Bussin' With The Boys - Ernest
Episode Date: October 8, 2019Thank you: www.regalrg.com Anheuser Busch Ajax Turner Nashville singer/song writer, Ernest, stops by this week to Bus with the Boys. Ernest,Taylor and Will talk about some funny stories, Ernest...'s music career, and we learn about Will getting his teeth fixed.Check out Ernest's New album "Locals Only" here! Check out our sponsors:Regal Realty Group - Hunter BrileyPersonal 615-630-9735615-483-0856www.regalrg.comAnheuser BuschAjax Turner Rate us 5 stars because you're for the boys. Website: bussinwtb.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BussinWTB Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bussinwtb/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BussinWTB/ Merch: https://hangtn.com/collections/bussin-with-the-boysFor more, visit barstool.link/bussinwtbSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey guys, it's us
The Jonas Brothers.
I'm Joe.
I'm Kevin.
And I'm Nick.
And guess what?
We created our own podcast called,
Hey Jonas.
We invented a podcast?
Well, we didn't invent it.
We just contributed to it.
We're the first people to do podcasts.
We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.
Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it.
But, you know, tired and sick.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Just listen.
We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from.
some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite.
Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends.
Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman
help make you funnier.
This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,
help an a cappella band with their between songs banter.
Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter.
Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the I-Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
What's up, fam, it's Isaiah Thomas.
And I'm C.J. Toledano.
It's our favorite time of the year on our podcast, Point Game, the playoffs.
We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season.
And I'm looking back on some of my greatest playoff moments.
If we didn't talk ever again, I was crying.
You just understood.
That's how personal it got.
Wow.
Then after that game seven, Marquis come in to you, he's like, you know I love you, dog.
You know, it's all love.
This was just playoffs.
This was just basketball.
So listen to Point Game on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your
podcast.
Let's go.
All right, boys.
As you can tell, we're winging this podcast.
We're winging the intro right now.
But here's what I got for you.
Welcome to another episode of Buston with the Boys.
As you can see, our tailgate is lit.
We're here for the boys, Titans, Bill's Mafia.
We're all for the boys, so it doesn't matter.
What do we got for you?
Thank you, Regal Realty, Hunter Briley, through this awesome tailgate for us.
RegalrG.com is where you can find them.
Here's just personal.
And, guys, I'm not joking.
People are texting him.
If you got a little deal with, like, calling people, like, who cares?
Shoot him a text.
You can text him at 615-630-9-735.
And if you don't believe me, there were four people last week, Hunter, shooting four of many messages saying,
people are talking about, hey, the boy sent me.
Let him know the boy sent you.
He will get you taken care of anything from commercial investment.
What am I missing?
What am I missing?
Commercial residential?
He's got you taken care of.
Also, huge thank you to Anheuser-Busch.
Ajax Turner.
We're doing don't give a guys.
Natty Light Seltzers. Drink them up. Aloha
Beaches. Katolina a lime mixer.
Take pictures with them. Hashtag us.
Don't give on social. We'll put you
here. We'll put your picture right
next to us here. We'll put you down here.
We'll put you all over the place.
Your picture will be up. Tag us
at Bustin WTB.
That's on Twitter
and Instagram. Tag us
hashtag don't give up. We'll put your photo up,
guys. Hope you're loving Spooktober right now.
We're on day at this moment, day five.
Hope you guys are watching a nice little spook last night.
Me and the gal, we watched Scream, the original.
Went to a haunted house a couple days before with the boy.
Taylor, shout out the boy.
Good luck today in the game.
Bangor podcast coming up.
Ernest K.
Again, guys, rate us five stars, subscribe, share, like, do all that fun stuff.
Find us on social.
BustinWTB.
Our website, bustinwtb.com.
Buy up our merch.
We got Spooktober merch coming out.
It's probably out right now.
I don't know.
Don't give it.
Who cares?
Listen to some good music, smiling, like, oh, this is going to be a great day.
Like, hopefully Ernest will make me laugh.
Like, it's going to be great.
Let me stop in.
Get a nice little sandwich.
Get a couple lattes for the boys.
I got to get back in the truck.
I leave my latte sitting on the middle console.
Hit a bump.
It goes everywhere.
I try to grab it before it falls.
Makes it worse.
Lete.
Yeah, latte fucking everywhere, dude.
And it's in, it's around my, it's around the stick shift.
It's in the cup holders.
Yeah, I was so pissed off, dude.
I was like, how can I fucking punish myself?
Because I was that mad, I took a straw.
I took the straw out and started sucking up all the latte.
Was that how you punished yourself?
Yeah.
I was like, I don't care if it's dirty.
Like any little piece I'd spit out, but I was like, yeah, I got to handle this.
And I was so pissed off.
Who's your buddy that came?
Who's your buddy that came?
Ryan.
Ryan, I saw him walking by the truck, and I'm just, like, fucking dip in a shirt and stuff to get it all cleaned up.
And I'm looking at Ryan.
And I was like, is this earnest?
Like, I thought he had a fucking mold.
it. Well, I've been working out so much.
I was like, yeah, I was like, is Ryan?
Like, he looks like a, like a regular dude.
And then I get on the bus and, of course, like, I'm like, okay,
this fuck, this makes sense. I've never, I've never
had, like, suicidal thoughts ever in my entire life,
but anything, if I break a glass
or I spill something, for some reason, I'm just like, yeah, you should just
kill yourself. I was ready to take my own life.
I go, I jump a lot of hurdles to get to the end point.
You know what, fuck it. I'm done. Maybe just
maybe just finish it. And then it's over. And then
you don't have to work, we clean that up.
Yes, again. I said, I made a mess. I'll leave my body.
is a matter of store done.
I'm going to make a bigger mess.
Yeah, exactly.
I was like so mean to myself.
I'm like,
will you dumb motherfucker?
You got to figure this out.
Like, take my own life.
Okay, let's use a straw.
Right.
That's a little more.
We could start loving ourselves.
We could love ourselves a little more.
Yeah, I probably could, but I wanted to
my own ass to it.
And I was like, yeah, I got to keep my composure.
I'll just wait until the story on the pod.
Yeah, no doubt.
I mean, this bus,
usually positive vibes to start the bus off.
Ernest, I'm glad you're here.
A couple of things.
A couple of housekeeping items.
What's what that chain is?
Is it going to turn your neck green or is that real?
Neither.
All right, go ahead.
I've had it for three and a half, four years.
My wife got for me.
We're talking about a couple hundred bucks.
You have a wife?
You have a wife?
You're married.
That's impressive.
I got a married.
I got a married.
She's also married.
How long have you been married for?
Two and a half years.
Been together for seven.
Another Nashville native.
Nice.
He's a graphic design artist, photographer,
badass keeps me in line most of the time.
Unbelievable.
Yeah.
How does she feel about your workout regiments?
Like you go in there.
She films it, dude.
Does she really?
The last two times I've gone to the Y have been for content.
Only for content?
That's it.
I've been in there for five minutes.
You know what? Hang on, hang on, Becca.
What's the workout thing?
Are you serious?
Yeah.
I mean, I mean, like 15 million accumulative views.
It's not a big deal, dude.
It's just, you know.
Hey, I apologize.
I'm that guy.
I don't know if you know there's our boy Ernest here.
He's like he's, I wouldn't say a,
bodybuilder, but I wouldn't say cross-field.
He is the muscle build and the strength of a bodybuilder, but the endurance of a cross-fit guy.
He's like, he's like rich frowning, but bigger and more athletic.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Let's see what we got here.
There's the Kenny Rogers I was telling about.
See, if I look half that good when I'm 65.
Yeah.
This is the up and Adams.
This is a workout I came out with the other day.
Yeah.
Is that the warm up?
I like the big stretch.
Yeah.
You got to wake up.
You got to stretch it out.
And then let's go crack one open.
There you go.
And then we're here.
This is our ice lunges, okay?
Because you never know when you're going to fucking pull over it, pull something up,
and then an ice is sitting there, and now you've got to be ready to go.
Yeah, no doubt.
These are, these are your is, pause at the bottom.
If you ever get ice, the first thing I think about is, man, I hope my knees are warmed up.
You don't even, it doesn't even matter to you.
You're ready to go always.
And these are just your beer curls, 12-ounce beer curls.
Standards. Oh, yeah. Oh, hey.
Shake off the drip.
That's a veteran move.
Yeah.
Because you know when you first crack it a little bit of foam.
Yeah, you're going to get that drip off the fingers.
Yep, every time.
All right?
