Busy, Yet Pretty - Anorexia & The Significance Of Recovery

Episode Date: April 25, 2022

In this episode, Jadyn shares her experience with an eating disorder, specifically anorexia nervosa and her recovery journey. As Jadyn is fully covered, she encourages and motivates her Busy, Yet Pretty listeners to open their mind to recovery. Along with her story, she answers many questions you’ve asked her regarding eating disorders and recovery advice. Get your chai latte, sit down and tune into this episode! Jadyn's Social Media platforms: - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jadynhaileyy/ & https://www.instagram.com/busyyetpretty/ - Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCx48PsDdAossgZjWWnXbvvg - Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fairyjadyn - Shop my Closet on Motom: http://www.motom.me/?referral_id=2otTRBb5O&client_group_token=c2cad9169bb6afa9af7a4b70abf24aad - My Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/jadynhaileyy --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/busyyetpretty/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, my dolls. Welcome back to the Busy a Pretty podcast. I'm your host, Jane and Haley. I hope you all have been doing absolutely lovely, as always. This episode's going to be a little longer today, so get ready. And I am just so excited to talk to you guys today. So let's get started with our weekly bullet points. So this week was Easter. Easter was so lovely. I spent time with my family and Ryan. And it truly made me so happy just to be gathered around. I love spending family time. So that was super nice. And then, oh, guys. So I don't really talk about exactly where I live, but I live in San Diego currently moving very soon, but I currently live in San Diego.

And in the Carlsbad area, they opened a sweet greens, which I have been wanting to try for the, longest time. Sweet Greens is a salad place. They have multiple locations in like LA and stuff, but they open one in Carlsbad, which I was very excited to see. So I went to Carlsbad to the Sweet Greens with my mom and seriously, their salads and bowls are absolutely amazing. I truly have never tried something that good. I love sweet greens so much and thank gosh it's not too close to me or I would be going all day long, but it was so good. And right next to Sweet Greens was a Jenny's ice cream, which that made me very happy. And I, of course, had to get one.

Jenny's ice cream is one of the best ice cream places. Ryan and I always go in L.A. Almost every single time we're in L.A., we go to Jenny's ice cream. And it's seriously the best ice cream. Next, I went window shopping with Ryan at a mall near me. and it was so fun. We actually went to one of the malls that had the La Colombe, and it was in La Hoya, which I was so excited about, because I have been obsessed with La Colom. If you're seeing my Instagram stories, you know I will not shut up about La Colom. Their coffee and their oat-draft lattes, amazing, insanity. But I have been loving La Colom so, so much, and we went to their little little.

little cafe at the mall in La Jolla. I tried their oat draft latte. I usually get their oat draft latte from the cans where you buy from the stores like sprouts and Target, but I got this from the actual cafe, which it was seriously amazing. I love La Cologne. Another thing I have been trying to work on this week is moving. So I am still trying to get my moving plans situated. I have not really talked about this. Actually, I have not talked about it at all. If you're hearing this now, this is the first time I've ever said it. But if you know, I have been trying to move to New York with Ryan and plans were all set in place.

But lately, there has been quite a bit of crime in the area I would be living at. So I decided it is better to wait for now. I can't just Uber all the time because that definitely adds up. So the subway would be my transportation, and I know there's a lot of crime going on in the subways. So Ryan and I decided to wait on moving to New York and are trying to figure out possibly the future. That would be a better time to move. But right now, for my job, I definitely need to move where stuff is going on. And I would say I'm pretty close to where things are going on and opportunities are, but I live still a while away from L.A. and New York, so it's still a drive

or a flight, and I am needing to be local for job opportunities. I think the best case scenario right now would be moving to L.A., which is closer to me, an easier move. Of course, there is a crime in L.A. as well, but right now, I think New York was a little more inconvenient with transportation and how it would be a really big move and moving everything over. So L.A. seems like a better option at the moment, but I'm still trying to figure everything out with Ryan and hopefully we'll be moved out by the end of the year. I will update you guys, of course. Every single time I talk about moving, I always receive the sweetest messages and people willing to like help about locations and everything, which is so sweet and I truly

