Busy, Yet Pretty - Alone But Not Lonely

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

Have you ever found yourself with a large group of people, yet you feel so loney? Or have found yourself being physically alone, yet not loney? In this episode, your host Jadyn Hailey defines "alone but not loney" and how to achieve being fulfilled by your own presence. Tune into this episode with an decaf cashew milk latte as you're alone (but not lonely.) Take wellness to the next level with LMNT Easily find a top rated doctor in your area with Zocdoc Jadyn's Social Media platforms: - Instagram: Jadyn's Instagram & Busy, Yet Pretty Instagram   - Youtube: Jadyn's Youtube   - Tiktok: Jadyn's Tiktok   - My Amazon Storefront: Jadyn's Amazon   - Shop my Closet on Motom: Jadyn's Closet Favs   - Lemon8: Lemon8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, dolls, welcome to the busy yet pretty podcast. I'm your host, Jane Haley. If you are new here, I talk about all things wellness, living a healthy lifestyle, and ultimately becoming the best version of yourself. So I'm very excited about today's episode because I am so passionate about this episode, whether you have lots of friends, no friends, in a relationship, or single, a hyper-independent person, or someone who loves to be around people. This episode is a lot of friends. for you. So let's get into today's weekly review. This week, I've been really just trying to prioritize balance. It was Coachella this weekend and I honestly had Jomo. Joy of missing out. Actually, no, that's a lie. After I started seeing everyone there, I'm like, oh, that looks so

fun. I wanted to see Frank Ocean perform and everything. But you know what? Next year I will go for sure. And I did have the option to go to some events in Coachella, but I decided to stay back because I was listening to my intuition and my body was telling me I need to rest and just recharge because I am just not in the space to go right now. So I'm happy I listen to myself because this weekend was such a nice recharge moment. But this week I have just been prioritizing balance, inner peace, and just channeling my calmness. I'm really trying to work on stress right now and separating work from my personal life and having two different things rather than compiling all into one. because, again, I am my own manager, so I work for myself.

And I tend to want to do everything at once. And I realize doing everything at once can really lead to burnout. So I've just been prioritizing calmness and my personal life and my work life in two separate areas. Another thing this week is I have just been laying by the sun and I took my first summer dip in the pool, which felt so nice. The LA weather here is just crazy, though. It says it will be hot and it's cold then. so just fingers crossed it's a warm week but overall i have just been focusing on scheduling out everything to do throughout the week i think it's so important to schedule at least a week

in advance and you can totally change things and update things as you go but scheduling out your days a week in advance can really help with organization and it can also allow you to be more productive i'm recording this sunday which is the day before monday which it comes out tomorrow and I just spent my day just relaxing, slept in, ate a really good breakfast, and then I just ate lunch and I made myself a bagel. One side was a sweet side and then one was a savory one and just had some chocolate.

So good and just listening to my body, seeing what my body wants and needs, and I am just really enjoying peace. I really love just being calm in that piece. Moving on to my current obsession. My current obsession is Americanos that are of course decaf with a half pump of peppermint in it. I really want to start making my own Americanos at home though where I will add like an actual mint leaf in it rather than mint syrup. So I really want to try that out and see how it comes out and how I like it.

But so far I'm obsessed with those right now. Oh, and I'll also add a splash of almond milk in it. My next current obsession is being mindful of calmness. Like I said, I'm really trying to prioritize calmness right now. And I have just found it so, so relaxing when I really listen to my body and see what my body's craving. And if I feel so stressed out and overly stimulated by my surroundings and everything that's going on, it's really good to just relax and take time to be calm. So that has been a crab session.

Another crap session is my new hairstyle I've been doing. I've been using this really nice, like, curler. It's almost like a Dyson. It's not really curler. It's like for blowouts. And it just makes my hair look so unbelievably good. Just so swooped, so beautiful. I just love it.

And it just has been my favorite hairstyle recently. Another current obsession is guasheeing. I started guashering again last month. And oh my gosh, I swear every time I do it, I will instantly start seeing differences within like two weeks. and my face is just looking so much more snatched and it feels so much nicer when it has less like water weight on it. So it felt really good to start gwashing again and I just have been loving it.

