Business Innovators Radio - Dave Holder Empowering Families to Make Informed Decisions About Senior Living

Episode Date: April 19, 2024

In this episode, Nina Hershberger talks with Dave Holder, an expert in helping families find the right senior living community for their loved ones. Dave shares his personal journey that led him to this industry and the insights he’s gained along the way.Dave Holder is the owner of Assisted Living Locators in Indiana. After experiencing the challenges of finding the right community for his father-in-law, Dave decided to transition from a career in horticulture and landscaping to becoming a senior living advisor. He now uses his firsthand knowledge and expertise to guide families through the often overwhelming process of navigating senior living options.During the interview, Dave breaks down the different levels of senior living, from independent living to assisted living and memory care. He explains how these communities are focused on creating a warm, supportive environment rather than the clinical “facilities” of the past. Dave also discusses the importance of being proactive in researching options, as well as the key questions to ask when evaluating a community.This episode is a must-listen for anyone with aging loved ones or who is considering their own future senior living needs. Dave’s insights can help alleviate the stress and uncertainty of this transition, ensuring families make the best decision the first time. Whether you’re just starting to explore options or are in the thick of the decision-making process, Dave’s guidance can make a significant difference.To further support listeners, Dave has written a book titled “What Every Person Should Know About Senior Living Options.” This resource provides a comprehensive overview of senior living choices and can serve as a valuable reference guide. Listeners can connect with Dave by email at [e-mail] to obtain a copy of the book and learn more about his services, which are provided at no cost to families.MegaBucks Radio with Nina Hershbergerhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/megabucks-radio-with-nina-hershbergerSource: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/dave-holder-empowering-families-to-make-informed-decisions-about-senior-living

Welcome to Megabox Radio. Conversations with successful entrepreneurs, sharing their tips and strategies for success, real-world ideas that can put Megabox in your bank account. Here's your host, Nina Hirshberger. Well, welcome to today's show. This is your host, Nina Hirshberger. And today I have on the show somebody just a little different. Dave Holder helps families who are looking to move. their loved ones into some sort of a community.

They're in their senior years, and he helps navigate all of those minefields. I mean, I've got a personal experience on how difficult that process can be. So welcome, Dave, to today's show. Oh, thank you so much, Nina, for having me. It's great to be here. So let's go back in time. Explain the migration.

I mean, I used to call it facilities, and you've corrected me and said, I used to be calling them communities. Yeah, don't use the F word. Yeah, and why is that? What's changed in that whole world? I think a community, I think that's what they're trying to create in senior living. They're trying to create a community environment, and so it hits on all levels. So whether you need the care and support that's there for you,

the socialization, maybe there's a faith-based aspect to it, or there's activities. So it's with your cohorts, people of your age, and nobody wants to live in a facility because that sounds very clinical and very cold, but a community is warm. It has that fellowship, and it has that support so people can age in place. Well, I know this is kind of personal to you. I mean, you got into the business of assisting and helping families with, that process because of something you went through. Why don't you tell the listeners what your background is?

Yeah, so my background is, was, I guess it still is, horticulture and landscaping. I thought I would probably be doing that the rest of my life. I loved it. But I was looking to make a change. And around that same time, about six months before, my father-in-law had a diagnosis of dimension, and he was doing quite well in the home for the most part. But like most families, we really didn't take that proactive mindset and think, okay, what are we going to do if we're no longer able to care for him? And suddenly that day came and it was a mad scramble when we realized, uh-oh, my mother-in-law can't do this.

We probably need to look at communities. And all those layers that go with that, what questions to ask, where do we go to, how do we pay for this? All of that was right in front of us and did the best we could. made a decision and moved him into a community. And about three months later, we found out he is declining. Why is he declining? We've got some questions about the care. Maybe this wasn't the best place.

And we started to look for another option for him. And you can imagine being as gun-shy making the wrong decision, how stressful that was. But we got him moved into a second community, and he started to do well. And after that second move, I had met somebody that, you know, was a franchise. broker and was telling me how smart I was and I could run my own business. So I thought, okay, well, I'll entertain this for a while. And after about a month, I just said, Jeff, you know, this is all cool and for different reasons. But this is not, it's not, I don't want to clean carpets or I don't want to go to restaurants and get grease out of traps and things like that.

And out of the blue, I'm so thankful for this. He said, Dave, have you ever thought about helping people with senior living? And I was like, wait, what does that mean? And he's, He says, well, you get to learn the communities, what the different levels of care are, and then you help families at no cost navigate those options so they can make the best decision the first time. And I was flabbergasted, and I, of course, just told him everything we had just gone through. And he said, you know, you could be that guy for families to help save him the stress and not have to go through this.

