Bussin' With The Boys - Best of the Bus: Bert Kreischer Joins The Boys For Episode 300 + Moving To Nashville

Episode Date: September 6, 2025

Recorded: Oct 29, 2024 | On this episode of Best of the Bus, hosts Will Compton and Taylor Lewan were joined by stand-up comedian, actor, and producer Bert Kreischer. In what turned out to be Bert’s last podcast for a while, The Machine brought unforgettable stories, and his famous laugh. He opened up about his journey in stand-up and how his material was always evolving, touching on his specials Hey Big Boy and Razzle Dazzle while hinting at what was coming next. The Boys also hit Dad Talk, with Bert sharing about being a father of two girls, before discussing the Kreischers’ big move to Nashville. This episode marked the 300th episode of Bussin’ With The Boys.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Fellas on this episode of Best of the Bus. We're throwing it back to the machine himself, Burke Kreischer. That man hopped on the bus and helped us celebrate a massive milestone. And that was episode 300. Burk came through, as always, with laughs and ready to share wild stories from his journey and stand-up. We get to talk about his specials. Talk of how his materials evolved and touched on his next moves, including possibly packing up the Chrysier crew and heading to Nashville. And of course, we hit some dad talk.

Bert is one of a kind. Enjoy this legendary throwback. Subscribe on subscribe. We subscribe. Let's get in the episode. Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome. What is? Is this your fourth time on the bus?

No, it's my second. Yeah, but you did the Super Bowl, but it's his second time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sitting on the bus. Let's give a round of applause for Bert Kreischer. Hey, episode, episode 300. Episode 300.

Congratulations, gentlemen. Did you ever think you'd be where you are today? No. interviewing the fucking president of the United States. Isn't that fucking crazy? Oh. Hey, how insane was that? Fucking.

It's wild. It's wild that that's where this is. Yeah. It's wild. It's fucking. Congratulations, gentlemen. That was a truly intense experience. One of the most wild experiences was when we got to Trump Tower, they had these bulletproof.

Obviously, there's been like, I don't know how many assassination attempts now. God, you could have killed him. I heard there was a third in California. You were so close. So close. You should have killed him. You were right there. We could have.

I mean, we could have, if anybody was going to do it, we could have easily, easily killed them. You want to talk about numbers. I mean, look, though. Fuck. Jack, Jack, turn the camera on for this one. But dude, they had like two giant panes of a bulletproof glass, but they had like two more that didn't come in. So when we were doing the episode, it was Trump who was covered, will who was covered.

And then a perfect, no covering. If anybody was going to get murdered in this thing, it would have been me. I would have been the guy. That would have been great for the show. It would have been fantastic for the show. And I did say before we started the show, if I am killed in this process, make sure the show still runs. God too. I'll do the interview with a bulletin.

Absolutely. I'd like to be killed. Like, I don't want to be killed. I don't want to be killed. I'm with you. Yeah. You don't want to just die. You want to be killed.

There's always this thing on Instagram that's like, women are like, oh, I really want to die peacefully in my sleep. And then it says men and it's like the gladiator scene where he's dying or something like a guy that's fighter jet. Would you want it to be an apex predator? I don't know. It seems a little too gruesome. I would like the most honorable way possible.

Like maybe like some sort of home invasion where I am able to kill the guy also. Like he stabs me and then I kind of grab him by the throat and bring him in real close and then just slowly slit his throat. And then I also pass in the process, but I get the last laugh. I'd like to win, then lose. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to, if I'm going to die, I want to die in a way that I get whoever got me also just before I get God.

See, death for me is more about the legacy. Like, you want to die in a way that everyone goes, preach. Damn it. I didn't get a chance to take a bye to him. Like, fuck. Yeah. Oh, God damn it. I was just texting with him last week. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Liam Payne. Right. And Payne, you see there like, this was his Instagram story from an hour before he died. And he was like, I'm having lunch or whatever. That's another one you bring up is like being somebody's last form of communication. That's a good one. It's being like, hey, you're about Will.

And then just be like, yeah, dude, I texted him. And you know that was like two minutes before you actually died, right? That was two men. And like you were the last four of communication. It was Huskers plus six and a half. It's Indiana. Yeah. Lock of the week.

Yeah. I swore to God. You see that final score? He was wrong. He was done. What is your perfect scenario of dying? It would be rescuing people. So like putting my life on the line for someone in front of people.

I need people to see it. So that everyone's like, oh, my God, he ran in the building. And I want to die in front of people. I want people to see me die. And I want it to be out of nowhere. I really want it to be a surprise. Like I'll be, when I die, I hope that I go, shut the fuck up. Get it.

This was it. Are you kidding? A fucking rattlesnake. Oh, that would be the worst. Did you hear? And then all of a sudden, oh, what was that? Dude, I knew a dude who was almost died.

He was cutting his toenails on a glass. I've talked about this so much. He was cutting his toenails on a glass out of the shower, naked, on a glass table. And the table shattered, and it cut his femoral artery. And he almost died cutting his fucking toenails. That'd be,

that's probably the top five of worst ways to go. Yeah, that'd be a brutal way to go. Well, that are fucking auto erotic fixiation. That would be a bad way. Yeah. Like the one guy, one cup video. I don't think he died Oh the jar

Yeah the jar that breaks in his asshole Dad be a T just Imagine being unconscious And the doctor's being like What do you do? Like that's how it fucking happened There's a video called one One guy one jar

One man one jar It was during the time of like two girls One cup all those like gory videos That everyone would kind of watch in high school And uh Very popular branding about you will name their podcast Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah

Very popular branding The time you watch the show But yeah, so the video starts, it's a, you just see a guy's legs and then a jar, and the jar is to his legs, and then he sits down, and the jar goes in his ass. And then he leans back in here, and the jar pops in his ass. And then he kind of does it at the half squat, and he takes glass shards and pulls it out of his ass as blood. You haven't seen this? No, bro.

God, what a sheltered life you've had. That, yeah, I mean, that's, what is that? You know, that used to be Rogan. That used to be what his, his thing was all those. video before we got into like being smart and learning like he was just like you guys see this guy get fucked by a horse

yeah yeah you know mr. hands that video yes that was on that was out in Seattle right I don't know I mean that sounds like a Pacific Northwest thing that sounds like Geographic you know the Northwest would be the best

spot against the fence right yeah you should go I saw that one yeah oh my god dude dot yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. That is, why in the fuck would you do that?

You're just horny. Like the ultimate, dog, it's got to be a sense of, is that the horse? Dude, I've been horny. It was Seattle, yeah. It was Seattle. Look at that. How did you guys know of Seattle? Look at how happy that horse looks too in that photo.

That horse looks way too content with what it's done to another man. That is wild. One last thing on the dying thing. Peak dying. Yeah. Those guys on the United 93 flight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, when they have, they call their wives and they say, hey, blah, we're going to have to do some things.

I love you. And then their last quote is, let's roll boys. And then they go and take it down, they put the plane down. That is the most honorable way to go. Those guys, shout out them. Let's give a right of applause for those gentlemen right there. Yeah, a way to go out to a movie that perfectly describes the way I'd want to go out is the gray with Liam. With the wolves?

Yeah, where they're playing crashes and then they have to survive because there's a pack of wolves kind of hunting them. and then he just goes one on one just wrapping broken glass around his fist with a little poem going out Jack showed me that ending scene when he breaks it and he tapes it to him

and just the scene of the wolf's face gives you goosebumps Yeah I can't have the recipe of cowardice involved in my death because I will go to cowardice first See I worry about that too It's like would you run back in the building

Here's what I'll tell you what happened one time You would for family Oh you would for family One time No no no we went on a safari and uh and it was travel channel so i was with a bunch of people and like uh you know film crew and everything and we got like within 20 feet from a lion and it was just laying under a

tree it was just laying there and the lion popped up and like looked at us and it i mean everyone's assholes clinched and in that moment i thought to myself i just need to push the girl in front of the lion and i was like and i had a knife on me and i was like and they're like oh you're gonna use that knife to fight the lion and I was like no I was gonna stab the girl to debilitate her and then the line because you know she got to run faster than the flow is burst right yeah yeah yeah and so I can't have cowardice I'm afraid I'd go to cowardice yeah the fight a flight like when you say those guys in 9-11 I would hate to be I would hate to be in that moment because I might be the guy going guys guys guys guys just let them fly us where they want to fly us you know you know you don't

want to be that guy no hey guys listen listen you guys are being racist okay just because they're brown and they all have box cutters doesn't mean why do I do it like a whiter boy yeah you're white like you can just do my voice you can just do it exactly who you are hey fellas fellas yeah you'd be sitting in first time as being you just relax for a second I'm trying to get some sleep here

a double jack with rocks I don't want to have no plane crash no plane crash I got last yesterday I got on the plane and it was early and I was I wanted to drink and usually that thing I said with Glennie balls about drinking double jack of rocks a lot of rocks

and I heard the two pilots go fucking the machine is in 2A and I went we'll be drinking a day boys yeah and they came back the flight attendants were like we're so excited to have you do you mind when we land if we get a picture and I was like absolutely

and like can we get you anything and I just winked and he went I got you no way jack on the rocks lots of rocks double jack on the rock I didn't even finish it I fell asleep before I could even finish it is that the like the epitome of my like I've made it yeah that's it

when you're sitting in first class and the flight attendant knows exactly what you drink is knows exactly what my dad is. Has there been another moment that's top that one? Oh, I've had so many moments. I'm kidding. I've had, my life is insane.

It was never, it was never supposed to be like this. It really wasn't. And I'm like, every, every, I got a fucking FaceTime from Baker the other day. He was in the pool.

What's up? I didn't know you were in Tampa. I was like, I was like, fuck. Like that, I know, like he's younger than me.

And I know, and I, you're supposed to be. Quarterback. Yeah, but still, it's like a football player knows where I am? Yeah.

Like, That's like, I'm always like that. But I'm very, I'm still very much burnt in like every sense. Like everything, I really get starstrucked. I really, like I lose my shit over celebrities all the time. I did it with Chris Robinson from the fucking Black Rose made a fool of myself. I make fools. I make a fool of myself all the time.

So, yeah. Have you ever tried to rewrite that in your head? Like maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I am now the celebrity that people get excited about? No. I can't. I don't know how to do it. I don't know.

I don't know how to shut my fucking mouth. Like you I'll tell you how much money I make like I'm just like I'm a fool like I watch Rogan and Tom just sit there and not talk to people and like be cool and I just fucking jabber jaw I'm like yeah I can't I just you got to be cool with who the fuck you are I guess that's what makes you and Tom such a great pair the yin yang of the both of you. Yeah it is beautiful and one thing you guys you were on two bears with them and there was a lot of talk about Ryan Holiday and his the views of everything. I'm just Have you changed your opinion? Oh, yeah. Have you dove into any stoicism, or is it still kind of like? I don't know. I get,

um, I'm just, I'm always anti what everyone thinks is good. Right. Like, I always go like, is it though? Yeah.

Like, I don't know. It's always been my thing. You're anti when somebody says, hey, this could be good for you. You're like, no,

that's gay. Yeah. I have a really hot take about alcoholism that is not popular online right now. Well, go ahead. I just, no,

I'm not going to get into it again. it made sense when I was talking to two black guys about it yeah okay all right great start yeah we were like we were like maybe you're the problem maybe it's not alcohol maybe it's you like we're all partying hard we don't drink and drive we don't hit our wives we don't like to have a good time maybe it's you

maybe you're the fucking problem but alcoholics don't like hearing that yeah that's his bad take it's a tough take it's a tough thing it's a tough one for the internet but it made sense when we were fucking lit watching the sunset hammered being like you know what this isn't bad at all I know for people to think that it's bad they're wrong Dude, because alcoholics only have one answer.

It's, you have to quit drinking. I go, no, no, you have to quit drinking. I'm doing absolutely, I had an alcoholic tell me, I wish I could say his name. He goes, do you think, you think? And by the way, I was with the smartest people in the world at this party. The smartest individuals in the world. Legit. And he was like, you think because you are successful and you make a lot of money and you do like an arena tour and you're happily married.

You got a good relationship with your kids. that you don't have a drinking problem? And I was like, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Like you just hit it. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. And he was like, no, you got a problem.

I was like, no, you got a problem. I'm fucking killing it. And then in front of a room full of geniuses proceeded to say, I don't believe in alcoholism. But I also don't believe in death. I don't believe in a lot of stuff. Let's unpack the only other thing you said. You don't believe in dying? I don't.

What hadn't happened to me? Okay. Yeah, what's the take on not believing in death? I don't know. I think it happens to other people, but just not me. It's kind of that Oh, you think you're invincible I kind of

Because it hasn't happened Go play some football You'll find out real quick You'll find out real quick How in an Oklahoma drill Yeah Yeah How another man put his hands on you

And control where you go That that's when you know That you are not invincible I don't believe Well I just like It's like you ever go to a funeral And then you're like Yeah got another one

But not me Just dodged it again It seems like it's always is having other people. It does. I don't believe it until it happens. Until it happens. Then you can't believe in it.

Then I'll be like, well, fuck. I guess I was wrong about that. Yeah. Got me. Got me. Yeah, guess they were right. Yeah.

Looks like it does exist. Looks like it does exist. Well, all right. Well, we've jumped into a lot of different categories. What's your take on religion? I would love to be religious. Yeah. You know, you guys, yeah, my plan is moving to Nashville and find the Lord.

Yeah, you know, that's why we're here. We're looking at house. And I texted your wife and I told her that the house next door to me is for sale. You guys fucked her up. She came to fucking Beer Olympics and got in the car that day and said, we are moving to Nashville. And I went, what? She said, this is, these are real people. This is, I miss the South.

We're coming back and we're looking at houses. And so you guys hit me up about doing this. And she was like, let's do it. And then we'll, we're going to look at houses today. Oh, let's go. Lance here. Yeah, Lance here. Why isn't she?

here on the bus. Because I don't want to fucking deal with her. Dude, I'm fucking, I'm with her 100% of the time. We have no kids anymore. The kids are at school. It's me and her up our fucking asses. I mean, if I had known I was going to spend this much time with someone, I would would have married a dude. Happily married. Happily married. I'm just, it's like you just, man, when you don't have kids, you spend all your time with that person. You fuck them. You eat with them. You sleep with them. You shower with them. You everything, everything, everything, everything, everything. And then I'm sitting next to we're on a fucking plane.

And we're just, we're up each other's asses. If you said this to her, she would say the same thing. She will laugh at times and go, I can't believe I'm still looking at you. Like we just are with each other nonstop. It's crazy. How have you guys been married? 20 years, 20 years. Nice, bro.

And by the way, you did save beer Olympics. Yeah. The beer games. She. And thank you for that. No, I didn't. I didn't. The boys were taking.

The boys were taking bullets out there. And you making your video, like, I'm going to make it happen, was it fired us up. It's still, it's like, it's like Fight Club. It's so needed. I love it. I love it so much. I have, that energy.

And Leanne saw the energy. The energy is like, I mean, she still's like, she's obsessed with Michael Chandler. She's never seen him fight. She doesn't know what he does. Right. She got a little guy. I love that little guy. Let's not say that out loud.

Yeah, yeah. Don't say a little guy out loud. He is. She follows these two girls online. Look at how much higher their tits are than her. She crushed it. I mean, she was obliterated, but it was absolutely hammered. It's her, it's her feather and her cap is that she hung with the boys.

Yeah. She killed three beer. She drank the three beers out of the boot. I did. It took me a little bit. I got it. The chance we're going. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. So we're down here looking at houses. But when it comes to religion, I think I would love. I would love to believe and be just, and then look at you because you don't and go, I guess you're going to hell. That would be so cool. Yeah.

Dude, you had to believe it. You got to believe it. Right. You've got to believe it. And I would love that, but I just, I'm too, I'm too skeptical. Like, I just, I started researching about Islam and Hinduism. So I'm looking for something. Yeah.

Catholicism is my thing. And I don't know. It tweaks, it tweaks my OCD too much. So I get like into, I work. all the Jesus pieces. But yeah. Kanye. Hinduism sounds like the coolest one so far.

What about Hinduism is like, okay, I can get down with this. Karma makes total sense. Yeah. Karma's like a big deal. And the fact that you come back, life is energy and you come back in a reincarnation. Yeah. I think that's cool. Like we've had lives before this life.

Yeah. I'll tell you what, man. Islam is for me, I think if they could just get rid of the pork and booze, I'd be cool with Islam. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I love the idea that you got to take a trip to Mecca. Everyone, one time you got to go to Mecca.

I love that that that's in the religion. That's so cool that, yo, it's like fucking bachelor party. You got to check this box. Yeah, you got to fucking go. You got to Mecca. You know, that's what's the cool things about Muslims is that usually if they run into other Muslims, they treat them with a lot of love because they assume they're going to Mecca. Really?

Yeah, I thought that was cool. You pray five times a day. I just did all the research on these. I was looking for religion the other day. Yeah, the rules part is really hard, like praying five times a day for me. I just feel like I'm not good with time management. That would make it very difficult for me.

Can't fit this in. Yeah, like in the morning, I got it. I got a routine down. Let me get the cold tub. Then do I pray or do I pray before? Like, what's the deal? You hung out with other Muslims. You all do it together.

It's like a sin. The community. It's like a sin. Like a sin. Yeah, or a lucy on this podcast. A lucy. The community aspect. Yeah.

It's so cool. Seems like the Jewish people have the community thing down in a big way. We live in a really big Jewish neighborhood. And the other day was like... Is there a new year? Yeah, is there a new year? And they were all walking on the streets. And I was just like, it seems cool as fuck.

It seems cool to be religious. Like, I don't know why. I don't know how it got to be not believing in God was the cool thing. Because it just seems like you got a community. Like I would love, I would love... You know what we should do? I want to go see Joel Osteen. Who's that?

He's like the mega preacher. Oh, you know. you would know if you saw him would I? Yeah. Is this like a righteous gemstone type of guy? Yeah. He's like, yeah.

Yeah, like a famous type speaker like does, has all the arena. He'd be somebody that was like on TV when you were young. Yeah. On Sunday. Yeah. He looks like Martin Shorten that. I still have seen that picture. I have no clue who that is.

His net worth is through the roof. He does like mega churches. Dude, that was the rub. When we started comedy, there's a guy telling you like, yo, if you work clean, you can do churches. I never wanted to do that shit. There's a guy John Chris that did that. Oh yeah, he lives in Nashville.

Dude, he would do like a fucking Sunday 6 o'clock show in a mega church, in a mega church. It's like, they're like arenas. Yeah. And just clean up. He made so much fucking money. He's a great guy. He got canceled. Did you hear this story?

This is wild. I apologize, John, if I'm perpetuating something and I love you, you know that. A friend of the show. He got soft cancel. I'll say soft canceled. I mean, when you hear this, you're going to go, huh? Because he took a girl rollerblading. And he tried to kiss her.

He got canceled for that. He got canceled. But in their community, if you say that you're like a Christian, and I think he had like vodka and a water bottle or something. Yeah. It's like, it really is like not that bad. Number one high school move. Yeah.

And he got canceled. But when you're in it, you got to be in it. When you say you're Christian, you can't fuck around. That's the thing, that's the hard part is like... That is a hard part. I could do the Christian, like, believe in it. But I'm gonna fuck up.

I'm gonna fuck up. Yeah, that's my... That's the hard thing, like, with football for me, I always thought it was better to have your public perception. Whoa. Perception. How good is that? There's no alcohol in this, right?

Oh, there's 5%. Oh, fuck, I'm sober. No, I'm kidding. No. But the public perception for me of having... Having people think less of you, I always thought was a bigger win than trying to be this like all-American kid. And then one or two things happen. And they're like, oh, you're a piece of shit.

I'd rather people think, oh, this guy's a piece of shit. And then when you meet me or whoever the person is, it's like, oh, they're actually, you, you, you, are just come off way better to them. And I just think that's a bigger win. You are explaining my business model to a T. Okay. So I go to college. So I play baseball in high school, get recruited to play. Duke Citadel going to walk on at Florida State

I go to walk on very first day He's having a great football season by the way Florida State you're killing it right now You're looking at yeah well I'll tell you a secret I'll tell you a secret a second So I go to walk on at Florida State I literally do the first practice and walk off the field I'm like I'm pro sports are no longer for me

I gave up baseball and I remember But I remember going to my fraternity I was in a fraternity and they were doing Intermurals and they're like football and everyone's like Dude I'm a dog and you're like really and they're like fucking dude get me on the field get me on the the field. So I got intimidated. That's young Bert. God, Obie was fat. And so, um, so, and by the way, that guy on the left, Scott O'Brien, fucking amazing baseball player. Really? Yeah, yeah. He can sling it.

Dude, he, well, he ended up walking on at Florida State. He had a full ride to Alabama, too. Oh, wow. No way. So, um, so he's a great actor now, too. It's an interesting dude. He's a very interesting dude. But, uh, so I didn't go out for football intermereals because everyone was so good. And then I watched them play and I was like, oh, they suck. everyone talk shit. And I was like, because the way I played sports was, you didn't talk shit unless, you didn't talk shit. You just didn't talk shit.

You just played the sport. And then that talked the shit for you. Yeah. So then intramural softball comes up and everyone's like, oh, I'm a fucking dog. And I was like, okay, I'm going to go out. I'm not going to tell anyone I can play. I'm going to go out and play.

And I'm just not going to say anything. I remember catching fly balls in the outfield behind my back. And everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing? And then you go and I hit fucking bombs. And they're like, dude, you didn't tell us you could play. So I looked at that. From that day forward, as I was like, I will never talk shit about, like, I'm going to always undersell my performance and over deliver. So, with stand-up, I always, I'm, dude, I've said this, and I mean it now.

I think I've said it so much. I mean, the only reason people think I'm a great stand-up is I hang out with the best stand-ups in the world. I mean, look at that. You surround yourself in the storytelling realm, too. Yeah, the storytelling is incredible. Yeah, no, I know, but I- That's the game plan. That's the business plan.

You basically just did it for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like, I like that. I'd rather people go like, yeah, he takes his shirt off, whatever. And then they go, wow, he's a really good storyteller. Like I, I, as a place to, oh, this is way better than I thought. Yeah. Yeah, because I look at, I mean, when I got into stand-up, I remember going to the Boston

Comedy Club and dudes walk off stage and like, I just ripped that room. And you're like, did you? And I remember also thinking, so that's your version of the best you got? I was like, all right. And so I just never, I never really talk shit about stand-up. Now look, when we talk about fucking sports or anything now, I talk wild shit. Like, fucking ran the L.A. Marathon with no training at all. Told you I'd fucking bench press more than you.

