Bussin' With The Boys - Tom Segura Talks His Friendship With Bert Kreischer + His Start In Comedy

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Recorded: July 6th 2023 | The boys are back and take us on a journey is this intro. If you are watching the video version, you will see that Taylor has gotten a new haircut, so the boys talk about why he decided to switch it up. They then get into their weekend and what they did for Taylor's birthday. They talk about how they got a bitt banged up and had a little bit of a boys night by reflecting on life and just being very in the moment during that night. It's a very funny and interesting convo to see how their brains were working. Following the intro, the boys sit down with legendary comedian, Tom Segura. The guys get right into some football talk as Tom is a MASSIVE college football fan. He played in high school and tells a hilarious story about how he almost played in college. Tom also has some crazy stories of Ndamokung Suh that Will is able to confirm or deny. After football talk, the guys dive into Tom’s comedy career. He tells his journey from doing funny videos in college to realizing that comedy is the path he wants to take in life. Tom shares what the feeling of blowing up is like and his path from doing little theaters to massive arenas. He also gets into the benefits of using or not using a streaming platform to promote your comedy. Will and Taylor of course ask Tom about his best friend and one of the boys, Bert Kreischer. Tom gets into who has the better work ethic between the two of them which is a tough question to ask. At the end, Tom lists his top 3 pet peeves he has of Bert. All 3 are hilarious as Tom has a perfect Bert impersonation and is something you won’t want to miss. Tap in boys. 1:05 Taylor’s new haircut 2:10 Will and Taylor were banged up for his birthday 21:30 Shout out no free shoutout 36:55 Twisted Tea Question - Would you rather 55:00 Tier talk 1:03:44 Our universal Pet Peeve 1:04:45 Tom Segura preview 1:06:25 TOM SEGURA INTERVIEW STARTS 1:07:14 New York is a wild spot 1:10:39 Tom is a massive college football guy and almost played in college 1:17:53 Best spots Tom has seen while on tour and Ndamokung Suh stories 1:24:03 Taylor’s trash talking vs other guys trash talking 1:32:05 How older guys stay in the league 1:42:23 How Tom started in comedy 1:52:22 How it feels realizing you’re starting to blow up 1:54:01 Do comics want other comics to do well 1:55:37 How do you not steal jokes 1:59:43 What’s the benefit of being on a streaming platform 2:00:36 Shane Gillis special on Youtube 2:05:02 Shane told Tom about Beer Olympics 2:08:59 Did he ever want to do SNL/sketch comedy 2:11:17 Tom wrote and produced a show with his own money 2:12:38 How has he learned to build out everything he has 2:17:54 Who has a better work ethic: Tom or Bert 2:21:48 Tom’s 3 pet peeves about Bert 2:29:10 Tom’s new special “Sledgehammer” ----- SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS Chevy: Head to https://barstool.link/ChevyBarstool and check out Silverado and all the Chevy Trucks Twisted Tea: Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today at http://twistedtea.com/LOCATIONS Whistle Pig: Grab yourself a bottle of WhistlePig Whiskey, and kiss your work day goodbye this Friday RYEday at https://shop.whistlepigwhiskey.com/?utm_source=barstool&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=bussinwiththeboys Duke Cannon: You have to try Duke Cannon, so for a limited time, we’re hooking The Boys up with 20% off your first order at DukeCannon.com with code “THEBOYS20” Sport Clips: Sport Clips. It’s a Game Changer. At participating locations. Offer ends July 31st, 2023. https://barstool.link/SportClipsBSS BodyArmor: Buy BODYARMOR Now on Amazon!For more, visit barstool.link/bussinwtbSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, it's us The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.

We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from. some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and Friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bob Odenkirk to David Letterman help make you funnier. This week, my guest, SNL's Mikey Day and head writer, Streeter Seidel,

help an a cappella band with their between songs banter. Where does your group perform? We do some retirement homes. Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and Friends on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal but encouraged. It's the enhanced games.

Some call it grotesque. Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast's Superhuman documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome. You get to another episode of Bussing with the Boys. Episode 233. We're just out here doing them, boys. We're just out here fucking hitting pods once week right now.

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Chevy.com to check, head out, head, well, hit. Head over to Chevy.com and check out Silverado and all the Chevy trucks, the official trucks of Bustin with the boys. Hey, if the Chevy Silverado was a haircut, it might be Taylor. I'm telling you. I was about to say, too. A couple slip-ups, but overall, like it felt like your reading was way. Yeah, but we also shot that ad last week and essentially that ad was what we did. No, no, no. That's, except the compliment, brother. Yeah, you're right. I think it's because you cut the mullet off. Mollet might have made you dumber. Maybe. You know what I think it is too? I got to give a big quick shout to Paw Patrol.

There's some five-minute stories in there. I read the five-minute stories in like 12 minutes, but I've been reading to my daughters. Skies out here flying a helicopter and a whole bunch of stuff. So, you know, Popatrol has got me working out here. Pop- Patrol has got my ass working. I'll tell you what. It looks, I mean, that was a great move.

It was a great move. I like the mola for a bit of time, but I think it had ran its course. And you show me the before and after, and it is. Yeah, our weekend. Night and day. The reaction of you watching those two videos, was it looked like your mind literally was blown.

Hey, you were, whoa. Hey, play it back. I was like, hey, it's just a haircut. Yeah, we were, yeah. But I do appreciate it. The boys, I mean, my birthday was essentially me hanging out my kids. And then late in the afternoon, Will and his family came over. And his family left. And then me and Will just got bang the fuck up.

Yeah. And got into a weird, we hit some fucking Twilight Zone type shit. It was amazing. It was so amazing. We, at one point I was like, oh, we got to go. We got to go, you know, take care of the. goats. So we're walking up the driveway and we're like having, we're like talking. We're like, we're like in something. You know, you're playing the circle game. You're like figuring

something out. We stop and I was like, we got to, we have to have a hug right here. In the middle of the dark driveway, he goes, we got to have a hug right now. 11 p.m. And literally, I'm thinking to myself, that's exactly what we got to do. That is 100% what needs to happen right now. Big and brace hog, we literally pull your scaps apart and try to wrap as much as you can around the individual. individual. Yeah. Fucking hands spread as far apart as possible to let them know, hey, we're both safe

right now. Yeah. Dog, it was a magical night. I was like, this is going to be one of those nights. Like, we're like 70 and old and we're going to look back and this is going to like be in our memory. And I go, we got to have a hug right now. So I feel like that'll encapsulate the entire moment.

And we're just breaking shit down, dude. It was cool. It was literally like, like, just to put like, we were watching, funny enough, we were watching 2015 Redskins versus, uh, Tampa Bay. Because Will and I start talking about quarterback, and Will's like, hey, you know, quarterback, that whole, you like that game and he starts going into it. I'll let you explain the whole situation that got us on that.

But like... Is that what you were about to ask how did it get there? Yeah. Yeah. So we started to get a little banged up. Banged up. And we were talking about, we were talking about Kirk and that game and something, Taylor was like, hey, Taylor brought back.

I was like, oh, Jay Reid came up into the equation. And then like McVeigh and then myself. And Taylor goes, Taylor goes, man, it is, it truly is wild that y'all had all those cats and, like, all those coaches, the coaching staff, because O'Connell was part of it at one point. And you guys didn't get, like, out of the first round of the playoffs. So I thought, that's my moment. I'm like telling Taylor, I was like, you know who also got his moment in that Tampa Bay game. We were down 24-0. You know who got his first shot.

That was your boy. So he's like, do you want to watch that game? And I was like, you start to get nervous. Like, damn, now we got to watch the game. And I was like, yeah, we can watch the game. throw it on. There was a bit of a pause for a little bit. I kind of got on my phone because I could feel it. And then like a minute later it was like,

yeah, throw it on, dude. No, look, you had to think about it for a second. There's a longer pause because then I start telling the story. I started elaborating on the entire thing. Oh, Doc, yes. Then we start talking some, you know, some drama. Yeah. Do you want to go into that?

Because legit, I was listening to that story and I was like, dude, you got to fucking tell that story. I think time and place for it. Time and place. I don't think now is the time. Obviously, birthday, I end up getting you, So where we're watching old 2015, you know, we're watching the boy out there spin a little bit, but also fail.

And I was like, you know when a play's happening? I was like, man, I really don't want this one to come on. Yeah. I was like, okay, we can watch it. But there's one play where I miss a tackle in the hole, draw play. And I was like, that one's things. That was like, you didn't really say it. And then I was live for a second.

He goes, yo, I really think there's a draw play coming up. And it was literally the next play. I was like, oh, that's it. Oh, that's it right there. I thought the funny one was when that dude was running. He kind of crossed you up. about that one, bro. I started running.

I was like, hang on now, I'm out there. Jason is that. He's the only one who's going to be able to make this play. Yeah. And then once he spun me around, I was like, God damn, I forgot that before. Dude, it was nuts. But literally, while we're watching that game, it's eight years ago. And on the ticker, it's like, the main thing that kept coming up was Tennessee

versus the Falcons. And I'm like, bro, we lost that fucking game. And I remember, like, then they start showing highlights of Tennessee versus the Falcons. It was like, just nuts. So Will and I are now in the same. spin zone of like, it's crazy that we're sitting together. Don't know each other.

We're starting to get to the peak of being banged up. We're like sitting together and we're watching both of us, kind of watching Will Play and then you can see parts of like, oh, I know I'm in a game at this exact moment. And we're not thinking of each other. We don't know each other and how our like timelines have parallel gone and then slowly like just come together. We had no clue bustle what the boys was going to come about a few years later.

And JP, you know who the running back was that year for Washington? Matt Jones. Dude. Will Bobner, you were doing shit for him. Yeah, I started telling Taylor, I was like, you know what's crazy too?

Like, maybe since JP was just shooting Matt Jones, like he had a relationship with him. Like, maybe he's watching this game somewhere, like just rooting for Matt Jones. Like, JP's watching the game. You're, uh, I'm out here playing this game right here. You're Tennessee with that.

You know, G and Jack are probably watching the Titans, like watching the Falcons game. Because you guys, they had came back. You were up for a while. Third quarter, they ended up taking the lead, and you lost a close one. And, uh, or it's like, man,

you had no clue, like the whole spot was going to come together, like, years later. And then you start getting to where you're, like, leaned up and you're like, bro, isn't this shit just wild? It was fucking nuts. And then, like. Rashad Matthews is who on what team? The dolphins? Yeah, he's in the dolphins at that point.

We're like seeing all these big dames, but they're playing for other teams. It's like, man, all these guys are on different teams now. And it's like, man, they were really fucking doing it back then. And then somebody else popped up and I don't know if it was, it was Lockett, maybe. And Robert Woods. And you're just like, man, these guys been these cats been. Which was on Buffalo. Lockett was still obviously on Seattle and you're like, damn.

Like, they've really been like that for a long time. And then I'm like, then we get back to when we're little. And I was like, man, look at us. But hold on. Not even that point yet because I was sitting in the chair. Will was sitting on my couch. And then eventually we're both sitting on the couch like real fucking close. And then we start talking about, we start talking about something else like,

oh, I showed him. We, uh, Will like just leaned up basically and complimented my hair. And I was like. He's like, it's crazy. And then we start talking about glowups and stuff like that. And then we like, I brought up Bricernerner, something's burning. Yeah, you showed me the before and after. And that's when in real time.

And your mind is like legit blown. And I'm like, yo, is it really that? And he's like, dog. It's crazy. I was like, you had a glow up from losing your weight with the mullet. And then you just had a glow up on top of a glow up. And I'm dead serious. You guys know.

Hey, and now we all usually is mouth open. I'm mouth open like, oh, fuck. That's crazy. I was like, look at this. I was like, even your. jaw. I was like, dog, you had a glove on top of the top of the top of the top of the top of the I need to hear. You know me boys. Like, I'm always searching for that jaw. And he's like,

he's like, man, we start watching like something that's burning that was burning with Bert Kreischer. Because that was like five months ago. Literally in February. And Ted's like, bro, even you look different. I was like, man, this shit is really wild. And we're like literally watching something from eight years ago. Will playing a football

game eight years ago. It's still on the screen. And we're on my little ass phone. Watching like something from five months ago. We're like, yo, it's crazy that the football game that was eight years ago seems like it was like sooner than something that was five months ago and look how different we both look

because there's a couple of zoom ups on Will's face and you could see him smile a couple times and you're like bro like just everything was so different just so fucking different and we were just like it's just crazy it's just a nuts experience and then Taylor goes

yeah it's like we could go back to any one of these moments like tomorrow and not miss a beat and I was like yes bro that's how I knew we were kind of on the same wave lengthen on and then I ended up that's when we started to go back far I go bro isn't it nuts I was like we're sitting here I was like we're in this empty house like we might not ever get this moment again and I like like I literally said what you're talking about first first emotion that comes to mind is

fear so I was like yeah I feel you I said that but I'm like but also this is one of those moments you have to appreciate I was like man think about it I'm like we're having like an old school high school like an old throwback high school night or it's just us hanging out watching like old stuff and we're kind of like reminiscent but also being excited about the future, things like that. I said, I mean, you only really do that with your boys. Like, you think back on times back in middle school and high school when you're having those sleepovers. Everybody's asleep. You're staying up late watching stuff. I was like, the wife's gone. My wife's back home. The kids are put down. It's just me and you. And I was like,

and we never really had a. We weren't friends in high school. And I was like, we're getting new experience all this. Like, we're getting to like have a big like build moment of like growth. And I was like, I was like, you know, you just have stuff imprinted on your mind. I was like, you go back to the rugs, back when you play with the cars and you. You start like envisioning your life of what you want to be. You know the rugs, like in elementary school that had like the towns on it. Yeah. And then it had like the letters all around it like A through Z around the rug.

And it's like, yo, we both played on that. Yeah. But we didn't know each other. Yeah. Well, like we were doing it. I go, I go, dog, like I don't know how it came up, but the brave little toaster came to mine. I'm so glad you brought that up. And I was like, dog, brave little toaster.

Taylor's like searching. She's like, should we watch it? I was like, yeah, throw it on. Like the first, let's watch the first five minutes of this thing. And look, he when we. put it on. We're like, is this the movie? Yeah. I don't know because at first we got to have he goes, I have a memory of like, kind of it seemed

like a little like dark and ominous and I was like, dog, me too. Yes. I was like that was truly brave little toaster was probably the first movie I watched like amongst a group like at daycare school, like your first movie you kind of watch around people you don't really know so you're kind of watching the movie and remembering how it kind of gives you that dark ominous feeling.

It was dude, we popped it on when legit, we're just like it's crazy that at one point, Will and I are probably sitting there watching this movie at the same time not knowing each other completely across the country and now we're fucking here. Because I said the way you looked on something is burning the mustache and how you were thicker and stuff. I go, you remind me of some

character off like, you ever seen the brave little toaster? Yes. And we were like, yo, we got to put that on. And then lo-key in the background, the movies just playing. We go get the goats, that big hug happened. And then we went into a wormhole of like how wild it is, how present we are in this moment. Yeah. And it's like very rarely. Like at one point we're like, we're not even thinking about how late it is,

how we had to get up in the morning, we got kids. Like, we're just like here in this moment. And it was like, it was like everything that was said, even the fear thing. When we was like, we might never be here again. And I was like, yo, my first emotion of that is fear. And he's like, yeah, but. And I was like, the minute you said, but I felt way better. And he just worked it out for me.

It was so funny. Because I literally at one point I was like I go check on when my oldest daughter. Because she was having a little sleepover because mom was gone. And so I go in the room, this little motherfucker, dude, waited for me to leave and grabbed the iPad. And she's watching Smurfs on it. And I'm like, it's 10.30 at night. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? She's like, looks at me with a shit eating grin.

Like, I got your ass. And I'm like, I'm banged up. And I'm like, yo, you really got me. And then we talked for a minute. And it was like, the whole time I'm thinking, if I stay here too long, I'm going to lose the moment over there. And then I finally get her situated. She goes to bed. She's like, hey, when?

He's like, hey, when he's like, I'm going to be back. I'm going to come back soon. So I, like, opened my door, you know, like my little pivot door to my master, I opened it up, and I closed the door and no joke. I was like, I don't even remember going back to the man cave. I was like, just back in the man cave. Like, I was just like, yo, we're here now. He was like, my bad. And I said, I said, no, that helped me out because I now I feel like I'm able to articulate some of this a little bit more.

No, it was nuts. Honestly, I don't know what I'm trying to say. Like, I feel something, but I just don't, I don't think I can put it in the words. Yeah. And then we legit got there. I forget what the conclusion was now. I forget too. But we fucking got there, dude.

