most days. I was always so excited to go meet with my person for 30 minutes. And, the week. I would look forward to it. I couldn't wait to get to that day to do it. So I was like, if this is how I feel, I can't imagine how she feels. And I can't imagine how my daughter feels now. Like I, I'm like, wow. And so we became mentors and it is just, it's a light. And then I've also gotten a lot of friends to get into the program. It's just amazing the effects that it has on a

and you're only giving them 30 minutes once a week. You are the positive, you're just another positive person in their life for them. 30 minutes can change someone's life. I think that that's a huge message because, like you said, so many people are like, I don't have time, I don't have time. But most people could find 30 minutes to carve out. That could make a huge difference. So I wanted to ask you this question because I think it's really important.

How can families normalize talking about mental health and maybe not just families, but how can everyone normalize mental health and get rid of the stigma so that people can get the help they need? I so that's a that's a good question I toy with that a lot myself I think that the best way to normalize it is quit telling them that they have a problem or something's wrong with them when they express like when our daughter expressed that she wanted to kill herself and I instead of saying stop thinking like that and yelling and scolding her I said well why why don't you think think you should stay here. And her answer was simple. She thought she wasn't loved. Sometimes it just can the answer can be so simple for them. Like when I go back to the young girl who didn't understand my daughter's skin tone and her and are two different skin tones. And I simply just said she had a different mommy and that made sense and she was on her way. Sometimes it can be just that simple with a kid. And sometimes it can be where it leads to open up more.

more doors. And for us, it led to open up more doors. She thought she wasn't loved because the things that had happened in her childhood to her. And how could God let that happen to her? Because my family, my husband and I are very religious people. And we very much believe in God. And in her brain, why would God allow that to happen to her? She didn't think she was loved enough. And that something was wrong with her that these. things happened to her. She didn't understand that somebody did those and took advantage of a very innocent child versus, so you have to slowly walk them through the steps, but instead of criticizing them on things, like when she would wear big frumpy clothes, it drove me absolutely insane.

Or when she, I say, we're going out for dinner and we're all dressed up nice and she runs upstairs and puts a pajama pants on. I would get so furious. And somebody once said to me, like, Why? Why do you get furious over pajama pants? She's got clothes on. She's going to go to dinner with you guys. That should be enough. And I was like, you're absolutely right. So instead of throwing like a fit and yelling at her and telling her to change her clothes, I'd be like like your outfit. Looks comfy. I wish I could dress that way. Hey, let's get in the car and let's go out for dinner. Or hey, let's go shopping. And I started supporting those when she would do that stuff. And then I would start to see her change. she would run upstairs and change her clothes when she knew she was going on a date with mom. One of the other big things that I also believe you should do with your kids is no matter how many kids you have, you're going to have to figure out the time frame that you do it. But we call it dating our kids. So my husband and I would take turns taking the kid individually, either to lunch or shopping or whatever,

even if it was just simply going grocery shopping, you're only taking that one kit. So you have the one-on-one time with them. Because when you have multiple kids, it's so hard. to find one-on-one time with kids. We started dating our children, as we called it. And that's when we started learning more about things that had happened to our daughter. Because honestly, it's a car ride to wherever you're going. It's like, I don't know what it is.

It's a word vomit that happens. And my daughter would just explode. It didn't matter whether it was me or my husband. She would word vomit to us. And then my husband and I, we get together and communicate with each other about it. and figure out how are we going to help her? So you're going to pull them separately. She'll tell me certain things and tell him certain things, but then when we put them together, we can see the whole picture. And so that is key to don't discredit them. Don't make them feel

any worse than they already feel because as anyone ever has said, we're our own worst critics. Imagine a teenager with hormones. They're 10 times worse on themselves than anyone else can be to them. So don't be that person that's dragging them down. Be the person that lifts them up. Even in their pajama pants, I always joked. Because she would wear her pajama pants a lot. So I was like, even in your pajamas pants, you're still awesome. And so we would make little jokes and go back and forth, be lighthearted.

The other thing that we would always do with our kids, they have these little foam, squishy ball things. We would turn off all the lights so you can't target somebody. But we would run around how shooting them. and you would hear something again hit. But you couldn't target somebody, but it relieved stress. So find things that you can do as a family that release stress for you as a family as a whole. Because those moments are the best because ironically when we did that when I heard and I ended up underneath the table together, we were just at opposite ends of our dining room

table. And once we realized that we started unloading on each other, shooting each other. It was just the stress. And then we're cracking up laughing. And then everyone's feeling good again. But you find these moments that you can help them relieve stress because being a teenager in today's society, you're looking at all the TikToks, the Instagrams, Facebook, whatever, they have these kids believing that there's a certain lifestyle that they have to live.