So I lit up and did my due diligence. And in June of 2018, I left crabgrass and mulching behind and opened the sister living locators here, the first one in Indiana. You know, I mean, I've got a personal experience because you're absolutely right. We had my mom in one facility, sorry, one community, and had to move her to a second one. And here's what I say, people don't know what they don't know. And rather than waiting until, you know, you're under the gun and you've got to do something, it's so useful to at least get educated to a certain extent, wouldn't you say?

Oh, my God, yes. You know, I think that one of the things that people don't realize when they're going through this, those emotions that you're going to feel about making this move are going to really be, a lot. You know, not only do you have a loved one that may be declining or it's that, you know, new chapter in your life where we're all aging and but so you're going to have that, you know, the sentimental, the, the, the, um, want to, to help someone and you, it's just, it's just going to feel like a lot. And to, to go through that wall, you have to make this decision quickly is overwhelming because you're going to be learning new terms, you know, whether it's a skilled

nursing facility or it's assisted living or what's the difference between independent and what's memory care, you're going to be thrown out a lot of information and to have all those emotions that you're trying to juggle with and straighten out as you move forward with the best possible options. If you can do that without having to make this decision quickly, you can understand things a lot better. You can ask better questions. You can really come up with the best strategy to do that. So, yeah, it's never too soon to start this process. Okay, you just threw out some terms, you know, let's start from the beginning.

So if somebody is moving to a community and they still are, you know, they can still take care of themselves. They still can, you know, do their own medication or whatever, whatever. Where does this start and go through all of this different levels of care? Okay, great. Yeah. So, and I'll just make a note, too. I deal with everything that I work in is strictly residential,

assistant or residential senior living. So we're not talking nursing homes of 30 years ago or even nursing homes of now. That's a different thing. So we're going to talk about the residential side of assisted living. I'm sorry, night I'm going to cough. Can you edit that? I'm sorry. Yeah, that's fine.

Before you go on, I guess I didn't realize there was a difference between residential and you wouldn't say commercial. What are you, so when you say nursing home. That would be, yeah, continuing care communities. That's kind of the difference. And I can explain that when I give you the differences from that regard for sure. Okay. Let's start with independent. I think that's where it does start.

Yeah, so independent living. I would consider that much more like retirement living. That's where everything, you know, it's going to be maintenance-free living. It's going to be unlicensed, meaning in the sense that there's not going to be nursing services available or any assistance provided by the community. So you might have maybe meal credits that could go towards the dining room. You're going to have activities that are going to be within that community, and that could be happy hours to live music,

so may they go and go to Newfields or they go up to the palladium and caramel, those activities are going to be provided by the community. But you're going to be able to live maintenance-free. You don't have to worry about lawn or snow removal. Your utilities are going to be included. All your appliances are going to be included. And this can come in the form of like a garden home,

like a standalone-type cottage, or you can have an apartment from that regard. So that's going to be independent living, no support services. Assisted living is going to be everybody. Wait a minute. Before you go on, because I think one of the differences is also is they would actually have the ability to have meals should they choose to. So in other words, you're not having a home. You know, I mean, we live in a 55 and older community.

I mean, we don't have a restaurant. I mean, we go to restaurants, but we don't have it as part of our community. And independent would, right? Yes, independent living might, depending on where you are in the community, a lot of times, sometimes they'll give you a $250 or a $400 meal credit. Or if you're in a villa, they might give you one meal per day in the main dining room that you could take advantage of from that regard. But independent living is going to have stove, microwave,

you know, so you can cook your own meals, things like that. Okay. All right. So that's step number one. Then we go into assisted living. Assisted living, exactly. So that is going to be, what I'll say to that is, everybody thinks if I move to assisted living, I lose all of my independence.

And really, it's the opposite that's true. Assisted living has a little bit more supportive services or can provide assistance where you need it to keep you independent longer. But the difference is going to be assisted living is going to be licensed, and it's going to have support services where there might be access to a nurse 24-7 or CNAs to help with bathing, dressing, toileting, nurses that can dispense medication for you. So it just takes all of that off your plate. Same thing. It's very much maintenance-free living. You can still drive an assisted living if you want, but it's going to include more services like three meals a day are going to be included.

in part of your rent. Weekly housekeeping will be included as part of that. And then as you age in place, you can add those support services to help you stay independent longer. Yeah, and that's what I've learned. You know, you start at a basic. You might not need very many of those services, but then as you do, you just add, you know, and of course the price goes up a little bit, but you only have to use the services

you need. Exactly. And so, yeah, there's, I know there's a community here that I tour a lot. They have a couple residents that still work in their assisted living, and they go work 20 hours a week to a job. But the idea of them having their meals taken care of support with the housekeeping, and I think one of them just gets their medication reordered and, you know, administered on time. And they don't have to think about it. And I take blood pressure medication. There's plenty of mornings where I'm going and drinking coffee and reply into emails.

