Bussin' With The Boys - Chris DeStefano Explains Why He Loves New York & America + Why He Doesn't Use Social Media

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Recorded: July 6th 2023 | On this weeks episode, Willy is back from his Italy trip and he gives us the full rundown on it all. He also gets into the full blown war he got into with Expedia and how he came out victorious. Will also gets into how his boss, Dave Portnoy, bought back Barstool for $1 and how massive that is. We have your favorite weekly segments as well. Following the intro, the boys sit down with comedian Chris DeStefano. Chris and the boys immediately get into the hard hitting topics of American Pride and that we should have gender reveals on the 18th birthday. Chris is a New York guy through and through and talks about how he never sees himself leaving the state. Chris then talks about how there was a period of time where he didn’t like who he was becoming because he felt that he was only doing things for the money. He talks about the toll that it all took on him and how he got out of that funk. Chris also talks about how if he were to ever get canceled, he would just make content out of it and be able to make fun of himself. The boys then bounce around all of the place. They get into the GOATs of the food industry, a list that you would not see coming. How people should not make being a sports fan their entire identity and that only children should be the only ones who wear jerseys. Also the moment that Will and Taylor realized that they were good enough to make it to the NFL, which is a cool story. Chris also gives some insight into the comedy culture. He talks about how many comedians can truly sell out wherever they go, which the number might surprise you. He also talks about how inviting the comedy community is and how some guys will help each other out. Chris is a hilarious dude and has some really good one liners in here that will definitely give you a chuckle. Enjoy boys. 1:15 Will recaps Italy and his war with Expedia 18:42 Dude Wipes shittiest moment 26:00 Shoutout no free shoutout 27:08 Dave bought back Barstool 35:05 Will gives the highlights of Italy 40:47 Tier Talk 48:18 Chris DeStefano preview 49:56 CHRIS DESTEFANO INTERVIEW STARTS 51:59 2:10 American pride 59:52 9:55 Chris is a New York guy 1:02:00 12:00 Comedy isn’t his end all be all and not doing things for money 24:20 Chris is off of social media 29:30 How do you plan ahead for balancing money and time 34:30 Does he struggle with podcasting and everything being in the public 43:30 GOATs of the food industry 46:40 Don’t make being a sports fan your entire identity 53:00 People from New York love New York + where would he live other than NY 59:35 Chris was familiar with the boysFor more, visit barstool.link/bussinwtbSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Bust with your boys. I'm your host, Will Compton, co-host Taylor LeWan. He is out in Canada right now. Your boy just got back from Italy. I'm about as tan as I've ever been. Get a good look. This will be the tannest I will ever be. Before we get into this episode, we have to shout out our sponsor. sponsor Expedia for this episode. I'm just fucking with you. Chevy. Obviously Chevy Silverado. Summer is here and what better way to take advantage

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So head over to Chevy.com and check out Silverado and all the Chevy trucks, the official truck of busing with the boys. Guys, it is two-week. A two-week vacation is a long vacation. It's a fucking long time to be away, but the wife he wanted it. The wife he wanted two weeks.

She wanted to travel. She wanted to hit Europe. Back before COVID hit, we had a trip planned, a two-week trip that had, like, Italy involved in Europe and Croatia and shit like that. I was fucking ready to put a gun to my head because I don't enjoy being gone that long. But I've never really done it. The most we did was our honeymoon. That was the biggest vacation I ever went on in my life. I'm usually used to being gone for a week, long weekend, maybe four days, maybe five, but never 10, never fucking two weeks.

I know how much we've been doing this year, and I know how many sacrifices have had to be made, especially on her end so we can travel around and do all the things that we do. So, Mama wanted a two-week vacation. The best time to come up with it was late July, early August, in that kind of middle space, around the beginning of training camp and everything else after our summer, because we had a lot of big things in the summer with our beer Olympics, which was an incredible showing. I forget what we did. I think, yeah, I wanted to go home for the Fourth of July, Bontare, Missouri.

see the beautiful dirt and fucking brown out there. And so the wife wanted to go on a two-week vacation. I was off for it just because, again, she wanted, that was her, like, big things she wanted to do. She wanted to take our beautiful child Roo with us. That was a, that was a tall task as well that we can get into. My only stipulation was that we ride first class or business class on the way there and back, because it is a long fucking flight.

And that's what I don't like about those vacations that take a long, in time to travel to. My wife's half Filipino. She wanted to go to the Philippines one year. I committed to it was fully. My flight was booked and everything else. Backed out last minute. Didn't want to do it. I'm just kidding. Free agency started. My agent was like, what are you doing? You can't like leave the country when free agency starting because you might have to do, you might have to go on visits and everything else. That was the year I signed with the Titan. So when I backed out and she was upset about it, because I made a bonehead, a bonehead mistake like I seem to always do. And fortunately, when she was gone, that was when I went to Buffalo and then Tennessee.

But I hate long fucking, hey long trips. My only stipulation was to be the first class, everything else so you can lay flat, especially if we're traveling with fucking root. 16 months old, love her to death. She's the best fucking child on the planet. But traveling with the toddler is tough. It's war. Yeah, you are in battle. You are in the fucking trench. And make no mistake, we were in the trenches a lot compared to all the high, you know, the positives that I showed on Instagram and everything else. We get to the day of travel. And as everybody knows, I had to take the entire country into war with Expedia.

Why? Because when we got to the airport, a smooth two hours early, we were packed and ready to go. And when I tell you, it was time for a trip. I was excited to go to Italy. I was convinced. I'm like, oh, we're eating fucking pizza, pasta. I carbloaded the entire time I was out there. there. And when we get to the airport and realize there's a little bit of a pickle that we're in,

and I was like Tapper, I was like, hey, good thing we got to the airport early. You were right. And we kind of chuckled and stuff. Rue was being an All-Star at the airport. We spent about four hours at the airport only come only to find out that we were nowhere in the computers. We were nowhere in the system. And mind you, we had our receipts. Like we had a receipt number. We had ticket numbers. We had our British Airlines seats, our seat numbers that we were going to be on. showed in the seat map. However, British Airlines at the airport did not have us on the seat map anywhere in the computers.

The only flight where we didn't have the seating assignment was our flight from Nashville to JFK because we had an infant, lap child, lap seat, whatever. So they were going to give it to us at the desk. You know how that goes, JP? We just had a little, we had a little tiff with Taylor at the airport with his seat not being assigned. So I was a little nervous about that.

However, so, okay, we got our child, we'll just get, We're just going to JFK. If everything fails, I'll just buy this trip from here to JFK. And then we get on that British Airlines flight from JFK to London, like what's supposed to happen. American Airlines, they don't see us in the system anywhere. We pull out their seat. We got this. The only thing we were told is that we had to get our seat assignment at the desk.

We're here at the desk. We got a lot of looks that were like, oh, shit, this family is not on these flights. They are not going to Italy right now. So it seems like we couldn't just get on the flight of JFK. We back out of the line. I look up, you know, the boy, adapt, improvise, overcome. Let's figure this out. We're going to Italy.

I see the look on my wife's face. I see what's been going down. I know where this can go. This thing can go south fast. Low key, you can stay home, though. There's a point where I'm like, I mean, it would suck, you know. Sweetheart, I'll make sure we're in Italy. We'll go somewhere in the States.

We'll go back to 30A. Yeah, I was already thinking. Let's do it. Maybe 38. It's a little hot right now. We'll figure something out. Maybe we'll go to Montana. But maybe we'll stay in the States.

Maybe get that thing down in 10 days. But we will go somewhere, sweetheart. Don't you worry? We will figure this out. I see that there are flights available on that JFK flight. Hey, babe, there's still some first class seats right here. We can fucking get there to JFK. Once we get to JFK, we get on that same flight.

The same flight to JFK was still there. They told us there were no seats. We messed with a gentleman that was not very much a gentleman. Fortunately, American Airlines, I will not shit on them because they made it happen for us. this lady, God bless her, worked endless to the fucking end of time to get all of our situation figured out. However, that situation that got figured out ended up being north of a lot of fucking money. Let's just put it that way. And so I go up and I'm like, hey, here's the flight JFK.

We just buy this. We'll be good to go, right? No, you're not on the British Airlines flight. Ma'am, our seat is right here. It says we're on the brink. Sir, I'm just letting you know I'm looking at the computers, the British Air Force. airline people, they don't get in here till 4 p.m., but I've been on the phone with them, one traveler, one world, or whatever, all the different phone companies, playing companies,

whatever, you're not on the flight. We need to be on the flight. You see what I'm saying. We need to be on that flight. My wife comes up, hey, what's happened to sweetheart? You should probably talk to this gal because I'm not quite sure how we're going to get on this flight. It doesn't seem like we're going to Italy anytime soon. Spent another time I'm fucking wheeling to deal with us our day, like putting Root of Sleep. sleep, it's nap time, she's getting a little fussy. I'm like, fuck, man, this is not good. And come to find out, we can't go to Italy.

However, we can now book. So four months ago, we booked our flights on Expedia. We've seen all the back and forth on Twitter. We've seen the comments. Listen, we booked our flights through Expedia, which I have done in the past. I did with our trip to Bora Bora for our honeymoon. Go ahead, JP.

The people want to know, did you book these flights or did Charo book the flights? I booked the flights. I booked the flights. The people you were correct. They said Charles would never make this mistake. She wouldn't. She would. And there was no fault.

There was never at any moment time of Charles being upset with how the process went. It was the lack of communication that we didn't know that there were, we were apparently never seen booked on this flight, which is where the issue was. And four months ago, I booked these flights. Again, my only stipulation, we travel business. We travel, we get the laydown seats. We travel first class to Italy and back, especially with a toddler. And if we're only doing two seats, because if we're not getting the third seat for Roo, I'm not fucking doing it.

I'm not sitting. I'm not doing it. And four months ago, round trip, about 10 grand, which is a steal. That's a steal for this round trip to Italy. Fired the fuck up. We did it. We're going. Fast forward to day of, we're not on the flight.

So now we have to rebook. I'm telling you the price that I had to swipe the card on. It was more than two times that amount. And I tell Charles, and I see the look on her face, I'm like, hey, sweetheart, don't you fuck. This is not going to be the issue. Because we got to get to Italy. We're going to Italy. And then Charles gets on the phone with Expedia customer service while we're driving home.

The person who dropped us off, she's now coming back to pick us up. Hey, good to see again. We're not fucking on the trip. We're staying here tonight. And we're on the phone with Expedia, and I'll spare you all the bullshit. Essentially, the customer service, like a lot of these big fucking companies, they just drag you through the mud until you want to quit. There's nothing.

They can barely speak English. Let me talk to the team. Put you on hold for 30 to 40 minutes. Come back. There's nothing we can do. Or we'll give you a few hundred dollars in credit. We get back home. And Charles, like, should I hang up?

I'm like, no, stay on the phone. Stay on the phone. We'll ride this out. we're going to sit on hold as long as we need to. We get home, we give Rue some food. I order pizza. I tell my wife, sweetheart, we're in Italy. We're fucking going to Italy tonight. It's going to be Italy at the house. Pour out some wine, get out some wine, some bottles of wine. I order some pizza. I go and pick up the pizza. We're in fucking Italy. And we're on hold this whole time. And ultimately, they're not able to do a whole lot.

Then we get to somebody who we can speak to that's a little bit more competent at their job. they'll pay for the upcharge of your tickets. That was solid. But I'm sitting there marinate on it. We have to change now. Our trip basically essentially gets moved back a day. So instead of July 28 to August 12th, it's now July 29th to August 13th. With that, we had some cooking classes.

We had some excursions that we were doing. We had our entire thing booked and planned and all that stuff. We had to change some stuff around now, which is going to cost more money. We had to switch hotels. We had to do an extra day in Capri. We had to switch things around to make sure it all aligned back up again, hoping that we would still be able to get on a couple of the things that we're supposed to get on. So we're still having to come out of Pog for some more money.

It didn't sit right with me. So that is when I took to, I had to, you know, take him, go to the pantry, talk about the situation. Use social media and leverage the influence and the political power that may be. And so as we get going and I'm updating and all this other stuff, I get to finally talk to somebody who's like more so the higher-ups and everything. else. We give them the ticket number and everything else because Expedia was trying to pass the bag and say, this is the airline's fault. We were standing there with the airline. That lady worked her ass off to try and figure it out. Like, no, no, no. This is somebody, the bag got dropped along the way and the credit cards and the fucking transaction and everything else. We need answers. So Expedia made the entire trip right.

And it was a big win for House Compton and America because we almost had to sink their entire ship. I thought when Barcelona, when we were going to have that team meeting, I text Dave and ask him, are we buying Expedia? If so, make me the GM, we need to make this company run a little bit better. Because I think, like, the customer service in just a debacle. And nobody has, nobody, nobody's competent enough, nor do they care because they have to stick to a script. And then they essentially do the fucking bullshit.

Let me talk to my team. They ain't talking to nobody. They're just putting you on hold. Can't do nothing. Hoping you hang up. And nobody has the power to actually make a decision. But they take forever to try to try to. get you to somebody who can make a decision.

Fortunately, it all worked out. But that was, that is the story about traveling to Italy and the expedient and everything else. Are there any questions? Do you feel like I covered everything? Yeah, so ultimately, were you, you were comped? Yes, yes. 100%. 100%.

Free trip to Italy. Free willy. Free willy. for Willie Italian. Yeah, the trip got, the trip got Com, they got taken care of. We had a nice email that came to us. I showed my wife, and we were, as we had to do, so when we traveled over there,

we were supposed to go from JFK to London to Naples, I believe, or Florence. I don't know if Florence has an airport. I don't know, but it was two, we only had like two stops, basically. We had to rebook. We had to do an extra, we had to do a third stop, longer layover. We were in Madrid, and that's when we got the email.

I was like, hey, sweetheart, check this out. Because she was kind of like chuckling and like, why are you going to make a video? I was like, let's just see what fucking happens. I know that felt good, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because sometimes when I make the video, it's like, there's a little bit of doubt that creeps in around me. Like, why are you got to, why are you going to just let's see this through, see what happens? The small guy had to stand up to the big billion dollar company.

Somewhere along the lines, you know when something goes viral enough, haters come out of the woodwork. There's some negativity out there. Oh, look at this guy who makes millions and does all this. He's fucking bitching and stuff until he gets a free trip. We stood up to a billion dollar company, 18 billion market cap, to be exact. The little man had to stand up. And there needed to be a voice for the voiceless. Not everybody can get on and talk and complain about how bad the customer services ran in companies like that.

That is essentially the vessel that I was being. Was it trying to work out my benefit? Yeah. Am I not being like, sorry I'm not standing and being like, hey, get it. sure everybody who gets fucked up, you know, make sure their trips get comps. If I see a bad situation, I am on their side. But something the New York Post started writing about it, Dave comes in. It's like, hey, Dave, you want to be, I thought you're trying to lead the ship.

You don't look like you're trying to lead the ship. It seems like you're making it seem like we made a boneheaded decision. Whether that's up for debate or not, fine. It doesn't matter. I've always used Expedia. Dave never burned me. I've always been an Expedia cap, price line hotels. I'm always looking for the cheaper option.

That's how it's got to work. I've been that way since since in college time. You can't forget where you come from. Because then you forget who you are. Oh. You might have inspired Oliver Anthony to write that song. Maybe.