And if they don't live it, they're not worth anything. And so you have to teach them that that stuff isn't real. those are 10 minutes of a set up glamour that probably took them an hour to get that glamorous look for the 10 minutes of fame on social media. I really like all those suggestions that you give for having fun and talking with them and paying that attention, that one-on-one. And then, of course, like you said, she would tell your husband something, and tell you something, then you get together,

and you can get the whole story. And I think that's very useful. So I wanted to just close out with a question. Obviously, your daughter, even though she was only here for a very short time, she really left a legacy. And if you were to name that legacy, what would you call it? I don't know. That's one question I'm still trying to figure out because we do a cookie drive in honor of her that her and I did a long time ago back when she was little little, I started it to teach her that police officers and them are people doing their job. They're not bad people. And then her and I grew it into a beautiful program through the teammates. And then we also have a clothing drive that. stemmed from my daughter noticing a couple kids at school wearing the same clothes that she went in her

closet and emptied it out because she knew she emptied out her closet and gave it away that mom would have to take her thrifting again. So I got what she was doing after she was doing it. She really just wanted it to go shopping. But it was the random acts of kindness that my daughter always did that she didn't do it for the glam or the glitz. She did it because it was the right thing. to do. And she, she loved helping other people. She loves service work. I mean, we worked endless food banks together. And at first, she was so nervous to do them. But then she just fell right into it and just was a natural at it. I would like to believe that I kind of rubbed off from me from all the volunteer work that I love doing. And I do it just because it's the right thing to do.

And I think that's where her clothing drive and then her pushing to make this cookie drive a bigger thing, which now I'm even more eager to push and make it bigger since she's passed. So the things that she loved to do and saw here while she was here, I'm now trying to grow those into these beautiful projects that she started. I'm trying to make them bigger for her. she was just such a beautiful soul. Thank you so much, Jen. I really appreciate you sharing everyone. You can read Jennifer Jen Jorgensen's story in Alpha Queen's Rising. And if you need information about suicide or if that's something that you're thinking about,

there is help available. and you can dial 988 across the United States, and that is the suicide hotline. So again, I think, Jen, you said it. You said, you are loved. And I'd like to leave everyone with that. You are loved. Thank you so much, Jen. Thank you.

Hi, everyone. This is Dr. Tamara Patser. And today my guest is Jen Jorgensen. And Jen is an advocate for suicide prevention starting in the state of Nebraska. And she also wrote a chapter in Alpha Queen's Rising. And I'm really happy to introduce you, Jen. And I'm going to let you talk about who you are and what your big. mission is. So first of all, welcome. Hi. As she said, I'm Jen Jorgensen and I'm a mother of four. I share

custody with my twin brother of my oldest because he was in high school when we took in the sibling set. And then God blessed us with a little boy after being told, you know, at the age of 18 that we probably weren't going to be able to have kids. So God blessed us. list us with at least one. I am a parent who is big about teaching her children to be advocates for themselves and to always be aware of mental health. Like when things are starting to change, I always ask my kids to talk with me and to work through what maybe they're feeling. Sometimes they're feeling something that is a little bit bigger than them. So you want to help them with that. or maybe it's something that is like, okay, well, we can just let that go.

That isn't something that's going to affect you long term. So you've got to teach them and help them navigate all that the world is throwing at them at once. That's interesting. So you have, am I correct, that you actually have many children, one biological, and then the rest you literally were blessed with through circumstances. Is that accurate? Yeah, and it all happened in a year. So we went from being told not possibly not having kids to finding out we're pregnant and then the next month asked to take in three kids. So within a year, we went from no kids to three, a baby and two living with us. And then sharing our oldest with my twin who kept him so he could stay in the high school that he was in. We just didn't feel like it was. beneficial to move him while in high school to another high school and start all over again,

which was a great decision because he went on to the Marine Corps and he's got a great life for him. So we made the right decision there. That's super. And it's interesting because just listening to what you, when you talk to your children, you're talking with them and helping them to process their different emotions and feelings. And of course, growing up, especially in the world today, it's, I don't know if it's different or not, but it just seems like there's a lot more noise and pressure in the world than there was, say, when I was a kid growing up without all the technology and everything.

