Call Her Daddy - 104- The Roadmap to his A**hole

Episode Date: December 9, 2020

Father Cooper discusses what is about to happen in the next 24 hours of her life, and it includes 2 men. A DP?! No lol. Maybe. Then, she is joined by the brilliant sex therapist and Daddy Gang favorite, Emily Morse! Emily and Alex discuss how to tell your partner you have sexual trauma (TRIGGER WARNING 14:22-17:51), men that can’t get hard, dating a pre-mature ejaculator, how to ride dick with your legs around his head, ways to finger and eat his/her asshole, vaginismus, herpes AND MUCH MORE. Enjoy Daddies!!

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy well well well if it isn't the motherfucking episode of call her daddy i'm having a mental breakdown hey guys what's up i'm doing this and when i tell you i may sound out of breath i just sprinted down my basement stairs what do you mean mean, Alex? I'm back in my parents' fucking basement. Yeah, you heard that right. We're back where it all fucking started. The single father era. Remember guys, when I was like, hey guys, I'm in my parents' basement and Lori would come down and she'd be in the middle of doing my fucking laundry. We're back, bitches. So I'm back in my parents' basement. Honestly, I don't love it. I don't hate it. I'm just indifferent. I'm honestly blackout right now. And let me explain why. It's currently Tuesday night. Now, usually I am prepared and ready. And

I usually have this intro and this episode done before Tuesday night. And Tuesdays, I edit the podcast. But no, no, no, no, no, no, folks. This week's a little bit different, you guys, because you see Alex is having a mental breakdown. You're all like, okay, Alex, folks. This week's a little bit different, you guys, because you see Alex is having a mental breakdown. You're all like, okay, Alex, chill for a second. So in the midst of my mental breakdown, on top of all of this, I went and got my eyebrows done. I know it sounds weird. Just stick with me. It's a Tuesday.

I'm feeling ugly as fuck. I haven't gotten my eyebrows down in so fucking long that it technically looks like I have the largest forehead in the game because I don't have eyebrows. They're blonde right now. So I need to get that shit put back on my head. So it does a nice little ratio between my eyeballs and my forehead. Okay. No one gives a fuck. I go to get my eyebrows done. I, my eyebrow woman, shout out Liz. I've been going to her since I was in high school. She is the motherfucking shit. I walk in and she's like, oh my God, there is a Daddy Gang member also here getting her eyebrows done. And I'm like, no fucking way.

So I start talking to this girl, Dom, shout out. She's 18. She's a dental assistant. She is from Pennsylvania and she loves a podcast. She's Daddy Gang through and through. We love to see it. And so we start chatting. We're talking.

I'm like, thank you so much for listening and supporting and then she has the audacity to look me directly in the eyes and she's like I am so excited for tomorrow's episode now in this moment daddy gang I love you so much Dom shout out but I had a moment where I just reactionary wanted to backhand you because I'm like, don't fucking remind me that it is a fucking Tuesday and my intro isn't ready. My episode's not ready. And I was like, oh my God, that's so excited that you're so excited for Wednesday. Thank you so much for listening. Like, I love you, blah, blah, blah. But I was like, it just, the funny thing is, is the episode's not done. And she was like, what? I'm like, no, I know. It looks like I'm

just chilling here getting my eyebrows on. The episode's not done. And let me explain to you why the episode's not done. Guys, I've been really struggling. I am in this new era of trying to be health and wellness. I'm just taking people's feelings more into consideration other than just my own. You know, in therapy, it's not all about Alex, you know, it's about others too. And by others, I mean the men that I'm fucking. And so one of the guys that I'm seeing, I am very aware that he listens to this podcast. Hello. Hey girl. Hey boy. And so I am trying to be like, Hey, you know, I know I've told him that I'm dating other people, but I don't, I don't think that it feels great when he hears me saying that I'm doing other things with men. So that's just what that is. So my entire issue with this intro was I

wanted to tell you guys the truth. That's what I'm supposed to do, right? But I was like, damn, this sounds fucked up. You're all like, Alex, what's happening? Okay. I've been putting off this intro because what it started as is it was going to be that on Wednesday, when I released this episode, I'm going into New York. I'm staying in a hotel room because I obviously don't have an apartment in New York anymore. And then on Thursday morning, I'm getting on a plane and I'm going to see a man. Okay. Now listen to all of everyone, Alex, are you COVID? Whatever. Listen, I fucking get it. Trust me. But a girl's got to get fucking content. I've got my hazmat suit. I've got my fucking face shield,

my extra fat ass fucking gloves, and all of the hand sanitizer in the world stocked in my fucking pockets. And also just shout out to anyone that's going to come for me. If it was illegal to get on a plane, I'd be in fucking jail. Okay. I'm taking all the precautions. I'm going to get on a plane I'd be in fucking jail okay I'm taking all the precautions I'm going to get dick so that was gonna be my intro whoo yes she's going then something else happened and that was where I was struggling to be like I could just tell them that but in true daddy gang Alex Cooper fashion this is of course my life and I want to tell you guys when I go to New York and I stay in the hotel room, I'm going on a date, not with the man I'm going to see. The night before I leave

for my flight, I'm going into New York and I'm meeting this guy for a date. We love that. We love that. Everyone's like, OK, Alex, we condone. I know. I just feel bad. I'm sorry. Shout out the guy that's listening. You and your family. You guys are amazing. Great people. Honestly, this is all a lie. It's just for the show. Done again. You're in a literal. So that's where I'm at. So basically there's this guy that I connected with on Instagram and he goes back and forth between LA and New York and he messaged me and he was like, I'm going to be in New York. Like, let me get a drink with you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I've always been interested in this guy I've never fully met him we've only connected on the internet but I can just tell like fuck there could be something there so by my huge

mistake and I mean huge mistake I told the one person that I shouldn't have told you're all like the guy no my mother okay this. This intro is taking a twist. Here we go. I told my mom about the guy that wanted to go on a date with me. And she was like, Alexandra, you're going on the date. Now, if you guys remember back in the days, my mother is yes, she's a psychologist. And yes, she's great and gives great advice but there's also something that she is and she's a fucking FBI agent to the mother fucking core who Lori Cooper really is is when Alex Cooper comes to her mother and she says mom I may go on a date with this guy before I can even blink Lori Cooper has the whole rap sheet she knows the man's height she knows his weight she knows his family history his lineage his net worth every single fucking

thing that you need to know about someone you're about to go on a date with my mother has it ready to go so i tell about the guy i'm like should i go on the date is it fucked up no it's not fucked up to double dip like one guy and another guy and like who gives a fuck right i'm single whatever and my mom is like you're going on the date and And I'm like, oh, why? Lori Cooper does some hardcore research. She loves the guy's background. She loves specifically the family background. That night, I'm like, I don't know. I'm still deciding. My mom says, come watch a movie with me. We sit down, we press play on the movie. And one minute in, I realized we are watching a movie about this man's family. Okay. I can't make this shit up, guys. And I'm like, mom, Lori Cooper's like, Alex, come on. Like you should, you should like get to know, like, look, it's so cool. Like he has

all his family literally has a movie about them. In that moment, I just flash forward and I'm like picturing myself on this date and I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. I'm like, your aunt is so pretty. And he's going to be like, how do you know what my aunt looks like? It's like those memes where people like you've stalked them so hardcore that then you're on the first date and you're like i mean wait you're no i'm at my aunt you're what are you talking about shut the fuck up can i get a drink like i'm gonna know everything about this guy before i go on the date he's handsome he's intelligent he's educated he comes from a great fucking family why not right so that's why i decided and so i guess i did it i guess i did it i apologize to both men men in advance um and well the other the one that i'm going the first day with won't know i did well

he may know about the podcast so i apologize in advance to the guy that i'm coming to see on a plane i apologize that first i'm doing a quick pit stop to have a drink with this guy but the thing that you can hopefully lean on is maybe this will make me like you more. Maybe this date will be fucking awful. I have a feeling it's not going to be awful. You know what? You can just tell you're going to vibe with someone. So I don't know.

