Busy, Yet Pretty - Let's Talk About Men (Boys*) : Crushes, Relationships, Self Worth, Advocacy & Respect

Episode Date: November 14, 2022

Have you been trying to determine if you're ready for a relationship? Or are in a relationship that you're not be properly respected in? Or even trying to get you're crush to like you back. Then this episode is for you. In this episode you host, Jadyn Hailey dives into the topic of self worth, respect, advocacy, sexual discipline and boundaries in relationships, crushes, hookups and more. If you feel you've been settling or have lost your power, it's time to take your power back by being your own advocate. Tune onto this episode with a (hot) almond milk matcha latte and a whole lot of self respect.  Jadyn's Social Media platforms: - Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jadynhaileyy/ & https://www.instagram.com/busyyetpretty/ - Youtube: https://youtube.com/channel/UCx48PsDdAossgZjWWnXbvvg - Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fairyjadyn - Shop my Closet on Motom: http://www.motom.me/?referral_id=2otTRBb5O&client_group_token=c2cad9169bb6afa9af7a4b70abf24aad - My Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/jadynhaileyy --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/busyyetpretty/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hello, my dolls. Welcome back to the busy yet pretty podcast. I'm your host, Jane Haley. I hope you've been having the loveliest week as always per usual. Today, when I'm recording this, it's 1111 and that is literally the best time to manifest. And I saw this thing online today. I'm going to read it off. So hopefully you were manifesting during this 1111 day. What it says is today is 1111, 22. 22. This is one of the most powerful days in manifesting your dreams in the last 23 years. The last time we had triple digit numbers was 1999. This year we had power of numerology with 11-11 and 222 number frequencies. I love that so much and I really hope you guys manifested very strongly. Okay, my dolls, let's get straight into the weekly review. So this week, I went to the heated room, which is is a Pilate Studio, which is all heated. And let me just say, it was amazing. Take me there every day. I loved it. I got such a good sweat on. I seriously just love the feeling of sweating. I know it's gross, but like after I sweat and then take a shower, I feel so, so good and like so like cleansed. So I had such a

fun time at the heated room. I've been trying different supplements out. I really want to try magnesium and be six. as I said in the past episode, but I definitely am loving, trying new vitamins. Another weekly review is it's been raining out. Well, not today, which I'm very sad about, but it was raining out. And I have been loving the colder weather days. I am someone who embraces the cold weather. No, I do not like the feeling of being cold, but I just love being indoors and seeing it rain and chilly out and like, I just love it so, so much.

it makes me feel in the Christmas spirit. Another thing I did this week is taking care of my body and learning more about hormones. So finally, my period started after a few months. It was off and I think I had a lot of stress from moving and my hormones were like not really balanced. So I have just been really happy that my period started. I'm taking care of my body, feeling happy and healthy. Another thing I did this week is learn more about cycle-sinking food and exercise to my period. in menstrual cycle. I think it's really important. I actually have a few friends who are already

very informed on that space. So I've been definitely listening to their tips. I think it's really important to cycle sync and I've been really having fun with looking at the correct foods to eat that complement your menstrual cycle throughout that time. So that has been really important. Oh, another thing is I stopped drinking oat milk. I think that's a reason why I was breaking out. I heard a lot of people saying they were breaking out from oat milk, being extremely bloated from oat milk. So I stopped drinking oat milk and I started drinking almond now again. And let me just say my skin has been so much better and I think I've been a lot less bloated. So I would definitely say almond milk has been something that is working for me a lot better than oatmeal.

Okay, now on to my current obsessions. So my current obsession is mint. I love mint everything. Smells good. Taste good. Love it. Mint, peppermint flavor drinks. They're so good. Peppermint mint ice cream. Oh my gosh. So amazing. Another current obsession is Airwans, a thousand milligram vitamin C packets. I had one the other day and I instantly came obsessed. It's so good for you with the amount of vitamin C it has and it just tastes so, so good. So I've been stalking up on those. Another current obsession is Too Good to Go. Too Good to Go is an app where you can help prevent food waste,

where you can go to shops and bakeries in the area and purchase, oh, through their app, but purchase a box or surprise box of food that they were going to throw away at the end of the day, and you could have that for, first of all, a good deal, second of all, helping prevent food waste. Or you could get it and donate it to the homeless or someone in the the area. Anyways, but I have just been loving too good to go. My last current obsession for this week is Christmas music. I just love Christmas music. It makes me so happy. I feel like it

truly just gets me in the spirit and I am just so excited for the holidays. I'm not even kidding. I'm so excited. Okay, now on to my goal of the week. So my goal of the week is to use my planner. Like I said, I've been off routine and doing most of my planning from my phone, which is great, but it's also really nice to have a physical planner and write down everything instead of just referring back to my phone calendar. So definitely using a planner is something that I want to get back on track doing. Another goal of the week is to post more frequently. I feel like I've been doing better at posting more often. It's been hard since the move to be as active on my socials, but I'm finally starting to be.

fully moved in and back on my socials and posting, which has made me so happy. Okay. Another goal of the week is to work out every day or some sort of movement every day. I am someone who doesn't like to work out every single day, but I definitely want to show some sort of movement, whether that's walking or running, just some little movement every single day to make my body feel good and moving. I feel like one of the reasons I don't work out very often is because I'm not. I'm busy. And the fact that I can answer emails on my phone and walk is just amazing multitasking.