You got to slip that drip.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
So, yeah, like I say, I like to just, you know, stay in shape.
Yeah, I get it.
Stay ready.
Practice like you play.
This is the first one.
That was the OG.
I was at the Y.
My wife was doing arms, and I stood behind her just, like, ready to go.
And I was like, you know what?
Fuck it.
So I picked up a couple dumbbells, handed her in my phone.
I said, go over here and film me.
And she rolls her eyes.
Our relationship is her rolling her eyes.
I believe it.
I love that, dude.
I love that.
That's mostly in my wife and I's relationship as well.
It's love.
I can't believe I didn't think about it.
I spend most of my life in a gym.
I don't get much done, but I like that place.
I go there.
Why do you go to?
The one downtown?
Maryland Farms, why, and Britwood most of the time.
Green Hills is technically closer.
I got to be honest, every time I go to Green Hills, I leave depressed because it feels like a geriatric facility.
Really?
Yeah, it's like a nursing home.
Yeah, see, I've heard.
Well, I feel like I would thrive in a place like this because I would just want to shame everybody.
Like, yeah, this is me over here working out hard as shame.
But I don't work out hard as shit.
I go in there, I'm like, this is not the vibe to do my drinking videos.
I think the more people are looking at you, the better.
Yeah.
If you got people looking at like, what the fuck is this guy doing?
It makes the content so much better.
Right.
We might have to go out one day and get a little workout in.
I think that's for sure.
I have a new workout I want to work on.
It's like, you know, you put the 45 on a barbell and you do squats and balance the shit,
while it's the other end of the barbells on the ground.
It's the opposite.
I need a partner, and it's basically the beer bonged.
quad. So I'll have the 45 pound weight.
It's like I'm hitting a beerball and got a partner holding the other end up.
There you go.
I'm into it.
I'm a visual learner.
I got to see it.
I got to see it to know.
Ernst for sure is a guy you get on board with her.
You just absolutely hate.
Yes.
I sign up for that early on.
I signed up for that early on my life.
When you shave a bullet into your head, you've made a choice of, I'm going to be 50, 50.
I'm most people I've met.
Yep.
Yeah.
But honestly, you've got one two right here.
I don't know how the rest of the whole bus feels.
Love that.
I'm a big fan, dude.
What I'm, what I'm a,
little worried about is the mullet doesn't worry me the workouts don't worry me it's july and you're
wearing sweatpants i'm not wearing sweats he thought about wearing a bathroom those are psychopath that's a
psychopath i'm a psychopath but it's also stainless self-promotion i got south urn on the side here nice
so they're my pants you know you made i had them made you had them made but you didn't make them
no are you selling those uh these are one of ones but i've thought about it did you know if you went to
boston wtvvcum you can get all the merch you want you can go get t-shirts you can get a we'll make
neon sign. Get you some
for you a kuzzi.
I would love that.
I'm gonna,
can I go do that now?
Can I be up here back?
We can absolutely get that.
And we'll be right back.
This is all,
yeah.
And we're back.
We're back.
We're back.
We're back.
Let's do it.
Will's been trying to get a sponsors for the longest time, dude.
It's fucking.
It's tough.
We probably have.
I feel like Will hasn't really worked at it.
Again,
you know,
we don't know what time frame,
what world we're in right now.
So we could be,
we could be advertising.
So my favorite,
my favorite thing about the way Will remembers
is that as after you said that last time,
we even said, hey, Will, don't say those things in the podcast
because it's very unprofessional looking.
He said, yeah, you're right, I got to look at that.
And then here we are.
Here we are.
Well, you're not thinking.
You're like, you've got to think sometimes before you talk.
No, I don't.
Because this is what?
This can film next week.
It can film right now.
You know what?
We're going to post this podcast right after the things.
See how that worked?
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We only have the sponsors we now have.
Look at that now it's fixed.
And now it's fucking fixed.
So listen, I got to, I got a, I got a, the only way I know you, and you, so you sink, you do music.
I do music.
What do you play?
Do you play at all?
I play a little guitar, play a little piano.
Did you bring the guitar?
How old are you going to start doing that stuff?
Man, early as I can remember, my older cousin always play, like, he had electric guitars around, so I would, you know, shittily play a guitar.
But I had a keen interest in piano early on my grandmother's house after church on Sundays.
I'd go and like just play the notes for like,
as the deer pants for the water.
And none of my family's musical at all,
like my parents and stuff.
So they were just like, oh.
But they didn't know to support it.
They were just like, that's cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Third grade Christmas,
I got a banjo and the space jam soundtrack that Christmas.
And my life was...
So it's been the best Christmas of your entire life.
Easily,
easily, bro.
Because like, I discovered fucking hip hop, R&B,
all that shit through the space jam soundtrack.
And then I got the banjo.
and I was like, turn on to like Earl Scruggs and Lester Flat and started like,
I took like a month or two of banjo lessons and learned the songs that I can play now.
Learned like four songs.
That's all I can do a banjo.
I can rip a banjo for four songs.
I love that.
Can you do that right now?
You can rip a banjo right now.
Do you actually have a banjo in the back?
How do you find a bandjo?
If you have to bring it out, dare you.
I don't know.
You fucking call my bluff, dude.
How do you find banjo lessons?
That was my first thought.
Rob Jackson.
Rob Jackson.
You're in Nashville.
You're in Nashville.
Dude, I can find any lesson for anything out here.
Yeah.
Play the yuk.
It's a yukalel.
A little yuk piece.
Hey, the little yoke piece.
Talk about the phone call conversation you have.
And you're like, yo, we should have her in his count.
I'm going to give him a call.
And he talked about when you called me, he's like, oh, playing PlayStation.
Yeah, dude, I called you.
I called you.
And I'm like, yo, what's up, man?
No, man, I'm just out here playing some PlayStation right, a little 2K.
So pretty busy day.
What's going on?
That's how our entire conversation started.
It was that?
I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous coming to this thing.
I don't know what to expect.
but honestly I haven't been let down at all
Will you've let me down less
and Will lets me down so much in this
time frame usually when we start the bus
It's mutual. He's actually let me down already once it's mutual
Every day of our lives dude
Well I mean it's a friendship that's what friends are for
I'm in the I'm in the market for a new one
So if you got any
I got none
I got none
All my other friends hate my mullet
So I got nothing for you
I gotta shave a bullet dude
Fuck you're looking too sweet
You should dude
You won't
Well no
You would
I don't say that. I know you would, and you should.
I could probably get this lettuce back a little bit, but I got to deal a little more,
because I got that good, I got that good curl.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. Your mullet would be luscious, coming out of the back of the
helmet on a windy Sunday. God. Do you, uh, you like Theeovan, the comedian?
Yeah, he's great. He's solid, dude. He's got that sweet white treasure.
He's got a great mullet. He's got a good goatee to compliment the mullet.
Facial hair with a mullet is kind of important. I kind of got the full beard thing.
Wife won't let me do a goatee or I'd have one.
Uh, you know, it would be sweet.
as if you had a goatee with some mutton chops.
So you had that good space between here and here,
but then you'd bring it down half cheek.
Just anabellum.
God, you look so fucking good, dude.
I got no chin, too, so it would like...
I would look like it fucking idiot.
Taylor doesn't either.
I know, dude, I got this weak-ass jaw line, dude.
I got my ass knocked out in the week one of the game in a week one last year,
and I thought to myself as soon as I woke up,
like, dude, you got to fucking go get some surgery done him on this chin, dude.
You got a glass fucking chin.
They sell those things.
I saw a commercial.
I guess it was a sponsored ad on Instagram,
which I guess fucking Instagram had heard me talking about how I ain't got no jaw.
Yeah.
And they got these little fucking balls you can chew on, funny enough.
There's a little, it's a little rubber band thing, right?
And you put in the front and you like, you do that all that?
You do that?
You get a medium or a well-done steak and eat that instead.
I'm going to be honest.
I'd buy the shit of that.
Yeah.
I'm imagine.
Do you imagine how handsome might be with a, like a jawline?
An actual jawline?
You'd be decent.
You quit your job.
I'd be fucking, I quit everything.
Yeah.
I'd just be handsome.
He's fucking good-like to die, dude.
He's just handsome.
He's just handsome.
Yeah, what, does he get paid?
I don't really think he does.
He just is handsome.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, you don't get paid.
Go eat, leave.
You don't have, dude, it's the world of Instagram.
You look good.
They send you free shit.
Yeah, dude.
Period.
Well, we had, and oh, watch out, Will.
Try not to fuck this whole thing up.