And we're like, yo, this is one of those moments where like, we get to sit here and like, we'll remember this. You remember that time at the house, like, just hanging out? Because life happens. It's like literally, it's a core moment. It's a core, like the fucking movie. Inside out.

Inside out, dude. No, we have one of those little blue balls. That's a yellow ball. It's definitely a yellow ball. And that motherfucker, it goes in the little sphere that allows us to be like, we can pull that shit whenever we want to. That thing's here. It's not a fleeting thought anymore.

That thing is there for fucking ever. And then we started talking about some cool shit about like the whole Johnny Knoxville thing. Yeah. Yeah. Some good perspective stuff. And we ended up in the kitchen eating all the cold stone ice cream cake that I brought up. Which Will fucked me over with my kids, dude. It's literally like 7 o'clock.

Like my kids, they need to go down soon. They're hyped up and will. I'm like, all right, guys, we got to go to bed in five minutes. And this is before. We just got to eat. A lot's been going on. Dylan and Rue's come over to get like suits because Taylor, obviously he's lost weight. So he's like, you guys can like, uh, y'all can have these.

Yeah, y'all can take your pick of the suit. So dinner and everything was getting pushed back. Your boy, I get some ribbyes going, you know, make some potatoes, like making dinner and all that. So then it was fire, by the way. Then it ultimately, it's like it's me, Charo, Rue, Winn, Willow, Taylor. And it is like, like, past Taylor's like wanting them to go down at like 645. It's probably like 715 at this point. And I'm thinking, like, I still got the. that ice cream cake.

We haven't sang Taylor, happy birthday and stuff like that. And I know Taylor's wanting to put him down. But I just think to myself and just make the decision myself. I'm like, man, we've got to sing happy birthday to Taylor. Like, nobody, we haven't sang happy birthday to them. That's not exactly what you said to me. But, yeah, I know Taylor's going to be pissed. I do this because he wants them to go down.

And also, like, I'm bringing out ice cream cake right before they're going down. So not only is he going to be pissed, like, I know he's going to say, like, hey, we'll eat this tomorrow. But then it's going to create a, you know, a shitstorm a little bit. But also, this is a, this is. were like that cool fun uncle like a move that you just do to your boy like I'm gonna do this to him. Yeah. So I go, I look

in the fridge, I open it up, I go, but guys we have ice cream cake and then I was like, happy. Before we we can react, start singing. Happy birthday. We all start singing. I was like, let's eat this guys. And it says like, no, we got to go to bed next thing. You know, Willow's just fucking like losing her

fucking mind. And Taylor's just like holding her looking at me. It's like backing up. Yeah. Like this, you and I have to deal with this. Because my three-year-old, like, when you can negotiate with her. My three-year-old, like, negotiating with her is, like, she's so strong-willed. And I literally tell her, I literally tell her face, like, you're going to, this is going to make you so successful someday, getting what you want.

I'm so proud that this is here. Right now, it's a fucking issue. Like, we got a problem. I had to deal. And then she was overtired the next day because she was up, fighting about that fucking cake. And I'm overtired because we're up until whatever. And I got to negotiate with the child the whole day, which will bring me to my pet peeve later in this show. But anyway, let's talk about it.

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promo code Bustin B-U-S-S-I-N to receive 20% off and always free shipping. So yeah, Will really fucked me over on all that All that shit, dude. But what a fucking night it turned out to be. It was a great night. It was a great night. It won a whole lot going on. I basically had two of my buddies came over and ransacked my whole entire closet.

They're fired up and I'm excited to see them in some of the fits that I wore. It's because it can be funny as shit. We need to get like a side-by-side if I can find it. Taylor's birthday is serving his teammates as suits, giving away his stuff to other people and watching Will Compton highlights. Yeah. I'm a giver, dude. I'm a giver, dude.

But I got a lot out of that as well. It was awesome. And it's so weird, like, because we were having this conversation on Thursday or even Friday. It was Friday when I was trying to figure out. And Will was, like, hit me with like, hey, what are we doing for your birthday? And low-key, my favorite part of a birthday is when somebody misses my birthday.

So I can be like, yo, you forgot. What's the deal? I was on the phone with Nick Bennett. And he calls me on Saturday, which is my birthday. And we're talking for like 20 minutes. I'm like, hey, before we go any further, it's my birthday today. All good.

You forgot. He had, like, he started, well, you know, I was waiting for the right time and all this shit. But I love it. And also, dude, like these last seven months of Bustin, like, we've been celebrating every fucking day. So I go, I want to celebrate my birthday. I feel like I've been celebrating the whole year of 2023. Yeah, Taylor was giving me that speech.

And I'm just sitting there like with a very like, I don't believe you. Because I was like, Taylor, you're definitely the type you've already explained. Like, you want, it either doesn't happen and then you have it over their head that they don't do it. I'm truly, genuinely asking you, what are you trying to do? Because I know, like, Taylin left on Saturday to go to Italy. And I was like, I know nothing's like playing. Like, what are you feeling and trying to do? He's like, man, I kind of just want to chill.

I was like, are you, do you truly want to chill? And he's like, yeah, I mean, if you want to come over and swim and then it was like, you know, get the cake, get the stakes. What do you want? What's the birthday boy? Well, I was like, what's my little birthday boy when I see your, I was like, I got my haircut on Friday. And Alan was like a shout out the boy Alan. and culture culture, right? Culture cuts.

Culture Nashville, I think it's called. Okay. And he was like, Taylor's coming tomorrow at 245. So then I'm texting Taylor. I was like, hey, I see the birthday boy's getting himself a little haircut. I was like, what's he want to eat? I was like, you want smash burgers? You want steaks?

He's like, if it's my pig, steaks, I was like, well, done, bro. I went to get that haircut at 245. I brought both my kids. It was funny as hell. Like, you could tell the people that didn't have kids. And like, my oldest daughter literally found like the little, when you get like your hair shampooed, at the place to get your haircut

and she grabs that little handle and looks back at me and I'm like, when, no. Sprits her sister right in the face. I'm like, yo, what are we doing? Thankfully, Alan, who owns Culture Nashville, he's got a one and a half year a little boy.

And he's like, dog, if this was two years ago, I'd probably be like, yo, what the fuck's going on? But he's like, because I have kids, I totally get it. My daughter's like opening the fridge and putting Willow in it and pretending she's a drink.

She's like, I'm thirsty. I want a drink. And she kind of wadles over there and opens it up and will have this shit and grid on her face. like, yo, this, hey, I'm a drink. And I'm just thinking, yeah. Like, we pet the cactus.

The cactus is fake. I'm like, it'll poke you. And he's like, nah, it's all good. I'm like, all right, pet the fucking cactus, dude. But they were ripping around. I'm thinking to myself, we got to hurry this haircut up. He ripped it up, though. Got done in 20 minutes.

So Culture Nashville. Shout out, no free shout out to them. That being said, should we hit shoutout, no free shout out? We ready? Yeah. You boys, who in the back wants to do it? Go ahead, JP. My shout out, no free shoutout.

Goes to when you're traveling somewhere. and you got to pull up the GPS and you see that yellow or maybe red traffic. And then you get to that spot, you're like, man, this is really about to suck. But Apple hasn't updated their maps yet and there actually is no traffic. So you just cruise right through. It's one of the best feelings ever. The great feeling of relief. If you're on a road trip and it says hazard ahead and then literally it asks you like, hey,

is the hazard clear? And you think, I'm not helping you out though. I'm not going to press that okay. But you just wait for the thing that go out. I just showed you with my work that it's not there anymore. I take a different approach. You press okay? Yeah.

What a guy. You're still something there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do that. I'll do that too. But yeah, they're still. I feel like I'm actually doing a service to me, man. Especially like if there's a cop one coming up.

The cop one is. Or it's like a speed thing going on. And you're like, let me try and find out for everybody else. Right. Looking around. No, we're clear. We're clear. Hey.

Clear. Clear. Hey, that was a wild conversation, too. That was a wild conversation. Who else got the shout, enough for a shout-out? I have one, and it goes along with iPhones. And correct me if someone has used this,

I don't think they have. But I'm shouting out the greatest Apple feature that's ever been created, and it is when you get a verification code and you have to type it in on a different app, and it suggests the code, so you don't have to copy and paste it. It just immediately,

there. And just that little bit of convenience sometimes saves you from just going over the edge. Shout out to the best Apple feature. I don't know what it's called, but I think we all know what I'm talking about. Yeah, absolutely. That is a nice little deal. It is nice. I was sitting on my

computer this weekend. And I'm fucking going through all my emails and the passwords and stuff like that. I barely know my passwords. But when you would get the auto fill, I go to log into like YouTube. or Twitter or Instagram, any of that shit.

And it goes, auto fill for this email address and you just press it. It's kind of like the same thing. You're like, thank God, bro, because I was literally about to fuck up my day, low key. That was what to turn into a pet peeve. I have a question. Do you guys ever use the suggested password that Apple gives you? No. Me neither.

I get so scared. I'm like, there's no way I'll ever remember this. Unless I'm just on my phone. I always feel like I'm in some high, some high stress alert situation where I'm trying to like hack in this. something or somebody's going to kill you. And I'm like, I'm not going to be able to find this. So, you know, I choose my own. Hell yeah, dog.

That's always been a thought of mine. I'm like, man, do people use these? Because these are fucking crazy. A bunch of shit. There's no way you have to put it on a sticky note. Low key you should put it on your phone. But then it's like that defeats the purpose of. That's the thing, though.

I feel like it saves your phone. But if you happen to be again on a computer, like trying to get out of something, you're not going to remember it. I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah. Mitchie. Shout, Nuffrey shout out.

My shout, I know if you shout out this week. Again, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know if anybody's used it. It's just going for a drive. Just driving around town, especially in a new city. Not that I'm like new here anymore, but like still kind of exploring around different areas. Just putting your music on, putting your windows down. A little just road therapy.

Just letting your thoughts be your thoughts and just kind of put your hand out the window, let your hand like ride and stuff. Just let the air take you. Yeah. And just kind of put on some music. Just turn it up a little bit and just vibe for a little bit and just enjoy your time by yourself, just driving around. That's a solid shout out, no free shoutout. Garrett, do you have one this week?

I do have one this week. Yeah, right? My shout-out, no-free shout-out is going to go to the people at PLL for having my brother and I in Louisville this weekend. It's a pretty cool experience. Never really seen like that high level of competition, like in person. especially being from Tennessee. So that was cool to experience.

They were great. Good host. Got to watch it all in the field. Yeah, it was a good time. Shout out them. When you were watching the PLL, did you think, I can get out there and do that, no problem? It is funny because you do think, like,

I mean, they're not that much bigger than us. Yeah. But they're definitely, like, their skill is just like... It handles like crazy. Handles are crazy. And for an All-Star game, you know, they're always, like, fucking around. So some of the like skip passes and shit like that are just like no lookers.

It's it was impressive. There's a skill competition and the fastest shot was like 121 miles an hour. And that seeing that like that close was like I would never play goalie. Do you ever scrape three digits? No. No, no shot. No. I think I touched 90 like once.

What a feeling that was I bet. Yeah. It was pretty cool. That's a shout out for not knowing anything about the PLL. That's a solid shot. Yeah. It was good. It was a good time.

Good event. Willie. Uh-oh. Go me go? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. My shout-and-no-free shout-out goes to, we're obviously on the conversation of nostalgia and stuff like that.

My shout-and-free shout-out goes to getting your own seat on the school bus in high school. If you can get your own seat, and I was one of the last, every time I took the bus, I was one of the last cats before, like, you get to the school, the one of the last stops.

And you get on there, and it's like usually, you know, a couple of the smelly kids or a couple of, you know, the thicker kids were kind of by themselves hogging up all the chair and you would never really get that. But that opportunity you get,

whether it's middle of the pack, back, the pack, front of the pack, whatever. And there's a seat all by itself. Like, you're just kind of, that's the limousine of a bus ride. It's a phenomenal feeling. You kick the knee up. Fucking look around a little bit,

hang out, get a couple conversations. You got more mobility to look around. It's a solid fucking feeling. with the back to the window Yeah, 100% It's on everything Yeah, you got one leg up And you kind of talk to me

Hey yo, and you just kind of You can talk to anybody You just feel cool Would you have that posture going Yeah Yeah, it's a great day A couple guys asked you question You're like, yeah, you know

Yeah It is what I'm saying though Yeah, like you know And like you know And but if you're sitting there like this Having a conversation Like it's a little beta It's a little beta

You're trying to like Yeah Oh yeah Yeah It's just somebody behind too Who's like want your attention, you kind of do the longer slow turn. Yeah.

See that little halftime. What's up, man? I can't turn my neck like that. But yeah, that's my shoutout, no free shout-out. I got a couple questions because I'm nervous that these have been used before. Well, just do it. Have, has leftovers been shouted out? Absolutely.

I think it was you, too. Really? I'm not, I legitimately think it was you. About sandwiches. Leftovers have, like, when you don't have none to eat, you open that fridge and you got that, oh shit, I forgot about this. How about movies on TV? Like hotel movies?

Yeah, he said it. What was the shout-out, G? No the rules. Appreciate that. Mine was when you're flipping through channels and you catch a movie on TV at the beginning. You know what I'm talking about? Okay. What do you got?

Mine was going to be on the TV one because, again, I have another one that I had done over the weekend. But mine was going to be on the movie aspect, the movie front is like, when you, You just, you plop down on the couch. You're just mindlessly watching TV. You don't really know what you want to watch, but there's just a movie on or a show on that helps make that selection for you that you're kind of fired up about. You know, that's the next thing you're going to do for the next hour.

Versus be on a show and you're flipping around, like, I'm not really feeling. I'm not feeling this. But when you see that movie, you're like, man, I didn't see this in a minute. Like, let's fucking watch this. There might only be 30 minutes left, but you're going to enjoy that next 30 minutes because the TV decided for you. I think that's a great one. All right.

But I have a question to follow that up. Go ahead. Have you watched Troy yet? No, that's tough. I know. I was hoping that was going to be the movie. Yeah. Yeah.

That's low-key. A shout-off for another day, but I have not watched Troy, and that does seem like a movie that needs to be kind of like a core value in my life. Since we're on the subject of movies, has anybody seen Oppenheimer yet? No, I keep seeing it being talked about. Is it like that? I see my guy from Begu Blinders is in it. I saw something that said this might be the best movie that you.

year by far, and it might be one of the better movies so far up this century. Openheimer? Yes. Oh, you've seen it? No, no, that's something I saw. How did you say it? Oppenheimer. It's Oppenheimer?

It's Oppenheimer? Openheimer? But yeah, like, I heard it's like, it's really like that. Yeah, but like Barbie is also, like, if I say Oppenheimer, you're like, what is Oppenheimer even mean? If I say Barbie to you, everyone knows what Barbie. Yeah. And Margo Robby's in it.

Ryan Gosling's in it. I saw like a clip of Barbie being like, I'll beat you off right here. oh, we'll have a beach off. I'll beat you off of both hands. Like, they were like puns like that. And I thought, it's kind of funny. Toeing the line? Yeah, toe in the line a little bit.

But, like, I would see the movie. Because you're trying to in K. I mean, you're basically like... But like, Oppenheimer, I don't even know what the fucking movie's about. But I look at it and I'm like, what's it about? The first atomic bomb.

The making of it, right? I know the end of the movie already. Dead Nation. Apparently, when the bomb goes off in the movie, it is the last... I mean, that's not like a spoiler. Okay. That's history.

But when it does, it's the loudest, the theatrical experience in history. Like, it is the loudest moment in a movie that you can experience thus for. People are saying, like, have you seen the IMAX, which Nashville, one of 19 true IMAX theaters in the whole country, we are lucky enough to have it. So if you go see Oppenheimer, go to the Opera Mills, 70 millimeter IMAX, it's probably, insane. I see you just dropping information. We gotta do a little field trip before like Willie goes to Italy and stuff.

Well, the thing, it's the double feature. People are trying to do Barbenheimer, which they've been calling it, which is you see Barbie and Oppenheimer in the same day. And it's like six hours of cinema. So, and on two different spectrums, but I've heard great things about both.

A back-to-back movie is the fucking best. Back-to-back. I probably told this story before my mom would randomly take me out of school sometimes in like elementary school or middle school to say hey we're having a mental health day and we'd rip over and we go into a theater

finding Nemo or whatever it was and there'd be like another showing to whatever movie mom'd be like we can just sneak into that one can't we? And she would literally take me in there what's up? Oh we're gonna be aight we always gonna be aight but double movie feature is fucking

E-Lete brother. The Barbenheimer Yeah I'm sure we can go see it. You got money? You got money, bro. You can go see whatever you want. Craziest fact about the Oppenheimer movie, Ice be a camp counselor. And one of my kids in my cabin was like their middle school age. And his great granddad was the pilot of the plane that dropped the bomb.