So, I mean, I feel like my mom always has a pretty good inclination of what men I'm going to get along with and vibe with. She loved door number three. She loved the man from la and now here we are this man she's like you gotta go get him big al so that's what i'm doing guys so when i release this um episode you guys can be listening i'll be getting ready for my date in new york and i'll be going on that date and then the next morning i'll be getting on a plane and going to see a man and all is well in love and war. No, that's not. Welcome to fucking call her daddy today, folks. I think this was making me feel as though I'm

realizing that the floodgates are soon going to be opening. Now, don't get me wrong. I realize that the vaccine isn't out yet. But when this fucking thing comes out, I can't believe I'm saying it, but like life is going to go back to normal soon at some point at least after the new year March whenever it's gonna go back to normal and I feel like it's so crazy to sit here and remember back when I was starting the first episode of how to survive quarantine almost a year ago now that's fucking wild we had no idea how long we were gonna be in this now a year almost later it's about to be back to normal the world is going to go back to normal hopefully soon and when that happens every single person in my dms that is saying their sex life is fucking

suffering from corona oh my god i haven't gotten fucked in so long oh my god i'm so over facetime sex oh my god i'm so over dating apps cross our fingers but it's gonna go back to fucking normal and so daddy gang in the spirit of mentally preparing ourselves to get fucking ready to get back into the fucking dating game in person dating i thought who better to have on who better to give us some fucking dick riding finger up the asshole mouth on the asshole fucking tips other than the one the only emily morse daddy gang i am here with the one and only dr. Emily Morse thank you for coming so excited we're back I know we've got a lot to cover so everyone last episode with Emily so many people were reaching out and I was just telling Emily before we started recording it made me so happy that

so many women wrote in when we talked about sexual trauma and for sex fantasies. There were a lot of women that had so much guilt, so much shame. And Emily, you did an amazing job outlining like why you should not feel shame and why you should not feel bad about those things, like having those thoughts and feelings. Right. So thank you so much. Of course. Let's just get right back into it. This actually picks kind of up back from where we were last episode together and so we have a girl that is asking so i have sexual trauma and i have a boyfriend how do you suggest going about telling a new partner that you are getting involved with

that you do have sexual trauma and that it does affect you in a specific way because i couldn't totally get it if it's a one-night stand daddy daddy things like i'm not gonna walk in like hey by the way and it's like okay they don't need to know that shit but as you get more into a relationship how do you think is the best way to go about it well first the most important thing is to make sure that you're with a trusted partner that this is actually someone it's not that you've been together a month and you think it's just casual because when you're going to reveal your trauma to somebody, you want to make sure they can hold the space, they can handle it, that you already trust them.

So once you've covered all of that, I think it's important to also have done your work. So have you been to therapy? Have you figured out how the trauma is impacting you as a sexual being? And maybe you haven't yet, but you still want to bring it up. But let's say there was a sexual assault. What I would recommend is just saying, listen, it's timing, tone, and turf. I don't know if I talked about the last time. A little bit, yeah.

Outside the bedroom. So timing is you want to make sure it's a good time when you're not like drunk. You're chilling. Turf is outside the bedroom for all these kind of conversations it's not just right before you have sex definitely not right after and then your tone is casual and even just earnest and just saying listen babe i want you to know baby sweetie whatever this is really hard for me to say and i want you to know that i've experienced some sexual trauma and this is you could say this is what happened. I was assaulted. I was, I was raped. I

had molestation. And as a result of that, you need to know that because, and then you get to fill in the blank because when there's really rough sex, it triggers me. And then I shut down or I'm actually not able to have sex without the lights on because I have fear around blank. So you have to fill in because you have to remember that our partners don't know what to do with it so just to say I got off my chest I was assaulted let's go bang it's like yeah it almost like that makes me think too like so bringing it all the way back to just like if you have had something happen to you that maybe wasn't even sexually trauma and you go to your partner, sometimes, especially with a male partner, sometimes I feel like women are so upset by the man's reaction. And I realized like this actually happened to me in a situation. I was

telling the guy that I'm seeing something and his reaction, I was like, that's it. But it was because men, I feel like have a really hard time if they can't directly control it or do something about it. Men are like, well, I'm useless. What do you want me to say to this? Right. Yes. And the great way to exactly and the great way to to start that conversation is to let them know I want to tell you something and I really just need you to listen. Yes.

Because what if you are look so that's such a great point is if you are looking to them to to nurture you and to take care of you and to say the perfect thing, not going to happen at all. So why are you telling them, first off? If you're telling them because you want sympathy, if you're telling them because you want them to know why you were being an asshole the night before, or whatever it is, just make sure you're going for the right reasons. And hopefully you're going because you've worked it through in therapy.

Because I want to repeat this again because it's important, is that sexual trauma doesn't just go away. It's not like, I used to think that time heals all wounds it does not no actually they just go deeper and they're insidious and then you're 40 and then you still are experiencing trauma so go see a therapist that deals with sexual trauma yeah and then just listen tell them what you need it's not a one-time conversation you can keep updating on it so i think that's beautiful And I also think I remember reading like somewhat reading the book, like men are from Mars, women are from Venus and you saying, Emily, I think that's huge.

Daddy gang listening. If you're always super upset with how your partner is responding, you telling the man first, like, I just need you to listen and be there. That gives a man a cue, like, okay, so she doesn't need me to solve anything. Cause if you're going at a man and you're like bitching about your problems a lot of times men are just like i don't know what i'm supposed to do here and that's i feel like why sometimes we're just like really let down by their responses yes and the good thing about this what i love is it is that maybe we should do that all the time like if you're bitching about your best friend or work or my boss i don't need you to tell me to go to human resources or I don't need you to tell me to quit my job. I'm actually going to tell you a story right now and I need you to listen or I need you to laugh.

What do you need? Why are you telling – if you're constantly disappointed by your partner, they probably don't know what you need. It's so true. They're fixers. They want to fix. Exactly. Everyone listening. So men, if you hear us right now, we're literally saying you guys have to understand a lot of times women just want to bitch and we just want to talk we can talk about things

over and over and over again my favorite thing to do i'm like oh we talked about it okay let's talk about it one more time 20 more times next week we're going to talk about it again women that's how women are so men half the time you have to understand that when your girlfriend is bitching all she wants you to do is just listen and then on the other aspect it's like girls listening you have to understand men have a very hard time when they can't provide a direct solution something tangible they're like i don't know what i'm supposed to do with this information and so you have to maybe like give him the precursor to be like hey i just want you to be there and listen with me sorry i'm bitching i just need someone to sit and listen and it's a skill set too so you're not going to find it i don't mean to be

ageist here, but a lot of men in their 20s and women in their 20s, they might not have done their work yet. Even 30s, unless they went through something and they had to go to therapy. We don't know these things, but you could learn together. You could say, okay, let's figure out what we actually need. It's a great practice because then you'll be able to use that

for the rest of your life. That is so brilliant because it's, and I'm not saying everyone has to be in therapy, but if you are listening to this pot, I agree, but you kind of do. And everyone's like, well, I listened to call her daddy or Emily, like to get my therapy. But say if you're not in therapy and you're thinking about going to therapy, I can't say it enough how much has already changed my life. It's making me understand like how much it significantly can affect a relationship in the most positive aspect so like if you are in a relationship and you want to go to couple therapy

or just go to cut like therapy by yourself i would encourage you guys to do so because it really is life-changing it is life-changing you're just learning skills listen we all had childhoods that are going to impact us throughout our life you might even think it was the perfect childhood but there's no such thing. We all have stuff. It could just be one thing. The time you weren't picked for the team in third grade and now you've constantly feel insecure about things. And as a result of that, that's showing up when you're 25.

I mean, it doesn't end. And so just to go unpack that stuff, it doesn't mean you're insane. No one's going to lock you away. You're not going to get a weird diagnosis. It's actually going to help you with your entire life, with your job, with your work, with your sex life. And when you were saying that, Emily, it made me also think like, when you are in therapy, you start to learn, like you're saying the, the issues within yourself.

So then when you're in a relationship and they're doing something to you, it's not always putting blame on the other person. Cause you're like, well, I know this is what I struggle with. And so how can I articulate it to my partner? Like, hey, these are the things that I know I'm bad at or I'm not I'm not comfortable with. And then share it. Do you want to give an example maybe of what you've learned in therapy and how you're planning that in your relationship? Oh, my God. That's a good one. OK, so I have this. Like, I am very bad at sharing when I am upset with someone.

And so I usually just shut down and I have this. I don't know why, but I'm getting there in therapy. But like I constantly think that no one actually really cares about other people's shit. I don't think that other people really care at times, like especially with the men I've dated. But that's just by choice because I've dated assholes. So a lot of times, every time I've gone to a past lover to be like, Hey, this is what I'm struggling with. They give me an answer that is so inadequate to what I'm looking for that I started to just internalize everything and never share it. So in therapy, I've been unpacking that. And with the guy that

I'm currently seeing, instead of shutting off, I let him know I do that. So every time I'm being quiet or something's wrong with me, he'll be like, let's just talk about it. Like, obviously something's wrong, Alex. And he'll put me on the spot and it has literally changed my life because now I'm being so much more open and I'm allowing someone to be there for me when I'm feeling like shit. So had I not articulated to him like, Hey, this is what I do usually when I'm stressed or I'm struggling or like, I just don't think you're going to care. I kind of need a little bit of push to show like hey this is what I do usually when I'm stressed or I'm struggling or like I just don't think you're going to care I kind of need a little bit of push to show like you really do care and now he's

been doing that all the time and it's like really been life changing that is that's a great example perfect example perfect example that they let your part I believe that in relationships your partner wants to please you they want to be a good lover he wants to be a good boyfriend but but from your conditioning for whatever, you had to take it out.

