Bussin' With The Boys - Ben Newman

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

Thank you: www.regalrg.com We get deep on this week’s episode on the Bussin’ With The Boys. Best-Selling Author and Mental Conditioning Coach for numerous NFL, PGA, NBA, and NCAA athletes and for The University Of Alabama’s football team, Ben Newman, joins the boys on the bus this week to get serious. We learn about Newman’s story, some tips to help you in life, and how Ben has Helped Will during his career. Check out our sponsor:Regal Realty Group - Hunter BrileyPersonal 615-630-9735615-483-0856www.regalrg.com   Rate us 5 stars because you're for the boys. Website: bussinwtb.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BussinWTB Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bussinwtb/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BussinWTB/  Merch: https://hangtn.com/collections/bussin-with-the-boysFor more, visit barstool.link/bussinwtbSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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You can also follow us on Instagram and Twitter, Bustin WTB. And you can also go follow us or follow us or friend us or however that shit works on Facebook, busing with the boys. Now to our episode, we change it up a little bit, my pups. We change it up. The wolves we wanted to get, we want different variety of guests on here.

You know, that's one reason we've had Chobon, Rich Froning, Michael Chandler, a bunch of different people, Sean Booth, to name a few different people out of the football world. Because, yes, we get, we have that little edge with football. We get our initial clientele, our initial audience is football. But it's very important to us that we are, we show you guys that we are more than just a football podcast. There's a lot of shit that goes on with us that we're very intrigued about.

In this episode here we have on performance coach and author, Ben Newman. Ben is somebody that I've been close with for several years now. You know, he's a bestselling author and he's a performance mental coach. He works directly with the outside. Alabama Crimson Tye football team. He works with, he just got hired on for the Kansas State football team. He works with athletes in the NFL, PGA, NBA, MLB, UFC, and the NCAA. He's a stud, man.

He writes for Forbes. He is, he's the Y guy for me. Taylor and I sat down with him. We got into some great conversations. A little bit about my story with Ben, my journey with Ben, on getting some mental coaching done since I've been in the league. Taylor and him go banter back and forth about Michigan and Michigan

State, him going to Michigan State, Taylor going to Michigan. Taylor drops some fucking gyms. There's a lot of good storytelling. This is a really cool episode. It gets super deep in a good way. We have fun at the beginning and then we get in some real nitty-gritty shit, man. And it's

I'm a big believer in mental performance. Taylor and I both are. We'll be sending each other videos law of attraction mental psychology training shit from David Gagins Joe Rogan Tony Robbins Conne McGregor all that shit do we said we're constantly sending each other's shit so

you know it's a big part of our lives staying on kind of the mental grind just as much as performance and physical you know super important stuff and really insightful things I think you guys are really going to like this Ben Newman episode you could find him on social media's

at continued fight on Instagram and Twitter. That is at continued fight. And again, he is a mental performance coach for the Alabama football team, Kansas State football team, guys around all different varieties of leagues, myself, guys in the NFL. So I think you guys are really going to like this one. It's a big change of. It's not just bullshit in the whole time.

We're following his story. We're talking about a lot of shit and some stuff that is very relatable. And I hope you guys take into your lives. and after you guys listen to this, if you guys feel like, we would greatly appreciate it, share this episode. Let us know how you felt about this episode. Comment to us on Twitter, and you know, you guys are in this thing with us,

but appreciate you, motherfuckers, and I hope you guys enjoy this episode, Ben Newman. So, you know, there's one can of worms that we probably should open that you probably didn't tell them. What's ahead? What's up? Then I went to Michigan State.

Oh, no, it's okay. I just got to make sure I talk slow. See, you know, remember everything. Hey, solid combat. I love when he made Brable point up to the hail. Oh, that was fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, man. We got to make sure people, if you go on the bus, man, you're in Cornhusker territory.

I just wanted to give you extra ammunition. I was terrified enough already. It's not ammunition, man. It's kind of just like, welcome, glad to have you. Hey, easy. Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah. Let's get your color.

A coloring books will be fine. All right. Fix his mic if you need to, Aaron. He's over here, like, about to rip it out of the fucking bus. I have to get that black card out. They can pay for it. Yo, it's raining outside. It's storming.

That close? Doesn't matter. Doesn't fucking matter. It's just like K. You know? It's just like K. Storm. And it's one of those storms, too, where the lightning flashes and the noise happens within a second.

It's like, yeah. It's like deaths all around us. Yeah. Generator going on outside. No excuses to play like a champion. Rule number. 76. Just a lot of, adversity, dude.

A lot of adversity. So, Ben, what were you thinking before you came on on this bus? Like, what, like, what was going through your mind? Like, we've been boys at a long-ass time, and you knew I got this thing rolling. Me and the boy. No, I already told you. I literally, I thought to myself, I've been on hundreds of interviews, and I never have been terrified for

what the hell is going to be asked. And I'm looking over at Taylor. You're like, bro's going to bring the heat. Why is the answer? The dude is witty, man. You've got to come fucking correct. if you want to dance with the devil. Because Will knows if he hasn't asked anything wrong that Amy can be on a dance. Hey, it's that thunder.

You probably, you probably heard that. I mean. You said if I say anything wrong, Amy's going to be on my ass? Yes, it'll be relatively tame. Yeah? Will? It depends. I don't know what your guys' relationship is like.

Will might just be in a little box today. But you might come out of the shell. No, I'm ready to go. No, he always cuts it to me real. Yeah, I always try to chirp Ben because he's a, he's a performance coach. He's an author. He does motivation. informational speaking.

So I always ask them all the time. Like, yo, Ben, like, you never played football. So how do you motivate football players? That's a chirp and actually a question. Like, you know, you walk into some of these locker rooms, the teams have you on, like bam and all them. They bring you in, K-State, and they want to, they lean to you for inspiration or motivation like these coaches do.

And then you walk into a room with a bunch of, you know, football players, dogs that are going to look at you, as you know, an author, somebody who hasn't played. They wonder what the hell is this guy even going to give us? Well, I think you know this, is that if I go into Alabama, within the first five minutes, they're going to hear my mom's story, they're going to hear the challenge adversity I went through with my dad.

Parents divorced when I was six months old, right, knowing that my mom passed away, then my dad had his issues, and they know that, like, I've been through shit in my life. And that's the goal that I have, no matter what group I'm in front of sports or business, like it's real life. And so whether I,

how many downs of football I played, which was freshman year high school. Then it was just basketball. Solid. Solid. Freshman team. The whole thing is they realize I've been through some shit in my life

and I've been blessed to have mentors and coaches to get me up off that mad of life. And then I always say, now, that's my story, but I know everybody's sitting in this room, you have a story too. And it's helping them realize, like, I know you've been through your shit. I've been through my shit.

So if we can't connect there, there's really no work for us to do. There's really no motivation to come from until I can figure out what's in your heart, what's the fire that lies inside of you or the burn, as you know, I like to call it, It's going to cause you to get up on those days you don't want to do anymore.

Right. You want to talk about, in a nutshell, your mom's story? Yeah. I mean, I think about it every day, you know. You know, we all have a story. We all have challenge and adversity. And for me, I had to grow up fast because my mom was diagnosed with a rare muscle disease. 1983 was the year.

I was five years old when she was diagnosed. She goes to a hospital in Boston. everybody in their muscles, they have amyloids. So Taylor, you have amyloids, Will's got them, I've got them. If you have an excess of amyloids, you have a disease called amyloidosis. Amyloid slowly eat away at your muscles and you die. There's no cure for the disease. So my mom goes to Boston, meets with a woman by the name of Dr. Martha Skinner.

Dr. Skinner tells her you've got two to four years to live, and you're only the second woman under 40 years old I've ever seen or heard of having this disease amelidosis. And my mom, greatest prize fighter I've ever met in my life, my mom takes out an old journal and she starts writing and allowed that to become the place where she unleashed her positive mental attitude onto the world and she wrote, beat the statistics, beat the odds, live with the

disease that is chronic and fatal, believe in yourself, combat anything, purpose in life. And she showed up every night, as I've told you so many times, my mom would come to the dinner table with an IV stand when we had 24-hour nursing care in the house to ask me how my day was at school. So it's like when I get hit with something in life, it's like you better come with some serious heat and some serious fire

if you think you're going to break me. Because with what I've seen with these two eyes, and one of the special moments I have with my mom's story, because she taught me how to live, she taught me how to fight, she taught me how to rise up when you don't want to do it. And she passed away 11 days before my eighth birthday, but I continue her fight all the time. I share her story. You are only the second person that has touched. You were actually the first, and then I actually, I shared it this year with one speaking engagement, but you were the first person that I let up in. Remember when I took out the journal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Up in her. So we have this moment.