That's what I'm saying. Bullshit pay them overtime hours. Richmond up in Richmond. Yeah. They look back. They know that we know. But until somebody can fucking stand up strong enough and can be a little loud enough from the trenches of social media.

But, yeah, we got a free trip to Italy. Absolutely. Now, here's where the accountability for myself has to come into play. Because there is accountability in all ends, right? You can't just watch film, be like, Coach made the bad call here, or made the wrong call. I was put in the bad position. The safety behind me gave the wrong call. There's accountability for everybody to be had.

Where my accountability lies is essentially a week in advance or days in advance. I need to figure out that we are established to be on these flights. That was a learning experience. Now, when they're like, hey, can you look back at your credit card and confirm? A lot of fucking transactions happen on my credit card. I did look back, and it didn't fully go through. It was on hold for, I don't know how long. And then ultimately, it just never went through.

Because I remember getting the little banner come down on my phone that we bought it because my wife and I, we smiled, we did a little YIPIA in the kitchen. We did it. We fucking booked it. We spent $10,000 to get this trip to go to Italy. And so I saw that banner come down. Now, when I looked back in my credit card statement, it didn't fully go through. So, yeah, that is a mishap on my part.

However, when it doesn't fucking go through, where's the communication that, hey, this didn't fucking happen? Because, again, we had our receipt number down to our seat assignment on our British Airlines flight to London. That was another thing. The same flights were still available from Nashville at JFK and JFK to London on British Airlines. However, the lady at American Airlines was on the phone with British Airlines, and she even told me ahead of time, she goes, even though that's available, they're not going to let you

book the day of. Because I was like, we can bite the bullet and pay for these fucking flights. And there were a couple options, which was like quadruple. And that was when I was like, we're going to get this figured out at some point. But right now, in the midst of chaos, when shit's in the fan, you need to make sure we're going to Italy. But you couldn't buy a day of flight on British Airlines. I don't know the reason. I have no clue. Because there were still seats available. It's like, we can get on these same exact flights. We just have to kind of buy a day of versus when we bought four months ago at a way cheaper price. So that's where, that is where I would say my accountability lies.

But there's no, there's no urgency. There's no play to take that and show any type of that weakness. When you are in the middle of war, when you are in the middle of negotiation with Expedia, you can't, see, you can't let that leak in the pipe happen. You got to stay strong to what, you got to stay in tentows down. That's what we did. That's what we did as a country. And again, for all the haters, get fucked.

Another L. Yeah, another L. Which leads me into my next segment, shittiest moment, presented by dude wipes. Are you still using toilet paper? Fucking stop. Drop the TP, pick up the dude wipes, the wet extra large flushable wipe

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Shittiest moment of the trip is going to also lead into my shoutout, no free shoutout. The shittiest moment on my trip, and it is without a fucking doubt, boys. It is getting on that flight from London to Nashville. The benefit, when we were on Capri,

we had to wake up 4 a.m. in the morning, local time, Capri. wake up, get a taxi down to the port, go from the port, get on a ferry, massive boat. Get on a ferry, which seemed a little dicey. There were some fellows on there. I was like, we could be in a situation at any moment. I'm not fucking lying. There are a few chicks.

They seem like hookers that they were traveling with these fucking security motherfuckers. They look like the cats from like Taken. Because big dude, big ball motherfucker, black beard, like, looked like you don't want to fuck with this dude. Andrew Tate? No, no, not Andrew Tate. Not entertained, but he comes out of the bathroom, and I'm kind of, it's kind of an open, there's a lot of seats. So fortunately, we had some space because we're, Rue's being awesome at this point.

We're traveling, smooth. We're worried about just making sure we get on our flights because we don't want to the same day before. We're like, hey, we're confirmed for tomorrow's flights, yada, yada. And this guy comes out of the bathroom and walks next to this gentleman trying to fall asleep, just does a massive clap next to him, kind of like, wake some of the guy looks. And as he's like walking by, he kind of looks back and chuckles. I'm thinking, we got a fucking bully. possibly a murderer on this flight.

They're sitting kind of away from the girls and kind of looking around and stuff like that, but it felt a little dicey. And so we take a ferry over to Naples, Napoli. Napoli? Napoli. Napoli. And when we go from Napoli, we get on the flight of Napoli, fly up to London,

and then London over to Nashville, which is a smooth, smooth transitions. We get to London. We eat at the London airport, beautiful airport, by the way. And Rue's being phenomenal at this point. This is the shittiest moment is traveling with your toddler. We get on the flight to come to Nashville. Rue decides that she wants to have the worst moment in her 16 months of life while

we're all seated around everybody. And I'm talking hyperventilation. I'm talking it was. we were in the shit. We were in the fucking trenches. You almost leave? That was one point where I looked back and I, if I had the option of taking the electric chair,

I would have taken the electric chair. It got so bad that there was one moment trying to like, Roo, you have to stop. Stop crying. Like, you have to calm down and breathe. Because we're, you know, we're weathering the storm. We're sitting there. We're fucking doing this.

I'm heading the fucking, I'm doing, we doing, hey, here's Tiger, Tiger. Oh, look at this. Look at the plane. Look out there. look at this, trying to get her calm, because she's just overtired. She hasn't taken a nap. We're trying to get her to sleep.

She wants to climb on stuff. She wants to, sweetheart, you can't do that right now. We have to put this red seatbelt on you. She didn't want to be confined. She's very independent, wants to move, wants to be out and about, doesn't want to be confined by the infant seatbelt. It even got to a point to where some older gentleman, you heard like, as she's crying, and you just hear, wham, where?

And, buddy, when I tell you that I, I, I, I, I want. wanted to come unglued. We stayed composed, and I kind of did one of those things where I kind of like sit up and I look around. I'm trying to make contact with anybody it could have been throughout the thing, just to let them know, hey, I know he's an old man. And you're about to get the young bull. The paws were about to be part on this old man.

Yeah, come for the belt. Shot at the title might have had to happen. Charles seemed to think that, hey, I think something is a little off with the old man. So, that we'll give him that reason. but I was ready to fucking drag this person because there's nothing worse. First of all, there's nothing worse than that happening. My anxiety already builds up because I don't like, hey, let's fucking,

we got to keep level heads. I know you're 16 months old, but we need to have some poise. You're not going to make it the second preseason game. You're going to have to turn your iPad quick if you keep this shit up. And the parents are in it, right? You know you have to say, whatever. Another lady, hey, we think she's this. and blah, blah, blah, blah.

And it's like, okay, fucking stay over there. We appreciate you for helping. We know ultimately you just want to help out as well. But you're just, you're in it. You're upset. You're tired yourself. But that was the shittiest moment brought by dudewives of the trip, which leads into my shoutout, no free shout out.

There is no better feeling. Go ahead. Okay. Okay. That, Rue, having the worst moment in her 16th, months of life had to happen when we haven't even taken off from the flight in London. We're still sitting on the runway. Bags took too long to get loaded, apparently.

We're an hour delayed. So we're sitting on an extra hour on top of that eight-hour flight. We're just having this moment, minute 20, probably spanned out over 25 minutes for dad, fucking F-O-T-Y, father of the year, gets her to sleep. Thank God. I'm talking not only get her to sleep, but she's so hot. sweating from all the hyperventilating and crying. I'm sweating. I'm leaking everywhere and I just have to sit and take it, boys.

And just smile. Guy next to me, Stevenson Ranch, rocking a Stevenson Ranch hat. Even more paramount that I say poise, but he looks over and smazzy. We have a seven-month-old. Just trust us. Like, you're not bothering us. I'm thinking, she's bothering you. She's bothering me.

And it's all right if she's not bothering you because I'm fucking, I'm in it right now. But leaves me into my next shout-out. Shoutout, which is brought to us by Paramount Plus. Guys, stick with us. There's a lot of ads on this episode. It is what it is. But this shoutout, no for shoutout, is coming to us from Paramount Plus. Can you feel it?

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That's headquarters, short for headquarters. Fantasy football today, NFL slime time, and much more. Stream Paramount Plus on any device at home or on the go. And follow the road to Las Vegas as Josh Allen, the boy, Joe Burrow, Aaron Rogers, the boy, Justin Herbert, Jalen Hertz, and all of the NFL's best try to take down. Patrick Mahomes, not the boy, and the defending champion, the Chiefs. Watch your local game live every Sunday starting at $2.50 a month for 12 months. Visit paramountplus.com slash NFL to start your free trial today.

The offer ends on September 20th. Annual plan only, terms and conditions apply. Stream the NFL on CBS Live on Paramount Plus, which leads me into my shout-out, no-free shout-out. There is no better feeling than once you arrive and touch down on U.S. soil, drive home, get home to a clean house, and get in your fucking sheets, boys. Baby goes down easy and smooth because she was overtired. Again, we battled a long time on that eight hour flight. And we had such a great vacation.

Like, Italy was incredible, incredible, breathtaking. All the spots we went to offered something different. And I'm sitting there wondering, why am I so fucking happy to be home? And I thought about the shittiest moment when we had to battle for those eight hours on that fucking flight home. We were so happy to get home. And when I laid down, because the beds were a little stiff in Italy. Just FYI, anybody in Italy over there listening right now that owns a hotel, beds are a little stiff. But the comfort of your own bed and crawling in them sheets and getting home and getting back from a long trip being gone a long time, we've been smiling ever since.

But that is my shot on. No Free Shotout is getting home after a long fucking vacation. Brought to you by Paramount Plus. Taste the Mountain. What else has happened, man? Barstool. Dave Portnoy fucking does it again. Savage. One of the, it's been said and talked about one of the Hall of Fame

business deals years ago, what is it, three years ago, Penn bought Barstool Sports for north of $500 million, half a billy, as they like to say.

And now, three years later, it seems like Penn got into a position to where we didn't make the right decision. as far as wanting to capitalize on the market share that we thought we could acquire

versus their competitors like Draft Kings and Fandul and all the others that are out there. So they wanted to make a pivot and get in bed with ESPN. So when you've acquired Barstool, now you've got to go back to where that conversation started, all rows lead back. It was always Dave Portnoy.

And Dave at this point now has the leverage to, okay, well, how do you want to do this? Now you sign a little non-compete for several months, and you get your company back. Oh, and you have to give 50% of the proceeds. If a sale happens again, Dave is probably never going to sell Barstle sports again. So Penn will probably never see that upside of that 50%. This is a massive win for all of them.

And a lot of people were like, I was seeing people say, oh, this is hilarious. Penn realized like Barstall sucks. They weren't the right partner, yada, yada, yada. like Barstle now has full control of their brand again. Like they have full control of the pirate ship. They've Porto owns 100% of that. And now there's new life.

And you can see it already. You can feel it. You can hear it. There is new life in all the Barstall offices. They're having all those meetings and everything else. You can see every personality now has new life injected into them because they're now in full control and back to what they were known as, which is Dave said it, content, content, content. They don't have to worry about when you're,

in that world of, what does he call, that regulated world of the corporate world, publicly sold companies, all that kind of stuff. It's more of a bottom line mentality. And when things aren't going well, they might be funny to you. Oh, that could be a good little schick. That could be this, that, the other. If it's not pouring into the bottom line, you have to cut them loose because you have to worry about the bottom line more than anything else because you have to appease the shareholders and the people, the powers above you that are there. Because again, it's a publicly traded company. and they're competing against all the big players in the industry, right? And the reason it's a win for Barsoo because they now have full control.

They are now operating the way they want to operate freely with no, like the Mincy. Mincy's back. Day one, sign Mincy back. The Pirateship is back to what it was known as their authenticity, their creativity, allow their creators to create, and it's all about fucking good content. Work your dick off and create good content, knowing that Dave is not going to sell, And Dave is kind of, you can kind of see the energy that Dave now has getting back into it. Leading with that iron fist, messing with everybody back at HQ.

The reason it's a win for, also another reason it's a win for Barstool, because I'm somebody who has some stock equity and stock options in Penn with my individual deal that I had when Buston extended their deal. The reason that that it's a big win is now that they're no longer in the public eye partnered with a company like Barstool, they're not partnered with a company like ESPN. ESPN's throwing a fuck load of money. I've been seeing that.

It's like, hey, this is seen as kind of a hell merry because ESPN's been a little late getting into the game. However, you go from, I want to say Barstool is around how many monthly viewers, what's their monthly audience, like 16 million? I could be butchering that, but let's just say it's one or two-tenths of what the ESPN audience is. and ESPN on the outside looking in Disney, all that other stuff,

they're buddyed up as more of like the good player, not the edgy, holy shit, they're in bed with bar stool. People hate them, they want to see them go down, so every hit piece will come out. No, they're in with a partner like ESPN. Now they have big players like McAfee and everybody else. Now with Penn position and partnered with ESPN, now you can see people who have are in the game with the stock and everything else

that hopefully knock on wood, we're all rooting for it to work. out. The partnership with Penn and ESPN, you want it to work because you want the stock price to go higher because then the money that everybody had in Penn that was with Barsool, that goes higher as well. So everybody that's like, oh, it's hilarious. Dave's failing. He lost so much money. The stock plummet, yada, yada, no. Now we get, we get to sit back and people get to Barsoe gets the root for the, for the billion dollar corporate entity because there's some skin in the game still there, right? So that is why it is ultimately a win for a place like Barstool, where it's a win for Penn is they are now partnered with,

they need to acquire more market share. The deal they had to sit back and look at it with Barstool, that wasn't a good enough move to acquire Barstool and lean on them fully to establish a higher market share when it comes to competing against the Drive Kings and the Fan duel. Now they have to partner with somebody that's a more credible, a more credible corporate entity like an ESPN to hopefully drive that. that market share up because now they're going to be hopefully in more homes.

You hope people like Pat McAfee and them get involved. They're pushing this ESPN bet the same sportsbook and operation in tech that Barstow's sportsbook was using. Now hopefully they pour into that tech with ESPN and they boost that to the moon. So that's why it seems like a win for everybody. And the win for ESPN, they don't get, there's no acquisition to be made. They're licensing their brand. So the spot that they're in, they go from buying a company to acquire market share.

now they're out of it. Now they've got to spend 3X, and instead of owning a company, now they're licensing it for 10 years, hoping that this move pays off and acquires them more market share. So there's a lot of moving parts, but ultimately it seems like the right move for everybody and a big win for everybody. The one you're rooting for and everything else is now pinned

because they're making these big pivots and trying to pour in, hey, let's fucking try and acquire a little bit more market share and utilize a company like ESPN because we feel like we might be capped out and tapped out with Barstool. So, did all that make sense? Yeah. The art of the deal.

The art of the deal. Dave bought that company back for one fucking dollar. And it was, like you said, win-win. One win was probably a little bit bigger than the other, but it's win-win. Yeah, it is a win-win. Like, at the end of day, you're going to see everybody talk about, you know, people like, oh, Dave's going to sell his stock. There's no reason to sell the stock.

It's still sitting at a spot where during COVID, it was up as high as 100 per share at one point. but it's not where one of, and if you sell now, there's a lot of tax, there's a lot of like taxing penalties that happen if you sell in the short term. So you want to root for them. Hey, go run off into the sunset with you. We get to do our thing what we are best at. We don't have to worry about it. We don't have to stress every night about what the bottom line looks like.