appreciate it. Okay, my current obsessions. My current obsessions is kombucha. I literally love it. I can't tell you guys how much it's helped my stomach. Okay, my gut health. You guys know, I hate the word gut, but my tummy health has been so much better from drinking kombucha and having G.T. Dave's yogurt. I think it's pronounced the cocoa yo yogurt. I have it every morning and it truly has made my stomach feel so much better and I truly recommend it for people who have issues with bloating and just lots of gut health issues. It truly helps. Okay, another current obsession is cooking with Ryan. Him and I just cooked vodka pasta the other day and I truly just love cooking. It makes me so happy. I just love trying new recipes off of Pinterest and the vodka pasta turned out

so amazing. I have been loving cooking with Ryan and I'm so excited for us to start cooking a lot when we move in together. Okay, next, a current obsession right now is La Colom. Already talked about that, how I am obsessed with their O'Draft Latte. Please, please, please try to go to your nearest Sprout or Target or Trader Joe's and purchase a Lockeloam coffee because you will not regret it, their own milk draft. It's delightful, divine, amazing, splendid. All the words that you could describe, it's just that. Another thing is feeling organized.

I have been loving to feel organized, whether that's me just cleaning up after myself and not leaving a mess. Like if I accidentally get some skincare on the counter, I rather just clean it up than leave it there to do later. So just feeling organized, feeling put together feels so, so good. Okay, my goal of the week. So some of my goals of the week are to plan for the move. I really want to start looking in areas. I would want to live around the LA area with Ryan.

and so definitely planning that out. Another one of my goals of the week is to start soaking my face in cold water in the morning. I saw something about that, how it really, really is good for your skin, and there's a lot of other benefits. So I definitely want to try doing that. I personally don't have any skin problems, which I'm very thankful for, but I still would love to do that anyways because there's always little things to improve here and there. and I feel like it's really good to do for your skin.

So I'm wanting to start doing that very soon. I ice roll my face every day, but I think the cold ice water would even help a little more. And my last goal of the week, something that I very much don't have time to do, but it's required for me to live somewhere that I need this. Well, not required, but I am not going to use a probably different form of transportation. So that is starting my driver's license. I need to start getting a move on my driver's license. Before I was 18, I started my permit and then COVID happened and then there was no behind the wheel driving. So I threw all that learning away and now I'm restarting, but I really feel

like I don't have time because I'm always working on something else that has to do with work because, you know, I always can find something new to do. But I'm not looking forward to doing it at all. I'm not scared of driving or anything. I just truly don't have time to do this driver's license thing. Like I don't. I'm going to go get a private jet, okay? And then that'll solve all my problems.

Okay, anyways, no, but I do need to start on that. So I'm going to do that this week and fingers, crossed that I get my license in the next few months. Usually I do a quote from my five-minute journal, but I received a really sweet DM and I want to read this off because someone sent me a DM named Lauren and she sent me a quote that she suggested me reading off to the pod and I really want to share it with you guys. So thank you Lauren for sending this in. Holding onto anger is like drinking, poison, and expecting the other person to die. I think that's so true because I think it's great to always forgive others. You don't have to forget. It's good to be mindful of people's

actions in previous situations, but I think it's good to forgive and not only for them, but for your inner peace. I think that's so good, and I truly love that. So thank you so much for sending that in Lauren. Okay, a self-love question to ask yourself. Have I neglected myself recently? Have I neglected myself recently. What's one small way that I can make it up for myself today? Please feel free to pause this episode, journal that question, and take action into finding a small way that you can help make it up to yourself. Okay, an Apple podcast review. This sweet review is from Annes, she said, The Busy Yet Pretty Podcast is my ultimate favorite podcast. It makes me so appreciative that somebody like Jaden Haley exists. Her words of wisdom and

encourages me to be the best version of myself. Thank you so much, Annes. That was seriously the sweetest review ever. I am so, so thankful for you and all the busy at pretty listeners out there. So I hope I truly do help you guys and to be the become the best version of yourself. So that being said, feel free to leave a review on Apple Podcast to be featured in the next episode. Okay, guys, let's get into today's episode. So, first of all, I want to say today's episode is on my experience with anorexia and recovery. If the topic of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anorexia recovery is touchy to you, you are more than welcome to skip this episode.

Although I am very passionate about recovery and I really encourage recovery. So if you are thinking about choosing recovery or are somewhat open mind, to it, I truly recommend you tune in because this is all based off of personal experience and I have nothing but good intentions for you guys. Before I get into the episode, I also want to say that this is all from personal experience. I am not a doctor. I did not go to school for this. This is strictly from personal experience and my outlook on it.