I keep my mom's journal in the safe at home. And it was, I think, before your second season, where we knew, like, you were really starting to make moves and things were really starting to take place. And I said, man, I said, I want to show you something. When we go up to the office because you always come over and stay at the house, and I pulled out the journal and just gave it to him. And you just sat there.

Like, there aren't many things that make you speechless. And he's like, bro, I don't know what to say. Yeah. And just, like, touching this journal, because he and I become so close. And then to touch that journal that's been my life's testimony, it was just wild for me to be able to to share that. And they're like looking at handwriting

and stuff like that. It's just kind of... Yeah, knowing that was back in, what did you say, 1983? She passed away November 2nd, 1986. But 1983 was when she was diagnosed. So she made it three years. And what was going on? Your dad was having issues too back then?

I mean, to where you had to kind of, you talk about growing up fast. Like, yeah, you had that stuff going on with your mom, but also your dad was, you know, had his issues to where you had to be, you're the... I'm the... youngest. You're the youngest. Yeah, so my older brother, yeah, so my mom passes away. Dad moves back into the house and, you know, he had issues with addiction. He had all types of stuff. I'm now

coming home as an eight-year-old boy and you think dad's napping on the couch, but, you know, he's just, he's had his day. And so that's by eight years old, right? And thankfully, you know, my dad turned that challenge into a great example for me that you can also fight through anything because nine months later he realized like, man, I can't live this way. I can't have kids. And, you know, my dad has been a great example that... What were the things he was doing? Drugs and alcohol and, you know, stuff that is challenging and tough. And so finally he got sober and he's literally been sober ever since. So nine months after my mom died to now. Was he, was the reason why, like, not the reason, but it was part of that reason because of all

the struggles you to go through with your mom and everything like that? So they were divorced when I was six months old. So I think what it was, though, was other issues my dad has had, that it was such a hard life that I think he just, he turned to that. And part of everybody's wired different. You know what I mean? I mean, there's people who can, right, we can have our bourbons, we can have fun, and people can handle it. And there's other people. It's a disease. No question.

Yeah, it's a disease. Yeah. It's crazy. I mean, anything can really become an addiction if you let it, whether it's video games, I mean, sugar is such an addictive product that I've little have had people argue with me about that. No, sugar's not addictive. It's not addictive. It's absolutely an addictive thing. You can't just look at this addiction as, you know, just drugs or alcohol. Those are the easiest things to point out.

But you can turn so many things into, you know, addiction, even things that are good. for you. You know, if you're working out all the time, wherever, you don't, you still have to go out and live your regular life, too, and stuff like that. But those types of things, especially, like, you know, drugs and alcohol, those are very difficult to go through. And it's so easy for people that don't do with those issues to look and say, well, it's not that big, just stop doing it. Just stop doing it. You're fine. Well, I mean, if you drink, your, your brain is chemically imbalanced. It's a depressant. You feel shitty when you get off it. What's the easiest thing to do? We still have a couple more. A little hair of the dog, they always say. A little hair of the dog

that bitch you a little bit of that and you start compounding those things on top of each other and you become you become codependent on those things and so it's a very it's a hard and you know windy road and it can definitely put you into a spiral if you let it and that goes for drugs too not just illegal drugs but you know prescription drugs and all that those stuff I mean I'm very open with the fact that like I've I mean I've been giving prescription drugs before like rolling ankle or something like that and you know you don't you don't feel better there's no way you feel better than when you're on one of those pills. They make you feel amazing.

But it comes with those, you know, the repercussions the next day you're a little more, you're a little more agitated. You're a little more slippery slow. It is a slippery slow. But it's realizing. And I think the biggest thing that people need to understand is the biggest, best thing you do for yourself is sit with yourself and understand who you are and going through that process.

The best process is not to say, well, I am this person. It's figuring out who you are not. And then shaving that down, process of elimination, to finding out. who you are and then growing from that. Those are the best ways to become like, you know, not, you know, so needing drugs or needing alcohol, you can really just kind of dependent. Yeah, that's the word I'm looking for. So it's definitely a slippery slope.

It's hard for a lot of people. You bring up an interesting point that drugs, alcohol, anything in life, it's the way people think about things. Right. And you and I have had so many great conversations about it. But how you think about things determines how you show up. Right. Right.

It's your belief system for everything, right? You've done what you've done, playing in. in the NFL. You've done what you've done play, because you believed you would play in the NFL. You believe you'd stand across from another man and you would freaking punish him over and over. That's a belief system. So then your work shows up that way. People aren't in touch enough with the fact that you've got to be truthful with yourself. You've got to look in the mirror and say, I either believe I will absolutely dominate any man that's in front. I will punish everybody in front of me or you're going to have doubts. And you can't have both. You get one of the other. And people have to be truthful with themselves. And I know there's a lot of people watching.

They're not professional athletes, right? And so for you in your life, you got to show up. You got to be truthful about why you are where you are. And if you're not where you want to be, you got to look at yourself, say, what am I willing to change? And you got to work harder in another area. Otherwise, you're probably going to fall short of what you actually want. Yeah, no doubt.

It's tough because if you play sports, it's the easiest way to figure out, okay, where am I at? Like, you can figure out, if I get my ass kicked, okay, I know, I need to do, I need to work on X, Y, and Z. Life, it's not as black and white. It's, you got to, you know, you got to read, you got to educate yourself. You got to see, you got to find your own. deficiencies in yourself. What it makes me insecure? Why are these things making me insecure and working on those things? And I mean, that's the best part about football is it's such a competitive sport. It'll

tell you where you're at right then and there. And so, I mean, that's a big reason why I'm so confident is that football's helped me learn to be a confident person, not just that, but also like when you have an issue with something, instead of if hiding from you, you got to take it head on. And if you don't go and attack it right there, I mean, if I don't do something in the first 15 minutes of learning about something, I let it get the best of me, which is a really difficult thing sometimes. Right. But figuring out, like you guys are saying, the self-awareness factor and then figuring out those weaknesses and then, okay, how do I supplement those weaknesses if I can't do them on my own? Us with our diets, all of us, you know, live well, eat well, stuff like that. If you know you're

struggling in another area, you know, that's why we ended up meeting up and going over psychological stuff, mental trainings and things that kind of like you kind of try and brainwash yourself like a young rookie. That's how we met. We met over Twitter. So I got to tell them the story. I mean, everybody's got to be a Twitter story. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, so we meet over Twitter because we had a mutual friend. We didn't know each other. All my work had been in the corporate world. So I started speaking in 2006, coaching 2008, started books. And actually, the first talk I ever gave in sports with my old high school basketball team in 2011 when the coach called. So I'd done a little bit in sports,

but not a lot. Never worked with a professional athlete. Yet I had these six mental training tools for the business side. For sales, for sales. Yeah, for people in sales and business, performance. And I was like, man, these will work in sports too. And so Will and I get connected. And it was like, he's like, yeah, I'm going to, through the relationship, I'm going to trust this guy and I'm going to sit down with him.

I had never used these, right? So it's like, well, see if this works in the world of sports. And Will was in between the month of OTAs because he had just been signed as an undrafted free agent by the Redskins. And it was right before he was reporting for training camp. And I remember sending you that message after we can. I'm like, hey, man, you want to get together and talk mental toughness, right? So I had a belief, hey, man, this is going to work with this guy.

And then he was like, yeah, let's get together. Let's do it. So we met every Monday for a month. Man, the first time we meet, he sits down, we're sitting across in a booth. I said, man, what's on your mind? And he says, um, young will, man. I said, what's on your mind? So it's 2013.

What's on your mind? He says, you know what? If it doesn't work out with the Redskins, there's 31 other teams. I knew I had his ass, right? I mean, the moment he said that, I knew it was game over. These principles are going to work, right? So I looked at him and I said, wait a second, man. I said, I know we're just meeting for the first time.

I'm going to take all his money. I got to ask you a question. I got to ask you a question. What happens if every day you start waking up and you tell yourself, I'm a linebacker with the Washington Redskins? And if you doubt yourself in the middle of the day, you tell yourself, I'm a linebacker with the Washington Redskins. And before you go to bed, you tell yourself, man, I'm a linebacker with the

Washington Redskins. Now, bear in mind, he's seventh out of seven on the depth chart, right? They got his Alfred Morris camp jersey. number 46, wait for when he gets to camp. And he looked at me and he says, you know what? He goes, I'm going to start saying that every single day. And he basically, at that moment, he snapped his fingers. Like you said, 15 minutes, you got to make a decision.