So I've been loving that. Okay. My last goal of the week is to schedule my time better. Scheduling my timeout is one of the most important things to getting things done and being productive. So I really do like scheduling my time out, figuring out what I'm going to do throughout each day. And that has really helped me in the past. So I think that it's time to incorporate that into my time. my life again right now. Okay, so next step is a self-love question to ask yourself. Am I fully present in everyday experiences? Take time to reflect. I love that question so much because it really helps you think, are you thinking too much ahead, too much in the past? And it's really good to just be present in the experiences because once you're in that experience that you have been thinking about

for the past month, you're going to be thinking about something else. So it's really good to be present and the experiences that you're in and look forward to the future, but only to a point so you can enjoy your own presence and your own experiences that you're experiencing at that moment. Okay, next is an Apple podcast review. This review is from Zara and Zara said, The Way, this is the best podcast. You are a queen in capital letters. Thank you so much, Zara. That's the sweetest review, and I appreciate you so much. I just love to hear when knowing you guys like the podcast and how the podcast help you. And when it's your go-to podcast, it just makes me so, so happy.

Okay, a daily affirmation. So today's affirmation is, every day I wake up with more reasons to be happier. I love that affirmation so much and feel free to journal that and affirm it. Okay, guys, let's get straight into this episode. As you can tell today, we are going to talk about men. I mean, boys. Today's episode, I'm going to talk about self-worth and relationships, respect, sexual discipline, advocacy, and more. So I'm very excited to talk to you guys about this today, and let's get straight into it. So I want to begin with just men in general and not necessarily in relationships, regardless of any negative experiences you've had with men and your first.

family or in past relationships, just know there is so many good men out there that you just may have not come across yet, but there are so many great men out there. I'm very lucky to have great male role models in my family, but for those who may have had bad experiences and may not know different than the men who are in the family who may have caused negative experiences, just know there are so many good men out there. And this is going to be. kind of a guide to kind of spot red flags in men and how to properly be your own advocate. So I received a lot of questions on how do I get a guy to like me back? Let me just say the problem is the question that you're even asking.

It's very normal to dress cute or try to look pretty to impress a guy which you like, which is totally fine and normal. But if you're seeing yourself starting to swoon over a guy and we'll do just about anything for him to like you, then you just step back and reevaluate what's happening. Because if a guy's not reciprocating appropriate engagement back to you, he is not the one. And what I mean by that, if you are putting an effort to talk to a guy to show him that you're interested and he is just not showing that interest back, then he is not the one. And let me say, rejection is amazing.

And that means it's not meant to be. If you're rejected, that's not something to be ashamed of because rejection is redirection and you're going to be redirected to the right person. If you find yourself sad after a guy leaves you in red or isn't showing interest back to you, you're missing your self-love and self-worth tools. You need to step back, reaching your pocket, and grab those self-worth and self-love tools out. You can totally be sad for a minute, but then move on and be grateful that you were rejected to know, wow, that was not the right.

right person and I'm going to be redirected to the right guy for me. If you find yourself seeking attention from males, whether you're just trying to get a guy to talk to you or trying to be showing more of yourself just to get a guy to notice you or any way that you're just trying to achieve male attention, then you need a pause and pinpoint. Why are you doing this? When you begin to show yourself the love you deserve and you know your worth, them rejecting you won't be able to even get to your emotions. You should have enough self-love and self-worth for yourself where if someone rejects you, you're not sad. Oh, that's a bummer that happened. Okay, next. Because you know what? It's actually a blessing when you rejected. Because now there is so much more for you

out there and you realize, wow, thank you, universe, that was not the right person for me. Another thing in the topic of crushes, why are you putting the guy you like on a pedestal? The last last time I checked, it's an honor to receive attention from you. Do not find it an honor to receive attention from them. Do not beg for attention from them. Do not beg for them to talk to you. Do not beg for any sort of energy from them. I don't believe in games. And if you're looking for a serious adult relationship, it's really good to be straightforward. And if that person is not being straightforward or if that person's playing back and forth games, that's not the person. I saw this quote online and absolutely loved it and want to share it with you guys. So it says, if a man doesn't call