The guys you dated were assholes. They didn't have the skill set. This is what we're saying is that most people don't have the skill set. You wouldn't have known a year ago maybe how to express that. Right. So there it is. Therapy helps you figure out your needs, get your needs met. Everyone get in therapy.

Yes. Emily. Yes. We have so many questions. We have so many questions we have so many things um okay being the queen over there that you are yes babe i think it's super interesting to have ask another woman there are so many girls that are very insecure about getting on top of a guy and having sex and i'm so sick of it because i know the daddy

gang is too when you ask someone like wow like how do i get on top and like ride a guy and be confident and then everyone's like you just gotta have that self-confidence and like body love and it's like no no we want actual details of like how like are do you have any tricks like when you think of yourself in the bedroom are there any like go-to emily things that you do because i think truly if you can one is obviously be confident but two if you have a couple tricks like when you're riding a guy on top you can really make him fall in love and you watch his face and he just like goes into a different dimension when he sees you up there like owning it so the thing about on top is it's you want to do something that feels good to you so since every

woman orgasms differently and you might not even know like let's talk about this too we already covered that most women are not going to come that way but the reason why women on top is so popular is because women who do orgasm during penetrative sex are more likely to orgasm on top because we're in control of the movement the depth the speed we kind of were in control which is awesome but then we were like great I'm in control now what the fuck do I do right so what you do is you play around with different positions now what I recommend is personally I don't think that the going up and down is a thing that's hot for the guy. Of course. I don't know that that feels as great to many women.

However, if you're going up and down like the pogo stick thing, you can make sure that you really want to. It's all about having enough clitoral stimulation. So you could still use your fingers and be rubbing you in every position. Another thing to do is to lean forward and lay completely flat. I'm going to give you some options. There's a position called the cat. It's the coital alignment technique.

So what you're doing is you're able to, when you're lying flat on him and maybe you're like making out, you're able to really rub your pelvic floor on him. It's really intimate. It can be really hot because you can like make out, but you're like still on top, moving back and forth. So that's one, you want to make sure that you are paying attention to what actually feels good to you. So for some women who actually need to keep their legs closer together as well, there's some women, do you forget those emails? So, so this way, if you're on flat, your legs can still be squeezing tighter and then you're moving back and forth. So that's, I love that one too, because, and again, that is a more intimate position but even if it's not your boyfriend and

you're doing that i think a lot of times if you lower yourself basically daddy gang we're saying like onto his chest and then you can also still put your hand like under there and be rubbing your clit you can be like making out with him and then also start like breathing into his ear and talking dirty to him and then you can be like kissing down his neck, et cetera. And then also you can just kind of put your head next to his almost and just be basically like, you don't have to be staring at his eyes all the time. No, no, you don't need to be like eye contact. No, no, no one wants that the entire time.

I love that one too. You can breathe. Okay. So that's one. And then also when you're on top, you can play it. So I think that we just, we know the basics, right? Your knees are back, but you could also do it. So your, your legs are, are full, like around his, his head. You can kind of like the basics, right? Your knees are back. But you could also do it so your legs are full, like, around his head.

You can kind of, like, kick him. Oh. Yeah, like you're lying this way. Wait. I don't know. Like, legs out. Yeah. And he could even be pulling you back and forth that way.

Oh, my God. Wait. I want to try this. I've never done this. Yeah. So you put your legs basically around his, like, neck almost. Around his neck, yeah. And then if, obviously, he could almost be pulling you by your hips and, his like neck almost and then if obviously he could

almost be pulling you by your hips and like pulling you into him exactly and you're almost kind of both laying like flat up exactly that is so hot the other thing is now so you're in this position where your legs are he could also sit up and then you could be sitting this is really hot have you ever done this one where you're in bed you're on the bed so he's sitting up you're sitting up and so your legs are wrapped around each other that is hot yeah that's a really hot. Have you ever done this one where you're in bed, you're on the bed, so he's sitting up, you're sitting up, and so your legs are wrapped around each other. That is hot. Yeah. That is fucking hot.

That's a really hot one, too, because then you could also, I think that women assume they have to bounce up and down in that one, but you can go back and forth with that one as well. I think one of the hottest ones that I, what I enjoy and, like, how I usually have an amazing orgasm this way, and I can have it like internally and externally is when I am on top. But if I'm leaning back because the penis is like hitting my G spot. And then when you're leaning back and then you can like use one of your hands to rest behind you onto the mattress and then you can be stimulating your own clit and you're kind of doing the grinding

motion, but it's almost like a back and up motion on the dick. Yes, so leaning back is another. Yes, and then you can kind of feel it hitting your pelvic walls. Right, exactly. And then you're getting yourself off. So leaning back is another one, but for some women that doesn't feel good. But it's true. You want to lean back.

You don't want to bend their penis off, obviously. No, don't break it. Unless you're really pissed at him. But if you're sitting up straight, that's great. Leaning back and it's hitting the wall. You can also start to spin around. That's another one. Oh, my.

Emily. Have you ever done the spin around? Wait, you reverse cowgirl. Right, right, right. But like, it is kind of funny if you try to keep the dick in you and you're like,

Oh yeah, I do that. Emily's like, sweetheart, that is my specialty. That's my specialty. Dick stays in and I spin. I forgot about it.

And then I had a friend say to me once, do you ever do reverse cowgirl? I'm like, I fucking forgot. So I was with a guy that night and I was like, Oh dude, I want to, and then I,

you just spin. You're like, I forgot who I am. Let me get on here and do it. Oh, let me spin. Let me sit and spin. So you spin around. You could also be doing cowgirl, and you could lay back. So then you're also getting the, you know, if you lay back on them, you've done that probably.

And obviously, listen, and it sucks. Sometimes it doesn't work as well if the guy's penis is a little bit smaller. But if he does have a decently good-sized penis, and then you are doing reverse cowgirl and then you daddy gang you lay back basically onto his chest yes that can be hot because then you can literally just have him inside you you're kind of grinding around on his dick and you can be getting yourself off with your on with your hand on your clit or you can also get his hand and like use his hand yes use his toy and show him use a cock ring use something like

then you could actually wear during sex. That's awesome. But for a lot of women, if you go in and you're like, oh, I'm going to rub my clit. I'm going to move around. I'm going to use his body like a fucking joystick. I'm going to ride his penis, not in a way that looks good to him, but that looks good to me. Feels good to me. Use him as a research experiment to figure it out.

And listen, if a man authentically sees you have an orgasm, because you are getting up and you're losing that. When we say confidence, this is what we mean by it. We mean that you're confident because you know that you are going to get off your, you know, your body because you've spent time exploring and masturbating. And then you just get in there. Know that you can move your mobile.

Every woman in the next, whenever you're having sex, you're getting on top. And I don't care if you're scared. Try it. Try it. It's hot. And remember, you could leave a shirt on.

People are so concerned about their bodies. That's the other thing I want to say about it. Is that you could wear, like if you feel comfortable with an off-the-shoulder shirt, let's say. You could wear a t-shirt. You could get the lighting right. Put some lingerie on. Lingerie. Lingerie.

Find something that makes you feel sexy. The lighting, can I quickly just say, men, if you want to get fucked, don't be like, hey, do you want to come over, Rebecca? And it's like the lights are at a 10 and you can see every crevice of each other's bodies. Like maybe let's dim the fucking lights, dudes. Bring a candle. Set the scene. Some guys don't have candles.

Like bring, make it. It will be advantageous for you because girls will get 10 times fucking nastier if it's just like a little bit less of an intrusive moment where they're like, okay, you can literally see all of my lips and everything happening, which is hot. But for a first time hooking up, maybe a girl's not as confident. So like ease into it with lighting definitely helps. And don't feel pressure that you have to do any of these things. But I'm telling you, don't avoid woman on top of you've never tried it or

any of the things or the light or just listen just remember this they don't know what to do either like i think we give men so much power so figure out what's good for you and bring that to the table guys who who can't get hard during sex like let's say even young men did we talk about this no let's go into it penises are malfunctioning at an alarming rate right now. Wait, that's not funny, but it's funny. No, it is kind of funny. We have so many fucking issues as women. Like, go fuck yourselves, men.