We had Sean Booth on the, on the podcast,
and I'm looking, I get to look at Will every day.
And, like, Sean,
He's got the beard.
He's got the jaw line.
He's got the veins coming out of the arms.
And I'm looking back and forth.
I'm like, yo, like, Will, legit is, like, the way uglier version of Sean.
Like, you could see it.
Like, he's got no jawline.
He fixed his teeth.
No jawline.
Are you joking me?
Do you see this jawline?
You see his shoulder?
Like, he wore a tank top.
And I told him earlier.
We actually did arms today.
Right.
I know you can't tell.
But I'm saying, like, his shoulders, his shoulders, there's usually a definition of part where you're like, oh, that's what the shoulder ends and where the biceps starts.
He doesn't have that way.
We already got a backup.
You already messed up the jaw line.
We got like sausage.
Have you seen?
Hang on,
hang on.
You had your turn.
Hey,
you already had your turn,
bud.
You had your turn.
You know,
you know when you have like in the movie like Wolverine?
Like sausage casing at a pig store.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, relax now.
You had your turn.
It was bad.
You did a really bad job.
He's frying your ass.
He talked about my jaw line.
Do you see this jaw structure?
Like Taylor's jaw line.
I don't know if you've seen the X-Men movies
where the father he like melts into the ground.
It's just his face.
That's how Taylor like looks.
He looks.
It's like a melted face and of the ground.
Flubber called they want to do their sequel with you.
Oh, dude, that's such a bad joke.
That's not a bad joke.
That's not a bad joke.
That probably wouldn't have a bad jaw line.
Like, just look at the jaw.
Dude, hey, step back.
You got your head is so small and your neck is so big, dude.
Dude, I'm a good-looking cat.
I really don't even need your validity.
Someone pull up, hey, pull up.
Will Compton.
2016, go ahead, do that.
With the redskins.
With the redskins.
It's 2019 now, Bob.
You know what you know the does what you mean?
I'm all fucking natural, dude, and you're a phony.
You're not all natural.
Hey, Taylor, hey, last year, last year I'm drinking from mimosis to whiskey.
Oh, this one, that picture says...
That's a solid pick, dude.
Hey, when your mouth is closed for sure, dude.
Yeah, I agree with that.
Get the redskins.
Someone in the redskins with him smiling, bro.
Louie...
Oh!
Damn, hey, the boy did.
He's got some chompers on him.
He used to work as a wood chipper back in Missouri, dude.
Back before they...
People will call me short to him.
Back before he found the NFL, dude, he was like, you know, I got to chip some wood the day, dude, dude.
That's what he fucking did.
Taylor, last year after I got my teeth, he's like, hey, I'm thinking about getting beard plugs.
No doubt.
But don't tell anybody, though.
But I didn't do it.
And look what you did.
You ruined a friendship breaker, dude.
That's fine.
You're trying to ruin it right.
I'm trying to ruin it right now on the podcast.
I told you that in fucking confidence, dude.
You were going to get beard plugs?
Who was getting, you wanted to be doing?
Oh, he's thinking about it, bro.
No joke.
You know what?
Hey, the cat's out of the fucking back.
Hey, the cat's out of the fucking bag now.
Let's let it rip it.
Dude, let it fucking rip that.
You know what?
Yeah, well, okay, so Will got his teeth done.
I said, God damn, this guy went from the four to a six.
I got to, I got to, maybe there's something I could do.
Why am I a six?
Just shut the fuck up and let me finish, bro.
His feelings are hurt.
So I fucking do this fucking guy.
I had these, like, I had these patchies in here, you know what I'm saying?
I got that full earnest beard.
I don't know, I've got that white treasure love.
Since seventh grade.
So I thought to myself, you know, I might just go out to L.A., and I might just do it.
And I look at Will because Will's one of my really good friends,
plummeting right now.
and I call him like, yo, did you get the teeth done?
Like, how do you feel?
Did you feel like a sellout when you did?
He's like, honestly, at first I kind of did, but I was like, you know, once I did, I was like, no regerts.
So I was like, all right, I got to get this thing going.
Long story short, dude, I just looked in the mirror one day and I was like, dude, I love you.
And he said it back at the same time.
So I was like, damn, like these dudes.
It's really, like these dudes kind of have a connection.
I'm thinking about, yo, yo, I've been talking to myself for 25 minutes in the mirror.
I can't leave this guy.
Right.
You know what I'm going to let it ride.
I'm going to let it roll in there, dude.
By some grace of the fucking Holy Spirit or whoever the hell is up there gives me a full beard someday,
I'm going to call Will's ass dude, and I'm going to fucking, I'm going to go back to Bontere, Missouri,
where he's at.
Yes.
That's not where I'm going to be.
Because I kicked him out of this podcast.
Now he's fucking broke.
He went to Bontare fucking Missouri, and I'm going to go there, and the only thing he's going to have,
he's going to have wrinkly leather skin because he's so old and he works out,
and he works in the fucking farms, dude.
Farm farm farm.
He's got a farmer's hand.
And I'm going to punch out his right front tooth.
And he won't have enough money to fix it, dude.
And I'll have just one of those little dangly things.
And I'll say, remember 2019, dude.
And I'll leave.
And I'll get in my private jet and I'll fucking fly out of there, dude.
I'm like, get me out of this.
Get me out of this hell.
Dude, I'm done.
I'm fucking done with this guy, dude.
So disrespect.
Welcome to bus.
So disrespect.
That was a friendship code.
You know, I don't know why you got a point.
Yeah, he brought the finger out.
I don't want to know what you got to do.
Hey, what are you going to do though?
What are you going to do?
Put the finger.
Put the finger guard down, dude.
Bro.
You all are so in love.
I don't get it.
I hope that tastes a good.
We're so in love.
I can get you a buggy.
You pick your nose a lot?
What's the deal?
I found myself picking my nose a lot.
This is the first time I've ever been asked that.
But yeah, I think I do actually.
I do too.
I'm not necessarily probably, but I'm the guy in a car that will be fucking digging for
no reason with my pinky probably.
I'd like to say I'm itching, but I really feel like I have a bugger up there.
Scrape, scrape the whole border.
Yeah.
And I sometimes I'll think to myself like, I got to be the only dude who picks my nose
as much.
Yeah, no.
And I think people catch me, but I'm like,
They're not catching me.
That's why I got titted windows.
I got titted windows, dude, but the thing is, like, your front.
I remember back in the day, my dad and I were driving, and we're going on the street,
the street, and we're at a stoplight, and my dad said, look at this girl, and I looked in the rearview mirror,
and this chick's just going to pound town, dude.
She is getting after this thing.
I swear to God, she was trying to give herself brain damage.
Yeah, and she looked at it.
My dad goes, watch her, watch her, watch her, watch her, watch her, watch her, and she just slow-mode,
brought it into her mouth and ate it.
And so every time I pick my nose, I'm, like, sitting there to lie.
I'm in that thing hard because I don't know what it is.
Like when I was 10 years old, I was sitting in my house and I'm thinking to myself like I'm watching Castaway.
What would I do if something like that happened to me?
And as I'm thinking for some reason, my thinking feeling, my nervous tick, I had to pick my nose.
So I picked my nose and I picked it.
I was like 10.
I picked it and then I ate it.
And I was like, yo, you're a genius.
If you ever get, if you're over an island and you're a castaway, you're not dead yet.
You're not dead yet.
food source up here.
That you can just eat and it'll be over.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
You have a whole,
I have a whole ecosystem up here.
At 10,
though.
Yeah,
at 10, that's fine.
At 27,
that is about the only other time
you're just like,
I'm about to fucking dominate this burger.
You're stranded on,
you're stranded on an island,
dude.
It's been like three days.
I've like,
you like keep yourself from like picking it
and let it grow in there.
Yeah,
I'm about to go in on this burger.
Naked and afraid.
You all watch naked and afraid.
No,
I haven't seen it.
Ah, it's great.
Yeah,
I have...
It's great, but I'm just...
It's a perfect scenario.
You were you on that show?
No, and I wouldn't be.
But I'm just saying, if I would be,
it'd be day one, I'd be fucking starving.
I'd be like, I'm not going to look for fucking avocados.
I'm picking my boogers.
That's it.
I'm saving energy.
I made of mine.
Make the girl or whatever.
Go do all the work.
Go fetch water.
She's your interview.
Like, that fucking piece of shit.
That, that, that, that, that...
It just cuts to me.
And do you leave more alvecados?
Yeah.
Sitting on a fucking branch.