I mean, I love that. I love that. Like, that's fun. And if you're, and if you don't get it, it's like, that's the point of comedy is just to fuck around. Yeah. But, but yeah, I've always, that underperform, undersell, overperform. That's always been my thing. Two bears five.

Okay. So nice. You ran it a couple times. Yeah. I ran it twice. Tommy's like, he fucking. trained for it and he had his coach pacing him he had headsets in he didn't talk to anybody and he still

fucked he ran in 34 minutes he was like i'm trying to break 30 minutes i was like dude fucking there's like people in the paralympics that bring fucking 30 minutes what you're doing he was so serious about this fucking race i got hit by a golf car yeah what happened there uh that's a great question, Pete. Would the P hit you? Pete. He stopped in front of the cart. You go, Pete.

I love that Pete, I love that Pete cannot just You weren't trying to stop anything. You stopped right in front of the cart. I didn't even stop, I was just walking. There's nothing I could do about it. You stopped right in front of the cart. That is fucking,

imagine if he's broken, like. Oh, I, I, I, you saw the lunge, he was trying to get out of it. It's crazy. Fucking brutal. I came out of my shoes. I came out of my shoes. Shout out Dan Cook, dude.

He's had a great bit about that back in the day. Yeah, that was, yeah. The shoes, the shoes coming off, seeing a man get hit by a car. Yeah, God, man. People don't remember how great. I mean, Dan's still a very talented stand-of-comedian. But when he did it at that moment, you know, there was nothing like it. There was nothing like it.

You remember, people used to bomb on stage. Dane never pumped. He murdered in the worst scenario you could imagine. Dane Cook would fucking destroy. He went on that run of, I mean, vicious circle. He had those three, his three standups, his three specials were incredible. But then he was doing movies. He was doing all that stuff.

That's what's so fascinating to me. I feel like I bring it up every time a comedian is on our bus. It's like, what happened to Dave? Because we did with Adam. Yeah, we did with Adam, who came out last week now for people that are listening to this episode. But it just seems like he's got this like people are not a fan of him. in the comedic world, like people say he stole jokes and all these other things. I don't know.

I'm always trying to figure out what happened to Dane Cook. Because I personally was a massive fan of him. Yeah, we all were. I think here's the one thing I'll think that, and this is maybe just a stupid thought, but he got famous by himself. Like we all got famous together. Like this generation of comics, we all got famous at the same time. Like me, Tommy, Joe, Ari, Shane Gillett.

Like, we all, and so we kind of have people to bounce things off of. It was just Dane. I mean, it was just Dane. There was not another comic. There was not one comic at Dane's level. It's like, can you imagine getting rich by yourself and like, like, and going like, I don't know, how do I get watches? Like, what kind of car do I want?

Yeah, everyone's got a guy for something. Yeah, yeah. It's like when you're on a football team and everyone's making money, you're like, Yo, how did you? Oh, I got a guy that he'll take care of that. Okay. And, you know, so, like, we all got wealthy together. Like, all of our friends.

So, like, I mean, I don't want to get into the weeds on stuff. But, like, you know, I'm trying to, because some people kind of manipulate their persona a little bit. Yeah. So you don't want to blow someone's bubble. But, but Dane got rich by himself, did arenas by himself. He was the only one doing arenas. Dude, when I did arenas, I remember reaching out to, I remember talking to Schultz going, this is how you do arenas.

you got to get a stage you need a sound system bring your own sound system it's got to feel like I mean we got to talk to each other about it about how to do these things Dane did it by himself and so in a weird way

and I've been the victim of this the only thing people want is to watch you fail like they love taking shots people on the top and I've it's happened to me guys that were like good friends just the second you pass them

they're like fuck that guy and you're like I thought we were both I cheered you when you succeeded. You couldn't cheer me when I succeeded. Yeah. And it's crazy. It's like, you know, and so, but Dane did it all by himself.

And so everyone just wanted him to fail. Why do you think human nature is that way? Where this is like everybody wants to be on top. And the minute somebody surpasses them, they start talking shit. It's weird, man. I'll tell you. Like, this is the closest I can get to it. And you'll understand this.

So I took Shane Gillis to on tour with me a couple times, right? and I took him to Celebrity Theater in Arizona. It's in the round. And he opened for me. He did 10 minutes, 15 maybe. And he got a standing ovation. A standing ovation. That was the Super Bowl, right?

No, no. That was another time. It was another time. He got a standing ovation then too. But he got a standing ovation. He didn't know what to do with it. He really didn't know what to do with it. Like he kind of stopped.

And, you know, he's uncomfortable as he is, but stopped. And we're all sitting. We're like, take it, stay out there. And then he comes off stage and I was like, wow, this is changing for him. I got a text from him or maybe one of our managers. You know, I hold booze records everywhere. They were like, Shane Gillis broke your booze record at the celebrity theater.

And like, you want your boys to succeed, but there is a party going, hold on. Like, we're not talking money. We're not talking, like, he's breaking records everywhere right now. That was the first one. He broke my booze record. my booze I'm the booze like and so there is a thing where you got to decide what kind of man you are are do you want your boys to blow up do you want your boys to succeed or do you need to be the guy you know I don't need to be the guy I've always wanted I've always surrounded myself white by the best

people I don't need to be the guy but I am watching people watch Shane and go well I'm the guy and you're like no anymore no it's just like that dude he just broke the record at Wells Fargo God for most booze no no for most attendance hold on the boo the boo the boo the boo the boo thing was most booze bought or how does one measure the booze record they the the the places the that's how i used to get on that's how i used to tour was i'd break alcohol sales at all the clubs yeah i i was like they're not going to know if i'm funny or not but what they will know is if they have to fucking restock on monday they're going to like fucking bring bird back and so i used to do i used to a show called calling sick to work where i go in i do a show at noon and we drink them out of booze

before their evening shows. We do, I mean, I'd kill it on booze, but that's, Shane's destroying it right now. And you hear people and you're like,

oh, you, that's interesting. Because you didn't say that when he was opening for you. You didn't say that when he was younger. Now you're saying it. I've watched it happen to a lot of people.

I'll tell you what, I can just tell you what doesn't happen to. Doesn't happen to Tom, doesn't happen to Joe. Joe Rogan wants you to be more famous than him the second he fucking meets you. Joe was the most selfless individual. When we, he'd put us on his podcast just to get us fans.

I remember I had a special out. He put me on, we did a, uh, uh, end of the world podcast that night at the store. And then I did his podcast first thing in the morning. That guy's wanted your success since day one. He is the most selfless individual. But it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that before. Damn.

It does feel like it happened. It feels like it happens in the, in the comedy realm because I feel like it's more of like that individual. July sport. Yeah. If you're an individual sports in athletics and everything else, I feel like, you know,

people want whoever's at the top, like they want to be better then, right? And people cheer on you. It's like when you're low enough and they feel like your dream is also their dream, you're more relatable. You come off more relatable. But the moment you do get kind of like to the top

or surpass whatever, their level of like them wanting you to be in their world is like once it gets beyond that is, I feel like is when the shots kind of come. Yeah. Because then people are, you know, they want to say you forgot who you forgot who you are, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, this and that.

Yeah. Yeah, and comedy is so opinion-based too. Like, it's some comics who are on top of the world, people don't think are funny because it's just not their humor. So I'm sure when some comics go above others, those comics are like, well, you know, he's not that funny. Like, why does he be able to have so much success and not me? Yeah, it's wild too.

And we're at a stage now where it's like, you got to realize, like, not everyone did arenas. And now everyone's doing arenas. And like, so like, you look at some guys that are a little older and they're like, like they were like at the top of their games doing theaters. Like that was all that the opportunity offered. Now it's like, I mean, kill Tony's in arenas. There are kids that have been doing stand-up for one year that are doing stand-up in arenas.

Like it's wild where comedy is right now. It's insane to me. But yeah, it's like the opportunities are so different. It's like now a lot of people are doing arenas. Do you think the people are doing arenas more because of how much exposure there's a social media or comedy is that much better than it used to be? I think it's a perfect storm of everything. I think it is social media. I do think it has to do with,

I think this fucking cancer culture was, like, great for business. It's like people want to hear you say the wildest shit now. I mean, there are some comics, I think, that there are some people that I don't even think they know what comedy is. They just know how to say wild shit. Yeah. Like, I go, wow. But I think it's a perfect storm of all of that. And I think, you know, I mean, look at, I mean, when you say, you guys sat down with the fucking

former president of the United States, possibly the next current future president of the United States. That's where the world is. People don't give a fuck about the Today Show and the late night talk shows and the this is where it's connecting. And our fans, I say our fans, because I think we probably share overlapping concentric circles,

but they know you. They like, they like root for you and they love you. And then that turned into comedy. It's like, I go on stage and I take my shirt off and people lose their mind. and I go, it's like, it's insane to me. It's insane. I mean, there was a time when I took my shirt off

where people went, what the fuck is this? Yeah. You know? I mean, the first seven years of my career. I take my shirt off and they'd be like, but it's just bizarre where everything is, I think. I think people do. Everybody's doing a good job.

Hey, it's us, the Jonas brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey, Jonas. We invented a podcast.

Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special. So how did we actually come up with a name, Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. Oh, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band.

Before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast.

But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human.

Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in.

I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered.

Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. To have like a rising tide lifts all ships. Like you're fully loaded tours essentially like that. I know when we have comics aren't we talk to comics who have been on that thing. They talk about how much that just event and that tour kind of like puts you on because, again, you're in front of so many people. entertaining in such a way that involves

a partying together like you you are accessible you feel way more accessible to people yeah I think so I mean I've always been I've always been a firm believer in like it's not fun if you're doing it by yourself like I mean I my favorite memories are like taking I was just thinking of this the other day because I told you I'm going fluffy to the sphere and I said to Leanne I go how cool would this be able to do

like to take your because Fluffy got a box for us and he got us all hotel rooms and he put us up and it was like fucking sick and he got a party bus for us and we're on the party bus we're laughing our asses off and i said to leanne i was like dude this would be so sick if we could do something like this and she goes you've done this every year you do red rocks and i went that's right and i remember i wish i had the fucking video me and shane got so fucked up me Shane and mark got so fucked up on this party bus that we were singing songs without the words trying to guess the songs. So we're like,

I don't know, yeah, like just screaming and we're crying laughing. Do you remember that, Pete? Yeah, playing music. We were crying, crying, crying, laughing.

He's beyond everything. Yeah. And I look back, I look back at like all the things I've done. Those are my favorite moments is, is like, all the people I've partied with,

all my friends, and they're all the greatest comics in the world. They're the funniest human beings. One of my favorite memories, Georgia is on fully loaded with her friend Daisy. And, Shane comes up last night and he goes up to him.

He goes, you guys sneaking beers? Georgia goes, no. He goes, come on. You don't have to lie to me. She's like, no. He's like, I'm not going to tell your dad. She's like, yeah, we're sneaking beers. And Shane just sits down next to me.

He was Georgia sneaking beers. Like, these are, I mean, these are like the greatest fucking memories of my life. And you think, you know, like, I didn't pay that much to hang out with them. Dude, that is fucking wild to be able to get all your boys. and just be like, hey, we all have a certain set of skills. Let's just all go and do this together. Dude, fully loaded last year, it's me, Jellyroll, Dave Attell, Big J. O'Kerson, Dan Soder, Mark Norman.

I mean, it's the perfect smoke tent. And we're laughing hysterically. And Jelly Roll just happens to be the biggest artist in the country. Yeah. And we laughed so hard. He had just found out who Mitch Hedberg was. And within finding out, within finding out that he has not. his favorite comic he then learns he's dead and we could not stop laughing he goes this Mitch

headberg guy's great and David tell goes I got some bad news for you buddy we are crying laughing but like those are the moments like where you go this is life doesn't get better yeah yeah talk about your relationship with jelly roll a little bit because you guys you do you guys have one two bears has he been on I don't know but I know he did the 5k with y'all you guys have done done shows together stuff like that where that relationship start I don't know Honestly, I started following Jelly a long time ago. I started following him online. I think I saw him on Chelsea show originally and found him.

And then we started DMing. And we just became friends over through the internet. Then he came out and did my podcast and we just connected immediately. There's something we have, we're very similar men in that I think we're very, we feel, we feel very lucky to be in the position we're in, as opposed to some guys are like, this was, I was destined for this. Yeah. I think both Jelly and I are like, man, we just feel like.

the luckiest dudes in the world. And we just kept, we just kept in touch. And then probably the biggest thing, I mean, it's like crazy. I don't think much of it. But like,

if we were in, ever in the same city, we always hit up, he found each other. Like, if he was on tour near me, he'd come and have lunch at my, where we were at the arena.

And then, like, he came in Nashville. He came out to the show, I was here. And we've always just kept in touch and been close. And,

and then, but the crazy thing was, And this is probably the best moment of our friendship. He was on Nelk Boys and he was saying, you know, the two bears are doing a 5K. I think I'm going to get in shape for it. And all of a sudden, it fucking took off. Like People Magazine wrote us about it and it was crazy.

So he came out to do this and then me, Bunny, Leanne, and Jelly are running the 5K together. And we're getting done. We're like about past the finish line. And Jelly starts crying. I'm going to get emotional. I'm not going to cry. Don't worry. I'm done crying.

I'm done crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. as Jelly gets emotional. You're safe here. Yeah, you're safe here. Geli gets emotional and he goes, and he's like, I think you might have just changed my life. And Bunny starts crying and she's holding the end.

The four of us are like sobbing crossing the finish line. And it's true. It's like, I mean, you guys have never really like been, you know, had like health issues or had gotten your life's never gotten away from you with your bodies. But guys like me and jelly, I mean, I was 285 last time, the fucking time before at beer Olympics. And jellies had weight issues and just that little spark of getting your health back together and getting in control of it. And just getting into a place where you are moving every day. It's so fucking big.

And but that moment was crazy. And then immediately he's like, we're doing half a marathon. And I was like, yeah. And so I was like, all right, I'm in if you're in. But he, I love him to death, man. I'm so happy for his success. He's the sweetest guy in the world. Dude, he really does have that.

I mean, you know, you don't understand. He went and did fully loaded this year. he did the first week I didn't pay him I didn't I didn't cover his tour bus I didn't cover his private jets he did it on his own like he came and did it and I was like dude I gotta get I gotta pay you back somehow he's like no I just want to be with you it's like that's like a real friend I love him I love him to death yeah he is the kindest soul but yes when you just know like life like I think to myself like man what was he like like when he was in prison and was wrapped up in the wrong stuff to where he has such a perspective now

and he's able to talk to absolutely everybody and have this perspective that you just you want to do nothing but root for him yeah yeah the level of purity is is second and not especially when he tells stories about watching the music city miracle from like juvenile detention center yeah and knowing that he's done things wrong and yet he's still this pure like how does somebody go through that much adversity in life, get to the other side of this level of fame and fortune and have, you know, the ability to still be as sweet as he possibly as not be jaded, not have, you know, a chip on a shoulder about anything. He just wants to do the best he can with what he has and it just continues to be better and

better. That's him meeting with the Titans. He spoke to Congress about fentanyl issues, which is. And eloquently, too. Yeah. Beautiful. I was like, wow. And he's like, I used to sell drugs.

And now I'm sitting here saying, well, there was a problem with drugs in this country. Yeah. He's also someone, you know, when we talk about, like, people root for your downfall. And I assume it's a natural thing. I mean, I feel like, you know, I feel like, you know, when you people hate me, I go, okay, I think it's just normal, I guess. But then it really means a lot when people don't, when people, like, root for your success and, like, still love you.

It means a lot. And, like, and, like, Jelly came out. I did Bridgestone. And he came out to, like, like, be there for me. and like, celebrate it with me. And I did. I think I brought him on stage.

I think we sang a song at Bridgestone. And then the next time I'm in Nashville, he's like, hey, man, would you bring me on stage tonight? And I was like, I was like, yeah, sure. Yeah,

I was like, you know what? I think I have a thing. I have a show. I wish I could. Were you performing? And he was like, Titan Stadium. I went,

I could cancel. I would have canceled. What the fuck? Yeah. You mean 75,000 people? Are you shitting me? But like, he's just very regular. Like he, I mean, he's just so, and he really wants you to win.

He wants you to succeed. I love him to death. And bringing along the people that before he reaches his level of fame, like, bringing them to it and being like, hey, I'm doing this. I would love for you guys to be there type of mentality. It's just awesome. What's crazy is like Leanne and Bonnie are really close. They text all the time.

And don't, I do not know how that relationship happened. I don't, like, because they're very different women. They really are different women. But man, they're like fucking sisters. They text. He's part of the reason, because, you know, we're looking at properties and jelly just goes, hey, why don't I just give you a hundred of my acres or whatever? You guys can live on our land.

And the man's like, I could live with bunny. And I was like, hang on, wait. What fucking world are we living in? He did buy a crazy piece of land. He bought crazy. He's like, I got a good place up on a mountain. And I was like, so, yeah, we're looking at everything today. But I love him to death, man.

I love watching people succeed. It's funny shit to watch people succeed. It's fun. Like, Shane's the easiest one for me to put, because we all were there for it, right? We all watched it. But I remember being at, one of my favorite things in the world to do is bully Shane. I love bullying Shane. I love texting him and saying, hey man, you want to meet up for a drink this morning?

And he goes, no. And then I always write back, this is my favorite part. the unrelenting until I get him to break, his spirit to break. It's so fucking fun. Yeah. It's so fun to watch him crumble. Oh. So I texted him one time. And I go, yo, I'm at Rogan's Club at noon, partying.

You meet me there? And he's like, no. I was like, cool. Do you want me to send a car to get to? He's like, I'm not going. I go, hey, man, I'm just, I want to make sure I have the right drink for you. Like, you still drink a Bud Light? He's like, Bert, I'm not coming.

And I go, oh, Leanne, can't wait to see you. I'm so excited you're coming. And then he's like, fuck, I'm on my way. So he just eventually breaks. He comes over. And it's like, things are happening for shame. But, you know, it's like, we know it. But he comes and he goes, hey, man, can I tell you a secret?

I was like, yeah. So we'd go away from everyone, go back to a bar. And he's like, uh, I just got offered S&L. And I was like, dude, that moment for me, like, I love that shit. I, I started crying. And he was like, stop fucking crying, bitch. Come on. And he was like, and he got excited.

But like, why? Watching your boys blow up, it's fucking awesome. I just texted, I just texted Matt McCusker. Matt McCusker did two nights in Boston at Wilbur. I texted him. I was like, dude, congratulations. This is fucking awesome. That is fun.

More people should enjoy watching people succeed because it's fun as fuck. And it's, he did two nights at fucking the Wilbur. Do you know how hard that is to sell? He's funny too. I love how he, like, promos is fucking hysterical. I love how he's at like on Instagram. Like he'll like play the piano. He's, I saw a video, the one video that sticks with me.

He was holding his child reading a book. I was like, you're reading a book? Words are that interesting to you that you could, like he was like holding his child reading. I was like, what the fuck? I never read a book like, yeah, look, he's reading a book. He's reading. He's in it too.

He's focused. He's reading. That's so fucking weird. Like that's never, not in a million years of I. ever read like that where I was like taking care of my child and reading. Yeah, I mean, just reading in general, sitting down and being like, I'll make the decision to read is a very difficult thing to do, something we should all do. Yeah.

But a very difficult thing to just go and do it and put a child on your laps. It's a whole different ballgame. He's awesome, man. But yeah, like watching your friends pop, like Adam Ray, man. I've, I hit up Adam and we were in. Bro, he was so fun on the pod, too. He's amazing. He's so fun.

Yeah, but the thing is, it's like almost like you get, it's almost like you're proven, you get proven right. Because you get behind these guys, like Adam Ray, I hit him up. I was like, yo, you're from Seattle. I'm doing the arena in Seattle. Would you like to come and do it and bring your family out or whatever? And he's like, dude, that would be, I was like, cool. And then I get excited. I go, I'm going to make it about Adam this weekend. So I got us out to go meet coach Carol and go hang out with the Seahawks. Yeah, he was talking about that. Yeah. And he was like, this is fucking, I did it for Shane when we went and did the first fully loaded. He, we, I said, Our first show was at Notre Dame.

And I said, I got, we're going to go into the practice field, we're going to go see the stadium, we're going to do everything. Oh, nutting. I love doing that. I fucking love that more than anything. But Adam is fucking hysterical and he's smart and he's funny and he's quick and he's really just a brilliant comic. So then to watch him blow up in a weird way, it's like, yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

Like, I said, dude, I said it to stobby the other day. I go, if anything, I'm good at two things. introducing people and picking out talent. Like, I am really good at picking out talent. Like, I can tell you who the meeting the next guy is going to be always, always, I think. Who's the next guy? I think it's going to be me again.

Dude, it's Dobby is fucking hilarious. He's got a new movie called Let's Start a Cult, and it is fucking hysterical. It is fucking hysterical. Is that out now? It's out in theaters October 25th. Okay. And I'm, uh, and he,

we went to the screening and we were crying. It is all Stavi. Yeah. He carries the whole fucking movie. The other people in it are just as fucking funny, but it is, if you like Stavi's sense of humor, he wrote the movie. Within the first fucking minute of the movie, someone's playing with his nuts. I mean, it's fucking hysterical.

Dude, that is crazy to me, the level of talent that people have, of just writing and being able to see their vision and just put it, whether it's in a movie or on a, stage or anything like that. That shit is incredible. How much, obviously, you're the whole machine movie. You play yourself. But like, did you write that script? Because you obviously wrote the OG one when you actually robbed a train station or a train. I was with Juvenile. You remember Juvenile? The rapper? Yeah. Yeah. I was a juvenile in Mani Fresh the other day. And I was telling him about the Russian mafia. And Juvies like, I got to hear this story. I was like,

buddy, no one wants to hear it but you. You're the only one. No, I was very I was very hands-on in the writing in the script I would take I mean the very first day of writing I rewrote the entire opening scene

and so I rewrote a lot of it I was very hands-on It's also it's a little tricky because I When we got in there I didn't really have to memorize anything Because I was also so a part of writing it And then but I would rewrite scenes and then bring them in And then Mark Hamill would lose his fucking mind Why do you lose mind?