you, it's because he does not want to call you. If he doesn't invite you to go out, it's because he doesn't want to see you. You do not need someone that doesn't know what they want. You do not need someone that doesn't see your worth. Stop breaking down your own heart for someone who probably won't even be as good as you expect. Right there, that's a big one. We tend to make someone so, so good and so on a pedestal in our mind and create this entire narrative and story around them, how you just fall so in love with them when honestly, you may not even really know how they are in person. You could be totally thinking of someone so, so much better in your mind and you haven't even had a full-on conversation with them yet. Again, stop breaking your own heart for someone

who probably won't even be as good as you expect. When a man wants to be with a woman, he stays with her without lies, excuses, and complications. Give yourself an opportunity to be happy with someone who actually deserves you. You deserve a man that knows your worth and spites for you every day. I just love that so much because I think it's really important to stop putting your crush on a pedestal. You may have a crush on them, but you know what? You have a crush on yourself even more. So value yourself more than you value whatever crush that you have on them.

Okay. Now moving on to advocacy and boundaries and overall self-respect. When you're talking to someone and it's starting to escalate into dating, mention topics that you're passionate about. And I'm just going to get serious into it. If you don't believe porn is right or porn is right in relationships, then mention that to them and say, what are your thoughts on that? Spark necessary topics. Imagine you just begin dating with someone and you start mentioning topics that you're passionate about and you realize that, oh, they don't agree with that and nor will they change,

that means you are saving yourself lots of time and you can break it off right there. Let's say you have certain opinions on financial beliefs. Mention it to them. Mention your social beliefs to them. Mention conversations that will give you a better idea if this is the right partner for you or not. If you begin to date someone and then you share to them how you don't want your partner to watch porn or hang out without their girls or any boundaries that you set for yourself that you wouldn't want your partner to do. Let's say they hear that from you and they instantly disagree and will not

be changing their ways or care enough to respect your wishes. That is not your man. It's okay if that's what they want. That's totally okay. Everyone has their own personal preference, but that is not your man because those are your wishes. That's the respect that you deserve. And if they're not willing to give that respect to you, then that's not your man. Thank you so much for saving my time and I'm going to go now because they're not planning to change. So that's just not what I want. Thank you very much. And of course, men should have clear respect towards women for many different topics, but whether they're boundaries or just clear general respect that is discussed prior to dating, because sometimes the bar is set so low. And I'm like, girls, hello.

though, set them very high. You deserve the best. You deserve someone to treat you as you should be treated. You should not accept disrespect. If you're going to treat someone with so much love and respect, then they should as well to you. Whether boundaries and clear general respect is discussed prior to dating or 10 years in a relationship, it doesn't matter when. No relationship is ever worth sacrificing your dignity or self-respect for. Do not accept any less than the respect that you deserve. Guys and people will treat you the way that you allow them to treat you. If you state your boundaries and state clear respect

and they decide to disrespect you and you accept it, why would they change? And I think it's really important to discuss these things prior to dating or very early into relationships because this will save you lots of time knowing if this is the right guy for you or not. If you're in a relationship right now that you've been in, in for over 10 years and you realize you've been accepting things that are actually really disrespectful,

then you could say, well, please respect my wishes and respect me or this is not the relationship I want to be in because it's really important to set your boundaries and to share your wishes with your partner, especially general respect. There's specific boundaries that different people have, but there's also just general respect. Like, you're not going to go cheat on your partner. Think about it this way. If they are doing this, things to you that you wouldn't do to them, then right there, that's a red flag. Okay, let's talk about sexual discipline. If your partner does not have sexual discipline, don't be surprised if they go and cheat in the future. Whether you're in a relationship or not, if any guy is forcing you to do something,

whether that's sex, sexual activities, or any sort of things that you do not feel comfortable doing, you need to have the respect for yourself to get up and leave. And a good example is if you have a crush on a guy and he wants to actually hook up with you and you project your feelings to him that you actually don't want to hook up and you just like him, he should instantly back off and not force a hookup on you. It doesn't matter if you like him. Do not please him in hopes for him to like you. Because you know what?

if you are thinking in your head, oh, you know what, if I hook up with him, he'll like me actually now. Let me just say, the hookup will not get him to like you. Even if he says, I'll love you forever. I'll love you if you do this with me. I promise you, that's not the case. I know this is a pun, but it's the truth. Once he comes, he comes to his senses. This episode is not very PG today.