Just tossing bockers back like grapes.
put him in his own mouth
I put it in a branch
and they know the branch
and he's like a person
student for you
peel my boogers
yeah
I did a naked and afraid
vine when vine was out
yeah how'd that go well
it was uh
I don't think I posted that one
I don't know I was like
uh so I got naked obviously
and uh there was a
I just took a plant from the house
and set it next to a mirror
and then just kind of panned it around
and I literally just go
I'm just naked and afraid at this point
because you know
why didn't you post that
yeah that I don't know
I was in college and you know you're like
you're like brainwash to like okay
coach would get pissed about this one.
Oh my God.
Because you only had to what seven seconds to make a video
or six seconds?
Did you do Vine?
You definitely did Vine.
I did. I did. I had a Vine Street.
It was like, it would have been like 2012.
You can't find me. It's gone.
No, but I might have that video saved on my phone.
I hope you do. How is that phone?
33 years old apparently.
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Guys, you guys know it's got data transfers
when you get another phone. Does it?
I mean, you know, honestly,
honestly, I don't own a computer.
That's a lie. I own a computer.
I haven't used a computer.
two, three years. Okay, there you go. I go to FedEx to print my stuff out. Print and scan.
I actually think we'll go do it. I found it. No, you didn't. Oh, shit. That's my new ringtone,
dude. That's me that. That's great. Play it again. Play it again. So I'm going to hear it. I'm just
naked. You see the beginning where I'm like naked in the mirror? A little butt crack back there.
That's hilarious, dude. Oh my God. You know how quick you just found that? Yeah, that one.
Did you have that like, you had that in the chamber? Did the beginning of the video, the two pairs of
flip-flops
I'm just naked and afraid at this point
I'm just naked and afraid
What are these other videos
Dude I don't hey keep running
We just found the vine gold
Standard hungover hungry please help
Look at it
Play the video
You probably got hair implants too
Didn't you because your hair's a little thinner in there
It is a little thinner in the corners
No I don't have a hairplice I don't have hairplice yeah I don't believe
Yeah yeah yeah
Sunday Scaries
Dude
Dude. Nothing worse than the Sunday Scars was this.
I wish Vine came back.
That's kind of a cool thing.
Vine was fun, dude.
It was fun.
I forgot about that.
Hey, Ball.
What's that?
Let me get my phone back.
No.
Nope.
Oh, man, this is good.
I wish we could live feed it.
We got a transition.
Right here.
You had a heart attack senior year of high school?
Oh, wow.
Cocaine.
Cocaine accessories.
It wasn't cocaine, surprisingly.
Really?
It was this, it was called myocarditis.
It was a viral infection.
Super Ramp.
Watch yourself.
Sorry.
It was, uh, yeah, dude, it was like a sinus infection, but instead of it going to my sinuses,
it went to my myocardian.
This is the most I know about the anatomy, by the way, just for the thing.
I sound like a fucking doctor.
Wow.
This guy's, I don't know where my fucking knee was before this, but, uh, the, the shit
went to my myocardian and then my immune system attacked it.
This is on a Sunday.
I'm just having a Sunday.
Um, having a Sunday on Sunday?
Just having a Sunday on a Sunday.
Dude, I love it, man.
And, uh, I thought I was, you know, when you're running.
in cold weather and it feels like you're breathing in like a fiery ice or whatever it's tough to
breathe maybe it's just fat guys right i looked over at dinner and i still i see him just looking
you nobody okay well sit against you all right you're professional athletes no being an average guy
running and you're just like hey think i'm dying it was like that but i hadn't done shit
that day and i was like man dude this doesn't feel right so i went to the hospital with my mom and they
took forever in the ER. They ran like EKG and shit. And the doctor came in was like, well,
I think you're probably just having an asthma attack because of allergies. I was like, okay,
I never had asthma before, whatever. So he gave me a breathing treatment, sent me home.
Felt better throughout the day. That night, that pain came back like times 20. This is two weeks
into district tournament. This is district tournament's senior year baseball. Like, we're having a
fucking great run. I was a pitcher, having a good season. This happened on a Sunday. Then I'm back in
back in the hospital that night, they come back, they're like, well, I know you're here earlier,
and we tested you for a heart attack, and you weren't having one.
We're going to do it one more time.
So they ran the test, and doctor was like, you are having a heart attack right now.
My mom was like, she walked out of the fucking room, like calling everybody, crying.
Wait, so your mom just left?
Yeah, she left me right there.
Sorry, son, you're having a heart attack.
Hadn't seen her since.
Got to go make another one.
This is my out.
Yeah, this is my out.
I was adopted three weeks old.
I was like, great, now I've got to go get adopted again.
Yeah.
But no, she walked out.
She was, like, freaking out.
Obviously, we weren't expecting to have a heart attack that night.
But it was a great...
We weren't expecting to have a heart attack.
Dude, you know how good of a fucking weapon piece that is
when you're in the fight with a girlfriend and she's being a bitch?
Yeah, your wife...
Your wife's listening to this right now going, go ahead, keep going, bud.
Yeah, let's hear this strategy.
Keep that fucking thing going.
See what happens.
Nope.
Nope.
I'm just saying...
You finish that thought.
I am. No, I am.
There's nothing better than hitting somebody with a,
got to go having a heart attack.
And then MIA through the night.
Next thing I know, I got a catheter up my cock.
You had a catheter in there?
Yeah, they ran one.
Did they drug you first?
Or they just going there cold?
They drug me first, so I don't necessarily,
I didn't have a bad experience with a catheter.
I think it was actually went great.
But I don't remember it.
I don't remember it.
I don't remember it.
I remember getting wheeled out.
shot, shot.
They wanted me to pee in a cup, and I couldn't pee.
So they had to run the shit.
So they gave me all this medicine and stuff.
And next thing I know, I wake up the next morning,
and I had had my heart attack.
And I was back playing baseball two weeks later.
No way.
Like nothing happened.
We went on to win the state championship.
Shout out David Lipscomb High School.
My dad was my high school baseball coach, and it was his 900th career victory.
Oh, my God.
And I got to pitch for the win, dude.
It was great, man.
It was.
Ernie Rella.
Ernie Raleigh.
Dude, that's awesome.
Yeah, that was a cool experience.
HBO should have had you on their show.
Yeah, well.
Up.
Hey, you hear that?
It's a train.
That's a train, my baby.
And any time you're on the bus, dude, there would not be a podcast without the bus.
Or, sorry, damn it, without a train coming on the bus, dude.
Yeah, how long do they normally last?
I don't know.
There's a lot of box cars on those things, dude.
Like, sometimes hundreds.
Hundreds.
Talk about cocaine.
I bet some just passed us.
Yeah.
All these buses have been going on?
I guarantee.
Yeah, dude, you see all those.
the stores, it was like, what, $38 million worth of cocaine?
Yeah.
Wasn't it, like, IBM or something like that?
Like, own the boat?
J.P. Morgan.
J.P. Morgan.
Classic case.
Dude, look that up.
Do they have a video?
This is a video of a guy of the Coast Guard storming a submarine.
Dude, that one was savage.
With, like, 18, whatever, about, 18 million pounds, something like that.
My question is, if they're like, hey, the Coast Guard's coming, they're like,
all right, well, we should probably get the submarine to submarine.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, go down.
Just go down.
Homemade?
He's a homemade.
Oh, so it wasn't, like, legit.
Just skimmer.
So that's why I couldn't go under?
Yeah, no.
I'm sitting there watching.
I'm like, yo, these these are about to jump on the submarine,
and who knows what after that.
Right.
What do you expect when you're over?
Oh, my God.
The balls you have to have, like, this guy,
they're coming up on this thing, and you know,
like, if you have drugs, you have a gun.
You have a gun in there.
Yeah.
They're coming out firing.
Like me, I'm this guy pointing.
Hey, you jump on there.
Yeah, yeah, you're telling the other guy.
Then you're still a hero.
You're looking at me.
And I'm like, hey, Taylor, go it.
They're also yelling at it like they can hear what's happening on outside.
Yeah, exactly.
Get out of there.
Get out of the goddamn submarine.
Don't make me jump on there.
This thing was homemade?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I don't know whose house they made it at, but it's not a...
Look at this.
Here you go right now.
It's like Call of Duty, dude.
They're right on it.
In the middle of the ocean, dude, this guy's a lunatic dude.
This is Call of Duty, Modern Warfare.
Look at him, slamming that thing.
And having to open that up, his adrenaline's got to be so insane.
Like, I'm about to get...
I'm thinking you're going to get shot.
Yep.