Because you know, you're not supposed to just rewrite a scene and they're bringing in that day and go, all right, guys, new sides. Everyone, let's all get up to speed. He would get pissed off. He was like, he was like, I was up all night learning this fucking scene

for our job today. He goes, you can't rewrite shit. I was like, oh, sorry. Yeah, it is happening anyway. What was it like working with Jimmy Tatro? I fucking love that. Dude, he's the man. He's awesome, isn't he?

I fucking love him. He makes me laugh. So, like, there's a couple people in this world that see me the way my sisters see me. Like, I'm ridiculous. I am ridiculous. But certain people

Just I don't know Jimmy Tatro and Nate Bargazzi are two people Who see me the way my sisters see me And Jimmy is he made me laugh So fucking much He just I'm just a ridiculous person And he told me a secret

He goes hey can I tell you a secret And I was like yeah I go I'm not good with secrets He goes well I gotta tell you this He tells me a secret And then I picked up my phone And I called someone and told them his secret in front of him.

And he goes, what are you doing? I said, what? He goes, I just told you not to tell anyone. And I was like, now I know,

but I'm telling Kale. And he goes, no, that was a whole idea of me telling you. But like, and I just, he, he,

he gets me. Him and Nate Bargazzi, for whatever reason, if they ever meet each other, they will get along so well. But yeah, Jimmy, I fucking love him like a brother.

Nate crushed it on SNL. Dude. Murdered. Crushed it on SNL. Nate, man, it's funny in a way that like I don't know

it's so effortless it's like he he I think Nate's one of the funniest human beings alive he is fucking funny man that George Washington's get was hilarious hilarious his tone his timing he is

he's really funny I was at the Riemann last night and me and Nate and Ari Sheffir were at the Riemann probably 10 years ago we were watching Angela Johnson perform none of us were selling any tickets anywhere. And Nate was like, one day that'll be us. And I was like, no fucking way. And he was like, no, what will I get here? And Nate's like, I'll get here. And I was like, I'll never get here. And I remember

saying out loud, I was like, because Angela Johnson has the nail salon. I said, give me one nail salon bit. I'll tell it for the rest of my fucking life. It'd get me on that stage. And then that was the machine. And the machine happened. Yeah. Yeah. Were you surprised at how much the fans loved your movie? Or did you know it was going to be awesome? No, I thought, um, I'll tell you, no, I, I knew it was a good movie. I knew it wasn't going to be what people expected. I knew it was an action movie and it was like fun. It was fast-paced.

I knew all that. I knew people would like it. I didn't know it was going to do as well as it did on Netflix. What I was not prepared for was any sort of negative stuff. I just was like, oh my God, they hated it. And I, and I, and I, and I, I talked about hanging with a golf cart and running you over. How did one sit you down and be like, hey, there might be a situation where people don't like the movie. they're going to say negative things.

I was so blindsided by that. I was so blindsided. I was like, I was like, well, yeah, I made a movie. I'm not supposed to make movies. Just like, what wouldn't you like about it? And they're like, it bombed in the box office. And I was like, well, yeah, everything's bombing. Like, I literally, I was so oblivious that Tommy who said to me, he's like, how, how are you doing with the release of the movie?

I was like, great. He was like, really? I was like, fucking amazing. He was like, Tom's like, check out this Reddit page. Yeah. Yeah. Tommy, he said to me and I go,

I hate to burst your bubble, but there's all this. I was like, why would they say that? And he was like, you put out a movie, man. People aren't going to like it. And I was like,

hold on. Wait, because, you know, no one ever says shit about your specials. Like, your specials just either, just do well.

Yeah. I remember, dude, this is how oblivious I am to things. I remember, I will say his name, but there was a comic. I'll say his name,

just edited it out. He put out, don't pull up the rotten tomatoes now. Get me another fucking twist the TV. He got that up on the thing. So, the, he,

he had put out a trailer for a special, and it was getting slammed in the comments. And I remember going, I remember, I was traumatized by it. I was like, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This can happen? I was like, what do you mean? Why would people not like your stand-up? Like, just don't watch it.

It's not for you. I, I was so caught off guard. Because, like, negativity wasn't like, I just, you never saw negativity. Like, you just didn't. It's like, you did a podcast,

and like, yeah, he got backlash if he said something bad but like everyone was always on your side when that movie came out man people fucking there were people that hated me and I was like what how are they gonna hate you for it though

I don't know I don't say I'm hating you I don't know I think I think I think a lot I think what were they hate what were they hating about it just me I think I don't know I think the fact that I was like I think that I probably the promotion of it um

I don't know I was was so oblivious. I had such blinders on in that whole period of my life that I was just moving as fast as I could forward in everything. Like in this time, I had a special come out. I had this come out. I had a European tour. I had an Australian tour. I had so much going on that I just was like, I don't know, everything was in front of me. It's like driving in New York. I just looked in front of me. I never looked behind me. And then when this came out and razzle-dazzle did well, I had an arena tour. Like I had all this shit going on. That was the first time I'd, I mean, I was oblivious to it too.

I remember having breakfast with Christy Mack and her boyfriend in Beverly Hills in a beautiful hotel getting drunk that morning, being, smoking a cigar on my car, being like, fucking the world's my oyster. Yeah. And then I saw Tommy and Austin, I was still on Cloud 9 and he was like, he's like, how are you doing? I said, great. He was like, how's the movie?

I said, fine, awesome. It's great. He was like, you sure? I was like, what? Some people don't like it. And I was like, who? He was like, I don't know. People.

And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, I don't know. Like, take a look at this. And I was like, what the fuck, Tom? Why would you show that to me? He was like, I don't know. You should know. And I was like, no, I was better being not knowing.

Yeah. And but then it came out on Netflix and it was like trended as number one movie for like a month. And people love it. I've never had anyone. That's the weird thing. It's like people say stuff online. But like in person, people just give you love. Like I really am not online at all.

these days. Like, I don't read any comments. I don't read anything. You just interact with people. I'm never, I take pictures everywhere I go. I was at the Ryman last night. I took pictures all the way up until the show started. All anyone did was give me love and Nashville I get love. So I just, I kind of go by that, you know? It's like, it's like COVID. Do you remember? It's like the swab. It's uncomfortable. It goes up your nose. It hurts. And yeah, it goes you have COVID. Or you could not take the test and just go, I don't believe in COVID. Yeah. That's a nice little. That's a nice. That's a nice one. Hey, you don't read comments? I don't.

You don't? You don't read comments? Uh-uh. I don't read any fucking comments. Pete, you don't read comments? Every now and then you want to get a poll? No, no, no.

I'm never on, I'm, I am off comments. I am off comments. Are you off social media? Like, do you, are you running your social media or somebody else running your social media? This is how, this is how. Then when you do to get on a post, you might like check it all. No, no. No, no.

I look at likes. I look at likes and I look at number of comments. So, like, I'll go, like, I'll go into Instagram. Let's see. I'll show exactly what I do. So I go into Instagram. I go to my page. Right.

And then I'll look at like, this is a thing with Judd. So we just had Judd on, or I had Judd on for two bears. 10,000 views, 10,000, 246,000 views, three likes or whatever. And I go, well, that's odd. A lot of people watching and a lot of people liking it. It's because Judd's a little. Describe it. It's because it's Judd and, you know, podcast.

Podcast fans are like, anyone who ever stood up for wokeness, they just hate them. And so Judd's a little bit of a volatile character online. Jimmy Kimmelon. They fucking hated Jimmy. And Jimmy's a sweet guy. Really? Yeah. Dude, you can predict what the internet's going to like.

You can just go, like, I was shocked that you guys thought you'd get any pushback about having Trump on. Like, when I heard you guys talk about, like, some people aren't going to like you, I was like, who? The internet love. Trump. Yeah, but there was still some pushback. I mean, there were text messages too. Yeah, we got some long. Grownups probably didn't like you. Like, you got a, you got phone calls from people's parents, but like the internet loves Trump. Right. All and all. Yeah. Internet. Theo had Trump on and the internet got erect immediately. Yeah. And you're like, yeah. Do you think, but like,

2020, the internet hated Trump, but it, but then Elon Musk buys Twitter. And now it seems like everywhere you go, people are loving Trump. Yeah. Like, why do you see, you, think that's a massive difference maker is Elon or somebody else owning Twitter? I think I mean I haven't been on Twitter I haven't been on Twitter since it can't turn into X. Really? I'm anti-musk. No I just I hate Elon Musk. It was it was such a fucking negative place that it's like it Twitter is or X is where probably the most negativity is. Yeah I can't I don't I don't want that in my life like I don't want you to be able to affect my day meaning if you're listening and you're like God damn I fucking hate Bert. I'm cool with that. I get that. That's part of the job. However, I don't need

you getting into my day, fucking my day up. Like, I want to be able to walk to the office, have a great fucking day, have a cocktail and smile. And your opinion of me, as valid as it may be, I don't need to know it. I don't need to know it. Also, if you love me, I can't allow that to affect me either. I've got to make sure that my day is controlled within my parameters and I can have a beautiful day with no exterior. I don't, you know? So, like, that's why I don't fuck around with comments. That's why I don't fuck around online.

Have you always had that conclusion? No, no. Yeah. What was the thing that was like, all right, I got to, I can realize that this is affecting me way more than it showed good or bad. Oh, the, there was, um, I mean, there was a period, I think probably right when the movie came out that I was, I would, I would read. There was a, after, after Tom showed.

Yeah, it's definitely Tom. Yeah. Tom lives in time. Tom reads comments. Shane reads comments. Mark Norman reads comments. They all read everyone, there are people that read their own Reddit pages of themselves.

Oh my God. I just was like, I was like, dude, there's a kid. I remember telling someone this. There's a kid who doesn't have a great life. He's fucking miserable. He works at fucking Walmart. And he maybe stock stuff in the back. His dad left his mom and him a long time ago.

He lives in an apartment in Nashville. I don't know this kid, but this is a kid. It's got to be. He's losing his hair. He's skinny. He's never really had any. muscle structure. Women have never really taken to him.

He doesn't have a lot of friends. What he does have is podcasting. And God damn it, he hates Bert Kreischer. Well, I don't, in real life, I don't care about this person. However, if this person leaves a negative comment and I read it, all of a sudden, this person owns my fucking day. Yeah. And I was like, that's impossible.

I can't allow that to be a real thing. I can't allow this kid who works at Walmart, shelving stuff. His employees don't respect him. His dad left his mom when he was young. He's got nothing. going on. But God damn it, he is in the fucking head of this comedian. And I'm fucking sitting there and I can't enjoy my polar blunge because this fucking kid at Walmart, I get this kid's, I'm in my sauna. Yeah. I'm, I'm fucking, it's wild that that was a real

scenario in my life that there would be someone that would. And you know, there was like, what's even crazier. I'm going to give this kid a shout out because there's a kid. Um, fuck is, I forgot his name. crack de miko okay crack de miko shout out to the kid he's very talented crack a micco crack amico crackomico crackomico I think's his name uh I got and look it's we have a weird history because he wrote a really hateful song about me and Tom that Ari was like you gotta why people love the negativity but Ari's like you gotta watch it you gotta watch it so I watch it and I'm like I didn't enjoy it I mean it's horrible don't pull it I don't even want to see it and uh Sure, you were about to, too, weren't you? Oh, it's bad. It's bad. It's bad. I mean, it hurts my, it hurt my feelings. Like it, and it fucked a weekend up for me.

A weekend, I could, I was just really bothered by it. They called me on Legion of Skanks and they were like, what did you think of it? And I was like, it sucked. I was like, I wish I hadn't seen it. I wish I hadn't seen it. And I wish it was about someone else. I tell him, what are you looking for? And then he, and then he said, uh, and then he did an apology video.

He sent me a DM, this guy. He was like, man, I'm sorry. I'm a huge fucking fan. And it's clear when you watch this song, this guy has to be a massive fan of mine to have the amount of information about me that he does. It's impossible not to. He knew who my dad's old clients were.

Like, he knew shit that only a mega fan would know. And he said, I'm so sorry. I am a massive fan. And I got caught up in the hate to get views. And he put out a huge apology video. And then I realized like, and then he got attacked. He got attacked really bad.

And then he had to double back and be like, it was all a joke. I was just trying to get burnt. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't care. It's tough.

You get into that little spin zone. It's hard. Yeah. But I remember thinking, poor, I've seen him in person. He's a smaller statured dude. He's a nice guy. I saw him at Skanksfest recently. He was terrified of me.

Like he didn't, I wanted to say hi to him and he ran away. I know. But you go, why would you ever let that guy affect your fucking life? Why would you ever allow someone who's, who is online saying something negative, ruin your parents weekend with your daughter.

Like I got one weekend to spend with my daughter. I'm going to get on a comment and let it fuck my day up. Right. Like it just didn't, it didn't, none of that. That's why I don't fuck with comments. And the negative, the positive ones are, you don't, they don't, it's like, how can a negative one do so much damage to me? But a positive one, I just go glance past. Yeah.

Oh, that was nice move on. Dude, you're legend. Whatever. Right. Next. You're a legend. Next. Next.

Dude, I fucking, you're my favorite community. Okay. Whatever. Oh, you're a fat fuck who tells the same story over and over again. God damn it. Like what the fuck? Yeah, let me spend some time on this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It's like, live for the cheers, died by the booze. Dude, think about it with athletes. I think about it with athletes way more. Oh, brother, that, trust me, Will and I had that conversation a bunch of times. Who's the, because it's so fucked because you're doing your best. It's not like you're not doing your best. And then you fail.

And then your whole city hates you. And then the next week, you got to go out and try to win again for the people that fucking hate you. Right. Fuck off. Yeah. Fuck off. I mean, this is a great, great photo to pull up, Deshawn Watson. This weekend tore his Achilles and people are cheering about it.

Happy about it. Like this guy tore his Achilles might never be the same ever again. Could, you know, who knows? Surgery could go wrong. Could be done playing football forever. And people are like stoked that he's done. Can you imagine having to do comedy for people that hated you? And what, like that's the thing that fucks me up.

What a feeling when you win that room over? Oh. Do you ever see Bill Burr? Philly? No. It's the greatest. Philly hated him? Hold on.

And I apologize to Bill if I'm retelling something that he, you know, he didn't care about. He doesn't. It's just one of the most epic things. I mean, it's like he goes in and does a show in Philly. I'm paraphrasing. I would say anyone should go out and watch the video. It's that fucking better. I'm going to paraphrase.

He goes out and does the Opie and Anthony tour in Philly. And they booed the comic before him. And the second he gets up, he tries to. material and they start booing Bill and Bill goes no fuck you you know what I got 14 minutes left and I'm gonna take every bit of that time to tell you why your city sucks and he starts roasting the city of Philadelphia and it's brilliant in all of it because he's he's really picking he's a sports guy so he knows everything about Philly right and he grew up in Boston so he really can take apart Philly but he keeps going back to the clock he goes five minutes left five fucking minutes and the

room turns and they start cheering him on and he wins the room it is the most epic fucking it is quintessential bill burr if you know bill this is how his brain works and he fucking turns an arena to cheering for him about him making fun of them it's fucking brilliant that is incredible dude he is so funny he is he is uh i love him i love him to death his yeah hey it's us the jonas brothers and guess what we have some big news what's the news news news we created our own podcast called hey jonas we invented a podcast well we didn't invent it we just contributed to it we just contributed to us pretty yeah pretty wide range of podcasts we're starting a trend but this one's extra special so how did we how do we actually come up with the name hey jonas guys i honestly

don't remember i think it was on a call about what we should call it and oh we were thinking i'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, Hey, Jonas.

And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games.

Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hardway with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests. I'm talking Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it.

And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross, because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on Earth? Are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely.

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You get emotional? No, no, not at all. Okay. No. We had a period where we weren't talking. Hard pause there. I got nervous. Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah. And it was, it sucked for both of us, I think, you know. But it's like, you know, we're in comedy world. We're all like brothers, you know, like especially like.

I was going to say, how does it get to a point to where you guys aren't talking? Yeah. It's easy, actually, because we don't see each other unless you're at the clubs. We didn't see each other at the clubs.

You know, it's like I could very easily get to a point where I'm not talking with a lot of people because it's like we're living our own lives. And we're reaching out and, you know, we had a podcast together and, and, and, you know, it was like the day that we kind of reconnected was that,

I'm sharing this and I know this would bother Bill. I know it would. So I'll shut up. Fair enough. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But by the way, right now, right now Bill's bird is going,

shut the fuck up. Yeah. How did he shut his goddamn mouth? Yeah, I love him He's a dude He's got a beautiful mind The way he's able to dissect things And who was the guy who used to do

Daily show that he sat on his show And they just made fun of him the whole time It was a recent episode of something that came up It was a whole year than now Type of situation I forget who it was And if you can't pull it up That's perfectly fine

Because I don't have a whole lot of stuff He's just he is just fucking masterful And honestly Generous and I love them to death. It's, I love, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's, the greatest minds in the world are my friends. Like,

the, like, the fact that, like, thank you for saying that about us, man. Yeah.

But you know, I love you guys more than anything. The feeling is definitely mutual. Yeah. I said, I'm sitting outside, let's see you guys talk about sports. I'm like,

God damn it. That's like, it's crazy. It's crazy now that, like, you guys, it was never going to be this way. Football was supposed to be the highlight of your life.

That's it. That was the mountaintop. You did it. It's over. And you guys have created a paradigm within which the biggest moments of your life are still ahead of you. It's fucking insane. I mean, look at Pat McAfee. That fucking guy is epic.

I mean, fucking insane. Could you imagine if Pat McAfee decided to listen to everybody that was like, hey, you're a punter, just be a punter? Right. Right, right, right, right. I mean. Yep. Every move he's made. There's been criticism.

Yeah. Right. The biggest, like, what is it? the biggest boundary you have is your own imagination or what you believe you're allowed to do and not allowed to do because it really is you're absolutely right like pat is a guy that in the sports world especially made in general just on top of the absolute world yeah and called him nuts crazy get helmet back on him why is retiring i thought i thought he was a little out of his mind when he started his podcast and i saw how much he was investing in it because i remember we were all doing like

we all just had like a zoom in a couple mics right and then we went to i remember going to pass going like you have a building? Like you have a building? Like you have a building? You have employees? Like who the fuck? What? And I was like, I was like, okay. And then in my head I was like, is this the future?

And he was, and he was just, I think he's just, he's just fucking dialed in. Can I tell you someone else who's sneaky dialed in that you'd never think it? I think is fucking Theo. Oh, yeah. Theo is like, you know, it's like talk about under promise overperform. Theo fucking Vaughan, man. That guy, I was texting with him the last night. This made me feel so fucking in my feelings about it.

It goes. I was like, Kevin Talton. You want to hang out or something? He's like, yeah, he's like, I can't tonight. I'm preparing for a podcast. And I went, we're supposed to be preparing for these? He's done an incredible job. When we did Trump.

So I went, I listened to a couple of podcasts, wrote some notes down. But when I got to, like, Chicago to do the episode, I was like, all right, we got it. I know I got Will. I know there's always like anytime things aren't doing like there's, you feel like there's something, you can always just turn to Will. We can just talk for a little bit

and then find our way to a new question. So in my mind, I'm feeling very confident, very comfortable. It's like 30 minutes before he comes on. And Will is writing notes looking at something. I'm pretty sure you had headphones in. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my God.

Like, what is there something I'm not doing right now that I should absolutely be doing? The panic that ensued in my body. I literally got the piece of paper out and I started just writing. things on a piece of paper that didn't even fucking make sense. Because I feel like I should just be doing this also because he's

doing this when I feel a whole lot better when I do a little bit less actually. But because he was so prepared and we sat there for six hours before the episode. That's what was brutal about that. Yeah. Because if you go and you're like, all right, we have this big guest coming on. The first time you came on before we're familiar with you, it's like, yo, we got fucking burr on the episode.

Your whole goal is the minute you walk here is like get him on the bus as soon as possible because you don't want to have like the small talk where you're like, don't talk about things, blah, blah, blah. And so we sit there with this for six hours, for a couple of Secret Service guys, all the conversations you could have are already done. And now it's just like, now we have an hour and a half.

Now we got there at three to do all the Secret Service stuff. And we were supposed to be that three. We were probably going to sit down to interview him at like six. And then there was a little hope that we might get him on a little earlier. I don't think we sat down with them until like 9 p.m. at night. Right. So we are for a legitimate, we're like tracks in that little conference room.

Unless you go potty and then the Secret Service guys got to escort you go. Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't even think about it. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, it was, and that's, yeah. I'm preparing for my Putin interview. You do a Putin? I'm getting Putin.

I know everything about that guy. He's coming in a plane in Austin, Texas. Yeah, I'm fucking, I'll fly that, right. I told, I was, I was going to go to Russia to promote the movie. And so I was like, well, maybe, maybe it's a bad time. I mean, you make it out. But also, that's a whole new special. Yes, you got that motherfucker now.

That's a nice little thing. I'd definitely bring a bait pen in. The, uh, yeah, that's a, hey. Yeah, whatever happened to Britney Gras. She's still playing? Is she still? She's still hooping? Nice.

She's doing it. Hey, but on your point with Theo, yeah, I feel like he is like reaching insane new stratosphere is because his pod, like the way he started because I've followed Theo like since he's been podcasts out in LA and everything else, the Rat King. And now it feels like he's becoming like a Rogan-S-style podcast where he has all these massive names and all these massive people, but he does it his style and his way. And making the chain. I believe it was during COVID or around that time

where he was like, I'm leaving LA, I'm going to go to Nashville. Right. When he was doing a whole bunch of stuff with Shab and DeLea and all that. And it's like, this guy's kind of taking away his lifeline a little bit because he was always kind of in a group of people as opposed to being solo. Right. And taking that by the balls and rolling is extremely impressive. I mean, Trump on them Bernie Sanders.

Like, yeah. Just wow. And then he has a plumber. Yeah. Yeah. And the numbers suggest as well. Yeah. People are really there for Theo.

