Business Innovators Radio - The Inspired Impact Podcast with Judy Carlson-Interview with Stacy Ingram Mental Toughness Coach

Episode Date: September 22, 2024

Stacy Ingram is a dedicated Mental Toughness coach specializing in empowering young athletes and performers to overcome the invisible barriers that often hinder their performance. With a focus on the mental side of the game, her programs are designed to equip athletes and performers with the cognitive tools and resilience needed for success both in sports/the arts and in everyday life.Programs are also available for teams, coaches, and parents. In addition, she coaches business leaders in Peak Performance, Team Dynamics, Change Management, Leadership, Culture, and more.In addition to Stacy’s 30-year business career, she has specialized training in Mindset Coaching, Positive Psychology, the High Sensitivity Trait, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Positive Intelligence (PQ), and Hypnotherapy.BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE COURAGEOUS.CultivatingYourCourage.nethttps://www.linkedin.com/in/stacyingram/https://www.facebook.com/CultivateYourCourage/https://www.instagram.com/cultivatingyourcourage/*************************************************************Judy is the CEO & Founder of the Judy Carlson Financial Group. She helps her clients design, build, and implement fully integrated and coordinated financial plans from today through life expectancy and legacy.She is an Independent Fiduciary and Comprehensive Financial Planner who specializes in Wealth Decumulation Strategies. Judy is a CPA, Investment Advisor Representative, Life and Health Insurance Licensed, and Long-Term Care Certified.Judy’s mission is to educate and empower her clients with an all-inclusive financial plan that encourages and motivates them to pursue their lifetime financial goals and dreams.Learn More: https://judycarlson.com/Investment Adviser Representative of and advisory services offered through Royal Fund Management, LLC, a SEC Registered Adviser.The Inspired Impact Podcasthttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/the-inspired-impact-podcast/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/the-inspired-impact-podcast-with-judy-carlson-interview-with-stacy-ingram-mental-toughness-coach

Welcome to the Inspired Impact Podcast, where dedicated female professionals share how they inspire impact every day. Authentic stories, passionate commitment, lives transformed. I'm your host, Judy Carlson. Welcome to today's episode of the Inspired Impact Podcast. I am so excited for today's guest, Stacey. Ingram is joining us, and she has quite a story. Welcome, Stacey. Thank you so much. Glad to be here. Yay. So you have quite a journey over a lot of years. I would love to learn more about what got you started, what inspired you to pursue the path you're on, and how has that allowed you to make an impact in the field you're in today?

Yeah, lots of questions in there. You know, really my career has not been a straight line at all, which honestly, coming out of college, I thought it would be. And I think my very first shock coming out of college was that the glass ceiling wasn't gone. And maybe it shouldn't have been. But I just felt like, really, this is still here. This is still happening. Come on. And so, you know, I thought that was my first. sort of venture into the corporate world. And I worked in corporate marketing and advertising for almost 30 years, about half at advertising agencies and the other half at companies running their marketing communications organizations. And I worked for a lot of big brands. So I worked on Pepsi and all their brands for 10 years and ran some of the West Coast for the agency. I've worked on Tide and Downey and Bounce and all the laundry products for Procter and Gamble. and I've worked on McDonald's franchises for Rocky Mountain. Oh, gosh, what else?

I've worked in energy. So a bunch of different industries. And, you know, the one thing that's definitely common is there's big challenges along the way. And I'm sure we'll talk about some of that later in the session today. But corporate is an interesting environment. So I did that for about 30 years. Then I decided I wanted to have my own business.

so I opened a clothing boutique for women and I loved it. My daughters participated to, I have a 22 year old and a 25 year old. And so it was just fun to be able to do something together. Plus, we all love clothes and fashion and the rest of it. I'm a pretty creative person. So whether I'm building ads on the television or I'm, you know, putting an outfit on a person, it's all sort of about color and composition and texture and all. of the things. And I really did love it. I think the other purpose around it was really to make women feel

comfortable in their own skin. And, you know, it's interesting in that I would have the most beautiful women come in and they could be size zero or they could be, you know, size 12, doesn't matter and anything in between. And I think even the people we think look perfect, they don't think so. And so, a lot of it is getting them to feel really confident in what they're wearing. And, you know, when we don't feel confident in what we're wearing, we walk in the room almost with our head down versus, you know, really feeling good. And so that's kind of how that started. And really that led me to what I'm doing today because I had so many women that came in that just needed someone not in their circle to talk to. And I started taking a lot of psychology and coaching classes and things

like that, thinking that I could do some sessions on the weekend or before we opened or after for women. And then COVID happened. And as most people know, COVID in retail didn't really get along very well. And so ultimately, I decided to close my store, which was a very hard decision. But then I really wanted to continue the coaching because I'm at a point in my career in my life that I just feel like I want to make a difference for someone else and, you know, make sure that I'm doing something that really matters. And so I had continued all my coaching classes have now had about 42 hours of psychology, a bunch of coaching in sports psychology and also hypnotherapy, NLP, you name it, a bunch of things in this space.