Yeah.
Right on that opens up.
Not that.
Just surrendered immediately.
Dude, he didn't want any of that juice.
Dude.
Man.
Man.
That's crazy.
That's a lot of drugs.
That's a lot of time in prison.
That's a lot of time in prison.
How long you get in prison for that?
Like, was it?
I've never been.
Never been?
I've never been for cocaine.
I mean, shit.
You're gone.
What's the worst thing you've ever done?
Have you ever broke the law?
Me?
Plenty of times.
He said, look at him.
Worst thing I ever did.
Ah, shit.
You're a good kid, huh?
I'll tell you what.
I didn't get in trouble for this, but this is classic.
I was at a friend's high school party.
It was a surprise birthday party.
And I had my truck there.
I had a single cab F-150.
I was like 17, and me and my buddies were kind of just driving around, like, taking a dip before the party kind of started having.
We were just cruising around the neighborhood, dipping, talking shit.
Get back to the party.
the road because it's a surprise party we don't want any people to see our cars uh go in party for a little
while then like yo i'm gonna go out to the truck get our cigars are gonna go smoke cigars go out to
the truck i'd locked my keys in the car right next to a little bit of a little bit of weed a couple
beers and my cigars and my parents are the only ones somebody else's weed yeah and this is my
yes those my friends me yeah it's not my friends we and uh yeah so as a genius 17 year old i'm thinking
Don't have the cash to get a locksmith.
Right.
Mom can't bring a spare key because this party's over if she comes and lets me into my truck.
Church of Christ, born and raised.
Like super conservative.
Really?
Big T if mom shows up.
So I did the next most logical thing.
I picked up a rock and started banging the window.
I'm going to break into my car.
Doesn't break.
Step back.
Crow hop.
Boom, boom.
Went through fucking both windows, bro.
shattered both windows and like
just in the moment I was like
I'm gonna get my shit out of here
and like way back to the party
and fucking got two
what's the statutes?
I think we're good
it's been seven or eight years
two free windows
out of that one
dude
he's like my car broken in too hard
that's fucking awesome
I mean that's not the worst thing
I've ever heard but that's solid
that's the that's the
that's the most one
I can tell you that one
yeah I can tell you that one
Will's never done a bad thing in his life
Except for, yeah.
Except for changes teeth.
You know him better than me.
Except for, you know, not just be the person
God made you.
That's always a big thing.
Yeah.
Go to love himself.
What's the worst thing you've ever done, Will?
I don't know.
I was trying to think.
The worst I've gotten in trouble with the law is like an MIP.
You got MIPT in college?
High school.
No shit.
Is that masturbation in public?
I mean, what is MIP?
No, I think.
Minor in possession.
Oh, I've gotten a couple of those.
Yeah, those are drinking.
It was on Christmas Eve, too.
So midnight mass, my, you know, Catholic family, we were at midnight mass, and I was just like, it was just hell in my brain, dude.
Like, how am I going to?
Because I was, like, you know, grounded in everything.
I was, you know, grounded.
Yeah, you know, as a high school, you're grounded from shit.
You're just like, oh, God, my life sucks.
But I sat in, I sat in jail overnight and everything.
I had to call a friend to mail me out because I didn't want to tell my parents at first.
I was trying to find any way possible to kind of get it around them and, you know.
Were you, like, super drunk?
who you just have and something?
No, I played one game of beer pong.
We won the game.
Sure.
So you only use two beers per set of, you know, the cups.
Yeah.
And we won the game, so I didn't even have like a full beer in my system.
And I was making, after that, I was just making bets on the side with my younger brother as he was playing guitar hero because he was a savage.
Oh, yeah.
And so I was just bet guys on the side.
And the cops came, everybody was sort of running.
Everybody left.
They're driving off and everything.
And me, I was on scholarship and stuff already.
And I trusted that I had less of the beer.
so I was just like, I'll be fine.
Guys are drunk, leaving, running, driving, and everything got pulled over.
Guys who were drunk got pulled over.
D.U.I.
And the cops are all around and they're phoning each other, walkie, talking back and forth.
You know, just high school kids, we're going to let these guys go.
My buddies get out of getting DUIs and everything else that was going on.
Was it, who was it?
Who was your buddy?
Nick?
Oh, okay.
His name was Chuck.
I thought it was Nick.
No, not Nick.
Nick would never do it.
Yeah, he would never do something wrong.
Yeah, he wouldn't do anything wrong.
But then, so I had to do the,
breathalyzer and they're like have you had anything to drink and I just said no because I again I'm thinking lessen the beer and I just watch a guitar hero for like the last hour chill I blew like a something extremely low like the point oh one or oh one eight five or some shit and the cop was basically just pissed off that I lied to him and said we're gonna we're gonna get him and there's two of us that guy got got and we were sitting in the jail cell we had buddies hiding in closet that they never found guys left and I'm thinking as I'm sitting in the jail cell like I should have been the fucking bad kid and just ran that's what I'm thinking of my head yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Dude, I was so pissed off, man.
And yeah, I got Mipped.
And that was Christmas Eve, too.
Oh, God.
Everybody's thinking like I was over.
I thought I was going to lose my scholarship.
I thought I was going to lose it all.
But that was the worst thing that I've done with the law.
Yeah.
That I'm thinking about.
You get tight.
When the law gets involved, you get a little tight.
Especially if you got shit going.
I never felt that way.
Yeah.
You said you got worse with you's mipped, too?
No.
God, no.
No, I've had a lot more stuff than just a map.
And you never got that nervous about it?
No, I never did because.
You're wild.
Well, thank you.
But I've also
I think you
I've always been
like a person that
Like we'll either play things
Super up or super down
And when it comes to the law
Everyone freaks out
When the police are around
So I've always tried to play it really down
Even with cops
Yep
And so yeah I've gotten some trouble
I think I was 12 years old
A scept
Oh no
A sift
Assault theft
Battery and robbery
Low key
Just a little
Assault theft
The robbery battery piece
This little deal
A little deal.
Not big.
Really like it's out, I'll tell you the story and then I'll tell you, well, I'll tell you the things I got in trouble for.
So I had assault, assault, assault, death, battery, robbery.
And then I, uh, I, for just that, I got put on standard probation and I broke probation.
Yeah.
Was like, uh, for assault.
And I was like 13.
Oh, I guess I was 13 when I had the assault death battering robbery.
And then I got 14.
Were those compound charges?
That was all one.
Yeah, that was one situation.
Good man.
And then, um, I got.
I broke probation for assault, so I went to jail.
But it wasn't like jail.
It wasn't like juvie.
It was like a holding cell for the weekend.
Like a scarum straight kind of thing.
Right, right, right.
The most nervous I was in jail was in my jail cell, like the, obviously the bed wasn't
very comfortable, but you could fold it up, so you had a little bit of a pillow.
And I was cool.
Like, I never had like a good bed growing up.
So I was like, this is straight.
Yeah.
But the biggest nervous thing I was, dude, was like my toilet.
I had like, I had a glass like door.
so I didn't have bars or nothing
It was kind of a homey little spot
Dude it was very contemporary
Little urban
Urban loft
Hey could I just say here
I'd give them the old dudes
Hey what's up going on
Yeah
But the most nervous I got the whole time
Was there's a toilet in the corner
And in the corner
You look up
Straight up and there's a camera
Facing the toilet
Wow
And so I'm like 13 years old
Or 14 I guess this time
And I'm like super nervous
Like I got a shit
But I don't want these people
To watch for me
Like I thought like you know
Yeah
That was the most uncomfortable
like that the whole time.
Yeah. How big were you as a 14 year old?
I was like 6.3, 6.6. 6.6. 6.6. It's just taller than Will is now.
But like I never was like a random.
But I like, okay. Just hate. Waits hard and Will.
Hey, fuck you still.
To be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. To be honest, today, today we were working out and the kid that we worked out with his name is Mikey as an intern.
And he came in spouting off at me. And I just had to turn it on on him and start killing him.
And Will and Will's like, why did you do that?
I've kind of been in a mood all day
But anyway, so the thing that got me
On one
The thing that got me
Assault that better never
Because I know people listen this going
Yo, too, it was a bad kid
Like what really happened was
Is this dude had a
One of those old school iPods
Where you spin it with your thumb
To find out the song you want
Whatever
But you had the coolest guns and roses ones
It was like black with a red spin dial
Yes
And I was at PE
And I'm like yo let me use that
So you let me use it
And anyway
One thing let
Are we rolling still?
are they seeing it, Matt?
What's going on with that thing?