So I'm really curious. So all of your advocacy is rooted in lived experience. but what happened or what changed inside of you to say, I have to do something about this problem, this problem of suicide? The sad fact is that the age from 10 to 14 years old is the second most leading cause of death and children is suicide. To me, that is my current 10-year-olds.

that's the start of his age to an eighth grader. So you're looking from fifth grade to eighth grade kids that are killing themselves. Having a child who had mental health and she was very like, mom, something's not right. I don't feel right. She was teaching her to be an advocate for herself. She was constantly telling us that she didn't feel right. We were finding, you know, taking her to a therapist and I highly recommend you, you interview your therapist.

don't just pick one and go with it because you have to find the right one that is going to support your family core values plus support this child who is going through things that they don't always share with you as a parent. I mean, I can say that I'm a parent who the first sign our daughter was cutting herself. And we didn't even know it because she hid it so well from us that a teacher at school had caught it and had kind of reached out to us. We had taken her to, like, a mental health hospital and kind of got dismissed. And from there, no, there was no, like, try these therapists. We didn't walk away with a list of anyone to try. It was kind of just like, oh, it's a cry for help,

or it's not a cry for help, it's just being a kid. And we were just so dismissed and I walked away, like this cannot be the only answer for somebody who the kid is expressing something's not right. It wasn't me expressing it. It was my child telling me she didn't feel right. There was something wrong with her. And she was right. She had things going on that none of us knew or understood. And as a mom, even though I didn't birth her, I still have this connection with her that like, I wasn't going to stop until I found the right therapist. Well, we did. And then, you know, health insurance, oh, well, we're not going to be with this provider

anymore. So then you get kicked out and you have to start over and you have to keep doing this process. But the thing is a parent, you have to stay an advocate for your child, even when they give up because they need to see somebody's fighting for them. Wow. What I really hear you saying is that there's so many. obstacles, even when you recognize that you need help, that there's obstacles in the way, like finding the right therapist, having insurance that doesn't stop in the middle of a program

with the one therapist that is actually helping and forcing you to keep shifting gears when human beings need certainty and a process. And when things keep changing and everything, not only would that be extremely frustrating, like it can break that chain of recovery. Am I right in that? Yeah, 100%. Because when you finally find a therapist who's able to, the child is able to feel comfortable and let down.

So when you take in a foster kid, I always say that they come with baggage that I always I like to say that it's like a black trash bag, but that black trash bag has probably 10, 15, 20 layers of a trash bag with whatever is inside there, that they're hiding or pushing down or suppressing. And when you find a therapist who's able to unravel all of those layers of those bags or those layers that are in the child that, like, they are, that means that kid is opening up, that they're peeling off those layers and showing their raw emotion because when you take in someone else's kids, they have the thickest skin in the world because they have bounced around from homes. They taught themselves to be tough. They don't usually let down their guard. They will,

because they believe that they're not going to stay with you. So they don't form an attachment. They're not going to show you what's really going on. They're not going to tell you any of that stuff. And when you finally get them to unravel those layers with you and you get a therapist that is able to also do that with you or with the child, they are now able to speak freely with them. I know that oftentimes I would have to do once a month, I would go in with my daughter. And my daughter and I would have therapy together, which I highly, as someone who's dealt with a child with mental health, that is super important to a child who has mental health for recovery, because they need to know you're there on their team and not dropping them off with somebody

for an hour a week to share their feelings, as they would call it. Like, at first, our daughter thought it was stupid, going to a therapist. And then once we found the right one, she was able to find ways to relate to her, whether it be through music, art. My daughter was an amazing artist. And they would draw pictures back and forth. And through their appointments, they would share it. And this therapist just was able to get her to communicate, maybe not always with words, but through music, through art, through even dressing. like what kind of clothes she wore, how she wore them.

There are so many ways you can talk to a child that you don't really realize until you're fully submerged into it. And if you have the right therapist, they're going to help you unravel all those layers, whether it be through play, art, music, the way they're dressing, the way they hold themselves. So in your case, you found the right there. therapist. It was the feelings were being expressed. Did something in the system make a disconnect with that therapist? Is that what happened? Yeah. So her insurance dropped the therapist. And it, it honestly, every time we found one that we absolutely loved and we were connecting with, insurance would do that to us. So when you have,

have a child who, like, so I shared, I had guardianship of the kids. And when you do that, you're sharing custody basically with the state. So our biggest obstacle was the state. They're the ones who we kept having to hurdle over the top of. And I even got to one point where we were like, what will it cost us out of pocket to pay? well, that's catastrophic expense that you're doing, but you need, the child needs it. And when you would go to the state and be like, we need to be in line with this therapist because this therapist and her have a connection and they don't care.