And bang, he believed in it. Do you still say every day that you're the linebacker for the Washington Redskins? No, I don't. Do that anymore? I don't. I do have goals. Oh, Ben. That Ben has helped me a lot.

Like, I would go to Montaaroni and he's in St. Louis. And we would meet in the middle and just sit down for, like, what, an hour or two? and, you know, he would have stuff for me to do. Like, I read a couple, like, mental books. So I was, like, obsessed with, like, mental psychology stuff. You know how it gets. Yeah, no question. You get motivated and you get ready to go.

And he wanted to, he reached out, wanted to help me. And I knew he spoke and did other things. So I was like, yeah, that'd be awesome. I'd be honored to sit and, you know, come up with a plan. Because, again, you're like, you're intimidated. And then you go through OTAs and you're an undrafted guy, and you figure out, like, these guys don't know me at all like I thought they would coming from Nebraska.

Because I was in Nebraska and you're like, all these coaches, whoever gets me into a camp, all I need to do is get into a camp. And these coaches, they already know me, like, Bo and them do it with Nebraska. And they're going to think, oh, we got this guy. We got a diamond in the rough. They didn't get drafted. You get there and you realize, like, yeah, you're probably going to not going to make this team. You're on the bottom of every depth chart, bro.

I'm talking, there was two of us undrafted rookie free agents, and he was playing before me. Like, I was, like, there was three units and I just got to mix him with the third unit every now and then. and he wanted to meet and we met and I was kind of like nice and brainwashed going into camp. So you said I want to meet with Will first. I sent a message to him and then he said, yeah, man, let's do it. He reached out.

He's like, yo, I love that you're in the... I said something about mental training. Yeah. I can't wait to get home and get him to some book or something like that. And he reached out. I said, yeah, let's meet. Let's meet halfway.

And then I went into camp. Well, hold on before. I got to mention this. Because I think this is for everybody because you had mentioned some of us, right? We're not in sports, right? Right. And so if you remember, he was a Catholic.

at Nebraska, right, number 12 all-time tackles. So it's like, I knew this guy could play some ball. Yeah. So I said to him, I said, man, I said, what made you a captain of Nebraska? Tell me all the things that were 100% in your control that you did, right? And we just broke it down. He's like, man, I studied more film than anybody else. Man, I was in the playbook more than anybody else.

I was on top of my nutrition. And all these things he could control. So I just asked it back to him. I said, what happens if you show up that same way with the Redskins? I said, what if you're another coach breaking down game film as a rookie? I said, focus on all these things you can control. and it made him reconnect back to that confidence. Like, I am that same dude.

I am going to go. And it doesn't matter where they tell me I am on a depth chart because I used to tell him, don't worry about where they tell you are in a depth chart. Worry about taking somebody's job when you get there and absolutely dominate, lock in one day at a time. You win one day at a time. It's going to take care of itself. And those are the conversations we had.

And then he followed through with the action. And I think for anybody listening, you can either say, oh, I have no idea what it's going to take to be successful or you go find out. Or you look at your past success. and say, am I actually willing to consistently do those things over and over and over again to keep having success? So you're the one who decided, man, I'm going to choose the action I take, and you just showed up different than the kid who was like, man, I don't make it, it'll be all right. The boys in the boys goes back early and I'm in the film room and I'm literally game planning our offense for training camp for like those few plays I might get to be out there because you're like, okay, you can't fuck up if you get an opportunity. Well, a good, you know, fortunately for me, some luck played into it.

Keenan, who was a draft pick the year before in like the fourth round, Kenan Robinson, he's a stud player. He gets hurt and tears his peck on day one of training camp. So immediately I go from seventh and rotating with the third unit to now I can just get to be with the threes. And then the guy who was undrafted in front of me, Jeremy Kimbrough, he moves up with the second unit. He hurts his hamstring in that first week. So I immediately get thrusted to go with the twos. And the boy has a day one day where I had like two picks.

and stuff like that, to where I got to be with the second unit in preseason. So luck, like, all this stuff kind of happens, and definitely that helped, like, knowing all that stuff and you're going in, like, you know, I'm going to show out, the few plays I do get. But fortunately, fortunately, on a personal level for me, a couple guys go down in front of you,

which is what happens. Ribble said on, you know, when he was on the podcast, the injury at the NFL's 100%, so you better be ready for your opportunity. These are going to go down all the time. Yeah. People will probably listen to that when you're expanding, like, well, what a dick, like he's unfortunate things for me,

like people got hurt. Like, that's just the way it is. That's just the way it is, man. Because a lot of times in the NFL, it's not how good you are. It's not how to, like, it's sometimes, I hey, this guy's our guy, and that's what it is. Sorry. And you're going to have to go on a different team. And that's just how it works.

And there's really no right or wrong, like, rhyme or reason, but it is what it is. And, like, it just, when stuff starts clicking, like, you do take advantage of that kind of stuff. And then when that guy goes down, and you know how it is, is that next man up mentality. It's like when you're out last year, who was Dennis Kelly who comes in after you, right? Yes. So Dennis didn't actually end up getting hurt, too. so the first game of the season,

I got knocked out. We had the longest game in NFL history, but against the Miami Dolphins, there was so much rain and thunder and lightning. So I ended up getting knocked out right after the second half, right after the first half in the third quarter. So I was out the next week, Dennis was starting at left tackle. Dennis ended up having a situation.

I'm not going to talk about his stuff because it's not, that's the number one. Right, right. I never talk about people's injuries. So, like, Ray, Dennis had his thing. So now we had our third tackle and Jack was out too. But the third tackle they brought in. He wasn't even on the team.

Yeah, Jack, Jack was hurt. He was coming back from his injury. I get hurt. So our starters are out. Dennis is now starting. He gets his situation on Wednesday or whatever that week. He's out. So we're playing the Houston Texans with our fourth and fifth tackle.

Right. And it's like, it's just wild. Who were they? Who were the tackle? Kevin Pamphile. Kevin Pamphile or Pamphill. I don't remember who was starting at right. And he either got activated or brought him back on the team, right?

Tyler Merritt. He, Tyler did such a great job, dude. He came in and he was a stuck because I got hurt in Buffalo too, and he came in and held his own against Jerry Hughes. But, yeah, like, Tyler's that kind of dude, too. Like, kind of, he's been lucky enough to be with the Titans. I think he's going to his fourth year.

Right. But it's kind of like you, like, he's behind me and Jack and Dennis. And, like, he's kind of like on that bubble every single year. He's got that stress. Like right now is going to be the most stressful time of the year. figuring out what's going on. He handles it so well. He's a pro man. He really handles his stuff as a pro. But we went into that game and it's like Kevin Pamfield we picked up from Tampa Bay. He was on the team for six months. He was starting. And then Tyler's been on

the team for three years, but he's never played. He's ever played in a real game. And now he's dressing and playing. It's just wild how things just happen. Yeah. Yeah. And it happens that fast. And no one gives a shit like how you get there at all. Like the head coach and they'll look at you like, hey, you're up at your time. Like your name's the one being said. meetings now and you sit there with that like nervous feeling like yo i got to go out there and i got to go out there and ball now like it doesn't matter that i am i was a fourth guy or people are going back oh you know he made a mistake because he was a four stringer he's like no you got a you got to you got you got to perform or you'll get your ass will get cut they don't expect any any drop

off like there's some elite dudes that like when then you they go down you're just like fuck man like your quarterback goes down yeah for sure shit or like you got i don't know why receiver like it's a big time dude you're like you can't really replace those right there's going to be a little bit would drop it if like things just happen man and they expect you to play just as well as when you're a starter yeah the start yeah and then when you're like that young cat or you're you're finally getting an opportunity like you know that might be your only opportunity you get because if you're so you're a lower rounder undrafted guy you might only get one shot if you're higher you might get a couple like slap on the wrist and get a few extra chances because you're

you know that's why they drafted you but when you're on that lower cuff man if you don't if you don't take advantage when you do get when your name is called like it's like okay he didn't work out, get him out of here. But if you do work out, it's like, oh, we found somebody. We got lucky. Oh, it's our scouting department. Like, yeah, this is us. We found him. But if not, it's like, oh, he didn't work out. We figured. Yeah, there's definitely not a shortage of people that want to play in the NFL. That's for sure. Yeah. No doubt. But if you're, like, I don't know, the NFL is one thing. And I feel like talking to full-up plays. I mean, I've sat in so many rooms and motivational speakers have come in and, you know, nine times out of ten, I get pretty hyped. I'm easily

because I love watching those motivational videos. I should read more. I'm going to read more. We send them to each other. I need to. Yeah, we do. Because I'm all about that. Like, I love, I love, like, I just love the idea of, like, being great. You know what I'm saying? I love, like, all that kind of stuff. I'm watching those videos and reading the stuff about it. And Taylor, like, to give you guys kind of start for interrupting.