Moving on to my goal of the week. My goal of the week is to do at least one calm slash mindful exercise per day. I actually got these really cute like dice that you roll in the morning and there's six different categories you roll each six dice but for each one it lands on you do that little activities so one is like breathwork one's movement one is about journaling one's like mindfulness and i can't remember the last one it's been a really good way for me to practice mindfulness and calm exercises so i've been loving that and it's my goal of the week to start doing that every morning before i touch my phone next up is to follow a checklist slash planner i really

like checking things off a planner rather than just going based off a list in my head. So I really want to start doing that to be more organized and productive. And lastly, I want to order some pots and pans because your girl has been living in LA for seven months in a new place and does not have any pots or pans yet except for one pan that my mom so generously lended me for now. And I really want to get some pots and pans that are cute and match my style. so I can make cooking videos. Next step is a self-love question to ask yourself.

How do you incorporate calmness into your life? I love that question so much because I think it's so nice to prioritize calmness, as I said, that has just been the highlight of my episode, honestly, so far is calmness. So I really want you guys to journal that question and think about that question. Next step is an affirmation. I display confidence in every room and situation I'm in. I love that so much because it's so important to affirm to herself that we are confident no matter what regardless of the situation.

So I just love that. Lastly, my challenge for you guys this week is compliment a stranger. Very simple, very easy. Go up to a stranger. Tell them you like their hair. Tell them you like their personality. Tell them anything. Tell them something that will just make them feel good and that you really find positive

about them. Lastly is a podcast review. This review is from Daisy Darling. I love your podcast so much. It makes me so happy. I love listening to it on my Sunday resets, Hot Girl Walks, and while I just work on becoming my best self. I love that so much.

Thank you so much for the sweetest review. It makes me so happy to hear how you guys are finding this as such a positive impact to becoming your best version of you. If you want to be featured on next week's episode, feel free to go leave a podcast review over Apple Podcast. Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. Today's episode is on Alone, but Not Lonely. And the title may catch you off guard, not really understanding what that means.

So I will explain because this is a topic I am so passionate about. This episode is going to be about touching base with our independence in a feminine way. Independence comes from masculinity. and I think it's so important to realize how beautiful it is to embrace independence in a feminine way. So that's something we are going to be touching on. And to get into what alone but not lonely means, when people hear the word alone, they tend to think of sad and lonely and just so unhappy. When alone does not mean lonely. Those are two different words.

A lot of people think they're the same thing. They are two separate things because alone does not mean. lonely and lonely does not mean alone. And what I mean by that is you could be physically alone and feel lively and surrounded by your own presence. Alone is not physically being by someone, but like I said, it doesn't mean that you're not fulfilled and accompanied by your own presence, which is feeling that quote loneliness that you'd be feeling being alone. Just how vice versa is, you could be feeling lonely and isolated and in need of presence while not being alone. You could be with a group of friends. You could be with a crowd of people. You can be physically with an entire

group of people all talking and including you, but you could still feel alone. So that makes you not alone, but you could feel lonely. Being with a crowd of people and being with a lot of friends does not mean you don't feel lonely. Yes, you may not be alone because you have people physically by you, but you can still feel lonely and isolated and not a part of that group. Many times you can be surrounded by the biggest crowd of literally thousands of. thousands of people, yet you can still feel isolated in this world. But this is something that society hasn't fully grasped. Your own presence and how you nurture yourself can provide enough presence to be more than

the presence you could feel from a thousand people. Think about this example. There's definitely been a time where you've been in a group with maybe a group of friends at school or work where you're around people, but you may feel not fully included and may feel isolated from them, even though you're. you're physically with them, you could still feel really lonely. And you know, there may be a time where you were alone physically, yet you were never lonely because you felt that your own presence was giving enough community to you.

The way we show up for our independence is so important. Why do you think I always preach how you have to prioritize independent self-care, whether that's in a relationship, whether you're not in a relationship, but you always do things with your friends, whether you live at home and you always do things with your family? No matter who you're with, you have to prioritize independent self-care. You have to start loving your own company. If you feel the need to constantly be physically surrounded by others to distract you from being alone with yourself, then it is so necessary for you to work on self-love and your independence.

You may not even realize how desperate you are needing independence right now. Independence is a beautiful thing. And when you put that self-care to work on your independence, you will realize how beautiful your own presence can be with just yourself. So at the end of the day, if you cannot imagine spending an entire week alone by yourself, not talking to anyone. Yeah, of course, that's not ideal.

We love to talk to people. We love to feel included. We love to just talk and have conversation. But if it feels like the most absolute worst thing in the world for you to have a week completely alone, not talking to anyone, then you need to prioritize your independence. That just shows you don't love yourself like you love the presence of somebody else.