Okay, so let's get into this episode of my experience with an eating disorder and my recovery journey. So starting off, this was the beginning of 2019, pre-COVID, so COVID was not a thing yet. And I had met someone who was my first crush at the time. So we had really gotten to know each other, and I cared about this person. Fast forward a little while, they ended up suffering with mental health. It truly made me sad and hurt me to see someone that I cared about having mental health issues from being totally happy to having a downward slope. So that really affected me. I was really, really sad for him to the point where I physically felt sick that they were struggling. So I began to internalize the emotions of sympathy too much where it began to

affect my own mental health. I began not to feel hungry, so that's where it all began. Fast forward a few months, I noticed I had lost some weight because I had been eating less. I never really weighed myself that much. I weighed myself once in a while, but it wasn't really about weight. I just was kind of for fun. And I had weighed myself one day throughout the months past and noticed I had lost quite a bit of weight. And that kind of like shocked me a little bit because I didn't realize I could lose weight or was never really a thought to me that I should lose weight, I realized I was quite a bit down

than I usually weighed. So it started with weighing myself, and I began weighing myself about 10 times a day because it felt like the only feel of control I had of a situation. I didn't have control of helping the other person in their situation, so this was my own area to have control in, which is why anorexia is such, such, such, a big factor of control. As I said, I started weighing myself about 10 times a day, and it definitely became an addiction, and it wasn't necessarily what my body looked like in the mirror. It didn't start out with that because it was more of unintentional losing weight,

and then I realized I could do that. So I ended up just having a endless cycle of looking at it. numbers on a scale and it began to just feel like a game. After a few weeks, it became not only what it looked like on the scale, but what I looked like in the mirror and how I viewed myself. To add, this is the most depressed and unhappy I've ever been in my life. I've never suffered depression in my life prior to this or have been this unhappy. This feeling that you get from having an eating disorder, specifically mine is anorexia. It truly is unmatched. It's such a weighing and bad feeling to have 24-7. And to add on to that also, my hair was falling out.

I was cold 100% of the time. Like, I would need 10 jackets on and still be freezing. I had to find lines in my face. I'd be laying in bed to go to sleep, and my heart was just so loud pounding, and I was always tired. I had no energy. I had the constant feeling of that I was going to faint, and I would always get lightheaded. I lost all my interests in hobbies. I did nothing, always arguing with my mom.

My mom's my best friend, and she cared the most, and I would be constantly arguing with her because with someone who's wanting you to recover and someone who's in an eating disorder, the bashing is so hard because you guys are in two opposite point of views. So the one person who wanted me to recover the most, she was having to deal with the one person who wasn't wanting to ever recover, which was me. That caused a lot of arguing as well as constant headaches and memory fog and loss. I could not remember things at all. Like someone could do something or say something in the past few minutes and I'd already

forget it because my brain was so, so foggy because I had no nutrition in my body. As well as suicidal thoughts, which I'm not going to get too much into that, but that definitely happens. And I can't believe that I ever had to get to that point, which is so sad to me because prior to my eating disorder, I had never had those thoughts ever once appear in my life. And since I've recovered, never once has it came up again. And having no nutrition in your body and your mind truly, truly makes you a different person. And it's so, so sad.

That's why I am here to not glamorize eating disorders. Seriously, it's so, so, so sad for someone to have to go through. I seriously, I'm so proud of anyone who has recovered or is on their way to recovery because this is one of the hardest things ever. and it's one of the most fatal illnesses as well. Okay, back to what I was saying. September and October of 2019, I was in the worst part of my eating disorder and my mom had actually forced me to go to a therapist

to see what's going on because she realized I wasn't eating, but she also wasn't quite sure if it was an eating disorder or what was happening. Same with me. It really didn't even click to me about it possibly being anorexia because I didn't know much of or about eating disorders prior to what I was going through. So it kind of was just a game with myself thinking, oh, I want to lose weight.

I want to see the numbers on the scale drop and it didn't really occur to me that it was an eating disorder. So that day, my mom and I went to an eating disorder therapist. She was unable to assist me because she had said I was in such bad condition that before working on the subject of my mental health for my eating disorder, it had to first be physical needs first because my body was slowly dying, so we had to get that figured out first. I went to urgent care that day. I got my blood pressure done and other things done, and from then on I had to constantly go to urgent care every single day and I was almost admitted to a hospital, but luckily I wasn't. So I was told I needed blood work done.