Dave has made so much money that he gets to sit back and run it however he wants to run it. And he empowers his creators to do so. And everybody that kind of run their thing and do their thing, which is what you want. Yes, it is a win-win, nonetheless. We've been slinging it, boys. What else do we have? Tear talk. What do we want our tear talk to be?

The tear talk, well, we'll wait. We'll take a pause right now. We'll take a little bit of a breather. And we'll be back. Tear talk, it could be like our best Italian dishes or best overall cuisines. I don't know if we'd want Taylor to be here for me. It's kind of tough on the best. Yeah.

Because Taylor thinks Italians overrated. I'll say this, just going back on the Italy trip, because I essentially just talked about the Expedia and the shitty travel back and the shoutout that led into that. Dude, Italy, we, again, we hit Florence, Rome, Sorrento, and some of the Amalfi Coast, and then Capri. Every spot in Italy has just something different to offer. Like, it was incredible.

You start off in Florence, and you just feel the vibe of, like, It's going to sound cheesy, but like love and passion. It's the fucking gay. It sounds a little gay. But you changed. The cuisine, just the walking in their streets and their buildings and like, I don't know, man. It was incredible. It was awesome.

You just felt like you weren't on the, the people over in Italy, especially in Florence, you're not on the hamster wheel of life. You're not on the grind of just, I'm sure people are over there. But I'm just the vibe walking around. everyone's so hospitable. Everyone is so nice. It was awesome. Then you go to Rome and do the history in Rome is insane. I found myself on chat, GPT, just getting lost and asking all questions about like how Rome fell because all the statues and you realize there's buildings that are standing there for 2,000 years. Why are they still standing there? Why is they etched in this concrete into statues and storytelling and everything else?

Why did it fall? What Roman emperors came through that ultimately led to the fall of ancient Rome? Why did, you know, how did it move forward and how did Catholicism become such a mainstay over there when Rome fell at the time? Because then we go over to the Vatican and you're touring that, all of those cathedrals

and everything else and seeing where the Pope was and all that shit. And it's just insane. And then you understand. And again, I was never a history guy growing up. I was like math and science. Like, because there was always, it was math and science are more objective.

than anything else. There's not a lot of subjectivity like history and fucking English, those classes in writing and reading. And so I never really cared for history. But I'm sitting there listening to everything. And again, with chat GPT, I know that sounds hilarious, but you're learning about Michelangelo being up there for five years, painting that Sistine Chapel. And it's just fucking insane. All of the history that's there. And how it has stood the test of time, why it stood the test of time, why stories have changed, and now you're going on tour, and why these people leaning towards are saying it this way and not a different way

and I'm wanting to learn about how the emperors because the victors write history. So it's like, I wonder how these powers came about. Then you're seeing the Coliseum and thousands of men died. Like at any given moment, 50 to 80,000 people stacked that place screaming for death and fucking bloodshed, loving it. And it's like the modern day gladiators

of the UFC that we have now and thinking about playing football, and just for entertainment and everything else. Like it was no different. However, it was fucking death. People died man versus man. They wanted to spice it up. Man versus animal.

Animal versus animal. They're bringing in fucking giraffes for men to fight because they're exotic and they weren't known. So it's like, oh, what the fuck are these beasts going to be like, only to get taken down by the sword? But all of these different games just to entertain the masses, it's insane. And now look at us. And now look at us.

Charles, can you get that sunscreen on my back? Yeah, yeah. That SPF50. You might get that fucking, uh, was it. It's called that, I forget what the sunscreen is called. But you're right. Can we get the AC? Like, with these fucking hotels in here.

We need a little bit more. We need, Italy needs to bang the AC a little bit more. I'll tell you that because it gets a little stuffy over there. They don't, you know, I want AC blasted in the car. I want AC blasted in my hotel room. But yeah, now look at us. Fitching over Expedia. Oh.

Put me in the arena. Soft, man. But it was fucking awesome. We watched Gladiator one night because you just get so motivated and inspired by it all. Then you go from Rome, which is exactly like, you know, just like the, I'm going to butcher all this, but just the stone and the red and like the vibe, the environment it feels. Then you're in Florence and there's more greenery and like I said, love, poetry, shit like that. Then you go down to Sorrento and just a gorgeous fucking place, like out of a, out of a Disney movie, insane.

Then you go over to Capri and you're getting a tour around the island and you just see, You know, you just see it all, like art. It's fucking weird. It does something weird, you that makes you want to look into it. It's like, you know, maybe I kind of do want to pick up the book sapiens. Maybe I kind of do want to read up on history now because you just get like, you just feel it over there. It's really cool, man. But Italy is awesome.

Is there a tier talk that we can now go off of? That will be, this tier talk will be brought to us by Whistlepig Whiskey. Boys, there's different kinds. We got the Rye, which is what they're known for out in the hills of Vermont, the mountains of Vermont. They're aged 10 year They're a small batch rye from Whistlepig I like their 12 year the best Their 10 is fucking phenomenal and very popular

They're most known for their six year That's the one that gets sold By the masses everywhere else And then they got a little spice They got a little spice in their nuts And they wanted to drop a bourbon Their bourbon They wanted to partner with bustin with the boys

That's why you see our little sticker We got to pick our bottle of bourbon While we're out there in Vermont So you can get You can get these Whistlepick bottles anywhere at your local retailers that sell Whistlepig. Summer Fridays are a thing of the past. It's time for the Friday, Ritey and Whistlepig whiskey.

Grab yourself a glass. Grab yourself a bottle of Whistlepig whiskey and kiss your workday goodbye this summer. Summer Ride Day brought to you by Whistlepig. We will now talk about our tier talk that's brought to us by Whistlepig. And our tier talk this week will be... It can be greatest warriors.

like, you know, Gladiator, Troy, Alexander the Great. I watched Troy. You did? I wanted to text you, but by the time I got done watching, I'm like, okay, he's probably in bed right now. Like, you're on a weird fucking schedule,

time clock when you're over there. But I watched Troy, hey, loved it. How sexy is that motherfucker Brad Pitt? Achilles! So sick. That was why your name won't be remembered. Yeah. A little kid.

When Enki Johnson told that story, I'm thinking he's talking to some fucking adult. He's talking to some little boy. Are you never scared? I saw this man. You won't be able to beat him. He's massive. That's why your name won't be remembered. We can do that.

We can do best smells. I'm not prepared for tear talk. Best amenities on a plane ride. We go for best smells. Best smells? Best smells. JP, do you want to kick us off with best smells? Tier talk.

Yeah, I can do this. You can do this, JP. Let's see. Tier three, I will go with fresh cut grass. Talk to them. Sing to them. You feel the hard work when you smell the fresh cut grass. And that's always a nice smell.

Tier two, Japanese food. And I love especially, especially when you can smell it when you're driving past the Japanese restaurant. You're like, oh, man, what was that? Or free samples, those smells from the Japanese places are really good. And tier one on the opposite spectrum would be a fart, a fart that really smells. And everybody, don't lie. Only if it's coming from, only if it's coming from you, though, not somebody else's

because when you Dutch oven yourself and the bed, we all do take that little. that small little sniff. Have to. And if it is ripping, you're like, you hate it, but you kind of love it. You're like, that was kind of, that was impressive. Like, God damn, this shit is right. But you don't share that with anybody. No.

But you do like, you, everybody smells it. Yeah. Those are my, uh, my best smells. Nice. I love that. Jack. Oh, am I going on one? You're three. Pussy.

J.P. putting something that comes out of your ass is the best smell out there. Go ahead. inch north. Tell them what the, tell them what the tier three, your tier three smell is. Tier three for me is fresh cooked bacon in the morning. Waking after that, this is a good breakfast plate, especially when it's unannounced and someone just kind of woke up early and is cooking breakfast, maybe for the squad. That's a great one. Tier two is going to be, uh, what, drier sheets in the laundry.

that the smell really like freshenes up that that load after it gets out of the dryer um love that smell number one no it is it's just it's not going to be ass i know that it is it is subway in the early 2000s ha ha yes dude you know what i'm talking like it doesn't know yeah but subway back in like 2007 or eight you walk in there i don't know what it was it's something in that bread. But yeah, something about subway in like the mid to late 2000s was a special time. So yeah, that's my number one. Mitch? My tier three, it's going to be walking into a diner, just that smell of all like the fresh baked goods, the fresh breakfast, the bacon, like what Jack said, and just breakfast food and the environment of the diner.

It's just, like, I'm ready to just pound some food. Hard. My tier two is what JP said, fresh cut grass. Just the, like, smelling that reminds me personally of fall and, like, a football. And it's just like, hey, we're back. Like, football is back. And there's, it's, you just can't beat that. Like, just with football in the air is that fresh cut grass in the air.

And my tier one is, uh, is gasoline. This is going to, going to like the gas, I'm not going to, like, the gas. I'm not going to smile. Hey, hey, I'm low key. You just took mine. It smells like gas. I'm not going to smell your hand right now. But I get it.

But like, when you're at, like, when you're at the gas station and like, you just. My tier one. It's definitely. It's definitely not good for you. Easy balls. But my tier one, yeah. Gasoline. I like that.

I fuck with that. For that reason, I guess I won't use it because gasoline was in mine as well. My tier three is going. And to be at fall weather, the autumn leaves, that crisp wind that hit your nostrils when you step out that front door. And you know, it could be Thursday, it could be Friday. You know, the weekend is upon us. You know, that college game you're going to go to is that much closer. That car, you're about to jump in for a little road trip to the college game.

That Sunday NFL game you're going to watch with the boys is that much closer. and the radio, you just, you fuck with it a lot more when it's falltime football season, like you said with your fresh cut grass. But that autumn wind, when Spooktober is here, and you just have those nice Friday morning vibes when you step out the front door. That, again, that crisp that hits the nostrils. My tier two is going to be that the body odor from the shoulder pads. When you walk in the locker room on that first day,

whether it's training camp or and you know it's here and you smell them pads and they fucking stink and you you crave it like am I going to put my shoulder pads on a day with no undershirt?

Am I going to give a little whiff to that to the little belt to connect to smell that odor a little bit more to know that sweat equity is getting put in that's my tier two the body odor of shoulder pads. My tier one is going to be cow manure. When you're driving out in the country, you're in the country,

and you crack them windows or you step out of the car, you step out of that car door and you get a whiff of that manure around, and you just know you are in God's country. You are in the authenticity of what American soil is about, and that is cow manure. That is my tier one, and that concludes my tier talk. My tier three is going to be gasoline. But you snap that up.

And then when you said football, like I know the fresh cut grass, which is true, but I want something a little different, a little spicy. All right, what else do we have? We have Chris DeStefanoe, the interview insane. I've been seeing people that have been craving the Chris DeStefano interview. He threw me for a loop, a little bit by surprise. I was caught off guard. He was right after Tom Segura. It's kind of like Shane.

You didn't really know a whole lot. I know the clips. I saw Chris DeSephano. He seemed like a very high vibe, high-energy cat. But the dude goes every different direction that gets you a little. Oh, shit. Yeah, okay, we'll talk about that. But you guys sit back and enjoy this one.

This one's a great time. But without further ado, here is Chris Comedian, Chris DeStefano. All right, we interrupt this episode to talk about our experience using Cars.com. Wherever life takes you next and whoever you're looking to be, there's a car for that on Cars.com, whether you're moving from the suburbs to the city, so you want that smaller, sportier car, or you've taken up snowboarding and need more of that cargo space for that gear. They have deal badges that identify the best deals at the right time. Their advanced search filters help you narrow down the car you're looking for,

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I know when I would sit, especially when I was looking for that next car, when I was looking for that Chevy, when I would car search back in the day, whether it was through my parents, like, hey, mom, dad, you got to buy me this new fucking sports car. No, you're getting this little beater. I would always use Cars.com. So shout out the boys at Cars.com. I am proud and happy that you're sponsoring, busing with the boys. Back to the episode. We were rolling. We were just talking about diapers, though. Yes. My wife wants to do a third. And like the number one thing keeping me away is having to go through it again. Yeah. It's the diapers. People for you forget. about the diapers. That's the hardest part of everything is the diapers and the carrying her. You know, it's like when you pack it up, it's like I'm packing up for like a mission,

like a Navy SEAL mission. And you're just going to the park. Yeah, every time I pack my kids have to go to the supermarket, I'm like, we're going to kill bin Laden again. That's what it is. If I see him, I'm going to kill him. And you're ready to fucking ready to go.

We're going in. Yeah, yeah. And so, but it is the most beautiful thing to have kids, especially girls. And by the way, everybody I know is having girls. there's not one person it's almost like if you have a boy

I'm like yeah but it's not it's a girl you know what I mean it's like that's it just has a big clip what's their choice is that what you're saying well that yes well yeah that yeah let's start having gender reveals on the 18th birthday 100% but I just think there's actually

something in the water or like maybe it's the vaccines I don't know what's going on the combination of the two something is causing for sure more females than males I think It's like a fact. I think it really, except in China.

China's the only place is having more boys. Yeah, and that's a tough deal. It seems like China's having a hard time right now. Yeah. Russia's having a hard time too. Russia's, yeah. Russia's having the hardest time. Could you imagine how stupid you must feel if you're Russia?

Like, for the longest time, we all were like, dude, Russia will kill us. Like, you do not want to fight Russia. And now we're like, dude, I'll fight Russia by myself. I feel like I can beat them by myself. I feel like American's Americans. Russians, Russians. Americans have been afraid of Russia since the 80s, or whenever the Cold War was.

And then Rocky. Up until Rocky 4 came out was what I was going to say. When Rocky 4 came out, we're like, we could handle the Russians. Yeah. Yeah, we can beat these motherfuckers up. No question, dude. That is a fucking, yeah, but it is a weird deal. Because three months ago, we're sitting there going,

hey, Russia, China, they think they're getting together. Saudi Arabia's jumping in the pool for some reason. Yeah. Then all of a sudden a coup rips off. And we're like, I think we're good now. I kind of feel like American pride of nationalism is coming back where it's like, because you used to feel like, Not necessarily me, but you would feel,

I'm just always been a prideful American, even like when my comedy friends were always like, the police suck. I'm like, I'll shoot you. Get off my property. So, you know, it's just like, just I was always the guy that was like, you're just stopping, stop fucking listening to everything the news says, please, and just be a regular human being

and understand that. Police, cops, fire him in the Army. Everyone's just doing the best they can besides a couple of bad eggs that we fucking have, even in our business. It's just always that's what it is. And every household, too. Everybody, it's like, just shut up

with the media of fear porn cherry picking bullshit. But I think more people are starting to see it now, right? But I always was like American pride, whatever. But then I noticed, like, for a while, there are no American flags. You never saw American flags that much. You saw it. I grew up, you know, 9-11. I was a senior in high school in New York.

You better have an American flag up and down the streets. Or we're like, what are you with them? What are you a terrorist? And now, and then it flipped for a while, whereas, like, if you had an American flag, people would be like, what are you, a terrorist? What are you? White supremacist? And it's like, no, I just, I live in America.

Because there was for a while, I've got to be honest. Like when I was walking down New York City in the West Village, this was like a month or two ago, I saw, and it's not there as much anymore. I saw, I walked down the block and all I saw was Ukrainian flags and rainbow flags. And I was like, am I in the gay part of Kiev? I mean, I thought I was in the United States. What's happening? And I like the Ukrainians.