Listen, it's you at the end of the day, okay? Nobody in your life is guaranteed but yourself. I've been taking so much time to learn more about hydration because I realize healthy hydration isn't just about drinking water. You lose both water and sodium when you sweat. Both need to be replaced to prevent muscle cramps, headaches, and energy dips that result from one, dehydration, which is less common, and two, low electrolytes. I started incorporating Element into my routine, and it's helped so much with my

fatigue. Element is a tasty electrolyte drink mix. Just mix this flavorful electrolyte drink into your water bottle, and you're good to go. There's no carbs, sugar, or artificial junk in Element. Just Electrolites in a great taste. I love how Element perfectly fits everyday health. Mom's exercise enthusiasts, big sweaters, sauna, and you guys know how I love the sauna. I love Element because it's so easy to incorporate into my routine. The best part is it's totally risk-free. If you don't like it, Element will give your money back with no questions asked. In the show notes, I have a link special for you guys to get a free Element sample pack with

any purchase. Incorporate Element into your daily routine and let me know what you guys think because I know you guys will love it as much as I do. Again, get a free sample pack with any purchase with the custom link in my show notes. You will be the only person in your life from start to finish. You began this life with yourself and you will end your life with yourself. We also appreciate others' presence more when we value our own presence. You have to begin obsessing over your own company.

If you don't obsess over your own company, how do you expect for you to have your own back in the future when a situation arises? Along the way, if your friend is being rude to you, or if you're significant others being rude to you, are you just going to go tolerate that? No. You're going to stand up for yourself because you're going to stand up for yourself because you're you love yourself and show that you're not going to accept that. But if you have a fear of being alone and a fear of being lonely and being in your own

presence, let me just say you're going to cave and let them treat you that way so that they stay with you in that relationship, whether it's a friendship or relationship, but to prevent you from being physically alone. What an awful life it is, to live on eggshells, allowing people to be rude to you, allowing people to treat you a certain way so that you prevent the situation of you being lonely. or alone. Being alone is so beautiful. We spend the most time with our self in this world. You don't spend it with your friend. You don't spend it with your boyfriend. You don't spend it with your mom. Yeah, you may spend a lot of time with all these people, which is amazing and beautiful.

But you have to remember, you spend the most time with yourself in this world. So if you are fearing and avoiding being with your own self and not sitting with your own presence at the end of the day, then there is lots of work to be done in a totally separate subject. But if you're worried about someone else not liking you or does someone else like me and just hoping everyone likes you, how do you expect someone to like you when you don't even like being with your own self? This shows you so much because if you have found yourself caught in situations where you're accepting rude behavior from someone in your life or allowing negative thoughts and

wondering, does this person like me? What if this person doesn't like me? If you're thinking or allowing all those things, that means you're not enjoying your own presence like you should be. There is not another you. Okay. There is not another life for you to enjoy this version of you. Enjoy this version of you. Okay. Become your own best friend. You have to become your own best friend in order for you to enjoy your own presence and for you to actually find meaningful relationships. There are lots of amazing, supportive, beautiful people in this world who want true friendships and relationships, but there are also people who want to waste your time. You will narrow down and cut out all those people who want to waste your time and who will not treat you right

if you just begin to love your own self and be okay with being alone. Because being alone does not mean lonely. Bringing up an example of being alone but not lonely, before I got into a relationship a few years back, I prioritized my independent self-love and self-care. I was really bullied in school. I had an eating disorder. And when I was recovering and really trying to touch base with my self-love and independence again, I gained such love for myself.

And I literally became my own best friend. I then later on got in a relationship. Yet no matter what in that relationship that I was just so in love with and I was so dedicated to, I still took time to prioritize self-love. So I had independence on the side of my relationship. So if anything ever happened in my relationship and I worked to physically be alone and not with that person anymore,

I would not feel lonely. Yes, I may be alone, but I will not feel lonely. And that also comes from me enjoying my own presence where I was not scared. If something were to happen and if this person treats me wrong, I am okay with breaking up with them because I do not fear being alone and being with my own presence. And skip a few years, when something did arise,

I loved myself enough and I knew my worth not to stay in a relationship where I ended up breaking up with someone, but knowing I am okay of being alone. When I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and I went straight into being single right away, I instantly was okay with being alone. I sat with myself. I went in tune with my emotions.

I was okay and I enjoyed my own presence where it wasn't scary to be alone because I enjoyed it and I prioritized it before and during my relationship or then after it was a smooth breeze for me to be alone. If you have to constantly put a bandage on not being with your own presence by hanging out with people, hanging out with your significant other, constantly talking to people, constantly doing something and making plans so you're hyperactual. and not doing things alone. You have to figure out, why do I not want to be alone? Is it because I feel bored? Is it because I am sad? Is it because I don't do the same things I would do when I'm with friends? If that's the reason, go have a date with yourself right now, okay?