And I was so, so scared. And that literally boosted my motivation to recover because I am terrified of needles and I faint really easily from needles. So I was just like, yeah, that's not going to happen. So that was truly a boost of motivation for recovery. but I had to get my, but I had to get my blood drawn because they really, really had to make sure everything was okay regarding purging and everything. They can tell if you have through your blood actually. So I had to get my blood drawn. A lady came to my house. There was a needle on me

for over five minutes. It was literally not fun for someone who doesn't like needles. So on to talking about my journey to recovery. So September 25th of 2019, I started to be open-minded to the idea of recovery, but I was still not wanting to at all, but I had just had the small thought of recovery. I agreed to go to the doctors and therapists and nutritionists. I was about 16 and 17 years old, so my mom had full say over me, so she made me go to the doctors. All those visits of the doctors, therapists, and nutritionists took up every single bit of my day. I had two to three appointments every single day for quite a while and it got to the point where I wasn't able to do online school anymore. I had been doing online school most of high school, but I was unable to even do any online school because I would see stars and like start to faint, like faint feeling.

and I was just so out of it, so unhappy, and couldn't even focus on the work. Around this time, I actually had met someone online who recovered from their eating disorder, and they had all the same interest as me, so we cooked very well. To this day, she is still one of my best friends. She doesn't live by me, but I'm so thankful for her because she was one of my biggest things of motivation of recovery. that's why I feel like when you actually listen or talk to someone who's had an eating disorder and is now recovered, recovery seems to be a more open-minded thought to you, just as it was to me. When I was hearing the doctors tell me I had to gain weight, I didn't want to listen to them

because they had never experienced what I was going through and feel like no one truly understood me. but when you listen to someone or talk to someone who actually has gone through it before, it truly, truly, truly will help you. So I really recommend listening to people who have recovered with an eating disorder. It truly is able to help you connect better than someone who hasn't actually gone through what you have. I took a little break right there because I received exciting news. So, okay, let's get back into it.

recovery was a process that was just as hard or harder than anorexia itself and personally i feel like recovery was just so hard for me and as it would be for anyone else's recovering it's so so hard so when choosing recovery just know there will be ups and downs and no matter what at the end of the day when you are fully recovered, there is nothing that has a better feeling than that. I'm so happy to this day that I chose recovery than struggling with anorexia because if I'd continue to struggle with anorexia, then I probably would not be alive. So I am just so thankful that I chose recovery and as much as you think that you have control of it and you won't let it get too bad, it becomes worse and worse and I promise you that because I told myself all this things during my eating

disorder that I totally thought I would be able to handle. So I encourage recovery more than anything in the world to you guys. Okay, let's get back to what I was saying. So in recovery, I experienced extreme bloating and constipation, and that was one of the worst parts of recovery. It was so bad. I truly looked like I was nine months pregnant every single time I ate and the constipation was just awful. Like I wouldn't go to the bathroom for days or a week. I know that's gross, but you know what eating disorders should not be glamorized. I started incorporating a little food into my day every single day and it was really hard, but I just tried doing every little thing to incorporate something new.

What happened was I had a doctor who was specialized in eating disorders, specifically anorexia, and she had her own eating disorder facility, but I did not go to the facility, and I had gone to just individual doctor visits instead. I was going to have to go to residential and hospital at some point, but thank gosh I was able to give him the chance. to try to recover myself. And the doctor and my mom both said if I don't start to show improvement myself and recovering myself, then I will have to go into residential. And that was something I did not want to do because from the people that have talked to me about residential, it did not sound fun at all. I tried recovering myself. Throughout recovery, I experienced extreme bloating, constipation,

biodismarvia, and so much other things. Anorexia and recovery were equally as hard and I truly had the hardest months recovering. Fast forward those times, I am fully physically and mentally recovered as of the end of 2021. So I am fully recovered mentally and physically. I've never felt better. The end of 2021, I had gotten the thumbs up to not have to come anymore, which made me so happy because I'd finally left anorexia in the past. That being said, I've truly never been happier,

and I've learned that without food, your life lacks happiness being from nutrition. Food is fuel. I remember the nutritionist telling me how my brain will not think properly until I have some food in me. I was like, I'm thinking right now and I'm thinking properly. I'm in my own mind. Like, I'm fine.

but once I actually started eating food, I realized my mindset seriously shifted, and which I thought was crazy because it's scientifically true that when you don't have enough nutrition, your brain is just living off any nutrition that's had from the past holding onto that and it doesn't allow you to think properly. Think about an example of when people are stranded in like a desert or something and don't have food, they start to hallucinate because they are not having any nutrition in their body. And that's the same with anorexia. I try to use my platform as much as possible to promote how food is a necessity to the body and mind. I began to be on a really good path around 2021, like mid-2020.