I will tell you, I will tell you this. and I think Theo would even attest to this. Me and Amy Schumer realized how brilliant he was when we did. We did a reality show called Reality Bites Back on Comedy Central probably like 12 years ago. And Theo Vaughn was without question on the final episode of that show, the funniest individual anyone's ever witnessed speak aloud. we were crying laughing from the for the whole Amy Schumer and I were like he is going to be the best comic ever if it and this was a thing I was like if he can figure out how to do what he's doing right now on stage that and he and I'm being for real he didn't for a while like because this was like

probably 15 years ago 12 years ago that's it is that the episode that fucking that person right there made me and Amy Schumer laugh harder than any. I've never laughed that hard. Mike William Black was like, dude, this guy's a genius. Everyone, Donnell Rollins, Theo's the funniest man alive. And he figured out, he just cut some of the bullshit out. And he is today, that guy, man, we saw it, we got the first taste of it that night. And we were like, this is, this man will be unstoppable. And he's, and he's the sweetest fucking guy. You know how sweet this motherfucker is? I'm a, I love little secret stuff. you landed the podcast with your ladies

fucking you know Theo showed up to give her love he pulled up to say hey Leanne first live show I just wanted to say hi congratulations that's who the fuck that guy is that's awesome you don't ever like that shit goes down on my book forever like that's like he's a real dude

that's all time when it comes to the podcast stuff like you with Rogan him starting did you guys ever imagine that would be To be so bad I mean, is that the craziest shit in the world? No, dude.

Because you see the clip of him. He was on somebody else's show that kind of gave him the brainchild to make the Joe Rogan experience. And we all, I mean, you're obviously friends with him, but everybody who listens to podcasts has come across Rogan one way or another

and most of the time become fans. Yeah. And he's got the largest podcast in the entire world. Like, did you guys ever think that was going to be no? Such a massive opportunity

for views and everything and getting to say, your specials and your movie coming on, all that. Dude, it's why I have a hard time understanding the way people see Joe today because I just know that Joe. Like, I just know the Joe like, like it's funny.

I like to go back and listen to old episodes of his because that's the Joe I remember. This, I mean, he's brilliant. He's always been a brilliant dude. He's always been ahead of the curve. And I'll say that I knew something was up with the podcast. the first time I did it and I got like 6,000 followers on Twitter immediately. And I was like, whoa.

And then the next time I did it, I put out the machine shirt. Mm-hmm. And I sold like 25 grand in shirts by the weekend. And I was like, whoa. And we did six figures in shirts in the first month. And I was like, whoa, this is like, I mean, you kind of knew. Then there's like a moment where and, and then when we did like sober October and and just the ground swell around it.

And that's why I also say like, that's why negative stuff. caught me off guard because you only like it was overwhelmingly positive. If you went on Rogan, it was overwhelmingly positive. It was like, dude, you guys are losing weight. Bert got his beard shaved and everyone, Tom's fat, pray for Joe. And it was like crazy. I think the time I started noticing negativity really honestly was when I got drugged by Ari. And not everyone thought it was bad.

And I remember going like, oh, there are people that call me a bitch because I got upset by it. And I was like, oh, this is weird. It was crazy because it was our friendship and it was our, it was our friends. It was like, you know, I might talk to Joe every day, probably an hour, that whole October, probably every day for an hour. And I talked to him because I was really upset by it. But I don't think any of us ever thought it was going to be what it is. I don't think any of us ever saw this for him. I mean, and I still to this day, like, I was with him the other day and I was like, I was like, what?

like he's signed that new deal or whatever and I was like what's it like what's it like to be like that rich like I never thought I'd know someone that had that much money and he was just like oh no like he's do you mean he's still Joe to me like he's still like you know and he's like I don't know man like he's like my favorite Joe moment is we were high and he was like how many fish do you think we'd have if if you could throw a fish 10 feet in the air and it grew wings and it would fly how many fish do you think we'd have on this earth and I was like the fuck you talking about yeah yeah what does that even mean but that's joe rogan like that's who he is he's a silly like you backstore at the at the at the mothership

that's joe rogan like when i see him interview some of these fucking people i go i don't know that guy at all i don't really like i don't understand i how he read the guy's book before the fucking thing right yeah i'm like what the fuck ultimate curiosity dude ultimate ultimate curiosity but the rogan i know is the one that you get there i mean this is like the this anyone that's done that's good friends with joe would this Joe. The Joe that you do the podcast with and then you play pool with for an hour smoking weed and talking shit. That's the Joe I know.

Like that's the fucking. But he's, I mean, he's, he saw it early. Like he was, he was told all of us to get podcasts. He's like, get a podcast. Immediately. Get a podcast. I was like, I'm better as a guest. And he's like, no, get a podcast.

Get a podcast. You got to have a podcast. Dude, I'm telling you this is going to change a fucking world. Dude, thank God I listen to him. Thank fucking God. Thank God for. Joey Diaz and Tom's a girl that came over to my house on a Sunday when my dad, we were having Easter Sunday. They came over. Tom hit record, gave us all mics, and I did my first podcast. Tom said,

don't edit it. Just put it up. And now you got to do it every week. And thank God he did that because it changed my life. I mean, Tom, it's amazing all the people that affect you in certain ways that have a positive effect in your life. And it's funny to see who people see Tom as. I just know Tom is a guy who counts your burps in a car, you know? Like, that's Tommy. Like, he's just, he's, I, I, I know him as the fat Tom. I, I don't, I don't think of him as having money ever. I know that he has money, but I, all I remember is poor Tom, who would plug his phone in

across the room because he only had one charger. And then he'd just walk across the room to get his fucking phone. Like, I only know, like, I remember when he got addicted to, uh, pecan pies. And he started eating like two or three pecan pies a day. A day. Oh, he used to travel with hot sauce. pocket. He had the hot sauce on him all the time. Dude, I, my, I, I, I love, my fucking favorite moment of Tommy is, and this is worthy of someone Googling and watching for yourself.

We went to Hawaii, me and Tom, and, uh, with Russell Peters. And the very first day, Tom's, uh, hairy is fuck? And I go, dude, let me shave your back. And he goes, you sure? I said, yeah, let me shave your back. So I shave his back. And he's shaving his back. I realized there's so much hair on him that like, I was like, dude, your, your armpit hair connects with your chest hair. That shouldn't happen. I go, let me hollow that out for you. And he goes, what do you mean? I said, I'll just clean it up. I'm going to clean it up. So it looks to fine. It looks like you have muscles. And he's like, you sure? And I was like, yeah, I'm drunk. He's drunk. And I shave his one tit, like to hollow it out. And as I pull back, as I pull back, I realize it looks like his tits are wearing sunglasses.

glasses. And he gets fucking livid because it's our first day in Hawaii and he looks ridiculous. And I can't stop fucking laughing. I am crying laughing. It's the hardest I've ever laughed because it looks insane. And now he has to walk around Hawaii looking like this all fucking week. God. I didn't know he was that fat. Oh, bro. Oh, hold on. Look up some of his earlier special. If there's ever been a little bit if there's ever been an ad for his epic. Let me tell you. This fucking guy. he was so fucking fat. He was, type in, just have fun, and Google Fat Tom. And it is fucking insane how fat he was. Massive.

Yeah, I did not know that. Massive. Oh, my God. And you know, he was like a stud growing up. Like recruited to play football places, jawline, chint. Look at, that's not him. That's not him. Sherm's out there grabbing another tweet.

He'll get you up back and, be able to dial it all. I'll tell you the one thing, one thing that I wish I had. That's him? I don't know if he was that. That's him. That's him.

That's him. That's him. That's him right there's him? That's Tom. That's Tom Seguera. That's Tom Seguerra. I mean, bro. That's fucking Tom'sugura.

Big boy. Big boy. Big boy. If there was one thing. Four stairs, tired out of breath boy. If there was one thing you admire in him that you wish you had, and if there's one thing you admire in him that you wish you had, what would it be? Say, say that again?

So like, I look at Tommy and I go, The one thing I wish I had that Tommy has is he doesn't care what people think about him. Like really. That is beautiful. It's insane. It's insane. When he went after pro wrestling, I was like, yeah, Tom. We have friends that are like professional wrestlers.

Like, he's like, okay. I go, yeah, but I think a lot of people are going to get upset and you just, yeah, I don't give a fuck. He really doesn't care at all. It's insane. You know, he doesn't care on such a fucking level. Like he doesn't, like when we go do. Rogan, he's like, no, I got a heart out. I can only do an hour today.

And you're like, dude, it's Rogan. Let's do three hours. He's like, no, I'm leaving. He just doesn't care. He can sit silently in a car and not talk for a fucking six-hour car ride, just not speak to you. He's insane. I wish I could not.

I wish I could not. So, like, what's one thing that you see him do that you go, I wish I had more of that, and what's one thing you see him have that you go, I wish I could be more like that. Probably Taylor's, um, obsessive discipline with his health. Okay. Really? Well, thank you. Yeah, like when Taylor wants to get something done health-wise, he stays dialed in.

Now, obviously, like, we'll have our times where we splurge and do all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not talking about that stuff. The boys were nasty on that gas station, didn't we? You know what I'm talking about, like when he gets dialed in on something health-wise that he wants to get done and accomplished, like it gets accomplished. Really? Are you working out right now? Yeah, yeah. Can't tell you.

That's up, dude. No, I mean, you look amazing. No, I literally, it's funny. that because literally for the last two months I've been traveling and moving around so much that I've just treated my body like a sewer. I know it pisses you off too. I know because I just I

do love I found myself loving routine and enjoying routine and figuring out okay I'm going to get up in the morning I'm going to do this and then I'm going to go and as soon as work is done I'm going to immediately get home as fast as possible spend as much time my family as possible. Don't pull this shit up.

I did a thing for a redwood outdoor No free shoutouts. But yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I... And he was that way in football too. Yeah, very... But yeah, you were, you, I think you've got that.

I would have loved. You've been not like as intense. Yeah. One thing I love about Will that I wish I had more of is how truly intentional he is with things. Like if we, like when we do the, our locker room that comes out on Wednesdays, he's so intentional about what he's going to say and what his picks are and how he's going to say it.

to where I really enjoy going somewhere and then figuring out what I'm going to say there. I think there's a lot of fun in that for my brain to be like, okay, like, let me try to maneuver and figure out my best way to make my friend smile, laugh, or ask a good question. What I see Will do kind of like the Trump thing is like the ability to prepare in a way that is extremely effective and extremely intentional about the way he does it, that I just don't have that. The best part of that interview was the last two questions. Yeah. And they were all by...

That was really smart. That was really smart. Because you ended up getting like 10 more minutes out of him. Because he was done. Oh, yeah. And then you were like, actually, I have one more question and go, now I actually have one. It's a follow up. And that was the best part of that interview.

Yeah. That was really smart. Yeah. It was a special thing. And that was nice. You made us do that. Yeah. I wish Tommy, if I was going to say, now as I'm talking to you two, if I was like,

I wish Tommy had more of the thing you. you guys have. Like Tommy and I are close, but we're close in a weird way. Like, we're really close, but not, like,

publicly, if that makes sense. Like, you guys team up really well together. Like, when you guys do stuff like beer Olympics, like you could never get Tommy to do beer Olympics.

You could never get him to do that. He did promise when he was at the Super Bowl. He did break that promise. He broke that promise. Like, even this. Now I'm going to fucking tell a secret. But Tommy wasn't going to come to the premiere of my movie.

I know. Yeah. Oh, you knew that? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I think,

Like, because he just doesn't give a fuck. Like, he just really doesn't give a fuck about a lot of things. And so he goes, yeah, I'm not going to make it. I'm just coming in. I'm going to be on the road. And it really fucked me up. And I was like, I was like, I would go anywhere for him. Like, right?

But he's like, yeah, I just, I can't do it. And you're like, what? I mean, I got emotional. And then he showed up and surprised me. And I cried on the fucking red carpet. But I was like, like, I love, like, if, and maybe it's because we live in different cities, though, now is that we're, you know, we're so. where it seems like we're so distant where like we only see each other to do the podcast, you know?

Like I wish it was, I wish we could go back to COVID. Do you guys miss COVID at all? I miss going for the late night risk games we would play. Yes, dude. And it was like a weekday too, like a Tuesday night. Because we do like, that's one thing that I was interested in is your guys' relationship being in different cities. Like you probably cherish the times you're together a lot more.

We dump, we emotionally dump on each other when we see each other. Like just everything comes out. And then, uh, and then we pod. And what's, it's only this sucks a little bit is like, because we're in different cities, we don't really like, um, we don't really get to hang out as much, you know, because if we hang out, we're like, we might as well monetize it. Let's fucking do a podcast. That's kind of, I mean, that's kind of where we sit a little bit too.

Like there's been a couple times where Taylor's been out of town or Charles been out town and one of us is like, hey, this weekend. Let's get the boys together. Yeah. Let's do X, Y, and Z. And then you just spend every single day with each other. And it's kind of like the weekend comes and goes. and you're like, oh yeah, we didn't hang out, did we?

Because you're just together all the time. I'll tell you something crazy. All of the time. Long time ago. I remember talking to Rogan on the phone. This is bizarre. And he was like, we got into a really good conversation. He's like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah, save it.

Why don't you come over, let's podcast? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, good call. I hung up, drove out podcast, had the same conversation. Because you're like, yo, it's such a good conversation. That's how most of our Mondays are. We'll show up. We'll start talking about things.

Wait, yeah, yeah, let's just wait. We'll just wait until we get on the bus. Oh, it's, but you know it's crazy. It's like the conversations Tommy and I do have that aren't on the podcast are so, would be such great podcasts. Like, it's just gossip and like drama and like, I mean like, I don't know. A couple of gals spilling tea. Yeah.

Oh, I remember when, you know, when you're not thinking about what you say. You're just having a conversation. Yeah. The good thing with us, too, though, is like we do this, uh, the fall tour. We, we do, we do different tours where we're traveling around going games together so we get to do like fun shit like that that gets considered like we're working but ultimately we're having we couldn't do that we can't we cannot tour together we are very different toward people yeah oh like it would not go well or no too well to the point where it would not be

good no it would never go well he is I mean I am I am I right in assessing this Tom when we did the super we did the Super Bowl just recently yeah yeah me and him did uh with Shane and we brought Shane and and Bobby Lee with us. My green room was fucking awesome. Nate Diaz, Guy Fietti, Jimmy Kimmel,

fucking a bunch of pro athletes, fucking Shane and Bobby and fucking everyone's having cocktails. Tom had his own green room where there was a red light and Tom sitting in a chair. I swear, am I not,

am I making this up? Tom sits by himself in his green room with a red light. He changes all the rest of and he just sits there. Why? Because he's a fucking lunatic. I went to his show at the forum and,

and he just is sitting in a red, and I go, what are you doing? And he doesn't drink. He doesn't really party. He's just relaxing, you know? He had too short at his fucking show with the forum. I went to go see his, what's so crazy is I was at his show on the forum

and some guy was like, you guys are really friends? And I was like, yeah. He's like, you came to support your friend. I was like, yeah. Like, we're regular. But Tom's in his room with a red light by himself. I went into two shorts room and got fucking lit. I was like, why would you fucking sit in Tom's room? He is such a drip. He like just sits

like, and like he gets done the show and he's like, well, would you like to get a steak maybe or go to bed? You're like, I'm like, no, man, we're going to get fucking loose. And he's like, no. Yeah, he had too short. I saw too short. I got fucking freaked out. I call him Todd Shaw. Do you ever get, do you ever get Tom to like truly bask in what he's done with his life? He just seems like a guy that is just like, like you said, doesn't give a fuck and just kind of move forward. Do you ever get him to sit there and be like, hey, look how much you've accomplished. Look how much you've done. And him be like, oh my God, that's so cool.

Yeah. Do you think he ever pinches himself being like, I can't believe this. We're getting to do this stuff? No. If it all went away, he wouldn't give a fuck. Like he doesn't, none of it. Tom is very disconnected from his ego. Like he doesn't, standing ovation doesn't mean anything to him.

It doesn't affect him the way it affects me. If I get a standing ovation, sometimes I'll cry. I'll get emotional. I'll be like, because I feel it. I feel it. it like uh like look at him he's just like this head down like this like don't please you know that's fucking he looks like he's getting arrested they're on their feet and i'm fucking cheering on the words you said which is the craziest thing about being a comic yeah like you just said words in a way

that made people go that's fucking that's funny yeah and people like it so much that they're standing up and clapping for you and his effect and burrs this way a little bit like they're both like the the praise and the adulation maybe i don't know i i don't know i don't I don't know. I don't know if they, if they find it gross, you know, to bask in it or, and I don't know, but they're very similar men where they're just like, yeah, thank you. And they just walk off. Dude, I fucking, I mean, like, there was a period of time where I could get a standing ovation if I wanted one.

Like, I knew how to do it. Like I would, I'd be like, thank you. And then turn my back and go three, two, one. Oh, here we go. No shit. I did it to Ari one time, and I've never seen Ari lose his mind more. I told him, like, Ari's like, I've never had a standing ovation. I said, you can get one if you want one.

He's like, what? And I said, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll show you this. If I want one, I can show you how I do it. I just, what I do is I go, thank you. And then I go to get my shirt. And as I grab my shirt, I turn around. And then you see one person, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, guys, please don't.

Please don't. And then everyone stands up. And Ari was like, are you fucking kidding me? And I was like, yeah, yeah. But like guys like Tom and Ari and they would never think about that. But I don't know. I'm fucking broken. I'm fucking broken.

I'm fucking broken. Dude, if you give me a standing ovation, I will get emotional. I love it. It's fucking awesome. I love. And when people say, hey, man, I love your podcast or I love you, I mean something to me. I go, oh, thank you. You know, so.

Yeah. I've cried so much on podcasts. The one of the ugly cry, too. All my cries are ugly Oh my god Which one's that one? I love how it's just subtitles Ballin.

Balling. Chris DeStefano. Yes. Oh, I cried at the end Fucking, hold on. This is not fair. Everyone should cry at the end of fucking of Mice and Men.

Balling. I get to feed the rabbits. This was Tom saying he was like, I was like Lenny and he was like George. Yeah. I don't think I've seen this movie.

Are you fucking kidding me? What's the movie called? of mice and men? No. Do I get to feed the rabbits, George? I've never seen it either. Tell me like it's going to be. Tell me like it's going to be

with the alfalfa? You've never seen it? No. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you? We had to read the book. Oh my God. And then we, this is not,

we were breaking down mentally disabled. The one of you and DeStefano. Hey, it's us to Jonas brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news? Huge news. We created our own podcast called,

Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special. So how did we actually come up with a name, Hey Jonas, guys?

I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. And we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band. Before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast,

where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged.

It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise.

Breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games,

from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants. answer. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. The Stephanie starts crying about him not being around his kid and stuff like that. I mean, obviously having a kid in traveling as much as I do just hit different.

I shocked everybody at that point in time. Here's a thing. Here's the thing. So I'll get, I get shit on sometimes when I get emotional. and like people just say enough I'm tired of it but like there's certain look that's my my cancel thing it's like I overshare about like you have a video I got emotional on a video you had about telling your daughter you loved her when you dropped off to school I think I texted you right right after yeah yeah yeah look you can you can take it or leave it I don't give a fuck I'm gonna be a hundred percent of me 100% of the time and if I get emotional in moments like this I don't give a fuck if you go unfollowed.

This isn't what I signed up for. Why aren't you being funny? I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I really genuinely don't give a fuck. Yeah. But this moment, it's so hard, man. It's so hard to leave your kids.

And, you know, what's crazy about this generation, like DeStefano is younger than me, he's very cognizant of it. Like, we weren't cognizant. We just, I just did what I had to do. Like, I just, I went on the road. Georgia was born. We induced labor because I had to work.

That's like that's that that's how we started her life We brought her in three days early so I could work with Dave Attell And so I went on the road her for the first year of her life. I was on the road every single weekend I didn't have an option I never choice We were poor like we that's if every I don't know Didn't have any money like I made $700 a weekend I had to pay for my flights and my hotel We had no money but I had to do that in order to have a little money and Leanne had a job Leanne worked 20 you know 40 hours a week

and and and and I worked every fucking, I leveraged these children's childhood for work. I worked. And then if we did stuff like this, there was a family vacation. I definitely put it online because I needed to sell tickets the next week in Omaha, you know? And so I did all that.

And I fucking told every story about their life on stage because I just didn't know any better. Look, if I had the hindsight to go back and do it different, I would definitely do it differently. Like if I could do this stuff, and take some time off and be with my family. Absolutely. He's got a unique, he's got a unique rule.

We had him on the show over a year ago now where he said, I won't leave. I'll like stay in this region. I won't leave for more than like 24 hours at a time. It's great, man. It's like, listen, what, you know. But you, your wife had a, your wife had a story. I don't know where it was, like, what show was on, whether it was hers, yours, or just a post on Instagram.

But she tells a story about when you guys were broke the way you said you were. And you were like, had like a 40 in your hand. and a bag and you were skateboarding home, and she's like, don't ever lose that. So I'll tell you the, God, I miss that sweatshirt. I thought you were going to say somebody who was like. I love that sweatshirt. That's a great sweatshirt.

That's a nice one. Yeah, it's heavy. It's heavy. I was, I had, I've had many careers within my career. Like when I was 26, I got picked by Will Smith to do the development deal. Six figures, got a TV show right after that. And I remember being on Franklin and Vine. And it was right when the seasons are changing in L.A., which is really kind of cool.

It's cold, but not cold, but very windy, really windy. And I was in an expedition, Eddie Bauer expedition. I had more money than I ever thought I'd make. I was in a Jason Williams jersey. I was listening to Jarl, the one he did with Ashanti, you know. And I was on the corner. I was going to work. And I was like, oh, man, I thought I'd.

be happier. Like, I thought life would be, like, I got everything I wanted. Like, every, I got it all. I thought I'd be happier. I was like, it just doesn't, the sparkle isn't there. I was like, it's nice, but I don't know. So then cut to, probably four or five years later, I'm married to Leanne. We have Georgia and Ila. We're broke. We're broke. I mean, honestly, I remember Daniel Tosh coming over to pick me up. We were going to go play poker. What a legend. And he, and I said, I needed $100 from land and she said we don't have it and I said no just give me the give me a hundred dollars she goes no we don't have a hundred dollars I said babe I'm not gonna lose it just give me a hundred bucks she goes honey we don't have I can't find one hundred dollars to give you and

Daniel toss was like I'll give you a hundred dollars to end this conversation we were broke right and she sent me to rouse to go get milk for the girls and I skateboarded to rouse and I with whatever money she'd given me I bought myself a 40 of fosters like a big oil can and I was skating home listening to a modest mouse and I was just skateboarding and I was fucking and I literally said to myself in that moment I was on Detroit Street I went this I'm happy as fuck right now like I'm really happy and she was watching me from the balcony and she's as I got up there she goes don't ever lose that boy that guy that just killing 40 just skateboarding just smile and ear to fucking ear and I said I swear to God and I'm I'm you know I talk in hyperboats

But, like, every day I get with that chick is like, fucking that. It's like fun as fuck, man. I never thought that chick would be the one to give me all that. Like, I thought she'd have to have way bigger tits. Bronze skin, blonde hair, six feet. Like, I thought that was the chick. But this little fucking redneck midget, this little fucking, fucking barefoot, just, I just, it's, like, crazy that the chick, you know? And yeah, I'm the happiest guy in the fucking world.