We got told there are other ones on the network, you do that. And then when we would say that she's suicidal, we would get told that we were picking on her, And if you know my kids, they're mixed. We even got told we were being racist at one point. And I was like, excuse me? Like, I don't see color. And we have a little girl next door who came up and she was, this is my favorite. Sorry.

She came up and she goes, so your daughter is dark. And you're so she was more offended to call me pasty white than she was to ask why my daughter was dark skin and I was not. And I said, well, I'm not her biological mom. I'm her biological aunt, but I'm her mom now. And she goes, oh, okay. And be baffed away. Like, I was like, it's that simple to explain the difference between us. But like, when someone called me racist, I was like, oh, wow, that was because I was trying to speak up for my child's mental health. I got called racist for speaking up for her mental health. And I was just flabbergasted. by that that I was like, okay, so now I see the obstacles that I am trying to hurdle over.

I can only imagine what my daughter's hurtling now. It's probably 10 times worse when she's going into appointments and, you know, feeling like she's hitting a wall as well where I'm sitting in the waiting room feeling like I'm hitting a wall with these therapists that didn't work out for us. But these are what the state we're saying, you have to try these ones, because this is the only people that we're going to cover in our network. and had I, we tried to fight for adoption, which the state fought us on doing that as well. And had we been able to do that, I would have been able to put her on private insurance and been able to probably get her with and keep her with her therapist.

And had the state had listened to us and taken in the mental health hospital that we took her to. and the therapist taken us seriously when we said that she was suicidal, I believe my daughter would still be here today. So, again, roadblocks, obstacles. If you could design the ideal protocol that the state or therapists or anyone involved with mental health issues to do, What would that look like? I think for kids, I think, honestly, when it comes down to mental health, I think if a child finds a therapist that they're able to relate with and communicate and work with, pay. The insurance should pay for it.

Like, don't be, my feeling with the state stuff, is that they get paid per kid that stays in the system. They don't get paid per kid that moves on and makes a better life for themselves. They get paid for the ones that stay in the system and generationally keep having kids that stay in the system. That's how the state gets paid. They don't get paid for kids that are being getting well. And that and that was always my what we learned through this whole process, my in-laws festered over 52 kids through their home. They saw the same thing. It was very disheartening when we learned that, that if they start to see you doing better,

it's like they pull you out of that and they yank you back. And we learned that with our daughter, with the full ledge. Every place we took her to, we would start to get better. and we would get kicked out of there, like not kicked out necessarily, but the insurance would no longer cover that therapist. It seemed like when we were making progression, it would always happen. And then went for a child like her, that's another loss. And if you pile on all those losses, you know, losing your bio parents, moving house to house to house, different foster homes, stuff like that, those are all losses to the kids. And those are all foundational

breaks in a child that every time you put a crack in that foundation, you're causing long-term damage to their mental health. Oh, my goodness gracious. So you're making my mind spin here because there's so many different questions about, you know, like obviously you can look at the entire system and it's very obvious that it's, it's, it's, and it's not designed, like you said, it's not designed to help people graduate into a healthy life so that it breaks that generational thing that you mentioned. So the, you live in Nebraska and obviously your children were going to the public schools and then you have police officers and different people in the area.

So what should every school have in place as a safety net? Like, for example, you mentioned that a teacher actually recognized that there was the cutting happening that you were not aware of. So obviously she did the right thing and told you so that you would be able to. to move that forward. What do you think a safety net should be in a school setting? I think we have to normalize having therapy in school. One of the schools that we had her at, she was able to do therapy in school.