I like gay people. I mean, I'm not saying I'm not gay. You know what I mean? I don't think I am. Everyone's on the spectrum. Everyone's on the spectrum. It's like, I support it because that's what the rainbow is. It's like a spectrum of colors.

I'm a human being. Like, you know, I might go the first 50 straight the last 50 gay. That's possible. I love, you know, but I do feel like now, like I'm talking about it very recent, like over the last six to eight weeks, I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's the Bud Light controversy. Maybe it's, but American pride, I feel for the first, I see like the first glimmer of it again in a while. And you can't put your finger on it. I can't put my finger on. Like this Fourth of July was, just, it was just good.

Like, yeah, like, I... Fireworks are brighter. Yeah, dude, we lit... I have neighbors who had a British guy come over. I lit them on fire, right? My yard. And everybody would...

They loved it to do it. It was fucking great, dude. And nobody cared, which is like, at other times, they would have been like, you can't do that. Respect his rights, but I fucking lit them on fire. And I was, suck it, Nigel. Yeah.

You motherfucker, dude. You piece of shit. It is wild, dude. I was in Florida during a 4th of July, and it seemed like, I don't know. Florida's its own unique place. I don't know. loss of patriotism there, but I did feel

a certain sense of like, hey, because I'm not big in jumping into politics, but I am big on wherever you're from, have pride in where you're from. Regardless, like, just grab a little something from where you're from, take it with you wherever you go. And I feel like with America, it's like, yeah, yeah, we've dated people. You've dated people you loved and you got your heartbroken. But there's things, even when you're in love, you're like,

this bugs the shit out of me about this person. Same thing with America. If you can be from America, not like all of the things about America. Sure. I don't like all the things about America, but I'm fucking happy to be in America. Yeah, it's like, The ones who like to shit on the country all day, every day, it's like it's a broken record. Just shut up.

Where are you going to go live? Do you want to go live? Where do you want to live in Canada? Everything's on fire. Do you want to live, you know, like, it's like I've heard, I've heard some of my, you know, in comedy, a lot of gay people. You know, a lot of gay people talk. I heard somebody say, this is the worst time to be gay in the world is right now in this country. I was like, do you know if you went to the Middle East state, throw you off a roof?

They would throw you off a roof and people would be clapping and celebrating It's like, what are you talking about? People are just so indoctrinated and sucked into the media But I think that it really is Like a lot of people don't They don't really

They're not as fooled anymore Even somebody like my mom Who is like just What anything the newscaster says She takes the truth She's starting to question now Which I think is good, right? I mean I think that's better

I mean none of this is comedy But I'm changing my profession is I am running along with RFK Jr. And I'm going to be, yeah, I'm shooting, we're going to be sucking the vaccines out of people. And hitting fucking, just reping in this sunlight. Yeah, reping, yeah, I'm going to have a magnet and start sucking vaccines out.

He's got a lot of stuff going on. Very political right now. Yeah. Ditching comedy. You have Jeffrey Dahmer's glasses on. By the way, this is the first five minutes of the podcast. You'll see by the, maybe the next 20 minutes, I'll be the opposite.

I'll play different characters for an hour. I'll just say I will absolutely, I'll start kneeling. Put the National Anthem on, I'll kneel. I just, you can't, that's my whole thing is you can't track me down. You can't, I'm fucking Chrissy Gray Zones. Chrissy Gray Zones. Yeah, I'm all over the place.

But Chris Grysons is also a very educated individual. Like you love yourself some history from what I've been following. Yes, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, love history. I love trying now to, I'll take like a different era. Like somebody came up to me the other day and they were like, oh, I've been listening to your podcast. You're talking so much about finance. I was like, yeah, that was three weeks ago. I've moved on to 10 other subjects,

that I've been obsessed with 10 other subjects, and said, I'm the guy, I read half of a book, and I'm like, I'm an expert, let me tell you about it. And then all the people are like, you fucking idiot. All you're doing is making mistakes. But I think it's that my grandfather gave me, like, good advice, right? You know, right before he killed himself in front of our family. But he said, but he did give you great advice,

and he said, if you're the smartest person in the room, it's time for you to find a new room. You always want to be dumb around the people you're hanging out with. You never want to be the... Because then you're not learning anything. So I always try to be the dumbest person in the room. But now I'm in... By being the smartest.

Right. Read half the book. I'm the smartest. Let it fly. Hey, dude, you're fucking way off. Okay, well, I'm in the right room. Faster than you shit is what you're saying. 100%.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I'm in and out. I'm always fucking listening, baby. I'm always listening to what this guy says. Yeah. I heard your Southern accent. Yeah. South Carolina boy, game cock.

Game cock. I love it, baby. Love the cock. There we go. That was a nice. You do dance around. You said that you might go 50 straight, 50 gay. Yes.

That's a nice little, I feel like a nice Daniel Tosh pull. I feel like he was one of the first comedians kind of, is he, is he not? What's he going through? I always enjoyed watching him tow the line. Dude, I love watching the envelopes. Yeah, it's always fun to tow the line. Yeah, absolutely. Whatever happened at Tosh?

He's, I think he just did so well, made so much money that he's, I think he's just like maybe writing new stuff. I think he's taking a break from everything. Yeah. I don't know. He's not on, I never see him anywhere, but I mean,

he might live in L.A. I think he's from Germany, right? He might, like, live in Germany. He might be, dude, the Germans are coming back. But I feel like he doesn't do anything. You know what I mean? Well, I think he's,

I think he's truly made like a hundred million dollars. Like, he's, he is not even quietly. Like, he, he has done so well in this, in the comedy business that I don't know. that he has to, I mean, I don't know his finances at all. He could be horrific with his money. I have no idea.

But he seems like he's made so much money that the thing he gets to a point where you're like, all right, man, I got to take like a couple of years mental break or something. You also need to find new material. You need to live new experiences because the thing I think with comedy is, is if you get too big, like music is different. Go get as big as you want. But with stand-ups, if you get too big and you lose sense, you lose touch with the common man, your comedy, you can't do.

like a crushing hour about your yacht you can't do it like the people in the front row of you're, what the fuck are you talking? Like you're supposed to be the common man like us. You're supposed to be mad at shit and kind of have an opinion about stuff. So I think maybe he's doing that like just kind of taking a step back to just ground them. I mean not that he was ever.

Getting back in the trenches. Might be. I think he might be. Again, he's not, he lives in LA I think so I'm always in New York. I'm one of those like New York guys. Like I don't. You could be like, hey dude, if you just moved to L.A. or Austin, you would you'd make $10 million more a year, I'd be like, I'm never I'd literally, I'd rather drive a bus

in New York. I don't want to leave New York at all. Because I think I'm just I don't have anything against L.A. or Austin. I'm happy they're beautiful American cities. They're not taken over by ISIS. But I think that I'm just a very New York guy. I like to

be around like my family, my friends from home. I like New York is always like there's like new things happening always. And every time I leave New York, I don't feel comfortable. I'm always like, I'd rather just, I like quick hits. I like to go somewhere for two, three days and then go and then leave and come back

to New York. I'm comfortable here. I'm comfy, wonfy here. I'm a little uncomfortable outside of it. But yeah, I don't know. And I also kind of don't feel like my whole, like being a comedian is like the fourth thing about me. You know, it's like

my comedy career is like, I'm not one of those guys that are like, and I get my peers that do that. I'll do every dig for comedy, I want to be the greatest of all time. I'm like, dude, knock yourself out. That's the last thing I'd want to be. Really? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? You know how much pressure that is? Also, nobody

fucking cares. Do you think Alexander... Imagine Alexander the Great came in here right now? You'd be like, look at this asshole in a Toga. Look at this dumb fuck. Nobody knows who this retard is. And he was Alexander the Great because truly nobody cares. Nothing really matters. And that's not pessimistic.

That's up coming from a happy person where I'm like, just take a... relax like who I have to what what is the greatest of all time in at least in comedy mean you know what that means in my opinion I'm never going to see my kids I'm never going to see them I'm going to all I'm going to do is look at them through memories I'm like I don't want to do that I'd rather be just the piece of shit comic that I am that's doing okay but I'm like at my kids stuff you know what I mean and then when they find out their father's game they don't want to talk to me I'll go on a World Tour of that?

When you say it's the fourth thing about you, what are the other three? What are the three things that are just the most interesting to you outside of? Well, first and foremost, I'm a white man. Don't forget that. Very important to you. Straight white male. Well, no, I think... Love America. I think, you know, number one, definitely father.

You know, like, that's the main thing about me that I care about the most. Like, I just... I don't really care, like, what people think of my comedy or what people think. you know what some executive thinks of my part i don't care at all i just care about like what my kids think of me um and then i think uh to being uh a partner to my girlfriend is is huge because we have the kids so i think like that is it is very very important to me um and then third son my you know my my my my very close to my parents so like got to be like a good son even though i you know go on stage talking about you know come leaking out of my asshole um it's you know and and you're

over the spectrum. Yeah, then the fourth thing is, is, listen, I love doing comedy. It gives me an outlet. It's great, you know, it's like cathartic for me to like, you know, I feel bad for people that don't have an outlet. Like, you'll see something on the news that really angers you or social media that, like, angers you and, like, you can't get it out where I can get it out with comedy and say how I feel in a joke format and it makes me feel better. But I think, you know, doing this for the money, comedy for the money is like that's when I think we all start to and I by the way I went through a phase last year I was like I'm definitely doing shows and meet and greets and stuff for the money and I couldn't figure out why I absolutely hated myself even though I was selling tickets making more money than I

ever made I was like but you like I would look in the mirror and be like you fucking suck and I couldn't figure it out and it was like oh because you started to do things for the money not for the creativity so now it's changed even though I know I'm wearing these glasses and you're like what are you talking about like you look like an asshole right now i actually like the glasses quite a bit i appreciate it it makes me uh i do it they're very geoffrey domer ask and i just yeah i want to i it's good i want to eat black men is that it's a inspiration for you jeffre dumber yes who's nittal thing yeah no i actually saw that what happened was as i did here's the thing with me okay here's what you have to know about me boys we interrupt this episode duke cannon the duke canon sent trophy game was created by the boys

for the boys. Support from Buss with the boys team and it's available now in thick body wash and the big ass brick of soap. The idea was hatched at the Bustin Bowl with the Duke Cannon team. We wanted to bring a scent to life that celebrates college football, the greatest rivalries that autumn morning

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slash trophy game. Brought to you by the boys. Busting with the fucking boys. Back to the episode. Can't wait. And my career, whenever, you know, like Midas, you know, like anything he touches, it's gold. Anything I touch, just know

that if you put me on your network and I feel bad for you guys with this podcast, when you get me on, things start to go bad for you. I don't know why this happens, but it just starts to involve. Oh, no. So, so I, I, I did in hours

it was 45 minutes that we put out for Netflix, okay? Put out for Netflix. Great, loving it. Show comes out immediately. Within 24 hours of my show coming out, Netflix announces they've had the worst quarter in the history of their business and the stocks have fallen so much

that they may have to shut down their business. Great. Then I do a show for Vice called Super Maximum Retro show, okay? Came out. The show comes out. It's actually doing pretty good.

I'm like, The Curse is over. Vice has now completely shut down as a network. It does not exist anymore. This happened in, like, a month ago. Vice completely, my show came out, and then Vice crumbled, absolutely crumbled to the, fucking, to the ground. You know, I had a pilot. I had a pilot show for CBS in 2016.

I thought it was going to make me like the next Ray Romano. Like, that's what I was being touted as. And everybody was saying, I'm talking about being from Queens and my new version of it, whatever, literally the day that the people who pick the shows, like the actual people who are in the room who pick the five pilots that are going to go to series that America is going to see on the day. Like May 14th, 2016, I'm talking about, not the day before, the actual day they're supposed to pick at 11 a.m. The day the guy our champion is going to pick dies of a heart attack. Right away, like, dead, hard attack, see you later, done, show never gets picked up. So I think, so the thing is with me is I've just accepted that, that there might be a level here that I'm never going to get past.

But right now, if you allowed me to like push a button and say you will never get another dollar, you will never get, your life won't change. You'll never get a dollar less. You'll never get a dollar more. You'll never travel less. You'll never travel more. Your life will be this for the next 30 years. I would push it immediately. So that tells me, well, then you must be happy then with your.

situation because I mean it wouldn't even be a thought it'd be like done in yes because it's also like to the point like when you get so famous it's like what's different about that it's just more fucking people you know wanting to bring you down every ladder you go up in this business it's 10 more people are trying to pull you back down it's like after a while you're like what is the point what is the point of this I just want to make enough money to invest it properly I want to try to convince enough people to invest their money with me so I can swindle it and then I just I I just want to, like, be a good dad and be there as much as I can and try for dear life to just white-knuckle, hold on to the current relationship on it.

Even though that's falling apart. When you're sitting there, when you're sitting there a year ago, and you're doing meet and greets and all this stuff for cash and all that, and you're like, you hate yourself. You can look in the mirror and be like, okay, this is why this is happening. What changes did you make for you to be sitting here today? All this energy in the world, but a happy person. Yeah, he was, you want to do it?

I'll do it. And so what happened was. is I couldn't articulate why I felt gross about the meat and greet. Because I knew that the people who paid were actually happy. They were like, I don't mind paying this money. But I couldn't articulate why. Why do I feel so bad about it? And I think it was two reasons.

One, I felt that I would do this for free for them. I genuinely so appreciative of the people that come to the show. It's like, I will stand out there and do it for free. I honestly, like you don't have to pay. And then I heard my favorite band is the 1975 and the lead singer Maddie Healy. I heard him say on social media about meet and greets. He was like, if you're an artist doing meet and greets,

he goes, here's what I want you to do. He goes, rather than going through Ticketmaster or your agent to get the ticket, you know, money from the fans, take the picture with them, talk to them for 30 seconds, and then ask them to give you $40 in cash and see how you feel. And I was like, I need it. meal. I was like, that's what I'm doing. And again, it's not a

thing if people are doing it and the fans who want to do it, great. Just me as a person, I was like, I can't do this. I feel like I'm giving you the, what you're paying for is the show, my jokes that I've written, like my performance, but after that, I don't want to take any more of your money. Even buying the merchandise, it's like, sometimes I feel, it's like, I don't, you almost like, you know, it's like, how much money do you fucking need, man? you know, like you're get to a point where you're like,

I'm on this hamster wheel where it's like, I mean, again, going on a world tour is great. It really is. But it's like, you know, it's just for me, time away from my family. Because time and money are the same value. Actually, time is more valuable to me now. Where I'm like, if you told me, hey, I could get this amount of money, but it's going to cost six months away from my family.

I'm like, there's no way. I'll just make less money. I'll literally, I swear to God, I'll go back to being a physical therapist. I just don't. The entertainment business, I think, has just, there's like a nastiness to it that I'm like I'm happy I'm in it I love doing what I do but there's a limit to like what I'll do and I'm not saying that limit isn't sucking cock to get on TV right I will blow past that's always that's always out there to be honest with you that's why I wear

these glasses in case you guys wanted to bucocki or something like that I'd be like I'm protected at least I won't get pink eye because my kid has a big summer presentation I have to be at before before we asked that question the 1975 the song girls I love girls that YouTube Yeah. That YouTube music video. Have you seen the music video? I don't think I've seen the music video. It's black and white and the lead singer's like, hey, we're a punk band.