And I don't know how true this is. The kid was 11 years old at the time. But the family like doesn't know. He definitely doesn't know much about him because he kind of like fell off after that. But apparently he didn't even know. to the extent of like what he was doing. Yeah. I mean,

I was like, God, that's dark. It is nuts. You almost don't want the pilot to know a kind of decision like that because then the like the human element can get in like, man, should I be doing this?

Apparently. God and country, friend. Yeah. The reason they really dropped it is as more of like a test. We had already come to a conclusion with Japan. And they were, we're supposed to drop it on Russia during like, I can't remember.

And then that's, settled out and then they just dropped it on Hiroshima and the main part is I forget the scientist who plays Killian Murphy in the movie or Killian Murphy plays him he was pushing so hard to drop it just because he spent like his whole life revolutionizing like the biggest war machine of all time

that we have to use it and then it like basically obliterated an entire generation of people and caused a lot of bad things to our environment in Japan, but we need to see it. Apparently, it'll rattle you. You know, history kind of fucks, dude.

History does fuck. I mean, it depends on what side of history you're on. I'm sure if you're in Hiroshima in the early 40s, that's not a dope history lesson. But history is fucking wild. Yeah. I'm watching Last Kingdom right now. I'm sure it's all fiction. No, it's based on...

Boys that you were out there just riding horses and shit and ripping around. Talk about the... Word of mouth, too. The forming of England. Yeah, but I think it's just crazy. Like, it's like obviously sitting in 2023 and then looking at these people being like, yo, we got to tell this person something

and they're across the country. Ride. How many days? Five days, yeah. It's like, we got to get there. And then hopefully you get there before somebody else does. Like in the beginning of the show, Utre does some badass shit. I'm not going to give anything up.

And they're like, hey, you got to go tell the king that you did this. Otherwise, somebody else is going to take credit for it. And he's like, no, because he's Utrud. He's like, I don't need that. And he fucking goes and does it. He doesn't do it. Somebody else takes the credit

and puts him in a fucking bind. Stories, dude. Story is all. Yeah. Oh, is it glory? It's destiny as all. Destiny is all. And, yo, shout out to the guy

who plays Utreet too because he becomes a much better actor the farther down the line. That just pissed me off, dude. Yo, what? Just messing up fucking Utrud's sign off? I fucked it up too. Glory is all.

That's a story. I know, but... Should we do the twisted question? Yeah. I thought the twisted question was for Seguera. No, no, no. Twisted question. We have the twisted question.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the twisted question. That's on me, dude. Let's talk about... We're twisted right now? Yeah. Twisted Kings. We're the Twisted Kings.

And this is the Twisted question, dude. My boss and beer company. I'll take it, Will. All right. Twisted tea is refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea. Real brewed tea with a kick.

5% and... A, B, V. Full flavor and refreshing. Goes down smooth. There's no carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long. Twisted tea. Twisted tea feels fun and celebrates extreme fandom on Game Day. Twisted tea is the perfect alcohol beverage for game day where they're tailgating in the parking lot, watching at the bar, watching with friends at home, Twisted Tea is there to turn up

your game day, dude. Keep it twisted. And that is from one of two twisted teas. Twisted Kings. Grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Our question today is going to come from Jack McPherson. Jack, what's our question? From JP. It's going to come from JP, hubby.

JP, what's our question? The question is also brought to you by my friend John Pettit that asked me this this weekend. Okay. But the question is, would you rather have the superpower to run every red light or you have the front row parking spot in any crowded parking lot wherever you go to? You drive in that parking lot? Somebody pulls out. It's a given every time.

Assuming zero. No accidents with the red light. It's the red light stuff. You're not drinking and driving either. Yes. You're right. You have drink responsibly. Yeah.

Yeah. Smart jack. That's next level thinking. Do you want to go first? You want me to go first? Go ahead. I think the answer is very simple here. You talk about how many times you get into a crowded parking lot and you're sitting there and you're wondering, man, what the fuck's going on?

I don't mind a couple extra steps during the day. I don't track them, but I do, I don't mind it. So if I need to go find a little place, in the back, it is what it is. For me, if you're able to run every red light possible and never get hit, never have the worry of like, I'm going to fuck some shit up, maybe somebody else that's in a car accident or something like that,

the amount of time you're going to save is you're taking off so many minutes a day, so many hours a week, possibly years if we're really coming down to it. And that is time that you can never get back. That is my answer. It's going to be the red light. I disagree. Mine is going to be parking spot.

I, you know, especially if you're at an arena, you're a big event, anything like that, a game, whatever the case may be. You get that front row parking spot at absolutely everything. Everywhere you go, I'm taking that every now and then I don't mind those extra shots. But if I just get to mitigate that and get the freaking front row parking spot, I'm taking that. I feel like with the red light, I don't mind stopping every now and then. I think we've lost sight of what patience looks like. and I think when you stop because we want to ever, we always want to get to where we're going fast.

We always want to, you know, be first, like not take the time to smell the roses a little bit. I don't mind and not slow stop at the red light every now and then. So I'm going to go with parking spot. I think if you're looking at efficiency and life, you want to have patience, brother. Go sit on the couch and enjoy yourself for a second. You're going to get there a whole lot faster with the red light.

You brought up big arenas. You talked about big events. Not a whole lot like, brother, you put yourself in a position where most of the big events you go to, you're getting that, you know, through the hallway entrance, back door, under tunnels type shit, where you're getting there real fast. There's probably a little security with you sometimes. I'm thinking about Vegas, 290, Shane Gillis, they took us in that little kitchen over there ripping us around, right? If we were driving to that, well, you're in and out pretty fast. With the red light, I'm talking about more time with the family.

I'm talking about more time with the boys, more time doing what you love most. And that's not sitting behind a wheel dude. None of us are 14 gears on a semi-truck ripping around the country thinking we've fucking love this. You just get to go, get where you're going. Patience. I got more patience with the kid because I didn't hit a fucking red light. Then I don't have to go fucking, I can feel a little bit better about my negotiations with a three-year-old terrorist when it comes to ice cream cake. I feel I'm in a better headspace now. The red light is the obvious choice here. I see where you're coming from a little bit, but I think it's, I think you're kind of zoomed in a little bit. Too much tunnel vision on the big overlaying things. Yeah, we're going to NASCAR. You're going to

certain things, it's a bit of an issue, but you're going to get there a whole lot faster. Beat the traffic. You might get in that parking spot anyway. You might be a cake eater with that red light piece. Restaurants, grocery shopping. Money, easy. All of it. I would love to pull up front and center.

As far as the car ride, getting the places faster, I don't mind a little extra conversation in the vehicle if you have people there. I don't mind, you know, getting on a phone call and you're catching up with somebody, catching up with your old man, people that you haven't seen in a long time. You get that little extra time on the road a little bit. I think I appreciate that a lot. And then if you're going home to negotiate with a three-year-old terrorist, you have a little bit more time to prepare.

Get your wherewithal about you. Figure out, hey, what's happening at the house right now? What do I need to be ready to come into? That's where you fucked up, brother. You don't have time to prepare for a three-year-old terrorist. Those things come up. I'm not thinking to myself, oh, my best friend's going to bring up ice cream cake three minutes before bedtime.

I got to prepare for the situation. Those are things with three-year-olds. You're just in there. and they're going to be strong-headed and getting after you, it comes up on you like that. You've got to be ready at all times. To which I think I would enjoy my solitude a little bit more on the right home.

Get a little bit more me time before I have to go home. When you go home, just have a little more me time. Parking spot. Boys in the back, how do we feel about it? Oh, yeah, where are you guys at? Are we going to take a vote? Who we stand with? Yeah.

Who do you stand with? Or maybe there's a wrinkle that hasn't been said. Yeah, well, I stand with Will because your exact explanation about the patience is exactly what I told my friend Petit when he asked me about it. I'm with that. And I'm just going to those events way more. Like, you're talking about how much time would the red light save of your day? Like, how often are you driving per day?

How often are you going to a concert or a sporting event? Guess what? You got that front row. You got that spot. I'm saying, like, the red lights. you've saved like five minutes. A light lasts 45 seconds. A drive.

So for me to hear him back, that's five minutes both ways. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know their traffic over here with this little light. And people are not pulling up to turn left. And it's two minutes. But listen, you have to get to the red light to run it. You don't get to miss all the traffic.

This isn't a traffic question. I'm bobbing and weaving on them now. I know, no matter what, I can get past this red light. I might pull over. I might go London on them, bitches, and go all the way to the left. and then cruise back over the right because it ain't nothing going to happen.

You guys already put that insurance policy in for me. It's too short-sided talking about arenas and big events and stuff like that every single day. The more you explain, the better I feel about mine. Hey, I love that, JP, because that's a cop-out. I love that, dude. What a good way to get out of it. Jack?

I'm with you, Taylor. Let's fucking go, Jack. You are in a car driving, going through red lights so much more in your life than you are going to events. And I get the grocery store thing. I'm talking everywhere. I don't care if it's a whole parking lot. The only time it feels like parking would come into play is that like going to a Titans game

or something at an arena where there's a mass amount of parking. When you're at the grocery store, very rarely, if ever, have I gone there and not been able to get a parking spot, nor have I ever thought, like, wow, this walk is going to really set me back some time. The world of trying to make the extra text or call, like, hey, where do I park here, I'm here. No matter where you're at, no matter where you're at. It's not a question. You got their front row spot. I do broad of a statement, dude.

No matter where you're at, do you call people when you go to Trader Joe's that you do once a week every single week and you know? No. Trader Joe's is a bitch-ass parking lot too. Like, they need to fucking figure their shit out there. But you're not calling being like, yo, where do I go? Like, we're truly just talking about events. No, it could be. Every single day.

You could be downtown. You could be in the parking. This way. Five minutes. That's way. If I do just one trip there and back, that's 10 minutes according to JP. 10 minutes. No, your whole day is what I'm saying.

Not one trip. Then you don't drive as much as me. And that's okay. It's all right. Never mind. I won't even go ahead. When's the last time you went to the grocery store? Four days ago.

I was in there four days ago. Hey, my dad asked me that same question last night. And it pissed me off. I was like, dude, I go to the grocery store. You don't go to the grocery store. Yes, I do. No, you know. Yeah, I get over there.

I get over there. I get over there. I go to that Whole Foods in Green Hills. Next time you go to the grocery store, we need a selfie posted. done. All right. Expect one today. After we're done with this fucking bond. I mean there.

And also, dude, a little hack, a little hack for the grocery store because I'm there so much. Get you, especially if you're at Whole Foods, let's say it's in the morning time, like is when I like to go because the traffic is a little less. Get yourself a, you say valet. Dude, you go to the grocery store, go right to the beverage aisle because they have the little singlet boys out there. What's it, coal brew or a water or something like that? Get that thing. Crack it open. on the other side of the entrance.

I'll ignore the produce and go all the way because I know the grocery store so much. I go through the produce area all the way past the cashiers, past the coffee shop, and I go grab myself a coal brew, and I'll crack that thing and I'll do my chores,

my chorn in the grocery store with a drink. And that's a little free piece of advice for you. You're still going to pay for it, but get you a little beverage to enjoy yourself a little bit more because the grocery store ain't that much fun. It's not that much fun.

Because I go all time. I know that. I know how not fun it is. Where are you at, dude? What do you live, man? I think it's tough, but I think I got to go with the parking spot. You talk about all the places that you're going and running the lights. When you're going somewhere, you've got to park your car.

So why not park it in the first spot, closest spot to the door? So I hear both sides, but you could also just leave a little bit earlier, not be in a rush. To have to run lights. So parking spot. That's so gay. Go ahead, go ahead, Mitch. Is that just gladiator? That's so fucking lame, dude.

I'm not entirely sure what side I sit on. You better pick a side, brother. You're the deciding boat. You gotta pick one. Every minute. We'll literally, we'll do something and we'll come back to you if you want. I do it. Like, it's, because I'm one where I don't mind sitting at lights, but I also don't mind walking.

Shut out of a good drive with some music. Yeah, I mean, like, I think I think I think I'm a good podcast, a good conversation. I think. I think I'm going to go with Will. Like, I don't mind waiting at lights. Like, it is what it is. Like, I just really don't care. Like, I forgot how dumb this whole entire bus is besides Jack.

I'm just never. Like, that's wild of thinking by you guys. I mean, like. No disrespect. It's just, it's just. No offense, but. Just lets you listen to your song longer, your podcast longer. If you're on the phone with your parents or somebody, just to catch up.

I'm like, yeah, for real. Y'all are super patient guys today. Today, dude. I want to see you when you're not so patient. Well, the two people that are battling for running lights are the most impatient people. I'm super patient, dude. I'm so patient. What do you mean?

When did you see me not patient? What have you seen me? I'll see you tomorrow. When do you see me fucking get all like, oh, fuck, because of anything? What's the last time you see me mad? Running a light? Yeah, because this shit's got to go a little faster, you know? With the light thing, here we go.

Yeah. You know? I don't know. I'll just, I'll go to JP and Will. when the whole flight thing happened at JFK, do you see me flinch? When we were sitting there at the baggage claim and they're like, you're going to miss this direct flight?

Did you guys see me flinch? I was, hey, it is what it is. You guys got to go. Better, you guys not missing, like all three of us not missing this flight or missing the flight, I'll just miss it. You guys go. Did you see me flinch?

You see me fucking pouting and mad? What are you talking about? I said I patted right out. I took 20 minutes. I took 20 minutes. I put the headphones in. I put some angry music on. And when that timer went off,

that bring, I wouldn't got myself a breakfast bowl. I hung out. I got myself a coffee with it. Where's the conversation went to now? I'm talking about patience. Which is everybody's ridiculous claim. We've all been in a car with you.

You got a legit strap in. The patience thing for the parking. Like, there's nowhere to park. Oh, where am I going to go? I have to go three rows back. Are we talking about getting mad or getting flustered? No, I'm talking about patience. I'm obviously flustered right now because I feel like my boys have been misled.

Like, I had to call all, I had to call all. all y'all is personal. It's a, it's your own. I got to call everybody who's been a mentor to you guys. I got to fucking get a hold of them and tell me you guys messed up a little bit. I look, I know, like, in life, you're a patient person. Like, I haven't seen you explode like crazy or anything. But this is different. Driving you are, it is chaos when you're driving.

And I think to Garrett's point, you and Jack have similar personalities. So, like, y'all two are more similar, so y'all would have that same belief in it's, There's nothing wrong with either one. Draw the square, dude. And look, it could be 4 to 2 right now. It could be 80 to 20. When the vote goes up, the poll goes up on Twitter. Marking to.

Yeah, no, it could go A-Story. If history is anything, I'm going to catch the back end, and I'm going to take the short end of the stick on the pole. I'm usually not the victor in the poll area. I was the minority. Why don't you think that is? You think it's a personal thing, or you think at some point you're going to be like,

maybe I'm on the wrong side of history. Most of the history. This is where we're making up history right now. Maybe you're viewing the results too early on, not being patient enough and waiting until the end to see. I see what you did there. Dude, let me tell you, dude. In life, there's two. Two is always better.

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Wait, a lot. What's that? Here we go. I'm over here wielding my sword. That's crazy. That is crazy. That is crazy. That's great.

Roll the tape back. Roll that tape back a little bit. I'm this close. Jack was with you the whole time. The whole time. It's okay. It's okay. It's all right.

Y'all want to move on a tear talk? Maybe that was me. Maybe that was me, brother. All right? I am a little flustered right now. I'm getting impatient with the situation. Don't laugh. I'm laughing with you.

I'm fucking around. I'm fucking around. We can. It doesn't matter. I know the, what are we doing for tier talk? The uniform. Of uniforms for the uniforms for the. NFL.

Oh, but yeah. What did you got? Did we got some fries? That's just the tear talk. Oh. Nate. We are back, dude. Oh, like, get in here, Doc.

How are you? You can't, you owe me on the podcast. I need my job. Too late. Too late. We're live. I know. You need to have these as the every day, every week.

We are. We got two games coming up. We're announced that a couple days. You guys, you guys are what games it will be? Houston and Houston. Oh. Should be Houston. Houston is one.