But Taylor will, like, get hype in the morning, right? Well, because we work out together. And it'll, like, send me, say it's like a Conne McGregor or something about law of attraction or something Joe Rogan said. Yeah, that's a huge thing. So, like, he'll, like, send it, you know, and it'll just get you hype. So that's, like, what he's talking about when he says he gets super into that. Yeah. But you can't be just like, you know, if it's football players, it's easy.

You feel you put a video, a couple of guys making some big hits. Those are high depth. They go out play football. Like, what's the difference between like football players? And then when you go into like a Fortune 500 company and you've got to go and talk to these people that have been suits their whole life. Since birth, they've been suits. But for me, it's actually the same principles and the same lessons, right? It's finding somebody's burn.

It's finding somebody's motivation. It's finding the actual reason why they want to do the work. And if you find the reason why somebody wants to do the work. and why somebody wants to do the work, they're going to go do the work. Right. And then it's holding them accountable to it. And it's very similar. There's business people who they want you to get them all fired up, right?

There's sales teams. I may go give a sales talk and they're like, can you bring the heat like some of those locker room videos we've seen? Yeah. And then, you know, there's some athletes who are like, bro, if you bring anything like that, like don't ever leave me a voicemail again to hype me up for a game. No way. Yeah.

There's some NFL players like the messages to them, it's very chill. It's, you know, it's a poison confidence type message. It's more laid back. And then there's other guys like, man, if you're going to be. going to leave me a voicemail, you better bring it. Otherwise, don't leave me a message. So it's the same way, right, because there's going to be guys in the business world who were former athletes, right? Maybe they played high school football. Maybe they played college. To me, we all have that adrenaline and everybody lights that adrenaline up differently. So I believe my goal is I got to connect

with somebody and figure out what do they like, what motivates them. And once I find that, man, I'll go get it. Right. And so I think that's like we will, one of the things we'd have like maybe key words, right? I mean, there's so many different things. I mean, once you'd hone in on something I'm like, you'd say it to him, and he would just be ready to go. Yeah. And there were almost times he was like, I would be like, that message was too long for you, wasn't it? Like, you just need to be to like, say this.

Because we've become so close like brothers. He's just like, bro, like that. Just give me the three words. That's all I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't need the whole paragraph stuff. You give to everybody. Just give it to me straight.

Yeah, yeah. To me straight. Will is, I got to hate complimenting the boy, but here we go. Will is definitely, without a doubt, I want to be hardest. Like, Will wants to be great so bad. And it's not just like my whole, like, since I got a scholarship offer, I talk all the time. I got an offer from Utah State Springball going into my senior year. And I, as soon as I got an offer from them, I was like, I'm going to the NFL.

Like, that's it. And people are like, well, and then, you know, I don't know, it's not. I'm going. That is it. It's done. And I never had a plan, a plan B. It was always like, well, I'm going to the NFL. I'm going to the NFL.

I'm going to the NFL. Will has done such a great job of making his dreams come true of going to the NFL, working so hard, becoming a captain, one of the other captain of Redskins, right? Yeah. Doing those types of things. but the whole time, I'll get in his car, and he's listening to some damn podcast about real estate. And he's listening to a podcast about, you know,

how to diversify your portfolio, so your money grows. But it was like, this dude just like, want, he just wants it, whatever that is. And it's very admirable to see.

I appreciate that, yeah, fuck yourself. And you're going to, and that's it. Yeah, I'm leaving a podcast. Well,

he doesn't, he doesn't realize that, that he inspires the hell out of me, too, right? So it's, I may be able to, we'll still do this. Yeah. I love him, man.

I'll take his stuff. Hey, it's iron. It's iron sharpens iron, but I mean, he definitely motivates me. His story, his belief, his fight. I mean, all kinds of crazy stuff. The only issue I've ever had with Will is when we first started speaking together, getting his ass off the stage. Because we went to Nebraska, and it's like,

I don't know how you get the mic out of his mouth. I'm glad you get to speak every now and again. Because I'd get him, I remember the one time we went to that military university, right? And he's all these troops. And I think he's fired up because he's speaking to the troops, right? And it was, I think we each had 20 minutes. you know, so he's got 20, I've got 20, he goes first. We're like 35 minutes in.

I'm like, bro, I just want to like thank him for their show. I got to say hi, I guess. Yeah, we got to get you off the stage. And then he's like, did I go too long? And I'm like, yeah, you took the whole time. So I'm glad you've taught him. He's got to share, you know what I mean? I don't think I'm taught him anything.

I just talk, I just talked about him. Well, I always tell him, you know, there's three boys in the family. I say, this is the only family I've ever met where literally like, you're like the only child, yet there's three children. You know what I mean? He doesn't share. He doesn't do any of that stuff. No, he's a terrible share.

He's awful at it. But that's going through a little phase where he's shit on Will. He's actually a terrible person. He's actually a terrible person. I don't really think about it. When you get down under any degree. But how, like, so you are where you are now, but it all started somewhere. Like, you get done with Michigan State. Why, like, why all of a sudden are you now being told or asked to speak?

Why are you now in these rooms? Like, where did it start? Where did it come from? Because you worked in Northwestern Mutual, correct? Yeah, I was a financial advisor over 10. years and yeah I mean I had a great run you know on that professional side of things but you know what I always look at the tough stuff I've been through and how I responded that defines the person that you become right so if it wasn't enough my mom and my dad and all these things I was a paper broker in

Chicago I was engaged for 13 hours to my college sweetheart right had I gone to Michigan maybe it would have worked out yeah I'll tell you what man you see your motivational speaking I just can't even imagine like someone coming from Michigan State like you had to be I feel like the only motivation is getting the hell out of there, right? Like, you have to think of yourself, man, like, that's probably when you knew. Hey, man, my mom, my dad, but I got the fuck out of this call. And now you're going to be, I'm really happy for you. I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for you coming this far. Oh, God. So, engaged 13, that won't be the end of it either, now that he's opened it up. So engaged 13 hours, thank God she told me no. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the life that I have. Heck, I go back to the first time I was invited to speak, right? I got paid 500 bucks. And I'm like, this is a thing.

And then like after that, I would get coffee cups, you know, and then you got to come home and tell your wife like, hey, I got a coffee cup to speak. She's looking like, how the hell is that going to pay the bills? Right, right, right. And I go to San Diego and they give you this beautiful picture book and everybody signs it, yet they paid my expenses. Right. So like, you live in this land where here's my dream. Here's where I know I can get to. And everybody always asked me, they're like, you work for Alabama football.

You work for Kansas State. You've worked for Microsoft. Like, how did you start? I'm like, well, I didn't start there. Right. Everybody wants that. And, you know, you hop on. social media these days, and everybody's an author, everybody's a speaker. And I wish the best

to everybody because I'm an abundant guy, right? But you got to put in the work. And everybody wants the end result. Nobody wants to do the work. And it's like, look, I hope you do become a great speaker. I hope you do write books, but have a willingness to do the work. Right. So I spoke, what did I tell you? I spoke to my high school basketball team. That was my first work in sports. I've gone back for eight years still giving back to my high school basketball team because I love my coaches. They've helped me become the man that I am today, right? You've met them. You've come back to my high school. So it's all those little things. things that you have a willingness to do because there's passion and you got a fire inside of you

to go do it rather than focusing on money focusing on the results and most people don't want to do the work these days that's whatever that's what everyone wants a quick fix everyone wants to just be rich and they want to be famous and all of this it's like it's we talked about on a podcast before it's like people see the results of what football is done for us not the hard work that we put in right to get the result of football like you know Sundays are great but there's camp there's working out there's literally no off season you have to go you get your couple weeks of vacation but you're working out all the time trying to stay on top of it. Me and Will are always talking about nutrition. We're talking about our workouts and all that stuff accumulates over time. And it's like,

you know, there's a lot of, you always see those little motivational posters and it's like a guy cat hanging from a branch. And it's like just keep on going or whatever. But then you see like the iceberg and it like shows the tip of the iceberg of success. But you see all they're built like how you build everything and people don't see all the hard work you put in. Then you have the tip of the iceberg, which is like what everybody actually wants. But anything anything worth having or doing you have to work for. But here's the crazy thing you give that iceberg example. Here's the wildness.