We don't do pop stuff. They should be in black and white. And it's automatically in color. And it's basically a parody on like they're trying to be a punk band, but they're playing a whole bunch of different stuff. Oh, yes, I have seen that video. That go in it. And the lead singer, it's a model.

She's like 6-1. As soon as that music video came out, I was like, I have a massive crush on her. That's the pivot. Go ahead. We'll ask your question. If you're good, dude, if you're going to do it, do it the right way. I was good. You weren't looking at me.

Give me? Do it the right way. Kiss him, guys. Fights, do it the right way. Kiss him. Kiss him.

The fucking lips, dude. M-hm. Exact. Fucking guy. I'm leaving, but I wanted to come give you a kiss. Dude.

Unbelievable. You guys are done already? What's that? Oh, we body bagged you guys on accident. I'm so sorry. Thanks, I love you fights. Nice, bro.

Hey, fights, close over though. Yeah, you need chapsick. Do you want really? It's a little chappy. It's a little chappy. It's a little chappy. We had Seguera on right before you came

And we went like, what? Oh, today, Subur's here? Yeah, Sigur was here. Just walked in and out, ma'am. Tommy's, oh yeah. I think he's still here. He might be still here, but like... Yeah.

So, Seguera is the perfect example of a guy To model a career after, in my opinion. Tom, I know he just went on the tour and all that, but he did it. I think he brought his family to a lot of it. Tom is a guy. He's doing everything, exactly what he wants to do. He's making incredible money.

He's there for his family. He's there for his fans. He's doing everything. his way, that's the guy that I look up to and model. What about the guy you cried with on the podcast, Bert? Oh, Bert's another one. But I've actually heard Bert recently say that he feels he's doing too much now. So he's actually, which is understandable.

He's like, I think I'm doing too much. So he's got good intuition where he's like, let me scale it back, you know? By the way, what a clip. Like, what a moment. Oh, yeah. It's all fake. That's just your acting ability. All fabricated, dude.

We spoke about that. Yeah. That was that 2016 pilot coming out. you, dude. Oh, yeah. Getting ready to roll. Dude, I put that, I put that 2016 CBS. That's the thing, too, with people like, you know, I think if you just at times, I mean,

I'm scared of a lot of shit, but I think at times if you're just like, fuck, I'll ask for, you know, I'll ask for forgiveness later. You know, I'd rather, what do they say? I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission. They tell you to like your, like, a million times your lawyer will tell you, if your pilot doesn't get picked up, you cannot ever post us anywhere, you know, you cannot have to ever post your special anywhere other than on the platform blah blah I was just like during the pandemic I was like I'm just going to post my entire CBS pilot on my YouTube I'm just going to do it

and I don't fuck what then sue me I was like if you sue me I'll just talk about that on my podcast and make that a clip I'll just fucking monetize everything I'm a beast and so and so that's what I think our careers now have become with this podcasting is like whatever you do to me whether you cancel me or say this I'll just make it content I'll just so it's like this thing that it's like, it's kind of like it's always, like, look at Shane. Look at Shane Gillis. Like, he's got one of the biggest careers now ever, and it's like, it all started with people trying to take everything away from it.

It's like, you're like pulling back a rubber band to shoot it even higher. Yeah. But I think people are getting that now. Don't you feel like people are understanding that now? I feel like in a lot of ways, yeah. Yeah. And it also is like, you guys, be, like, comedy is the one thing that's, like, truly still, everything's on limits.

And I know people like, the letters and stuff like that. Everything is, like, you're allowed to go out everybody still. even though like I know a lot of people the LGBT community whatever the letters they get upset about stuff that comedies do like they try to cancel Chappelle when he came out with a special and the whole thing was about that but it's like

comedy is like the one beautiful spot that no matter what you do it's going to pivot back into comedy and they're going to be able to use whatever you say to get back right into that area which I believe is what you're saying yeah it's like I think a lot of the power is going back through like the content creator like the creator right because people are

figuring out that they can be authentic and there's still ways to pivot along with you being authentic because you're not like just on a TV show in the minute you get fired or canceled or whatever the case may be there are other ways to you know still recreate yourself or still create yourself yeah well that's why the stream is going yeah is going out the window right out the wind yeah well I think too it's important to that's why it's important to have a family whether it's kids or a husband wife partner or whatever I think it's important to be able to get outside your career in whatever it is, whether it's in entertainment or not, because you start to just realize, like, the petty bullshit,

like, especially like with social media, it's like, I haven't been on social media in, I think it's going on 10 months now, and it's, like, radically changed my life. Like, I still need someone to run it to sell tickets and be out there. It's just part of how we promote ourselves, but I don't see the comments at all, because I made a decision. I said, I'm not going to let a complete stranger influence me

positively or negatively anymore. I'm not going to take it. take them saying that they think my comedy is great, it's not going to get to me or that they think I suck. It's not going to, only if I'm in the physical space with you or you're out my shows, does then you're, do then I value your opinion. If I don't know you at all,

because I was like, man, I'm letting somebody who lives in London, you know, control my day. It's like, our brains are not designed for that. So I was like, I'm getting off it. And it's interesting, my, my Instagram, when this happened 10 months ago, wasn't, just could not sign in, right password, even when I got the reset.

It just, it was some kind of bug was in it. So we got in touch with, like, a pretty high up person at Instagram to help me out. And then I was speaking to him, and I was telling him what my plan was to get somebody else to run it. So I had that person on the phone, just give this guy the password, whatever. And he said to me, he goes, this is really smart what you're doing. He was really, really smart that you're getting off this. And I was like, really why? He was like, because he's like, we're doing internal research right now, that company meta.

He's like, we're doing internal research right now, and we're seeing that if you have more than 25,000 followers, that seems to be the cutoff. These people, the people that, the people with more than 25,000 followers, it has major impacts on their social identity, major impacts on their personalities. It is not good at all for human brains to be dealing with this many people commenting on every aspect of their life. We're like seeing it. And it's like, it's going to probably be things that radically change in the next few years. So it's good that you're getting out of this now. He was like, because it's not good. And we're seeing that in-house.

I was like, wow. And I tell you what, I feel it. Like, I used to get angry like at even like if I would come into a podcast and, you know, somebody I felt like was like disrespecting me or making fun of me. I would internalize it. And now I'm like, oh, dude, I don't, I don't care. I don't, I've gotten so much less. angry because I'm just like, man, people are going to say what they're going to say.

I don't really hear it that much. I only hear it from my family and close friends, good reviews and bad reviews. So if you give me even a bad review, it's just like it doesn't make that, I don't hear that all day. But when you're hearing bad reviews or good reviews all day, you're like in this manic state 24-7 that I'm just not in anymore. And I think it's good to not have everybody has access to you. That's like not good. It's just not good at all. because you're like, I keep my circle small, tight. I think that's perfect. That's why I downloaded threads yesterday.

Downloaded threads from Instagram. What's threads? Threads is now the Twitter of Instagram. Okay. Yeah. Dear Heavenly Father, we interrupt this episode to bring you Straight Talk. Are you paying too much for your wireless plan? If so, Straight Talk just introduced the new Straight Talk Multilat Plan

where more lines mean more savings for just $25 a month per month when you get four lines with unlimited data, talk, and text on all nationwide 5G. Plus, no contracts, no hidden fees, no bullshit, no compromises. That's just straight talk talking, boys, from Straight Talk Wireless, available at Walmart and Walmart.com. We love Walmart.com over here. We love Walmart over here. Been a very faithful shopper since 1989. Learn more at Straighttalk.com forward slash multi-line questionnaire mark.

UTM underscore Medium equals BAC and UTM underscore campaign equals AW and UTN. U-TM underscore content equals EVR-G-R-N and U-T-M- underscore term equals GNRC minus percent sign 25 EPID exclamation point underscore percent sign ECID exclamation point. Do you have cauliflower ear? You're like an in-betweener. Yeah, I got a little, I get a little tweeter cauliflower ear. But it's not so pronounced yet. So it's almost like, why is, why don't you have, if you're going to go cauliflower air, just go

fall. Well, fortunately, like, the cauliflower ear happened, like, when I was really young. So what happened? What happened? Wrestling. Ah. You know what I mean? Like, rolling around on the mats and some -professionally, not like with your dad or anything. As a kid, yeah, yeah, I guess so. Like, like, get out in the singlets in the circle, shake hands, red and green, wrestle a little bit. You look like it, like an almost Channing Tatum type thing, right? I will fucking take that. Very close. Very, very close. Very, very close. That's a nice little girl right there. You look like, I like it, man.

I appreciate that. But it's good. But yeah, but, dude, because you have a, you have a, like, an ear that I wouldn't fuck with, you know? I would look at your ear and say this, even though it's almost cauliflower ear, you don't want to fuck with this guy. Like, that's enough of a resume. That's enough to say, don't, I don't want to go there. I don't want to go there. It's good to know how that kind of respect.

You should have your ear coming out of your helmet when you were playing. That would have been a nice little deal. Will, he comes from Missouri. In Missouri, what they do is they wrestle. Show Me State. The Show Me State, brother. Yeah. And I've wrestled Will.

I, at one point, outweighed Will by over 100 pounds. And I wrestled Will on three separate occasions. And all three times, he bodybagged the fuck out of me. Oh, yeah, and you could tell. Yeah. You could tell he's got, he's a nice guy, but you could tell there's a darkness. There's something missing. Yeah.

You could tell. 100%. I don't know what it is. I don't know if we'll have. He's got more than 25,000 followers. Right. There's no question. It's one of those things.

You're saying that I'm on the wrong, I'm going down the wrong path. Like, I kind of almost think like what's going to unfortunately probably happen to both is you're are going to see the real him in the last five seconds of your life. Oh, no. It's a little going to be what we call a murder suey-wooey, wooey, wooey, right here on the pod. Suey-Woo. Yeah, and unfortunately, you're going to have to deal with it,

but it'll be great for the numbers. Yeah, yeah. But the numbers won't matter because I'll be dead. Yeah, but no, but... How do you monetize when you die? I'll put your numbers on your gravestones. There it is. That's all I need to hear.

Give it to the family. And you give it, you just give the money back to Dave Portnoy. Okay? That's what it is. He deserves it. He does deserve it. He's put a law to work in. Yeah.

Put a fucking law to work in, dude. now to account for like that balance you want to you want to have in your life so what i do now actually is i've taken my uh kind of a not an obsession but i've really tried to self-educate myself on finance i've really tried to say tiki barber an NFL guy i got to do a show with him a few years ago called the ultimate piece master uh that i got fired for um because i said it was like this of international competition. And like Tiki and I were the host of Team USA. But then like everybody had teams like team Britain,

team India, team China. And when you fell off the obstacle course on the Ultimate Beast Master into the water, you got like eliminated. And they called it the Beast Blood, right? It's just whatever. And so we were doing the show like, you know, forever like a week.

And then the producer in my ear was like, hey Chris, like when this next competitor goes up, like just give us like an alt name for Beastblood. like, all right. So it was a Chinese competitor. And he went up and I was like, I don't have anything. And then as soon as he fell, his name was Bin Feng. As soon as he fell, I was like, as he was falling, I was like, oh, shit, I got it. I got it. And I said, I swear to God, I had like a moment. I was like, if I say this, I'm probably going to lose my job. But like, I have to say this. And he hits it. And then they're like waiting. And I go, I went, there goes bin Fang into the duck sauce.

and and and and and and and and and and Tiki dude was fucking dying laughing. I get called to the boots fired. During the show? See ya. And then it was like the last day anyway. And I mean, dude, Tiki and I still like, I just saw him a couple weeks ago. Like every time he sees me, he's like, I cannot, I still cannot believe you did that. But he was like, it was one of the best moments in my life to just call my wife.

I'm like, you never can believe what this kid, Chris just did. And so, but anyway, so we became like close friends. And he talked to me about investing. He talked to me about how he has a company for NFL players, especially the rookies and stuff coming in that don't know anything really about finance, but they're getting this money. They invest money with him because they trust him, and he's educated himself so much on finance that you invest with him through his firm,

and he helps you this way you're not going to get your money stolen by your family or bad investment, so he, like, guides you. So that kind of got me to start thinking like, man, I got to know, what's going on with my money. I can't just give it to somebody and give them one percent because you think of financial wealth advisors like, oh, they're only taking one percent. It's not that much money. It's like over the course of 20 to 30 years, like they're taking hundreds of thousands of dollars that you could have invested yourself and then with compound interest. That could turn out to be millions and millions of dollars that you just gave away. So that's the thing that I try to

plan ahead now is kind of managing my own money and every dollar I make on the road or through podcasting is like, you know, what dollar has to go to the cost of running my household and my family and making sure they are well taken care of and then investing for the future. So I don't want to be that guy that's, you know, 55 years old. Like I have to go, you know, to go do some comedy club in the middle of the country. If it's there if I wanted to, but I don't want to be the guy that has to do that. But I'm aware that if I'm going to be the guy who's going to get to that mega money through comedy, that's going to take a lot of time away from my family.

So I'm trying to find the balance of make money here at home or being on the road as little as possible and then taking that money and making it work for me in other ways. So, yeah. So if you guys want to invest your money with me. I don't know. You started to get nervous. Give me your money and I'll invest it because I'm educated. That kind of scares me.

Well, no, no. It's not, yeah, but that's coming from Chris. Like, you know, he's just kind of napkin saying all this stuff. Yeah, yeah. Once he brought up rookies and programs, like, I'm sure he's got. Oh, yeah, no, I think it's all through the NFL. I think it's all through the NFL. And I might be even kind of missing part.

about it. It might not just be hit. Like he was just the first, I remember he was the first guy we were walking, because he was a great guy. And we were walking, and he saw like this open plot of land in like, I think we're in like Valencia, California. And he like called somebody. And he like gave him like the like coordinates, like latitude, longitude coordinates of this play. I was like, what the fuck? Are you like going to drop a nuke? And he goes, no, dude, this, this land can be a parking lot. This is just unserved land. I want to buy this land and put a parking lot there. I was like, whoa. You think that like that. Like that. He was like, absolutely.

He was like, he told me, he was like, the thing is, is like, most people, and again, I haven't put this into practice yet, you know, I'm living in a one bedroom. But so far, you've read half the book. Yeah, yeah. But most people, he's like, it's easy to, not, it's, the money is there for the taking. It's just you don't even, you don't know. Like, he was like, you see a plot of land. You think, oh, it's just land. He goes, but I see, how can this land make me money?

So it's smart. And he's made, for sure, more money now than he did during his playing career. I bet. Yeah. And he's a great guy. When you talk about the social media and getting off social media, and then everything you're doing is in the public eye, do you ever struggle with that at all?

Is this the right avenue for me? No, but the podcasting and everything and the comedy. Here's the thing. Sorry. Sorry. You're safe. Yeah, okay. Whoa, oh my God.

Now I have cauliflower dick. And he, so it's interesting because I feel like with podcasting, right, is in a way when we first started doing it, right? Everybody was doing it kind of on the heels of everybody saw how successful Joe Rogan gone at it and kind of

it was just the only way for a lot of us to kind of have any way to get our message out because we weren't getting on the TV shows we weren't really getting in the movies and so a lot of, you know, the comics, you know, obviously the ones that exploded the Theo Vons and the Joey Cocoa Diaz is

and all those guys, you know, it was kind of like we were watching watching them in New York, be like, this is the path. Like, they're going to let us talk, you know, uncensored to our fans. We're going to get a fan base, a niche fan base, and that's what we'll get tickets. And that happened for a lot of us. And it still continued to happen, which is good. But it feels like it's shifting now because now the big, big, big comics that I mean are exploding.

