Business Innovators Radio - Catherine Cabrera of Inner Strength Counseling on Empowering Women to Find Personal Freedom

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

In this episode, Luana Ribeira interviews the founder of Inner Strength Counseling, Catherine CabreraCatherine is the owner, founder, and mental health therapist of Inner Strength Counseling, LLC, and newly renowned international bestselling author of My Mess is My Message II. She is committed to supporting people living with anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and other mental health challenges. Inspired by her lived experience with anxiety and toxic relationships, Catherine strives to help her clients heal and find joy and prosperity through curiosity and compassion. She spent many years researching how various experiences impact the brain and the interconnection between thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns. After rediscovering her true identity and finishing her graduate degree in Mental Health Counseling, Catherine set out to help others heal and discover their inner strength. Combining psychology, research, and lived experience, Catherine facilitates her one-on-one sessions with the intention of learning about her clients – their experiences, hobbies, support systems, etc. – to tailor the therapeutic space to build on their strengths and interests, helping ensure the long-term success of her clients. Catherine utilizes curiosity, compassion, and a healthy dose of humor to help her clients learn more about themselves and build a healthy relationship with themselves and their emotions, highlighting their individual strengths to build confidence along the way. Learn more about Catherine here:[e-mail]://www.instagram.com/Catherinecabrera.iscSource: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/catherine-cabrera-of-inner-strength-counseling-on-empowering-women-to-find-personal-freedom

Welcome to Business Innovators Radio, featuring industry influencers and trendsetters, sharing proven strategies to help you build a better life right now. And welcome to Business Innovators Radio. With me today, I have Catherine Cabrera, author and coach who helps women with anxiety to find their personal sense of freedom. Hi, Catherine, so awesome to have you on. Hi, hi, thank you for having me. So tell me, I love the name of your practice, inner strength. What does that mean to you? How did the name come about? Sure, it has a couple meanings to me, actually. Very early on in my life, I discovered the value of physical health and strength in that way,

but in going through a lot of very traumatic and less than ideal situations in my life, emotionally, it really solidified the value of having that internal strength, you know, being able to be resilient and follow your dreams and stay true to yourself no matter what people will throw at you because we are going to face a lot of very difficult situations in our lives. And it can be very easy to fall into doing what other people want you to do, being who you feel they want you to be. And in doing that, you actually lose yourself. And I have a lot of personal experience with that. When I started my business, I had reached a point where it was probably my rock bottom. If not, it was very close. And I came out of a narcissistic, abusive relationship. I was not happy at my job.

and I felt like everything that I had wanted for myself just shattered in front of me and was sitting on the floor. And so I got to a point where I said, I don't want to live like this anymore. You know, I was tired of laying in bed all day just with a puppy face from crying my eyes out. You know, I didn't want to live that way anymore. and it took a lot of mental and emotional strength to do that because at the same time I was still providing therapy for people. I was still working and I don't know how I did it, but I showed up and supported them in the way that I really needed it for myself. And so I said, why not just go for it? you know, be able to be your own boss. That sounds awesome for one. But two, getting to create something

that fits what I want to put out into the world. And I want to help people find that inner strength because I do think that everybody has it. Just sometimes we lose track of it. You know, it's like our keys. We can't find it sometimes. And so helping them figure out how to bring it out, and how to thrive with it. And so that's really where inner strength started. So you're in a narcissistic relationship. And like you just said, you were, you know, really at rock bottom after that. How did you, what did you do in the beginning?

What was the thing? What was the thing that made the penny drop for you about what you needed to do? I would say I wish that it was something that I had done initially that created the snowball effect, but I'll be honest, it was something that my ex did. He had used every bit of knowledge and personal experience that I shared with him and used it against me. and I've unfortunately experienced that so many times in my life that to some extent it didn't surprise me, but it was more surprising that it came from him. And so he took all of the dreams that I had, all of the aspirations that I had, all of the joy for life,

and it was like he just put it on the floor and stomped his foot on it over and over again. and it was that breaking point that I said, I need to show up for me because the people that I've trusted, at least in that regard, have used it against me and have tried to take it away for me, and I'm not willing to tolerate that anymore. So I don't think it was necessarily anything that I did. it was more something clicked and I didn't I wasn't willing to tolerate it anymore. I wasn't going to let anybody else dictate what I do or how I do it. And I felt like in the business side of things, making my own practice was the perfect way to do that. And in the personal side of things,

I really spent a lot of time with myself and reflecting on who the heck am I, you know, because I didn't know. The relationship was my whole identity at that point. And so when that was taken away, I said, what am I left with? You know, I looked in the mirror and I didn't recognize her at all. So I had to build myself up while I was building the practice. And I think it helped me really figure out who I wanted to be. I said, okay, I have this vision of who runs this practice. How does she do it? What does she value? And so how can I bridge that gap? How can I get there and incorporated that into how I went about my daily life business or not? So, yeah, I don't think there was one thing specifically, but just an accumulation of things. I'm so happy that you did manage to find yourself

and that you did do all of this because you're changing lives every single day. So tell us about the women you work with. Absolutely. Yeah. So initially I actually started working with women who are living with eating disorders. And again, I've had personal experience with one. So I felt like I was able to really meet them where they're at and say, okay, like I understand where you're coming from, but I'm also here for you and want what's best for you.

