Call Her Daddy - 105- Goodbye 2020

Episode Date: December 16, 2020

Goodbye 2020… Father Cooper takes on a solo episode this week and closes out the insane year of 2020 with the Daddy Gang. She talks highs and lows of her year as well as the Daddy Gang's. She also gives a quick dick riding tip to girls on how to make sure the small dick stays in and doesn't fall out, what to do when your boyfriend slut shames you for your past, training men like you train a dog, a story of a guy Alex fucked to use his rooftop pool in NYC, the issue of dating someone in college after you have graduated, what to do when you find your boyfriend saving photos on Instagram of other girls, the rules to being friends with your ex, the McRib?, fucking your physiotherapist, AND A WHOLE LOT MORE. ENJOY DADDIES. SEE YOU IN 2021!!!!!

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy daddy mother fucking gang it is your founding father for another episode of call her daddy we have drama we have so much fucking drama you're all like god forbid alex please don't tell me you're in tiktok drama again maybe okay maybe the views were cute we're not gonna lie the views were cute no guys listen there's fucking drama get out your fucking calendars do you know what month it is it's december and do you know what december means next month is january you're all like no fucking shit you're fucking idiot daddy gang 2020 is coming to a motherfucking end. And I am elated.

I am so excited. And you should be too. Because this year sucked. We can all agree. We don't agree on a lot of things. Trust me. I read the comments. I see all the things.

We don't agree. We don't all agree. It's fine. But what we can fucking agree is this year fucking sucked. Now, Daddy Gang, listen, as this episode is released, what usually a podcaster is supposed to do is this is supposed to be a best of episode. Usually podcasters are like, OK, before the holiday break, I'm going to release a best of. Now, in the past, it would be best of 2018, best of 2019. But the thing is, Daddy Gang, is what would i say and feel free

dm me let me know what would i say the best of 2020 was right exactly nothing literally nothing there is no best of 2020 people have died in 2020 yes people have died in past years but this year specifically it's like we all just got fucking unconsensually railed by 2020 we were all getting in the fucking ass and by the end of this year all of our assholes are so fucking sore it's like i can't take it anymore who knew i haven't done anal in so fucking long and yet my asshole is bleeding just kidding guys updates to come your girl sorry I'm swerving here. Alex Cooper officially re-popped her fucking anal cherry. Woohoo! Claps for Alex. It was a successful journey. That's not the point of this intro. The point of this intro is discussing the year 2020. So let's kick it right off and just fully put my ass to the burner because I

think it's great to go right for the jugular. Let's talk about the love life situation. And don't worry, I'm coming for you, Daddy Gang. But first, I'm going to roast myself. It's truly a remarkable situation that I look back and I started January 2020. Do you guys remember? You're all like, yeah, we were slim shady, the toxic, the toxic dick syndrome, the man had a penis that was so toxic, he'd put it in me and for the rest of the fucking week, I would be in so much pain from the toxicity that was running through my fucking veins. Then flash to the fucking Canadian what a whirlwind of fucking love. I'm just kidding. There was no love. That

was a relationship and every girl can relate and every guy can relate. It was a fun situation. It was a piece of ass, although a piece of dick or a dick. And it was fun and it was invigorating for a hot second. I think that's the key. It's like you have a fuck toy and then slowly it fades to the point where you're like, I wish you wouldn't speak. I wish we could fuck. And then you get to the point where like, I actually don't even want to fuck. And then you get to the point where you're like, I wish you wouldn't speak. I wish we could fuck. And then you get to the point where you're like, I actually don't even want to fuck. And then you get to the point where like, I don't even want to see you anymore. Shh, be quiet. And then I flash forward to the end half of my 2020. I mean, I think obviously a classic is door number three. I forgot that. I'm pretty sure it was this year that I told you guys for the first time,

the daddy game that like, I have in fact been in love and I think that was pretty crazy I know there was a lot of people tweeting like when I found out that Alex Cooper said that she was in love I thought the world was gonna end I kind of did too I'm not gonna lie I remember releasing that episode and being like mom I don't know if I can do this. I was nervous to tell you guys that. But then I was like, okay, well, it's a realistic thing. Like it fucking happened. So I think that person in my life has been such a supportive person. And I think obviously all of the public drama that I went through this year, it was crazy to be like, wow, like, I wonder if I'll ever find a guy that can be as supportive as door number three. And then without a doubt, the plot keeps thickening as