And sometimes I like to be more direct just to like shake up the listeners to realize what we're talking about here. They see that and they still don't see what's beneath the water. Like they literally see it. And it's like somebody didn't just like that's actually how you get there, right? Like you want to see the reps that Taylor's put in. You want to see the footwork that he's put in. You want to see the number of hours that Will's put in. All the stuff that's below.

And you could put that, they don't see it. All they still see is the iceberg. It's like people fight the fact that like you have to work in order to get the things that you want. Yeah, that's, I, I couldn't say any better. Do you, do you ever like watch guys like? Will I appreciate that, thank you. Yeah, couldn't say any better, boys. Do you ever watch guys like Tony Robbins or Eric Thomas, like those motivational speakers

and like take things from them, learn things from them or anything like that? So I like to learn from everybody. I mean, I read books like crazy. Eric Thomas and I actually hung out for a couple days at Bama training camp last year, which was a great time. And what I pay attention to is how does he, interact with people. Right. Right. So yeah, I heard his talk. His talk was great, but like, how does he interact with people? Yeah, great speaker. But like watching him, you know, we'd be eaten and we'd be

eaten with the players. How's he interacting with the play? That's the stuff I want to see. Like, how do you treat people? How do you deal with people? What are the questions that you ask? And he's engaging with guys, right? So it's like, if I meet somebody, like, I'd want to know, Taylor, what makes you great? I want to hear like, what did you do to get to where you are? Like, I want to learn when you meet somebody. So those are the things I look for. And of course, I mean, the moment you stop growing, you're done, right? I mean, if you just say, oh, I've made it to this point. And we always talk about the seduction of success, you can't be seduced by success, right? You have to have that belief and pass. I mean, it's standard over feelings, which is what I learned from him.

We can clear this up. What do you mean by that? You can't be seduced by success. So Will taught me something called standard over feelings. I got that from Tony Robbins. Okay. So standard over feelings. So, and then I came up with seduction of success. right? So as he kind of took me through this, I said, all right, well, from what I've seen, the people I've shared the stage with, the people that I've learned from, books I've read, the highest performers are not seduced by success. So the moment that you have achievement, you actually crave more. You realize, like, because of that achievement, that makes me realize what I can. I'm going to go get? I'm going to go get. I'm going to go get. And most people, let's give sales, right, business world. They sell something great yesterday. They sell something great yesterday. They walk into the office, man, I'm not going to dial the phone for like a week. I may not dial the phone. You see that commission check I'm going to get. And the next thing you know, three months later, they're like, what happened? of my business. And you're like, dude, you didn't work for three months. Now we average out that big commission over three months. It's average. And then they're upset. What happened? You got seduced by your success rather than realizing that's the moment where you really grow. If I don't define myself by that check and I say, man, I can get after it again tomorrow.

And then you say, how can I get better tomorrow? And that becomes a cycle. You do it over and over and over again. That's grit. You know, that's conviction, passion, perseverance, getting after it one day at a time. That's how you become great. Yeah. Is that's definitely it no no that's no that's that's what no that's that's what's that's what said i like the seduction of success because it's all about the whole standard over feelings the thing that i learned from tony robins listen to all his youtube stuff um you have this standard like me personally like when i listen when i listen to that whatever he was talking it's like okay will compton what do i want to be okay i want to be a pro bowl linebacker what is a pro bowl okay

you start with the end in mind so okay it's it's pro bowl right i want to be great i want to be a great linebacker. What does a great linebacker do on a daily basis? And it's that standard you write out for yourself because day one, Will Compton, when we're motivated and in the offseason and we're about to go day one, the boy gets in town and we're ready to go day one, that same Will Compton is not going to feel the same as day 30, Wilcompton. Day 30 will start having his feelings. Like, you wake up, you might want to snooze that alarm extra more times. We might want to take a day off. But if you you have that standard written out of what the Pro Bowl version of Will Compton looks like and what is a pro baller doing on a daily basis, how does he eat, how does he talk to him?

what does he listen to? What is he reading? And how does he go about his life compared to if you just go by your feelings all the time? You're going to wake up. You're going to, you feel sorry here. I'm a little more sore today. I'm going to eat this food. I'm going to eat these treats or desserts. I'm going to, you know, talk to myself in a feeling sorry way. Like, okay, you put all this work in yesterday. You get seduced a little bit by that success. And you don't continue to live out that standard that you wrote for yourself on day one. That's why I think it's super important to write things down because you see it and you remind yourself, okay, this is where I was when I was super motivated compared to how I'm feeling now in the dog days of a season or a

training camp and stuff like that. So that's why I like the whole standard over feelings mantra. The unfortunate thing is a lot of times people do have success and they're not going to want success again until they have that failure next. Yeah. They'll go and they'll, this is so great. And then you think you're so great. And then all of a couple of things happen and you're like, oh, maybe I'm not so good. You feel sorry for yourself, then take it up. Right. Make yourself, it makes you appreciate what the success actually was that day to day.

Absolutely. And then overcoming that, your character is built through how you respond in adversity. Right? Like, yeah, we're all going to be successful at certain periods of time. But like you just say, like, you're going to get humbled. You're going to get kind of shaken a little bit. But how you respond is ultimately who you were in the first place. You just needed to realize that, you know, my shit isn't what I thought it smelled like all the time.

Right. And then you overcome that, and then you're even more of a fucking badass. More of a fucking wolf, I guess. But I've always believed that if you put in the hard work, then you're prepared when the bad stuff happens. And if you don't put in the work, you're not prepared. And a lot of that is the mental side, right? That's the big difference is the mental side. Because maybe a young guy does come in, right?

All of a sudden, he's pushing you. But then it's your mental belief in yourself. It's the push. It's all those reps. That starts to come out. It's that belief. And you're like, I don't care who this guy is. I don't care what the position is.

Nobody's taking anything away from me because I own this. Right. Right? And it's just a different level of belief that comes out, man, that fire lights up in your eyes and you can just, I mean, you just attack it. We're getting super motivated in this pod right now, boys. I always wonder about that. Like, you just put up a good point. Like, I was wondering, like, when is it going to be the point where someone does come in? And they will not challenge me, but so they do draft a left tackle. And they do have like, okay, this is the guy that's going to take over Luan's spot. He's getting old. He's this, that. Like, I wonder how I'm going to, hopefully, like, I always think about that. I hope I handle that with poise. and I hope I like I help that guy because when I came in I didn't get a lot of help from the older guys and so I had to go do it on my own and I do hope that when the guy comes in

whoever that person might be hopefully he's in elementary school right now like he comes and I let me let me take you to do this like this is how I learned to be a better play this is that but still like obviously play like that I think that's the difference like being motivated isn't like you know knocking someone down to take a step up it's if you help every go up, like being, the best time you learn is when you're teaching. So I'm helping that person, whoever he is, you know, hopefully he's in diapers and I'll be able to handle a while that time. He calls himself a new dad.

If he called himself Newdale, we have to fight. Yeah, that's funny. See everything at the window right there. I don't know if you guys have shared this yet, if you talk much about London Fletcher, but exactly what you're describing is exactly how London Fletcher treated you. Yeah, for sure. London Fletcher, I just remember the stories you told me of, you know, he would literally wait in the hot tub.

he'd be waiting and you would chat and you'd ask him questions and he'd answer. And the reality was, like, he was on his last legs. He was finishing his career and he could have been like, why am I going to get this kid? He knows he's a Hall of Famer. And he knows he's, I mean, why would I talk to this kid? Like, why am I going to give him any bits and pieces of wisdom? It's way easier to be that guy when you know you're going to be a Hallfammer or you know, like you've hit the top.