And I'm thinking, did I? take that pill? Should I take a second one or how do I handle this? So to have somebody come up and just say, here you go, Mr. Holder, here's your blood pressure pill, see at 4 o'clock. I mean, that could be a huge benefit to them. And then the other aspect that falls under that umbrella of assisted living is memory care.

And that's going to be for residents that have a diagnosis of dementia or cognitive impairment, where assisted living will kind of provide a little bit more structure in the sense that, you know, if they're helping you with X, Y, and Z, then A, A, B, and C, you're kind of free to do whatever you want. Memory care residents, that's a little bit too much freedom for them. They need a lot more of queuing and redirection, maybe a little more help with those activities of daily living. And what comes with a lot of dementia is that exit seeking or that watering or that ability to get lost. That's when a memory care community is going to be a lot better supportive environment for them. They have a higher resident to staff ratio to kind of help with

that. They're going to be smaller communities. Usually about 25 residents will be that, but it's also still an apartment. They still have their own things, their own furniture, their own pictures on the wall. So it's still that residential type environment. We haven't moved on to that nursing home, which is going to be for residents that really have a lot higher acuity than your assisted living residents. They might need a two-person transfer. They might need help with feeding. They might need more of an IV, things like that. That's what nursing homes are, that higher acuity type of environment because of the more medical need of their residents. And when you said a few minutes ago that you only do residential, that's the part you really don't.

You might give them a list of in our area. You might give them a list, but you don't really assist in that particular part. Exactly. And part of that reason really is, I don't have that clinical background. I could tell you the right way to prune a crab tree, but I can't, I don't have that ends and outs of what community or nursing home does a better job. with COPD versus one that, you know, does better with another medical need. So I, and that's not really what my role is.

So I don't want people to be confused by telling them, you know, this one has availability, but I don't know, you know, exactly what that need would be from that, from that standpoint, medically. You know, what I've experienced having had my mom in the assisted living now, there's certainly even different levels of assisted living or I don't even know how to explain it. The first one she was in literally would not have helped to do much beyond the normal things. The one she's in right now has done extraordinary to help her out. And that's where you probably, knowing each of the ones you deal with, can really guide families. Exactly, yeah. So that's a great point. And I just recently am helping two different people where we're having, we had that exact conversation. So that goes back a little bit to that residential. The assisted living is going to follow their licensing, which is going to be called residential care facility, unfortunately. I believe it's facility. But yeah, they can only provide care to a certain point. And when it goes beyond that, that's when they're going to make that.

recommendation for more of the long-term care or the nursing home. But within that, you're absolutely right. Certain assisted living communities will do up to that, what their licensing allow, and other ones can be on the lighter side. So those are great things that, for example, one community I know, unless you can go to the bathroom unassisted, then you're good for their assistive living. But the minute you're going to need that regular assistance to get to the bathroom, that's not going to fit.

They're going to refer you more to their health care or their long-term care where other assisted livings will do that higher level of care or can do that support that's up to their licensing. So yes, going in and knowing that, and that's one of the questions we always ask. So when will mom or dad have to leave here? And what does that scenario look like? Is it going to be a surprise or what's your process as we move towards those higher levels of care? we're going to be let into that, that we're moving down that road.

This won't be a surprise. And so we always explore that conversation in those communities. Yeah, I mean, I'm personally experiencing that, and it's amazing. So let's turn another corner because I know last year you wrote a book. I did, yes. And something like the title of what every person needs to know about, tell me what the name of the title is. I can't remember.

Sorry. Ask Dave Holder what every person should know about senior living option. Okay. Go ahead. No, no, go right ahead. Go write it. So tell me about how you use that book and how it benefit has been for those who you give that book, too.

It's been huge. And thanks to your help and guidance with this, Nina. Yeah, I use this book. I have not, I'm not selling it. I really want people to use this book as a, is just a great reference. It's got, you know, from a little bit of my own story, to I kind of break down some definitions, things to think about. There's a part in there that, you know, Dave's tips, you know, little nuggets to understand

what all these differences are and things to think about. But I use this book in every facet of my life. If every client that I sit down with, a potential client that I'm going to meet with for coffee to talk about their situation and how I can help them, they get a copy of this book and say, hey, read this over. It won't take you very long, but it'll explain. You can reference this as to what those definitions mean, like the difference between independent, assistive living or what a community fee is. That's all broken down within this short little read. But I use that all the time. Anytime I need a potential referral partner, whether that's maybe someone in hospice or a geriatric care manager, an elder law attorney, I say, hey, I wrote this book and give this to your clients if they're considering that.