I was fully physically and mentally recovered as of the end of 2021, but I still continued by monthly checkups with my eating disorder doctor for a while, even after being fully recovered because she wanted to make sure I was okay. And then it finally led up to the point where the very beginning of this year, very early January, I got the okay to be completely on my own with my eating. I've never been happier to leave anorexia in the past. I spoke about my eating to very few people in my life and definitely not over social media. And one day last year, I randomly thought to just share a brief version of my story over Instagram. Since that day, people still message me about how I help them recover from that one time of me

posting about recovery in my eating disorder. It makes me so blown away how just that one time of posting about my eating disorder has motivated others to recover. and that's why I want to make this episode to help as many people as I could. I truly didn't realize how many people followed me who had anorexia or some sort of an eating disorder. So I definitely want to use my platform in a positive way to preach food, positivity and recovery. Recovery has allowed me to feel happy again, feel awake, feel motivated, eat the food that I love, not feel guilty, and to grow back the hair that.

I have lost. I had lots of hair loss during the time of my eating disorder. So my hair is back full and healthy again. I am not fainty anymore. I work out for health, not just to see a number on the scale drop. I'm not constantly cold anymore. I have motivation and interest for my hobbies and my spark came back to life. And that was a somewhat brief summary of my experience with anorexia, but I want to ask you guys what are some questions that you have for me regarding anorexia and recovery. I received hundreds of questions. I truly was blown away and I'm so thankful that you guys are asking me and putting hope into me answering your questions. I also let you guys know that you guys could DM me and eight paragraphs about your experience

and questions that you have of recovery. And I received so much. many of those as well, but I decided to wait on answering any of those DM messages that I got and just to answer some of the shorter questions today because we can make a more in-depth episode very, very soon, but I thought right now we should just keep it short and simple with some general questions that you guys asked. So starting off with the questions. Someone asked, when was your realization that you needed to recover? I started to see how downhill my life has become and I didn't enjoy life anymore and I was just always sad and then I would look back at old photos of me and say like wow like I was so happy here like what what happened to me and that's

something that would really change my mindset and realize I need to recover because it was not me I was not myself someone said how did you figure out that you had body dysmorphia both ways I experienced this because I would think I could actually fit into something that was a toddler size piece of clothing that I could not fit into at all that was way too small, as well as picking out clothes from the men's section that were 10 times my size but thinking that those items were too small for me. So it went both ways. I thought I could fit into things that were way too small for me and things that were way too big for me. When I'd go thrifting, I'd pick out those clothes and then I'd try them on

and realize, wow, this toddler top is not going on my arm. What the heck is wrong with me? I'd also realize when I get a men's-sized pants that were 10 times my size and try them on, they would instantly just fall to the floor because, of course, they didn't fit me. I realized I had body dysmorphia there and then because every single thing that I was picking out and choosing to wear just was not fitting my size. Someone else said, when you restricted your eating, did you still feel hunger pains? So in the beginning, I definitely did.

I would hear my stomach grumble and I definitely felt hungry. But after a while, I lost my hunger cues and it really made me sad because when I was recovering and wanting to recover, something I think to myself is if I put myself in a room that had no windows and I could not see outside to see what time of day it was, I would truly not eat any food because I wouldn't know when to eat or when was lunch, when was dinner, when was breakfast, because I would have no hunger cues. And that took a year to regain hunger cues. Finally, I definitely am back to normal and hungry and I know when I'm hungry. I'm getting pretty hungry now because it's getting to be lunchtime, so let's wrap up this episode. I'm kidding. Definitely lost hunger cues for a while and then regain them back, thankfully. So Nell said, what's an important checkpoint that you reached in your recovery? Something that was really important to me was not just telling people I'm recovered mentally,

but internally being recovered and being honest with myself and knowing I truly am. recovered because it's so easy to tell a doctor, I'm definitely mentally recovered and I don't think or have any of those bad eating habits anymore. You can just easily say that, but to truly feel those feelings of being internally recovered and being honest with myself was a big checkpoint. Someone else asked, what make you push through recovery without relapsing? There were definitely times I was close to having a big relapse and there was tiny small setbacks. I'm going to say small relapses, but they were small setbacks that I had where I would gain some weight and then I would lose some weight and then that was my small relapse.