So in doing that, it helped me realize, well, what else comes with that? You know, typically there's anxiety. There's this layer of, I want other people to perceive me a certain way. So what do I do about it? And in the case of eating disorders, it's more the physical appearance. You know, how do I look compared to societal expectations or beauty standards, you know, whatever. But I said, okay, bigger picture, there's a whole group of people who have this anxiety and use different methods to become somebody else in the name of being liked or valued. What does that do to a person? you know, and it's like you really feel like you, as the authentic version of you, is not enough to be liked or to be valued.

And what do we do to quote unquote fix that? You know, do we change our behaviors? Do we dress a certain way? Do we just please people, you know, because we don't like it when somebody's disappointed, you know, those sorts of things. And so I found that's where my heart was drawn to. It was this group of people that, you know, they just feel so desperate to be valued and liked. Especially with women, because we're conditioned all our lives to be useful to everybody else, to say yes, to be agreeable to not moan or wind, you know, to not not stand up for ourselves, really. Yeah, and that's what I was seeing. You know, it was almost like same conversation with every woman that walked into my office. You know, it was like, okay, we have different contexts.

We have different puzzle pieces, but the big picture is the same. You know, you feel like you have to change something about you. And the anxiety comes from knowing that that's not in line with who you actually are. Oh, yeah. You know, your body is telling you that something is wrong because that being, you. Absolutely yes. Yeah. So what happens when they've worked with you? What kind of results do they see? What does their life look like afterwards? Sure. So initially, I've had a couple clients tell me this with a loving tone that they don't like me sometimes because I will call

them out on everything. That's what you need to do, isn't it? Right. Right. I'm like, it's definitely tough love. It's not me trying to be mean. It's just I'm telling you what you need to hear. You need to see what you're doing. And so in the process of doing that, there's a lot of tears. There's a lot of humor thrown into it because I do think there's a therapeutic benefit to having humor involved. And over time, they start to really see like, okay, now I can notice when my personality is

shifting because I want someone to perceive me a certain way. I can see that I'm letting a boundary slip because of the conflict that might happen if I maintain the boundary. Or people pleasing is the big one. You know, it's that idea of I feel the need to be useful. And sometimes we have to say no. I mean, we don't have the time or the energy throughout the day to do everything for everybody. So you have to draw the line somewhere. And so they start to really notice those things and the amount of pride that I see radiating from them when they're telling me this is really why I do it. They're like, oh, I never realized how often I do this. I said, yeah, this has become everything. And so again, it.

it does take a lot of hard work. It does take difficult conversations, but they're able to get to that point where they can be as genuine and authentic as possible, and they don't feel bad about it. You're like that this is who I am. If you don't like it, you can go elsewhere. It doesn't matter where, but I want to be who I am. I'm not going to sacrifice my values or my belief systems for the sake of one person or one group of people having a fake positive opinion because that's not real. It's them putting on this facade that the end of the day, we kind of take it off eventually. Or else we're just a shell at that point. Yeah, completely.

And you wrote a book as well. I did. Yeah. So I contributed to My Mess Is My Message Volume 2, which is basically a compilation of different women's stories of overcoming adversity and challenges in their lives to really turning things around for themselves, you know, them making a decision or following their heart to build a better life for themselves and their families. And when the idea was brought up to me, it was in a media, yes. I was like, I want to be a part of this. This is something that was really true to me and my experience. And I just love being a part of a project like that. I think so many people, men and women, but in this case, women writing these stories and being vulnerable in that way is such a beautiful thing because it's not talked about a lot of times. You know, how do we do this? But we can do that. And so, yeah, it's basically taking something really crappy and making it something so much better for yourself.

Amazing, amazing. Well, Catherine, it's been absolutely brilliant talking to you today. Where can people find you? Absolutely. I'm primarily on Instagram, Inner Strength Counseling. I'm also on Facebook. I think it's under the same name. So it should be pretty easy to find.

And yeah, you know, I post tips. I post actually blogs on my website that I'll share on social media, you know, all centered around finding yourself and befriending anxiety, you know, trying to learn from it and understand what it's actually trying to tell you because it's not always clear what the actual message is. Yeah, that's the thing, isn't it? It's there to keep us safe. It's not something that we can just get rid of, is it? Absolutely. But we try so hard to get rid of it because it's uncomfortable and we don't like that it's there.

But we can learn from it, then we can actually learn how to listen to it and understand where it's coming from. I really, really love that. So much more effective than, you know, when people tell you to just block things out. because it's always going to be there then, isn't it? Absolutely. And we're always going to be afraid of it. Yeah, totally. Great point. Catherine, I could talk to you all day.

Thank you for coming on. You've been absolutely brilliant. We'll include those links at the bottom. So listeners, go and check out those links. And I'll see you next time. Valerie, bye. Thanks for listening to Business Innovators Radio. hear all episodes featuring leading industry influencers and trendsetters, visit us online at

business innovators radio.com today.