I'm the kind of person that sort of overprepared. So I wanted to have a lot of different things. But I did start working with women and it was fine. But I really missed the mentorship piece that I had at my store with my high school kids and my college kids. And you'd be surprised how much some of them are going through. And so I decided to change my focus. And so right now I am a mental toughness and performance coach for teen athletes.

So middle school, high school, a little bit of college, all different sports, also things in performance like dance, singing, whatever it might be. And, you know, I love these kids, seeing their progress and really seeing how they're making a difference too. Wow. So much wonderful information. I love what you said about women needing to be comfortable in their own skin and putting an outfit together that's color-coordinated, composition, texture. A lot of times, though, women can feel really good on the outside. But interestingly enough, where that journey has led you is more to the mental side of how we feel about ourselves. Yeah, it definitely has.

I mean, I think that as women in particular, you know, we tend to have a lot of, lot of insecurities, and that sometimes also can carry down to our kids because, you know, our daughters and sons are watching us too. Boy, isn't that the truth? And now that you've got 20-something-year-old children who are with you when your store opened, the transformation you've been able to see in them as well as your customers along the way, that must be remarkable, Stacey. It is really rewarding.

And, you know, the one thing I always really loved about the store, and this was true for my girls as well as other others that just worked at the store for me, is, you know, we'd get them typically when they're a sophomore and we were lucky enough that they always stayed with us until they graduated into college so we could kind of stay connected and see their progression. I still see a few of them today. And, you know, we'd start out and we always had to do videos with like new styles and all, because we in a boutique, he could get new styles in every single day. And at first, people were like petrified of doing, me included, honestly. And over time, you just got used to it. But I felt like by the time those girls graduated, they were confident in themselves. They had no problem talking to adults.

You know, they understood a. lot of things about public speaking and how to carry themselves and all of that. And I was really proud of that because, like I said, some of them came in on not shy, but, you know, they also didn't have that level of confidence. And to watch them leave with that just made me really happy. And I spent a lot of time in your boutique, to be honest, Stacy with my daughter who was, you know, in her teens and early 20s. And I remember the gals, you know, who helped us and welcomed us with a smile and what are you looking for today and suggesting things.

And kudos to you for the growth and development and the peace of their lives that you were part of. Thank you. It was great to be a part of it. And, you know, some of the kids had normal great home lives, but some of them didn't. And so for those that didn't, it was kind of their time of respite, if you will. And, you know, I think they really enjoyed being in that space. And I hope that came through to our customers, too.

And then you transitioned into more working with women. And I loved your word. We always over-prepare. And don't we, though, as women, we, we, over-prepared, we study, we train, we, you know, go to classes and become who we really want to be. I'd love to know more about your transition between working with women and then working with your teen athletes. Yeah, you know, it was a transition because you're still working on the kind of the insides of someone, their brain and how they think and how they feel things and all of it.

But, you know, my programs are really different because they were geared more towards adults. And the things I do now are geared more towards teens, but they, some things are the same. You know, things like self-talk, self-confidence, how to deal with bad situations, communication. You know, some of those things are the same. But then there's a lot of things that are different. Like with my athletes, we work on routines before all their big meets and games and things where they know what they're going to do the night before, what they're going to do day of, what they're going to do when they get there, and really putting process in place so that, you know, they're so focused on the process that they really don't have time to be stressed out or anxious or any of it. And so we try and really do some things like that so that the teens are really prepared. But of course, we also work on bigger picture things like what are their goals, how to set goals.

Most high schoolers have no idea how to set goals. And I can tell you, I didn't learn in high school either. You know, you just think I want to achieve X. And then besides that, you don't fill in the middle. That's a really good point. So with these kids, we do that. We fill in the middle. So that one, they can see what they actually are accomplishing on the weight of that goal, you know, and get some self-satisfaction for the work that they're doing.