Houston. I think the Steelers Thursday night game. We'll just fuck him out. Tomorrow. Houston's one of them? At home? Got a flex on Houston. Hey, shout out Bain, dude.

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Now, I do want to say this, shout out Nate Bain, but I did tell Joey, like a couple days before I got cut, I need one of those jerseys in 77 Luwan game day edition cut the same way and everything he did promise this is a nice gift this does not get you out of that joey i'm gonna need that these are the best uniforms i think i the tier talks is what the tier talk is best are alternate uniforms in the nfl who's that Nate yeah what is what's so funny explain it, but I guess I'm so used to see you with... I'm getting the giggles. I'm used to seeing you with hair.

And so with the hat and the jersey. I'm like ridiculous. You just look like the ultimate fan. Hell yeah, because I am, dude. I am. Now, Tier Talk is the alternate jerseys. I would like to... We just got to get a vote.

Is this God tier? Gotta be. Gotta be. We got it all in favor? I know. Garrett and Jack. Yeah. Willie?

I. I. Oh, fuck. All right, tier talk. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is it God tier? Do you agree? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. You said I. Like, I thought he was able to make a big announcement. No, no, I. Like, all in favor? Oh, I. Yeah, okay. All in favor?

Aye. All right, God tier. God tier, best unis. Alternative uniforms. The Titans, the Oilers, whatever you want to call it. Tennessee Oilers. The Tennessee Oilers. Hell yeah.

They got to go to this. Like full time. They got to say, hey, that was a fun five years of having the old Titans uniforms. They need to change their name to the Tennessee Oilers

and start reppping these bad boys all the time. That would be so fucking sick. The new helmets and everything too? I'm with that. And you do, then you have like these OGs. You put those on it

and then you do a couple of alternates that maybe bring the Tennessee like sword back and stuff like that. you know, switch it up with a little bit of flair. I think the newer uniforms are sick, but these ones, you can't fucking beat these, dude. You cannot.

Yeah, you really can't, man. There's six different unis that have dropped. The Titans, the Seahawks, Buccaneers, Vikings, Colts, and Browns. Let's rank. I think we need to rank all of them. You want to go all six? Yeah. I think we just need to do it.

Actually, let me. Because you've probably seen photos of each one. Do that one's like a Seahawks That one's a close one bro Titans Jets Lions

Is Philly coming out of one? Godly I know man I wish they I wish they all dropped Those ones will be sick Oh Washington Washington's got to do

A Redskins one yeah Broncos are releasing one tomorrow They have to Hey the Broncos ones are going to be sick We go back to that orange With that classic Bronco on top

Oh no, they had the Bronco one. That one would be fired with, you're talking about with that D. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, bro. Those will be sick. It'll be hard. Once they all come out, we'll have to do a ranking. I will say, dude, of all the upsetting things about getting cut and stuff like that, this might be number one and not being to play a game with this fucking uniform on.

I know this uniform in the visor. Man, that shit would be so sick. Anyway, I digress. But those buck ones. Do you want to take five boys? Or do you want to roll? Yeah, I'm solid. I'm ready to roll.

I can work through these. Hang on. Go up to the down to the Eagle one. Oh, it's not officially released. That one's going to be nasty, dude. So let me just say one more time. Titans, Bucks, Seahawks, Jets, Lions, Minnesota, Colts, Browns. That's what we got right now?

That's eight? Okay. I think I'm ready. I think I'm ready from the little piece I just got. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. All right. So one across the board is Titans. My two. Okay. So God tier Titans. My one is going to go to the Buccaneers. That orange, that creams are cold, whatever the fuck it's called. That shit goes so hard. The pirate on the side, that's fucking dope.

My two is going to go to the Seahawks. I think they look awesome. I love how the Seahawks have been able to. do like all the neon and stuff like that and make it actually work because it's such like a flashy color for an NFL team. But the classics, dude, those are so sick to me. And my three is going to go to Minnesota. The Minnesota helmets, the classic, like the purple people eaters that brings you back. Like it is, it is a fucking hitter, dude. It's a hitter.

And so that would be my three. Do you want me to do the other three? Yeah, keep doing the rest. Okay, so my other three, let me see. Can I see the lions, please? It's just the helmet. Let me see it, though. Damn.

I thought theirs came out. It's like all gray. Yeah, this is all... All right. The Lions is not going to be in there right now. I've done these four. I'm going to go... Honorable mention, so number four for me is going to be the Jets.

The next one is going to be... It kind of... These next three to me are kind of like whatever, because you're doing so much history. with the ones I just said. And that is just a cool feeling because it truly brings you back to your childhood.

I want to see the Broncos ones. I want to see the Eagles ones. But I'll go just of like what I think looks cool. I'm going to go Browns next. I think that all white does look dope with the helmets. I'll go Colts after that

and then based on just the helmet with the lions. I'll put lions in the last place there. That is going to be my all six. And with that, I'll take your guys as one word. Who was the last one you did? I think my last pick was lions.

But I think it's close. between the Colts and the Lions. Exactly. Right. Solid. Always solid. Nice. Perfect.

It's exactly what my... Those are all my exact thoughts, too. I think Colts and Lions are very close. It seems like the Lions are doing the all-grays, which I think is so gay when you do an all-gray uniform. Especially with the Lions color blue, too. I just don't feel like it pops that well.

It's kind of like pick your poison between the... Like a Colts blue and black or like the Lions blue and gray. And the Colts just edge it out on, you know, being not the fucking suckiest. Because I think the Colts suck too. Yeah, the Colts look kind of cool. Like, I don't know because I do like like the Titans uniforms when they go all blue. I think that looks really good. And then the Titans uniforms when they're all white with the white helmet,

I felt it looked really good too. That like keeping the same pattern. I always enjoy it. With the oil or stuff? No. I'm talking about like with the newer, the newer, not old Titans uniforms, but the most recent ones,

not the throwbacks. I'm just as a reference to the Colts. I like how they do the blue helmet, the same color as the pants, the same color as the jersey. Got you. But that being said, like, I think, the reason why the Cleveland Browns were above them

is they just look cooler. They just... Yeah, I don't think the Browns are terrible. I don't think the Browns are either. But you're just like with the top three, excluding the God tier, obviously, Like you're getting that fucking, like, man, I remember that. Yeah.

You know? Especially Tampa, because low-key Tampa is close to Tennessee. Like, it's a close. Yeah, we're talking probably 1A, 1B type situation. Because the Buccaneers one does fuck hard. The best part about the Tennessee Oilers uniforms is it just pisses people off in Houston. That fucking debate of like, we own this. That's not not the Tennessee thing.

That to me puts it over the top. Like they're dope-ass uniforms, but then to take one of your biggest rivals and kind of give them the bird, that's fucking dope. And you signed D-Hop. That's a good point, Gary. I think another one you need to look out for

because I think they released what the helmet's going to be right down in Atlanta. Yeah. Bring the red helmets back. Yeah. The Falcons are going to be sick too. But you got to go, like, old school, like when you go to the alts.

Got to go the old school. Yeah. Too many rules. Except for the Packers. Those old schools fucking suck. Is that the fucking... Steelers ones too. Yeah, those.

Bumblebees. They look like bumblebees. Yeah, man. Those suck. But as a player, if you play for the Steelers, like you do want to play a game in those. Just to fucking have it. Just to have a jersey.

Like, yeah, this shit's sick. Well, JP, you're going to say something? No, no, no. You kind of leaning up weird. I was just making sure. Stretching you. Yeah, yeah. Get that little back right, kid.

My father-like son. Do you guys have feel any different on the tier talk? We're... Yeah, I think we're... That's got to be a great feeling. Yeah. All of us sitting there. We're all in uniform.

for him. Nice. Except for two of us. All right. I meant all of our picks. Yeah, I know. We had to do pet peeve of the week as well. So let's knock out pet peeve of the week and let's rip out of here, boys.

I think maybe universal pet peeve of the week is not getting to the episode. Not getting to the episode. People are always upset about the intro. Well, not everyone, but some people are upset about the intro is like, oh, we just want to get to the interview. Where's Tom? Yeah. Like you can't fast forward to the interview. Yeah.

And you can literally go in the information and be like, interview starts at this number. Exactly. And you click it and then it's there. Right? Yes. And I'm all in the information. So that can just be our universal pet peeve.

So that way we can just, boom, we hit the pet peeve. All right. Let's hit it. Not getting to the episode. Also. Not getting to the episode fast.

Three-year-old terrorists. That's also when I just want to put that in there. A little side dish to the pet peeve of the week. But everybody complaining you did not win. Huh? The people complaining about us not. getting to the interview, they didn't win by this. Right, right, right.

We're just acknowledging, like, we'll do this one pet peeve because we do have Tom Siger on and he was phenomenal. It was great. Everybody's going to love it. And a lot of people, one person in particular was like he kind of doesn't say a whole lot. You got to warm him up a little bit from the get go. He was fucking on.

It was a great podcast going on all. Let's fucking hit this ad and then rip. Yeah. Your eyes are popping what they blew on. Oh, that fires me up. Yeah, that had to keep her for you for sure. I will. I will take that into... You're wearing your shirt backwards.

Yeah. You know how people would do it back in the day? You wrote that backwards jersey. Yeah. People would? Yeah. I don't remember that. Hey, Jackson, no. Jack sees it? I know. All right. Do you want to hit this Duke Cannon?

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And I thought I was going to do press run leading up to the fourth. And I was like, I think I could probably do like a stop in Nashville. And then they moved it this week. And I was like, and then you guys said you're going to be here. I was like, fuck yeah. Well, yeah, we had we had to pivot because we're fans. We are massive fans. Oh, thank you.

And when Taylor and I was going back and forth, I was like, it doesn't sound. I was like, I was texting with your guy or you. We were in that group channel. I'm like, it sounds like he might be coming through Nashville still, but the people. on the bar so I was like, oh, I think he's just doing New York. Then we found out you're doing New York. It's like, hey, we got to get out to New York, dude.

We usually come out here a lot anyway, so it was an easy little deal for us. It's a fun. It's a fun stop, right? It is. Usually when we come here, it's like we take the same flight we did this morning. We, you know, 5 a.m. crews get here at 9. And then we spend all day here and they take the earliest flight out the next day. It's always. Yeah. It's always a- You didn't get off, get out. Do you do a little, like, enjoy New York? Like, go to an awesome place for dinner, that kind of thing, or no?

No. Really? usually like rip around the corner like what was that place we went to the other day it's like right over here by the hotel oh i hate butchering it because but it's like the small little like hole in the wall sometimes those are awesome yeah yeah it's awesome do you remember what it's called jp it's like pig something yeah it's yeah it's kind of gives me anxiety though new york it's fucking stressful man where'd you grow up i grew up i grew up in a i 550 200 people oh yeah this is a big departure yeah it's crazy you get off you just like i'm on the highway and we're in our uber and we're driving by he's actually watching her special on the way here. And I'm just looking out at these apartments with the windows that are so tiny.

I'm like, people just live in there. People live in rooms the size of what we're in right now. It's chaos. It's living in chaos. And then we hit the bagel shop for us and daughters. Yeah, we had a bagel shop and I'm thinking to myself, dude, this is, it literally was like the scene of a gangster movie where two guys are like talking about people are still taking tickets.

Yeah. We're sitting in there nervous. Yeah. Like, do we just wait? I have the thing though where I like, I don't know, man. I don't have to live. in a city like this, but I have to be able to go to it, like, fairly regularly. Yeah.

To kind of feel alive in a way. I need cities. We were having that conversation on the flight, like, growing up in small towns, like you always think when you leave, like he went to Nebraska, I went to Michigan. You're like, someday I'm going to be back in that small town. Someday I'm going to be back. And I went back recently. And I remember sitting there going, brother, if I came back here and just lived here,

I don't think, I think I'm like, I've seen too much now. I've gone outside too much where it's like I just can't. go back to living that small town life. It's nothing against the people that live it. Could you live in Ann Arbor? No. No? No, but it's more of like a...

It's a cool city. It's a cool city. However, like I remember playing and then seeing dudes come, like, yeah, I played here back in the 80s and stuff like that. I don't think to myself, man, like, go do something. Sure. Don't let that be the identity. But you would...

But it's also like an ego thing or something. That's that person and like they're, them choosing to be like, that's who I, like hoping that that gets them something. But you'd be going there if you wanted to to live life is what I'm saying. You know what I mean? Like you wouldn't be like, hey, remember me? Yeah, exactly.

I'd be in Lincoln, fucking. And wearing my jersey still. Oh, you fucking would. You guys remember the football era? I got the best tour of the facilities there. Oh, really? Dude, that fires me up. Don't they roll out the red carpet there, man?

It was awesome. I saw Bert there last week. I was like, hey, they take good care you. And they're like, oh, bro, they are the best. It's one of my, because I'm, I love college football. Like, I love college football. I think it's all based on, like, kind of like your household growing up. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, kids who are, like, I love baseball. It's like, yeah, your dad love baseball, right? Like, that's kind of like what they were exposed to. So my dad loved college football. So we were college football. Well, there's a team at this ambulance or this fire truck. This is just a podcasting in New York, man.

Yeah, this is just fucking New York, dude. Yeah, someone just got shot in the head right now. Fuck, there's a strike going on. A March happening. What was your squad growing up? So there's a little bit of like, I moved a lot as a kid, but I basically became super hardcore FSU fan. But I'm like, think about it.

Like, I'm born in 79. So like in the 80s is when I'm watching the game and like kind of understanding what I'm watching. And then we moved to Florida. So if you move to Florida at the height of in the 90s, you're going to pick one of the the big three at the time. And so I was just like big FSU fan. It's funny because I was thinking about this how when you hang out with like, we talked to like pro players,

sometimes they talk to you like you could have to like. Like AJ Hawk was at my house and we were talking about he knows I'm a big fan. And I was, like, I love like hearing like recruiting story. Like how did you pick, you know, what was it like? What was the transition like? He's like, why didn't you play at FSU? And I was like, what? He's like.

That is such a football thing to say. I was like, what? He goes, why didn't you play there? And I go, in the late 1990s? And he's like, yeah, you could have played there. I was like, what are you talking about? Yeah. Who would I have fucking backed up Corey Simon?

Like, what are you talking about, man? He's like, he's like, he's like, you could have fucking watched their jerseys. They would have like, he's like, I go, you could, I think you're thinking, could you have played there? You could have played there. I couldn't have fucking, it wouldn't have let me try out for the team there. Did you play ball grown up? I played in high school. He's like, you played a guy?

Were you a beast? No. I mean, I was decent. I was, you know, I started. I played both ways, but I wasn't like, I got recruited by D2 schools and a couple D3s. I was going to play, and one of the coaches called me the week before camp in August. This would have been my freshman year. And he goes, we're excited to see you.

This is like a small school in Virginia. And I was like, what? He's like, you're, you all ready for tomorrow? I was like, I'm not coming to school there. And he was like, what? I was like, oh, yeah, you guys called in like June and said, that I had to take a math class to go to school there. So I just, I didn't take that class.

He was like, you're not coming tomorrow? Like, he's like, camp starts tomorrow. I was like, no, I'm going on a different school. He was like, what the fuck, man? I was like, nobody told you? He was like, no. So he's hung up the phone, he's like, whatever. Yeah, he was like, I guess we don't have a center.

So you play college ball? No, no, no, he almost played college ball. And you said you went to another school. I didn't play, okay, okay, not, but not for playing. That is a D2 story, though, because like, I don't know how it was for you. I got there in like June, my freshman year, before, like, going to my freshman year. Right. Yeah. You get there a couple months before.

And they take the shit out of you. Yeah. You take senior class. Or not senior. Summer class. Yeah, you take summer classes. Like, you get your first couple of credits in, dip the toe in before you really hit the full schedule in the fall. Because... It's like the football players and the Asians, I'll take a summer class. Yeah. Yeah. And there's no doubt about it. There's, dude, college football is... I love that atmosphere. Dude. I just watched a video last night.

They had a... It was one of those college... Like, I follow, like, so a couple accounts. And they were recapping the 10. loudest moments of last season. It was just like random games. And watching the slides of the 10 loudest moments, I got goosebumps. Like, I was like, oh, like, games I don't even give a fuck about.

Just hearing, like, because the pandemonium at those games is so different. Like, NFL's, you know, it is the top, you're the best players, obviously the best game. But the college atmosphere is so fucking bonkers. Oh, you can't, yeah. The college atmosphere is.