And I honestly think that when you have therapy in school for kids who are at a high school, higher risk for suicide or have come from very different backgrounds that cause them to be a higher risk for mental health issues. I feel like a class, like if they're doing individual service or therapy in school, that that should be kind of a credit for them is because they are working on their well-being and their mental health. And for some of those people, for some of those kids, that is, that is a lot of work. That is like, you know, maybe. doing an algebra class or taking an AP class or something. People don't understand what it is when

you have a kid that has mental health. You're not only dealing with things that are going on in their head, but you're also trying to get them back to the things that they love. Basic showering skills sometimes disappear, like hygiene skills in general will disappear. You'll start to see them wear like frumpy clothes, oversized clothes, opposite sex clothes, all of those are cries out that they are begging for help. And if you can get them to admit that they're having issues and they work through it, why not reward them with that being one of their classes that they're taking care of themselves? Or even having someone, I know that most of the counselors that are in the school don't have a mental health background. So these counselors that they're working with that are either

helping them pick out classes and stuff and they're considered the counselor in the school where there should be able to go if they're having problems don't have a mental health background at all. Some do, some don't. I know the ones at our school, only our elementary teacher or elementary school has one that does, but our high school does not. And so the high school counselor didn't know how to handle her. Nor did the school nurse know how to handle her either. You have to have somebody who understands mental health. I think in the school system to be able to help with a crisis. Like sometimes my daughter would sit underneath her desk and I would get a phone call saying she's sitting underneath her desk and I said, you should leave her right where she is and don't

touch her. And they're like, well, she needs to be sitting in her desk. I said, no, that's where she feels comfortable. Something in that classroom makes her feel unsafe. And by being underneath the desk, she feels safe. So, but the fact that teachers didn't know that or we had shared that stuff with the school nurse net, that that wasn't being relayed on to other people to be able to understand why she was doing what she was doing. Instead, she just got deemed as not following the rules, is not listening to the teacher and she would get in trouble. And I'm like, no, actually, at the beginning of school, we warned you guys of this stuff. So I think we shun mental health as you're a problem versus normalizing it and helping kids understand that there's not a problem with them,

that some of this stuff can be chemical imbalance. I grew up with a brother who had quite a bit of mental health problems when we were. We were in elementary, and it was finding the right medication to balance that out for him to be able to regulate those motions and those thoughts and stuff in his head. But it takes time because I can tell you I probably went through 10 different medications for our daughter to try to balance off the things that were going on with her. And it always changes because when you have kids going through puberty, as we all know, their emotions are like this as it is on puberty, well, you are also changing doses of prescriptions

as well throughout the whole process. And I think on one of the medications, we probably changed the dose five times within a year. So it's a trial and error thing, but if you don't have a whole team of people supporting you, well, and they're calling her troublemaker or saying she's doing this and that. And it's like, no, you don't understand. what's really going on, even though we explained it. It was almost like I had to get all of her teachers in one room and say, hey, this is what's going on. But we didn't really want to like get into detail with everybody.

We just needed them to know a general information. And if this happens, please get this person because they'll be able to help her. Well, you have to have that person in a school setting. And I would love to see a mental health therapist in the school settings for these kids that are struggling. Because it's not, you can have someone who has mental health because they have chemical imbalances. And you can have somebody who is a kid who has a disease that knows that's going to kill him eventually or her eventually. And that can cause mental health issues as well. So you have to be able to have somebody who knows how to juggle all of that.

for these kids. Well, I know in our local elementary school, we have a school resource officer who's like, I guess, the school police officer. And his, what I thought is interesting when you call the school, the first name on the list for one is the resource officer, which I thought was kind of an odd placement

for, you know, the school police officer. I had a question. And your daughter ended up having a concussion. What do you think that contributed to her issues? Did you notice anything after that happened? Yeah. So the first about month or so, we had a glimpse of our child prior to all of the things that she,

like it was a glimpse backwards at first. We had this child who loved herself again, was very happy with herself, back to drawing again, getting dressed, taking care of herself. While fighting the obstacles of a concussion, and when I say a concussion, she hit her head so hard that she was cross-eyed

and seeing everything upside down and backwards. That's how severe her concussion was. She missed an entire month of school because she couldn't see to walk and stuff. And it was weird that we got this glimpse backwards to the child I always knew was there. And then about maybe a month, two months after, as her brain is starting to heal from the concussion, did we really start to see the suicide attempts ramp up? and they wanted to dismiss that they were, you know, the concussion was with this. And we kept getting like, like she's just being a teenager.

She's just trying to act out. And I was like, no, I firmly believe that this is something from the concussion. And the first hospital that we had went to didn't do enough testing to let us know. all they did was like an MRI and said, there's no brain, Billy, she has a concussion, go home, relax, let her sleep. Basically is what happened. And then they didn't even take off the sunglasses. She was wearing to see that she was cross-eyed, nothing like that.