It's those guys that, you know, had some success, was kind of consistent in that area, but never really, I think, did it big. But London, London was always that. Dude, I know, I know, I know, I know you're, saying because literally you're saying that and I'm kind of thinking like I was it was hard sometimes to step out of my zone and help Rishan right because I was kind of like it's not like I know I'm going to be some whole of famine I've already done what I've done in the NFL it's like I knew they drafted a guy in the first round I signed here to challenge and have a role on the team yeah but

you can say that to be humble but I remember last year when we talked and you were helping you were helping yeah yeah no I definitely I definitely helped him there's no doubt in my mind that he's just go battle you like. Oh, absolutely. Yes, absolutely. Right. Like you're saying they're like, do I want to, do I want to fully help him because I want to play the spot he's playing?

Yeah, but to me, to me, this, now you're talking about what legacy is, right? So you didn't want to do it, but you did it. Something tells me if you ever get that feeling, you may not want to do it, but you just vocal, you're going to do it. Yeah, I'm going to do it. And then you're going to be home and you're going to be texting that guy. You're going to be like, bro, man, I had a hell of a run. I love this game.

This game was good to me. And, man, I'm watching what you're doing out there. and you're going to know you're going to have a piece of the next flip of that belief in him that caused him to go on and have a great career. That's what legacy's all about. Yeah. Yeah, it's just crazy how, like, I'm 28 now, so I'm old as fuck.

But I remember being, like, in high school and I remember being, like, my first couple years in college, even the end of college and my first couple years in the NFL thinking, like, this is the only thing that matters. How good, like, how you're known in football. And the older you get, you get married, you start to, you have a kid. Like, you realize, like, just being, you know, your character who you are off the field is the most important thing.

So if I'm, if I'm, if I'm, meet some kid who's trying to take my job and I treat him like an asshole, he's always going to remember me as an asshole. He's never going to remember me for who I know I am or how I treat my friends. And so that's, that would be more important to me.

I think that would override any egotistical battle, I hope with like, you know, playing the game of football. Like, I want to be this. I want to play 10 more years. I want to do,

like, you know, achieve all these, you know, goals that really at the end of, they don't mean very much. It's a team sport. You know, these individual those don't truly mean as much as you feel that they do when

you're in the moment. Yeah. Is there a moment where that kind of clicked for you and you thought that way? Or is it kind of a combination or was there a conversation with maybe a vet? I know when you were telling me the story about Whitworth and guys you look up to, like, was there ever a moment where you're like, yo, this is, I'm changing my perspective or maybe a drive home in your list of this. My, I think my moment for me was after this last season, the 2018 season, I

I hated football. I really did not like playing the game at all. I was met at the coaches. I didn't get along with my offensive line coach. Me and Vrable got back, got out of a lot. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, I was, I just, I was like, how do, because I told Will when we first met,

I'll play forever. I don't even care. And I, like, I still wanted to play more, but I was also, like, mad about football and all these different things. And what I learned was, is it wasn't any of their fault. It was mine. Like, I was the one that was being a cancer.

I was the one that was self-entitled. Not necessarily, people as it. Like, he wasn't a cancer. I know what you're saying. In your own mind. In my own mind, I guess more than anything, I was a cancer to myself. Right, right. So, like, I wasn't going on the locker room, like, saying a bunch of stuff for anybody who's listening to that.

But what I did do was I did feel a little self-entitled. I signed a big contract and I felt, you know, I deserve this and I deserve that. Why are they treating me like this and not taking on that massive responsibility? I still played well. I had a good season last year. but I didn't really see the responsibility that I had when I signed that big contract. And I thought things were more owed to me than that I actually, you know, I should have been giving instead of receiving. So I'm looking at myself.

I'm in California and I'm sitting there and I'm listening to the ocean. I'm sitting on the beach looking out. And I'm like, it's not, it's not anybody's fault in mind that I'm feeling this way. That resistance I was getting from Brable, he's a great, he's a great coach. And, you know, there's always going to be things that he and I agree and discerning. agree on but at the end of the day like his goal is to make sure a team goes in the right direction and I was causing resistance I was I was dragging them down a little bit in that whether it was in my head or not so having that control having having the understanding of knowing what you can control is

the only thing that actually matters and if someone comes to you if someone killed to me and said fuck you well I know that that that probably has nothing to do with me the words that they said it has more to do everything that's going on with them and I was the guy saying fuck you the whole time because I was, you know, I felt all these things that I thought I deserved when, and reality wasn't real. And so I had to start reading more. I started, you know, I actually, like, had to get off my phone more. I had to, like, start doing things to make myself grow. And now I went in, and these OTAs have been the most fun OTAs. The camp has been the most fun. Like, it's because I'm only focusing on the things of control and accepting the responsibility that I do have on this team.

And so those are, it's always hard to admit, because you never want to be the bad guy or feel like the villain, but it was definitely something that I needed to start taking a hold of of understanding, like, you know, you're in your six, you got to, you got to be a leader. You know, you've got to be a guy that you can't just be dicking around all the time and just be laughing. You got to know, when's a good time to joke? When's a good time to, you know, be serious and finding that balance of stuff like that. And so those things definitely help me kind of realize that it's not as important to have

the accolades and stuff like that. It's more important when I leave this locker room, whenever it is. that these coaches and these players that I play with said, man, Taylor's a good dude. And, like, he cared about the boys. You know, and they'll, their kids will hang out with my daughter and be like, yeah, my dad, my dad, my dad loved your dad. You know, that's the shit.

I was like, man, like, that's so important. It's so important to be, it's not important that how people view you, but it's important to have peace in your own self. Right. You know, people say, don't be so self-centered. I think it's really important to be self-centered. Because what is self-centered? We have the center of yourself, you know,

and understanding, like, who you are. and how what motivates you and your character. So, yeah, it was tough. It was definitely a tough off season for sure. But it's like I'm really grateful once I started to figure it out, really grateful to know that, you know, it's the dislike or displeasure of football is totally within my own hands. Whether it's going on, I'm playing well or not, like it's all that perception, you know?

Yeah. That's why I think here. Hang on. That's why hang out with that motherfucker. Because shit like that. Well, I kind of think I went all over the place too. No, so here's what I can. captured in hearing that, and I would go even just a little bit deeper, is the stories people

are going to tell your daughter about how in year six you flip the switch, where you already have this in you. I mean, I've watched you play. I watched them try to take you off the field and you're coming back on the field. But literally this mentality that you've never approached six seconds of play as intently, as intentionally with as much fires you do now because of your daughter, and because people are going to say you had to scrape Daddy off the field to get him off the field. You had to pull him out of the locker room to get him out of the locker room because he would have done anything for his teammates, whether it was on the field or in the locker room, and it's all about legacy. And I think you flip that switch to having the ability to look your daughter in the eyes,

because the reality is, you're probably not going to be playing 10 years from now, right? Well, probably. Maybe. He's never fucking out. Okay. No problem. Probably it will be, but I'm just scared. But I don't have an ego, right?

But you know what I'm saying? Like, when it comes to your daughter, she may not get to see you in your prime, and your prime is right here. and embrace it like you never have before because your daughter is watching every single move that you make. And that's not what I realize, like with my mom. Like people are like, man, like your mom died 11 days

for your eighth birthday. How do you remember any of this? Man, that's all I had. Right. All I had was 11 days for my eighth birthday. That's it. Right. Right.

So kids pay attention, right? Everybody's watching your behavior. And I think it's an exciting time for you where now that you've made it through that mentally, man, you just watch what happens, right? You'll turn up to a whole other level. The thing is, it's not like the, the blessing and the curse of, like, the mind is it's not just like, oh, I've reached that level and that's it. Like, it's a constant maintenance and constant work at, like, stay on top of those things.

Right. It could be a couple months from now. And if I, if I don't, like, you know, stay reading or, or keep up on, you know, myself or, you know, I always, my wife is such, my wife is so smart. She's so incredibly intelligent and she's, she can break things down. and the story I love telling is when I was in year two after my second season people were talking about replacing me

Matt Neely Keyboard Warriors probably say we gotta get the fuck rid of this guy you know those types of guys listen Matt I'm just kidding Hang on Matt easy Matt Hold on you know that I have Yeah Matt's always been a fan Matt's always been a fan

But I do say that there are big tight and faithful people that wanted me out and I met my wife right at that offseason I met her June 30 July January 31st I proposed her five weeks later and she helped me just like kind of realized the bigger picture. And the one thing that always sat with me is like if your life was like a garden and you have all these different pieces of your life, whether it's social life, your business life,

your family life and all, I give these pots. And if I'm watering the football one all the time, that's great and that one's going to grow. But look at all these other ones dying around it. And if those die, that's going to affect the plant that's living too. And so you got to continuously water all these plants all time and stay on top of it. and kind of checks and balances. You got to watch yourself a little bit. Like, okay, I'm dipping into the negative little over here.