Like, that's the one thing they have to deal with. But also, it is kind of fucked. I always kind of feel bad for guys because there's two things. One, we can get a boob job. We can get all these things. We can wear makeup. Guys, your dick is your dick. And, like,'s two things. One, we can get a boob job. We can get all these things. We can wear makeup. Guys, your dick is your dick. And like, that's it. And then also it's not like when you come back and you're fucked up at a bar and like you can basically always said you can fake it. We don't we don't want anyone to fake it, but you can fake an orgasm. You can put on your

vagina. He can't think that his fucking dick is hard if it's little and it's flaccid. It's flaccid and it's a little macaroni and you're like nothing's happening so like what can we let's talk to guys and be devastating i honestly i'm sorry i'm laughing because men around the world i love you so much and it's it's fucked up it's fucked up but let's help men with their penis i mean you've a lot of men i mean you've had so many i've had girls really write in and be like i literally went out with this guy and we got so fucked up on our first date but it was fun whatever and he couldn't get hard and then he didn't even text me the next day and i always tell those girls like it's not you didn't do anything wrong and if anything that is the one time that i would say text him after because he probably thinks he is so embarrassed

with himself that he doesn't even know if you would want to see him again when really girls we don't really fucking we don't care't care. We're probably psyched anyway. We were drunk, tired. I don't have an orgasm. We covered this last time, but I can't say this enough. Only 20% of women are going to have an orgasm with a penis during intercourse. 20%. Right.

You didn't really care. They didn't get hard. You could let them know that and be like, I'm cool, dude. If you can't get hard, you have a mouth. Go down and eat me out, and I'll probably enjoy that even fucking more. Well, women are more likely to orgasm with a mouth with fingers right we talk about this so not a penis not a penis so we don't even put that much weight on your penis as you do no so they freak out and then what happens is as oh this is this vicious cycle so they feel bad but women what do we do i wasn't

hot enough i didn't do enough i was giving a blow job. I can't believe his penis malfunctioned at this rate. What happened? It has nothing to do with you. Most of the things we worry about are not really the cause of it. It has nothing to do with you. So for the penis thing, we are seeing men a lot. So I used to, when I started this, it was really only men over 40 who had erectile dysfunction

because your testosterone starts to drop over the age of 40. It just does. Not every man's going to experience this, but now I'm hearing like 18-year-olds, 25-year-olds all the time. Every night they call into my show and it's like, shit. Why? Well, I think a lot of it has to do with anxiety.

Yeah. That there's more anxiety now that people are because a lot of this the best news is for men and for women who are not orgasmic or they can't get hard we can work through this stuff it has to do with like anxiety and worry but it could also be because of the foods we're eating we're seeing that testosterone in in generations like the last 20 30 years this is a whole nother this has not even been out that much but friggin there's the hormones in our foods are so messed up that men are being born with less testosterone. Wow. I mean, this isn't even like a, so I kept thinking it's anxiety, it's medication, it's people not being active and exercising.

Because the first thing I have to say with before I freak you out about all the foods and hormones is that it's a blood flow problem. If you are not exercising and eating healthy, your penis will not get hard. If your blood is not, it will not be able to maintain erection. So make sure that you cover all of those things. You eat healthy, you exercise, go to your doctor, get your testosterone checked. Right. So it also is so fascinating because I remember when I started to kind of like hook up with an ex again and this is like no shame to him because I again I can't even imagine how uncomfortable he felt but I'd started the show and I'd known him prior to the show and I can imagine like hooking up with someone that has a sex podcast, especially mine that I sometimes happen to like really just talk about my life on this and like really talk about my experiences.

We were we hadn't seen each other. I get down for the weekend. We're going to have sex for the first time. He can't get hard and I felt so bad because he had been hyping it up so much and sexting me and talking to me about how much he wanted to fuck me and then I get there and this is a very like manly man and he cannot get hard and after I started my show and I would be hooking up with this person multiple times has happened and he had made comments to me like on different days but not right after but he would have been

like well like are you gonna tell like are you gonna talk about that on your podcast that like that happened and like I could just tell I felt so bad that he was so insecure about it and I was like no I'm not gonna talk about it granted I'm talking about it right now years later but I do think that men and their penis as much as i've always said like they're two different brains when it's coming down to it it's one brain and so if you aren't able to be there in your head guys then why the fuck would your other head be able to work and function if you are worrying if your blood is rushing to your head because you're obsessing and you're worried just think about it leaving your penis leaving your genitals and going up to your head because you're obsessing and you're worried, just think about it leaving your penis,

leaving your genitals, and going up to your head because you're obsessing. So going back to your guy with the penis, it's like with the penis, they all have penises, but not the erection. It could also be alcohol, foods, if he was really wasted,

we all know like whiskey dick. Yes, yes, yes. But like there's so many other factors that go in. It's really, there's like 10 different factors that go into it. Yeah, and I think that any man listening to this, this can be kind of an amazing thing for you to hold on to that like when you have whiskey dick and you can't get hard you are overthinking it and you think that the girl like thinks you're pathetic and whatever and oh my god he didn't even get hard and whatever

we really like don't care because at the end of the day women if we had to get hard and you had to like actually see us be turned on before you fuck us i don't know how often we would be having erection we would never have sex right so we are fortunate that we can kind of mask it but men just know that like we're really understanding and like girls aren't being like he couldn't get hard like when we talk about it that way it's like oh because he was fucked up and he couldn't get hard but just know that when we're having our little powwows with our girlfriends we're not like making fun of you i like don't give a fuck i'm like yeah he remembered who cares whatever it's fine now if it's every day obviously he never has you never

seen him actually like i dated a premature ejaculator for two years we know in my early 30s i was like oh i think that's might be why i'm here you're like that's why I'm here to speak about these things I was like how did I because I didn't know what to do I didn't know what to say wait like how soon what do you like a minute no but I was really busy I was making a film at the time you're like you're like get out of my face I know but I just didn't know how to deal with it and I was like bought him a book and I thought he should do it you You bought him a book. About how to do it. And he never did the thing. Did he ever verbally?

I thought it was because he was stoner. No. Emily's like, I bought him a book. He's like crying. But every time he came super fast, would he say something? Like, I'm so sorry? It had also been a challenge for him

in all of his relationships. And then I came up with his other exes and they all said the same thing too. My point is that – What do you do? Oh, God. But PE is a whole other thing. Okay.

Maybe we shouldn't even get into it. No. I mean there's so much – God bless. This is some serious time. I know. Well, it's good. I mean –

Well, these are like real life issues. This is really like – I just want people to give you permission to communicate openly and freely with your partner about what's going on. Anal. Let's do it. Anal. do it anal okay so we're gonna start light like there we talked about it a little bit last time where we were just saying like first explore anal play you're not gonna be like i have never i haven't even had a guy lick my ass i haven't had a finger in there but like let's do anal and like shove a dick in my ass daddy gang

no ease the fuck into it just like if you're like going to hook up with someone a lot of times you start with getting fingered and then you go to eating out and then there's a blow job and it's like remember when we were back in like seventh grade it was like what base did you guys go to like i went to second base or third base that's kind of like with the asshole okay we're starting at first base with the asshole before we go for a grand slam home run. Yeah, don't go from zero to anal. You do not want to go right.

This penis is just going right inside me. That is not, no. Then you're going to pass out like me. And use lube. It hurts. It hurts so bad. Listen, gallons of lube. Like so much lube.

So I love that we're starting this way. First step to having anal and to understand, let's call it anal play. Anal play. Because anal play, it doesn't mean it has to be a fucking penis in your ass without even any preparation. So the first thing is so that the sphincter muscles right outside of the anus has

so many nerve endings. So make sure that you're, first, here's the first thing. Your hands are clean, your nails are trimmed before you go in anywhere. And remember, everyone has anuses so the same rules apply if you're going into a man or a woman. Hands are clean, all those things. You have to use lube.

The anus is not self-lubricating. Can we just pause for a minute there? Everybody, did you hear that? Take a moment. Take a break. And this is where my journey began when the man didn't understand, like, listen, my vagina can self-lubricate. My asshole, not so much, buddy. So everybody listening, whether you're putting a finger in there,

you need to use lube. Lots of lube. Get a lube shooter. They're like you shoot lubes over your ass. Wait, what? I'll hit you on when you come to the office. Wait. You're coming to my –

Oh, my God. You have lube shooters? Dude, wait till you see my office. I have a sex toy closet the size of this room. Emily, men that come and, like, have sex with you must be like, oh, my God. Oh, no, my office is different a sex toy closet the size of this room emily men that come and like have sex with you oh no my office is different i have my home i have so many too oh my god like a sex chamber wait there's like a syringe that you put yeah up your asshole wait you need to give that honey i got stuff for you i feel like a lot of girls are terrified to

go near a guy's ass one because half the time you're like is he even gonna be okay with this which you can kind of what i usually do if like if i'm giving a blow job and it's like one of the first times i'm like hanging out with a guy well i guess i wouldn't eat his ass on the first time i hang out with him but when you get a little bit more comfortable maybe when you're giving a blow job or something or even during sex obviously you lubricate your finger if you don't have lube literally like put a bunch of spit on your mouth or on your hand and then you go down and slowly i feel like as you get past the taint a little bit, like a guy will like back up a little bit if he,

if you know, like, okay, he's not into it right now, but a lot of times guys won't fully pull away, but then don't be like, okay, great.