But then also, you know, I want these kids also to leave confident in their own skin. Like, I want them to feel good about what they're doing. And, you know, I have athletes, everything from kids that are likely to get a D1 scholarship to kids that just want to enjoy playing sports in high school. school without all the pressure and want to be able to do their best. So I have a wide range of types of athletes and students. And to be honest, I just love working with them. I love seeing them succeed. I get so excited when I get their text messages about how they did, you know, because I'm always been an anxious one. I'm like, okay, I hope they did good. How'd they do? Wow. The relationship you develop with these kids must just be awesome. I've got goosebumps listening to you

tell me that you're getting text messages from them. Do you have one particular or a couple different situations in particular that really stand out to you when you realize you're making those differences in their lives? Yeah, I do. I mean, I use this example a lot, but I had one girl that came to me and literally she got so nervous before her meets that the week before she would just pick at her cuticles and her fingers, the skin on her fingers, until her fingers would bleed. And literally all of them. And the first time I met with her, I was like, yeah, yeah, that's not going to continue. So we worked hard on that.

And she doesn't do it anymore. And, you know, I think every time I see her now, I'm like, Show me your hands. Yep. Mm-hmm. But, you know, that was something that she just got so much anxiety. And I think that in our work together, she learned how to compete without that. She learned how to compete better.

You know, she, we were joking about something. And I was like, oh, well, you know, you were always confident. And she's like, she's like, you know, let's be honest. I wasn't confident at all. But I am now. So things like that just make you smile. And, you know, this one in particular, she wanted to get the 10th best of all time in a meet. And so we worked really hard on that.

And she, in her meet, that was the big one. She got six best of all time. Oh, my gosh. That is so exciting, Stacy. Oh, my gosh. It was. I got her next. And I was jumping up and down.

I was like, yay. Well, you go to some of your kids' events. too, don't you? I do. You know, I don't always tell them I'm coming, mostly because I, and I always ask them, I was going to make you more nervous and it won't come. But, you know, I like to see how they're interacting with their coach, with their team members, how they react when something bad happens, or they fail at something, you know, because emotional regulation is something we do work on and how to handle themselves in the right way and how to handle basically their nervous. system. I think we don't know, you know, that the average person doesn't really think about the fact

that your emotions and beliefs and all of those things are tied in with your nervous system because our whole fight or flight history with that can really affect how we think sometimes. So really being able to understand a little bit about their biology and how it affects other things in their body so that they can be controlling that instead of it controlling you. Wow. Going back to something you said at the very beginning about facing the glass ceiling, and this is 30 years ago or more, and what that meant to you as a female professional, and then how your challenges have changed over the years as you've pivoted and started.

your own business. Tell me a little bit about the challenges you face then, if you still face challenges like that, and how you've overcome those. Yeah, they are hard. And I think as women in business, we face all kinds of things. And I can tell you, I've seen much of it. I've been, you know, constantly asked out by my boss, by my boss's boss. Before I was married, you know, I've been in rooms with lots of comments that I don't appreciate. I've been, you know, sort of denied a job that I had been given because I got pregnant. And so they decided it was I couldn't travel that much and I wouldn't be able to do the job without even talking to me. Like they just decided it on their own.

And I was so mad. I can't even tell you. It's like, well, I think that's my decision, not really yours. and then just the whole thing about, I do think as women, somehow we end up having to work harder, do more than our male counterparts sometimes to get to the same place. And I think that can be challenging. I think the other thing for me is I just have really strong morals and values and integrity. And a lot of times there were things that I wasn't willing to do. And I think sometimes that hurt me.

but, you know, I felt like that was my line. And so sometimes I think as women, we need to decide what that is. You know, where are our boundaries? What are the lines we are willing or not willing to cross? And how does that affect our career? Because it usually does. I think as far as like overcoming, I think really, honestly, that's almost like an interesting.

side job, I would say, is really understanding who you are, really understanding what you're good at, and being confident in yourself. And, you know, I had somebody say to me that also worked in corporate and left that said, you know what, I don't think I could ever put that mask back on. And I thought about that. And I was like, wow, I guess you're right because I feel like for so long it wasn't acceptable to really talk about your kids or your family. You know, there's so many things that COVID changed. And that's one of the good things is it really integrated people's lives. And I think at least in the places Iowa, I, you know, worked. It was sort of like, okay, we don't really need to hear about that. And I mean, not every company I worked for was that way. Like Pepsi,

for sure, was not that way. But there definitely were some conservative companies that, you know, that were. And so, you know, sometimes you have to learn how to stand up for yourself, how to not take people's crap and, you know, be authentically you. And I think one thing we learn is where do we fit being authentically us, you know, and maybe it's not in this role or that role or, you know, whatever it might be. And honestly, I think the older you get, the more you just feel like, you know, I just want to be authentically me. And if that isn't good enough, then I don't want to work there. Right. And I think when we're younger, it's hard to do that and have that level of confidence. It is, right. 30 years in the corporate business world. And then,