I got to go water that plant for a second. Stay on top of those things. If you're not so anally focused, that's what I was. I was like, I got to do this. I got to do football. I was like strangling myself that was actually holding me back. And once I let go and allowed myself to have a relationship like I do with my wife and socially and everywhere else and a more like a healthy version of all that,

like I've since then I've made three pro polls in a row. And it's just crazy. And I've like, we joke all the time. She goes, she said the first contract, that was yours, but that second contract's mine. And I was like, you're damn right. She's awesome, man. But it does. It definitely puts things in perspective.

And I say that when we talked about earlier how, you know, sometimes you got to fall. Like you have that success. You got to fall to know how good that success tasted. Because my first year, I didn't play the first five games. I still made all rookie team. I was a first round draft. And I felt like I was on top of the world. Well, after that second season, I was like,

I was like, oh, shit. Like, I might be out of the league in a couple years. People are calling for my head. And, like, that motivates you and makes you want to be better. But I know now going through both those, that someday people are going to be, hey, you're too old, bud, you're too old. There's a faster kid out there that's going to take your job.

And if you don't stay on top of it, you know, you could last a year or two longer after that. But eventually it's going to catch up to you, except for Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah. No doubt, man. I think that just kind of is relatable to everybody, that everybody constantly fucking goes through speed bumps, right?

You're sitting there saying that. I'm thinking about my rookie year, like, when I didn't get activated, and I was on Peace Squad the whole year, and when I was, like, really bitter about it and pissed off that, like, when somebody tore their ACL, they went out and got, you know, somebody else to play special teams and not be the backup. And it's like, yeah, I thought you guys were going to activate me.

And, you know, you called me week, every week from week 13 on, he was activated. Coach told him, like, this is it, bro. This is your week. Literally from week 13 on. And I'd be so pissed off. And you would ask if I'm still doing the prize fighter day, like still checkmarking the boxes of the things that kind of got me to where I was.

Was it a Price Fighter Day? So I believe similar to what you just said about water in the plants, I share what I call a Prize Fighter Day. So it's doing things that are personal, professional, athletic, or of service to others. And make sure every day you're checking something on all those boxes that are 100% in your control, putting all your effort in. so you can say I won the day.

And if you can stack winning those days, you can actually have balance in your life, right? And all pro professional football player can have balance, right? Be a hell of a dad, be a hell of a husband, read books and do all those things. Water the right plan. Water the right plans every day. Not go, hey, it's football season.

Don't, I won't read a book. It's football season. I won't hang out with my wife. No, it's, you can do those things if you choose to do them, and that's what he's referring to. I'm still finding that balance, too. Yeah, for sure. Sorry.

For sure. But all I'm saying is, like, you need those people in your life to check you And kind of like you got to look in the mirror like, okay, Will, are you doing these things that Ben asked you about? Like this year when I, you know, when stuff would go down with me and I had that injury and I was out for like four or five weeks and, you know, I wasn't having the most fun either. And kind of taking on my new role of being a guy in the background and kind of just being a camaraderie guy. And then Charles would question me a lot about like you don't think you're just going through a phase or, hey, how's that new book that you were reading? Or I thought you weren't going to, I thought you said you weren't going to eat those things or they kind of just check you.

to make you look in the mirror and realize, like, am I being holding my own self accountable through like these questions? That's why it's so, it's super important to have people in your life that hold you accountable, check you, check up on you, review with you, what's going on. And whether or not you might say something that might be a white lie in the beginning, you're still, I'm standing there brushing my teeth at night knowing, okay, am I really doing these things that they ask me about? They're like, Ben asked me about that, Charles asked me about, like, am I holding myself accountable

in that nature? Or am I just going through a phase and just kind of feeling sorry for myself? So everybody goes through that shit, man. That's why it's important. You are who you surround yourself with. That's why we're around each other all the time. That's why we're always like feeding each other's minds with like with stuff. We have our partners at home.

We have our mentors. You have guys that you want to lean on like, yo, or a younger guy that you want to teach. And you're actually getting something from him even though you don't realize it. Like you're getting something from somebody younger than you that you're giving to and you're just like kind of clinging on to them. It's super important. It's super important. It's, it's, uh, I don't know, man.

People have such a knack for feeling fucking sorry for themselves. It's wild. It's natural. It's human nature. It's crazy how if you just took a moment and learned about yourself five minutes a day, sat there, didn't do anything. And you don't have to cross your legs and say, oh, you know, meditation is in all forms. I could sit here like this for five minutes and just sit myself.

What's bothering me? Why is it bothering me? And the more you learn that, it's not going to be like you're going to have the perfect attitude all the time. But what it does do is if when I do snap, it gives you. me a chance to say five minutes later be like okay why is that bothering well this is going on this stress is on me well i can't let that affect this so i can go and you know diffuse any situation not let it build on top of itself but if you never take the time to learn anything about you you're going to always like blame other people and if you blame other people you're it's it most

the time if you're pointing at somebody else and it's your fault it's probably something you've done right you know that's why it's so it's depression's a huge thing And especially now in 2019, it's so huge because there's so many ways to not sit with yourself. Or it's almost mind not many for people. You can get on social media and sit there on Twitter for hours, Instagram for hours, and you never have to actually check in with the reality that's hurting you in the back end. Yeah. Yeah.

And then one thing leads to another. They keep compounding on top of each other. And then the people start blaming, well, you're just a, you're a football player and you live the best. Like, listen, I've had my own adversity with my family. Like, I've grown up a certain way that, I mean, they're, you know, live and around. So I'm not going to like dive in, you know, on a podcast about it. But, you know, we've had, we've had a lot of issues that I've had, that I've had to

work through. But it's not like, I just came out of the wound with a goal, with a cape on. With an $80 million contract. And there's just nothing that goes on. And we've done it. And we've done it. And when I was stuck it. It's just like, it's like, the more you feel sorry for yourself, the more you're

going to have more things to feel sorry for yourself about. Yeah. So stop, like, stop complaining. People, it's so easy to find things to complain about. And it's really, it's really hard to find things to be happy about. Yeah. It's crazy. If you on your,

if people tell me at a journal all the time, I really do need to start doing it. But if you just say five things a day you're grateful for, the positivity. It's a law of attraction. See,

it's the universe. If you just, if you speak in positive, you speak in a positive tone all the time, it's going to end up that way. But if you're constantly shitting on yourself, whether it's a joke or not, you're going to reap that.

You're going to, yep, it's going to come, it's going to come get you. People got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Yeah. I always talk about the burn, as I mentioned earlier,

and the burn is that, underlying fire that really lights the purpose and the why. Because I think there's a lot of guys talk about purpose and why. And it's like, well, man, I don't really know what those things are. Well, tell me what the burn is. Tell me, like, when you think about this, like taking no action is not on the other side of these thoughts, right? So for me, every day waking up, thinking about my mom. And I actually put together this burn challenge where I encourage people.

Every day, first thing you do, before you check text message, before you do this, wake up and just write out what your burn is in a journal for 30 days. Just write it. sentence, right? One sentence, yeah, one sentence. And I'm on day 22 right now. I don't even need to do this. I've been thinking about my purpose and my burn every day, my whole damn life because of what I had to see. But you're setting an example. And you know how many people they message me on Instagram? Like, what is this? You know? And it's what is this? And then it's like, what is this? It's what nonsense is this. It's what nonsense is this. It's what nonsense is this. It's what nonsense is this. It's what nonsense is this. It's what nonsense is this. It's what you think about. You 100% control your mindset. You can either control your mindset and say, papers wrote about me, paper said this, paper to that, or, I mean, if we had more time, we could sit here and say, what did you really think about when the paper saw that, right? There was some fire that said, man, I'm going to the wait room.

Now with your baby girl, right, you wake up every day and you think about the example that you set for your baby girl. The other side of that is not getting your reps in the gym. The other side of that is not doing what it takes to be recognized as one of the greatest left tackles to ever play the game, right? You've done the Pro Bowls, but now we take it to the next level. Right? And most people don't realize you control those thoughts. And as you have those life changes and things change, first baby I had, man, life changed. It's like now you're an example for somebody else. Now legacy means something else. Now I'm taking the pen that my mother passed to me. I get to pass it to my son. I get to pass it to my daughter. That's a hell of a responsibility and something I will absolutely attack every single day to make sure I can touch as many lives as I can. And like to me, you think about something like that? You think about your daughter in that context? Getting after it? Right? One play at a time. That's like, it's easy.