But I definitely had times where I was close to just quitting recovery and going back to my usual ways. But something that was a big thing was I would just think about how happy I was before my eating disorder. Someone else asked, do you still deal with thoughts of disordered eating even after recovery? I heard someone once say this and I think it's so true. Once you've experienced having an eating disorder and it doesn't matter how recovered you are, once in a blue moon, you will still receive a thought or have a thought pop in your head. I totally think that's true because there are definitely times once in a blue moon, I'll have a thought like, I'm not liking my body right now.

Then I say, okay, wait, stop. Do I want that life when I had anorexia where I was unhappy, losing my hair, so sad, constantly cold? No, I don't want that. So I've trained myself to react and handle those thoughts very well than feeding into those thoughts. and I think that's really important to have ways to remember how bad your eating disorder was and how good recovery feels afterwards. Another person said, I just can't deal with the fact that I need to gain weight. It just terrifies me so much.

Something that I totally forgot to mention in the episode was I have not weighed myself since the moment I started recovery. The doctors told me not to weigh myself, and my mom had put the scale. away, she hid the scale and it really was hard for me, like to the point where I would even try to weigh myself on the scales at thrift stores. I was just taken away from the thing that I was addicted to the most. It truly saved me to not have a scale in front of me. And throughout recovery, I had become not even wanting to know my weight anymore once I was going on a good path where I now know where the scale is in my house. A scale could be right in front of me and I have

zero interest to weigh myself because honestly, I don't care to know my weight, nor do I want to have any reaction to it. And I just think it's good to not worry about the weight because weight distributes so differently. So I just think it's really good to not weigh yourself. And I know where the scale is in my house. I have not had an interest to weigh myself. And whenever I have any doctor visits or anything, I turn around and do a blind weight. And they totally know what I'm saying. and are used to people having blind weights, so I think it's really good to just not wait yourself. That is your first step to recovery. Another person said, how did you get over-trigger foods if you had any?

I definitely had some foods that I was really scared of during my eating disorder, and how I began to reheal my relationship with those foods were thinking of its benefits. So I would think of its benefits from nutrition-wise and emotional-wise, Even if it had no nutrition benefits, but it still made you happy, that's a benefit itself. It doesn't need to be a nutritional value to be beneficial to you. If it's making you happy, that's already beneficial. So I would just think of the nutrition-wise benefits and the emotion-wise benefits. Someone else said, what helps when you have a bad day, meaning when you struggle with food or body image of that day?

Something I like to do is remember the amazing things that my body does for me, like waking up in the morning, breathing, keeping me alive. Things like that really help me because I'm just happy to be alive on this earth. Another good thing is to have distractions with things or people that you enjoy. So if you're having a bad day or feel a bad day coming, be like, okay, I'm going to go call up my friend and get lunch with them. So it distracts me. and that's going to really help you move forward and get over that hard day, but not relapse. Another person said, what was your first steps of recovery? I was 16 at the time, like I said, so my mom forced me to get a doctor.

So I did not have a say and if I wanted the doctor or not, but that was definitely a first step is going to the doctors. And I really truly recommend seeking help to a certified doctor or a therapist because they will walk you through. so many steps to help recover internally and physically. I think the first step to seeking recovery is to reach out to a doctor. Another person asked, did you lose your period? If yes, how did you get it back? Yes, I did lose my period. I did not have my period for about six months to a year. It was almost a year. And when I got my period back, I actually was so happy because I had already a positive mindset going with recovery and I knew my body was working properly again. Just knowing my body is properly working and doing good for myself and keeping me alive and seeing my period was

there just made me super happy to know I am in a good place with my body right now. And of course, how to get it back. Eating is the only way to get it back. There's also other ways that doctors recommend getting your period back, but they have to do actually with eating. So definitely eating is the number one step and really the only way to get your period back. And it's also going to take a while because I was eating and I still didn't have my period throughout recovery. But towards the later stages of recovery, I got my period and that was after I was already gaining weight and everything. Someone said, how did you talk with your parents about anorexia? Well, my parents approached me about it, and they approached me before I approached them about it. My dad was super scared, of course,