Then we went to Children's Hospital, which I wish I would have went there first, and met with a concussion clinic that this doctor only specializes in concussions. We started getting answers. We started getting like she needs to go to vision therapy. Emily did three years of vision therapy with this 15 different glasses to bring her eyes back to normal. She had one that would still sling in everyone when she was tired or exhausted. That's how we knew it would sling in. But with this doctor, we were able to start getting answers and being told that, yes, this stuff can be effects from the concussion. And I was,

like, okay, finally, we met somebody that was great. Then we get introduced to this other lady who thinks that eventually our daughter would have been diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar. Most of that doesn't show up in a woman until in their 20s, and they can't really be tested until in their 20s. Well, the concussion, what we were told, pushed all that forward. So sometimes when you have mental health things that are there, but because you can't test until a certain age to know whether they're either bipolar schizophrenia because some of those testsings you have to wait until later in life to figure that out. A concussion can bring all that forward. It can move everything tremendously forward. And that's what we got told was

they believed. So the doctor moved us on to another doctor who was going to do this testing. And in the midst of that, the state came in and stopped it, preventing her from being able to get on the medication she needed. And in that process, like, had she been able to get on the right medication, it would have probably balanced out the suicidal thoughts that she had, the wanting to harm herself, all of that that in this doctor that we saw was like, absolutely, all the things that she's going through, she's like, I think I already know, but I need to test her because the insurances I have to test her. So you do one testing one time and then you come back in a month or so and you do another testing.

So we did the one and then we went to go to the other one, we got halted. And it was it was so frustrating because I felt like we finally had someone who was listening to us and someone who was going to get us to the direction we needed to get. And I believe that my daughter's death was absolutely preventable. It just, I don't even have any words for how, you know, you find the help you need. You're on the right path. You're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. And then the powers that be just said, no, we're not going to let this person become healthy again because of whatever the reasons are.

But I wanted to ask you, this is still a fairly new, it's only been about a year or a little more than a year since that happened that you lost your daughter to suicide. And now, even though it's only been a year, you've done a lot of proactive things to help it other people, other parents, other, you know, people. who just love their children and their families to help them. And you've created a care kit. Can you tell me about that? So yeah, the care kit's still in work and progress with the two place department. So it hasn't rolled officially out. Some of the stuff is being used, but we just don't have the care package together. And there's two items that we're still trying to figure out. We're trying to work with companies that will help us. So one of them is, locks for cabinets. So my ideal lock, it's got to be something that we can, you know,

give to the parents and it's easily to put on that they're not drilling in their cabinets, stuff like that to lock up medications. Most common ways that kids take their life is usually like you're over-the-counter medicine. And they'll take an excessive amount of them to take to off their life, essentially. locking up medications, including Tylenol, that can be very dangerous to children. We also are looking for Sharp's containers where we're trying to work with a company that will help get them at a little bit more affordable cost so that we can give these two families for free. And so the Sharps containers are for objects.

with having a child who cut herself, she would take apart her razor. And so I had to give her her razor when she would shower. Then I had to take it back and make sure all the blades were there. So being able to dispose of things that are sharp that you don't want your kids to harm themselves with. Honestly, I believe most homes should, I think every home should have a sharps container or some sort. Because, you know, you have razors, you have tools. that you use that are sharp that once they become not great to use anymore, you should be able to have a place to dispose of them instead of kind of thrown them in the trash as well. But so those will be

there. We also have, I've worked with several mental health therapists in the area, kind of asking what they see with kids that they work with and what they would like to see as preventable, like packaging for parents. And so I've gotten several really awesome, um, like how to reduce stress with kids in different age groups. So the packets will have for all age groups because we don't know when a police officer rolls out what age they're going to get. So the care package will have ranging from three years old to 20 years old of how to handle stress. What to do if they're saying depressive thoughts, mental health therapists in the area to try. We also have the suicide hotline number on there and the suicide hotline.

And I have teamed up. They've given me lots of information, pamphlets, stickers for kids to be able to put on their water bottles. And some of them say, you matter. We care about you. You are loved. Things to remind these kids that they are worth keeping here. And all of this care package is going to go in like a reusable bag. and the officer is going to go and give it to whatever when they go out for a call.

And if they deem it as a child who is struggling and the parents need this package, it's more geared for the parents, but has some little things in there for the kids to let them know. And this is to help guide parents to be able to protect their child and help them teach their child to be an advocate for when something's wrong. because most of the time when something's wrong, what do kids do? They don't come to you and say something's wrong. They either, when they're younger, they throw a tantrum.