My baby, I'm sweating my ass off over here.
Poor Ernest has got sweatpants on.
You mean, take them off?
I mean, yes, I do.
See what I'm wearing.
Hang on, hang on.
I take this kid's iPod.
I took this kid's iPod, and I'm like, let me use it.
Well, I didn't give it back to him for a little bit.
And then at the end of the day, he asked me for it.
And I was like, a mad kid at this time.
And I was like, no, I'm going to keep it.
And he was like, no.
And he, like, grabbed me by the shoulder.
I turn around and I hit him.
And, like,
that was it.
And so...
You were a bully.
I was not a bully.
So, like, the way I was in middle school...
No, I took his iPod and I got on the...
I got on the bus and I left.
And then after that, like, I got charged with all that stuff the next day.
But it was like, all I did was take an iPod and hit a kid.
And I know it sounds horrible.
It's all I did.
When I said...
But if I were to say to you, hey, assault, theft, battery, and robbery, you'd be like,
yo, this guy robbed a bank.
No doubt.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And this kid, like, his...
his mom, this kid, I hope
to God, this kid's listening to this podcast.
Me too, actually.
His mom came in and she's like, she's like, we, like,
I remember being in court and
they do the whole, I have my, my,
like my guy who my lawyer or whatever,
like if you can't afford a lawyer, one's,
the guy that was appointed to you. Yeah, the guy who was appointed
to me, literally, like, I thought he,
his next case was next. Like, he looked
like a horrible, like a criminal.
His suit was like four sizes too big.
Or tennis shoes. Baggies. He was actually
wearing converse. He was wearing, he was wearing
He had glasses that there was no way there were prescription.
Like he got those at CVS for $14.
And I'm like, dude, this is the worst.
This guy's terrible.
He's like drawn on watch.
He can't even afford his own watch.
And this guy's, you know, defending me or whatever.
Anyway, the mom walks in of this kid and she's rocking Gucci and Louis Vuitton and all this different stuff.
And she starts telling me, or not me, she starts selling the court, like, we can't even afford this.
Like, I can't believe he would do something.
Like, take that from, like, my son.
Like the value of that was like $700, which I don't think that an iPod has ever been $700.
Nope.
Lye.
Lie.
It was never that much.
And the whole time, and I don't know.
I'm 13.
I don't know what Louis Vuitton is.
And my mom's so mad on the car right home.
She's like, this fucking bitch, dude, she's wearing Louis Vuitton, ball, like spouting off.
And in my head, I'm like, yeah, am I going to go to jail?
Yeah.
The whole time, I'm super nervous.
Yeah.
Dude, 12 was how old, like seventh grade?
That was seventh grade.
That was seventh grade.
Sixth grade.
Take a kid's iPod.
Oh, one big.
Dude, seventh grade,
it was tough.
I won't 6'3 and 7th grade
when I was like,
I guess I was 13 when this happened.
So that's 8th grade
and then my freshman year of high school
I was like 6-2 maybe.
I was always been super tall
but I was like lanky.
Looking like a great Dane.
Yeah, I was a great Dane.
Exactly.
The real skinny little.
The average kids are probably like mid-5
still trying to get that girl's brand.
This dude, this big dude just takes his iPod.
I'm going to use this for a little bit.
I was this size in the seventh grade.
Can I get that back?
The thing grabs them to the shoulder.
Bam!
Damn, dude.
dude there's this kid there what a bully
there was the bullies
there was the bullies at Desert Canyon and then
I was like a scale down from them
like I was like I got bullied by them but also
it was kind of like a bully myself
the middle child of boys yeah I was a middle child
of the school and this kid named Joey LaTrell did he was like
510 511
and he was like rocked up
as an eighth grader like he was like this kid was on something
and now to this day he's probably the same height and bald
like he was like one of those who's like way too much
testosterone when you're younger yeah and he was
He was like the biggest bullet.
He'd sat.
He'd had the dicky pants on sag down.
Of course.
That's me too.
But I'm just saying he also.
Yeah.
Smoking cigarettes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Target.
Yeah.
Me too.
But I'm just saying I'm trying to finish for him.
I'm just saying,
I'm here.
I'm just saying I'm here.
I'm not made.
Yeah.
Needless to say like I wasn't the greatest child.
I've actually gotten a lot better as a person-ish.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
But that's probably a thing.
We all grow.
Middle school.
Second grade,
I pulled a knife on a kid in seventh grade and got suspended for nine weeks.
I love how he's led that off, too.
Hey, we all grow.
Like, you know, it sounds great to pull the knife on kid.
Like, no biggie.
Okay, what though?
That's a no biggie.
Oh, man.
No, it's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal.
We moved on.
Yo, we're 40 minutes in.
Like nothing.
That's wild.
I've only had one drink.
I'm proud of myself.
Really proud of myself.
That's crazy.
What else we got going on here?
We've talked about on clinical records.
Did you do any of bar still stuff?
Nope.
They didn't really post any of my video.
Yeah, no.
It's all enough.
It's enough.
Barstool, man. We're a bit of a war with Barstow.
And actually, Marcos, do you do me favor?
Can you look up the stuff you were showing me at the coffee shop the other day and tell me when to post that thing about Barstow?
Because fuck them.
He's working on that font deal, too.
So that way we'll have it.
I think he's got it.
Do you have it in the right font and stuff?
Marcos?
For those of you listening to our podcast right now, Ernest is now pulling out a bottle of champagne, which I know he's gotten from Kroger because he told me on the phone earlier.
Do you want anything from Kroger?
8-690 is my code.
Do you want anything from Rokker?
Kroger.
Yeah.
Dude, I saw a fight break out in Kroger once, one of the local Kroger's.
I think it was in the German, yeah, I was in the Germantown one.
I was just trying to get...
That's a sketchy.
That's a sketchy, it's a sketchy one.
Yeah.
First, I got asked if I could provide dinner for a family at night.
I did one of those, you know, big, the fried chicken deals.
Yeah, we get it.
You're a great guy.
No, no.
But he wasn't even there when I came out to give it to him.
I was like, yeah, okay, I felt like corner.
You know how you're like, okay, sure, I'll do that.
It was like my first time walking in Kroger when I got to Nashville.
So this is like my first...
Welcome to Nashville.
Yeah, this is my first impression in Nashville.
And then I go in, get some toilet paper.
And we're in the toilet paper aisle.
And these two guys just start...
One comes up on them, like holding up his shorts,
pushes them in the back to let them know, like, hey,
this is going down right here in aisle 7.
And they just start swinging on each other, toilet paper's phone on and stuff.
I'm like, backing home, I'm thinking,
should I pull up my phone?
No, don't do that.
Hey, hey, boys, boys!
And the cops come running.
Tackle them.
And I'm standing there like,
yo, what in the hell is going on in Nashville?
Dude, it's lit.
Nashville's lit.
It's late. It's late. It's late. It's late. It's late. Yeah, the accrues is a greatchy-ass spot.
Let me taste some of that.
Have a little bit of that. Do you mind?
Yeah. I just want to see what we're dealing with here.
This is a nice little orca.
Orca. Orca solid.
This podcast brought to you by Orca Coolers.
Hey.
We'll be right back after this.
Yeah.
And we're back.
And we're back.
And we're back.
What's the, uh, you know, mimosas are unbelievable.
Pretty great.
Yeah. Gives me a wicked harper, though. Don't know what it is.
Yeah. It's the mimosa, probably.
I think it's the acid. Fair enough.
Acid. That's another conversation. Acid.
Have you ever taken acid before?
Yes. How was it?
Great. I like mushrooms better. Do you? Yeah.
Didn't they get illegalized in Colorado?
No, they're decriminalized.
De-criminalized. So if you have a certain amount of mushrooms on you, you don't...
I don't know. You don't... Like, you can't get... Go to jay.
I mean, if you have like 10 pounds, you'd probably go to jail.
But like it's a look the other way kind of mentality.
But like mushrooms, you need like a 3.5 grams to even have a trip.
Yeah, so but micro dosing.
Yeah, microdosing is a real deal.
And I'm ready for them to start prescribing micro doses instead of antidepressants because it just is better, dude.
It's like you're not taking pills.
You're just taking some mother earth.
Yeah, that's a beautiful thing.
I don't want this to turn into an educational podcast.
It's not.
It's not.
But doctors, like, it's crazy how doctors will, you know, go to school in the 80s, right?
Right.
And then they're only a product of what they know.
So, like, their whole identity is the knowledge that they have.
Right.
Well, if you don't take the time to learn more, to grow more, to find out.