Like, you get the fans, they like have chance, they do stuff in the fourth. quarter and that it's it is a totally different scene i'll go to all of them too like people like yeah i grew up a fash but like every time we're on tour if we're in a college town i always like tell my tour manager call that fucking school see if we can do a tour i love the tour i don't give a fuck if it's cc big 10 big i just love being around and like i just like coaches and like you know even like the equipment guys they're always like so fired up about yeah

they're the best dude and they fucking they're like right you know you know They give you the tour. They're like, these are the jerseys. I'm like, give me that shit. Take all the gloves. We take it all. Hell yeah. Take all the free stuff you can get.

Oh, fuck yeah. You should do like the recruiting photos and shit too. Like you should get fully suited up. Oh, dude. Put the wristbands on and everything else. The craziest thing. Because I was in Buffalo and I got like a tour of the bills place. And they have like, they did a new, they're going to do a new stadium,

but they have a newer facility. So for like, you know, it's an NFL's like facility. It's nice, right? It's like pretty modern. They're showing us all this shit. And they're going, like, it's pretty impressive. we go to Baton Rouge and we're like, what is happening? I mean, it was like Jeff Bezos's like version.

He's like, is this what a college thing's like? Like, we were like, I mean, we walked down this hallway that's dark. And I'm like, what's going on? And it's like lit but dark. And then when you turn, you just turn and these glass doors automatically open. And then it's like heaven. It's like super bright. and you see a silhouette of a LSU player

and you're like, what the fuck? And you walk down the hall and then there's like these statues with different LSU gear. And they're like, yeah, this is where we take recruits. I'm like, yeah, they all sign, right? And they're like, yeah, usually when they get to hear, they're like, I want to come.

And then you turn into the locker room and it looks like Emirates first class fucking, like it looks like a first class. So, yeah, that's what we modeled it after, first class international chairs. Like, and they, You go, we monitored that our players are not getting enough sleep, so we encourage them to sleep here.

And then they had an air vent, like in where they put their shit so that it never smells in the locker. Like, all this shit. I was like, what the fuck, man? It's like a $100 million locker room. And I was like, all right, this is like. That's one of the best facilities I think we've ever seen. We were out there in the spring doing our spring tour,

and we got the, you painting that picture, like especially when you get to the sliding doors. The sliding doors are unreal. Right. And you imagine like you're 18 and you're like, ah. Imagine going to Oregon. Like we were in high school, 0,8, 2009 graduating.

And that was when like Oregon was at the top of their game. New uniforms every single week. New uniform styles. Nike. They're putting everything in there. And you see the facilities. College facilities are so much different than NFL facilities. I mean, I kind of go like,

especially for the guys that are like literally going from one to the next, part of you've got to be like, the fuck is this. Oh, dude. Yeah. But obviously the money goes into the players in the NFL in college. You're like, that's all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The funny thing about Baton Rouge, and I love Louisiana.

But if you go on campus at LSU, you're like, this is maybe the nicest place I've ever been in my life. Like the campus is beautiful. All the buildings are the same color. All the plants are perfectly organized. You step one foot off that campus. And you're like, where the fuck did I just go? It is like a lot.

The line is truly drawn. Well, we went to... My little sister went to Ole Miss. And when you're in Oxford, it feels like a, like a, like a... a movie set of a college town. Like when you're in and around campus, you're like, this feels like make believe. Like you feel like they're going to like,

oh, all right, cut, and they're going to move the fucking wall or something. Yeah. But then you like drive out of Oxford and you're like, all right, we should fucking lock the doors. This is kind of weird. Yeah, fuck out of it.

Crazy out there like that. Mississippi, man. What are some of the best spots you've seen since you like to go on tour wherever you go? I mean, honestly, like the LSU thing was mine. bending, you know. I got the Nebraska tour

and saw where Indomacan's check went. That was nice to build the the house of Spears like that weight room. Yeah, the weight room's fucking... When did you go? Two years ago, I think. Okay.

Yeah. We were there at that time. I was just wondering I heard some cool stories about him. About a Sue? Fuck! Yeah, they were like, no, he's fucking crazier than you.

think. Let's hear a couple. I don't even know if I should tell these stories. I could, I could possibly confirm or deny that it's like a real psychopath playing like that you're like this guy's crazy. Like, no, this guy is crazy. Yeah, but it's not like definitely in between the white lines, but not not off the field. I don't know, but what was that story you told about getting a ride to the airport or something? And you thought he was going to beat the shit out of you. Yeah, he said out like I'll pull the car over and fucking stomp on you. Because I was, wait, you're in a car? Just putting Yeah, we were having a lunch somewhere, and then when we were driving him to the airport, I built up, I mustered up the courage to bring up him stomping on Aaron Rogers.

I was like, you're going to, so you were going to say that the man upstairs knows what happened, but you clearly stomped on 12, and he was like, we can pull the car over now, and I'll stomp your ass out. But, you know, that's just fun play. He's not a psychopath. No, not at all. That's just fun. It's just us being dudes.

It was all, all the stories I heard were like at Nebraska. Because obviously, everybody's more aware of the NFL stuff. It's on tape. Yeah. Hey, let's watch a compilation of Sue trying to kill people. Millions of views on YouTube. You're like, this is fucking nuts. It's crazy.

And like for a guy that big, that strong and that upset. Bro, and he never got tired in any of the workouts. It was truly unfucking real. And even when they say like at Tampa, because Sue went to Tampa. Went to Miami. Right? No, no. He also played.

Yeah, he played at Miami too, but when he played for Tampa. He had a couple years ago. He's at multiple stops. Yeah, he's at Detroit, Miami, Tampa. Right, right. But when he was at Tampa, I was talking to Levante David, who is an unreal linebacker. But I was like, yeah, what's Sue like in the locker rooms now? Because we're all kind of like around the same kind of generation.

And he's like, like, Sue's one of the saviest businessman, like in the NFL, like in between meetings, right after practice, in between all this stuff. He's like on conference calls, like handling meetings. Like, Warren Buffett is like in his counsel. It's insane. Like the dude is super impressive. He had an engineering degree at Nebraska. But an absolute, to your point, an absolute psychopath on the field.

Like, we were at Baylor and he got a, he got a penalty for tackling the quarterback too hard. This was before all the protecting the quarterback stuff came out because he essentially like chokeslam the Baylor quarterback. It was insane. Cole McCoy said he was puking up blood after the Big 12 championship because he... There's a couple stories that I honestly would tell you. I'll tell you off. I really don't feel like I should tell you. Okay.

But there's the one that I think is fun to tell that I heard when I was there was like how... You know, they do this thing. It's so fucking weird that when there's bowl games, they're like, why don't you guys like have dinner together the night before? Like, right? Like you're having... You're playing Texas in a bowl game. They're like, how about a both teams have dinner?

They put you in a banquet hall. Yeah, the banquet hall did. competitions. What? Yeah. Even when you're watching it from, you're like, why are they having dinner?

And then like they're, everybody's like a table away. So I guess when for the bowl game that year, it was Nebraska. I forget who it, maybe Kansas, Kansas State or something. We play when Sue's there,

Clemson and Arizona. Maybe. Holiday Bowl. Yeah. So there's some bowl guy. Let's just say it's Arizona. So then they go, all right.

And he's having his monster year, right? Like he's having an unstoppable. getting every award. So they're at the, like the ESPN people come to, like dinner and they're like, how's the chicken? And they're asking everybody stupid shit. And then they ask the center for like, let's say Arizona, like, oh, you have to face Indomaconsu tomorrow.

And he's won every award for a defensive player of the year. How do you feel about that? And he goes, I'm not that worried about it. And he said that when I heard the story, they said that all the Nebraska guys, they were right because they were all sitting together they just went like like they just lean forward and they're like oh shit and they saw sue just like okay like they're like we already knew like right then that it was going to be a problem yeah and he goes in the game in the game sue picked him up like basically over his head and threw him head first down onto his head onto his center and like he had a neck injury and left the game he had a neck injury and left the game Like he I mean I was like God Damn

Anytime you put Sue Like it was all By the time I got in the league Sue was out of Detroit And he was in Miami or whatever We played Miami like two or three years In Miami And they're like

There's always like older savvy Offensive linemen there And they'd be like Whatever you do Do not talk to Sue Just don't talk to And I was yeah Like my rookie year and stuff

Like that was really mouthy And I would talk to You know Try to talk shit to everybody Yeah And then I tried to talk shit to Sue And he kind of looked at me in the center And the huddle grabbed me by the collar

And told me to shut the fuck up Because I don't have to deal with him He's like shut the fuck up You do not talk to him anymore And I was like okay Wow He was like a three year I think it was Brian Schwanky

Oh my gosh The dude is a He was like there are those guys in the league That when they get a little older They become a little bit more mellow And I think Sue he signed a massive deal A hundred million dollar deal at that point And it was like just don't do anything

Don't provoke him Don't provoke him Don't poke the bear. If you poke the bear, bear's gonna eat you. It'll be like cocaine bear. Wow. Yeah,

you'll be fucking done. What was your shit talking like? Like, were you just like... My shit talking varied in a lot of different ways. I'd hit, I hit up with the classic and like, you know,

you're a pussy, that type of stuff. Yeah. But then there'd be times like, the NFL is a super like, it can be homophobic. A lot of guys, we don't play that shit in the locker room.

So some dude be mouthing off to me. We were playing the Jags one time. It was, we were like, we're like walking in the middle of the field because we're like on the 30-yard line, so we have to go the opposite 30-yard line. And one defense-alignment,

and a three technique, he's walking behind me, like, I'm here all day, blah, you can't block me. And I turn around, I'm like, bro, you listen. If you don't stop talking, I'm going to suck your dick.

And our center comes out of nowhere, unprovoking, he goes, and we swallow here too. And the rest of the game, he was like, what the fuck? You fucking, you fuck them up. Yeah, if you just say super gay things of NFL players, like, I've had other players

that go from, like, the Raiders to the Titans, and be like, hey, what's up with 77? Is he actually gay? Like, what's the deal? Like, that's, it's a mind game. Yeah, it's my game. I mean, when I was at the Raiders, it was like, hey, so what's up with your,

what's up with your boy? Yeah. That's just my guy, man. That's just my guy. I'm more of like, I champion everybody. I tell everybody, I was a solid route. That was good.

That was good. Because I want, you know, I need as much as I can to, like, I got to sneak you at some point. I've told the story before. I played in high school against Heath Evans. He was a fullback for like 10 seasons in the NFL. He went to a really, we played at small schools in Florida.

And, I mean, he was obviously different than like the average person you played against in high school. You're like, what in the fuck? It's like hitting a bank door, you know, like every time you're like, God damn. I mean, he was just like he was built different. He was clearly going to move on. And but so he played at a school that like they were terrible. He was the star player at a terrible school. like that we would beat them but he would still he would play he played like running back and linebacker so he would still have like 18 tackles and 230 yards right but they would lose but every single time you if you tackle them I mean it would it would take the whole team he'd be like that was a great tackling you're like what and like we're so not you know like who does this sounds like Andrew Lund he would like he would pat us on the back he's like great effort I was like shut the fuck up man yeah you do it the it wasn't even for like a series it was the entire

entire game. Great effort. Great block. You did a good job. Frustrate the shit out of you. Yeah. Every time you're like, what do you do? And then he's actually, he was religious. So he would say like God bless and like do prayer stuff. And I was like, is this like, are you fucking with me? The funniest thing we talk about like religion and football, which is. There's so many religious guys. So many religious guys. But in the locker room after warmups, there'll be rap music going on about eating pussy and getting money and doing drugs. and then it'll cut and I'll be like

all right prayer in the shower and everybody like walk in the shower and hold hands and as soon as they walk back out press play back in fucking bitches getting money and all that stuff and you're like hey

does no one see the parody in this the NFL would never allow I never allow their shit talking to air because they'll release you know the miced up stuff

but it's all edited and cut that would be such a fucking dream I always said I would pay it like a thousand dollar like season past like oh we can hear the guys on

that be like hey, I'm gay, come suck this dick and we'll swallow. I'd be like, the best money. The best spent money you've ever had. There's some great shit talkers out there. I mean, DJ Swarenger, we talk about him from Swagoo. The Gamecocks. Like, what was it?

Was it you telling the story about him during a... The Outback Bowl. Yeah, the Outback Bowl, pre-game and all that. Pre-game are, our returners are catching footballs. And he pushed one of the returners out of the way, caught one of our footballs and kicked it into the stands. This is that Tampa Bay Stadium for a bowl game. And he goes, this is my fucking house. Get the fuck out of here.

And I'm in the locker room just warming up in this little. little white returner Drew Dillio, shout out Drew Dillio. He comes in hot, mad. And sure enough, it was swagoo. That dude was... Two spoon swagoo, man. He is different now, dude. He was a different cat.

Whoa. Dudes are just like that, though. Some guys, it varies, man. Some dudes do not say a word. Some guys are super positive. Some guys are super negative. It's like, you never know who you're going to get. Yeah.

Just never know. And it's how, I mean, I think it is how the stress of competition and what you're about to do affect. affects everyone differently. So for some people to perform in that environment, it's, hey, shut down, don't say a word. For some, it's like the stress of it makes them chirp a lot. Some of them, I'm going to stay pot. Like, that's why you just don't know what you're going to get. But it's like, it's like the stress of the unknown, like the unknown of battle, right? Like, you don't know what's going to happen. And that it manifests itself differently through everybody. Like, I mean, I've seen

guys who were like incredible athletes, incredible athletes, shut down. Right. Not talk. They're like, my game does all my talk, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Which is a cool saying. That's like a Rex Burkhead. Like when Rex was at Nebraska, he was just a baller, but the dude was like, you know, just head down. Yeah.

Hand the ball of the ref, do his thing. And then when that guy does say something, it's so powerful. Yeah. Yeah. We had a kid in high school on our high school team

who won the 100 and 200 meter track state championship. This kid is legit, fast as fuck. I mean, he's the 100-meter champion in Florida. And he's our punt returner. And corner, he's 5-7. He ended up playing at Citadel, a corner at Citadel.

But, like, he's 5-7, 160 pounds. And looks like a fucking, like a bodybuilder. Like a Tyree Hill type? Yeah, dude. And you're in high school and you're like, this guy is fucking, this is insane. Like, his, how talented he is. And he was super religious. And they would, he was a workhorse.

Like, he won games. You know what I mean? Like there's games we definitely would have lost it Like he took a punt back kickoff Just and people You know when we played teams with like Those badass dudes would talk mad shit And he would always always

Just hand the ball of the ref Never said anything And then one time we played these punk mother Like these guys that were such fucking dirty shit bags And when they they tried to hurt him And we he popped up when he was You could suck on my left nut to this kid And we were all like oh shit

Like like Jay says that shit? Like we just couldn't believe it. But everybody for like a week we're just like going to practice we're like suck up my left nut. He's like I was just you know, in the moment. I was apologized for it after the game. I'm sorry I spoke up during that drive. I think it's insane how dudes

can talk shit and play at a high level because I'm thinking like my conditioning can't take all that. Like I'm just trying to get back to the huddle relay the play. I'm thinking how these dudes just run their mouthful. You have so much responsibility as a lineback with the green dot. Yeah. And I you know, you just like subtle jokes out there. It's like you know,

I can't remember, but the first time we played, I know, like, we tapped helmets, but if I'm, like, tapping a white guy out there on the ass of my, hey, I can't believe we're out here, am I right? Yeah, we get back for the fucking day. I remember Greg Olson. I've told the story before, but Greg Olson, and I finally had my opportunity to start.

It was like my second or third game starting, I believe. And I remember breaking up a pass over the middle. He just, you know, buttoned up over the middle, and I broke it up and did the little, you know, I did the little incomplete thing. And then I webbed him like Spider-Man. He goes, who the fuck are you? What are you, like third string?

And I was like, hey, I work for this spot, man, I'll work for this spot. And then during the time how he comes over, he, like, taps me on the helmet. And he's like, hey, man, I'm really sorry for saying that. Like, I know you work hard. I know this and that. No shit. It's all good, bro. It's all good.

Yeah. That is, like, like, fuck, that's actually impressive to, like, hey, man, I respect you. You know what I mean? Absolutely. If I hurt you in an emotional way, I don't. Yeah. Yeah. The weirdest thing is playing against people that you grew up watching.