my year goes on. And you guys heard it live time. I sat on this podcast and I detailed a date night that truly was such a breath of fresh air. And that man I introduced to you guys as mr sexy zoo man ah there it is there it fucking is so all in all guys i think listen for the call her daddy podcast dating sex comedy my love life has been exactly what i and probably all of you predicted it to be this year it was a shit storm there were ups there were downs but aside from my love life because although that is what the theme of this show is that did seem pretty insignificant when i sat down to podcast today and i'm like okay yes do the recap you guys are involved in it you know who all these characters are but to get deeper with you guys 2020 aside from all the men and the drama and the bullshit shit that I went through with my family my friends everything I

know all of you also went through and when I'm sitting here having a reflective coming to the end of the year moment what were my highs what were my lows I think it truly made me feel the most connected with the daddy gang that I've ever felt when I was reading your highs and lows too from this year. Obviously, I got the classics of your Slim Shady version and your Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. But it was also cool to see a different layer of you guys. And you guys opened up to me and I'm so grateful for that. And you guys told me some dark fucking shit too that isn't just about dick sucking and sex the conclusion guys internally reflecting and then reading all of your shit is is that 2020 was a dark fucking year for everyone we have all been through it this year and on different scales

don't get me wrong obviously there are kids saying oh my gosh i didn't get to graduate college and then there are kids saying oh my gosh i just lost a parent to covid but i think what i'm trying to say is everyone's pain is pain this year everyone was just trying to figure their shit out and survive this year and so i think my point is just to say if you felt so alone during 2020 because of the pandemic because of anything in your fucking life maybe hopefully me addressing and telling you how many people in my dms were writing in personal shit not just about the pandemic depression anxiety eating disorders etc you're not alone and i hope that me saying this maybe it can make you feel a little bit more

whole knowing you weren't alone this whole year. Because I do know a lot of people are broken from this year. So I understand that you're not exactly looking for Alex Cooper to play Oprah. I understand that this isn't exactly my role as a podcaster. You're not waiting for me to crank out the goddamn inspo. But I just had to say it because I talk about it with my friends. I talk about it with my family and I don't want to be disingenuous and be like, Daddy gang, we're going to get right into the dick sucking segment. We're going to. But I also want to let you know that like I'm aware of everything that's happening in the world. And I think specifically hearing from you guys this week, we're in this together. So, okay. Oprah, honestly, send me over to health and wellness. This is just

getting too fucking cranked out. Everybody listen to me. We are going to ramp it up. We're going to put all the feels a little bit aside and we're going to bring happy feels in. I'm making the executive decision to not read your lows of this year. We know our lows. The lows that I have in front of me that I was going to read, they're your lows. You know the lowest point of 2020 and what it was for you. There's no reason for me to read those and to highlight them and to put them back in our faces. Trust us. Listen, 2020, we get it. You can go fuck yourself. We're ready to elinquish ourselves from everything that happened this year so i'm figuring why not focus on the motherfucking highs so daddy fucking gang are you ready to hear your highs of 2020 this is you this is your story i'm reading directly from my dms welcome here we fucking go let's get into it okay after oh guys i got so many fucking daddy

gangers after leaving my abusive ass marriage of 13 years i met a guy that gives me hope and gives me unreal orgasms i mean hello daddy gang the amount of you that are in my dm saying i don't know who knows what drove you to it but you left your toxic abusive ass significant other let's fucking go and if this is a sign if you're listening you're like fuck i didn't do that yet bitches we still got fucking time you got a couple you got a couple weeks till 2021 wrap it up let's leave these fucking assholes in the past i got promoted and moved to a bigger apartment i also started therapy for a bad breakup. I'm 20 and gay and got Eiffel Towered by a married gay couple. I mean,