Like, you know, Matt Rife or Jessica Kiereson, they don't have podcasts. They have just clips on the internet. It went from long-form content to short-form content. That's what the consumer wants now. So I have been questioning, as times been going on, like, should I make my podcast a little shorter? Should I be talking all the time about everything always? Because it's like, if you look, I like the Stoics.

I like Stoic, stoicism and like guys like Marcus Aurelius and Epictias. I like them because it's like, it's not that I don't like the modern day thinkers, like the great guys like the Gary V's and Tony Robbins, they're amazing. But it's that the Stoics wisdom has been around for 2,000 plus years. So it's like battle-tested wisdom. That's why I like, I always go to like what's been around longer. And so they are always saying like, you know, like this guy, Cano, who he was like the stoic-stoic. He was like the Dave Attel, the comics comic, where everybody, like, love this guy.

He was like, you know, you have one mouth, two ears. You know, just, you know, you have two ears to listen, one mouth to talk. So talk less. Listen more. Just talk less. And he said, you know, always be aware if you're subjected to the third thing. And the third thing, like the first thing is you do something. The second thing is it helps someone.

the third thing is needing to get admiration for it. That's where the ego comes in. That's what's going to lead you down a bad path. And I'm like, sometimes I'm like, all I'm doing is talking and wanting admiration for it. It's like I am falling into the third thing and just talking too much. And I don't know that it's like that on point. But lately I've been like, what am I do? I think I'm, because with podcasting, a lot of times we're talking and we're having these half thought out thoughts

and we're just spraying them out. And that's what gets people in trouble later on. Because you're like, I didn't even stand up is. different. It's like whatever I say on stage, I've thought about that. I've tried to perfect that as much as I could. And it is edited and in my brain at least, and I'm like, I have thought this out. We're a podcast

that's like, people will send me clips sometimes of what I said on a podcast four years ago and I'm like, I don't ever remember saying Hitler had some good ideas. I don't remember that at all. But I clear evidence that I said it because I'm literally

in a Nazi uniform screaming at hailing. So, and I don't, but I don't remember it at all. And so there's things that I get weary of with podcasting. And I think we all know it's very oversaturated now, but that's okay. I mean, everything gets oversaturated. And I think, you know, sometimes people will be like if they come up to different comics and they're like, oh, I saw you on TikTok. Like some of my peers will get upset at that.

And I used to get upset at that. But it's like, that's just the new medium people are finding. Like I heard, like Jackie Gleason used to get mad if you recognized him from his TV show because he got big on the radio. And it used to be the radio is everything. And if you're on TV, you're a hack. And then it went from, well, TV's going away and you need a podcast. And if you're on TV, you're a hack, it's about the podcast. And now it's starting to become, well, everybody's on TikTok.

And it's like, what are you just another guy with a podcast? So it's constantly evolving, I'm realizing. So it's like, always about trying to get to that next thing, which I genuinely have no idea how to get to or what that is. that's a yeah that's the that's the fear that's the fear when you're trying to stay in front of everybody's eyes is like what is next how do I stand on top of just like the threads thing you were talking about yeah threads is like what that was I thought it was a I thought it was a new short I thought it was a competition of bird dogs yeah I thought it was shorts right but we're really driving here today what's it wills yeah he literally it's away from it

it starts to ride that crease it starts to ride yeah yeah I love it but threads I didn't even know about literally we were driving here and they're talking about threads and I was like what the fuck is what is threads yeah I'm like thinking of my head I don't know but like things just come out of nowhere like this have you seen this grimace shake thing look at this look at this you've been you've been rolling it a million miles an hour it's unful it's unful believable what's going on right yeah and people are like you should get they'll send me messages oh you can get injections Botox injections you can get this joint that's this is natural dude this is natural leak anatomy and I don't care because you know what I'm sweating out the vaccine

there you got the vaccine no no no no no yes yes I did you're in New York, you 100% got it. You had to get it, dude. You had fucking no choice. But I got it out of me. Quick. Yeah, dude. I fucking got it right out.

As soon as I got it, man, I just started jerking off. I was jerking off in the Walgreens to just fucking get it out. Get it out of there. What do you read and listen to? Stoicism. Okay. Clearly. So the last two books I've read.

First one is called The Simple Path to Wealth by J.L. Collins. That's a great book about finance and stuff like that. Very puts everything in layman's terms. Then I read every morning. I read a page of this book called The Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday. You know Ryan Holiday and The Daily Dad. So if you guys don't know, that's a little email subscription. Love it.

I'm subscribed to that. And I read a page from The Daily Dad every day. And now I'm reading Atomic Habits by James Clear. And I'm also rereading 1776 by David McCullough, just because, you know, Fourth of July. I was like, I just want to be reminded that literally... You're a patriot. I mean, we are the greatest...

We are the greatest 350 million humans the world has ever seen. Every single one of them. 100%. Yeah, dude. Literally, an American in a wheelchair is better than the best fighter that Russia or Ukraine has ever had. Just because he's got red white... You're talking, I'm literally like flexing my packs.

100%, dude. I'm ready to fucking... Apps are fucking luteley. Hell yes. My wife's from Canada. She just doesn't get it. Yeah. She doesn't fucking understand.

She doesn't understand at all. I was trying to tell her about the 4th of July. And the reason why fireworks are going off. Yeah. And the reason why we celebrate all of this. Exactly. Just telling you, just say thank you. Yeah.

For everything we've done for you. Yeah. We're back to back. Yeah. You're welcome. And she's just sitting there fucking rubbing maple syrup all over her. No question. No, thanks.

We're wearing all denim. Yeah. No thanks, dude. No thanks, dude. I got fucking hot dogs coming out of every hole in my body. No question, dude. Speaking of hot dogs, Joey Chestnut. The best.

What an American hero. No gag reflex. No, he doesn't. just rolls. That guy just the thing I like to think about Joey Chesson is because you, I would like to see I really would like to, because we all know what he could do there, I need to see the toilet

bowl 20 minutes later. I think that's the documentary. What does this guy's shit look like? Because how can you possibly consume 65 hot dogs in whatever it is 10 minutes and then not shit blood? How is it possible? You know who's fucking up?

The toilet paper brands. You need to be stocking him up. Yeah, Sharman needs to be a main sponsor. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, they, because it does, that makes a lot of sense. And I think the guy before, the Kobayashi guy was ripped. Dude, ripped because I think he used to eat, like, a lot of roughage.

And kind of, he was, he would talk about, like, eating lettuce and stuff that was, like, an actual, like, ab workout. Like, if you don't have to go to the gym, just eat a bunch of lettuce. I don't think that plays. Dude, I don't tell you. He looked great. I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Every time I see a guy with abs, I'm like, that guy eats mad lettuce.

Mad lettuce. that's it yeah that that guy fell by the wayside now Kobayashi yeah he's that fucking Joey Chestnut crushed him I saw Joey Chestnut once in Buffalo and I was like oh Joey Chestnut and he acted too cool I was like

relax you eat hot dogs yeah that's gotta be tough just relax guy yeah I was around I was around him one time as well I forget it was in Florida and he does have kind of that vibe like yeah which hey you're the best to ever do it best to ever do it

no doubt but still dude I hate that shit like why don't you you know what I mean just let's just relax you can see it you can see it on his face like as he's going back out to rally the people to have that yeah you know put the show back on the show will go on i hate that but he did somebody in they act like that he's still well he's one of the goats so he is we don't know what it's like to be him you're right you know i guess i guess that's one way to put it's right he's one of the goats he's one of the goats of like the food industry like i think he's got to be the goat yeah he's the goat of that like i think i think you think of the three goats i think you think of

the three goats. I think you think of Joey Chesda. You think of Gordon Ramsey. You think of Jared Fogel. That's what I think of that guy Ferry. No, but I think Jared Foll, I think you think, you know, he's the goat for subway sandwiches, you know, not for the other stuff. Yeah. I mean, although, you know, if we're just talking about pure numbers, he might be the go to that, too. I don't know.

What about Papa John? Poppa John. Yes. Papa John's one of those guys who, um, I actually never minded Papa John's pizza. I never minded it, um, at all. It was sometimes so good that, you know, I remember eating

especially the pizzerias in Brooklyn because the pizzeries in Brooklyn that's why I think I like Papa Johns because the pizzeries in Brooklyn I mean those guys are all saying the N word so I was like I was like oh this is just what pizza makers do so I didn't understand what the country There's some weird reason this feels like home Yeah I was like I thought I thought this is what these guys do

I thought oh okay because Vinnie from 3rd Avenue says that every oh every time I get a sun tan That's what calls me Papa John's was a spot where you went for the specialty pizzas. Oh, 100%. Now, in Missouri, that's like a gourmet, right? Like, Papa John's little, like in Missouri, Missouri, is it Papa John's Little Caesar's pizza? Where are you taking, like, your mom out for a 50th birthday?

Where's a nice place? Like, Mom, I'm treating you. Olive Garden. Olive Garden, that's where you're going to go. Yeah, Olive Garden's like a five-star establishment in Missouri. Yeah, dude. The breadsticks are legit. Yeah, when you'd have, like, prom or any type of formal dances in high school,

like you're trying to get up to the city, 45-minute drive and take them to Olive Garden. Right, right. Because where's the city? St. Louis? St. Louis was a closest city. Right. There's nothing going on in St. Louis.

You know, we got the Cardinals. Yeah, we got the Cardinals. We got the Arch. The Arch. The Arch is there. The Arch is there. The Arch is there. Bush Stadium.

There you go. Yeah. They got a couple things going on out there. Nelly. We had Nellie for a good name. Oh, yeah. I actually like St. Louis. I'm going to be there in, I think, October.

The pageant theater I'm going to be at. And I remember when I went to St. the Cardinals game, tell me if I'm wrong, but this is just the observation I made. When I went to the Cardinals game, it was weird, because it was like almost 100% of the fans watching the game were white, and 100% of the workers

were black. Is that true? I don't know. I think we'd have... Can you zoom in on his face, please? I want to see if he's lying. He just started, like, sweating. Can you zoom in? I don't know if that's... Yeah, his pits are like this? Can you follow it up, Jay, Pee? Yeah.

No. I know. I think Bush Stadium is one of those stadiums. I think I heard that they designed it where every seat is like angled toward home plate. So it's one of the best spectator parks. Dude, it's one of those. Yeah. Cardinals baseball is one of the best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I will say when I worked for the, I worked for MLB. I did a show called Off the Bat there. It was on MTV 2 in like 2014.

I mean, nobody watches thing. And, and, again, kiss the death. And, and, and, and, um. This might be your big break is bust with the boys. Dude, I hope so. And then, and then, so I remember we did. the show and every team was cool except the Cardinals and the Yankees. Like they thought like who the fuck they were didn't want to work with anybody

and I was kind of want to be like guy like nobody cares about really either one. Like just shut. The Cardinals are great and the Yankees are great but at the end of the day fans of sports, I'm a sports fan but like the fans that like live and die with their teams and players

I'm like so I'll sometimes talk about like sports on stage and somebody like if I talk about like the Mets or the Yankees. Somebody's like, boo, I'm a Phillies fan. It's like, do you realize that you as a diehard Phillies fan? If you got within one foot of Bryce Harper, he would hit you with the Louisville slugger across your fucking head and you would look like Stephen Hawking for the rest of your life. So stop praising athlete, like don't make it your whole identity of fucking sports team. You know what I mean? You guys were NFL athletes. I fucking, it's great. I'm like, wow, that's awesome.

but it's like at the end of the day it's like I just felt like the carnals and the Yankees like they thought they were like gods I was like I'll you know dude I'll fucking I'll give you all Tommy John right now I'll give you all I'll just start I'll cut open start slashing elbows I'll literally

pull out your ulnar collateral ligament right now and I'll fucking eat it like Joey chestnut All right bear with me I know we're interrupting the episode again for light box jewelry this is a reason why we have to interrupt this episode the gift that's changing the game. Level up your gift giving with lightbox lab grown diamonds. You can buy set jewelry from lightbox jewelry.com or you can buy a loose lab grown diamond ready for your giftee to set how

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express shipping ready to take to a jewelry. Ready to take. Ready to take. to a jewel. Take 10% off when you shop now at lightbox jewelry.com using the code, the boys pod 10. That's T-H-E-B-O-Y-S-P-O-S-P-O-D-1-0, and you get 10% off. Lightbox Jewelry.com. Back to the episode. We were doing a draft, a fans draft with the Chicago. Were you? You wasn't on that, but they were going on and on about Yankees fans and Cardinals fans. Like, Yankees fans are just unbearing because you got the Northeast people, you know. Yeah, it's just like annoying. It's over the top. But also then, like, they talked about the Midwest, like, with St. Louis Cardinal fans, and it's like the fans in baseball think they're so much better than everybody.

Yeah. Dude, I'm telling you, that movie of Bronx Tale with Chas Pomerty. That's like, every child should just watch that because it's like, it's so much knowledge in that movie. Nobody cares. You know, when it talks about Mickey Mantle, when the kids, like, obsessed to Mickey Mantle, he's like, Mickey Mantle doesn't care about you. It's like, it's so, it's so beyond true that I like the athletes. I like to see more athletes just leaning into that.

It's being like, what the fuck about you guys. Yeah, being like. Like, I don't, you know, like, I'd rather be having sex with my sidepiece than going to visit this cancer hospital for the kids. I really would love to get a blowjob before the game. But I have to talk to this kid who's going to die next week whether I hit a home run or not. It's like, just give up. You know? He might.

So it's like, I like more real people where they're like, yeah, I forgot somebody was real about something. An athlete last year, I won't remember. But somebody said something that was, it was like fucking hilarious. Like, I forgot. Probably Marcia Lynch or somebody. Like, that's just like, yeah, dude, it's, it's, it's, uh, I mean, do you guys feel like as athletes like, you know, you have to like, be like Godlike to the kids?

I think that points, point in time. Yeah, you had to like, but if kids are way different than the, you know, 45-year-old adults that are wearing a jersey, it's a way different vibe. Yeah, the kids are looking up to you. That's true. Truly thinking of you as a God. Good point. You want to give them the time.

Be like, bro, listen. Children. If a child, I think that's a good point. Games and stuff like that in a reality. sports arenas, that should be for, I think going to sports games and jujitsu is for kids. I don't want to see you as an adult doing jujitsu. Either you did it and you learned it. I don't need to see you 45 years old fucking just getting into jujitsu because Anthony Bourdain did.

He also killed himself, rightfully so. So it's just like, just stop with jujitsu as an adult and stop going to games and making it your fucking life. It's like that's, I think, yeah, it should be kid stuff. I like a child in a Jersey. Good call. Good call on that. Yeah. But adults, yeah, there is something weird about a four.

45 real guy that's like he wants a base, he wants another man's name on his back for his birthday. We have a thing. If you wear our names in the back of your jersey, we get to fuck you. But we have free...