I got everything I ever wanted in life, ever wanted. And no one's telling me to quit drinking. That's the best. She's never once said to you, hey, listen. She says, yeah. She's told me reel it in, big boy. Yeah. A couple times.

What a beautiful 180 from the start. Yeah, I've reeled in. I reel it in. I like, look, I like, I like to have a good time. And it's like, we're not, tomorrow's not guaranteed for anybody. So what the fuck are we doing? Well, according to you, it is guaranteed. You don't believe it.

I'll be here tomorrow. You'll be here. I can't tell you. I think I'm losing my fucking mind. You know, this is the last podcast I'm going to do for like a year. Why? Yeah, what's going on? Tell us what's in the works with you.

I'm done. I think I'm taking a year off of the road. And I want to think more before I talk. You ever get to the place where you're talking so much, you're not putting thought into anything? Every day. Yeah, right? I'm a podcasting straight. Every week straight for like 15 years, which is crazy.

And I think this, I think it gets convoluted with stand-up. And I think it's, I don't know if it's made my stand-up better. I think earlier on it did. But when I did this special, I was like, I just shot it in Florida recently. It comes out soon. I can't say yet. But I was like, this is the best one I've done. And I was like, and I can't, I can't think to do.

I got to do another one. I have another one due in like a year or two. I was like, I need to take time off and like live a life. Like I need to live. My girls are both in college. I don't have them to write about anymore. That was just such a fucking well to go to is those fucking idiots were so funny. They were so fucking funny.

And I was like, I need to take time off. I need to stop. And then, and I started thinking about podcast. I was like, you know, I go on so many podcasts and it's weird with comic. It's like, if I say something funny, sometimes I'll say, hey, can you take that out? I'm going to put it on stage. And then I was like, I should take all my funny thoughts and really start writing them down. So I've been, I've never done this before, but I'm like, anytime I have a good thought,

I write it down and I try to explore it and write it out. I just would work it out on stage. So I'm like, I was laying in bed today. I was like, I'm doing this podcast. I think this is the last one I'm going to do for a year. And I was like, I don't think I'm going to do anyone else's podcast. Like, not even Rogans. You know.

What about your own? I was, I gotta be honestly, I was toying with the idea of getting rid of mine. Really? I was toying of getting rid of everything and just, the Burtcast. Everything. But here's the problem is I love, like I love two bears. Two bears is, I'll do that for the rest of my life. I love it.

It's a very light lift because of who I do it with. Burtcast sometimes can be a pain in the ass and then sometimes it's just a gift. Like I sat with juvenile. the other day. Like, I fucking was obsessed with juvenile. And then I sat and me him and Mani fresh, smoked weed and drank vodka. And I fucking laughed forever, forever. And then I got to do it with Maynard Keyman, Maynard James Keenan, the lead singer tool. It's a gift. I'm not going to get opportunities like that unless I have that podcast. So that's the only reason I don't want to get rid of it is just, it's selfish. Is that I mean, yes, I make money from it, but it's selfishly I get

to sit with these people that I fucking idolize because like Jimmy Kimmel comes over fucking Judd Appetal and I get to pick their brains fucking it that's the only reason I wouldn't get rid of it but I would I do think there's something to be said when when I look at like when I look at like like Stave and DeStefano and that generation of comics those are guys that are cool with walking away from everything I know I'm God I fucking love that guy but like I you know I I wish I had the balls to do more of that but I don't I feel like you know I'm like so yeah so I'm not going to do other people's podcast for a year and I'm not going to do stand up for a year and uh take some like big trips and uh we've been seeing a lot of shows lately like going to do see music I'm thinking about

staying here uh an extra day and going to see goose have you ever seen goose I didn't even heard of goose oh my god it's my favorite band they're in Nashville they're in Thursday I might I might stay in town. If I stay in town, I'm bringing you guys to goose. It's fucking insane. All right. Yeah, but I'm seeing music and then, yeah, I don't know. Sounds like a little stoicism in your life,

the ability to say no. No, I don't believe in that shit. I'm stepping out of the light. You know, he's cool as fuck too. He hit me up. He hit me up. He was like, you know, he said, I wish I could call him.

Because you know he backed me up privately. In what way? Who's this? Holiday? Yeah, Ryan Holiday. He was like. Holiday backed you up on saying, I don't believe. No, he said, I know what you're trying to say.

okay he goes i know what you're that's a big difference then because i understand what you're trying to say he was like right there's wallflower stoics that don't really believe in it but they quote it like he goes i know what you were trying to say but he goes here can i send you some books and i was like please i think ryan holiday's a badass dude he is bro he's you love to have him on the show but here's here's the thing is if you're a comic why not why not challenge everything like immediately i go stoicism everyone's fucking every second everyone believes in it come on The second everyone's... But everybody doesn't.

Yeah, not me. Wilde holidays, a cool motherfucker. I want to read exactly what he said. But you know what's so funny is... We'd love to have you on, too, Ryan. If you happen to be watching this, we would love to have you. So I got... I'm gonna...

Well, I'll wrap this up soon. I know you guys would probably should leave. But we got invited to a party. And it's the craziest party I've ever been to. Everyone's there. Fiddy's house? No. At, uh, who's?

Diddy? Did he? No. Oh, no. By the way, do you think you would have, do you think when we talk about the cowardness is close, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think you could have gone to Diddy's party and not been a part of it?

Oh, absolutely. Oh, okay. Do you, the question. Were you ever invited to a Diddy party? No, no, no, no. Never. No, but I've always, I've done, I've done. I've gone out to eat with men that I thought were gay.

Like every guy that ever in Hollywood I thought wanted to fuck me. Everyone. Elliot Gould. I thought he wanted to fuck me. He was like, let me give you my number. We'll go out to dinner sometime. And I was like, cool, he wants to fuck me.

I always expected anyone. Will Smith, you know, I thought Will Smith wanted to fuck me in the ass. Yeah? Oh, you've heard that story? No. No. Is this legit? I swear to God.

So Will Smith, I'm 26. One of his boys sees me to stand up. I like, yo, I would like you. Can I, you know, maybe do a deal? I said, great. So like, let me introduce you. So I'd go to the hit factory, I think, is where he was recording his album, Millennium.

And I meet him in a dance studio. It's a dance studio, like two folding chairs. And we sit and we talk. And I'm like, dude, I love hip-hop. I love, you know, I'm like trying to sell them because I want to do a deal with him. And I'm like, I love black guys. You're black.

Like, I'm fucking, you know, just everything. Hell of a selling point. Dude, juvie was big then. So I was like talking about juvenile and Manning Fresh and everything. And so he's like, cool man. He was like, uh, he's like, what are you doing tonight? I was like, nothing. He was like, let's go to the movies.

I was like, okay. So I leave. I remember calling my dad. And he was like, how to go? I said, good. We're going to the movies. And my dad's like, on a date? I go, no.

He was like, what do you mean? You're going to the fucking movies with him. I go, I don't know. He said he wanted to go to the movies. And so we're going to the movies. My dad's like, oh, buddy. I'm sorry. I was like, what?

And he goes, this is, they call it the casting couch. In Hollywood, these men, they're so tired of having sex with women that the only human really turns them on is to fuck young guys and to turn them out. It's called the casting couch. I was like, dad, that's impossible. He goes, what's more possible? The fact that you're so talented that within doing stand up for six months. The biggest movie star in the world wants to do a TV show about you or that he's tired of pussy and he wants to fuck you. I was like oh my god. I'm getting fucked

And he goes, I go, what do I do? And he goes, no, I'm just, like, I'm giving you a heads up. Like, go, but, you know. Oh, your dad's like, essentially, you're going to get, you're going to catch hands and that's okay. Yeah, he's like, just, I'm giving you a heads up. That's why he's bringing you there. But, you know, I'm just doing my only son going in, not knowing what he's ready for. So I go, we were supposed to do it at Planet Hollywood, which is, and even still

sounds weird to see a movie at Planet Hollywood. I go in, I'm like, is Will Smith here? And they're like, no, movie stars don't hang out here. So I'm sitting in the lobby going like, what the fuck? And then this dude, probably six, seven. comes out of a corner. His name's Charlie Mac and he goes, You Bert?

And I was like, yeah, and he goes downstairs. I was like, motherfucker. I'm going to fuck this guy too. Like, he's 6'7. I know who Charlie Mac is too. He's got a song about him. I go downstairs, there's 10 black dudes sitting in a room, like probably a little bit bigger than this bus

with a curtain and a folding table in the center. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to fuck these 10 black guys, Charlie Mac, I'm sure he's bringing Jazzy Jeff. Plus, that's 13 dudes. I'm going to have to fuck tonight. I'm like, this is getting, scenarios getting worse. Will Smith comes in with, I swear to God, Jazzy Jeff. I swear to God.

He walks in with Jazzy Jeff. And he's like, he's like, guys, this is the guy. And everyone looks at me and they're like, yeah. And they're like, this is Bert. I was like, oh my God, this is how it goes down. And then the curtains. And you're probably thinking there's no way I can get away from these guys. Oh, the door's locked.

There's no, it's down the flight of stairs. It's down to flight of stairs in a small room. Red curtains all around it, folding table in the center. I'm like, it's going down right now. curtains open up to reveal a private movie theater and me and 10 13 black dudes watch American Pie. I sat next to Will the whole time, me him and Jazzy Jeff, laughed hysterically. And at the end of the movie, I go, he was like, hey, what did you think? And I was like, what do you mean?

What did I think? I said it was a good movie. He goes, no, about the room. Like, what do you mean? He's like, the guys. I was like, I don't know. They're black dudes? And he goes, no, you said you were a hip-hop fan.

He's like, that's Biz Marquis. That's Cuomo D. that's Big Daddy Cany. He's like, I brought all the legends so you could meet them. And I was like, I could have fucked Coomodee? Jesus Christ.

Yeah, I fucking... So how did that end? That was it. I did the deal with him. I saw his dick like a week later at ABC. It's a hog. Really? Yeah, it's a hog.

He was pissing next to me. He's, we went into ABC to sell a sitcom. Jamie Tarsus, I think, who's passed away. She was running ABC at the time. And I had to piss really bad. I went to the bathroom, take a piss.

And Will goes, to come with you, I got a piss too. And he sat right next to me, stood right next to me, started pissing. And his, you know how you can hear someone's stream and know their dick's big? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. His was like a fucking fire hose. Just, you heard German Shepherds barking. Like, it was fucking wild. And he gave me the keys to the business. He was like, this is how, this is everything you need to know in Hollywood. This is the short, and I couldn't hear any of it because I had to piss. I just, I couldn't piss. I was gun shy. And I just sat there trying to piss, trying to piss, trying to piss. And he was done. And then he walked over. And

All I heard him say right as I started to piss. He goes, just be yourself. That's all I heard out of the whole thing. Yeah. He was, I liked Will. I had a great time with him. But you had me on the edge of my seat thinking something was about to go down. Yeah, I thought this was going to be the podcast you told.

Oh. You got fucked by 13 years. No, no. I thought Ellie Gould wanted to fuck me too and he just took me to dinner. Really? Yeah. So it sounds like everybody in L.A. is actually nice. Everyone in L.A. is really good.

Yeah. Not a lot of pedophiles. I haven't met a pedophile. That you know of. Yeah, not yet. Right. Like, these lists haven't came out yet. him talk to him no so what are they saying he did because i'm i i'm i'm definitely would have

gotten into a sex party yeah those things pedophilia little sex rings petophilia have you been have you heard have you heard the the the audios that have came out no apparently of him like fucking dudes hard grunted he fucking mill yeah this is all allegedly we don't want to get sued allegedly allegedly allegedly 50 cent 50 you ever see the clip of 50 was it was a bad bunny or something like that? You see the comment 50 cent put on P. Diddy's when he's riding a bicycle? No. So he comments on the, it's a P. Diddy, he's on a bicycle.

He's smiling. He goes, 50 Cent goes the only reason why P. Diddy is there's no seat on that bicycle. Like he, apparently 50 cents, known about it for a while. Do you ever see the clip on, bro, drink champs? Put it like this. It's very dark. It's very bad. P. Diddy said a 50 cent.

You got to find the clip. It's one of the hardest I've ever laughed. P. Diddy was like, yo man to 50s like you want to hang out I'll take you shopping you don't have to buy anything I'll pay for it right 50 cents like what the fuck are we talking about here dude have you you guys got to do drink champs have you ever watch drink champs no what's that

oh shut the fuck up dude it is fucking amazing what's drink champs it's out of Miami is uh Norey and DJFN and they fucking you just drink with them and they talk it's such a great interview. But if you're into hip-hop, the interviews they have are fucking insane. DMX interviews are the best interviews on here. The DMX ones are insane.

I did it because I'm a huge, I'm a huge hip-hop fan, but I'm friends with Nori. Nori's, Nori's a badass motherfucker. He gets after it, and he's like running a ton right now. We were going to have him,

hopefully come out and do maybe the next 5K we do. But he's like, they're awesome, dude. Drink Champs is fucking awesome. But their interviews are wild. I would be down What's what we got right there The Diddy ones? I don't know anything about hip hop

At all At all? No, I'm like Blinklin 82 Good Charlotte, some 41 guy I'm a late 90s Early 2000 stuck there

Yeah yeah Yeah not these ones today But the ones I usually Wear every day How about country music? Love it Red Clay Strays Love them

Marcus King Marcus King Marcus King Band Yes bro Pull one of their songs up Goodbye Carolina Oh my God

Delilah Marcus King's new album Delilah, that song. Marcus King. You would love it. Yeah. I mean, I did. I did a crazy interview with Marcus that I got a lot of shit for.

Why? Yeah, why? He, uh, I understand it. Like, you know, I, I joke about alcoholism, you know, I joke about it. You don't, I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't.

I don't. Here's a deal. If you have an eating disorder, they don't tell you, don't worry, no food for you for the rest of your life. You have to figure out a way to manage it. Right. I think that we can do the same. Anyway, here's my point.

So Marcus comes over. to my house. I apologize, Marcus, I'm oversharing. But he comes over and I wasn't drinking at the time. I was just on one of those benders where I wasn't drinking. And he comes over and he was like, I was like, hey, what's up? He's like, I had a rough night last night. I said, okay, can I get you something? I got every soda you could ever imagine. He goes, I fell off the wagon last night. And I said, okay. I said, how long? He's like a couple years, I think. I was like, whoof. I said, well, what are you looking for? And he said, I'm looking for something to maybe get me through the day. I was like, yeah, I'm in there. I'll do it with you. Like, I'm, I'll fucking, if you're

having a moment, I'll be a moment with you. I don't give a fuck. So we did a very drunken podcast where he had fallen off the wagon. This is the guy? There's Marcus. Oh, okay, yes, I have seen this guy before. He's extremely talented. He's, I would argue he's a prodigy. I mean, he's fucking the best. You know, guy likes to get loose every now and then. And right now he's sober. I think he's sober right now. But the day he came over, he fell off the wagon. And I just wasn't, I'm not the guy that's going to go, hey man, I don't know, I'm not that guy. I'm the guy that goes, yeah, I'll drink with you. So we got hammered.

We talked about him falling off the wagon. We talked about his wife wasn't talking to him at the time because he had fallen off the wagon. And so many people have so many fucking opinions of how I should have, how I should have dealt with that. And I was like, no, man, I'm your friend. If something goes down, I'm just going to stand next to you and not ask questions. I'm not going to make it a more difficult day for you.

I'm going to be your boy. And so we've, we've stayed, we've stayed, we've stayed, close. He came out, he ended up doing fully loaded with us. Sober, sober, didn't drink. We did Florida Bama. We went out to the Florida Bama Bar, got on stage together. I was fucking lit. But he didn't drink. He was being healthy. I love that guy to death, man.

He's a legend, bro. He is fucking epic. I've got to listen to some of his music. I've seen some of his clips, but I have not dove into his music just yet. Do we want to hit a twisted question before I let Mr. Yes. I'm so sorry. My bladder is so small. I have to pee. This is a third P. How long has this podcast been going on?

Huh? Hour 50. Oh, that's nothing, guys This is one of the shorter ones Yeah, for us Guys, I got another hour in me Get me another twisted tea Get me, get him a tweet

Get him a tweet right now What do you Really start breaking down things So you texted us About possibly doing some hurricane relief And then you Oh yeah, yeah, yeah So I'm doing it in Tampa instead

Okay So it was the I don't want to shit on The relief people The different ones Yeah Hey Sheriff grab me a water too please Go ahead

But I was gonna do one tonight At the Ryman And, uh, and, uh, I, I, I, I'm just going anyway. I'm just going. Yeah. Yeah. And just doing stuff there. I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing stuff.

You know, it's, it gets really tricky. What the fuck? Tall boy. Oh my God. It gets really tricky, um, giving money. I've gotten fucked a number of times. It's tough to give money, especially when you don't know where it's going. So, so I'll tell you that this.

And I, I mean, I wish it wasn't. So like, I did something for the bucks. Right. The Bucks were trying to build a house for Habitat for humanity. They needed like $100,000. I'm with Doug Williams, right? Epic quarterback for the Bucks. I'm with Doug Williams. I do a video.

I go, all we're asking is for $2.46. I'm Bert Chrysler. I'm donating $2,0.46. I'm with Doug Williams. Just put it in. $2. And I get destroyed online. I'm oblivious to it because I'm not reading comments.

Tommy comes to me and he's like, dude, you look like a fucking ass. You're asking everyone to donate $2.000. You donated $2,000. He's like, the comment online is, Bert, you could have just bought the house yourself. I was like, yeah, but that's not how charity works. It's like, we group fund things. Right, right, right, right.

I ended up buying a house. I had to buy a house. Out of guilt. $100,000. I bought a fucking house for Habitat of Humanity. Tom bought a house too. We both bought houses. And so I'm like, I'm like, I'm never going to fucking help anyone again.

Because it comes back to me. Yeah. And then it's like, it's like, I was like, also $2,000 is like a, solid. Why can't you just donate $2,000? So then I learned you just, you cannot try to get credit for helping people. No. You've got to do it silently. Right. So that's where. JPU's on the bus. He's big on that. Like if you're going to do something for somebody, you don't, you don't want to do it at all in the public eye. Dude, I did. I did. I'm the kind of guy that if I send, if I give you money for GoFund me, like I put my name on it. Yeah. So, and I donate the most so that

I'm at the top of the list. Just a win. Oh, yeah. I've dropped $10,000 a number of times into GoFundMe's just to see my name above everyone else's. Some of the GoFundMe's out there, man. There's a buddy of mine who did a GoFundMe for surgery on his dog. That's where I draw the line.

I believe I know this person, too. Yeah, like that's doing. He was doing well. He does well. Yeah, does well. It's not like he's just living in a cardboard box. He's like, my dog has to get brain surgery. please help fund this.

Cancer, family emergency. Like, it's stuff like obviously, but you're talking about surgery for a dog. Like, yeah. You got to have a line somewhere. You know, it's, uh... Oh, I'm done. I'm done trying to help.

I use you. I'll help you and you'll never know about it. Like, I'm doing a show in Tampa and I'm giving the proceeds to what you'll call it. And then obviously we will donate money. It'll be silent. You won't know how much went. Right.

But you just can't, you can't, like I was going to try to do something here. and then all of a sudden it just got so convoluted. And I was like, I'm out. I don't even want to be associated with it. Because the second you say, I'd like to do something, all of a sudden everyone just attacks you. I mean, the fucking fires in Maui.

Like I was, I was Tony. Dude, look at my fucking phone. All it is is people Venmoing me asking for $1,000. It's, um, it's, and one chick's hot as fuck. Dude, she's like a single mom. Look, I want you to see her.

She is fucking smoking. Venmo. God damn it. Do you guys have, have you guys have to wear readers yet? Dude, my eyes are so bad. I need to.

I need to get on that train. Maybe a little LASIC. Justine Adams. Yeah. Yeah. Looks like she's got a good personality. Yeah. Dog lover.

Yeah. She said, big fan, super weird request. Just seeing if any celebrities are willing to help, single mom trying to recover from Helene, having a rough time,

never done anything like this far, regardless, big fan. So I'm such a fucking lunatic. I was like, I wonder if she follows me on Instagram. She don't even follow me on Instagram. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? I'm not going to.

So yeah, big fan of yours. Don't follow you. Yeah, big fan of yours. Yeah, dude, the whole, see, here's a problem with what you just told me about the whole giving thing is if you're asking for two people to give $2.46. And you're going to give $2,46 or whatever. It's like, okay, yeah, you could buy a house for habitat for humanity, but you're also giving. and the gesture of just giving

should be good enough to be like wow, good for Bert to give. Regardless if it's $1 or a million dollars. Like giving and helping should be seen blanketly as great job. So here's the thing that, okay, I'm being real right now and I understand this is going to get pushed back. I've really enjoyed this episode by the way.

Oh, dude, I'm having such a blast. I'm bummed that this is the last one I'll ever do. And the reason you think, the reason you think, too, he's been on four times because the first time we had him all and we split it in two weeks. That's right. Oh, for real?

Yeah. Because remember the first thing you came up. Like three or four hours. No. Yeah. Dude, this is such a great hang. And this, but this is also the first podcast of all the podcasts we've done, whether you doing two bears and at the Super Bowl with you and Tom or the first time you were on,

where this is like the most casual of a conversation, I think, the three of us have had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I, it's very nice. It's very organic. I appreciate that. Thank you, I think. What were we just talking about? Giving, giving back.

Oh, so there's, oh, I'm going to tell you what fucking drives me nuts. I know this is going to tell shitty. You said, you're going to be honest for a second. Go ahead. So like, okay, there's an organization. I'm not, but I, oh, man, like, I know I'm not going to talk about giving, but like, okay, I give a fucking cuntload of money to this organization. BLM?

No. That's what I was thinking to same thing. No, it's for, it's for trans drag queens to read books to kids in Florida. Anyway, no. Is that a real thing? I don't know. People say it is. I mean, if it is real, it's wild that they have drag queens reading books to fucking

kindergartners that can't be fucking real. It's like frogs are gay kind of thing. Yeah. It's like, shut the fuck up. Mine is well. How great do you think it would be if you and your boys, you're like first graders and you're just learning how to make fun of gay people? And then all of a sudden, like, you're like, whoa, shut the fuck up.