When they're older, they disconnect from things, whether it be the stuff they love or they disconnect from the people they love. You're right, because I think about, I have little grandchildren. They're three and four. And their go-to, of course, is to throw a tantrum when something isn't right. or they'll say something that is totally like, you don't love me and it's like, what? Yeah, because of course you love them more than anything,

you know, that can exist. So your, the care kits are something that you're doing. Are you, are you, so you're talking with the different police officers. Do you have any parents or families who feel comfortable talking to you? Do you do any type of that type of work or a group? I mentor. In the state of Nebraska, it's called teammates. I highly recommend everybody that if you have 30 minutes once a week to be able to give to a child.

So I meet 30 minutes once a week with a child and sometimes we play games. Our love together is we both love to cook. So we will always bake recipes and bring them to each other to try. We'll talk about things that we've made during the week. New recipes will trade off recipes together. She really likes to kick my butt in card games because I'm not good at card games at all. also I can always tell when she's been defeated because we play a card game so she can beat me and gloat. And then I know exactly how her day has gone.

And then there's times that we just go and walk and talk because I can tell that sitting isn't going to be what she can do at the moment. And I've had my kid since third grade and now we're a sophomore in high school. So I only got two more years and then we're done. and I will pick up another kid to mentor. And ironically, we got our daughter into this program first. And then she came home probably a month into her mentoring or being mentored, begging my husband and I to join the program. And I was like, I don't know if I have time, you know,

and honestly dealing with a kid that has mental health, like you as a parent feel exhausted all the time. And honestly, it was the best. thing that she pushed me to do because I love what I did. It actually lit a fire in me, even though I was exhausted most days. I was always so excited to go meet with my person for 30 minutes in the week. I would look forward to it. I couldn't wait to get to that day to do it. So I was like, if this is how I feel, I can't imagine how she feels. And I can't imagine how my daughter feels now. I'm like, wow.

And so we became mentors and it is just, it's a light. And then I've also gotten a lot of friends to get into the program. It's just amazing the effects that it has on a kid and you're only giving them 30 minutes once a week. You are the positive, you're just another positive person in their life for them. 30 minutes can change someone's life. I think that that's a huge message because, like you said, so many people are like, I don't have time, I don't have time. But most people could find 30 minutes to carve out that could make a huge difference.

So I wanted to ask you this question because I think it's really important. How can families normalize talking about? mental health and maybe not just families, but how can everyone normalize mental health and get rid of the stigma so that people can get the help they need? So that's a good question. I toy with that a lot myself. I think that the best way to normalize it is quit telling them that they have a problem or something's wrong with them when they express like when our daughter expressed that she wanted to

kill herself and i instead of saying stop thinking like that and yelling and scolding her i said well why why don't you think you should stay here and her answer was simple she thought she wasn't love sometimes it just can the answer can be so simple for them like when i go back to the young girl who didn't understand my daughter's skin tone and her and are two different skin tones. And I simply just said she had a different mommy and that made sense and she was on her way. Sometimes it can be just that simple with a kid and sometimes it can be where it leads to open up more doors. And for us, it led to open up more doors. She thought she wasn't loved because the things that had happened in her childhood to her. And how could God let that happen to her? Because

my family, my husband and I are very religious people and we very much believe in God. And in her brain, why would God allow that to happen to her? She didn't think she was loved enough. And that something was wrong with her that these things happened to her. She didn't understand that somebody did those and took advantage of a very innocent child versus, so you have to slowly walk them through the steps, but instead of criticizing them on things, like when she would wear big, frumpy clothes, it drove me absolutely insane. Or when she, I say, we're going out for dinner and we're all dressed up nice and she runs upstairs and puts pajama pants on. I would get so furious. And somebody once said to me, like, why? Why do you get furious over pajama pants?

She's got clothes on. She's going to go to dinner with you guys. That should be enough. And I was like, you're absolutely right. So instead of throwing like a fit and yelling at her and telling her to change your clothes, I'd be like, like your outfit. Looks comfy. I wish I could dress that way. Hey, let's get in the car and let's go out for dinner. Or hey, let's go shopping.