Now I'm going for the kill and shove your fingers up there. Just rub on the outside of it guys. And start with the perineum too. So the tape, which is, you know, yeah, the space between the space between. So so that area you can even start there you can start to rub

the outside of their their adult or a toe anus but then if you apply pressure to that area if you talk about pressure to that area right you're indirectly stimulating the prostate and the prostate is like the male g-spot it's the peace bot and so you can even just say like I'm gonna rub his a then I'm going to apply pressure there when they're about to come or when you're giving a blowjob. Okay. And see how they react to that. And then you could move your finger up, too. So that whole area, applying pressure there, you're indirectly stimulating the prostate.

So then you go up. And then, so then let's say they're cool with that. Wait, Emily, let me slow down for a second because I think a lot of people get confused. When you're saying apply pressure, are you saying on the asshole or are you saying on the taint? I'm saying the taint. Okay. And what kind of motion do you do? Just like a pressing up?

Just a pressure. Pressure. Like a pressing up pressure. Consistent or do you go up and down a little bit? You just kind of rub it and you apply pressure like this. Like pulsating up. Pulsating up. But you're not like –

No, no. You're keeping it on it and you're just lightly pressing it. And then you're applying some pressure back and forth and back and forth and you're just seeing how they like it. Maybe you're going in circles. Okay. Maybe you're playing a little bit harder pressure, but at first with every sex move, no matter what it is, whether you're with a vulva or a penis, you start slow. So you don't go intense pressure.

Because also, and that's what I, we've always said to men. It's like, you shouldn't feel weird about this because if anything anything you should enjoy this more than women because we don't have a prostate so like you should be like please for the love of god if you are a man and you can accept like not only am i gonna have an orgasm because i'm coming out of my dick i'm also feeling amazing because something's being stimulating my asshole so girls if you're doing if you're giving him head or you're fucking put your hand down there, have it super lubricated, and literally just applying pressure. Pay attention. Yeah.

Pay attention to his face. How does he like it? So then, or she, we're talking about everyone here. So let's go back to the muscles. So you're outside of it, the sphincter muscles, you're feeling it. Then you can take a finger. You can take your pointer finger. Make sure your nails are, again, nails have to be trimmed or whatever.

You can do the pointer finger. That's a really popular one to do some people do their middle finger but i think it's great to start with your pointer finger and then you just start to move it inside slowly okay and see how they are reacting to it and then you can start to move your finger around that's where you or it could be a pinky that's where you start okay this is we need so much help here because the amount of people are like, I need step-by-step. So when we're going to put the finger in, I guess we can talk more about like what the first the girl's going to do to the male. Because I feel like a lot of girls are like, how the fuck, what do I do when I get in there? What am I doing when I get in there? Okay, so when you get in there, you're sticking your finger inside.

And then you are, now you don't want to go all the way deep in. Now you want to just kind of put a finger in. And again, everyone's different. Everyone wants something different. But you're not. Like, we know when guys finger you. Right. And it's the jackhammer.

None of that feels good. So you take your finger. Yeah. So you put the finger in. And then you just start to. You could leave it there for a minute. You could start to. You could start to just move it around inside.

Like, do you swirl it? Swirl it around. Now, let me tell you where it feels great. So the prostate is, find the prostate in the same way that you kind of find the G spot or the G area as I call it. Your finger goes inside

and it's a come hither motion towards the guy's belly button. And that's where you're going to find the prostate. But it's about an inch and a half, two inches inside. You might not want to go all that far the first time because you're just putting a finger in. You're not milking the prostate, perhaps, for the first time. You're not like, we're going in for the kill.

Let's find the prostate and get out. Exactly. Let's do it now the first time. Just like someone's finding your G-spot the first time. Right. It's not going to happen. It also helps for them already to be turned on, to have an erection, all those things. So you go inside.

We're talking about the prostate now. Yep. You go in, and you can just put a finger inside. You could start to move it slowly with lube in and out if they like that, but it can be very painful. So once you get it inside, it can be – especially if you've never had anything in your ass. So once it's inside, you can just leave it there.

So I wouldn't even recommend that you're moving – you could try to move it around. Maybe that's the first step, girls. The first step is you leave it in. First we said apply pressure on the taint, and, like, you can lick the asshole. You can, like, rub around it. And then once you're past past that stage and he's basically giving you the go-ahead like i do kind of like this like anal play then you go in with the finger and maybe you just put it in there almost like a butt plug but it's just your finger it's small we're just literally keeping it there and applying pressure while you're giving him head or while you're having sex then the next step is we could maybe start to do

a little come hither motion but i agree with you i don't know if you putting a finger in and bringing it in and out if this is like the beginning stages it's too much it's too much but that's not even what you want to do with anal play and that's what i think the problem is with anal sex too is especially when it's on a woman or anyone you just think you have to go in and out right you do but you just you really that's not really what yeah it's almost like put it in there and let it marinate in there yeah and let and just feeling that pressure in itself like that's why we like butt plugs because like when i have a butt plug in and i have a dick and a dick when i have a dick when i have a dick in me and my clit is being stimulated you get that full feeling when you're having an orgasm

um okay so that's actually really helpful. So it is kind of the come hither motion. It is the come to find the prostate. So you go in and then you go inside with the come hither motion. Yeah, you'll be able to feel a little raised area. It kind of feels like a peach pit. Got it. Much like the G-spot.

And then once you feel that area towards the belly button, then you start to apply pressure to it. And you just keep, you kind of stroke it with your fingers. So you're applying pressure. There's a little bit of stroking. And there's paying attention to your partner and how they're feeling. And you go slow. And once you're applying that pressure, they might have an incredible fucking orgasm that way.

And a sex act does not make you gay. People think if you get something in your anus, it makes them gay. It just means that you're really fucking smart because you're exploring your body and you know what makes you come yeah and if it makes you come and you enjoy it boom personally like what is your favorite way to begin that with a man are you usually like giving him a blow job or are you like have it doing it during sex like what's your favorite way my favorite way to do anal to anally play with the guy is usually when i'm giving

a blow job the first time I will do exactly what I'm saying. I'll make sure that I have a lot of lube and I'll just start to like move my finger on their taint and start to apply pressure. And you can tell it's funny cause either they're going to move forward. They're going to be like, I want more of that or they're going to pull away. Right. So once they're like kind of leaning in, then I start to kind of use my finger. I usually use my first finger, my pointer finger, and I'll just start to put it in.

And then I just see if they like it. I'm like, okay, no, take it. And I'll leave my finger in. Now, also, I don't leave it in the whole time. So if I'm giving a blowjob, and then sometimes it's when they're about to come or once they're getting really turned on, that's a really good time to put it inside. But I like to kind of dip in there, see how they like it. Then I take it out because it can, and then I'll put it back in again. Yep.

Because sometimes it can be kind of painful. Right. Just like we were talking about these dilators earlier for the vagina, the anus has to open up as well. Think about there's like these tight nerve endings. Oh, here's the other most important thing about anal. You have to breathe. Like if you were like Emily, 30 seconds, best blowjob tips, go.

Then we got to go. It'd be like emily 30 seconds best blow job tips go that we gotta go it'd be like lube breathe go slow yeah that's it like if you're like if i took anything from this episode because another thing is when we are nervous what do we do like you passing out right i just want to like i'm like clenching and he's like dick in the ass i'm like no yeah you clench it's gonna fucking. Of course it'll hurt. But here's the beautiful thing. When you're with a partner that you trust and you go slow and you use lube and you breathe, it can feel amazing. Amazing.