Imagine if you had, okay, anyway. A couple of those drag queens pulled off, though. Dude, dry cleans are awesome. I'm saying they pull it off. You look it and you're like, oh, she's kind of, and then they pull the wig off. You're like, oh my God, I had no idea. Dude.

Yeah, pull up. You don't know what to believe anymore. Hey, it's us to Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news? Huge news. We created our own podcast called,

Hey, Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to a... We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts. We're starting a trend. But this one's extra special.

So how do we actually come up with a name Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. Oh, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas.

And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the

athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hardweight with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests.

I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing. And we're still chasing it. And we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses. Steve Burns, Dustin Ross, because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth. Are you a good person because you're afraid?

Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person. Join me, Keir Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast,

learn the hard way. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search, learn the hard way and listen now. Burke Kreisher drag queen. Like, bro, come on. Dude, I mean, you get caught. Oh, that's him? That's him.

You get caught slipping. For real, for real. Slipping. Slipping hard core. I would. Thank God. we're all married now. Oh, yeah.

Because there's, there's different kind of bullets flying out there that would, I know I'd get got. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I know Will's ass who get got. No question about it. A little horny boy out there.

He would be able to have nothing now. I follow a trans woman who's in, a trans woman, right? Yeah, trans woman who's in Nashville right now. Bro. So the way is so fucking hot. She is so fucking hot. I think we might,

I don't know how many. Trans women are in the greater Nashville area, but my second year in the league, I had a buddy who was a high school friend of mine, and we were out at the bars, and he was kissing. Hold on. Hang on. Are those girls or boys? You tell me. Yeah, what's going on, Sharm?

That's girls. That's girls. I'll tell you right now. I'm ready. I'm going to put my dick on it. Those are girls. I'd put my dick in those mouths. Those are girls. Those are dudes. Those would be trans women. Shut the fuck up. Technically girls? Right? By standard? I don't know. The next morning, I'd have to go technically girls. The next morning I'd be like, don't worry, Bird.

It was a girl, technically. But there was a guy. Those are, those were, come on, man. This is not fair. Yeah, Sherman, get out of here. They're hotter than my wife. They're hotter than my wife. But I had a buddy.

I had a buddy who we were at the bar and he was making out with a girl. And a guy pulled me aside. He's like, you got to tell your friend, that is not a girl. That's not a girl. That's a guy. Okay. Okay. So what if, okay, what if they said?

What if Trump gets elected? And he's like, all right. new rules, okay? You can legally, and no one can get upset. You can cheat on your girl if it's with a trans woman. Okay. Okay. What's the question for? Would you just kiss? No, no, no, you're allowed to. And your wife can't say anything about it. She goes, no, no, no, no, that's the law. He made it the law. They're trans. So you want my wife to all of a sudden just take all the laws to do it. Like, good, I agree with them all? They're just going to say, yeah, you're right. Okay, Trump said that's how it's gonna go.

It would be fun because they look like girls. That's AI. That's AI. That's AI. That's AI. That's not AI. Is that it? Is that a term?

Sherm, get this. Listen, I had two daughters at home and a one. I need you to pull out of this as fast as possible. I'm out. You're not. I still see it on the screen. Hold on. That's better.

Do you want your tax dollars going towards six changes in prisons? Dude. Okay. We'll get to that. We'll get to that a second. Quick answer blanket. It's like one of Mitch's twisted questions. No.

Will, you want to answer the question? Absolutely not. Okay, done. Dude, we were watching. How fun would it be if that was the law, though? For who? I just said no.

My life wouldn't change a bit. No, no. But we could just make out of the trans? They're so hot. Bird, they're so fucking hot. I love you. They do women better than my wife,

and she was christening a woman. Listen, listen. I fully can agree with you that there are some trans women out there that make you go, damn, for real? Like, that's crazy. And I would support you like I support your alcoholism. Okay.

If you ignore it, it's not real. If you ignore it's not real. I don't believe in COVID. I don't believe in, by the way, I've had COVID eight times. Dude, tell me you're from Florida without telling me you're from Florida. All the things that come out of bird's fucking mouth today. Bro. He's like this.

Trump's elected. By the way, congrats on the Trump wing. And then. All right. Now let's pull up trans dudes. Can they do dude as well as those dudes can do women? Well, we do have to go down. No.

No, right. Not at all. Yeah, because he can play sports. so much easier to be a woman. That's not. No. That's a dude. That's a girl that was a dude. That's a trans dude. We got to get out of this. We've got to. We've got to draw the line somewhere. This is like the go fund me for your dog. Yeah, we got to go. Dude, so we were driving back. Time out. Time out. He had the story about giving money to an organization. That's when we got off track. As soon as you said that I remembered, I got out of it. That's not. That was a born, a black woman.

No, she was white too. Hey, Sherman. I don't want to say it again. Hey, hold. Hold on. For real, for real, for real. I don't want to say it again, Shirm. Hey, we are muddying some waters out here. And literally, this is like two weeks after the Trump thing. People are they were. They were exactly who we thought they were. We don't want. We don't fucking need this right now.

We got storytelling coming and then you just pull up another one. Dude. They're hard not to, I mean, that's like crazy. Sherman's job is on the line for the rest of this episode. Oh, my God. If you pull up another trans person on this podcast. No disrespect. We respect everybody who wants to be whoever they want.

want to be, but just right now. Can you, can you identify as Asian? If you can identify as a woman, you should be able to identify as Asian, right? Yeah, I think I'm sure. I forget what my 23ME was. I think African is everybody, right? Best joke I ever heard about that. So I don't know who the guy is.

And I just, I know he's an older dude and he was a genius. I think he's a genius, like autistic genius. He said I'm 99% of, Ashkenazi Jew and 1% sub-Saharian African. And he goes, and I'll just tell you, I don't think it was a date. Dude, Rogan has a good one too with the 23-Meet.

He brought up the whole, the montage of him saying the N-word, and when he got canceled and everything else, and he wrapped it into a 23-Me. It was hilarious. It was when we were in Vegas watching us. Oh, for real? We were watching Shane his stand-up, and Rogan came out to surprise everybody.

We got to meet him. That was fucking. That was tight. You guys haven't done Rogan yet. Dog, come on. No, we haven't. Hang on. If there's one takeaway.

If there's one takeaway. Everyone on, every fan of this podcast should just start, just get in the comments. When are you going to have boys on? God, that would be something. But we also hear if you press, like, that makes it for your farther removed. Oh, I've heard some bad ones. I've heard some bad ones. We've been told there's like, like, uh, like, uh, this are rules.

We met Joe, we met him. He follows us. We did the gambling thing. He's told that story. 10 times on his show. Jamie loves college football. Jamie loves it. We feel like we're...

Every time he talks about, he mispronounces my name and talks about gambling with Dana White. I have all my friends from Cave Creek. They send me the video. Like, listen, we are our toe in the door. That's the... If we were to be asked, we would come on. If we were to be asked, we would check our schedule and then come on.

That's going to be the episode. You're right about that. And as I said that, everyone should get in the comments. Don't get in the comment. It's a quick way to get off. We did an episode, I think it stayed in the show where me and Ari talked to Joe about how we got people on his show.

Because we always were, we always worked behind the scenes to get people on. And it would work? Oh, yeah. Shane Gillis. Yeah, Shane. I mean, we talk, I think we talk about it. I mean, I know for a fact, Theo was one where I was like,

because Theo wanted to get on and I was like, I was like, it doesn't. work that way. Like, like, I can't, I can't, if I push it, Joe, Joe won't like it. Right, right. He'll say yes, because he'll go, yeah, of course. But like, I tried to do it with Warren Sapp. Warren wanted to do it a long time ago, long time ago. And I was like, yo, hey, Warren Sap wants to get on your, uh, is that fat Tom or fat shame? Holy shit. That that angle. That's a bad angle. The old, the old couch was really hard. Really hard on a guest. He looks good these days. That's all I said. So I said, and so I said, and so I said, and so, he's

So I was just like, I'll have Warren Sapon. He goes, I just don't know him. I don't know anything about him. So, like, you have to come on with him. And I was like, oh, that, I'm not, I'm not a great, I'm not a great go-between. And so I remember saying with Theo, I was like, dude, when he sees you, he'll want you on. And that's when you want to be on is when he's excited about you. And, uh, and Gillis, Gillis was like one, Ari and I would, we would send Gillian

keves videos to our group thread. Like, dude, have you seen this? And then, you're like, all you're waiting for is Joe to reply. And then I'd be like, no. And then Ari would text me, said it again. And then I sent it again. And this is fucking awesome, dude. Shane Gillis is fucking hysterical.

And then Joe would be like, who is this guy? And we're like, oh, he's the guy that got fired from S&L for that. And he's like, Joe's like, that's fucking bullshit. I mean, it's, it was like, we talked about it on an episode. I can't remember if we shared all of it. But, yeah, it's, we did it with Nate Bargazzi. We've done it with a bunch of people. No shit.

Yeah, because Joe's, you know, so many people come at Joe Of course That's the one Like everyone's begging for him To sit down with the presidential candidates For Kamala and Trump It sounds like they're going to happen

Or the Trump one sounds like it's going to happen Yeah I just don't know how it's gonna work out But yeah it's your point yeah I'm sure he's bombarded on I've sat in the room with people Who were like Who were like Joe Hey man if you ever need a guest for your podcast

And I go wow you just got yourself Never on the show Yeah You know it's really I think he'd be cool with me saying this He's very comfortable with confrontation comfortable with confrontation oh man I mean there's receipts out there

even old videos like fear factor like so like people that think you know hey what's the saying they say it never hurts to try it does it does it totally does it completely does so when we when we

met Joe Shane was like hey Joe's gonna come in do not talk about the podcast do not bring up anything about the podcast Do you, isn't, is this a little crazy that like, we have a way, it's like, it's like, it's like if they brought a chimp in and they were like, hey, man, don't look him like in the eyes. Yeah. He'll bite off your fingers, he'll bite your nose. Don't look him in the eyes.

But it's right. He just, don't talk about the podcast. Just be a regular person. Hang with him. Joe just wants to, Joe just doesn't want to feel like he's being leveraged. That's it. Yeah. I mean, I feel like everybody wants to feel that way.

If you are a person that of, of celebrity status in any. shape or form. You just want to hang out. I'm always shocked at like people who hit up Joe for tickets to UFC. Like I one time, one time I was at, I was doing Madison Square Garden, UFC was in Madison Square Garden. I was doing the theater. Joe isn't doing the, the, what you call it? And I, that morning I texted him. I said, dude, are you at UFC? And he said, yes, do you need tickets? I said, that would be great. And immediately I regretted it. And I was like, man, I've never asked anything from that guy. Like I've never said, and he is so goddamn generous. He sent me a treadmill one time. He sent me grills. He sent me stuff that you, he sees you talking about. He just goes, hey, man,

I got you. And I regretted immediately. And I immediately said, hey, man, I don't need the tickets. I will buy tickets. I want to go. I'm going to buy my own tickets. But I'm always shocked at, like, people who are completely comfortable. I'm like, Joe, can you hook me up for UFC? I'm like, why wouldn't you just be his friend? Right. Just be his friend. You get your own fucking tickets. Let me ask you this, though, if you, if Joe was not Joe Rogan of like the stature he is, and he was just a regular friend and you guys were in college and they had the ability to get tickets to something. Would you not ask that person for tickets?

No, I still won't. Really? Yeah, I don't, but I'm weird about, I'm weird about owing stuff to people. Yeah, but I'm, I've tried to put myself in a situation like, uh, like if I was in, whatever, the podcast, the process no longer exists, bustling with the boys. I'm in Lincoln. They're playing somebody and I would not feel uncomfortable at all

about texting one and be like, yo, hey, I'm here in town like I know they're playing tonight. Do you have anybody that hook me up with some tickets? Oh, I can't do that. So like I'm going to parents' weekend. And it'd be a no brainer. I'm going to parents weekend this weekend.

You locked in no matter what. But I do understand the discomfort of asking somebody for tickets. The second, hang on the second, here's, and this is going to sound very broken. The second I ask you for something, I owe you something. I don't want to owe anyone.

anything. I feel like that only goes. I feel like that's like there's like levels, tears of friendship. And like you and you are great friends. Will and I are great friends. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to trump your celebrity for two seconds and tell you this is, this is the future. Hey man, we'd love you to go to the fucking, what's the minor league team here? It's a great team. Sounds. We love you. Oh, I love that. Hey, can we take care of you and your family? Absolutely. Cool. Hey, when you get there, we're going to bring you down the field. We want you to do some pictures. You're like, oh, all right, great. And then on the seventh inning, we're going to have you stand up.

You're going to sing for the whole group. Is that cool? I need some pictures of you. Can we get your wife out of them, though? The second you give them anything, you owe them, it's a work day. Everything I've ever done where I've gotten like a privilege. I can't get into too great details, so I don't want to fucking sound like an ungrateful asshole. But like, hey, Bert, we'd love to have you this.

All of a sudden, I'm being walked around like a fucking show pony for the entire time and it's a work event. And if I want to go to UFC, if I want to go to the Bucks, if I want to go to something, I want to go. I don't want to have to work. I want to be able to party and not be responsible. I'll give you a perfect example. This is a perfect example. I feel like you can you can paint those boundaries before you go to it. Uh-uh, no. And you're also talking about a company versus a friendship. I'll tell you a great example. I went to, uh, I like, every year I like to get a box at the Rams game for all my friends and family and bring them all to one Rams game. We did it last year for Thursday night football. It's me. I paid for the box. I paid for the box.

I brought everyone and I got a party bus. Everyone. Everyone. My parents are there. My kids are there. All our friends and family. It's awesome. I think that's it. That's actually it. It's a beautiful time.

And Andrew Whitworth comes back. And he's like, hey, can you come on the show at the end? And I was like, ugh. I was like, yes, because I'm big fan of Andrew Whitworth. Because, you know, we were Rams family. He's the man. And he's the fucking man. And it's fucking Fitzpatrick.

And they want me to just rip my shirt off and fuck around. And I go, yes, absolutely I want to. However, it means, I'm, got to stop drinking because I don't want to get I don't want to go drunk on TV you know so everything turns into a work event I'm so grateful I did it I had so much fun and I didn't technically stop drinking it was so awesome it was such a great experience but like when I go to something I want to just go and I don't want to deal with anyone I don't want to deal with like the hey can we get you to go up and do that and you're like oh like every baseball game we go to

we went to the Dodgers opening ceremony opening day and they were like yeah we can get you tickets and my daughters were like don't pay for them so we don't have to work because if you get the tickets for free you're going to go down you're going to say hi to everyone they're going to just you're theirs they own you for the day so i don't want to i still think you can say no yeah it's like if we had that same if you were like hey comp i'm in lincoln like i'm trying to go to a husker game could you hook it up and i would say absolutely absolutely i want you to see a husker atmosphere i would i would text get the hookup going and i would tell them i would say he just wants to go and see and watch the game.

Do you not ask him to do anything? Like, I would almost do that for you. So I do feel like there's a... I don't think you would say that without this conversation taking place. If he told me he didn't want to do any, like, no extra width of it, I would absolutely say that. But the blanket, the person...

The basic text that's like, hey, man, I would love to go to watch a Nebraska football game. You would just take that, send it to whoever and be like, hey, Burke Kreischer is looking for a couple tickets. You guys mind hooking him up. That's without any context of this conversation. is the person that got you the tickets that you had to go through,

they did something, they're going to want something. I've been to too many of these things where they go, where you think it's all for free, and then all of a sudden you're working the entire day. I think it's different with sports. If we were to go to a Titans game and say like, hey, you know, so-and-so, we don't want to do X, Y, and Z, like we just want to.

Okay, I'll tell you, I'll give you a perfect example. That's a perfect example. I took my, it was a Packers game. I took my kids and my wife, that was this year, kids and my wife and I texted Nate Bain the social media guy and I was like hey want to take my kids do a game my daughter's been talking about it would love to go and he's like oh yeah no problem I said hey one more thing I don't want to be on the big screen I don't want to chug the beer I don't want to do

any of that I just want to watch the game and he's like no problem went watch the game left dude I did the beer chug last year I'm talking about this season the 2024 season right the big screen gives me so much anxiety like I went to the nicks and then the rangers so like the first experience I have where they gave you tickets and they're like, you know, they're going to put you on the big screen. I thought it was a gift that you get to be on the big screen. It is. But what I didn't realize is the whole fucking game.

I'm nervous going like, when are they coming to me? When are they coming to me? I hope I can do it well. I should, I would take my hat off and then take the shirt off. And then, and then we went to the Rangers. They're like, yo, kill a beer, but you can't take your shirt off. And I was like, the Yankees game. God damn it.

That's you on the left? Wow. Bro, you look so different. You don't look like the same human being. Holy, can I tell you what's crazy about that picture is I had gotten wardrobe for the Today Show and on the flight, I put it on the next day and it didn't fit. I gained weight on the flight. God damn, I am fat as fucking shit.

It was past tense, past tense. You don't look anything like that right now. I'm the best shape of my life. Pete, you look the same. Consistent. Yeah. But you should be the Yankees game. Yankees game.

They go, hey, we got great seats for you. Everything's free. And you're like, oh, cool. And they're like, real quick, can you come back and do that? And you're like, but you didn't, when you agreed to the ticket, you didn't set the set, paint the expectation. Set the challenge. You got to set it. Like, I do feel what you're saying.

But I do also in the same breath, feel like you can go and do these things by being like up front at the very beginning. Yeah. Yeah. But there is, so add a layer to it. Asking. I would never ask show for anything. I would never, I will never, I will never. As long as he, he, he offered his friendship one night.

Who's this? Who we talking about? Rogan. Okay. Yeah. He said, he goes, I want to be your friend. I'm trying to be your friend. And at that moment, I realized I can't ever ask this man of anything other than just

friendship and just advice. I talked to him, the only reason I recall him bullshit about comedy, bullshit about, like, gossip, or just ask his advice about life. I mean, he's giving me the best advice. And he said to you, I'm trying to be your friend. Yeah. I think you've actually heard you tell that story report. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've definitely heard you heard. I only have like five stories. I tell them all over again. The, the discomfort of asking, which you've already said you don't do. But like asking someone you're kind of friends with, you know well you would consider a friend for something is much more difficult to me than asking someone

who you consider a very, like a great friend. So Riley Green, love Riley Green, awesome guy. Would I say that we're best friends? No, but I would consider us friends enough for me to text and call him and feel comfortable doing both of those things. my head football coach my senior of high school he is now at ASU

and Riley Green was playing a concert my head football coach text me is like can you please ask Riley Green for tickets or I want to meet him blah blah blah I love that coach but that was a man like so uncomfortable sending that text

to Riley to where it was like instead of just asking for it it was this long of a text being like I know this you could tell me to fuck off I am so sorry blah blah hits me back no problem is like absolutely But those are the situations to me where I'm like... Amazing you said that. Very uncomfortable.

Jellyroll was the same way with the high school buddy in St. Louis, but I knew... You know Jelly Roll and he was... He came to the night of their life. Okay, that's crazy. I was like, jelly roll, you think to myself, like, jelly is so nice and so kind and loves everybody, there's a feeling of like, I don't want to take advantage of this guy. Right. Because I know he's going to do it.

Oh, I've asked Jelly to bring people backstage for his shows. I've done that. But you're there. No, no. A great comedian. Steve Trevino hit me up. He's like, dude, Jelly's in town. My son's the biggest fan.

Can you get me backstage? I went absolutely. And I don't think I reached out to Steve's amazing. And I don't think I reached out to Jelly, but I had my team reach out and they're like, yo, Jelly's sick. He's not doing meet and greets. And I was like, oh, I felt bad. I was like, sorry, buddy.

I couldn't make it happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I told you we were friends. We're not really that close, I guess. No, but I would, I would, the crazy thing is I want you to ask me to come backstage. Like, I want you to, If I'm in your town, I want you to leverage your friendship to get your friends backstage. I'd love that.

I'd love when people come backstage. Our backstage in Tampa was so fucking thick. I mean, you know, I grew up in Tampa, but the Tampa was like, first and foremost, it's, it's, it's, uh, Derek Brooks is like runs up town. Derek Brooks is the old, man. It's the only time my dad's ever been legit outwardly proud of me is Derek Brooks comes backstage. I just did Amelie. Amelie. It's the 19,000 people.

It's fucking crazy. It's the big, one of the biggest shows I've ever done. Derek Brooks comes backstage with me and he's talking to me and my dad. And he says to my dad, can you believe his career? And my dad goes to me in front of him. This is Derek fucking Brooks. And I went, yeah. My dad goes, buddy.

Does he know who you are? And I went, yeah, dad. And Derek Brooke goes, I absolutely know who he is. And Derek's book says, I was at his first show ever. And my dad goes, what? He's like, I saw his first stand-up show ever. My buddy Miles Mosley took him to see my first stand-up show ever. And he goes, now I'll see him today.

He was, can you believe the career your son's had? And my dad's like, he can't keep doing, Derek Brooks knows who you are. I go, yeah, that I know. But that fucking backstage at Tampa, Derek Brooks, Wade Boggs, Mike Allstott, every kid I ever grew up. with. I mean, I'm maybe, maybe 400 people backstage. And I want that. My shows, I want everyone backstage. Dude, Nashville was like a crazy backstage. But so like as I say this, I go, please leverage me because I want you to ask for the favorites. I don't mind it. I don't mind it. I was going to say, like, I feel like I have a good enough relationship with you to where

if I had a really good bit or somebody I cared about that wanted to go to your show and I'm just happening not being in town, I would almost expect you to tell me if you don't want that to happen because I would call and be like, hey, so-and-so wants to come your show, you can absolutely tell me to fuck off. I promise you, it's no big deal to me. He's asked me. I don't want to say, hey, I try to asking him. Or if I felt like, hey, bro, you know, I don't do those things. I don't ask for those favors. But I would feel like I have a relationship enough with you to where if you didn't want to happen, I would just expect you to tell me because I feel like we would have that relationship. No, you know what? Hey, Taylor, you're about to do stand up here like, hey, I promise

you, bro. If it's too big of a show and shit's going on, just tell me, I'll know how to That's interesting. That's interesting. But I'll know what to tell him and be like, listen, he's got way too much going on. It's interesting you say that because I would, I would, if you said to me, if anyone said to me, can I get backstage and meet Shane? I go, yeah, I don't have a problem with that. Right. Tommy, sure.