Because modern medicine is like technology.
It's going through the roof every single day.
Because of technology, we can learn more.
It's a vicious circle.
Yeah.
So if you don't stay on top of it, it's crazy.
But, like, in the NFL, they prescribe you.
Pain killers, all this different stuff.
And it's like, and someone talks about marijuana, like, you know, it's a plant.
Yeah.
Or mushrooms.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
And mushrooms used in the right way are an amazing way to open up like who you are and figure yourself out.
Yeah.
From a spiritual standpoint.
This is all true.
You're taking mushrooms, Will?
I have not.
No.
Wow.
I have not.
What are you doing later?
We actually got some right here on this podcast right now.
That's, I mean, me either.
But I think.
I think in the future we'll probably look back on a time like this when we hope this stuff collaborates was like modern medicine.
Yeah.
To where we're going to look back and like kind of laugh at ourselves that we didn't do this stuff sooner.
Totally.
I don't know anything about the whole mushroom ordeal or the micrograms that could be better than.
Microdose.
Yeah, micro doses that could be instead of antidepressants.
It's more of a shoulder up.
Yeah.
So your boy that came with you, Ryan.
Ryan, right?
Yeah.
Ryan lives with Bobo.
Bobo does our IVs.
Bobo was telling him about.
You live with Bobo?
Bobo does the IVs.
Oh, okay.
Bobbo does our IVs.
Bobbo is talking about microdosing,
how it's like,
it,
I guess,
affects the nervous system
in your body.
Like,
it makes you,
like,
releases endorphins.
Yep.
So you feel better throughout the day.
But also,
it's like,
it's like a mild form of adderol in a way.
And I know that's not correct.
Anybody who's listening to this,
but I say that because it's you're more focused.
Like you get more stuff done.
You look like,
your day and you're like,
yo,
I got a lot of shit done.
Yeah.
The problem is,
is that people will abuse anything.
So if you go and you do microdosing mushrooms and you do,
and you're like,
amazing. I'll take more tomorrow. The next day and next day. The human body is not built
to be happy all the time. We'd love to be, you know, nine or tens all the time, but that's
not the reality. You have to feel those dips to someone that makes the heights even better.
But that makes me a little bit worried about that. But yeah, Bobo was telling me about all that
microdosing stuff. It's pretty crazy. Yep. It's, it's more than fun. It really is.
You just have a great day. You really have a great day. It's not like you just sit there and
fucking look at trees all day. You have a good day.
It looks like you definitely don't care about.
like what you pick out wardrobe. I'm like, yo,
I love my life so much. A fucking dude.
Flamingo socks. I'm a comfortable guy.
Are those Gucci flip-flops? These are Gucci.
Hey, can I, can I do a rap
in my Hank Hill voice that
featured my Gucci flip-flops? Yes, I love
Sure, yeah, let's see this. It goes like this.
It goes, uh, I just fuck
my wife and some Gucci flip-flops.
I only fuck Peggy because that Gucci tip-top.
Got a brown leather cattle strap for my wrist
watch. If I pull this truck over, that's a fucking
pit stop. Whoa.
Fuck boys want to see me stressed
I'm drinking
I'm watching PBR and drinking
Wait a second
Fuck boys want to see me stressed
I'm drinking PBR and watching PBS
I'm popping prescriptions from down at CVS
Trying to rock my camo bridges
Bitches they can't see it yet
Hit the club me and boom Howard
Smoking propane left the room sour
I'm at the top of the tune tower
Looking round now I need myself a little boom powder
Hey that's solid
Hey go just a little hang kid
We just turned in a little boy
Sorry I had to do it
You said Gucci flip flops and now I think fucking...
Take an opportunity to plug yourself always.
Why not?
Why not?
I would never not do that.
Dang it, Bobby?
We just turned in there.
If you weren't my son, I'd hug you.
That was a great show.
That's a good rap.
We turned into the breakfast club right there where they like people rap.
Yeah, sway in the morning real quick.
Yeah, yeah.
Sway in the morning, there you go, yeah.
I'm sure your music is unbelievable, but you could easily be the Weird Al Yankovich of the country music.
Love to be later.
You could absolutely do that.
I think his name was Cletus T.
Was his name really?
That should have been a play.
Wow, boy.
There you go.
Yeah, I don't know anything.
Oh, it was a great day to be a guy.
Who's another one he had?
Who's that?
What was his name?
Cletus T. Judd, I think.
Cletus T. something?
Yeah.
What's the dude?
Fuck, there's a country singer.
We listen to him all the time.
You're talking about, uh,
Aitin Pussy.
Wheeler Walker Jr.
Yeah, Wheeler Walker Jr.
The most crass man.
Dude, he's hilarious.
He talks about, he's got a song.
He's like, quit his job and got pissed at his
boss so he beat his, beat the husband's ass,
and ate his wife's pussy, and kicked his husband's
ass. At the end of the song,
he brought some girl home from Broadway.
Yeah. And then he's like, this chick at it, I thought
she was a chick turned out. He had a dong.
So I kicked her ass and sucked
their dick.
Dude, dude. And it's like good
hilarious, dude. It's like good music. He sounds good.
He sings well. Can we play that for a second? Is that possible?
Good news. It's a, it's
Wheeler Walker, Jr. And I think
the song's called Eating Pussy and Kicking Ass.
Yeah, I think you're right. That's funny, dude.
That's the best one, too.
And the thing is so funny is, the music video is him and one dude.
And he's playing for like, it looks like he's at like Puckets or something like that.
And there's a bunch of old people there.
And no one's really reacting.
And then he says like, he's like a sucking dick and kicking ass.
And the other guy's like, soaking dick and kicking ass.
Like he's got a little background.
Yeah, that shit's hilarious, dude.
Yeah, this guy's a stud, though.
I should get the old line to redo his video.
I was, we were working out today and I was like, yo, it'd be so much doper.
to be a country singer or a singer in general than a football player.
Another train, another podcast, another train.
Same podcast, one train.
Same podcast, different train.
What you got there, Bob?
What you got there, Bob?
What you got it out?
What's the song called?
I think it's...
Sucked another dick last night.
Yo, just his titles, bro.
Finger up my butt, dude.
There's so many good titles.
I think it's called...
I think it's called Eating Pussy and kicking ass.
Showing up to her right, though.
You guys got any titles today?
Yeah, been really fucking with this one,
a finger at my butt. I just can't.
I can't wrap my mind around it yet.
I might have to do a little song to give me some
inspiration. Yeah.
Man, that should be a
well-written song. Well-written song. Well-written song.
I think he writes all his own stuff, too. Do you write all your own
stuff? Yeah, a co-write. I mean,
a co-write a lot. Yeah, I write a mooch.
That's awesome. I'll tell you that that song is probably
better than most country music right now, I'd say.
There's some stuff out there.
There's some...
People could be...
I was on the phone the other day.
I would...
Morgan Wallin, dude.
Morgan Wall and Michael Hardy,
two of the fucking realist songwriter
singers out there right now, for real.
You said they're on tour right now, right?
They're on tour right now.
They're on tour right now.
They're opening for Florida Gorgelland.
Boys with them too.
Like, that's all a good career.
Everybody in fucking Big Loud camp
where I met all good folks,
like real music, good artist, all that shit.
And then, like, I said, me and Morgan and Hardy
just fucking, we get around each other
and it's a shit show.
We're fucking frogging each other.
their bruises are on our arms, concussions.
I love it.
Just a good time.
I love it.
Dude, I'm telling you.
My response is, yeah, I love it.
Don't even ask questions, dude.
Morgan traded licks for about an hour one night on his bus, and I swear, like, my arms were so sore.
Both of us had bruises on our arms the next day, and then the next time I was out, we ended up getting to a slap contest.
Just trading licks.
Dude's got brick hands.
Dude's got brick hands.
Dude's got brick hands.
Dude, I want to do a slap contest with him.
I've never done a slap.
Actually, I've done slap boxing.
I've never a slap competition.
Just the stand there and fucking trade licks.
You've seen the, what do they call that guy, bear?
The Russian bear.
The Russian bear.
The Russian bear?
That's some real deal of stuff, dude.
I don't want any of that.
I don't want that.
He's like, he was like 5'4, 250.
Like, he's not an intimidating looking figure.
Here we go, buses.
That dude's not an intimidating looking figure?
Dude, pull him up.
Pull him up.
I've seen him.
Look up, look up the Russian bear.
He just reaches back into.
Russian bear slap boxing knockouts.
He's, no, because he looks at.