Daddy King is in and around assholes, pussies, all the good things this year. Stayed sober through this pandemic by the grace of God, 15 months clean and sober. That is going to make me fucking cry. Yes, bitch yes bitch paid off my student loans my boyfriend ate what my boyfriend ate me out after a taco bell and used the diablo extra spicy hot sauce i mean daddy king it's too fucking good honestly got to experience the most enormous dick i have ever seen and been taken down by in my life. He was six, seven. So I was expecting big, but this was the definition of gigantor, both width and length. Thank God I am a total daddy. And I did not act afraid one bit. Although my mind was like,

holy fuck, rest in peace to the V after tonight. I love, well, also to like give everyone credit, people are like, this is so superficial. No I asked all of you what your again what your lows were and people were like I'm telling you it's the darkest of dark. So I'm so happy that you guys had a moment to be like hi this was my high. I got fucked by the largest dick in the game. I survived lung surgery and my recovery graduated law school passing the bar exam and being sworn in as an attorney all while wearing sweatpants me and my best friend became eskimo sisters at my birthday party over the summer within about 20 minutes in the same bed no regrets best night of our fucking lives daddy gang you

really are truly the most savage fucking podcast gang out there i mean mean, it's so fucking good. Oh my god, wait, this is kind of cute. We'll end on this one. Someone said, best high of 2020, finding your damn podcast. Daddy gang, this year is clearly one. I mean, when you say my highlight is becoming Eskimo sisters with my best friend, I mean mean you gotta look at it as a positive I love you guys so much and reading all of your positives and reading all of your highs I was trying to self-reflect because I'm like holy shit like it really is about like let's just find the fucking positives in life and I was thinking about what is my positive takeaway? What is my high of 2020? And I realized, and I wanted to share it with you guys because it is about you. Basically, reflecting on this year, it's really clear to me that the

future of Call Her Daddy and the direction of this show has actually been positively influenced by the pandemic in the sense that the show has more listeners now than it has ever had, which is amazing. And it's a blessing. The best part of that is knowing how many different types of people are listening to this show, how many people are coming and being able to join something that I hope gives you a sense of belonging. It gives me a fucking sense of belonging. This show is my life and you guys are my life. And so I just wanted to share with you that I couldn't be more grateful that you continue to listen and to all the new listeners.

Hello and welcome. Now more than ever, everyone's just looking for a sense of belonging. Everyone's just looking for a community of people that make them feel better about themselves because of how fucking dark the world is right now and i hope that this show has been nothing but light and fun and something that you look forward to every week because that is exactly what you have been for me since day one of starting this podcast the daddy gang and i know i don't share it all the time there's some shit that i've gone through this year but truly you guys have got me through you and my therapist but you guys have got me through a lot of emotional ass shit so i know that i get dms from you guys saying hey

you have helped me so much get through xyz or your podcast changed my life back at you daddy gang so with that said daddy gang it's been a hell of a fucking year good bad ugly changes the whole fucking nine but what i can promise you in 2021 is it is going to be our fucking year 2020 you have heard her go high you have heard her go low she's gone to France she's gone to the South

she's been in chalk, she's been in gossip girl, gossip girl gossip girl spend all around the world and there's been a ruckus oh there has been a ruckus shut the fuck up don't do it stop doing it we hate it shut the fuck up it's annoying you go from a seven to a three when you do it and then every single week she continues to go to France and bring the daddy gun The Dirty Gun! The Dirty Gun! Questions! Of!

Zodiacal Survivor! Questions! Of! The! Motherfucking! Like Bible! Questions! Of!

Mother! Fucking! Like Bible! Mmm! Questions of the week, bitches. And we're about to answer many daddy gang questions this fucking week. Let's get into it. Daddy motherfucking gang. The only way to close out fucking 2020 is with your questions in front of my face.

Let's fucking have a time. Sexual. Here we go. Hey, OG face. Let's fucking have a time. Sexual. Here we go. Hey, OG father. So I have a quick question. So I love riding dick, but I love doing it more so in the grinding motion and not so much the bouncing on the dick. Mostly because I get more pleasure from grinding as we all do.

But I like my partner to get a little pleasure out of it. So I like to occasionally do the bouncing thing. What a fucking great girl. She loves to do it all. Pleasure herself, pleasure her man. We love to see it. But my issue with that is it's always slipping out. I get on my feet and boom, slips out. Even when I don't get on my feet and boom slips out even when I don't get on my feet boom it slips out I notice this happens with smaller dick sizes when I ride on my feet with bigger like eight inch dicks this doesn't happen I don't get me wrong the dick is good and we have great sex but like does this have to do with his small dick or are there any tips tricks that you can give for it to not slip out every three seconds?

