Business Innovators Radio - Lyndsey Murray Owner of Relationship Matters Therapy on Improving Relationships

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

In this episode, Luana Ribeira interviews the owner of Relationship Matters Therapy Lyndsey Murray who helps individuals and couples looking to improve their relationships and sex lives. Lyndsey sees clients from all different backgrounds, including those in the LGBTQIA+ community, those in ethical non-monogamous relationships, or anyone who is into kinky sex. Her philosophy regarding relationships and sex is that everyone deserves to have whatever type of relationship they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want (so long as it is legal and consensual, of course!). Learn more here: http://www.relationshipmatterstx.com [e-mail] https://www.facebook.com/sextherapywithlyndseyIG @ lyndseymurraycst twitter @ lyndsmurraycst Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/lyndsey-murray-owner-of-relationship-matters-therapy-on-improving-relationships

Welcome to Business Innovators Radio, featuring industry influencers and trendsetters, sharing proven strategies to help you build a better life right now. Hello and welcome to Business Innovators Radio. With me today, I have Lindsay Marie, sex and relationship therapist. Welcome, Lindsay. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I'm so excited to have you on. You are just everywhere at the minute, aren't you? I kind of am, yeah. It's cosmopolitan all over the place. So you're doing incredible work helping couples and individuals

to find their passion again. Yeah. What's your story, Lindsay? What happened to bring you to this point? Oh gosh. Okay. So going back to, I guess, the beginning of my journey of becoming a sex therapist and kind of how I ended up where I am now. So there was a time, I guess this was maybe like, it was probably six or seven years ago where I personally experienced a sexual assault and had to go to my own therapy for that. And I was around that time, I was in a relationship. And after the assault, it was really, hard to want to have sex with my partner at the time and to want to be intimate. And I was just really struggling with like, how do I overcome this? How do I, I guess, get back in touch with my body

again? And so I went through my own therapy and treatment for that. And it, and it was life-changing. You know, it was really healing, really profound. And that was at the point where I decided at the time, it was more like maybe I just want to be a therapist, maybe trauma specialist. not really sure what I want to do. But the more I went to school for that, the more I started counseling myself, I just kind of realized that I do like working in this niche of relationships, like how we show up in relationships, what is our attachment to our partners, how is that showing up in our sex life? And I really enjoyed that kind of work. And that's what ultimately led me on that path of getting certified for sex therapy and whatever the pandemic,

started. I was working for someone else, not really happy with the organization I was working in and decided to go out of my own and start my own practice and really glad that I did because now I get to do the work that I really enjoy and get to do it the way that I want to do it. Oh, amazing. And what is the way you want to do it? What makes you unique? I would say clients, what they get for me is definitely a lot of authenticity. I'm very personable, very honest, but also very kind. You know, like I'll push clients when they need to, but in a very compassionate way. And especially in the confines of a relationship, when I'm in the room with a couple,

I definitely try to be the leader in the room, right? Like, I don't want it to be a back and forth fight. I kind of want to get to the root of what's happening. And clients know that they're going to get that leadership from me. and then the authenticity as well. Like, I definitely self-disclose at times not to make it about me, but to let them know that I'm a person just like them and I'm not perfect either. And I think that really goes a long way when you're trying to help someone grow

and maybe change the behaviors that they want to change. Oh, that's nice. What would you, so what, at what stage do people come and work with you? what's going on for them? Oh, it can be a variety of reasons. It could be, you know, a couple who's trying to be proactive. Maybe they've just noticed that their communication is off and they're trying to resolve that. It could be infidelity.

It could be couples who haven't had sex in a really long time or maybe one partner has a much higher libido than the other partner. So there's a mismatch and that's causing some stress. really kind of all the above. I will say the couples that come to me more proactively, like once they start realizing, you know, something isn't working and they want to get to root that and resolve it, the earlier, the better. Because those couples who wait, you know, 10, 20 years before coming in,

and that does happen, you know, like how long of the issue's been there, you know, 20 years. It becomes a lot harder to to overcome that because then the layers, the problems become layered a very complex. So it could be honestly a variety of reasons why people would come in and see me. And you also work a lot with the LGBTQ community. Is that right? I do.

Yeah, I have several clients, couples that are, you know, queer, gay, lesbian. and I also have trans clients. So I do work in that realm as well. Fantastic. What do you love about what you do? What is it that lights you up about it? I really enjoy seeing people learn who they are and embrace that and overcome the challenges that they have. Anytime there's, let's say, a negative behavior or something happening that

it's getting in the way of their happiness or the happiness of their relationship. There's usually something internal going on. And when I get to help them figure out what that is and how to love themselves and how to get out of shame and how to get into joy, like that progression is really fun for me to see because my hopes would be, you know, when they come to see me, there should come a point where they don't need me anymore and they can go out in the world and flourish. and if I get to have even a small part in that, like I love getting to see that.

That's amazing. What's the biggest transformation that you've seen in one of your clients or a couple? Biggest transformation. I would say the biggest ones, honestly, this is what pops up in my mind, are those couples who haven't had sex in a really long time. and by the time they leave my office, they're having sex again. And they're enjoying it and they're talking about sex.

Like, it's not timid. It's confident, you know. And they're like reconnected. So that's always a huge transformation for me. Because if you go a long time without intimacy in your relationship, it gets harder and harder to connect or to even want to connect. So it's exciting when I see that, you know, flip 180 and they're in a much better place. And do you find that that impact other parts of their life as well? Oh yeah, absolutely.

When there's stress around sex and intimacy, I feel like it bleeds out as stressed with everything else. Like now they're getting frustrated with each other and now they're not communicating well about anything. And now they don't really even want, they're so annoyed with each other. They don't even want to spend time together and it can really like grow someone apart. and usually there's a big lack of understanding of each other somewhere in there. Wow, that's amazing. So Lindsay, you've got podcasts coming up. Tell us about that.

Yes, so I do have a new podcast. It's called Sex Positivity Unfiltered. And it's on everywhere you can stream podcasts, it's there. And it's also on YouTube. We have videos on YouTube for it. So the whole point of the podcast is... we already have a few episodes and we start off talking about what sex positivity is and why it's necessary in our society and how our society is typically sex negative. Like what does that even mean?

And we're just going to dive into how sex positivity impacts us, our mental health, our body image. And each new episode is going to be about different topics. So it could be about we're going to talk about like porn and ethical porn, you know, gay, queer sex, open. relationships. So we're going to take a deep dive into kind of what all of those things are and what that means for people. So I'm excited because all the topics are going to do, I think, are pretty taboo still. But we're hoping to bring some normalcy to it and get people listening and more comfortable with it. I am so excited about this. When is it launching? The first episode came out July 31st. So we've had two episodes out.

then. Yeah. So we already have three episodes out. Fantastic. We will include the link. I'm looking forward to catching up on those episodes, too. And where else can people find you? They can find me on Facebook, on Instagram, and on TikTok as well. TikTok is actually just the podcast page. But if you look up sex positively unfiltered, you'll see our page. You'll see videos of me on there. So really all the social media sites they can find me and my website as well. Absolutely brilliant. We will include those links. Lindsay, you have been absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much for coming on today.

Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Thanks for listening to Business Innovators Radio. To hear all episodes featuring leading industry influencers and trendsetters, visit us online at businessinnovators.com today.