Business Innovators Radio - The Inspired Impact Podcast with Judy Carlson-Interview with Kelly O’Connor, Elder Care Consultant and Legacy Life Coach

Starting point is 00:00:01 Welcome to the Inspired Impact Podcast, where dedicated female professionals share how they inspire impact every day. Authentic stories, passionate commitment, lives transformed. I'm your host, Judy Carlson. Welcome to today's episode of the Inspired Impact Podcast. I have a very special guest with me today, and she is making a huge, huge, impact, especially in the aging adult community. I would like to introduce you to Kelly O'Connor. Hi, Judy. I'm so glad to be here. Yeah, welcome. So first of all, you've got quite a journey to get to where

Starting point is 00:00:48 you are today. I'd love for you to share a bit about your journey, where you started, and what inspired you to pursue the path that you're on today? Well, my journey as with anyone who's privileged enough to get to live into midlife, it takes a couple of twists and turns. And it started off, you know, I grew up in a really small town in Florida. And we lived with two of our grandmothers, so we lived in a multi-generational home. And I couldn't wait to get the heck out of Dodge. I was so ready to hit the road and go to the big city. And so, I went to college for a couple of years, and then I started working in the fashion business, and I was able to travel around the world, and I ended up in Los Angeles working in fashion marketing.

Starting point is 00:01:46 And it was really wonderful. And then I got a phone call that my mom, who is my best friend in the whole world, that she had breast cancer. And so because at that point, I had much invested in my life and my career, at that point, I was able to give everything up and move home to be with her and my two grandmothers. And it was serious. And so my mom needed personal care. She also needed a lot of logistics in managing her care, which my father and my brothers and I all jumped in and helped where we could. And I was able to move one grandmother to senior living community because that's where she decided she wanted to be.

Starting point is 00:02:30 the other grandmother decided she wanted to stay with her daughter until her daughter passed away. And then after my mom passed away, I moved her into senior living. And then I sort of just, you know, washed my hands of everything. I thought, oh, my gosh, that was just a horrible time in life. I had no idea that it was leading a seed to what my future life would be. And I said at the time that I would volunteer for hospice one day. And so I ended up leaving the fashion industry after about 20 years of working in fashion marketing. And I moved to Colorado.

Starting point is 00:03:09 And I thought I was going for a much simpler life here in Colorado when I started volunteering for a hospice organization. And someone called me and said, you know, you've got a knack for this. And I think you need to be in senior living. And that's really how it all started. Wow. Senior living. So what kinds of opportunities opened up for you in the senior living environment? Well, the first thing I did was I worked at a large continuing care retirement community,

Starting point is 00:03:39 which has independent living, assisted living, memory care, and skilled nursing all on one campus. And I was able to work in the moves and transition area. And then there was so much consulting that I was doing with families. that I wanted to do more of that. And I was able to buy a senior living placement agency. So I did that, built that company for five years and was able to sell it after a few years and then start another practice after I took a little bit of a sabbatical and start a new practice, which I'm doing now. Wow. So you dove right in to buy a senior living placement agent.

Starting point is 00:04:27 see my goodness. I did. And, you know, I really, along the way, I was getting lots of education, doing lots of continuing education, and got involved with some amazing organizations in the process. And I absolutely love this industry. And I know this is where I'll be for the rest of my career. Wow.

Starting point is 00:04:48 So you said after you sold that, took a little bit of time off to regroup and started something new that you're doing now. Tell us about that, Kelly. So what I'm doing now is I'm working as an elder care consultant, a private elder care consultant for families. So usually it's a family that's either in crisis and they're calling me, you know, 9-1-1 to, you know, help solve some sort of issue that their family is facing due to elder care. Or they see a crisis on the horizon and they're calling me in for preventative care to really cover. to really come in and help educate the family. And then there's something else that I'm doing.