I'd love to know so maybe I can try it out and he doesn't have to know that it's because of a small penis. Ah, sweetie, sweetie, you've come to the right place. It is, in fact, because he has a small penis and that is okay. Okay, it's totally fine to have a small penis. We love all penises around here. Dicks are dicks and we just want to put them in us Um, listen girlfriend you've come to the right place because I actually do have a tip for this Listen in my day. I have absolutely fucked around with guys that have big dicks and also Small dicks small dicks for the win. Sometimes they can absolutely hit your g-spot if they are being worked in the right way

Um, but with regard to this here is my trick you're gonna take your thumb and your pointer finger or your middle finger whichever feels more comfortable to you and basically when you are riding him you're going to take your arm and put it behind your back and then like down your ass and like under towards your pussy, a.k.a. where his dick is going to be. OK, basically take those fingers and wrap them around his dick at like the middle to lower half of his dick. Not like at the base, because then it won't really work. But you've got to get a grip on his dick lightly. Just put them around. Okay.

It's like at the bowling alley when they put the borders up for the people that like you throw your ball and it always goes left or right. We're keeping the dick in the fucking center lane. And what you do then is when you go up and down or even when you're grinding, if you have your hands around it, stabilizing it so it doesn't move once you leave off of it. It essentially keeps it in that position so even if you go off of his dick which can be hot especially on a small dick if you can get fully off the dick and go back down slowly onto it it will make him almost feel like he's bigger because you're fully going down all the way back up as opposed to if you're not using your hands you're probably i i've done it before you're so fucking hypersensitive you're like using your hands you're probably i i've done it before

you're so fucking hypersensitive you're like oh my god oh my god don't go too high don't go too fucking high because this weenie is about to be out in the air my pussy's not going to be able to find my way back to the macaroni so i feel like if you if you go up and down and hold it in place it's as if you were fucking a dildo and you come off the dildo you go right back onto it because your hand is holding it stick shift we're stick shipping okay we're stick shipping learn how to stick shift learn how to dick shift that is like one of the best tricks i think for riding a small dick is giving a little bit of love with your fingers to stabilize the weenie and then once you're up and down you can go off it you can high. You can soar into the fucking sky and you can go

right back down onto that baby and he'll still be right there, baby carrot. And he won't leave. He won't bend over. He won't flop onto the belly. He's right there. He'll be right there. He'll be right where you fucking left him. Maybe you can't see him, but he'll be right fucking there. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He slut shames me for my past hookups any chance he can get. It really pisses me off and I express that to him. But all I get back is you did this to yourself. It makes me mad knowing you were with all of them, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I understand where he's coming from, but it has been two years and he still has a problem. He's the only guy that i've ever had a

real relationship with do i just smack him or how the fuck do i tell him to get over it and stop shaming me i know i shouldn't put up with this but whatever i am the most annoying part is he still will slut shame me and then get mad at me for not wanting to fuck later. Oh, sweetie. Dude, this is literally, I don't know why it's always so funny to me when this happens, but when people are acting as though you shouldn't have a past and it's like, why did you date anyone before me? Like I joke sometimes if I ever have a boyfriend, I'm like, how dare you ever have had a girlfriend before me? You should have known I was coming. Like, it's a joke. Like crazy girls joke about that shit. When guys or girls are like, so fucking pressed about like, I cannot believe your fucking past. Like, bro, you're not in my

past or my fucking present. If you were in my fucking past and maybe I wouldn't have been fucking those people, but you were nowhere to be fucking found. I had no loyalty to you back then. How was I supposed to know? I didn't even know you fucking existed. When people get mad about people having past them, like in what world does it matter what I did in my fucking past? Now, of course, if I fucking killed someone, if I went, whatever, but just fucking hooking up like, bro, you weren't there. I don't, it's just too good. Okay. So girlfriend, here is the advice. And I've done this before. It was more catered to a guy that I was dating was not approving of what I used to post on Instagram. And this is how I personally would handle it. Clearly, this guy isn't letting it go. And you said it's been two years. So this is past you being like, baby, like, can we have a

conversation like this really upsets me blah, blah, blah. He clearly isn't listening. So what I do is give them an ultimatum. Look him in the eyes. And the next time that he brings this up, I think that you say, okay, so break up with me. And then he's gonna be like, what are you talking about? No, you're like, I just can't believe you fucking blah, blah, blah. You're such a, okay. what are you talking about? No, you're like, I just can't believe you fucking blow all your stuff. Okay. And then you look at him and you kind of pause and be so calm and be like, so break up with me. Well, I don't, I don't understand. Are you confused? If this is such an

issue to you, break up with me and kind of be patronizing in a way. And I know it's not maybe the most mature thing, but unfortunately when you're dealing with someone that can't see how immature they're being, it's not that you're playing right back at him, but you're giving him an ultimatum because it's like, you're going to talk the fucking talk, buddy. I'm not going to keep listening to this shit. Either put your fucking big boy pants on and accept that everybody's got a fucking pass and let's move on. But if you can't accept that, I don't want to listen to your fucking bitching anymore. So literally say break up with me. And then what he's probably going to do is he's going to be like, oh, so is that what you fucking want?