I just want everybody to be in that proactive mindset. So if I'm doing a speaking engagement, I've always got, you know, a dozen or so of those books to give out because I want people to read this and have that moment of, you know, we might need this. maybe we should look at some options down the road. Or, you know what, my friend's mom was just diagnosed with dementia. That's something that they need to consider. And I hope that this book shed some light and is able to get them in a proactive mind state. Well, obviously, you are not a one only in the neighborhood. You know, you have competition.

Do you think that book has helped you land people to serve that you wouldn't have necessarily had if you hadn't had the book? Oh, I think so. Yeah, for sure. I think that that, you know, everybody is always impressed with it. And, yeah, I've had people that won't sign it, you know, so I think it's a total game changer from that regard. I think it just sets me apart and it's a differentiator. And so, yeah, without a doubt, I think that has completely helped separate. I mean, you know, we're all, I think we're all trying to do the right thing, you know, we're a little like realtors in that regard. And I think that just, you know, the focus and the passion to sit down and write a book

and to put this out there. And again, I'm not trying to, you know, make this a bestseller or, you know, even get a movie made out of it. But I just, I want it to be a resource for people and make a difference for them. Well, I know personally, whenever I meet with anybody who's a subject matter expert of whatever it is they are, and you sit and you talk to them, eyeball, eyeball, across the table, and you take notes and you listen and things, you know, two hours after I leave, I might remember 95% of what they said.

You know, give me two weeks later and I'm going to be pretty, you know, I might be 50% two years later and I can't tell you much of anything. So I'm sure having a book that tells your story, tells all of the different kinds of things, has to be a powerful thing to use in your business. Oh, yeah, you're absolutely right. And that's a wonderful point because it is, when you're going down this path, it is like, you know, the cliche of drinking from a fire hose.

And I tell people all the time, like, that's why I want you to have this. You can refer back to it because we're going to go over stuff and you're going to go, yes, that makes total sense. And you're absolutely right. Two weeks from now, you're going to say, what did he mean by, what does that mean like acuity of residence? What was he talking about? or what was that question we had about the staffing?

You know, they can refer back to the book for those things, or it just keeps you at the forefront so you really can make better decisions. That's what I want. So has that book given you opportunity to do speaking engagements? I mean, are you speaking to any groups and then give them the book? Yeah, yeah, I've done some, I'm working with some churches right now to do that. I've had some presentations with a Parkinson's caregiving group down on the south side of Indianapolis. And, yeah, I bring the book with me or send it ahead of time to say, hey, I'd love to, you know, be able to give this away.

So, yeah, I love that aspect of it, too. That has been some huge leverage. You know, if you didn't have something like that and you did speak, what would you give them a brochure or a little flyer or something? Yeah, I'd give him what everybody else has. Yeah, exactly. But when you can say I'm the guy who wrote the book, that's certainly a game changer. Oh, for sure. Okay.

I'm looking at the time. We are just about out of time. Is there anything else you would like the listeners to know about your industry, about what it is you do? Anything I might not have asked you. Oh, that's great. Yeah, you know, there's no cost to work with me. I'm like a realtor in that regard. So, you know, the seller pays the referral fees.

So I don't charge families. There's no cost. I'm here to be a resource so you can make a better decision. So if you do want to work with me, the communities pay me a referral fee. So by all means, reach out to me first before you start calling around. Don't get on a website and put your information in there. But really, I'm here to guide you to be that resource, that advisor. that advocate so you can make a good decision. It's never too early to call me and at least start

that conversation and start to understand that. I'm not here to make a sale or make a placement. I'm here so you can make a good decision and it really, you're not wasting my time, but really I can't encourage you enough to be proactive and to really just set that mindset. And I've got people, resources and people that I trust that I can point in the right direction to, but anything I can do to make this journey that you think you might be on or maybe you're in the middle of it, I can certainly make it a lot less stressful. Well, that's fabulous. My mother is three hours north of us.

I wish I would have had a Dave Holder when we were going through that whole thing. But obviously, you don't reach that far up in northern Indiana. So Dave, if somebody's listening, how do they get a hold of you? feel free to call me 317-854-90-30. That is my office line. It also ring to my cell phone. You can go to my website, Assistant Living Locators slash Care Advisor North Indy. Or just give me a call.

I'll be happy to help. Sounds good. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you being on today's call. Oh, thank you so much, Nina. It's been great. So until next time, this is Nina Hirshberger. Thank you for listening to Megabucks Radio with Nina Hirshberger. To learn more about the resources mentioned on today's show or to listen to past episodes, visit megabucksradio.com.