Rogan, I say no. See, Shane. Right. Yeah. Because there's, yeah. I feel you there. I do understand that. With Shane, I did the same thing with some Michigan office alignment.

I know he loves offensive alignment, those such things. His dick gets hard. I gave the same, hey, you can tell me to fuck off. And he's like, yes, face-times me with the boys. And he's like, we went out till at three in the morning. Yeah. Shane, you don't feel uncomfortable with. Well, hold on.

Let's just be clear. He also has a type. Offensive linemen are his type. Yes. 100%. I remember the Notre Dame offensive line wanted to come to our show. And Shane had all their phone numbers. And he's like, I've got everyone taking care of.

He had pictures of him doing this show. shit with them. Yes. He was he and then he was like introducing my daughter and her friend to all the, he's like, you get, meet these guys. These guys are like the fucking best. This guy's the man right here. Let me tell you where we went to high school. He was like, he loves those guys. Dude, he loves the big boys.

He loves him. He does love the big boys. I remember when he was, uh, he was doing one in Indianapolis and he wanted Quentin. Does Vince Fawn come? Yeah, Quint, Quint, Quint, Quint, does Vince Vaughn know who Caleb is? I think they did. They actually, they didn't know each other. they did i have no clue i think so

cali was got fucking interesting energy you oh yeah dude he's i'm telling you man very uh very feovanesque i i'm being very real and i love calum i absolutely did not want to do his podcast the sunday conversation i did not want to do it where you had the clip that talking about yeah because i was like i was like i'm not good i'm not good in these things like i don't know how to i never know how i can do this like we're just talking right right right but like those kind of things they make me nervous and so he was down and in in

Fort Lauderdale and we were supposed to do it and I was so uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do. And I was like, a weird humoric genius to himself. But then you sit with him, you sit with him and he's he's so normal. Like he really is, but his energy is like, you know he's got like he's got like big dick energy. Like he's very funny without trying to be funny. Yeah. He really isn't like I watched him on here with you guys. Hysterical and he's not trying. He's not trying. He's just being him. He's just being him. Yeah. I think I think Caleb's fucking fasting. I mean, out of the two, obviously, you know I gravitate to Glennie Bowls.

That's my energy. Glennie balls at the beer limits this year was fucking hysterical. He killed three beers out of that boot and he goes, and I'm watching him over by the grass. I go, what's going on? He goes, oh, Sempec. I said, he is something special. But yeah, some guys are just different. When they just have a mind for it, when you meet him, you're like, Ed, that's, it's impressive to be around him.

Caleb's one of those guys. Caleb's fucking fascinating, man. Like his interview here, he was so funny. He was talking about a guy he doesn't talk to anymore. I can't remember who. It was a guy from Barstool, a guy they fired from Barstool or whatever. Stephen Chee? Yeah, and he was like, I don't talk to him.

No, they didn't fire Steve. It was whatever was. He probably listened to the clip recently when he was on the yak talking about it, where he's talking about the energy being sucked out of him. Fucking, hold on. Let's break down Barstool for a second. It's fucking fascinating. This company is fucking fascinating.

It really is, when you look at it's so many, different personalities, led by one bizarrely fascinating man who honestly should not be successful. Dave Portnoy should not be successful. He is just, he is. Why do you say that? He's, he is the guy fucking pounding his head against the system going, fuck him, fuck him. He's the guy, like he just, he's doing everything that you're not supposed to do, and it's winning.

Like it's fucking, I find Dave Portnoy would be fucking fascinating. He makes trophies for people he has vendettas against. Champagne bottles. It's incredible. You're not supposed to say that out loud. Right. He says it out loud and I root for him. Like, I'm, honestly.

He's a man of the people. He really, he really is a man of the people. There's very few people that have recognized me that where I got starstruck when they recognized me. Dave Portnoy, I did Big Katz podcast in L.A. when something was in L.A. I don't forget it was in L.A. and I was walking down and Portnode was having lunch by himself at the hotel. And he was like, Bert, what's up?

And I went, shut the fuck up. Like, I find that guy fascinating. He is a fascinating individual. He says exactly what he wants to say. And look, we all do that, but kind of. Like, I do kind of. You like, I bite my tongue. Eugetically, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know what you mean. Yeah. He's like the intrusive thoughts you have, like the good wolf and the bad wolf, the story, like, which one are you going to feed? Yeah. He is essentially everyone's inner bad wolf that is just, just, saying what they want. And people have been like, yeah, I've thought that before too.

I've got to get behind this guy. And going against the man. If I could go back in time, I'd invest all my money in Barstool. I don't think Barstool is where it's going to be. I really sincerely think Barstool is going to be something that's going to be so... I invest money right now in Barstool. There's... The way this is, the energy this has is so fascinating to me.

Because it's not like, you know, we implode when we try to team up. You know, like when we, when everyone, like, egos get involved with comics and it's, and it's not healthy. Man, like, for Barstall, it's like, have a camera on that. Hey, it's us to Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news? Huge news.

We created our own podcast called, Hey, Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one. one's extra special. So how do we

how do we actually come up with a name Hey Jonas guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it and well we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers. This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing a bit for the podcast where people could call in and say hey Jonas and then I wrote down on my little notepad Hey Jonas and

offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to my new podcast, Learn the Hard Way with me, your host, and your favorite therapist, Kear Games. And in recognition of mental health awareness month, I'm bringing over a decade of my own experience in the mental health field and conversations with so many incredible guests.

I'm talking, Tripp Fontaine, Ryan Clark. Sometimes when we're in the pursuit of the thing, we get so wrapped up in the chase that we don't realize that we are in possession of the thing and we're still chasing it and we don't know when we've done enough. Because people scoreboard watch. Life becomes about wins and losses.

Steve Burns, Dustin Ross, because you find it important to be a good person while you hear on earth, or are you a good person because you're afraid? Because that's two different intentions, bro. Absolutely. And that's two different levels of trust. I want you to just really be a good person.

a good person. Join me, Keir Gaines, as we have real conversations about healing, growth, fatherhood, pressure, and purpose on my new podcast,

learn the hard way. Open your free, our heart radio app, search learn the hard way and listen now. We're breaking down the implosion. Right. Yes, instead of like hushing up,

like, hey, we had an issue between Bert and Will this weekend. Let's just make sure where a sense of people's feelings are like, oh, there's conflict going on, make sure that's filmed.

And then everyone picks sides and then I duke it out. But in a weird, way everyone picks sides, and I've picked sides on watching Barstool feuds and then also not cared. Like I, the only thing I ever, I got really drunk one night and watched a

documentary on Pete Rose and I started to, I think I might have texted you guys, I started DMing everyone about like, we need to get on, we need to get Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame. The only person that was a passionate enough about that was Big Cat. He was the only one that replied. He was like, I'm fucking, he definitely deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

It's such a unique a thing. There should be a class taught about it. And why doesn't, why isn't there? They're like the WWU media. Yeah. Like all the storylines that go on, all the feuds, all the successes. And Dave Portnoy has a beautiful left-handed swing.

He does. He legit. Good ball play, huh? Yeah. I think a lot of left-handed swings are beautiful. But he's like legit, a good baseball player. I find Dave Portnoy fascinating. I also find him fascinating that he got, he is so rich.

But he got rich by himself. yeah that's that's stuff in newspapers and he did it by himself like he doesn't he also doesn't have rich friends look nice I have a much better swing okay Dave that's young guy right there yeah we what what year is this this is definitely this is this is how long this is how long I was just gonna say he's got a really bad shoulder even the follow through looks yeah no the follow through is what makes a swing yeah and by the way he's also so skinny so like when you're skinny you can all swings a lot better yeah when you swing as a fat guy pull up burr chryser swing when you swing as a fat guy you're your fucking rotations that wasn't

beautiful no i mean i don't know i was slow on that one but who's his picture he hit him with an offseat yeah i made i made i made one mistake in my career that i can highlight and that was not being a part of the barstool family i was offered i was offered i was offered i was offered i don't i know that right now there's a couple people going bert let's just drop this But, uh, look at this swing. But it was, oh, this fat Burt. When was this? This was 2, 275 Burt.

No, when was the bar still offer? It was a while ago. It was, uh, it just panics, takes a shirt off. Yeah. It was a while ago. But it was like, it was like, the writing was on the wall that, like, what you guys are doing is cool as fuck. And I knew it. I could tell it.

And I was looking at, like, numbers of podcasts and none of the numbers were, like, skyrocketing. But I was like, dude, this is the future. This is the future This is what Really this What Barstall's doing Is what Rogan kind of started But he just never put a brand on it

He just was like Yeah well we'll keep our drama Internal right Bert's fat Tom's making fun of them Let's talk about it on the podcast Let's hey everyone get their own podcast I'm gonna listen to your podcast

I'll talk about your podcast I'm gonna put you over It really is kind of like the Rogan Mainframe of like What was called Desquot At the time was all our podcasts And it was you know loose-fitting network of friends,

but Barstool just monetized it on a better... I remember going to the offices of Barstool being like, dude, I would excel in this fucking place. Like, creativity just spills everywhere. I mean, they'd walk you and you'd do KFC radio and then you'd go in and you'd eat a bunch of different foods, and then you'd walk into another room

and do sit down and talk about sports with Big Cat. Then you walk into another room and they'd go ask the internet questions. It was like, dude, this is what it's supposed to be. This is the fucking thing. And then you look at like, you know, I think that was, I mean, I'm glad when I'm dead. No regrets. But I think that would have been, I should have been smart.

Maybe after next year when you take it, you're off. Maybe I retire. Or A, when you moved in Nashville. There's definitely a piece of you that seems like, you're ready to. Huh? I like that. A little chill up your spine? What area is you and me looking at?

South. Okay, so Franklin area, Leber's Fortier. Yeah, Brentwood. Yeah. Okay. She wants a lot of land. Here's what I'm going to do. You need a leap is fort.

I'm going to, oh, I already know. I got my life. Oh, let me drink. It feels so good when you have alcohol in you. Oh, okay. How much space do we have? 30 minutes. Okay.

We have the hard cafe at 30 minutes as our memory cards are losing. First thing I'm going to do, we're going to buy a lot of land, and I'm going to build a running track through the woods. I'm going to build it. I'm going to dig it out with like a digger and go through and build a running track. One and a half mile loose.

That's number one. Okay. Okay. All right. Number two, no one will be able to see or hear me. I can walk around naked everywhere. We're going to be on top of the mountain overlooking a beautiful sunset. There's going to be a lake on this property. My tour bus will be there.

That's where I'll sleep. But we're going to have a barn dominium. That's where Leanne's going to live. I can't fucking wait. We're going to have, Leon just fell in love with this assault rifles. We're going to have assault rifles out there. Okay. I'm getting a fruit for Christmas.

Animals are no animals. Dude. I'm taking animals to the next level. Don't. Listen. I'm buying endangered species. I'm buying. I'm going to have links.

I'm going to have big cats. Big cats are going to roam my fucking property. And I'm going to have a litter of fucking Doggo Argentinos. Pull up Doggo Argentino. Yeah, they're insane, bro. I'm going to have a fucking litter of those bitches. Let me see those things. Let me see them little boys.

Pull up Doggo Argentino and then Savannah cats. Look at that fucking beast. All right. I'm going to have all those ears cropped. Can I be honest with you? Yes. Don't like the cropped ears. Don't crop the ears.

Whatever. Hey, hey, your life, your choice. Yeah, you're right. I'll circumcise them then. Then, and then pull up Savannah cat. Pull up Savannah cat. Look at that. A butterfly on his fucking nose.

Now, wait, you see these cats, I'm going to have fucking running around my property. Savannah cat. These things are fucking huge. Looks like a... They're fucking massive. They're like 70 pounds. Looks like little bobcats. Yeah, I'm going to have a ton of those.

I'm a few parrots. I'm going to have some macaws. I'm going to really just have a little. fucking wild kingdom. I'm never coming over. Look at that thing. Look at that thing. Look at that thing.

Look at that thing. Get up there again. Let me see that. Oh, God. Get up. Oh, my God. Right? They know how to open doors.

They know probably a lot more. Here's my question, though. Now, here's my thing. And I'm going to lean on you guys for this. For real. And we did this when we moved to L.A., when we moved to the Valley. I want to make friends.

Like, I want to have regular friends. Okay? All right. So, like, and I'm going to, Like, because like, I can't just move here and then just be friends with you guys in jellyroll and earnest and like celebrities, you know? Like, I want to have also regular friends. Not more better than you guys, but like, no, but like.

We're going to like a step above. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, but no, but I know. People that are, people that are in town not on the road all the time. Yeah. Like, I want to like, I want to, like, I want to, because we're going to spend half our year here and then half our year in L.A. And I was like, I was like, yeah, but we move here.

We're like, we should like, like hang out with people. Community. Yeah, be a part of the community. Like, here's my big thing. I want to throw a party every year, like one party. Okay, let me tell you about national parties. In groups of people, people lay claims to parties.

Like, oh, so-and-so does the Halloween party. The Rhett family, they, along with Talen, do the Halloween party at their farm. Oh. We do the Luans. We do the Easter party. Okay. And so there's always... Time out.

There's a Halloween party coming alive this year. At our house. Yeah, but that's actually a Wynn brainchild. My oldest daughter, Winn Rebel LeWan. She has a little brainchild.

Christmas? Thanksgiving. Mm-mm. You got to go obscure. Pull up holidays. Pull up holidays. Flag Day. Flag Day.

President's Day. Arbor Day. Yeah, Arbor Day. Oh, just Monday night football. Dude, have you been to Oregon? Of course you've been to Oregon. How amazing is the trees in Oregon? Are they fucking unbelievable or what?

They're fucking. level. Yes. Do you know, do you know, here's what's wrong with me. This is why I'm insufferable, okay? This is why I'm insufferable. All right. Everything you say, I've done it times 10. Do you know I, I climbed to the top of the redwoods and hung out for roughly two hours at the top of the redwoods. Like a tree. A tree. You climbed up a tree. I jugged up a redwood. Jugging is when you get the rope and you do this. I jugged to the top of a redwood and hung out for two hours. You smoke. No, I was stone sober and terrified. It is wild how quiet it is and how the wind talks to you and the trees move and you can feel, you can see the wind coming by the trees moving and then it hits you.

It is surreal. Everything you've ever talked about in anything in life. I think that's me at the top of the redwood. We bungee jumped off it. God, that is so cool. Dude, I, uh... When we were in Eugene, we like went and walked through. Sober.

I haven't smoked or anything. And me, JP and Garrett were kind of walking through a will is coming to meet us. And we just find these trees. And it was like, I'm like touching the trees and feeling the texture of the trees. Someone felt like foam. Some of them felt hard. And I was like, this is like the most incredible vegetation I've ever seen in my life. One day I'll do a podcast where I tell you all the stuff I've done that you'd never believe.

Like slept in the world's largest cave in Vietnam. Six hour hike in, six hour hike out. The cave's so big, the Empire State Building could fit inside the cave. Stayed in there for a night. When I was on Travel Channel, I did the craziest things. Someone said to me the day, have you ever swam with sharks? I was talking to a surfer. He's like, you've ever swam of sharks?

I've swam with great white sharks out of the cage. I've seen with great white sharks in the cage. That's the cave. It's fucking insane. Does it really look like that? You know what I did? Yeah. Or is it like a filter?

Uh-uh. Because that's always. And type in Bert Kreiser in this cave. Type Burke Chryser in Vietnam Cave. And you'll see. Actually, first type in Bert Chrysrarcher in this cave. Just type in that. I want to see what comes up.

There's one cave. Two years. Fair enough. Fair enough. That is a fair thing. But it's, it's, uh, I, I swam, I've swam with sharks probably 10 times. I've swam, I've swam with, uh, whale sharks. I've swam with, have you swam with orcas?

I almost did. Do you remember? I want that so bad. So they do that in our buddy John Mann's, one of my buddy, best buddies. He does that in Norway every year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Norway is a spot. That's where you do it. Yeah. You can actually swim with them there? You swim with them and you go out and they fucking, they're cool as shit. Is it true that no one has ever been killed? There's never been a recorded kill of a Great White Shark outside of captivity.

Okay, once again, we're going into a Burk Chrysler rabbit hole. Okay. I believe the second we released, we stopped having SeaWorld with the Great Killer Whales, they started retaliating against us. Have you noticed that they're attacking boats like crazy now? There was a whole thing about that. Weren't you and Jack talking about that one time? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Big orca individuals here. I'm also a fan. It never happened before. I'm a big fan too. I'm a big C-world fan. But the second we didn't have Shammu anymore, that's me with Great White Sharks right there. It's me in the cage.

You see the picture? Yeah, pull that. To the right. I'd be asked to identify with that one. That's my daughter's in the cage of Great Wark. Have you ever seen with sharks? No. Oh my God.

The black tip? Is that something right? That's me inside the cage. That's a great white shark. I've swam with those. Yeah. Did you? Hawaii?

Yeah. No out in Borobora for the honeymoon. Nice. Motorcycle. You know what? so crazy. I was listening to a podcast the other day about, this is when I feel like I'm spinning out of control. I was listening to a podcast about, uh, about, uh, sitting bowl, right? And Custard's last stand. Okay. Custards last stand was in, uh, in Dallas. No, no. Clue? The library?

San Clemente. The revolver. Omaha. It was in the Dakotas. It was in North Dakota. Got you. Sturgis. This is near Sturgis. Okay. It's near surges. It is. I only know that because I I was a I reenacted Custer's last stand with those with Lakotas I think it's Lakotas

at the actual place we had hunted Buffalo with the Crow Nation that evening we hunted Buffalo one of the most beautiful motorcycles are you a motorcycle guy I like I enjoy motorcycles

quite a bit I'm not a Harley guy but I grew up on dirt bikes freestyle motorcross was my like first love of my life we hunt Buffalo at sunset we land a helicopter on top of mountain

I get on my motorcycle it's an Indian chief I get on my, no, no, no, it was a victory judge. And I get on the motorcycle and I start riding through the hills of Montana. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. And a pack of wild horses catches up with me on top of a fucking mountain. And I'm listening to Wilco.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And I'm going fucking 30 miles an hour with horses racing next to me going like, what fucking world am I living in? Then we take it over to where Sitting Bull had his last, uh, Gus had his last stand. And they reenacted the thing. the kids, they do this thing if they touch you, it's more insulting than if they kill you. The idea that an Indian could get it, a Native American could get it close enough

to touch you, but not hurt you, was more insulting than dying itself. And they did that to me nonstop. They put me on a horse and they just came up just screaming, fucking all painted yellow, naked on fucking horses, a little loincloth just touching me and just, it was fucking insane.

Yeah, dude, I lived a crazy fucking life. The travel channel stuff I did, or one day I'll talk about it on something, but it's like the, for fucking seven years, I traveled around the world over and over again, just around the world. You'd pick a map and you'd get a map and you go, where do you want to go? And I'd go, I've heard of Tanzania. What does that like?

And then you'd be like, well, you can also go to Zanzibar. You're like, is that a real place? And then we just travel the fucking world. It was insane. You've lived a good life, bro. It's a fantastic life. I really have. Sounds like you're ready for the calm a little bit.

It feels like you're ready for the call. You'll be having more stories after this next year. Nope. Yeah, you will because you'll be traveling. Just be quiet. I'm thinking about here's, okay, so real quick, when we wrap up. So I'm thinking of places. Yeah, we had to twist a question.

Twisting question. What's one thing? So I'm thinking of like things that Leanne, Leanne wants to go on safari. She wants to go on safari. So I'm going to take her to Africa. But then I was like, yo, you're in Africa, right? I want to go down the Nile. Right?

I want to see the pyramids. Yeah. Right. So then you go, okay, so let's take a month. Let's do Africa. Let's do Africa. Let's do Africa. Let's go to the Maldives. Let's go. I'm not just going to go to fucking do one thing. We don't have kids anymore. They're in fucking college. Let's go do the thing. It's like it's Nashville. We're here in Nashville. She's like, you know, spend the week here. Yeah, let's look at houses. Then we go to Oregon on Thursday and spend the weekend in Oregon. And then we're home. And so Africa, what's one thing you want to do? One thing you want to see really badly in this world. We'll go first. Oh, Orcas. I would love this one with Orca Wales. I think that's the top of my bucket list. And I do think doing a safari, I hear South Africa is incredible.

Yeah. Doing like, you know, up early in the morning, like getting close to some lions, like close enough to death. But I think those two things would be sick. Or get maybe in the jungle and be amongst some gorillas. I think that would be really fun. Oh, where they charge you and they go, yeah, where you're a little nervous, but you got the guide with you telling you how to be and how to act. But you're scared enough. You're like, I literally might have to pick up a go right here.

Yeah. God, that sounds. But, lions, gorillas and orcas. Lions, gorillas. Okay, so you're a big animal guy. That'd be my big three. Or amongst a wolves.

Oh, yeah. But you've done that. You've done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done that. Actually, down close to, uh, to Tampa. Really? There's like this sanctuary of wolves.

Oh, I worked with wolves. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure you have. That's amazing. For me. They smell like shit. Like, just giving you a heads up.

They weren't terrible. They weren't terrible. But wolves don't, no one washes a wolf. It's one thing I learned. The, uh, My wife when we first met, she told me, she's like, the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, I'm going to go to Iceland with. And we still, to this day, have not been to Iceland. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

You ready? So hold on. I'm sorry. Leanne will not listen to this podcast. So I'm surprising her with a trip. Okay. Okay. And we're going to, she's always wanted to go to Paris.

And so she won't hear this. And by the way, don't fucking be a dick and text her this. Just let this happen. I'm already thinking about clipping it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're doing a two bears, a porosos signing in San Francisco. And I was like, yo, I was like, the next one's a week later in Tampa. I go, why don't we just go to Paris for the fucking week?

And so I don't know whether, and I'm curious what you would do in your relationship, do I legit fucking surprise her and go like, I grab her passport, I bring no clothes, just go like, we're in San Francisco and go, yo, get on a next. flight, we're going, and she's like, wait, this is in our flight. We're going to Paris. Do I do that? Or do I tell her a week ahead of time and let her get ready for it and bring clothes? Oh, for sure, don't tell her. Don't tell her. That's personally me. Depends. How's your wife? Is she a planner? Oh, are you going to shop in San Francisco? You know what I mean?