Oh, so you don't even give a fuck. You don't even fucking care. You want to break up? And again, so calm. Say, I want you to break up with me if you are going to continue to act like a five-year-old boy because your girlfriend has a pass. The insecurity, and I don't mean to make you feel bad, but that's all you do to me all day. The insecurity, honestly, has become such a turnoff to me that if you can't get through this, and I'm happy to

work through it with you, but if you can't get through this, we need to break up because my pussy's not going to get wet if you keep acting like a five-year-old boy boom done he's either gonna then he's gonna have to make a decision and again i know it's kind of patronizing but like fully put him on the spot he's not gonna fucking break up with you so what he's gonna do is he's gonna shut the fuck up and if he doesn't shut the fuck up then i say you walk father first off thank you I started listening to the podcast in January this year I've it has opened my mind made me more confident and less guilt about wanting to try new things I was pretty prude before and I have never sent a nude now I feel way more confident

and have been enjoying myself anyways my question is about finding a healthy relationship that's right for me and I want to know what you and your amazing mother Cooper would do. I've been single for the past year been really immature and felt threatened by my career and success. After listening to the 100th episode with your mom, the next person I want to date needs to have their own success and be supportive of mine. Yes, bitch. But the way I've dated lately, those who look good on paper suck in bed. I was dating this guy who went to Princeton and had a good job, but he did not know how to make me come. I guess they don't teach you where the clit is in Ivy Leagues. So I ended things with him and now I'm dating a guy who is so amazing and makes me come,

but doesn't really have a career. I'm struggling with finding someone who has everything I need. Can a man have both? What would Father Cooper say? Should I keep hooking up and having fun with the guy who's good in bed and also keep dating and see what's out there? Okay, well, it seems like if you're looking for a relationship, yeah, I guess maybe ditch the guy that doesn't have the career and is good in bed because you're kind of saying like, he's not my type, but it's good sex. If you're just looking to hook up, fuck it. You don't need more than the sex. And if the sex is good, keep doing your thing. What I would say though, is I think it's a big fat game of trial and error. I have definitely erred on the side of dating athletes, athletic guys, and some are smart

and some just aren't anywhere up there upstairs. It's very dark. It's very, the lights are turned off and it's them and their penis. But what I have found is, I remember I dated this guy in New York City. He was in like the tech field. And I dated him for longer than I probably would have expected. One, because he had a rooftop pool at the time. Lauren and I really were like, we need rooftop access somewhere in New York fucking city that has a pool so we can tan. It's really hard to find places in New York.

And it's sad to say, but like you will fuck for a rooftop pool. OK, everybody in New York understands what I'm saying. It's like you can't find water in that fucking city in the summer. And forbid we go to the Hamptons no nobody could fucking afford a Hamptons house so anyways back to the man that I was fucking for his pool he was in the tech world okay and he was considered I would say a brainiac like when we would go on dates I was definitely mentally stimulated by him but almost to a point where it was like, can we like have fun for a second? Like, let's stop talking about the news every five seconds. But to give him credit, he had great dick game and he had a big fucking dick. Okay. And this guy, he was kind of like tall and skinny. It's always the skinny guys that have the huge fucking dicks, right? He was like,

kind of, I wouldn't say skinny, but like a thin dude tall thin built good looking guy big dick syndrome and was good in fucking bed now he was not my type and he was not usually the type of guy that i would go for and i was surprised when i found out that this like nerdy guy um he was good in bed so to answer your fucking question if you want to go to the rooftop pool and you want to fuck the guy that I used to fuck, hit me up. I'll give you his number because I'm pretty sure he's still single. No, listen, smart guys with careers definitely fuck. And it's same thing as dumb guys. Some guys, dumb guys that are hot can't fuck like they are just it's trial and error.