Yeah. Like, we played the Raiders. my second or third year and Charles Woodson was there and I remember we were like on a timeout I'm like hey dude and like you're fucking awesome and it was so weird just to say and he's like thanks young blood appreciate that all right yeah yeah I'm like I'm like get the fuck out of here

you gotta just go back to that yeah you're like hell he's like 42 you're fucking 42 years old dude it's crazy it's crazy hell yeah and like I don't know if that's like because you hear stories but like the stories about Woodson that people who said they're like yeah he just like is that

like he's not killing himself in the weight room or like he's just that good. He's better than everybody. I heard he was like an absolute, you know, study. He was all about it, like the film room and everything else. That's the thing that impresses me the most to when I watch like these pieces on players. Because you just, as a, as a spectator, you just go like, oh, this is like a super gifted athlete. We've seen, like you see athletes and you're like, wow, this guy's so just blessed, right,

with his like physical abilities. is that when you hear how committed some people are to studying shit, and you're like, oh, that's why they're great. Like they are gifted. Right. But the dedication is other level. That's what keeps people in the league for a while, too, is just the ability to play from the neck up and everything else

because your body ends up breaking down. Yeah, you got to stay on top of your body and everything else. I appreciate that. You got to stay on top of your body and everything else. But that is, like, that's where the majority of the league, the guys that, like, stick around for a long time, you have to like... I love this shit.

You have to be... If you're not a starter, if you're not... Out there on the field, you have to be, like, just a dependable backup and somebody, like, in my position and then, like, play special teams. Yeah. But, yeah, you always hear the stories about, like, some of the greats that people come from, players that come from other teams and they're coming on your team. They're telling you about these guys that you look up to on other teams. And they're like, man, so-and-so's in the, you know, in the building doesn't leave to, like, seven or eight at night and everything else. And you're just kind of, like, fascinated by it.

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We stay drinking this shit, boys, in the office, at the gym, on the bus, on the golf course. We love this shit. All body armor all the time. Buy body armor right now on Amazon. Back to the episode. Tony Gonzalez told me this thing that I thought was such a cool, like little insight. So he played like, what, 17 seasons?

Yeah, he was nuts. A tight end. It's fucking insane. And he's like, you know, I'm asking him like, because he's like fine. Like he just walks around. You're like, you're okay. And he's like, well, he goes, you know,

I figured out that like, like if I caught a ball and I see the guy coming right here and I'm on the sideline and I just like you know cover up if he's coming this way I'll just start to fall the you know with the hit yeah he goes so a lot of times you would hear like ooh like because it would look like I got blown up he's like I was already going in that direction so that so that the hit wouldn't have the same level of impact right because if I lean in I'm gonna fucking fucking lean into him, it's going to be a, we're going to hit, and I'm going to feel it more. But if I'm, I know I'm about to get hit this way, and I lean that way, he's like, it's less impact. And I was like, oh, that's fucking, like, most people or a lot of people, I guess, would go, no, no, I'm going to like, I'm going to put my shoulder into this shit. And he was like, no, no, I was like, I'm trying to minimize the damage. He's like, I'm doing that for like 12 of the seasons I play.

Did the ability to displace ego. That's a big displacement of ego. Yeah. If you're, a lot of guys are like, I'm going to try to show how hard I can run this. then as you get older you learn like hey this isn't forever how could i make this as long as possible it sounds like fucking did it yeah dude i saw stephan digs shoulder pads and they look like paper plates and i was like how the fuck and the guy's like five seven or something and they're just like yeah but like when he sees the guy he just like scoots down i mean remember uh what's his

is it michael bennett the de-tackle for the seahawks or the d-end yeah remember he was basically the board like nothing. Yeah, he would cut there. There was like a one big shoulder pattern and then a shoulder pad that one here. He'd cut those off and tuck his jersey in. Yeah. We're the baggiest jersey and shit. Yeah.

This is something I completely don't understand is like how you got like when you start watching and you know, like you play in high school and you're all padded up and you see college and then you see NFL guys and you're like, are there no leg pads? Like, doesn't everyone, aren't everyone's legs fucking hurting? Like just like just the pants on you're like there's no thigh pads anymore? It's kind of swag. Hit pads kind of go away in college. Yeah, hip pads kind of went away in college.

You'd have like the girdles or whatever. Yeah. And then you kind of just go to a girdle or something that can, with like the most small pad just to see, like you're just making sure you don't get in trouble. Like you're wearing the right appropriate attire. Yeah. And then eventually you just stop, like, really wearing anything.

That's really crazy, though. Yeah, it's nuts. Because you're shedding things as competition gets higher and as everyone is bigger, faster, and strong. You're like, God, just fucking let it go. But also, like, you know, I know a lot of people, it's like you want to wear,

you want to be like as light as possible because the game gets faster at every level and everything else. So you're trying to feel as free as possible while also like trying to be a little bit protected. And I think it plays into looking better too. Yeah, I was going to say the legs are like a bigger, bulkier pads. It's like not a good look.

It's not all about looking good. It's not all about that. Some swag. You know what I mean? Get a little. You want to, I mean, you see the guys. We all got the socks, low or high. Yeah.

A bunch of little things on there. Like they're like there are dudes in there. hours before the game. Getting their little shit right, little black stuff. Yeah. Oh yeah. They do a whole bunch of stuff.

Absolutely. Anytime you get a comment like, hey, come on, man, you gotta do a little bit better than that. You're just thinking, give me right. Give me right.

That might be the worst trip he gets all day. Like you're just like, man, they're kind of killing. Like you kind of want to look good. You want to look like you can do something. Yeah. Like a dark visor. I wore a dark visor.

Yes. It's the best looking, that's the best looking piece of attire in the NFL. Those are tight. And they used to have like in the 90s, they had like the orange, like the reflective gold. Yeah.

Back when they like allowed that, dude, I know. Because you see a linebacker over the middle just like this and he looks like a, he looks like a Terminator or something, right? Like you just see gold reflective sheen. You don't see eyes. You're like, ooh, this is a badass look. Like that shit was tight. Just picturing like a Ray Lewis from my hand.

Yes, dude. With the orange and then you see the little ring go down with that linebacker face mask. Just roam in the middle. That really is swag. Like that, those teams were like, I remember when I was, when we were in high school, I went to the, you get taped up. And I asked the, there was a lady that taped us.

I was like, well, you give me the, the Bruce Smith tape? You remember his tape? It would come over the hand. Like, it was like a boxer's tape. So his hand was taped in addition to the wrist. It was like wrist. And then here, and she was like, no. And I was like, no, she's like, for what?

I was like, for what? I was like, Bruce Smith has. She's like, you ain't Bruce. Smith. That's so funny. High school, high school trainers are hilarious. Yeah.

They're just like catching hours. Yeah, yeah. They want to tape the minimal amount of people they possibly can. Of course. But that, hey, tape goes away too in the NFL. Tape does? Some people, as you get older,

as I got older at least, I stopped taping my ankles, stop taping. Did you really? Yeah. I always felt so much more like, stable. Yeah, secure.

You start to learn about the body, though. You immobilize the ankle, then it puts more pressure on the knee, which puts more pressure on the hip, and then it's the back. Really. And what about up here, though? Nothing either?

I went from tape and I started wearing wrist guards. So you just kind of strap them on real fast and then I broke this thumb. So I had to put like a little brace on there and then I tape like these two fingers. Do you remember everybody having tons of shit on and then Reggie White just was like just put the jersey on. Like just nothing. No gloves. And then just take people and go. I always think it's badass when you see the dude just have their like like fingers taped.

Yeah. The fingers taping. You kind of just whizling them a little bit. I feel like I got half a guys with their hand in the dirt. I think that shit is lame. I'm thinking of like DBs. Yeah, DB's got that looks hard. But like a dude with his hand in the ground

and he's got his knuckles in my bro, you ain't come on. Yeah. Like if you don't wear gloves, you're a psychopath to me. Yeah. The thought of hitting somebody without gloves on. Yeah, yeah.

I couldn't do that. Can you imagine him though? Like he would just show up completely nothing. Mm-hmm. And then take a like a 330-pound guy with that hump move and go like this. And you see the guy like just go falling down. Fly.

Flying down. Like he'd launch a guy like 10 yards There is nothing more embarrassing Than getting put on the ground like that It has to be right Unless you just catch one in the throat You get put on your ass And then they make the sack

And you're just like dude I am nothing What feels worse Getting like Having somebody's stronger than you Toss you Or somebody so fast that they just are past you And you're like fuck that Like they're back here and you're like

What's just happened Whiffing on somebody is tough but I feel like for me I could always like in my mind back you get changed these couple of things there's no worse feeling than having another man's hands on you and not have you can't do anything about it you can't do it yeah and you're just like I guess we're just gonna go where you want to go today wow yeah that's a tough feeling that's like the worst feeling actually ever so that's like it has to be too for like I just feel guys in the trenches because I know for me it's like you get out run or you get beat on your feet I'm thinking god damn what they were all right right you know what I mean

yeah oh my goddamn but I know coaches are like we should not have fucking ring cover one with content in the game. But like if I get, if I get bodied or something, you're kind of just like fuck on the way down. But, you know, like Marshawn Lynch, we always get God. Everyone gets got. But I feel like as an old lineman, it's got to be the like a demoralizing thing. Like you just get manhandled in the trenches. And you're like, you're a guy in the trenches.

That has to be. Yeah. When you stopped playing football, when did you start comedy? When was that like, when did you do that was a path? Great transition. Thank you, brother. That was good. We just been fucking talking ball the whole body.

We've lowered as well. It's time to get into dignity. I want to talk about. I mean, so I get to college. I realize, like, you know, I'm not. It is weird because it becomes like, I mean, you have more of it. Like, you know, it's like your identity.

You're like, oh, people are like, what are you? Like, I play football. In high school, you're like, I'm a football player. That's what you think you are. And then you get to have college and you're like, I'm not. I'm definitely like, there's players going to team meetings. I'm like, I'm ready to go. I'm like, oh, I don't play football.

And then you're just like, I don't know. I mean, I love doing comedy. so I'm making like comedy videos you know but like it's not even for no there's not it's not the internet it's not like like I want to share this video it's like they're they're like make a video for a communications class that's boring like do a do a video about like how how uh how the security works in the building like you know do like show us that you can do like a transition shot and then I would make mine like a comedic version of it. you know and then they were like the teacher like the fuck is this right like because i was trying to

make it funny right and then i the more you do that the more you're like i like this i like this right so you i keep making like comedy esk sketches but like for assignments and then when i finally get out of college um i get out in um 2001 i graduate and then yeah in june a two and then yeah in june a two 2001 and then I moved to LA January 2002. Like I actually, I remember that I arrive in LA January 2002 on the day that it's a, it's a bowl game. It's Ohio State Miami is playing that like a big time bowl game. And then I start doing, I start going to improv classes at the groundlings, which is like this renowned place where a lot of S&L people have come from. I start doing that in, like, April of 2002.

And I have guys that are in the class that are like, you should try stand-up. Like, they're just telling me. Like, you should try stand-up. You would like stand-up. I was like, because they did stand-up. And then a couple of them were like, because I was like, what do you do?

Like, I mean, I've seen stand-up, but like, how do you start? So I kind of tail them. They're like, just watch me. I'm going to do spots tonight. So they go and do like a spot here, a spot there. I just follow them around. And then one of them walks me into a place. and like when the lady is like oh what's up to this guy Nick he's like oh this Tom he's a comic

and I'm like what's up and she's like oh do you want to do I have like an opening next Saturday you want to do that spot and I was like yeah oh shit and then she's like all right you're booked and then it's just kind of and then I was like I'm doing a spot next Saturday like I've never written material or and so then it was just it was just on from like once I did it It is that addictive. You either are going to be like, I'm not doing that again or you're like, I got to do that again. And it was just like that.

So that was 2002. And then it was just a slow, you know. I used to do like one spot like every two months. And I'd be like, yeah, I'm doing some stand-up. Like, thinking that that's a lot. I mean, I just didn't know. Like, you have no kind of frame of reference for it. And the big clubs seem like so intimidating.

So I would just do like smaller shows, you know? like someone would be like come to this bar and do a show and I was I was kind of like scared to go into the clubs and then it just kind of just you know slow progression like grew from there yeah when did it like your first big break come with like breaking into the scene well I I mean one of my friends was actually um working for Jay Moore and Jay and he recommended me to be an opener and Jay let me do some opening so that was definitely a break because the improvs like that own so many clubs they before jay i was like can i you know work here and they gave me a showcase i i always tease the guy now when i whenever i see him his name is matt coman i go i got off stay and i had a good set

like you know when you have there's no like you can be delusional but i'm like i know when i don't do well. I did well and I was like, what's up? He goes, you definitely have something. Like, just keep at it. And I was like, and that was it. Like he wouldn't give, I was like, I have something. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, just keep at it. And I'm like, okay, and he didn't book me. But then when Jay requested me to open, then they were like, now you can do spots. You know what I mean? Like, he gave the green light and then they were like, now you can do spots. So that was a, that was a big deal, because then I could work more regularly, do get on. stage more.

So that was one. I did a couple of things on Comedy Central when people actually watched Comedy Central. Yeah. And there was stand-up on there. Do you like the little 30-minute sets or whatever? Yeah, that was, I thought that was actually, for some people, that changed their careers. It was called Comedy Central Presents. Yeah.

And that was actually the goal, right? Like, the goal was to get, because everybody who you fucking admired had done Comedy Central Presents. So, like, I just kept, I mean, that's all I wanted to do. So I did one of their shows. It was called Live at Gotham. That was, it used to be called Premium Blend. And then they made a new version called Live at Gotham. It was here at the Gotham Comedy Club in New York.

I did that show. That was supposed to be like the precursor to, like, getting it present. So then you would submit, what you do is you send in fucking tape or DVD. Oh, shit. Yeah. And you'd be like, here's my 30-minute set. And then the lady was like, you know, you're going to. going to get one, but not this year. And you're like, all right. So you'd work a whole other year.

Send in another set. And she's like, this is really good. Not this year. You're like, fuck. And then the third year, I got it. And then I remember I had a good presents. Because some people, like, it's one of those things where like, it's like having like a bad combine outing. You know, like you go, fuck. Like I, I don't know. I just didn't run well. I didn't, I threw up 225, eight times. Like this sucks. That happens to people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're still good.

And so that happens on these tapings where you're like, I hope this goes. And it went well. And I remember the lady that was producing it goes, this is going to change your road life, like touring. I was like, fuck. And I didn't want to like show too much emotion. I was like, fuck yes. Yeah. And then they open the new season and still popular at the time.

This is going into 2011. I'm like the feature. like highlight new season of comedy of presents and then it aired and you know you see the tweets and shit and you're like fuck are things like about to change man shit didn't change at all like nothing changed and I was like I mean got your hopes up a little bit I mean and then internally this is going to change your life you're probably thinking this woman knows everything yeah yeah and she produced all the carlin specials so she's like she's like she's like I mean, the real deal, you know?

And she was like, you know, she's like trying to like produce other things with me. She's like, this is going to, you're going to see like your life change. And I was like, you're trying to just like not get too excited. It'd be like someone being like, you're going to get a phone call tomorrow from the chiefs. Like I know you're enjoying college right now, but things are about to change. And you're like, okay. You're just kind of like, all right, cool. And then chiefs are like, who?

I don't know. Like, you're just like, what the fuck? So they You know, you just keep going I remember like the big bump was that I think a club was paying me 1,500 a week to do six shows And they went to 1850

And they're like, see? Your life's changed. You're like, all right, great, baby. So you just keep doing that And then I did, I did in 2013 I shot my first Netflix special But I wasn't for Netflix. It was shot on spec

Which means you pay to, somebody pays for the production And then you have it And then they shop it. So they sent it to like Comedy Central. That's where you wanted to be. People don't remember. That's where you wanted to be.

And Comedy Central passed. They were like, no. And then they sent it to Showtime and they were like, no. And HBO was like, are you fucking out of your mind? And then Netflix took it. And it was like a consolation prize. It was like, well, the USFL's back. Yeah, yeah.

Which is wild the thing about now. Yeah. Because that's where everybody wants to be now is Netflix, right? Oh, yeah. because it's just like it's the eyeballs. I mean, this thing is always changing. We don't know what's going to happen in next year or five years. I mean, I'm sure the landscape will change.

But for the last decade, it is Netflix. Netflix is where you want to be. And so when they told me we're going there, I was like, I was like, you mean the place you send DVDs to? Fuck. Yeah, that's what it was. And it was a slow. It wasn't like it came out.

And then I was like, oh, shit. It was slow. Like, it was like, I would do a club and they were like, you sold like some tickets this week. I was like, oh, really? I wasn't even thinking about the special because it was like five months later.

And then all of a sudden they were like, hey, you sold out the club? And I was like, for real? We weren't like, it was the special. We were like, how did that happen? And then it started to go like, oh, this special has gotten traction. I was like, no way.