Schedule a reservation. Go somewhere. Sit with yourself and have a date with yourself. The minute you take one step of doing something alone, it will be a small. it will be a smooth breeze from there. Start doing something simple. Go to the pool alone. Go shopping alone.

Do things that you would do with your friends, a significant other, your family members, but do it alone. Because every single time you take one step to doing something towards what you're scared up or what you're fearing, it will become easier and easier and you will soon be okay with it

or soon enough you'll love it. When you begin to love your own presence, your life is going to change. That's why being a lot. alone but not lonely matters so much because if you know that there's a party going on Friday night and you're like, I don't want to stay home alone and do nothing because I'll feel lonely. So I'm just going to go to that party. But then when you go to that party, you're with all these people and you feel isolated and you feel

more lonely than you would have at home. You have to think about that. Why am I trying to avoid being alone with myself? Let's be honest. We've all been there where we're worried about our health. problems that we have, and we almost resort to texting our group chat to get advice from, which is a reality check that our friends are not doctors. You're extremely unlikely to find quality medical advice in your group chat. There are better ways to get answers you want

and the care that you deserve from trusted professionals. You can find it from a doctor on Zoc Doc. Thousands of medical professionals on Zoc Doc are there to help you. They listen like a friend and give the expert care you need. Zoc Doc is the only first. free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available when you need them, and treat almost every condition under the sun. When you're not feeling your best and you're just trying to hold it together, finding great care should not take up all your energy. That's where Zoc Doc comes in.

Using the free app that million of users rely on, you can find the right doctor that meets your needs and fits your schedule. Finding a doctor that actually cares about your needs is definitely difficult, and when you find that right person, nothing feels better. Luckily with Zoc Doc, you'll find a doctor that truly cares about what you need and how you feel. Book an appointment with just a few taps in their app and start feeling better faster with ZocDoc. Go to Zococ.com slash busy and download the Zocdoc doc app for free. And the best part is many are available within 24 hours. That's ZocDoc.com slash busy, doc doc.com

slash busy. If you are feeling lonely, being with just yourself, that's when you have to become your own best friend. And if you're realizing, wait, everything that I'm doing hanging out with these big groups of friends that, you know, I don't really like, or I'm hanging out with my significant other who doesn't really treat me well, or I'm hanging out with people who are mostly negative,

you have to feel that somewhat isolating, and that's making you feel really lonely. And I promise you, you're going to feel better being alone physically than being with someone else or a million people that are making you physically not be alone, but are making you feel lonely. Alone but not lonely is something that you should always think about, okay? And you can be lonely but not alone. So if you're in a situation with a lot of people and find yourself in your own head, that's the same thing as if you were alone.

You have to find the root cause of this. because regardless if you are with a big group of people and you're feeling isolated and lonely, or if you're feeling home alone and lonely, then it has to do with yourself worth in finding presence in your own self. So some tips that you can take away from this on how to be alone but not lonely is, like I said, schedule independent time for self-care, do things that you would do with someone else, but just do it with yourself.

Take yourself on a date. Go to the beach alone. go shopping alone. The more you do it, the more you'll become comfortable with it. Another thing is, reflect on who makes you feel good and who makes you feel bad. If you are feeling alone and isolated when you were with your group of friends or your significant other or your family or just a group of people settling for people's actions so that you can be physically with someone and you're not alone, you're fighting the same

demon. You're just fighting the fact that you are lonely. So when you begin to find comfort in your own presence, that loneliness, will go away. So when you are not scared of being alone, you're not going to tolerate negative people. You're going to have the right people in your life. It would surprise you how much valuing your own presence and loving being your own best friend has an impact in your life. It doesn't just impact spending time with yourself, but it impacts the people you surround yourself with and the people you allow in your life. With this episode, I hope it leaves you

with just feeling positive and excited to have this journey with being your own best. friend because in this community, we want to surround ourselves with amazing people. And if you are not able to do that because you're scared of being alone, it's time to work on your skills to be able to be alone but not lonely. I love you guys so much. I was so excited about this episode and I'm really passionate about it, which is why I was so excited to talk about it. I hope you all are doing lovely and are really trying to find your own journey to be the

best version of yourself. And I also love watching the TikToks you guys show me of a day in your life listening to the podcast. And it just brings me so much joy. I love you guys with all my heart. If you want to be featured on next week's episode, feel free to go leave a review over Apple Podcast. I love you doll so much. Spend time being alone but not lonely and don't forget to stay busy yet pretty.