Okay, anyways, why are you hoping? for men or boys to choose you. You shouldn't be in power as the woman you are to think, do I want to choose this man to be with? Will this man respect me as a woman and my wishes? If you're noticing you tolerate your partner disrespecting you, you cannot sit quiet. You know what? Actually, a lot of people do want to change. And I'm not saying cheating. If they're talking to other girls and cheating on you, that's just clear disrespect. And they know they should know better. But if it's something where you find disrespectful but maybe they didn't think about it, you can bring it to their attention and say, hey, this bothers me. And if they

truly want to change for you, that's amazing and they will. But if they are continuously doing what you ask them not to do and disrespecting you, imagine the disrespect they're going to show to you a year from now, 10 years from now. It's only going to get worse from there. So stop it at that moment, bring it to their attention, you know, there are a lot of guys out there who will change their ways and things that they're doing to respect their significant other. If your new partner has only had flings and hookups before having this mature relationship that you guys are getting into, they may have not had the same experiences and awareness on what your boundaries look like. Of course, they should know the obvious. Don't go and cheat on me, but that's, the bar is set so low right there. That is

just the obvious. They should know general respect towards women and boundaries, but, you know, there may be a certain thing that you're passionate about that they may have not realized, so you can bring that to attention. Back to what I was saying, why you want a man with sexual discipline. They will value a relationship so much more meaningful if they have sexual discipline. A man who is sexually disciplined will not go and seek to fulfill their desires when you're not present. They're not going to go seeking for another woman to fulfill what they're lacking. They're not going to do that, aka cheating. They also value sharing aftercare. They're not going to have a wandering eye for someone else. They wouldn't pressure you into doing things that you're not

comfortable with. It's so sad, there's so many people out there who have the bar set just so, so low, and I see so many videos of girls saying, I just wish my boyfriend would stop watching porn or I'd wish she would give me aftercare, I wish she wouldn't text other girls behind my back. I'm like, oh my gosh, girl, you're accepting it right there and then it's going to get worse from there with the disrespect. If you realize you've been seeking attention from guys who aren't reciprocating respect back to you or even realize that the relationship that you're in, you've been accepting disrespect. You need to take your power back. If your crush is not reciprocating the time and energy that you're giving to them, then move on. That's not the guy for you. They aren't in the

wrong that they don't like you. No one has to be interested in you. It's not their fault that they don't like you. It's not your fault if you don't like someone else. If they aren't interested in you, be thankful. Be thankful that they rejected you because now you're being redirected to the right person. You wouldn't want to have to, quote, win someone's love. So if you're trying to constantly impress someone to get a thumbs up from them, You're just trying to win someone's love. You don't want to have to win someone's love your whole life. You want to feel comfortable.

You want to feel happy. You want to feel safe. And this is where it goes straight back to the original problem, which is you need to be completely satisfied and happy without a man, a boy, or a partner. If you are single, this is your time to build the self-love and independence like you never have before. You're ready to be in a relationship when you know if something were to happen in your relationship or this person did something to hurt you or your relationship ended. You'll not be

quote, broken and you'll be okay. You're also ready for a relationship when you go into a relationship knowing if this person were to cheat on you, you would have the self-respect for yourself to break off the relationship or to not accept disrespect. Self-respect and knowing your worth is just so important when meeting guys, dating, marriage. If you're seeking attention from guys, you're craving self-love. That's the truth. You're just craving self-love and attention from yourself, actually. Whatever attention that they're giving to you to get a temporary feeling of happiness when they message you back. Replace the time and energy that you're giving to guys who aren't reciprocating to give that time to yourself and that energy to yourself. Give yourself an attention

that you're giving to them. I hope this episode was able to help you guys realize how men are not all that. Correction, boys. Boys are not all that, but real men who respect women and respect your wishes, your boundaries, and no general respect are amazing and they compliment so wellly in a relationship. Set the bar high, set your standards high, know your worth, have love for yourself. And remember, it all narrows down to having self-love and self-respect for yourself. So if you're not having that, you will not have a healthy relationship with someone else. Have a healthy relationship with yourself, where you can be totally okay without anyone, or if someone were to hurt me in this relationship, you will have the respect for yourself to leave. I hope you guys enjoyed this

episode so much. I appreciate you dolls so, so dearly. Please feel free to check out my Instagram, Jeanne Haley, all linked in the show notes of my socials. If you want to see more content of my everyday life, wellness tips, and more. Please feel free to read over Spotify to keep us on the charts and to also leave an Apple podcast review if you want to be featured on next week's episode. Also, a video episode is coming so soon, so stay tuned. Please feel free to share over Instagram, TikTok, whatever social platform tagging me of you listening to Busy at Pretty.

I love you dolls so much and don't forget to stay busy at Pretty. and know you're worth. Know you're worth. You're hot. You're sexy. And I love you dolls.