We have so many nerve endings. Yeah. I mean, lately guys are down. That is what I'm saying. I think it's so much hotter when guys are down because that's what I was saying. The guy that I'm seeing right now is like I'm down for everything like you can put something in my ass like I don't care and meanwhile maybe if you're younger you're and you're an inexperienced that's like why does my boyfriend like something in his ass and meanwhile I'm like let's fucking go game on like put something in

mine I'll put something in yours I'm getting hor horny, Emily. Now I'm going to go do this tonight. You're here in LA and you get to see the guy. I'm coming for your ass. I fucking love this. I love it. I love that you're here. Emily, the two words that I cannot, I don't even know how to pronounce them, but Daddy Gang, women have written in and I hear you and I see it all the time. Really what it started with is I didn't know the rhetoric that it, how people explain it

or the exact term, but all I was reading is like, why does sex hurt? Why does sex hurt? And so there were a lot of, um, different terms that were brought up. So Emily and, and, and, okay, let's get into that. What is that? Well, let's talk about it. Cause I think what you also said is let's talk about pain.

Okay. Yeah. Cause rather than if women are having sexual pain, for example, they're having vaginismus right. Oh, oh, endometriosis. Whoa. Yeah. Whoa.

Here she comes. We love when she comes with the big words. Pallicistic ovary syndrome. PCOS. Oh my God. You probably got some of PCOSs maybe. Wait, what is that? I've seen that. It is pallicistic ovary syndrome.

So for many women, these are all related to our pelvic floor. I like to call it the power source. Oh! Women's pelvic floor. This is, we give life, we give birth. This is the center of our creativity. This is the center of creation. 80% of women experience pain during sex at some point in their life. And most women just accept it as normal. They're like, well, I have cramps. I got to give birth. I guess I'll just have painful sex for the rest of my life. But women, you do not have to live in pain.

You do not have to like live a life of that. You have to get to the bottom and the root of it. So vaginismus means that it's a painful when something goes into your vagina, enters you. Vulvodynia, closely related, is like even touching your vulva. So the exterior part of your vagina is painful. But they're very related. Women have this, and a lot of that they can't really figure out. It's more psychological. It could also be a trauma.

For example, a lot of women who have had sexual assault, when you have assault and you're not able to really talk about what happened, we tend to internalize it. And when we internalize pain, suffering, trauma, we tend to clench. We tend to hold ourselves. But as a result of having some kind of repressive trauma, even if it wasn't sexual assault, you have a habit of clenching and tucking and tightening. And so as a result of that, you have physical symptoms but what you can do is go to a pelvic floor physical therapist like if you broke your knee you'd go to a rehab why yes the good news is there's so many more of them now but there were not even a few years i can't even imagine walking into a physical therapist and be like i'm here for my pelvic floor like take care of it it is a life

game you could have back pain if you have pain, you probably have some pelvic floor stuff going on because it's the way that we walk. It is the power. It is everything. The powerhouse, yeah. So if you're walking in a weird way, then usually it goes back to something going on with our pelvic floor. You might be having pain the last 10 years, and you go see a pelvic floor therapist for a few weeks. So you lay back. She'll do a checkup. She starts fingering you. She does, literally. Wait, what? She starts fingering you with gloves. the last 10 years and you go see a pelvic floor therapist for a few weeks so you lay back she'll

do a checkup she'll put her she does literally wait what figure you with gloves she puts inside of you oh they put these things either like dildos and they're dilators this sounds like the best fucking literally place to go so much better than just doing like planks or something with your right oh my god so they and they put inside of you and as and so for women they there's different size dilators oh and so for some women they can't even put tampons in they can't put a penis in a tampon and you use a little one and then you wear it for a little bit and then it starts to expand it's really just your muscles have gotten so tight as a result of clenching holding something you could even have an injury. Horseback riding

when you were three and you don't remember. And it's like, sweetheart, your pussy's not that tight. It's more so because you need help. It's not. It expands it so that you keep trading up dilators or dildos really is what they look like and then they expand and then you open up and then you're sex without pain.

But we don't need to figure out is it endometriosis. That's a little bit different. Endometriosis is a very popular, it's a very common diagnosis. So endometriosis is a result of excess estrogen. And on top of that, if you're taking the birth control pill, that can also have an impact. We're realizing now there's a lot of really bad side effects. Wait, this is a question I have for you. I have a lot of people that ask me, it breaks my heart. People will be like, Hey hey like i just found out that i was diagnosed with herpes and like i do not know what to do and like how do i even go forward and have a normal sex life like do you have any advice for them it's not a death sentence yes and herpes are really

really common i think one out of five or two out of five people have it maybe it's one out of five or two out of five people have it. Maybe it's one out of ten. Fuck. Stats. So listen, the thing is, is that it is not a death sentence. You go to the doctor, you take a daily suppressant. Okay. And if you take a daily suppressant like Valtrex or whatever your doctor gives you, way less likely to be able to spread it.

However, you should also be honest with people. And I wish that people were more honest about it because the more honest we are, you'd realize that probably someone else already has it. And if you explain to them what you're taking, what happened, what the side effects, you have to become educated in whatever your diagnosis is if you have herpes. So your partner knows, like, this is what it means. We can still have sex. If I have an outbreak, I'm not able to have sex with you but otherwise i'm clean you know i'm good to go because i'm not having outbreaks so that it suppresses it so you do not have

outbreaks and it won't be as contained you know yeah transferable yeah transferable i i think i just want everyone listening to know because i do feel like i will never forget when i was in college and my friend walked into the locker room and was like bawling her eyes out and i was like what happened like someone died and she was like i have hpv and i and i didn't i was like so uneducated i don't know what i'm doing oh my god what's gonna happen we're all crying together like huddled around and then meanwhile we all start like researching it with her and we're like we every like it's like everyone almost eventually in their life if you're having sex non-protected like you're getting hpv it's so common it's so common get the vaccine i guess right 28 yes yes yes but like but like you're fine and i i just

think it's important because i feel like when i was younger when i was even in college thinking about myself crying because i'm like my friend's dying and i'm like no she's not like she'll be fine i think that i want to it's not that I'm normalizing STIs on this podcast but I do think there are so many fucking people listening that you don't have a friend to talk to about it you google it and it's just if you have a headache you google something and you're like so I have cancer and I'm dying like everything everything you think you're gonna die so I do think anyone listening that feels alone you don't have siblings to go to friends to go to it's not the end of the world because at the end of the day you should not put blame on

yourself because all of us are having sex so honestly here you go i've been having sex without condoms like i'm fortunate that i don't have herpes or that I didn't get X, Y, Z gonorrhea, whatever. But I could have. It could have. But I could have. So don't feel. Yeah. So don't feel so isolated by yourself. Like I'm disgusting.

No, Alex Cooper could have had it too. Like if there's one thing that this platform can give people, it's to not feel alone. And I do know so many people are so terrified. Oh, yes. You still go about your life and have a normal, healthy sex life. It really, it's not not it's not as awful it's it's really not you take you take care of it some people have one outbreak in their life and that's it yeah it still means that you have to you know tell your partner and you have to you know

we have a lot of information on our site too sexfamily.com we have tons of information that you can find out more about it and just know that everyone like there are there's a lot of people that listen to our podcast and everyone has the same question so just know you're not alone although maybe your friends aren't willing to talk about it at the lunch table because they're fucking pussies and they don't listen to call or daddy um we're here for you and do you say fucking pussies um no so don't don't feel alone emily we it's like we can never we have so much to talk about and it makes me excited to be moving to la having you here kind of as like a someone that i can yeah it is it's crazy to watch you basically doing something so similar to me that like i can now look

up to someone and be like look she's normal and she's thriving and she's you know has a healthy sex life and so um thank you for coming on. I really think we continuously are touching on topics that are eyeopening and I'm so excited to go put my finger in this guy's ass. Got it. It's going to be a big night. Exactly. So, um, sex with Emily, it's, uh, everywhere. It's sexwithemily.com. My podcast is Sex with Emily. We release two to three a week. Feedback at sexwithemily.com if you have questions. I am sexwithemily on all social media. If you have SiriusXM, even if you don't, I'm on there five nights a week,