But it was very slow. And by the end of the year, they were like, you're selling out every show at the club. How fired up, getting that kind of feedback, like, man, it's really starting to get around. It is fucking,

it's amazing. It is amazing. And you, you know, it's like you don't want to boast. You don't want to go like, fuck yeah. You're just kind of like,

is this for real? Like, you can't believe it's real. You can't believe it's real. Because, like, it's so hard, you know, to grind,

like, you're just like working at it. And at the time, I mean, whatever, that's 10, I was 34, 30,

like, you've been doing it for 12 years. years. You're like, I don't know if it's ever going to change much from this. And then to find, like, to sell out the clubs and you're like, you just can't believe that people are out there and like, full. And they're just, they want

and they're like, I saw your shit. It's fucking, they love it. You can't believe it. And not to mention that you get like real checks. You're like, this is a real, this is crazy. Real money. It's crazy. Yeah. Every level of it is crazy. But at first, it seems like

monopoly money. You're like, this is what I used to make in a year, you know, like that, like, for real, like a year. God, what a feeling. Yeah. What a fucking feeling that is, dude. It's crazy. It is a crazy feeling. It's got to be, and just hearing the, you know, obviously, like, love ball and everything

else and then talk about high school and then like, damn, you wanted to play in college and everything else. So obviously that competitive nature and that fires there. So when you are starting to sell out and start to, like, get over the hump and everything else, like, you can imagine the energy that he had when he's realizing, like, you know, it's starting to fucking have. Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was, it's like, it's beyond.

And I kind of, you know, I know it because I've experienced it now. So when I see it happening for other comics, like, I'm very excited. I'm like, I know what's happening to you right now, you know? Is it, is that a split world, the comic world? Is there guys that are like, for the most part, are comics excited for other comics? Or are there other, like, is it kind of 50-50, like, hey, we don't want to help or we do want help? Because that's kind of how the NFL is. Like, you guys come in.

Some guys are like, hey, come on, let's show you how it goes. Or other guys are like, fuck off. You're not taking my job. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little bit of that. I mean, that's that the guys that are whatever, like standout, whatever, they're just insecure because, like, they don't realize that there's enough, there is enough room. Like, well, you guys, there's a real, there is roster spots. Yeah.

Right? With what we do, there's no such thing as, like, if he's funny, you're done. Yeah. You're no longer funny. Yeah. It's not like that. But I think some people don't realize that. that like we can all work and do shows and sell tickets.

Like it's not really a threat to you. And I actually feel like great stand. Like when I watch a standup and they're like legit really good, I don't go fuck. I'm like this is, I get excited by it. Like I find it kind of inspiring, you know? I'm like,

oh, this is all like really good standup is exciting. And it makes me want to do standup. It makes me want to get back on stage. I'm like, that was so fucking good that I want to. do more stand-up, you know. Shitty stand-up makes me, like, want to go home. Yeah. Go take a nap. Yeah, I'm like, this sucks.

Yeah. I get anxiety. I want to leave the room. Like, when I'm watching it, I'm like, oh, fuck. And I just, like, I walk out of the room. But when they're good, I want to sit there and watch it like anybody else, you know, yeah. When you're coming up and you've already found your voice, you found your cadence, you found your timing.

How do you go and watch other comics that are making it and doing well that have similar humor to you and not take their shit? because it seems like a very difficult job to not, you know, snipe someone's joke and change it up a little bit. Yeah, exactly. Like you hear something, you're like, and that was solid?

I feel like... And the thing that comes to my mind is, like, growing up, like, when I was, you know, getting, like, turning like 12, 13, like Dane Cook was big. And I love Dane Cook. I thought it was awesome. But then as you get older,

more media, more podcasts come out, people are kind of hating on Dane Cook. I'm not asking you to do that. But people are saying Dane Cook stole from Louis C.K. with the rolling of the R's and all this different stuff. Like, how do you not take that stuff? Was that ever a struggle for you?

No. I mean, I think there's just such an established thing where it's usually when you see somebody who's like, you hear a great joke, you just go, fuck. Like, God damn, I wish I would have thought of that. Right. But it's like he did it. Like when you see it, you're just like, that's done now. You know?

Yeah. So it never occurs to you to go like, how can I make that mind? You kind of just go like, I need to fucking write more. I need to come up with some shit. But yeah, no, the, and which, like, look, the real thing is that that's why I think so many of us, myself included, lean so hard into talking about our lives because there's no, like, you can't. It's uniquely yours. Exactly.

If I talk to you about, like, my wife, my kids, my dad, my travels, like, you know, my experiences, is there is no chance that I'm talking about what you're talking about. Like it's so uniquely mine. So I think that's something that has really evolved in stand-up is like people have really a lot, not everybody, but a lot of people just really lean into talking about their personal experiences because there's no, you're not going to cross-contaminate anything. But I fucking, I mean, yeah, I watch jokes where I'm like, that was so fucking good. And my thought really is like, I wish I would have thought of that.

Fuck you, you, piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah. It would almost suck. Like, I feel like, if I get it almost suck, like, you're doing your own thing. You don't really watch a whole lot. And then one of your jokes is similar to somebody else. Now, I have that.

People like, oh, you kind of, and then you're just thinking, I would assume that you're just thinking like, well, fuck, I didn't know. I'll tell you what I have said a few times. I've seen somebody do a bit that something similar to what I'm doing and I'm in the room. And I always tell them in that moment. Like, hey, just so you know, I have a bit very similar to what you're. you're saying right now. Because it's something that's not out. If it's out, then I'm just, I'll be like, oh, they're doing something similar to

something I have out. Yeah. So they're going to look like they're doing my bit. Your fans will let them. Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. And the people will, I mean, I've, I've had people tell me, they're like, you're, that bit is similar to so-and-so's and I'll be a look.

And either they're not similar. And you're like, that's not even remotely close. There's just like, we both have a bit about. hats and you're like you stole his bit. I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, we're both a lot of talking about hats, you know? But I've also told people like, I've seen something similar and then I go, I look at when they came out and if my shit came out first, I'm not even accusing the other person

to taking it. I'm just like, hey, just so you know mine came out a year before and then that person like shuts down. Yeah. But I've told people because you want to tell, you want to tell somebody so that they don't think, like if somebody is up there and they do their fucking hat bit and you're you're like, I'm doing a bit right now. You want to tell them if they see you

because you want them to go, hey, I didn't come up with that after I saw you that day at the club. I'm doing it right. That's why I tell them in the moment, right? But that happens, that's a normal thing to happen where you go, we're both talking about fucking ice or whatever, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just letting you know that I am also exploring what it is to have sub-freezing water in my glass. So. When you have a, like a platform is as big as you do, like you and Burr with two bears, two bears one cave and just all the, you kind of have like a network and as big as your brand is, what is the benefit? And if it's as simple as finances, then I guess that's what the answer would be.

But what is the benefit of being on like a Netflix or a streaming platform versus you just doing your own thing because you have such a big audience to yourself? No, it's actually a good question. I mean, everything has changed. I mean, one of the things that is like obvious is that. that you can have great success with posting a special on YouTube. Like YouTube, people were like seeing as like for a minute, like, oh, things didn't work out for you. Right.

You had to put it on YouTube. And then you see what's happened with specials on YouTube that when they hit, they fucking explode. I mean, Shane. Dude, that stand up in Austin has got to be one of my top five. It's one of my top five. It is so fucking funny. When I just told, I saw him yesterday. And I was, I mean, I've told him this before that when I first was, you know, I'd heard about him.

And I saw a clip and I was like, it's funny. And then his special came out. It first came out. I was sent the, you know, whatever, the link. I click on it. And I realized that like 15, 20 minutes have gone by. And I'm like, and the reason that like I'm like, surprise is like normally like I tap out. fast. Like I'll watch stand up for like three minutes and like turn it off, you know, a special.

And then I'm like checking again. I'm like, I'm about to finish this thing. It's like a whatever, 50 minutes or something. I turn it off and I was like, that is the most engaged and hardest I've laughed at a special in a long, like in a while. And it was a YouTube special that like he was, it's so good. Like it's also like it is my wheelhouse of what I find funny. Like he like, like, it, You know what I mean? Like, there's genres of things that people, like, it. No question. It really hit me in my spot where I was like, this is so fucking funny.

And yeah, I mean, I love that special. I think it's one of the best specials of the last five years. Yeah. The Alabama football, the Fox News, Dad is just all of it. The dad shit is probably what made me laugh the hardest. Like, when he's, when he talks about like, when he's like, he's drunk and he wakes up to like, like, what's going on in Israel? Like, the bomb each other.

Like, that shit made me laugh. Whoa. So, yeah. Whoa. That should made me laugh. It's a little fucking... The thing that is so funny to me about Shane is what's so funny to me about you and your stand-up is like, Shane can say so little and have such a presence and

just a little movement and the timing. Like, when I watch Sledgehammer, you're literally having a conversation with your kid or with your dad and you're like, are just doing eight words. in the span of 30 seconds. But the way you put the words and where you put them, it's fucking hilarious. Yeah, thanks, man. Thanks.

I mean, it's the type of thing, yeah, that, like, I mean, little things, the nuance of things is what makes me laugh the hardest. More so than like the, you know, the big punchline is always something you want. But like, it's the little stuff that makes me remember and love stuff. Yeah. You know, like the little facial expressions, the paws being in the right, like, that's what you work on too, you know? The callbacks that happened.

callbacks. All the... All the... All the... All backs are always a fun little treat. Yeah. So I feel like that's a lot of your fans, like watching it too. You just see the reaction by a lot of your fans.

Like when you do hit the callbacks throughout the entirety of the special. And everyone's just clapping because it's funny, but it's also like, man, like, well done. Like, that would have to feel... That would have to feel so sick. Yeah, you want to, like... You don't want them to be too, like, you know, for lack of a better, like, to eat... You want to weave them in a clever way. Because then they're kind of like, oh, like, there it is.

Yeah. As opposed to just, like, dropping it. whenever. So like, like making a callback feel organic. So it's like it's in a bit 10 minutes later, but it is, you know, it's a callback to something, but it's, it feels natural in the newer bit or in the later bit. That's like a fun thing, I think, to. It's like an appreciation clap that's happened. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's fun. By the way, I have to mention because, because I did see Shane yesterday that he was like, we, if you can watch, it, it came out today. I was like, how was the beer Olympics?

He goes, you dodged a bullet. He goes, it sucked. No, he's lying. He's lying. And I was like, shut up. And then what we got into was, first of all, yes, he did show me bruise. He's like, this is a weak old bruise, is still yellow. And I was like, here's what it is.

You hang out with these guys. And you're like, just a fucking, they're just good guys. Like the regular guys. I go, but when you take these fucking assholes, these pro athletes, and you just go, we're competing? I go, this switch happens that you forget that they're monsters. Like, they're actual literal monsters. He's like, dude, I had a guy grabbed me by my neck and hold me.

He goes, I thought we were playing. I thought we were like fucking around. Is this you? That's me. And then he kept talking. I'll show it to you. He goes, I got beat the fuck. And I was drunk so I didn't know what was happening to me until the next day.

And he was like, it hurts so bad. Dude, this is why Shane's such a bitch. Okay, tell me, tell me. Because that whole wrestling, that's me and Shane. That's the fucking... Yeah, he looks like he's suffering right there. Yeah, that doesn't look like... Someone made a meme out of that?

Taylor has him like that, like in the pool and he's dragging him. Shane's tapping like three or four times and Taylor's just dragging him throughout the pool. You can just tell he's in an absolute... The shoving, he goes... Yeah, he goes, Taylor's a professional shover. He's shoving me. He fucking...

So here's how it started. We were in my man cave and we're kind of fucking around. because I do, I think Shane's hilarious, and I love being around him, especially when he's got a couple drinks in him, and he kind of comes out of a shell a little bit. And he starts, you know, what are you going to do? Pussy, what are you going to do?

And he starts fucking aching it on. So we end up on the couch. There's a photo of us on the couch. I'm like full mounted on him. And I'm like holding him. And he's like, he's choking, but like, you're a bitch. Like still aging it on.

And then shirt like, Will gets in a fight with this guy of the lead singer of Midland. Those him in the pool starts wrestling him. And then J.P.'s like, hey, get Shane in the pool. So I like, you know, Shane. We got to get him in this fucking pool So I body toss him in there And you can see in this video

He's like, you don't want this And he kind of takes his shirt off We start going but he instigated 95% of that shit Him and Bert would lose in a competition And then Shane would find me and Will And come up behind us and be like You're being nasty

You're being a bad host man You're such a bad host Well I'm like trying to shoot a beer pong ball I'm like dude I'm gonna fucking end this guy He said an NHL player Yeah James He goes he goes This dude legit

legit hurt me and then came back it was like my bad on that yeah those hockey players they look like sticks they are strong and sturdy individuals they're playing like that's after

all the competition is over it's like and they fucking fight like they legit fight yeah oh yeah and they can booze too they can put it down and they get and start playing pool basketball and I looked over for a minute I could have sworn

three people were drowning at one point it was just its elbows are being thrown dudes are getting thrown everywhere it was as fratty and as energetic as it possibly can get. Yeah, you got to watch Shane talk about it. You said it's out today? It's out today. Two bears?

No, no, it's his. I came out because I did it here. Oh, you went out to, oh, dude. I went to Queens. How wild is his pot? That's funny. I was out there, what was that, a month ago? He's like, hey, you want to come do the pot?

I was like, hell yeah, dude. And then I call him and I get there. I'm like, hey, am I in the right spot? And then we come in. I'm like, why are you living like this, man? He's like, is how you make comedy. Yeah. He lives.

He lives like a hoarder, right? He lives like he's like a college student. You go upstairs and all the boys you're sitting there playing UFC like video games. It's such a departure from my life. Yeah, I bet. I live like a fucking baller. And I'm like, what the fuck?

Yeah. But it's a... Yeah, it's a choice. Yeah, it is a choice. Yeah. All right, boys. We will... We interrupt this episode to bring

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and making videos and like doing all that? Did you ever want to do like Mad TV or SNL? Definitely. I mean, I literally thought that when I was at that ground link, The groundlings, if you look it up, it's like, it's the West Coast Improv School that so many people you know would go to. It's like Second City, right? Yeah, exactly. Okay.

It's the L.A. version of that. And it's, I mean, Will Ferrell came from there, foul and like, endless people. So when I found that out, I was like, oh, that's where I'll go. And then I'll do SNL. Like, I literally thought that was the way to do it. and then they have tier like they have it's a school so like there's entry like level one level two like that then there's this thing called riders lab then there's sunday company and then there's the ground links right so it's a whole thing when you get to writing lab if uh they call you it means that

you like you at least have some chops you like if you suck they're they don't call you for that and they go, well, they call you, and it's to like, you know, start working on the writing aspect of it. If you can pass on it, you can go, like, I can't do it right now, and they'll call you a second time. But if you pass a second time, they'd never call you again. That's the policy. And so the first time they called me,

I had a legit, I can't do it right now. I don't remember what it was. But the second time they called me, it was, I really, I realized, I started doing stand-up. I remember I'd, I mean, you know, I got 50 bucks to do it here, $100 to do it there. And I was like, I think this is the path I need. Like, I felt like if I go do that, it's going to be a distraction from stand-up.

Like, it's, I'm spread out in a way that I can't register. So I said no. But I still liked doing sketched up. Like, I, you know, I've filmed sketches over the years and posted them. and I've acted in a few things. I have like a couple things that are like legit. Like I have a thing with Bert that we're going to do. I have another movie and development at a place.

And then I filmed like my own version of, I filmed the pilot last year that I paid for. Really? Yeah, yeah. And I sold it. So like we're going to go make the series. That's fucking awesome. Yeah.

And that's like I wrote it. it, I'm in it, I produced it. Spent fucking so much money to make it look. I just didn't want it to look like like a sketch show because a lot of them look so low production. So we don't, like, we actually call them shorts. Like, you know, like, if you ever watch Black Mirror,

like, an episode of that will have like, you know, it's like a short film. And that's how we tried to make this series, like short films. Any idea when that's going to come out? Well, it'd be cool if the strike was resolved. That is true. You probably get. I mean, I want them to get what they need, obviously, and what they want.

But my guess would be that it would be late next year when we would be able to put that out. Yeah. You, I know when we had Bert on and we're kind of like asking about your guys' dynamic and everything else. And he alludes to you being like the brains behind the operation. Like over the years, obviously, you know, humble cat. But how do you learn to, how have you learned how to build all of these things out over time? Like, do you have a, like, a knack or an interest, like, when you're building out, like, you have a media network. You have all these things going on, like balancing all that and learning about all that because it does seem like you are a very savvy behind the microphone, or, you know, behind the camera and everything else?