you know, going into owning your own boutique, I'm guessing, and maybe you can share a little bit about this, how your authentically you has been transformed from stepping out of the corporate world into the boutique and now working individually with teen athletes, I would imagine you're seeing yourself become more authentically you. Oh, for sure. Definitely. And, you know, I think I didn't even realize how tightly I was wound up until my kids are like, man, mom, you're like a whole new person. And I was like, what? They're like, you're relaxed. You're like, you know, more fun. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And I do think that's true, you know, and I really enjoyed the relationships with the women that came in the store. And I still, you know, see a lot of them on Facebook, what they're doing,

things like that. But I did enjoy that piece of it. And I think it did allow me to kind of take off all those layers. of I have to be this way or I have to be that way in order to kind of fit in with this circle of, you know, directors or whatever you were doing, whatever level. And I love that. I love that I don't have to worry about any of that stuff. And I also love that I was able to set the culture for my team. You know, I was able to do that in most companies I work for. but I think that that's really important because that is what, you know, makes a place nice to work,

not nice to work, makes you successful, not successful. And I really tried to create a strong team culture there because I wanted everyone to feel included. But I also, you know, when I hired these girls, I kind of set it right out. I'm like, I don't do drama, done it for a long time. I don't do it anymore. And so if you're the source of the drama, you're the one leaving. So I just kind of set those expectations out right away. And honestly, in all the time and all the girls we had, they're only two.

I had to let go. But everyone else really did their best and got along well and supported each other and all of those things. And I think I have been able to bring a lot of my corporate leadership skills and building high-performing teams has always been a big strength of mine in all kinds of roles. And so I also wanted to bring that to the store. But I think the other piece is just it allowed me to be creative. And while I could be creative at work, it was sort of in a different way. You know, for example, in the last corporate position I had, you know, I had to dress a certain way.

And so when I was at the store and I could dress more trendy and whatever I wanted to wear, I was so excited. Yep. And I think some of that is being authentically us too is, you know, what is our personality like? Where do we fit? And I think I was also really willing to share a lot more vulnerabilities in a corporate environment. You don't do that very often because it gets in your way of, you know, moving. moving up. But in my store, I felt like it was a strength and how I related to people. And I also feel like that with the kids I work with now, too, is, you know, I'm really open with them about

struggles I've had also. And often because I want them to see that they're not the only one. Right. Boy, that is so true. If you can start to share some of the struggles you've been through and then they're like, wow, I'm getting coaching and mentoring from you, but you've also gone through this. That makes it even more valuable to them. Yeah, I think also our high schoolers and all teens in general and also college, early college especially, face so much pressure. You know, our athletes are, many of them have been playing since they're three years old.

So by the time they get to high school, they're pretty dang good. And two, they're so committed that they're playing at their school, but that's not even the half of it. They have club teams year-round. They have travel teams. They have all these other things going on. And many of these kids are also high achievers.

And so they have AP classes and other obligations as well. And so fitting it all in is tough. And then the social media piece is tough. You know, that affects so much of their life. And so I think. that's a hard one that, you know, at least for me when I was in high school, we didn't have. Right. Yeah. Adds a lot more of the dimension to their lives today that we didn't have to face. Well, Stacey, as we wrap up, I would love for you to share if there are moms or adults or

kids listening to this. What's the best way for them to connect with you to learn more about what you're doing because you're transforming lives every day and inspiring so much impact. And I could go on and on with you today. It's just been so exciting to talk with you. I have so many more questions, but let's at least tell our listeners the best way to connect with you and start working with you. Yes, thanks so much. Well, my website is cultivating your courage.net. And there's a lot of information on what I do and on me there. But also my email is very similar. It's just Stacey at cultivating your courage.net. And it's just Stacy. And so you can email me as well. Those are two of the ways. And then of course I have sort of the standard Facebook page. I have

a LinkedIn, all of that. I also, you know, why I named my company that is it does take courage to work on yourself internally and to really work on the mental side of who we are. And so that's why I kind of wanted to reinforce that. And my tagline is be bold, be brave, be courageous, which is actually a verse from Isaiah. But trying to encourage these kids to take a step forward and not be afraid to do it. Wow. Amen, sister. I love your tagline. Be bold, be brave, be courageous. That sums it all up, doesn't it? Yep. Do the hard stuff. Do the hard stuff. It's worth it. Yes. Well, thank you, Stacey, so much for joining us today. I am just so excited for the women who are going to be able to be transformed with their kids and their lives in the future. So thank you so much for joining us. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Thanks so much for joining us for the Inspired Impact Podcast. To listen to past episodes, please visit theinspiredimpactpodcast.com.