Starting point is 00:05:32 It's I'm working with the older adults themselves as a life coach. And most people think life coaching is for, you know, younger people or for professionals. But I found this beautiful group of people that I'm able to support them in their later life, 70s, 80s, 90s, and 100s, and really help them come up with their own. own plan for their life, but also to help them meet some goals and dreams that they've said, that they're just not able to get to by themselves without the support of a professional

Starting point is 00:06:06 coach. Wow. So you've got sort of three major things going on right now, moving forward, the elder care consultant for families in crisis or for families who see a crisis on the horizon and then a life coach for older adults. So how do people find out about these various offerings that you have? Well, I have a website. First and foremost, I have a website that's senior care Kelly.com. And so I have that website, but most people have heard about me through financial advisors through elder law attorneys, maybe people in the senior living industry. I've done a lot of networking over the years and are fortunate to have a nice reputation in the industry. With the life coaching and the elder care consulting, I'm working not only in Denver

Starting point is 00:07:06 and in Colorado, but I'm working around the country too, which has been a huge blessing to expand my reach. So when you work with, obviously when you work with the families of an elder, person they're familiar with technology and can Zoom with you if they're too far away or out of state. How about the 70s, 80s, 90s, and hundreds people that you may not be meeting face to face during their coaching program? How are they with the technology in Zoom and the different things that you do with them? That's such a great question. And you know, most people are doing pretty well. I do most of my coaching sessions on Zoom. Occasionally we'll have a technological difficulty and then we just talk on the phone. But most of it's done on Zoom. And our older adults

Starting point is 00:08:02 are very used to doing telehealth appointments. They're also very used to FaceTime. And so they are very much more technological savvy than I originally expected. Wow. I didn't even think about that, but you're right. I would think that a lot of them are doing the telehealth from home. I mean, that's one of the hardest things is getting to and from doctor appointments. Yes. And so they're used to the technology. You know, COVID threw us all into, you know, we sped up our technological abilities and everything at that time.

Starting point is 00:08:45 And so that did not leave our older adults to the wayside. I find that some of my clients may be even more technologically savvy than their children. Because sometimes a 90-year-old, she's like, oh, yeah, I'll just FaceTime. And then, you know, their child who's a 60 or 70-year-old may be a little resistant to using technology. So it has been an interesting, interesting. social experiment. Right. I love that.

Starting point is 00:09:18 Your 90-something clients' child in their 60s or 70s. That's just amazing the people. So I'm sure you have amazing stories of transformation. I mean, who knew that there needed to be someone out there like you, helping, you know, the aging adults who are maybe more in isolation? or lonely and are wondering what's left for me the rest of my life? It's been so beautiful to get them to find purpose and meaning in their life and get them to dream a little bit. And yes, they may need to alter some of their dreams a little bit due to mobility or, you know,

Starting point is 00:10:06 time or money. You know, we all have to, you know, set our, you know, set our goals and dreams somewhat within reality of what's possible. But I tell you, I have a client that I worked with and she was really feeling despondent when I started working with her. And her sense of purpose, she was so low in like, what is there for me? And we've worked together for six months. And after the six months, I do, I do these calculations, which I know if anyone's ever worked with you as a financial advisor, or you love your formulas and calculations. And I do the same thing because life coaching people, it can be a little bit woo-woo.

Starting point is 00:10:49 And so I like to bring it down. And this one gal, she had a 500% increase in her level of purpose and sense of meaning in her life. And it was just so wonderful that I could show her exactly how that worked and was able to remind her of all the things that we did during our six months. together to really help her develop these habits. And these will be lifelong habits for her. Wow. So you mentioned that you worked with her for six months. So walk me through sort of a typical engagement with someone for the life coaching side in their 70s, 80s, 90s. How do you determine that they'd be a good fit to work with you? And then what kind of a process do you take them through? How often do you meet with them? Are their followers?

Starting point is 00:11:41 follow-ups once you completed it. I'd love to know more about that, Kelly. Yes. So I do customize it to the person. Okay. And so, but generally, the way it works is we meet twice a month over a six-month period. So there's 12 sessions. And I call them little pop-in sessions. They can text me anytime, which, yes, our older adults text to or call me on the phone. And, you know, anytime I'm available to them. I make a six-month commitment to them. I only take a limited number of clients so that I can really serve the ones that I work with as fully as possible. And so what we do is I do an assessment at the very beginning to find out what in their life is the most challenging and where would they like to see the most movement. And this is how it's customized to each person. So the gal

Starting point is 00:12:38 who I just mentioned before, she was really struggling with her sense of purpose. What does she do? She felt like, you know, caregiving for her husband was all that she was doing in her whole life and didn't have any outside life is what she felt like. And so what we were able to do is to work through some of her belief systems around caregiving and what that looked like for her and what the expectations were from society, from her family, from her husband. And we were able to really work through that and help her find her voice. And so in finding her voice, she could really speak to her family about what she needed for her life. And she ended up going and joining an organization and is now traveling around the country as well as caregiving for her husband.