But most people don't realize you 100% can control thinking that way. They'd rather get up and say, gosh, my boss did this yesterday. It's easier. Because it's easier. I'd rather have that than actually do what it takes to control your mind. It's a victim's mentality. Absolutely. Yeah.

It's crazy. Like, I'll watch my daughter. I'll watch my daughter watch my wife and my wife will go do something. She'll walk away. And then the wind will come up behind her and pretend to do the same thing. And then they'll go the next thing. And like my, like she coughs. my daughter would be like,

like, pretending to cough. Like the bean is, she's a sponge. I mean, it's not just the bean. It's everybody, but might I call my daughter

of the bean, for those who are listening. Yeah, the beans. The bean. She's a complete step. Yeah. She's so awesome. Dude,

we dropped a fucking gym today. Is there anything else where we really need to hit on? Yeah, Ben, you got anything else? Anything you wanted to have boys? You have,

for people, for people that do, have connected with the things they've heard on this, that they can follow you. What kind of social media is you got? Yeah, so,

At continued fight is my social media. Okay. Is that for Instagram? That's the primary one. That's Instagram. That's Twitter. And those are the most popular ones. That's awesome.

What about a website? Website is bennewman.net. Okay. Dot net. If you go to bnc speakers.com, you go to bnc speakers.com, you'll find big Willie over here. He's one of our speakers. We've probably done 30-something speaking engagements together. Will's a hell of a speaker.

I was joking that you couldn't get them off the stage. Yeah. But I'll tell you what, this is one of the most. intelligent guys that met. I remember we went to North Dakota State. We had just come off of, actually, so I was there four years for the head coach took me to Kansas State with him. And three of the four years, we won a national championship. He comes in the year after we had fallen short of winning the national championship. And the way he inspired those kids, man, they still freaking talk about it. And we ended up going back to back the years after that.

Man, inspired the quarterback who just got drafted by the Chargers. Like his level of inspiration is really something else. And that's why that's why. That's why I, know for him that fire because I think back to when we were in your apartment when you were on practice squad we went out to dinner to celebrate it I came out to see him and he was right now he's on practice squad talking about I'm going to have camps I'm going to give back in my community I'm going to speak I'm going to do all these things he didn't hold back the fact that he was on practice squad to keep him from believing he would have camps believing he would save money you wrote down you believe you'd invest in real estate and far too many people are worried about

the chapter where they are and how they're never going to get to where they're going rather than recognizing the chapter where you are right now might be the best damn chapter and you solidifying the foundation that's going to give you the mindset to go conquer and achieve everything you want in your life. And that's what you've done. And that's why I love this guy to death.

I'm sure you can tell. But he's like an uncle to my kids. I would do anything for this guy. And that's what I want the listeners to know. Forget following me. Like I would do anything for this dude and that to me, that's what life is all about. It's about knowing you got relationships like this.

I could call this dude at 3 o'clock in the morning and say, bro, something went down in St. Louis. And unless there was something and he absolutely couldn't do it. He'd be like, well, I'm in the car. He'd be like, bro, I'm in the car.

Be sleeping. And I, I always dreamed he would answer that he would come for me and now he tells me he'd sleep. I appreciate it. I'll go looking for a new friend. He's doing a job hyping me up.

There's an Alabama transfer. It was that long snapper. He came from Bama. Yep. He's a guy. He's at Vandy now. Yeah, Scott's a great kid. He came up to me when we were there working on.

He's like, hey, do you know Ben Newman? I was like, yeah, I know Newman. He's like, yo, he's talked about you a lot, man. Like, it was probably, it was a really cool thing knowing he transferred from there and came from somewhere. I've never even been. And knowing that you probably, you know, said, say these nice things. I really appreciate it. Well, I remember one of the linebackers from Bama before the national championship last year.

He met you on an elevator somewhere. Yeah, it was cool. He said, we were at the Pro Bowl. Oh, that's a pro bowl. That's a pro ball. Yeah. And we were on the elevator at the Pro Bowl. And he said the same thing.

Like, you know Ben Newman? I was like, yeah, I know, Ben. That's my boy. He's like, man, he always comes to Bama and says a lot of great stuff because I'm sitting there thinking, I always get curious knowing you're about to go in another locker room. What is going to be the feedback? Just because, you know, you stepped into the sports world not like that long ago. Like five, what, five, however long as seven years ago now? 2013 was the first time.

And I'm always wondering like when you step in these new locker rooms, like how guys are going to take some of the stuff in. I always get curious. I know how I took it in, but you know there's a sometimes there's different levels of thinking to think about it. There's two things going through my mind that I got to share before we stop. First one is every message has to be different. When Coach Climman went from North Dakota State and he went to Kansas State and we sat down because he would always have me develop a theme for the season, right? And this season, it's pound the stone.

I've never used pound the stone at Alabama. I've never used pound the stone at North Dakota State. Never used it with the Dolphin. Never used it anywhere, right? So for me, like it's got to be something fresh. It's got to be something new. And too many coaches think, well, I'll go from here and I'll just pick it up and I'll put it over here. Man, you got to find out how those guys tick.

You got to find out what's in their. locker room. You got to find out how they think. And then I had a buddy of mine Joshua Medcalf who wrote a book called Pound the Stone, let me use it. But I think it's finding what's actually going to resonate. And it's been a blessing that we've been able to find these messages that have worked and they have. And then the behavior comes behind it. They rally around it. No different than for the boys, right? I'm sitting here watching from home knowing you two dudes were the ones who did that. And that was one of the proudest moments knowing that like even though you weren't getting everything that you wanted last year and the time that you wanted it, you were in there the two of you

for the boys, getting those guys to rally, getting those guys to give all of them. Dude, that's the stuff that it's all about. It's continuing to fight when you don't want to do it. And here's the beauty of this for me, and I've got to tell this story. Because we wouldn't be sitting on this bus right now. And none of these stories of people you've met

and my ability to share your story to inspire others, and it's a crazy inspiration, bro. That first training camp that I go to see him, right? So for four weeks, we get together. We're doing all this mental training stuff. This is the story. None of this. We're not here.

Yeah, right. All right. So I literally... You got a minute. You got 60 seconds. Oh, before, before you go, there's a train. It wouldn't be a bus. That's all we got to say. There's a train. Got to put it out.

Go ahead. Sorry. So he calls me the day before I'm supposed to get there and he says, bro, he goes, there's something really bad with my hamstring. So I get there. Turns out we didn't know it at the time he had a torn hamstring. So he comes from practice. He says, meet me at the team hotel.

And I'm thinking I'm just going to be hanging out at training camp. And it's like, oh, man, we got to go to work. So we meet across from the Starbucks. We're at the Omni Hotel in Richmond, Virginia, and I sit across from him, and I looked at him, and I said, bro, I'm like, can you go? And he's like, I could go. I could go. And I'm like, who knows what's the situation is?

I'm like, can you go without hurting yourself and causing long-term damage? Can you go? And he's like, bro, I can go. I'm going to get this thing strapped up. There's one trainer I can trust. I'm going in there. I'm going to get strapped up. I can go.

I said, go do your thing. Go take what belongs to you. He went out that practice. He had an interception. He had a pick six on Kirk Cousins and another ball that you dropped for an interception. and it was that day where he became a member of the Washington Redskins. But he made the choice to fight through the pain, and then we find out, what was it, two years later,

he actually played on a fully torn hamstring for almost two full years. And you've got people bitching that they can't take the next step in their life. If anybody's tweaked their hamstring, they don't want to walk. And you played on it for two years. And everything that has happened in this entire story, you guys wouldn't have this relationship if you wouldn't have stepped on that field. Because when you're seventh out of seven on the depth chart, right? When you're seven out of seven and you go in there and say,

I got a bad hammy. Taylor, what do they do? Hey, bro, go ahead and pack your bags and get out of here. We don't have time to worry about you. We're going to get somebody else. And you always fought, man. You've always fought. Thank you. That was unbelievable.

At continued fight. Appreciate you wolves. Go out there and be a fucking wolf today. That's all I fucking got, man. Bustonwtb.com. Follow. Subscribe. Rate the pod, five stars.

Go have a tremendous day. And as your dad says, big hugs and the tiniest of kisses. Hey guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.

We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick.

Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform?

We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Danny Shapiro,

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