And I started supporting those when she would do that stuff. And then I would start to see her change. She would run upstairs and change her clothes when she knew she was going on a date with mom. One of the other big things that I also believe you should do with your kids. is no matter how many kids you have, you're going to have to figure out the time frame that you do it. But we call it dating our kids. So my husband and I would take turns taking the kid individually, either to lunch or shopping or whatever, even if it was just simply going grocery shopping, you're only taking that one kit. So you have the one-on-one time with them.

Because when you have multiple kids, it's so hard to find one-on-one time with kids. We started dating our children, as we called it. And that's when we started learning. more about things that had happened to our daughter because honestly it's a car ride to wherever you're going. It's like, I don't know what it is. It's a word vomit that happens. And my daughter would just explode. It didn't matter whether it was me or my husband. She would word vomit to us. And then my husband and I, we get together and communicate with each other about it and figure out how are we going to help her? So you're going to pull them separately. She'll tell me certain things and tell him certain things, but then when we put them together, we can see the whole

picture. And so that is key to don't discredit them. Don't make them feel any worse than they already feel because as anyone ever has said, we're our own worst critics. Imagine a teenager with hormones. They're 10 times worse on themselves than anyone else can be to them. So don't be that person that's dragging them down. Be the person that lifts them up, even in their pajamas pants. Always joked because she would wear her pajama pants. lot. So it was like, even in your badama pants, you're still awesome. And so we would make little jokes and go back and forth, be lighthearted. The other thing that we would always do with our kids, they have these little foam, squishy ball things. We would turn off all the lights so you can't

target somebody, but we would run around the house shooting them. And you would hear something, somebody getting hit. But you couldn't target somebody, but it relieved stress. So find things that you can do as a family that release stress for you as a family as a whole. Because those moments are the best. Because ironically, when we did that when I heard I ended up underneath the table together, we were just at opposite ends of our dining room table. And once we realized that, we started unloading on each other, shooting each other. But it was just the stress. And then we're cracking up laughing. and then everyone's feeling good again. But you find these moments that you can help them relieve stress because being a teenager

in today's society, you're looking at all the TikToks, the Instagrams, Facebook, whatever, they have these kids believing that there's a certain lifestyle that they have to live. And if they don't live it, they're not worth anything. And so you have to teach them that that stuff isn't real. Those are 10 minutes of a set up glamour that probably, probably took them an hour to get that glamorous look for the 10 minutes of fame on social media. I really like all those suggestions that you give for having fun and talking with them and

paying that attention, that one-on-one. And then, of course, like you said, she would tell your husband something, tell you something, then you get together and you can get the whole story. and I think that's very useful. So I wanted to just close out with a question. Obviously, your daughter, even though she was only here for a very short time, she really left a legacy. And if you were to name that legacy, what would you call it? I don't know.

That's one question I'm still trying to figure out, we do a cookie drive in honor of her that her and I did a long time ago back when she was little little, I started it to teach her that police officers and them are people doing their job. They're not bad people. And then her and I grew it into a beautiful program through the teammates. And then we also have a clothing drive that stemmed from my daughter, noticing a couple kids at school wearing the same clothes that she went in her closet and emptied it out because she knew she emptied out her closet and gave it away that mom would have to take her thrifting

again. So I got what she was doing after she was doing it. She really just wanted it to go shopping, but it was the random acts of kindness that my daughter always did that she didn't do it for the glam or the glitz. She did it because it was the right thing to do. And And she loved helping other people. She loved service work. I mean, we worked endless food banks together. And at first, she was so nervous to do them. But then she just fell right into it and just was a natural at it. I would like to believe that I kind of rubbed off from me from all the volunteer work that I love doing. And I do it just because it's the right thing to do. And I think that's where her clothing drive and then her pushing to make this cookie drive a bigger thing, which now I'm even more eager to push and make it bigger since she's passed. So the things that she loved to do and saw here while she was here, I'm now trying to grow those into these beautiful projects that she started. I'm trying to make them bigger for her. She was just such a beautiful soul. Thank you so much, Jim. I really

appreciate you sharing in everyone. You can read Jennifer Jen Jorgensen's story in Alpha Queens Rising. And if you need information about suicide or if that's something that you're thinking about, there is help available. And you can dial 988 across the United States. And that is the suicide hotline. So again, I think, Jen, you said it. You said you are loved. And I'd like to leave everyone with that. You are loved.

Thank you so much, Jen. Thank you. You've been listening to Women Innovators with Tammy Patzer. To learn more, please go to Womeninnovators Radio.com. And please do subscribe and share to spread the big news. messages and big missions to change the world.