I'm all about the jerseys. Yeah. I don't mind it. I just don't know I have that option if it all comes up. That's the availability. Here's where I think fans put their identity in teams

is as human beings, cavemen, we want to be a partisan thing. You feel safer that way. If you're part of a village or a community, you feel safer and you have an identity

in that and you're able to grow and flourish much more. Right. And so we haven't evolved enough. We, at the end of it, go to college, you want to be a part of a fraternity because you want, you want a sense of community. You get out of college, you're in a city, let me join this fan base and be a part of it, and then you raise your kids, and that is the community aspect.

Yeah, yeah, in a way, absolutely. But here's the thing, though, here's the catch. And my father knew this. I dated a girl once 10 years ago. I really liked her, right? Great. I was like, just got to bring her home to meet my pops. immediately I could see my pops

does not like this girl and I'm like oh my god you know I don't know what it is because she's Chinese I have no idea and I'm like and I'm like I'm like so what is going on so when she leaves I'm like how great you know was she I was like it seems like you didn't like her he goes yeah you're damn right I don't like her I said why

he goes you can't trust this broad I said what he goes she's a Yankees fan I said yeah exactly we're all Yankees fans that's why I thought you'd love her She goes, she's from Boston. Why the fuck is she a Yankees fan? And I was like, wow. He was like, you're never going to trust anybody.

Like, if they go against her own town and they pick the rival team, fuck that person forever. And I was like, holy shit. And dude, she turned out to be a bitch. No shit. She turns out to be a fucking bitch. And she was actually a deceitful person. And my dad knew it.

My dad called that just on that thing. He was like, I do. She was trying to empathize with him about, oh, I'm a Yankees fan too. And then he was like, oh, really? He goes, where'd you grow up? And she's like, oh, I grew up in Boston. And then immediately he was like, right then in there.

He was like this fucking, this. Because he's like, you don't learn that lesson unless you have the fandom from your father. Because he doesn't care. If you're a Red Sox fan, even though that's not the team he likes. He's like, if you're from Boston, go for it. I'll get along with you. Because at least it's one town, you know, your town, your team. I get it.

So he never understood the people that were fans of other teams. If you're from that city, he's like, listen, you know, like it's, he would always say, like, you know, like geography is, it's your destiny. If you were born there, that's where you were fucking born. Unfortunately, you got to like that team. Even if they're a last place team, that's just how it is. And I'm like, all right. Man.

That's how he's old-school guys are like that. That's a big line to draw on the sand, though. Just because you're born there, you have to be a fan of that team. He's like that. That's old school mentality. That is the northeast. Dude, my dad, ready for this? My dad's 75 years old.

The first time he crossed left New York State lines was three years ago. Right before the pandemic. He never left, he never crossed one toe. outside New York state lines. He doesn't care. By the way, he didn't care. His wife just made him do it. He just didn't care at all.

He was like, I couldn't care less if I ever leave the state. Which is interesting. You know, I was like, don't you want to like see Italy? He's like, I'll see it on YouTube. I was like, nice. Dude, the pride in people in New York is insane. It is insane. It's a wild fucking deal.

Because we were driving here. I'm just looking at all these buildings. Like, how do people fucking live here? and you're telling me about your dad who would never fucking leave here. Never. You're saying you never fucking leave here. Well, that's the thing. It's like, you know, like I almost envy people who aren't born and raised in New York

because you guys had experience. You left your state. You had a motivation to want to get out of your city, get out of your state, go to another college, see stuff where in New York, it always felt like everyone was coming to us. So you get this mindset. You're like, why am I, why do I want to leave here? Like none of my friends. Out of like my, I have like a big 30-person friend group.

None of them, not one left New York to go to college. Zero people. dorms. Everybody went to school locally, which is like you go to other places, like, that's unheard of. Everybody's going to schools all over. Everybody's getting out. But growing up here, it's weird. It's like you just, like, I don't know if it's changed now, but back when I was in college, high school college, it was like, people stay local all the time because I think we're like, we got the best clubs here, we got the food. And it is a little bit silly. I mean, you got to get out of it and to appreciate it more. But that's, it's like a mindset. Like most people that grew up in

my neighborhood, they've been in that same 10-block radius their whole life. Which is good and bad, you know? Yeah. Of all the places you traveled, if you couldn't live in the Northeast, because I feel like an easy cop out here would be like a Boston or something like that. Where would you live? Where would you want to live? Because I'm sure

you travel a lot for comedy. You've seen probably most of the states at this point. Yeah, I think I've seen, I've been to almost all of them. Now, I would say where would I want to live? If I could, you're saying I could take my family. You're allowed to take your family, brother. You have made it very Trust me.

I could take these Puerto Ricans. I'm not going to have to pay a Puerto Rican tax anywhere. No. And if I want to go to like some real Southern state where you have to pay a tax if your kid is from an island. You're free and clear. I'm free and clear of that tax of the Puerto Rican tax, the PRT. I would move to Charleston, South Carolina.

Really? Is that where you're from? I'm from Greenville, South Carolina. Nice. That city, I love that city. That city felt like, that city felt like to me what I would imagine like a, like a, like a colonial, like how it felt in its colonial days. Like it kind of got that, I just felt like that city,

I love the history, I'm a big history, so boom, it was small enough but yet big enough where I feel like I wouldn't be able to consume it all in a week. And there's probably new things happening all the time. It's an up-and-coming city. You can go to different places that are just 20 miles outside of it that are structurally different and, you know, politically different. So it's all different schemes.

And I just, and I thought the weather that I know it gets, hot as fuck but i thought that like the weather at least when i was there in the wintertime was like beautiful perfect um i i i i think i'd go to charleston yeah and i love the food i love the food there and i love the people the vibe of the people there were really really good people were real was really like a a good vibe um that's because you grew up here right because you don't like them where you're from not not that you don't like northeast people it's just like it's just a different person like it's a to b fuck, it doesn't matter what's going on in your way. People just, there's no, it's not a very hospitable.

Right. Every region you grow up in, you're told that the other regions are like X, Y, and C. I grew up in Arizona. Right. Like, hey, man, Northeast, they're all mean up there. And then you, I live in Michigan, like, hey, down south. They're all racist. Right.

You know, it's a whole, it's a whole, like, different deal. Right. And then you go, I've been up north. I've lived down south. I've lived in the west. And it's like, everyone's kind of the same. It's just how they approach their delivery of how to say things. You can't generalize anybody who, like,

generalizes a group of people, I think is a fucking idiot. It's like it is so like case by case basis. It's, it's been proven time and time again. It's like you can't generalize groups. The tribalism thing is real. That happens in every animal in the animal kingdom. It's like you want to be with like minded people. You want to be with people that if it's if it's that they look like you, if it's the same religion as you, the same team, whatever. But I think that yeah, man, like you can't just like when I was in, I probably like Charleston because of these, the people that I met. in those specific days I was there, right? So that's why I'm like a tattoo

so it works for me. But, you know, I just went to Italy or Sicily and I went to Taramina, Sicily, and I had a great time there. It was awesome, amazing. And it was the first time ever that I went to a place and I actually fell in love with the people. I would hear people say that old,

oh, you fall in love with the people. And I would just be like, what? That meant nothing to me. I never felt that. But then with these people, I felt it because they're like in more ancient culture, way more ancient than, you know, American culture. So I was at the hotel and I asked the guy that I'd gotten to know there for the few days I was there.

It was like an old, like, why is Italian guy? I was like, what do you think? Like, what's something you notice about people here? He was like, here's the thing, the number one thing that I noticed. From all these years, I'm working at this hotel. He was like a baggage hop guy. And he was like, the people that have the most luggage have the worst time. Always, exclusively.

If you have a lot of luggage, you will inevitably have a bad time. because you're totally consumed with yourself and your things, and you don't realize that you're coming to a place, to leave those things behind. You're coming for a new experience. He goes, and it's always Americans, mostly. It's always people from America and Canada. Usually they come with so much stuff, and they never have a good time.

He's like where I see people from the Philippines, or it's like I see people from the Middle East, they come here. They have just like a book bag. They're having a great time. They're like, no complaints. They never yell at the staff. They never want more, they never demand of us anything. I was like, wow.

So pack light. Live heavy. That's right, baby. Bud light. Twisted tea. Yeah, I like Twisted Tea. You like Twisted Tea. Y'all, is this Twisted Tea?

Shot it out. Tee. Yeah, T, T. Love Twisted Tee, dude. Chris, I have to leave at four. Do I really? Fuck, two minutes. Oh, I don't.

I mean, whatever, dude. Go to as long as you. That's your, that's probably, you know, before you even came on the podcast. Like, hey, let's make sure. Yeah, you never know. You never know. I'm probably sitting in the car being like, I don't know who these guys are. No, of course, I know.

What do you think I jerk off to? Perfect. I love it. A tough. Dude, Jeffrey Starr, how great was that? It was amazing. Yeah. It was a very unique experience for me.

Nice. How's the cock? Bigger than I expected with that slender body. I was thinking a little less. No, dude, when you see a slender guy, you know that, though. You know that. Let me tell you something. I can point them out now.

Let me ask you. Do you live in a locker room long enough? You know the type. We interrupt this moment. bring you twisted tea. Our twisted question is brought to you by Twisted tea. The smoothest hard iced tea out there, out in the game, perfect

for pool parties, perfect on any occasion. Keep it twisted with twisted tea. This drink, fellas, iced tea on steroids, iced tea on alcohol. It goes down smooth. It'll sneak you up by the end of the day, but it is the most refreshing drink to have. When we opened, helped open the bar

the bar still bar and shot that thing off. Having twisted tea there, I'm telling you, it is the best drink for the best occasion. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Here's the twisted question. Well, who, I don't know if you've spoken about this on the show, but who, that you haven't seen, okay, so it can't be known.

Who do you think has the biggest dick in the NFL right now? It just off looks alone. A couple fucking jump out of me right now. I know. You've seen a lot. Right. Because you've seen them also, the one you might know for sure, but like who is it?

Fuck. Just the biggest, fattest, uncircumcised cock in the NFL. That'd be Rodriguez. No fucking shot Are you in Tampa right now? Yeah, but I haven't seen it. He's asking what we've seen. No, no, I'm saying what you haven't seen.

I'm saying about what you think. What you think, because I've seen them all. Fuck. That's a good question. Yeah. It's got to be a DB. You think? Or a wide receiver.

Yeah, dude, the big boys, all that meat on the tummy pulls it away. DeAndre Hopkins might have something. That's what I was thinking about. Hopkins was in my head. He has five, he was, 5x gloves. Slender guy. He got the shoulders forward walk.

You got the shoulder forward walk. That's what I thought. Short forward walk. Big hands. Slender body. Known for sex parties? No. Is he?

It's rumored. It's been rumored to me. You know what too? As I might be cheating a little bit because Ben Jones did tell me that it's a fucking monster. Well, that's good though that I got to say because I didn't know that. And I was thinking it. So that has to be,

he has to have a huge dick. Got to. That thing's got to be. Yeah. Mass. When you got, and you might have talked about this before, but this is when you guys like was it a call that you got like saying like hey i'm going to the

NFL like what what was that like was it like a moment that you'll never forget or was it like just a moment that came and went oh it's a it's a moment you never forget like never forget like you started crying no that for me when you talk about like uh ryan hall day the ego is the enemy and stuff like that like when you're in college or at least then you're so wrapped up and when am i getting picked and stuff like that i was i was the 11th overall pick in 2014 right and And there were two tackles taken before me. Look at you now. And I was fucking mad.

I was livid. Because people were taken before you? Taken before me. Because you thought you deserved to be number one? I thought I deserved to be the first or second tackle taking off the board. Who was the first pick in your draft? The first pick of my draft was Jadavian Clowney. Okay.

Second pick was Greg Robinson. No. Greg Robinson. Then Clil Mack. Greg Robinson was a left tackle yet? Greg Robinson was a left tackle. It feels like this draft they were picking in Dick's eyes. They went down.

Clownie's number one. and you're the 11th. Yeah. Well, no, brother. I would have been undrafted free agent. I'd have been fielding calls hoping to get a tryout. That's what happened for me. So you were in, that's very interesting.

Yeah, but it's also... And forgive me if you guys have spoken about this, I'm nauseam, but I just think that's fascinating, right? To think, because you're such an elite athlete if you're the 11th pick in the draft, but you still found a way to be upset, as all human minds do.

But that is like, I think that is such a, play such a big factor in sports, is you have to have, like, some sort of like reason to keep a chip on your shoulder, a reason to be like, what's next? You're never in the moment. You're always consuming about what's next and how I'm going to get there and I'll railroad whoever I got to do

to get to the point where I feel like I finally succeeded and everything. Interesting, yeah. I heard Joe Rogan say once in his pond because I forget to do that, like you have to create a vendetta with someone sometimes, even though it's not real. Keep it in your head. Don't tell them about it. Yeah.

Keep it, but you have motivation. Yeah. It is one of those deals, at least for me. I'm sure a lot of guys have different paths because you can't generalize everybody. But for me, that was definitely what kept me motivated is. If I were to have success in a season individually, the minute that success was announced,

I would be solely focused on making sure it wasn't a fluke. And people think this is a one-time thing. And you literally tell yourself whatever you have to tell yourself to make sure that it happens again. Right. And it's a brutal way to live your life. But when you get cut, like for a lot of guys, it's way different.

For me, the writing was on the wall. I had two ACLs in three years. So for me, it's like you have two ACLs in three years in the contract I was supposed to get to the next year. It's like obviously this is going to happen. And then have this to fall back on and be like, there's a level of safety. And knowing like, okay, like I know there's a way to financially figure out what I want and have fulfillment. So we're like, all right, this is, I'm going to be okay, which I think a lot of, a lot of players don't get. A lot of players try to start the next thing before they're even done.

And the ability, we started this in 2018. Did you meet on the field? We play each other in college. You went to Nebraska, went to Michigan. But we didn't meet. Like, we didn't know each other. No, we didn't know. I was a white boy.

A white boy with the last name, Compton. I was like, holy fuck, this guy's a problem, probably. How little did I know. And then you, what were you drafted? I was undrafted. So that's, for you then, you just got a call out of nowhere. Like, you're getting to the biggest. Yeah, there's like hopes of being drafted in the later rounds.

And when it didn't happen, it kind of just happens quickly after the draft. Like, hey, you know, there's a few teams in the mix. And then the agent calls and like, hey, you're signing with Washington. So then the next week you go out to Washington for, rookie minicamp and everything else. And then my first year, I spent on the practice squad and then was active at the very last game of the season in week one, which was my, like, moment of, like, call my dad being like, yo, this is fucking, I'm doing it.

Like, I'm getting called up. And that must have been a sick call for your dad. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Oh, Bill loved that. Yeah, Bill was so fired up. That's awesome. Are you a big football fan? Like, do you know who London Fletcher is?

Yeah, sure. Yeah. He's a... I like, I like, the first team for you is the Redskins. You have the voice of like the guy that invented the name. That was funny as fuck. I'm impressed. Yeah.

In the second year, I made the team and everything else, and I kind of like a slower climb and all that, but a lot of my like chip and everything else came with like front office fans. Like you just wanting to prove everybody wrong. Sure. Like I belonged in the league. Right. And each year was trying to attain like a new level.

And how many years were you at? Nine. Wow. Ten, arguably. but also have to cut it? No, don't cut it, clip it. Oh, okay. What's up?