Because I know, I know Charles, she would like to, whatever spots would go do to eat dinner, like she would have to, she would enjoy having her outfits picked out. So if you do surprise her, it might be one of those things where you land. You take her shopping in Paris to get set outfit for dinner. That's way better than being like, hey, go pick out some outfits. Right. If you want to, if you want to spend that kind of money. Yeah.

But yeah, I'm surprised would be good, but I do think keep in mind how they want to be for dinner and having everything kind of like having some type of, hey, we're going to hit this restaurant, we're going to hit that one. Yeah. So I'm thinking about a bunch. I'm thinking about a bunch of those trips. That's my way. Last minute going, hey, we're going, because she's been really good about that.

Like, she's been good about not telling me where we're going. And they're all always concerts. We've into Pearl Jam. We've been to like Eagles and. It's been awesome, but like, I like the surprise, but also I don't know, like, it's kind of a bro move. Be like, I would say, I would say my wife would love the surprise and she would be even more surprise and more excited knowing that I had some things planned out. Being like, oh, you, you did this on your own type of thing.

Like, you pulled all this shit off and you're like, yeah, I got everything taken care of. See, Taylor knows I'm not capable of like planning that much. She would be so incredibly excited if I was like, hey, guess where we're going. We're going to Iceland. We're going to Paris. Dude, you got to tell her she said, well, what am I about about close? I don't even know what the gate, but don't even worry about.

We're going to get close when we get there. We'll get close when we get there. That is, to me, to me, and for talent, talent, love surprises.

She's all fucking about surprises. I'm terrible at doing surprises. So that, personally, I think, that's fucking awesome. I just told this surprise on the podcast.

Yeah. But like, she won't listen to it. And just be cool, everyone. Don't send it to her. Don't be like that. We're not going to clip anything.

We're not going to clip anything. We're not going to clip anything. We're going to have clips for the show now. This is better. I'm going to release it now. No. How much did you sell this podcast for? I don't think we can even do that.

Okay, if I said, I'll give you $30 million for the podcast right now. Would you sell it? To have everything? No, but I get it. I get it. I buy it for $30 million. I bet. I get it.

I give you $30 million. And then I get to, you guys keep doing it. But now I'm like a 50-50 partner with you. Oh, 50-50? Oh, 50-50? So, no, you guys get 25 each, and then I get 50% each. And then would you do that to a company? No.

Okay. Maybe. $100 million. Yes. $100 million? Oh, yeah. $100 million, you have 80%. You keep your IP, but you...

Am I calling the shots? Creative freedom for us? No, no. I mean, yes, yes, but no. Yeah, but it's somebody to call us and be like, we want you to say this on the show. Hey, man, I'm all I'm thinking is my sponsors right now. Hey, uh...

Twissety. NASCAR has got an event. You're like, oh, I'm, yeah, well, we need you to do this NASCAR event. you're going to have to fly down to Daytona. That's a bad example because they were a sponsor of two bears. And I like NASCAR a lot. I was going to say like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right?

That's a bad one. Yeah, 30 million, though. Well, so what's the end game? What's the end game? I don't think we're not. That's where I'm at where I'm like, what's my end game? Like, do I do stand up forever? Do I do the podcast forever?

Do I, do I, is there a chance that I retire? I will, I'll tell you this about my personal end game. if you asked me this a year ago, there was no end game. Yeah. Now, I literally, I talked about this in the podcast a few times. I spent,

for the first time in my adult life was in Canada for a week and sat there and was like, oh, fuck, I really am enjoying doing nothing and just being with my family. And it's really fucked me up since then to where now I'm like,

okay, how does, how do I eventually just do nothing? Or do only the things that I really enjoy. How do I become as involved of a dad as possible and around the family,

90% of time as opposed to What about this? Does something, having something, does that keep you healthy? Yes. Because something keeps me healthy. Nothing keeps me very unhealthy. Because I'd love to like expand the brand.

Like I'd love to make this more of a locker room. Other athletes, just other other influencers, entertainers. Were you doing? You're moving to Nashville? Yeah. Inside the walls at all times. Yeah. I sold my soul of that fucking past fat guy.

To Will Smith and Hollywood. I'm fucking in bed with Tommy so deep right now. You have no idea. We have so much. money together. You don't have a fucking yeah but if there

if there was a way for busing to not just like obviously will and I being the faces of it but having other people part of it part of it like

Delaney Walker he's been a person that's been embedded into the fall for us that's awesome he's a great personality he's great to have around like having more people

like that to kind of like lift the load of the in front of camera stuff would be awesome yeah it's just such a great fucking thing you guys have built

how real is this $30 million offer I don't know. I think that's where the future is. Pardon me. No, part of me goes like, okay.

Oh, man, I'm fucking. You already know when he gets off here, he's going to call Tom. Like, I was feeling him out a little bit. Sounds like we're going to buy him for, they said for sure 100 million. So we have between 30 and 100 to really figure out. 30 is the working number.

30 is the working number. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know. It's like, it's like you can tell what's going to be good. Like, I could never have, I could never have predicted. where Pat McAfee is. Because when he was doing it,

it was just, there wasn't a, there wasn't a system in place to show you what was going to happen. But now that you've seen what Pack McAfee has done, you see the future of everything, a little bit. Now he,

he laid fucking, I mean, it's amazing. Even still, look at Rogan. Once you saw what Rogan did, you're like, wow.

That's what I'm saying, between the Rogan, the McAfee, very quickly, we look at Theo and we all go, we know where this is going. Right. Right.

Yeah. So you know there's a dude smarter than us going, they know where this is going. Right. Right. So then that's what I find really fascinating. And then you look at the kids that are, I say kids, but like, you know, Dan Soder. You know Dan Soder at all? Yes.

Dan Soder just started doing his own podcast. And his podcast is killing it very easily you could go. I know where that's going. Like that's where I go like, okay. So then what's the price point? And if you know where it's going, the fucking Soder's podcast is a miss. So Dan Soder is. going to be so you said who's the next guy for real dance odor dance odor is fucking

brilliant legit he will be doing an arena tour next in two years 2026 2026 he'll be doing arena tour he's so fucking talented he's so goddamn talented I mean that's all but it's you know you know I'm saying though like once you see that like that's why you got a hats off to back fees like he saw where it was going before anyone saw where it was going and you guys got kind of did too but like He had this crazy vision of like, like, right. He's a lot like Tommy in respects of him going like, I don't care what people think. I'll do whatever I think. And it's badass.

He even watched College Game Day. He's changed that show and made it 10 times back. It was already a fantastic show. It was a great show. I watch it every, my daughter hit me up. She was like, yeah, we're going to college game day. Yeah, the atmosphere is electric. She's like, do you know these guys?

And I was like, I know one of them. Yeah. Yeah, but like it's crazy. My daughter doesn't give a fuck about football. She goes to college game day. Right. It's crazy. What's the most fun podcast you've ever done where you were like, man, I really had,

I had no idea was going to be that good of a time, but fuck, that was so much fun. I'll tell you, honestly, the first podcast I ever did with Bill was like the first time we started doing Bill Burt, those first three ones we did, I mean, like, and I'm a fan of his, but like, I was fucking blown away. I was like, because you forget how funny someone is. And like that and then and then honestly I don't think I was doing two bears yet I think me and Tom had done one

But and then when I started doing the first The first two bears ones when the pandemic was kicking And we started doing every week Dude Tommy just had me every five He just knew me so well He had me rolling those were the I if I could go back I'd erase all my podcasts I've ever done And I just have those first two bears

And the first Bill Burtz were like, I was just like, I mean, I remember the first one I did with Bill was like, I walked off and I was like, I was like confidently going, someone by a new house. This is going to make so much fucking money. I was like, this is, I was like he's fucking brilliant. I mean, he just would like, I didn't say anything. And I got shit. Hey, it's us, the Jonas brothers.

And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, name? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey, Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it.

We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts. We're starting a trend. But this one's extra special. So how do we actually come up with a name, Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. Well, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band.

Before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast.

But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential.

Either way, the podcast Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jacob Kingston grew up in an isolated polygamous sect. We were God's chosen kingdom on earth. He felt destined for greatness. So when a swaggering Armenian businessman catapults Jacob into an extraordinary world, he doesn't look back.

Ferraris and Lamborghinis, private jets, meeting the president of Turkey. I'm Michelle McPhee, and this is one of the most shocking criminal conspiracies I've ever come across. When Jacob met Levant this plant to a billion dollar fraud. But with two kings from entirely different worlds, just how long can their empire survive? The largest tax investigation in American history. You need to tell me what you know. Is somebody coming after me? Jacob told Levan, you're ruining my life.

Listen to Kingdom of Fraud on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I talk over everyone, and I got shit on on that podcast. I would not talk. I swear to God, on Bill Burt. I would just sit and listen and laugh hysterically the whole time. Same with like the beginning of two bears was like was like that Those were fucking great I'll tell you what the best podcast I've ever been a part of

End of the world with Joe Stanhope me Bill was the I mean it was fucking insane it was insane it was like Marilyn Manson was there It was like the craziest fucking night of our lives I didn't think you do with Joe the first I mean the hardest I've ever laughed on a podcast without a doubt

is when Tom shaved my beard on Tom shaved my beard on Rogan for the weight loss challenge He shaved it and he as you shaving and I said does it look good And he looked in his eyes he's like no And I couldn't the two of us laughing It's the closest I've ever had to having sex with a man Like me and him laughing in each other's eyes in that moment

Was like such a pure joy Like I fucking was crying And he's just laughing shaving me Making me look like a Puerto Rican guy look at this With that Tommy was. God. Look at this.

This is the moment. You ready? This is Joe recording it, by the way. This is how long ago Joe was. That's God, those are the good laugh. Dude, play that at my funeral. Played at my funeral. If I even have one.

I don't know if that's real. The whole death thing. If I ever have one. It's like 500 years from now. You're like, see? Doesn't exist. I hung up with the dude that was 93 the other day. That's like major main character syndrome.

Oh, I got main character. Oh, yeah. I'm saying like just not believe in death. is like, okay. Everyone dies. Has it happened to you? No. But I'm, I'm the main character.

Well, okay. You've been to a funeral? Wasn't you, was it? Was it you? Was it? Gentlemen. Hey, this is awesome. Thank you.

We have to do tear talk. We could hold tier talk for the intro. What's tier talk? Tier talk is you're just evaluating your top three favorite things of that category. Of tears? Okay. Of tears? We have time.

We got it. Back of the backup things. We're going to go to go check out houses, by the way. Cool. All right, five minutes. Is she out there? Knock it out. Oh, they're bag of those, though.

Oh, great. Gotcha. Which one are we doing? Uh, tier talk, holiday parties. Okay, okay. Holiday parties. You're going to start at three. You're going to tell us why three is your third favorite.

Then tier two. Okay. Then you're going to finish with tier one, which is your absolute favorite. Okay. So who wants to go first? Will, go ahead. What I hate about this is, I don't know if Halloween is in my top three. Oh.

I think my tier two. No, no, no, no. A question. Is Thanksgiving? Is that a party? Is that, is that, is that? Oh, my God, yes. Well, yeah, Thanksgiving.

Yeah, I guess. I would argue Thanksgiving is, is nothing but an entire day party. It might. And you got, you got football on. Dude, Thanksgiving. I would say number two, my tier three is going to be a Christmas party. Okay. Like the Christmas party that we do a few days before Christmas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make the gingerbread houses. Oh, you guys got to come to that if you live in Nashville. We're building some good traditional stuff in our, in our, in our, our in our Christmas party, some really good traditional stuff in our Christmas party. But that would be my tier three. My tier two would be Thanksgiving. I feel like you have Thanksgiving.

You have NFL football. You're eating. You're eating leftovers. You're eating pies. Like everybody comes over together. Somebody's usually bringing a dish. I absolutely love Thanksgiving. If that fits into our holiday parties, then Thanksgiving is my tier two.

My tier one, nearest and dearest to my heart, I love the Fourth of July. I think Fourth of July is celebrating America, getting together. You're making me so glad I'm American. Getting together with your families. Can you believe they just have Ramadan? What is it? Like if you live in like Egypt, you just get like Ramadan where you don't eat. You see, I don't know.

Like they don't have Fourth of July. They don't have New Year's Eve. Maybe they do, but it's like whatever. Not as exciting. They don't have Christmas. They don't even have Hanukkah. They don't even have Hanukkah. They don't have like all the shit.

We have the best fucking parties. We have a great roster. We have a great roster of holiday parties. If you were selling a country, meaning like if you're like, you'll come to America, I just want to start off by telling you all the days we party. You'd be like, why would I go in any account? I'm not going to Iraq. Yeah, well, let's sit down and let me tell you about.

Yeah, definitely not Iraq. Well, it's like I'm not going to go to Russia. No, fuck. What about Amsterdam? I think Amsterdam is a place that. I wonder what the roster holidays are. Yeah. Oh, they do.

They celebrate everything. They're like, oh, we celebrate like French Independence Day. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like they get out of school. By the way, I get out of school for it. I don't even think they go. We got some good holidays where we get out of school.

I think they're all homeschooled. Really? All the Amsterdam kids, they don't even, like, they just sell weed in their hookers, I think. There's two crew pass? I don't know much. There's no trade there. There's no trade. I'll tell you what, hot chicks ride bikes there.

That's the crazy thing. That is wild. Hot chicks ride fuck. Probably not even 10 speeds either, the ones you really have to pedal through. I'd argue, oh, yeah, they're the ones with handles like this. Yeah. And a basket. Beach cruisers.

The hottest women in the world are in Amsterdam. I've heard Israel is up there. Dude, I slept on Indian. chicks for a long time. Indian chicks, without a doubt. You woke up now. Oh my God. That's my one regret. I never had sex with an Indian chick. It's like, I think they're

absolutely stunning. Yeah. I mean, Indian chicks are like, and what's crazy is I say that every time I meet an Indian person, I tell them I never fucked it. You got to let them know. Yeah, I let them know. I've ever had. Yeah. So the last one's Fourth of July. Tier 1. Okay.

That concludes my tier talk. I'm going to give fuck. dude, I'm going to give an honorable mention to college Halloween parties. There is a special place for that. I just think as an adult, yes. Yeah, I do agree that like Halloween parties as an adult is a little bit more difficult. We're trying to cook one up this year to kind of get it, you know, pumpkin carving competition, kind of do all the things you do. But, uh, you lose the sluttiness.

There is nothing. Yes. There's nothing like being a horny 19 year old going to a Halloween. Halloween house party. Oh, everyone's a whore. Yes. Everyone. It is.

It's really something special. I've never seen a slutty tactician before. Yeah. Like, they're just, everyone's dressed as a slut, whatever it is. Oh, it's awesome. My tier three is going to go to, nice. My tier three is going to go to, uh, Fourth of July. The barbecues, the summertime, the tank tops, the twisted teas.

Okay. It is a, it's a fucking, it's just a great time. It's the peak of summer. And it's just, you know, people love, it's like, it's like, it's a, almost cool. Like you said, it's like cool not to have a religion. It's like cool not to be about America.

But that's not cool to me. When you get to Fourth of July and you see the flags flying, people about it, playing bags, all those things like that to me is just, it's fucking, it's beautiful. My tier two,

and you guys, it probably wouldn't have been my tier two until my eyes were open to the idea of Thanksgiving being a full day. Oh. Because it really is. So as I'm getting older, I enjoy party so much. for a couple of reasons.

I enjoy it. One, because I want my kids when I grew up and if I do die for that really exists, if I die, my kids are like, yo, my dad, I want them to talk about how psychotic I was about holidays. Something about bringing the cheer in and every single thing.

Spooktober, Thanksgiving, Christmas, but like Thanksgiving last year, we have 30 people at the house. There's endless supply of food. We're adding this year, I want to do a prize for way-ins and way-outs.

Who gains the most during Thanksgiving? Gameify life. Yes, yes. And it's just like, I just love like how it's like yeah people's got their diet they have their ideas

of what they want to look like but on that day it doesn't fucking matter at all you can drink as much as you want you have the entire weekend to eat the same food for the entire weekend if not bleeding into the next week so I think that's awesome

my tier one is Christmas parties dude I think when you get to that like 23rd of December when you have a whole bunch of people coming over and you have full grown adults making gingerbread houses

and having a competition who can make the best gingerbread houses and everyone kind of voting on it and there's an endless supply of the the most intense uh egg nog on top of it and knowing that like no one's got work tomorrow no one's got anything to do the next the next few days and you're going to make it like a a full weekend out of like drinking a little too much pinky swinging to start your diets come the new year you know at that point like all the things i was going to achieve this year that's done now because i know 2025 is a week away

and that's when I'll restart everything so it's like really throwing your inhibitions to the wind and being like dude fuck it like we're gonna do whatever we want here it's just there's something about darkness with all your friends around and the only thing lighting up the outside are Christmas lights and just giving

you that like oh fuck dude it really is cheer dude the music is going you got Elvis on you've got Mariah Carey going you got all the different kinds of music. And it's got this like peppermint Christmas tree smell that just is an aura throughout everybody.

Everyone's a little bit fucking happier. You can be having the worst week of your life. But on those couple of days, that week, it's like, what are we all upset about? Dude, you got me so fucking five. Right? Have a sit, dude. Have a sit at twist of you right now. It's that fucking good.

And it bums me out that, uh, because I'm obviously a huge sputober guy. But that, dude, I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing when I moved to Nashville. What's that? All right, let's work through my tier. Coming to these parties. Oh, no, I got my party.

I got my party. I got my party. I know how I'm going to own Nashville. I got my party. Okay. Let's work it backwards. Thanksgiving is awesome. Tier three?

Tier three. Okay. It gives you a whole day of partying. The whole day is about one event. No one has to give a present, which is perfect. There's no anxiety about presents. That's what makes this beautiful. It's just telling somebody what's.

they mean to you. Yes. Why I'm thankful that you're in my life. Oh, you get the big house. Everyone's there. Everyone comes in, brings a little something, nothing but love. Football's on all fucking day. So important in a holiday is what do we have playing in the background?

Oh, I love Thanksgiving. Number two, I'm going to say St. Patrick's Day. Okay. Now, I want you to know that I have not unveiled what will be my Nashville holiday that I will own. Berk Chrysha will come to Nashville and I will own this day. Marty girl. Nope, no, buddy, you're so far off. But let's celebrate St. Patrick's Day.

Okay. Best St. Patrick's Day I ever had. 1995. My buddy Hutch called me and said I have a Vespa and a pocket full of mushrooms. Do you want to go on a ride? And I sat backwards on a Vespa, high on mushrooms, St. Patrick's Day, drunk as fuck, tripping my balls off, driving through Tallahassee. St. Patrick's Day, it brings the champion out of all of us.

We get up early. We get to the bar early. We kill beers early. We fucking stay up late. If you got to do Coke, we get it. It's St. Patrick's Day. And it's all about luck. I mean, luck is, I believe more in luck than I do hard work.

I think luck is so more important than hard work. How many people did you play football with that were like so fucking good, but then just never got to the next play? And they just never had that one thing, the one coach that saw them, the one time. They just didn't they fumbled in the one time It's luck is so fucking important And that is why my number one And my name's Burke Chrysher I'll be moving to Nashville And I will be celebrating this every year

And I will be throwing this party And I can't wait to you guys come Chinese New Year's Oh shit It's all about luck It's all about luck You dress all in red You bring fresh ones crisp from the bank

It's all about gambling making noise Pull up Chinese New Year's Pull up Bert Chrysor Chinese New Year's I've celebrated it every year I love it. It's my favorite holiday. You eat a ton, you drink a ton, you yell, you bring an Asian cultural center in. They dress as dragons. That's me and Oliver Stone at Chinese New Year's.

This I fucking love Chinese New Year's more than anything. And when I moved to, God, look how fucking fat I am. Well, he looks better than me. How's that possible? When I moved to Nashville, I will be throwing the most epic Chinese New Year's parties every fucking year in January. everyone's dressed in red. That's us in Amsterdam. That's when I flew those guys out for Chinese New Year's,

all dressed in red, gambling, eating mushrooms, partying our balls off, but without a doubt. And it's cultural appropriation. Chinese New Year's is my favorite. Bad question. When is Chinese New Year's? I don't know. But you're going to own it. It's like sometimes in January, sometimes in January.

We'll be here in January. January 29th late January and it's always the year of something too Oh I think this year is drag in the snake Last year was the monkey I think Or the rat What year is it this year?

But it's so fucking fun I would take I would take a hundred dollars And fresh ones Put them in a put in a Ziploc bag Put a rock in it Throw at the bottom of the pool And then in the middle of the party I'd go

$100 to the bottom of the pool And all the kids would die Jump in the pool Try to get that $100 Dude, I honestly, I'm, I get so wild at Chinese New Year's. That year I was with Oliver Stone, there was, like, oh, it's my year, 1989. Oh, wow. You're the snake, though.

You're the snake. It's last year I was making it rain on these Asian kids. I was on top of a ladder, and I was like just throwing ones on them, just making it rain on them. And Oliver Stone saw that, and he's like, who the fuck is this guy? I was like, buddy, you bought the rights to my life. He was like, what? I was like, dude, you're the reason I'm here. You're the reason I have all this.

If you had done that, I wouldn't be here. He's like, I don't remember that. I don't remember that. Yeah, see, he's wearing red. Chinese New Year's, man. It's fucking dope. It is the coolest fucking party. Oh, Chinese New Year's.

I'm going to own Chinese New Year's in Nashville. Yeah, fuck you out. Bert, thank you for coming on. I love you guys. I love you guys. Honestly, you've changed my lives in so many ways. My friendship with both of you means a great deal. And I'm telling you, you guys welcoming Leanne to the Bureau of Olympics last year.

It was the coolest thing that that woman's ever done. She does not stop talking about it. She is a ride or die for both you motherfuckers, like hardcore and Michael Chandler. She's one of the boys, man. She is, man. She's unbelievable. And then you've become an awesome friend to both of us.

You've given us amazing experiences, letting us come to your movie premiere. Just being a part of your life is special, man. I just, I can't wait till you guys do Rogan. Love you, bro. I love you guys. Love you, brother. Joe. September 5 stars.

Hey guys, it's us The Jonas Brothers, I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it.

We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth.

Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where SportsSlice comes in. I'm Timbo, and every episode we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the biggest moments in sports

and giving you the real story behind the headline. And we're going straight to the source, the athletes themselves, their locker room stories, their reactions in the moment, and the stuff nobody gets to hear. Listen to Sports Slice on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And for more,

follow Timbo Slic Life 12 in the TikTok podcast network on TikTok.