Starting point is 00:13:32 is traveling around the country, sharing her gifts with people. It's just been amazing what different people will come up with. And then I, as the facilitator, just get the privilege of watching them bloom and blossom. Right. You know, that's an interesting scenario. I think it's very prevalent out there, Kelly. I don't let anybody leave a meeting or a series of meetings without having that discussion about how do you want to be cared for later in life?

Starting point is 00:14:05 So many scenarios of the wives caring for their husbands and feeling purposeless in the whole scheme of things. So to give her, I mean, I don't know, sometimes maybe for the first time in their lives at that age, finding their voice, what a gift. Like I said, I get the privilege of watching them really start to flourish in their lives and to see them do the ahas. That's one thing that we do at the end of every session as we talk about what was the biggest

Starting point is 00:14:40 aha from this session. What did you learn? And then so at the end of the six months, I'm able to reflect back to them all the things that they learned, all the areas that they grew. They do a self-analysis at the beginning of every, every session. And so that's how I sort of run the numbers and put them together so that we have. have those tangible results at the end of the six months where they can see their own improvement. I mean, 12 touches plus any texts or phone calls in the middle is a significant amount of

Starting point is 00:15:13 information to accumulate to help someone look back and realize how far they've come and what they've accomplished. And not only that, but where they're going to go from there for the rest of their life. Now, do you have, like, in six months, will you touch base with them or will they touch base with you or maybe down the road a year or how does that work? Again, it really does vary between people, but I keep up with them every six months just to touch base. You know, there are people that will call and say, you know, I've had this change of events that has happened.

Starting point is 00:15:51 And so we do a little mini session in between. Yeah. But it really is a meaningful relationship and to be able to build. that type of meaningful relationship in later life, truly it becomes a very sacred relationship for them. And for the families to have the peace of mind knowing that their loved one has someone that they're relying on, counting on, has entrusted and knows them at a very deep level is very rewarding. I can't even imagine when you have family relationships. and I've been through it with my parents,

Starting point is 00:16:34 and you don't always get to have the same types of conversations that someone like you could have with your aging parents. That's completely different and outside of the scope of the parent-child relationship, no matter how old we all are, that is very rewarding for you and for them. Yes, and it's interesting. Sometimes I hear people talk about their parents are so resistant and they won't have the conversation and so forth.

Starting point is 00:17:04 But many times it's the adult children that don't want to have the conversation. And to be able to have a conversation about how do we sit down? And I call it a business meeting. And I think that families need to sit down once a year and have a family business meeting and to really talk about, you know, what has changed, what we need to look forward to, what we need to do, what does the year look like? I think that type of annual planning is really important. Maybe there's another facet of your business on the horizon that's called

Starting point is 00:17:40 Facilitating Family Meetings annually. I would love that. Wouldn't that be awesome? Great idea. I think that's phenomenal, Kelly. Oh, my gosh. I see it so often couples that come in and I'll ask them questions and they'll look at each other and it doesn't matter really how old they are.

Starting point is 00:18:01 And they'll just say, you know, we've never had that conversation before. And I said, okay, well, let's have it now then. I mean, and I'm not a life coach or a therapist by any means. But financially, we need to have those conversations. And if they embark on, you know, working with us, they have to have them, either with us or with each other. Well, that's what I appreciate about you is that you don't leave a stone unturned, that you make sure that your clients have a comprehensive and truly holistic view of their financial futures. And those are the things that I do similarly with the family. It's like, let's talk about caregiving.

Starting point is 00:18:48 You know, yes, I know you want to stay at home. But, you know, do we know how expensive home care is now? And what if staying at home is no longer the safest option, then what do we do? Sometimes we have to do a plan A, a plan B, a plan C, and a plan D in order to be able to get down to what is really possible. Yeah, we call it long-term care planning because the scope of the plan can be multi-varied. it can incorporate so many different strategies, and it can pivot and change over time. And if it's not used, like I just had a gentleman tell me that both of his parents had long-term care insurance policies.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Now, he's in his 70s, so his parents have been gone for a while. But back in the day, you bought one and you paid until you either went on claim or died. And he said, both of my parents died at home without any care. care whatsoever and then that money spent and gone forever. And, you know, those have changed dramatically over the years. But people are afraid that if they do something like that, it's going to be money down the drain. So it is a lot of education and there's so many options, but you're right, having different plans in place that when this happens, you pull this plan off the shelf, you open up the binder or the folder in your computer and you execute it.