Yeah. You know, you all had the argument. You played 10 years. Taylor says you played maybe 7. 8 is what I did, but we don't have to go back down if I think we've done a lot of work since then. We'll play 10 years in the NFL. Everything except for stepping on the field for the 10th year. Having a like a, having the series back and forth, 9, I was about to play my 10th year.

We had a game, or I had a gambling show going on. And so the NFL didn't allow me to. get back in when I was about to sign with Atlanta last year. Those bastards. Yeah. A bunch of fucking cunts, but you're done. You don't want to even go back to the NFL. You would. Interesting. It depends.

Nice. For the right price. Dude, you should just, you should start a football league in Saudi Arabia. That's what I would do. That's what the money is. That's what the fucking money is. I tried telling the rock, like I tried making a video and telling the rock, I'd come to the XFL if he came on the podcast, but he didn't want to pick you up on that. Now it comes out, they've lost millions and millions of dollars. There you go.

So they probably should have made that move. You know, it's one thing, you know why I pick you over the rock? You got cauliflower ear? He doesn't. Exactly. Fuck. I go with a guy with cauliflower ear, dude. Got you.

Need to. Fucking day, dude. I'll nibble your vegan ears all day. But yeah, so that's that story. But it's really like an amazing thing to be NFL players. Like, it's such a small percentage of human beings that would ever do that. It's, like, fascinating. Like, you're like, just think about the amount of people that ever lived.

and how hard it is to be a professional athlete in America. And you both of you guys did that. That, like, has to be... But it's amazing how your brains will convince you, like Kevin Hart's brain will convince him, that your guys aren't shit. And that, like, you'll look at... We're like, well, I'm not Tom Brady.

Like Kevin Hart, I'll look at, you know, somebody would be like, I don't have as many specials as George Carlin or Richard Pryor. Isn't it fascinating? But I think that's a defense mechanism, too. Our brains are, like, survive, survive, keep pushing, motivate. Imposter syndrome. Yeah, all that shit. Yeah, man, you guys, unfortunately, it didn't work out long term.

You're now doing a podcast with me. But on the years that it did work out, it's fucking fascinating. And that's pretty, that's really, really cool. All good things have to come to an end at some point. Yeah. Well, you could have went into broadcasting or something. No, that's overrated, dude. Is it really?

Yeah. You only get big money. You get told what the, you know, you got to. Can't say this. I have to say that. You can't talk about jokes and stuff. Yeah, I want to talk about my ass warts. And I can't do that on Monday night football.

Can't do that. Not one bit. Yeah. Exactly. But you're giving all these compliments to us, the same thing goes for you. How many people on this earth have gotten a laugh from somebody else?

Who could do a professional? I mean, a lot more people than have gotten in the NFL. I mean, way more people. It's so much easier to get a laugh than get into the NFL. I mean, you guys are fucking done crazy shit. How many comedians would you say make six figures a year? 398. No.

No, how many comedians make six figures a year? I would say six figures now with podcasting and being able to monetize on YouTube, I would say we're probably at if let's say we had 100,000 people doing comedy, right? Which is probably less than that, but just easy. I would say at least 20,000 of them are making six figures. And then I think, you know, 20,000? You think it's too high? I don't know, it depends.

Let's talk strictly comedy. Selling out shows, touring, doing specials. selling out shows, touring, doing specials, seems like a lot of people, but it's actually really, well, now anybody can put out a special on YouTube, but let's just say... But selling making six figures.

Let's say selling out shows, you know, comedy clubs, and or theaters, that's the actual barometer, because it's like whether you get on TV or have a special is irrelevant. If you are selling the tickets or not, is what matters and is the barometer kind of for us. It's like our professionals.

Like, if you can sell out a theater, of a thousand seats or more, it's like you're doing very, very well. So how many things are doing that? So that, that, that I think in every, in any given year, honestly, truly, because it feels like a lot,

but I think truly, maybe like a hundred in the whole. That was the number that was in my head. In the whole country. It's got to be a couple hundred. Because, I mean, you have the Kevin Harts and those of the world, I mean, those guys are in the stratosphere,

but really, there's only like, for comedians, there's only like, not only, there are about 10 arena acts, right? You think there's so many, but it's like 10. It's like Kevin Hart, Sebastian Manuscalco, Nate Bargotsie now from Nashville's getting up there, you know, like there's not that many that are Bert Kreisher, Tom Seguera, Big Axe. But then it's like after that, it's like, you know, Andrew Schultz. But it's like already it's like there's not that many more.

So I think there's only like a hundred that could like sell out because you think that people are bigger than they are. You think like, oh, so-and-so's got a movie or got a big TV show, won an Emmy or is on SNL. And then you go, you'll talk to the club or theater manager. like, oh, so-and-so was here last week, they didn't sell dick. They sold, like, 30% of the room out. And so I don't know what the reasons are why that happens. There's many, many different variables. But I think that selling tickets is always what my goal was.

I was like, I just got to sell tickets. That's what gives comedians to longevity. It's like ticket sales. Because the TV show can go away, the podcast can go away. But if the fans are going to come every time you come to their city, you're golden, dude. That's all you've got to fucking worry about is live performing. And that also is the separator, right? Like, anybody can put a YouTube special out.

Anybody can have a TikTok. Anybody can do that. And anybody can get big doing that. But when they come to see you and you can kill live, that's the thing. And then when they come back, the biggest test is the second year. What is your new material? What is your new hour? And if you can, you know, kill again, then you start to become like, okay, now I got this shit.

Anybody can, you know, everybody, we could all write a 10 killer minutes right here. And then you can just keep doing that and throw that on TikTok and get 20 million followers. and then sell out a fucking theater tour, but you can do that once. It's about the guys you can do it again and again and again. That's like the difference maker. Right. When you start a comedy, how inviting was that culture?

Was it tough or was it? No, not inviting at all. No. Not at all, especially in New York. No way, dude. They didn't, uh, that you have to, the difference is when you start in New York City, okay, you have to go to the open mic scene,

like you have to do in any city. The difference is, the key difference is when you go to the open mic scene, uh, in other cities, it's paid, it's audience members. It's like people who don't know who are just going out for a show and they're like, oh, this is new joke night or this is open mic night.

So it's a difference. When you go in New York, it's other comics who are in the crowd. So those other comics, the last thing I want you to do is succeed because they're like, you're my competition, fuck you. They're also never listening to you

because we're worried about writing our own jokes and get, we're on stage next. And their minds are so dark that when you get a laugh, you have to question, is this actually funny? Or did I just say something that is so,

disgusting that it made these psychopaths laugh. So, and, and also the best of the best for comedies, you know, at least when I started, it was, now it's Nashville and Chicago and L.A., all huge scenes, but New York was the big scene. It's like you have to cut through so many motherfuckers to get, even on stage, that it's like the ones that can make it through there, like you've almost made it like nationally then, because it's like, it's a lot easier to get out of, even great cities, Boston. They have great comics there, but it's easier to get through that scene because it's just so much smaller. Where in New York, you have to get through like, you might have to get through like 5,000 guys to get on stage. Like, it's just a lot of guys. And I know, you know, I know we all fucking,

we're not bat and I at 5,000 guys. That's a Friday night for us. But when it's comedy, it's just, it's just, it's hard to make it out of here. But that's also another reason why I don't want to leave because I think there is something subconscious where I'm like, that's all. You know, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I think that it's not. It's not. It's not. It's not as prevalent as it was when he sang the song, but I still think there is something about New York where it's like the top people in every field are, at least some of them are here, always.

And so there's a very, you know, it's the hardest path, you know, the most resistance is definitely here. Yeah, I know we had Nate on the first time. He talked about that, just the grind of being in New York. Dude, look back at old pictures of Nate Bargazzi when he was grinding here. He looked like a lesbian.

He literally looked like a full lesbian woman. That's what New York does. He's faded up. Dude, I was saying he went from literally looking like a full lesbian woman to like he's like one of the most handsome men to ever do comedy out because he just, he fucking, he fucking, he, he, he took a toll on him physically. I mean, he looked like an Amish lesbian. Like he had bangs. It was bizarre what Nate looked. And then he came out and now is one of the biggest comics in the world and is one of the most, look at all the salt pepper.

He was a gorgeous guy. Well, yeah, because now he's living in a state like Tennessee. Exactly. He's making his way over there and getting out of New York. He's basically transitioning. But he did it right. Nate wouldn't be Nate. I don't think unless he came through the grit and grind in New York.

He had to. You know? New York's really different like that. When you were coming up, who were you like basing your game off of it? Bill Cosby. Nice. Yeah. Which game?

Yes. We're talking offstage? On stage? No. Oh, no. Who was I basing my game? Bill Burr, Louis C.K. Bill Burr and Louis C.K.

When I first started, I was like, everybody was like these guys. Because Dave Chappelle was already massive star. Right. And so I think the guys were a little bit older than me, like Dave Chappelle. But obviously, Dave Chappelle, legend, Chris Rock, legend.

Because you can't just say two white men. You better balance that shit out ethnically. Quickly. So, yeah, Ali Wong. Everybody's legends, okay? And so they really are. Amazing comics. But for me, it was Bill Burr and Louis C.K.

When I watched those guys, I was like, holy shit. I remember watching Bill Burr when I was 21 years old and it's Comedy Central or HBO Half Hour Special being like, this guy is like, I have to try to to follow do what this guy's doing.

Because I remember at a house party and he was fucking killing. I mean, we were watching and we were like dying laughing. I was like, I got to get on this path. And then it took me like five years to work up the courage to start comedy, but then I did it. And now I'm nowhere near, Bill Barr.

Bill Burr is a legend. I asked Seguer this, but like, was it ever difficult for when you first started comedy, not sniping people's shit, like taking some of their jokes or making their jokes and twisting it to make it your personality and moving forward? I think that, so what happened was in the beginning with comedy,

and I think most do this, or at least I did, I don't know most, but I did this, is you unintentionally, or at least I unintentionally, emulated somebody's energy. Like I, because I didn't know what to do and I would just see somebody, even though I'm not taking their jokes, it's like maybe a mannerism they would do

or a technique they would have because you just like don't know and you're like emulating someone who's doing really well and it's almost subconscious and then it took one guy to tell me very, I was still in open mic, he was like hey man you're doing, you're not taking my jokes but you're kind of acting out my mannerisms

and you're kind of stealing the essence which is worse and I never knew that and then once he told me that I was like oh shit I didn't even realize that but I think what I do now is that's why from that day again, I was two months into comedy. But from that day, I was like, I'm going to tell as personal of stories as possible.

Like, even, I'd rather be more personal and less funny because I'm like, I know that if it actually happens to me or actually, you know, if I take something that happened and I'm creating it in my head, how I wanted the details to go, I know that I didn't take that. I didn't steal that from anyone. I'm not emulating anyone. That is my style and my comment. That's why I talk about my family so much. But I think that, you know, that is.

actually with comedy, you can even be a hack. You can be a hack and do corny generic jokes like Asians are bad drivers or jokes about airplane food. You can do that. It's up to you. If the audience wants to laugh, they'll laugh, whatever. If you steal a joke, though, that is like being branded a pedophile. That is the only crime in comedy.

That is the only thing. Everything else is good to go. Whether you think it's funny or not as subjective, it doesn't matter if so-and-so is funny and you don't think they're funny. and you'll say, well, how are they selling so many tickets? Like, well, their fans think they're funny. This is a subjective art form. Yours football is more objective.

It's like whoever scores the most points wins. That's what the game is. This is subjective art form where it's like it's up to the fan. But if you're stealing material, that's the only thing that all of us will be like, you're out of our community forever and you'll never come back in and you'll never be, even if you do get back in, you will never be trusted in the same way. It's the only cardinal sin is stealing material. It's literally comedy's pedophilia.

you feel like has that type of image in the comedy community that the outside world might not know? Like who stole jokes and who stole those who allegedly stole jokes? Like you if I say hey who's got that vibe out there you have three names just came to mind. Like like

you know I think the most famous one and I think actually this guy has done a really good job of cleaning up his image and he does fucking annihilate on stage so you can't take and with absolutely his own material now but Carlos Manccia. It's a good insurance policy. was the first. Well, it's true, though.

Yeah. And it's interesting. You know, it's, it's, time is very interesting, right? To me, or like, when you, when you think somebody, it's like I heard somebody say once, like sometimes you're behind, sometimes you're ahead, but in the end, the game is long, and it's only with yourself. Because it's true, because at that time, I think of whatever, it was 2008, 2009, when Carlos Mencilla got accused of stealing by Joe Rogan, I believe Ari Shafir was in that video, was like a famous video, and it kind of, like, derailed Mancia's career for a bit.

The comedy store in Los Angeles sided with Carlos Mensia and banned Joe Rogan from the club because Joe Rogan was, he was a famous comic to us, Fear Factor, News Radio, great specialists, but nobody knew Joe Rogan collectively, as they know him now. They sided with him, with Carlos Mancia, and they banned Rogan. And Rogan moved to Colorado and then started Joe Rogan experience

and became who he is now. So you would think, and that wasn't that long ago. It was 12, 13 years ago, but it was like, wow, the comedy community out large was valuing Carlos Mencius. see ya over Rogan and now it's all changed so much and I think everything's patched up and all good now but it was always interesting to me how it was like it just depends on like what time you're in the game like what year are we talking about what month it's like different things are happening

to different people at different times but um he's the only one uh I think that unfortunately if you talk to comics he's like the synonymous name with the stealing which I don't know is that fair anymore because he's done such a he was always a comic that crushed that I don't think anybody would deny that absolutely crush for two hours. So it's like, that's very, very, extremely talented. But, you know, if you rip just a few jokes, that's the thing. It's like, it's not a small, you think it's just a small crime, but it's a huge, like, you can't do that.

You can't, because it's, it's like the only thing that we have, you know? Now, there is one other school of thought where it's like, like the Stoics would say, who cares if they steal the jokes? That's not about that. You did the joke. You did the good thing. You're now, you getting upset that he or she stole your joke is you being obsessed with the third thing needing all the credit

and that's your ego let it go. There's that school of thought but most comics don't think like that but I do because I'm just a great person What the fuck? Why? They texted me at 3.50 and said he can go till 4.20. Where we are now? 21.

Fucking piece of shit. That's sorry, this has been fucking awesome. It's been awesome. You got to... You better... Does your wife talk more than you? Or does your girlfriend talk more than you? No, she doesn't speak English.

All right, that's what I think. That's how you like it. That's a man, marry an immigrant. That's what it is. That's what I did is, what I did is I married her. She's from Mexico and then I put up a wall emotionally. That's the way to do it. Yeah, this has been awesome.

What a deal. Thank you very much for coming out. Thank you. It's awesome. Dude, big hugs, tiny kisses. Hey, guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe.

I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We get to ask other people to do podcasts.

We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know. Tired and sick. Tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. on Humor Me with Robert Smygel and Friends, me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman

help make you funnier. This week, my guest, S&L's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel, help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to Humor Me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Winning on Clay is an art. The rallies are relentless. and at the French Open, only the toughest survive. I'd know. I competed there for decades. Join me, Renee Stubbs, on the Renee Stubbs tennis podcast for no-nonsense breakdowns of the biggest matches, the toughest players, and the moments that define Roland Garris.

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