5 to 7 p.m. Pacific. You can call in with your questions. Thank you so much. Thank you. you so much thank you there is a crowd of people that call themselves the silent sufferers and they don't like when chalk what wait this is color daddy this isn't gossip girl chalk rufus dan blair jenny dorota okay guys guess what questions of the motherfucking week okay all you assholes that are silent sufferers this is the thing i also recognize you do listen to the show so i'll give you guys a fucking break this week questions of a motherfucking okay i'm sorry i had to questions the questions of the motherfucking week

bitches all right let's round off back handspring into these motherfucking questions of the week let's get this one right out of the way the holidays are coming up and we need to squash this piece of shit okay from a daddy gang member love Love you to death. Love you forever. However, let's listen to this. Dear father, I'm conflicted on exchanging Christmas gifts with a guy that I've been dating for only a month, but things are moving quickly. Already bought him gifts. But do I ask him first if we're exchanging? I have no fucking idea what to do, and I don't want to whip out this expensive gift for no

reason. Daddy gang, we're better than this. We're great. Guys, I mean, you'd think that you'd get sick of hearing me say it, but every time the question comes in, I'm going to say it again. Daddy, I love you so much. When you started saying, oh my God, I'm conflict conflicted about this it was in my understanding that you guys had talked about the gift exchange you went and bought a gift for a guy that you've been dating a month and you don't even know if he's fucking packing on his end hold the fucking phone guys in all seriousness if you are wondering if you should give your partner that you just

started dating a gift the answer is fucking no it is i know it sounds shitty but it is always better to be empty-handed than you walk in the fucking door with your little prairie girl skirt on and you're like hey baby i got you this and again you said expensive this bitch says expensive she's like um i got you this gift and he's like oh my god thank you so much and then he's like so oh, my God, thank you so much. And then he's like, so what should we get for dinner? Like he doesn't have a gift. Can you imagine that's going to be a no for me, dog? OK, so my suggestion to you, Daddy, is you wait for him to make the first move. If he never shows up with a gift during Christmas time, you go right back to Macy's sister and you go ahead

and return that goddamn gift. Okay. Dear father, I need some insight. So I hooked up with this guy at my place, woke up the next morning, went to my bathroom and opened the drawer under my sink. I see this black ball of fabric placed in the corner. I don't investigate and I just think that my drunk ass threw my bodysuit in there last night. I go back to bed to continue with this guy. After he leaves, I eventually go back to my bathroom and the black fabric ball is gone. Where the fuck is this going? I think i'm crazy and was just seeing things fast forward to one week later the same guy comes back over and i wake up the next morning and go to my bathroom under my sink to grab some mouthwash and yet again i find the same black fabric ball. What the fuck is going on now? I know I'm not crazy and I know that I saw

it there last week too. So this time I decide to further investigate. I take out the fabric ball and I examine it. Lo and behold, I find myself holding a black tank top. I then proceed to Google the info on the tag and I get the following results. Esteem apparel, compression tank for moobs. I have a few questions, concerns about this. I think it's bizarre he hid it under my sink two weeks in a row. What girl doesn't go under her sink? He came from his apartment to mine, so why not just leave the moob tank there? Yes, he's not in the best shape right now. Who isn't COVID? He doesn't have moobs though. But also, girls wear Spanx and isn't it basically the same thing? Is he just insecure? Are moob tanks a common thing that I'm not aware of? Added info, he has to borrow a hat for his

quote-unquote messy hair for his walk of shame and has yet to return it he also has been all over social media wearing my hat question mark i asked for it back and he's still wearing it needed some input from the og daddy herself and the daddy gang on this situation whoa i think this is the first that I've ever heard of a moob tank um okay this like reminds me this is so random sorry but when you were like girls wear Spanx and like hiding shit I will never forget when back in the day I remember Lauren got like clip-in extensions at one point in her life and I was dying because one night Lauren I had told she's like what do you do when you have the clip-in extensions because when I was younger I had clip-in extensions and I would throw them in

and then the minute I got to my hookup I'd rip them out and then you got to find somewhere to store them if your purse isn't big enough you wrap it in your jacket like wherever you can fucking throw them you put them and literally Lauren told me that she was so blackout that she woke up and the extensions were just laying next to the two of them and literally lauren told me that she was so blackout that she woke up and the extensions were just laying next to the two of them and she was like he literally was like what is that like the extension pullout game before you get fucked is truly one of those that like you throw it anywhere so what i can so you're all like how does this relate to the moob game this relates to the moob game because the moob tank game because I I sympathize

with this guy where he's probably wearing it he wants to look good with his shirt on and you he probably like sucks him in or something and then the minute he's going to have sex with you he's going to the bathroom and he's taking it off and he's storing it in there because he doesn't want you to see that he has a moob tank on the thing I think what this is is he may just be super insecure about his body and maybe he used to be more overweight and so he used to wear it and maybe now although you're saying he isn't he doesn't have moobs maybe he's just so stuck in being insecure because he used to and it makes him feel secure and good and it allows him to

be confident in front of you um and then maybe with like the whole like messy hair hat thing it seems maybe like he is an insecure guy and maybe he used to have insecurities that maybe you don't see which is brilliant and beautiful that you're like i don't think i think he's great um i wouldn't freak out over it I think it's just one of those things that girls wearing Spanx and then you run to the bathroom or you quickly shave your pussy like unfortunately I think sometimes we forget like men are people too and I think that and every man has insecurities and we don't think about it as much because women are so psycho and the amount of insecurities we have top every man's insecurities. I think you should just chill on it.

I think that there's nothing to be freaked out about. I would let him keep leaving his moob tank in your bathroom. And I think with regard to your hat, maybe next time you see him, ask for the hat back and say it has some fucking sentimental value to me, to you. You're like, it was my grandfather's. He gave it to me. Give me my fucking hat back.

And then if he doesn't, I mean, maybe you say I'll trade you. Oh, no, this is what you do next time. If you won't bring the hat back, go into the bathroom, get the move tank, hold the move tank. Say you're not getting your move tank back until you give me my fucking hat back. And then guaranteed he's going to give you that hat back because that move tank means more to him than your fucking hat. OK, boom.

I honestly love that question. But again, I think the moral of the story is guys have insecurities don't forget it all right oh this is sad okay my boyfriend has this girl best friend oh it's you know that it's already break up with him like i already know i'm like nope she has been making my life a living hell for over a year yep she's done nasty things like sending me messages saying she is trying to fuck him and to shut up. Oh my God. This is more aggressive than they usually are. That's one thing she does, but there's a lot more. And it's got to the point where I snapped a couple of weeks ago and told him I was done and broke up with him because I found out that anytime

I said I was uncomfortable by the things she says, they would just laugh behind my back and call me psycho and I don't understand their quirky dynamic bitch good for you but is it quirky dynamic to comment on all his stuff saying I want to fuck you daddy dude she freaked out when he said he was going to focus on me for a bit and she had a bit of a hissy fit anyways he told me if I come back to him he will stop a majority of the contact with her however it's been three weeks and he's already gone to her house for a gathering and anytime i see his photos she has messaged him or snapped him what do i do i've tried every way for him to stop and listen to me but nothing is working we are all adults which is the worst thing because even

though we're in our 20s i feel like this is high school shit dump him sorry nope the fact that this girl best friend is commenting i want to fuck you daddy they're full-blown fucking or they're full-blown edging each other on being like imagine when we do fuck oh my god and if she's saying that shit to him he's fully reciprocating he's fully fucking reciprocating because at what point in that relationship and friendship did she feel comfortable to say, I want to fuck you, daddy? When they were in private or when they were at a gathering that you weren't at and she started talking about it and he engaged. She wouldn't be sending this shit unless she's a full-blown psychopath. But then why is your boyfriend friends with a psychopath?

So my best advice is get the fuck out. Use this as a sign. You're so much better than that. Why are you in a love triangle with your boyfriend and his best friend that's saying that she wants to fuck him absolutely fucking not that's not normal listen i think that it's hard when people are like can guys have girlfriends i'm gonna go ahead and say no i do know obviously some childhood friends and everything whatever those are the ones that are hard because if there's no substantial evidence of flirting then it's like all right what are you gonna do however this absolutely get the fuck out are you kidding

me i want to fuck you daddy well let them fuck each other and you go find someone else it was strong of you to say that you broke up with him but the fact that he was like i'll stop a majority of the contact and then you said i mean i guess you got back with him and now he's already at her house and what you're not invited. Sweetheart, like you're in a full three-way relationship. You might as well have a fucking threesome at this point because they're definitely either fucking or going to fuck or they're talking about it. And the fact that you go to your boyfriend and he goes to her and laughs about it, zero respect for you.

Not, don't even give a fuck about the girl. Your boyfriend has zero respect for you i mean so what does that mean that means you should break up with him oh this is fun let's get real alex the whole daddy gang from amsterdam wants to know what do you think the best sex is makeup sex drunk sex high sex angry sex random sex or outdoor sex thanks for making this amazing podcast wow daddy's from amsterdam hello i see you i love you okay um initially ruling out outdoor sex i just i mean i don't personally i've had sex on the beach and my vagina is not proud about it it's like hey thanks for the sand you stupid cunt. I mean, outdoor sex, what?