No, I think it's like, you know, I'm an observer and I try to like learn from what other people are doing too. So I do a lot of that. Like I do a lot of like seeing what works for other people and then following instincts and like, you know, not being not being resistant to like the new whatever is something that something is like coming about. Like, you know, hey, whatever. It could be like TikTok is where everyone's going and not being like, I'm not going to do that. You know, that's not from, like, just being open to the fact that that you can't, you can't just go, I do it this way. This is what we do. Like, being open to those ideas and trying things.

Like, I'm, I think if you're a comic, you're natural entrepreneur, like you man it, you own your business. And that means that you're not totally risk averse, like you're going to take risks. And so, like, we take risks in things. Like when we do these, we do these live streaming shows. like to produce them you have to spend money you have to like go ahead and put together a different type of show like it's like it's like almost like a variety show like we're going to have music we're going to have this it's a risk and then you go I'm gonna I'm gonna do $10 like it was a big thing was like people were like trying to like really have us agents so like you should charge more you know I was like no let's just try to do volume like let's just try to do volume and see if we can do a lot of tickets but make it affordable 10 bucks is like like pretty affordable ticket. And so I'm open to like try things and I go, if this doesn't, like when I shot the pilot, I spent over a million dollars to shoot it.

So you go like, and then people are like, what if you lose money? I'm like, then it didn't work out. But like the upside is maybe it's exactly what I wanted to make. And even if I don't make money on it, I have this thing I wanted to make. And so I can't, you don't make, I don't make just decisions based on is this. going to be financially beneficial. Obviously, you want to make money, but like, you have to do things that are like fulfilling creatively. And to me, there's like something about in this era that we're in right now, the, I like the adventure of trying something and seeing how it, like, how it ends up.

Even if that's like trying, like, we develop new podcasts. And I'm like, you don't know how these are going to, like podcasts, you know what I mean. You guys do it. It's like, you go, well, let's get together, do this pot. Do fucking 500 might be, people might listen to it. and it's considered a bomb. And there is no such thing as like if you do put the, like, there's been celebrities that have gotten together to do podcasts that fail, like legit, huge names. So I get excited about trying new things.

It's just like when you get on stage, you try things. That's what feels good to like try a joke and have the potential for it to bomb. Like if there's no potential for it to bomb, it's not as as rewarding internally. as, you know what I mean? Like a safe joke. Right.

Like where you're like, that's still get a laugh. Just a little softball pitch. Yeah, those are like, it feels good to get the laugh. But part of you goes like, if you would have tried something else that was like riskier, that feels more fun.

And I think that applies to like all the stuff you're saying. Like all those things is like you want to take a risk. You want it to be a calculated risk. But there's no, there's no thrill in just like playing everything safe. You know what I mean? Yeah. Was there ever a fear when you're,

when you had kids about taking more risk? There was a fear in not working enough. Which is a different thing that most people say, right? Yeah. A lot of people are like, I got to make sure I spend more time with my kids. When she was pregnant and I was like, we're having a baby, I definitely hit a switch where I just went like into, I need to work a lot.

And I went hard. And it was out of the idea of like providing. Yeah, because I was like, I mean, up to that point, it was the two of us. Like, you realize that like, if it's just the two of you, you can fucking get by. We'll go to Trader Joe's and get some frozen fucking burritos and like, you know what I mean? Like, you eat, you have dinner, you don't have dinner. It really doesn't matter. It's like if I, if you don't, if you're not making a lot, you're like, well, you know, hopefully I'll get another gig next week and I'll have enough for rent, like shit like that.

Yeah. You're like, I mean, I always wanted to work. But like when when a kid comes, yeah, I was like, it wasn't even, I didn't even have to like externally say it. It was like it was so internal of like it's like you, it's like the modern version of like hunter gatherer mode where you're just like I have to provide. So that I mean I went into like six gear with like working. Yeah. Yeah. Seems like you have an incredible work ethic.

When you look at you and Bert. Yeah. Who would you say who has the better work ethic? well Bert would be like I mean I'm doing a lot more actually right now I'm doing the festival

is fucking crazy no I think we both you know I think we both have dad or I had a dad who like we were like very traditional work you know get up at 530 whatever go to work

like they're just like old school Americana dads they're like yeah of course you work right so then like Like when opportunities come, like they have arrived for us now. We're like, we have opportunities. Like, I mean, neither one of us is like, yeah, whatever.

Yeah. You know, like, we're just like, oh, yeah, you go to work. Yeah. So we both work a lot. I mean, I've, like, I did a tour that I think was insane. When I look back on, like, it was too much, meaning, not like, I couldn't handle it. It's just like, for having a family, it's just like, it's not. conducive to do that many shows and tour that much.

So I'm more conscious of it. And like, I'm literally going to see my agent here to plan out the next, like, you have, we have to have more weeks off. You know? But it's not because, like, I don't want to work. It's like I have to be able to be home. Like, I have little kids, man. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean, Bert is going, in my opinion, too hard. Like he goes in, he, I think it's insane. Yeah, I think it's almost like avoiding life. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm like, what are you doing? And then he, because like, Bert does this thing where he knows him when I say this. He'll be like, yeah, I just, I don't know, I just took on too much. I'm like, yeah, but you're in control.

Like, you can say it. He's like, I don't know. Like, I don't know. He has a hard time saying no. Definitely. Yeah. Definitely has a difference. He does give himself to a lot of different to as much as he can.

even coming to beer Olympics when I hit him up the next day and was like, hey, man, you know, I know you get pulled a lot of different ankles and you're just blowing up. He has been for a while now. And it's like, oh, I appreciate you just like taking the time. And because you could even see it at the beer Olympics. I don't know about you, but you can see a little bit of a, you could just see like he was worn down a little bit. And then he expressed that when he sent the message back. He's like, hey, you know, I was running a little low, but very appreciative.

You know, Byrd. Of course. He's the best. No, he's the best. It does seem like he just goes fucking billion a million pounds an hour. to I mean if he's trying look if he wants to hear this okay you're working harder he got to know he did ask me to ask that question yeah he I mean yeah but I you know we did a Zoom call for this thing the other day and we get on he's like I'm like are you

all right he's like I'm dying I was like yeah I don't want that to be real like could you chill the fuck out for a second but yeah he goes you know he'll do this I think he's going to take some a little bit of time at then he's He's got his fully loaded cruise. Then he goes back on tour, then into another production. Yeah, it's like, I don't know, man. I get it because you go, these are incredible opportunities. You work your whole career for these opportunities.

Then you get them, but you still have to, like, look, I'm saying it, like, I'm telling him, I'm telling myself, too. You still have to, like, figure out how to manage it. Yeah. Because you, you know, I guess you don't want to be like, no thanks, right, to the thing that you're like you always wanted to do. But you can't say yes to all of it. That's the part you have to figure.

You can't say yes to all of it. Oh, what time? Oh, fuck them. Give us three pet peeves of Burt Kreischer. Three of his pet peeves? Three pet peeves you have with him. Oh, that I have with him? No, like that you see of him.

Three pet peeves you have for Burt. Like what bugs you have? about Bert. Three things. Pretty easy. Number one would be as busy as he is. Just not responding to, like, I'm like, hey man, we're good friends. We're literal business partners.

And I've called you and texted you for four days. Oh, my bad. I'm like, yeah, no. Yeah. Like, I've been around you. when other people and I see how you I'm like don't fucking yeah answer me

my bad so that would that fucking irritates the shit out of me yeah I'm like whatever dude I know I know how you do this like pick up the fucking phone text me back that you can't talk simple enough so that makes me crazy

um what else makes me crazy about him he uh he will oh yeah he just won't like consider anybody else's emotions in the room so like he'll come in and i'll be like and he's like yelling at you know somebody on the staff and i'm like buddy buddy and he's like what i go yeah but he feels this way but i'll give i'll give him credit when you point that stuff out to him he'll be like you're right you're right you're right you're Nadav I'm sorry I didn't think about how you might have felt in this

it's literally like you're raising kids you know what I mean like your dad and you're just like yeah but your brother feels this way yeah and then he's like okay good point point sometimes I get a little ahead of so I do give him credit he gets very he gets like he gets so fucking like fired up in the moments of like fun

because he his whole thing is like how can I make something more like he wants every moment to be like if he came in here he's like let's make this the best podcast in the history of podcast like yeah right like he wants to he wants to manufacture fun even if it's like you know like it can't he doesn't want to have like an okay day mm-hmm every time you go like how was last night's thing it was the best night in my life and I go I know it wasn't and he's like what I go well if it was the best night like you've said it's been the best night you're like five hundred times so which one is it like most people have

an epic experience. You, I go, you had dinner. You told me it was the best dinner you've ever had in your life. You had the best coffee you ever had in your life this morning. The show was the best night. He goes, okay, all right, sometimes I embellish. I'm like, yeah, quite a bit. Dude, your bird voice is so funny.

It's like, he, but you know what I mean? Like, he really, and actually, a lot of that is tied to the, to, like, booze. And, like, he's the party guy. Because, like, the party guy wants the party to go on, right? Like, one time we hung out, I'm not a big drinker. And we had a couple of drinks and I was like, and it was like midnight. We're at this hotel.

I was like, all right. Like I'm going to go to bed. He goes, what? I go, I want to go to bed. He goes, why? I go, because it's fucking midnight. And I've had a few drinks and I'm tired. He's like, don't you want this feeling to keep going?

What? What feeling? He's like, just like that buzz. Like, don't you want it to just not stop? I was like, no. I wanted to put. my head on a fucking pillow and sleep. Like, are you crazy?

And he's like, I just want this to never end. I was like, that's not a healthy thought. Like, this shit will never end. But then he actually, he's not lying about that. Like, that is, you know what I mean? Yeah. And so, like, it has two sides because the upside is that he makes most things more fun. He just, you know, it comes in and you're like, oh, shit.

Like, a party just came into the room. But I'm like, he's a literal party. Now, by the way, he's in the last year, since he's, like, really, like, I don't know, exploded in popularity or whatever. Every time I see him, there's, like, eight people with him. I'm like, who the fuck are all these people? He's an entourage now. Like, he's like, this is my camera guy.

This is my sound guy. I'm like, what? He never, like, just rolls in solo anymore. That's wild. It's a party. It's a party where he goes. Yeah. And then they keep the party going.

seems exhausting but also be on the receiving end of it every time Bert walks into a room you're like fuck yeah dude I'm so happy he's here because he's such a good time and the thing about Bert

is when you see him and you talk to him a minute, two minutes you literally walk away going I feel like we're best friends he made me feel like man we're gonna be friends for life

I'm like I think we passed Tom as best friend no he does here's the thing he's very sincere he's very sincere and he doesn't do like he doesn't do like yeah like good to see you man like he's not like that he's like a look into your eyes and like this means so much to me he likes community he's you know

he is a frat guy frat guy has like a negative connotation the positive of it is like if you wanted to find the positive in that is somebody who like wants like a friendship fraternity to exist so like he goes let's all why don't we all just be friends and like hang out. Like, let's make this fun. And I'm just like, what? I want to go be alone. Yeah.

And he's like, no, come on. Like, he's always like, come join us. And like, you know, like that's... As an observer, it's a, you guys have a very interesting dynamic. You guys are both hilarious individuals in your own way. But it's interesting to see how, I mean, I'm assuming you guys are best friends. Would you call him your best friend? Yeah.

We're, yes. We're best friends. And he's like, you know, it is a, it is a balance. Like, part of the reason I think that it works for us is that I thoroughly, you know, enjoy him. Like a lot of people were like, how do you put up with this fucking lunatic? And I'm like,

yeah, but I enjoy, like he entertains the shit out of me. I find him. One of the first times we ever took a road trip together it was like years ago. And we drove up to Sacramento and we're driving back down from L.A. I mean, it's like hours drive.

I forget how many hours it is. And then on the way back from Sacramento, he goes, you know, you don't say much. And I was like, you haven't shut the fuck up. You haven't stopped talking. And he goes, yeah, that chucks out. Yeah, that chicks out.

But the thing is, I was like, yeah, but I'm, I go, I just literally, I would ask him a question. He would talk for 30 minutes straight. And then I ask him one more question. An hour has gone by with him just talk, talk, talk, talk. But I enjoy him. Like, I enjoy his company. And then he thinks that I'm fucking weird. And I'm like, I don't think I'm weird.

I think I'm pretty much like the voice of reason and you're fucking crazy. Yeah. But I enjoy your craziness. I know we got to let you go because people are, he's getting text, people are open the door. All right. But sledgehammer. Sledgehammer. Of all the specials you've done, what makes you so proud of this special?

I mean, look, I don't know if this is something that will always happen. Like, for me, it's like so clearly for me the, like what I'm most proud of. I toured for, usually I was on a two-year turnaround, right? and I felt I was felt fine about that, like meaning like I would shoot a special, start working on something new, two years would go by, and I'd shoot another one and put it out.

And pandemic contributed to this, but it was three years. And I just felt like it got, it's so much better, it's so much tighter. I became a better performer. Like I just, I like the special so much more.

And, you know, I just felt like it's a more, like you always want to get better. You know, so you just like, Like it feels like, like whatever, you know, evolved. Like, I've evolved as a person as a comic. It's like, it's more personal to me because, like, my dad died during it and we were very close.

And I talk about it, even though I make jokes about it, obviously. But so, like, it's stuff that is like, you know, it's more emotional for me. As much as it's not, like, an emotional thing to watch. It's like, all that to me was like, and it's a huge tour. Like, the culmination of a of a 21-month tour. is this special. So to me it's like, you know,

it was the most fun I've ever had shooting a special like by far. And I don't know, man. I'm just like, it's been out for a couple days. It's number one on Netflix.

It's the number one. Yeah, it's got, that's pretty cool. That's a big feeling. I said, we see your Instagram. No,

no, but I mean like, there's like an article today of like how it dethroned that Henry Cavill show, the witch or whatever. The Witcher? Yeah.

You know, I did see that. You know where I saw that? You were on my Instagram? On your Instagram? Yeah. Well, they said it. And I mean, they said it to me. I was like, I was like, yeah, dude.

They're like, do you want to post this? I was like, yeah. 100%. Of course. Throw that shit up there multiple times. And then the guy was so sassy. Post it twice in one day. The guy was so sassy who wrote it.

Yeah. Yeah. He was like, apparently, this guy has five specials on it. Apparently. Like it's not. You can just, you can't find that. Like, I don't even know how to verify this. But apparently.

this guy has five specials on Netflix and apparently people are watching it. And they're like, all right, man. That shit to me is fun. But honestly, it's not even about, it's not about that. It's about that like, I feel like when you do a special,

it's like when you're, you've been in a kitchen. You know what I mean? Like you've been making something and you go. Yeah. And you are excited. I don't believe anybody that isn't excited for people to like try it, right?

Yeah. And yes, some people go, this tastes like shit. But a lot of people enjoy it And then you go, well, that feels good Yeah, yeah Man, thank you. This has been an honor, bro.

No, I'm super... I'm sorry I couldn't make it to what would have been a horrific experience at the... You're coming next year. You're coming next year. You'd be a ref. You can be a ref next year.

You don't know. Actually, I might be fucking jacked. Fuck you guys up. Dude, I said, we didn't get to talk about it, but you've looked really good. You've lost a lot of way. We're going to get killed.

I know, I know. I know. I know. Hey, he's got the, what's it called? The shorthead. He's got a short head bicep. Short heads, shortheads play. If we play ball, dude.

You need the shortheads. Long heads take longer to develop. That'll look is good. That's what I'm talking. You got a good peak. Got a good physique. You guys, come on. You've healed up nicely since your basketball incident.

Thanks, brother. Thanks. I'll see you in the pool next year. No question. You will be more injured. Hey, have a great day. Big hugs, tiny kisses. Thanks.

Thanks so much, man. Hey, guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called,

Hey Jonas. We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it, but, you know, tired and sick. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. Another podcast from some SNL late night comedy guy, not quite. Unhumor me with Robert Smygel and friends. Me and hilarious guests from Bip. Bob Odenk Kirk to David Letterman help make you funnier.

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Those people are starving for banter. Listen to humor me with Robert Smigel and friends on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine an Olympics where doping is not only legal, but encouraged. It's the enhanced games. Some call it grotesque.

Others say it's unleashing human potential. Either way, the podcast, Superhuman, documented it all, embedded in the games and with the athletes for a full year. Within probably 10 days, I'd put on 10 pounds. I was having trouble stopping the muscle growth. Listen to Superhuman on the I-Hard Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.