He's a tank, no question about it, but he's 5.4.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if this dude was sick, look at him.
Dude, there's a lot of.
Look at him.
God.
Dude, look at the spotters.
What gets me as the spotters behind him?
Like, hey, get back in there.
The thing that's crazy.
What's the, what are the steroids of these people?
Genetic lab.
But this guy, this guy, he wins fights, and he doesn't even, like, he does even know he did go.
Yeah.
Like, he's, he slaps shit out and he wins, he wins, just like, look, the dog.
Da.
This dude is so Russian, dude.
This guy is from Chernobyl.
My favorite part is the spotters behind him.
Like, the dude is clearly knocked out.
Look, they're picking him up.
Like, hey, get back in the ring.
This guy's wearing a jacket.
And a scarf.
And put your hands on the thing.
Boom.
Nine-night.
Oh, whiplash.
He's on the ground.
Look at him picking him up.
Hey, can you go again?
Can you go again?
Okay.
Oh, he's done.
He's done.
Set him down.
No, he's like, no, I can do it.
I can do it.
Look, look, look at the people are there.
Look at the excitement in this Russian.
Hey, look at the guy.
He's like stumbling backwards.
He's like nervous.
He's like nervous.
Did I do good?
Did I do good?
Did I win?
Dude, he looks like, uh...
Dude's massive.
He looks like, uh, the boy.
Climb.
Josh Klein?
Yeah, he looks like Josh Klein.
Yeah, Josh Klein.
R-Ip.
The bear doesn't make a single facial expression.
Ever.
No, he doesn't.
I saw him getting a slapboxing with this like, this big, like, a power lifting type dude.
And he, what the fuck does this guy?
All right.
What is that?
Dude, I, I, I, I, I, uh, I, I, I, uh, slapboxing.
Isn't that Logan, is that Logan Paul?
That's one of the Paul boys.
Is he funny?
Nope.
Oh, he does.
He made his gig on Vine, man.
He did.
He got a gig.
People like him.
I don't think he's funny.
Well, he slapbox, he slapbox and got beat?
That's his little brother.
Oh, so you know all about these boys.
He's a big fan.
He's a big fan.
I seen him stuff on Vine.
He had some funny stuff in the produce section of a Kroger one time.
He printed to be a grape or something like that.
He got in big trouble.
With the Japan thing, the suicide deal.
He got in big trouble for that.
Just, hey, think about it.
You know?
Like, just two seconds.
Think about it.
Think about it.
Well, go ahead and film it.
But then think about it.
Hey, no.
Here we go.
Oh, dropped it.
Oh, that's full.
That's so fake.
Well, I'm standing like he did now.
That's so fake.
It's so fake.
I don't know, is it?
Dude, look at the size of him.
Dude, this guy is he's so fake.
That's just good acting.
This guy, how tall is Logan Paul?
I don't know, bro.
I don't know.
Three inches, four inches taller than will.
Like six one.
He might hit him on the button.
It doesn't matter.
I think he hit him on the button.
No way.
Dude, he's, if this guy wasn't paying attention and he'll hit in the button, you're asleep.
If you, but if you're staring at the guy, you know you're going to get hit.
That guy, look at the guy's the size of the guy's neck.
He's bigger than all three of our penises, like, width combined, dude.
He's huge.
But he's very disoriented.
Dude, he's faking it.
All right.
That was a great freeze frame.
That he was gone.
Maybe not.
Damn, that's wild.
What else we got to wrap this thing up?
We do.
You've got to wrap this thing up.
You played at Bonaroo?
Yeah, Bonneru last year.
That was crazy.
I'd never been to a music festival before.
And then got the call a couple months before it.
And it was like the first show of Bonaroo that day.
It was like, I guess, a Wednesday or Thursday.
And was it that tent?
And I was thinking, I was like, man, probably nobody's going to be here.
people were still like working yeah the place was fucking packed it was like really it's probably like
two thousand people under there and then as people were coming into bonneroo they were all like outside
the tent it was fun as shit like dude matt you love bonneroo don't you he goes every year matt goes
yeah matt goes all time go ahead get on there mad talk about it yep this is uh i think year eight
for me in a row in a row solid flex wasn't it just a couple weekends ago i did not go this year yeah
i just now got over it who played i just now got over it uh Gambier
Oh, yeah, great.
Childish Gambino.
There's a bunch of other ones.
Yeah, okay.
Gambino was the only one that matters.
He said, uh,
Post-you-alone.
Okay, there you go.
Post-Blon's sold him.
Yeah.
Post-Blon's been on our podcast before.
Has he?
No.
No.
We, uh, we, uh, we, uh,
I was like,
did we lose the tapes?
No, we haven't.
No, we wanted to film yours first.
Okay, cool.
Fair enough.
Mattie, is it true that, like,
Bonner was kind of gone downhill a little bit?
Like, I heard, like, three years ago they had,
like Eminem and Rihanna and stuff and now they got
like
Ernest K.
You beat me to it.
You know jawline happened motherfucker
Oh my god.
Damn it. Yeah no they've got
they actually fucking had Eminem the same year
I was there. Dude. Two years ago.
So I got the fucking artist pass to go
see Eminem. Did you meet him?
No. Dude, we were
sitting in the VIP like family only
like front of house for like Anderson Pock all that and then about when M&M came on stage
they like his they had to clear that whole thing out it's like you had to have an extra
M&M crew pass that's when you know like yeah you're M&M he doing something different
hey Ernest hey Ernest stand there this uh uh 8 mile poster yeah we saw you so we can't
hey rabbit hey rabbit yo hey rabbit dude i mean M&M that was another to the space jam soundtrack and
banjo i got a mix CD in the fourth grade with
with like 20 M&M songs on it, dude.
Curtain Call?
Dude, it was Curtain Call.
It had some of the LP on it.
And then, like, I just remember,
ass like that was one of my favorite ones
in, like, fourth grade.
And like I said, super conservative,
church of Christ,
don't cuss, don't drink parents.
And I'm in the back of my mom's Pontiac minivan
with my little fucking CD player and headphones.
CD Walkman?
Yeah.
And I'm fucking, you got to ass like that.
And she hears it coming through the fucking headphones.
She was like, what are you listening to?
I was like, just a CD.
She was like, put it in here, let me hear it.
Oh, no.
She pulled that thing out, snapped it, threw it out the window.
And that was the day I knew I too wanted to rap.
If I can make somebody feel this much just from words,
I'm like, damn it, I won't do that.
I just don't understand me.
Man.
Well, man, hey, let me tell you something.
I didn't know you four days ago.
and I'm so happy I got to meet you.
I'm happy to meet you guys.
This is a great time.
Thank you guys for having me on.
We've got to have you on again.
Bring your boy Morgan Wallin.
Morgan Wallin.
He wants to do it for sure.
Yeah, dude.
I called him.
Yeah.
And he flexed on me saying he was in Canada on tour.
And I said, all right.
Yeah.
I was like, when do you get back?
He's like July 25th.
It's like, well, I'm in camp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll do it in January.
Do it in January.
Or we'll just co-host him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys can't go for it.
I mean, I didn't get picked up.
I didn't get picked up this fall either.
I'd be happy to get on the fucking show and do more.
Pro football players.
Couple of want to be pro football players.
Listen to a podcast.
That'd be fun, Will?
That's great, dude.
Hey, guys, it's us.
The Jonas Brothers.
I'm Joe.
I'm Kevin.
And I'm Nick.
And guess what?
We created our own podcast called,
Hey, Jonas.
We invented a podcast?
Well, we didn't invent it.
We just contributed to it.
We're the first people to do podcasts.
We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and
tired of being asked questions.
Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know,
tired and sick.
Tired and sick.
Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Just listen.
We don't care where you hear it.
Another podcast from some SNL late-night comedy guy, not quite.
Unhumor me with Robert Smigel and Friends.
Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.
This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer Streeter Seidel, help an acapella band
with their between songs banter.
Where does your group perform?
We do some retirement homes.
Those people are starving for banter.
Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends
on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
What's up, fam? It's Isaiah Thomas.
And I'm C.J. Toledano.
It's our favorite time of the year
on our podcast point game, the playoffs.
We're digging into the biggest surprises of the season,
and I'm looking back on some of my greatest playoff moments.
If we didn't talk ever again, I was hungry.
You just understood.
That's how personal again.
at. Wow. Then after that game seven,
Mark keep coming to you. He's like, you know, I love you,
dog. You know, it's all love. This was just playoffs.
This was just basketball.
So listen to Point Game on the IHeartRadio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