In like in the woods that I mean, I just it's just why not be inside in a bed and like not have creepy crawlers up in your vagina? Random sex? No, because you don't even know the person in their body and you don't know how it's going to work out. So it's more like makeup sex, drunk sex, high sex, angry sex. Definitely not drunk sex, high sex, angry sex. Definitely not drunk sex. I mean, drunk sex is fun because you can get fucking wild and lit. But then also it's like half the time I feel like I like, am I, do I really even feel my clit when I'm fucking hammered like that? So then we're down

to makeup sex, high sex, angry sex. I'm going to take out makeup sex because it's probably like more loving and passionate and it's now between high sex and angry sex oh now I guess it depends on the person because I used to have a guy that I used to hook up with we had the best high sex that was one of the first times I remember having high sex with a guy that i actually squirted because you you feel you're in like you feel everything like his dick in you you rubbing your clit it's all hypersensitive and i think high sex probably yeah high sex is probably the best but angry sex i've also had that where it's like well fuck you and then all of a sudden your head's in the fucking mattress and it's so hot um i guess it's between high sex and angry sex it depends who you're with yeah wow that was a good question

i liked that little game moment in question alex so my boyfriend and i have been together for a couple months and the sex is great but he doesn't speak during it story of every girl's fucking life it's so frustrating when men don't speak in the bedroom there's no cussing or loud moaning just heavy breathing and just like every other girl i think it's hot when a guy is loud in bed how do i get him to be more talkative dude this is the thing when i tell you that i've talked about it before one of my ex-boyfriends was a true mute through and through mute in the bedroom never shut the fuck up when we were in when we were not in the bedroom but when it came to the bedroom mouth closed gag on couldn't say a fucking word and it gets to the point where you genuinely are

like i just want to hear one thing just give me something to let me know you're up there um here is my advice to you you need to start asking him a question i remember this is how i tried to get it going with my ex it it worked for a little bit but then like i kept having to ask questions because then he would just stop ask him a question or ask him to say something okay so like look up at him and be like call me your slut like call me your fucking slut and then if he doesn't respond you're like i just asked you to call me your slut he's like nope can't even respond to that like he's blackout grab him and be aggressive whether you like grab his neck or like grab his face and make eye contact and be like call me your fucking slut and then he'll be like you're my slut and then at least he said that like at least that's the starting point get

a man to call you a slut in the bedroom point one then we progress the next time you have sex but just getting him to say like a like a full line that is a starting point or if you don't want to ask him to call you a slut because you like go to church and like you you're like i i'm not a slut alex um you could ask him the question of like do you like that literally men when you say do you like that do you like that go fuck yourselves girls though if you're riding him or something and you look at him and you're like do you like that and if he doesn't give you an answer, again, you can get aggressive and be like, make eye contact with him and lean into him and look at him and tell me you like that. And then he's going to say something unless he is literally mute.

All he's got to do for the love of God, all he's got to do is say, you're my slut. Like you're giving him the line. Or do you like that? All he's got to say i like that i mean it's pretty straightforward but i know it's hard to do but i get again posing a question that will get him going all right here's a here's a little spicy one um yeah i don't know how guys work but i'm head over heels for my ex of five years and he claims that he's the same way about me but he can't get back with me because of what other people think parentheses because I'm

crazy even though he spends months cheating on me and gave me chlamydia because he was cheating with someone who slept with 18 people and never once went to the gyno oh we love that but he also has a new girlfriend whatever makes him happy i told him as long as he's happy i don't care he's still my best friend sweetheart okay there's more but then he still fucks me two or three times a week so like why because you have a vagina and two is better than one sweetheart um i know he's he's into ass shit and she won't do it for him oh but i only do that once maybe every 10 times we fuck so that can't be why he's still fucking me oh also last three times he came in me was my ovulation week and he didn't care so like why if he has a new

girlfriend like what if we ended up prego i will 100 what the fuck i will 100 send her a little inside in the mail that says stepmom and that's how they're both gonna find out and this girl lies to him about so much and is insane like i don't know what do i do daddy dude what is happening hold on i'm like reading this this is real life um let me just break this down you have an ex-boyfriend who cheated on you and gave you chlamydia right there right then and there cheated on you gave you chlamydia hit the road jock hit the fucking road jock and never go back sweetheart if you find out that you have an std or an sti from someone you're in a fucking committed relationship with? How do you ever trust that person again? Because not only is it like, okay, it sucks you got an STD. No, that means that

that person has so little respect for you in the relationship that they went out and fucked raw on somebody else or multiple fucking people and then came back and went inside of you and gave it to you instead of double checking to be like all right i love her so much yes i'm gonna cheat okay but i'm gonna get tested before i fuck my girlfriend or i don't know use a fucking condom so that's first sorry i'm going off that's number one number two is he now has a he now has a girlfriend and you told him whatever makes you happy as long as we can stay best friends you are being a pushover he's walking all over you he's like not he tells his friends he's like not only did i cheat on her multiple times and give her chlamydia i now have a girlfriend

and she still lets me fuck like think about how it looks from that perspective so he has a girlfriend and you're asking why does he keep fucking you i like i said earlier two is better than one sweetheart why wouldn't he keep fucking you? I like I said earlier, two is better than one, sweetheart. Why wouldn't he keep fucking you? You keep opening your legs and letting him fuck. Moral of the story, daddy to daddy. I think you got to move on. I don't know. Daddy's DM me.

Let me know what you think about this one. I just think it's time to move on. I think that you could be toxic with another guy. But this little love triangle where you're like not even fully in the triangle your pussy's just in the triangle i'm going to give you the advice to get out of there and at least be the main pussy or at least the main pussy and then he can cheat on you but like at least you feel like you're the main pussy not when you're the side pussy but like he won't leave you for his new girlfriend and like you think that you're getting power by like having him come inside of you that

just means that the minute that you get pregnant he's gonna like look the other way and like run and like move across the country and you're never gonna hear from him okay okay hi dad i need your advice i've been seeing a 46 year old man i'm 27 he's separated from his wife but it's not final yet oh isn't it always it's never final they have two older children together 12 and 15 we only hang out at my apartment I've never asked to come to his house and we don't go out in public together no dinners movies etc I really do feel like he cares about me but I'm also trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here because divorce is difficult and I'm not really sure I understand what he's going through as I've never been married, nor do I have children. How do I tell him I need more from him without being insensitive to a situation?

Or am I just the biggest dumb bitch on planet Earth and need to get out? Thank you so much. Okay, I think this is a completely justifiable situation. I think that, listen, I also too don't know what it's like to be divorced and have children I can only imagine it is so extremely difficult I think because they're not fully divorced yet and he you're not going out in public with this man but you're obviously like basically dating what I would say is I would tell the guy listen I respect your situation so much but I think let's

chill for a little bit until everything is finalized because I think it's getting to a point where we're hanging out so much. There are feelings involved, but not being I want to be able to go out with someone that I'm dating like publicly, like I don't want to not be able to go to a fucking restaurant. I don't want to not be able to go to the movies and just say like this isn't working for me. You and I in our relationship amazing but with regard to all the logistics around it I think maybe to protect myself I just want to wait until your divorce is finalized and then you're okay going out in public because the thing is is you kind of got a test and see is is he really even telling

you the truth I mean and I know that's fucked up to say but a lot of people get in these situations where all of a sudden you're gonna get two years in and he's still not divorced like I know it's fucked up but when kids are involved you never fucking know what's gonna happen so protect yourself and bring this up to him in such a loving like under like I totally understand blah blah but unfortunately there are two people in this relationship and it's not working for you he's getting all the benefits so so maybe approach it in a really supportive way but also put a line on it because it's like you don't want to be in a fucking relationship what you can't go out in public you know what i mean and if his divorce is fine a lot if he is really getting divorced

and although it's not finalized you can ask him like when do you think you'd be ready dating wise to like go out in public and if he's like not for a few years and get the fuck out but if he's like no we can maybe you just have to ask him like you said you've never even asked to go to his house well maybe just ask him a lot of the times all this is about communication you haven't even asked him to go to his house maybe ask him what if he's like yeah sure come on over can you imagine all right daddy gang i love you guys so fucking much thank you for listening to this week's episode. By now, as you all rear to the end of this episode, I will be putting makeup on, putting my mask on and getting down and dirty with a man that I've never met. Hopefully this date goes well. Not sure what I'm going to wear. Um, and then I'm going to be jet

setting off to see another man. The dick is going to be inserted into my vagina. And I'll give you guys updates next fucking week. Other than that, guys, if you guys want, go check out. There's new merch on the Barstool store. Just go to Barstool.com, shop, call her daddy. There's a bunch of new stuff, phone cases, sweatsuits. I've been seeing so many Daddy Gang members. Shout out.

I see you on Instagram tagging me wearing your full tie-dye sweatpants and cropped matching hoodie. You guys look fucking fire. I see you on Instagram tagging me wearing your full tie dye sweatpants and cropped matching hoodie. You guys look fucking fire. I love you all. But other than that, daddy, mother fucking gang, you know the drill. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Bye.