Starting point is 00:20:23 And then you aren't in a panic situation. Yes, correct. I have a question about, like you mentioned, the one woman was caregiving or husband. So is it typically one or the other, if they're married, one or the other of the spouses that reaches out and does the six-month consulting with you? Or do you do them together or how does that work? It's really an individual program. I haven't had a couple come to me yet.

Starting point is 00:20:53 I'm not opposed to that, but I haven't had a couple come to me yet. I did have a woman who insisted that her husband come to see me, which was hysterical. So our first session was him on Zoom with his arms crossed sitting back in his chair. And I said, okay, first of all, we're going to loosen up. So I made him wiggle his shoulders, wiggle his hands. He did not want to move at all, but I can see him. And I'm like, okay, come on, you can do this and wiggle your hands and wiggle your heart and just trying to get him to loosen up, to be there present with me.

Starting point is 00:21:29 And I said, okay, well, I know that your wife was the one that reached out first. Tell me what your thoughts are about being here. And he was like, well, I'm not really excited about it. And I said, okay, tell me why. And we went down that. What was his resistance? And I tell you, during his six-month period, there was a family crisis. And it was so wonderful.

Starting point is 00:21:55 He was at, you know, my virtual doorstep, if you will, looking for support on a day when he really needed it. And I tell you, I am so grateful that we had that built-in relationship that he had someone he knew that he could call and trust during a really difficult time. Oh, wow, Kelly. That's an amazing story. Wow. Bless you for the impact that you're making in their lives and with their spouses and with their families. And I'm sure caregivers see a change of heart and their whole lives can be transformed. That's amazing.

Starting point is 00:22:37 Well, you mentioned senior care Kelly.com, but it's SR. It's S-E-N. Yep, S-E-N-I-O-R-C-E, Kelly, K-E-E-L-L-L-Y, just Senior Care Kelly, all spelled out. Okay. And there they can find out information about any of the programs that you offer. Is that correct? Yes, there's a link over to the Life Coaching website from Senior Care Kelly. Okay.

Starting point is 00:23:10 It's called My Legacy Life Coach. but they can link over there from the Senior Care Kelly website too and vice versa. Well, I am thrilled that you're in my life and that I know about you so that when I meet with people who absolutely need your services had a meeting today, actually, where I'm thinking through, hmm, this might be an opportunity. Is there a cost to sort of have an intro meeting with you? There's not a cost at all. Usually we'll do an intro meeting on the phone.

Starting point is 00:23:45 And then if it's something that someone is truly interested in, we'll usually set up a Zoom call. Sometimes it's with the older adults and the children together. If it's someone here in Denver, a lot of times I make a house call too. Because I really want to make sure there's a chemistry match. You know, these are deeply personal experiences that we get to the privilege of, privilege of sharing with others. And so I want to make sure that there's a chemistry match and that it will be a good use of their time and money and we'll get the maximum results together. Oh, I love that. We're the same way, man. If they can't see us in person and who we are and how we work

Starting point is 00:24:28 and our personalities, it's really tough and that just doesn't come through on Zoom. I was meeting with a gentleman in another state and we happen to be at the same meeting somewhere in the country and he looks into me and he goes, wow, you're a lot thinner than I thought you were going to be. Yes, and as you know, I'm really tall. That's what people are always blown away when they meet me in person. They're like, oh, my gosh, I didn't know how tall you were. Oh, that's so funny. Well, Kelly, this has been an absolute delight.

Starting point is 00:25:06 Thank you for your time. I know that our listeners are going to be blessed, and I'm just grateful that you could carve out this time to be with us today. Thank you. Good. Well, thank you so much for the invitation. I'm a big fan of yours and the work that you're doing with your firm. And so, and the podcast, I'm just really excited that you're doing great things with this podcast. So thank you again for the invitation. You're welcome, Kelly. Thanks. so much for joining us for the Inspired Impact Podcast. To listen to past episodes, please visit

Starting point is 00:25:46 theinspiredimpactpodcast.com.

Business Innovators Radio - The Inspired Impact Podcast with Judy Carlson-Interview with Kelly O’Connor, Elder Care Consultant and Legacy Life Coach

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