and was really sad for me, and he could tell that I was just a lot different than how I used to be, and my mom truly gave up her entire life for that year to two years to save me. As well as my grandma, they both helped me so much, and I truly will all. always be so appreciative for all the days and hours. They spent helping me and taking me to doctors and just talking with me all day long. They truly, truly, truly helped me. Someone else said, do you think social media has an impact on eating disorders and body dysmorphia? Yes, I think that's actually one of the main ways that people develop eating disorder these days because think about the negative diet culture that social media promotes. Personally, I did not pick up on my eating disorder

habits from comparison on social media, but I totally think it's a big, big factor of why there's so many eating disorders these days because of social media and diet culture and unrealistic beauty standards. And like I said, mine was from not being able to control situations, so my eating disorder was my only way of control and where it originated from, but I totally think that social media has such, such, such a big part with body dysmorphia and aim disorders. Another person asks, how do you stop obsessing over body weight? No scale. I literally will keep saying this. I can have a scale in front of me and I still don't weigh myself and I truly just recommend getting rid of the scale out of your house. Another person said, what aspects of your life have changed because of

your experience with anorexia. I see life with beauty and food as a necessity now. I always liked food, of course. Just I didn't see it as food as fuel. I just kind of ate. I don't know. I didn't think too deeply about food before my eating disorder, but I just realized how important it is to have nutrition in your body. And I'm just so thankful to be alive. And I just am really appreciative of every single thing, even the little things in life because I'm here alive on this earth and that's all I care about. Another person said, how did you accept your body changing as you started regaining weight? So lots of my clothes started to not fit anymore because I was actually having a huge thrifting era during the time of my eating disorder.

So I bought lots of clothes that fit me at that time and I then realized when I was recovering that those clothes were not fitting anymore. and I donated them or got rid of them. I realized, like, you aren't supposed to fit in clothes. Clothes are supposed to fit you. That's why there's different sizes. There is not one size in this world that is supposed to fit everyone. It's supposed to be that clothes fit you, not you fit clothes. Another person said, how did you stop counting calories?

So this sounds like a lie because it's very traditional to have the habit of counting calories, but I truly never counted calories. And I think it has to do with me stemming from it not being from diet culture, but being from lack of control. So I never thankfully had to deal with that problem. And if you are circling with that, I think you should instantly cross out any packaging or nutrition labels that you have that you feel that you are affected by because, oh, there's also like stickers on Etsy that you can just like slap on any packaging that covers

the nutrition label. and I think it's so cute. I'll try to link them over my modem for you guys, and I just think those are super necessary for those who are struggling with counting calories. I'm going to answer one last question because I think it's good to wrap up the episode soon. So someone said,

how do you stop missing your eating disorder? I just would remember how depressed I was and how awful it was to constantly be thinking of food day and night. Like, when I had my eating disorder, I would think of food the moment. I woke up in the moment I go to bed. It was a 24-7 thing and I'm just so happy that I don't have that anymore. So any single time that I ever miss my eating disorder, which is very rarely, I don't think I've ever really missed my eating disorder. I am just remembering the bad times and just thinking

about how better my life is now. Also, if you have any photos from your past of your eating disorder, delete them so you don't refer back to them. I want to be fully open to you guys and help as many of you as possible. And recovery is something that I'm so, so passionate about. I would pay every single bit of my money to not go back and have an eating disorder again and be recovered. And this is why I encourage you to reach out to a doctor or a therapist to start your journey to getting your spark back. Thank you guys so much for listening. I truly had been wanting to talk about this for so long because I get so many requests at this all the time and I really, really hope this helped. I have nothing but good intentions for you guys and truly, truly,

truly want nothing but the best. I hope this helped and gave you a more open-minded on recovery or if you actually don't have an eating disorder, thinking of ways how to help others with an eating disorder. I love you guys so much. Please feel free to leave a rate over Apple Podcasts. It truly means the world and I would love to feature you guys on the next episode as well as rating over Spotify it takes literally two seconds and it will help us stay on the charts feel free to also check out my Instagram it's all linked in the show notes continue being busy at pretty and I love you dolls the most