And I think what I would suggest to you is I don't think there's anything wrong with being like I want you to do this like I like it like this even when a guy is good in bed for me personally if he's eating me out and he's like hitting my clit with his tongue but then all of a sudden he like accidentally moves off it a little bit and he's at the lower end of the clit and it doesn't feel as good not that doesn't feel good but I'm like no no you were just on the spot like fuck go back up there's nothing wrong with either one like moving his head up moving your body down or being like wait baby like move up here like that felt so good like yes keep hitting that spot so what i'm trying to say is i think that it's fun to train a guy like he's your dog like don't treat him like a

human treat him like your dog like if he's not great if he's not the best in bed you can train that you can train a guy to be like oh my god like this is what i like guys want to kind of be told what to do just make sure that when you're directing him you do it more in a way like oh my god yes like do this instead of making him feel inadequate no one wants to be made to feel inadequate in bed. Okay, how awful is that? Every girl here we go. We can sympathize. How fucking awful when you are giving head and all of a sudden the guy kind of just like lifts you up off of giving head and he's like, let's fuck and you're like, Oh my god. Oh my god. He hated it. Oh my god. He hated the way I sucked dick. I have a really good girlfriend that is so funny about how she's like I give the

worst head in America hands down 100% I give the worst fucking head and at least she owns it but the stories that she has told of some guys are so much more blunt than others some guys will fight through the pain and like because I'm saying this girl's using fucking teeth um some guys will fight through the pain and then be like oh my god baby like yes like fuck i need to fuck you and then pull her up then there are other guys who will literally put their palm i will never forget she was like he put his palm on my forehead and kind of raised my head up off of the dick and was like let's just fuck it's like i was like no so like so there are times where it's like that makes you feel shitty when they're kind of like all right like enough is enough but if you do it in a collaborative like a guy's gonna be like fucking down yeah that's hot

so find a nerdy dude and fucking train him like your fucking bitch bitch okay hi father some weird shit just went down i went on my boyfriend's of two years instagram while he was sleeping to see if he's been liking his old hookups pictures she's private hence why i can't see for myself and him and i have had issues with her in the past he hasn't liked any of her photos but he had the most recent thirst trap ass pic saved. Weird. So I went to his saved folder on Instagram and oh my god thousands and I mean thousands of girls pictures saved ranging from porn stars in lingerie promoting their only fans okay fine i can deal with that we all have our thing all the way to random girls that he went to high school with selfies save pictures of girls he does and doesn't follow

random girls with only a hundred followers even some pictures of our female friends saved what and i repeat what in the actual fuck do i do do i wrap myself out for going through his phone and say something do i try and get him to show me his saved photos somehow am i overreacting or is this totally creepy and not okay as it is please please please help oh my god dude this is fucking intense okay so i'm going back into it i'm looking obviously you're in a two this is a two-year relationship i say calm out this is the thing if this is if anyone listening is kind of dealing with this like for me personally if i was just hooking up with their guy or even if we had kind of just become exclusive, you don't really have the direct right to be like, I went through your phone. I saw this.

Explain, motherfucker. You would have to go the roundabout route. The roundabout route. Alex, what's the roundabout route? Let me pretend this is me for a minute. It's a guy that I'm not, sorry, I'm not answering your question yet, but I know there's probably a lot of girls being like, fuck, he's not my boyfriend though, but I want to come out. This is what I would do. If you're kind of in an exclusive relationship, again, petty as fuck. I don't give a fuck. It works. I would probably be sitting on the couch next to the guy that I'm exclusive with. Or even if it's your recent, recent boyfriend, sometimes it's like a little too early to like go full blown. Like I went through your phone. What are you talking about? I went through your phone, like a little too psychotic. So in the pettiest way, be sitting on the couch next to your guy and start looking at a really hot guy's Instagram and don't make it super almost like kind of turn

away, but like make sure he could obviously see what you're looking at so it's not like you're like trying to show him but let him see and if he's like what are you doing be like what and he's like well what are you doing like who is that i'm like i don't know he's hot and then look at him be like am i not allowed to look and if he gets mad just be like babe i thought do you not do the same thing i don't understand why you can't be mad at me don't you do the same thing and if he's like what the fuck are you talking about no be like oh oh my god okay relax sorry i thought you oh wait you're telling me that you don't look at rando girls instagrams like you don't save their shit or anything you don't screenshot that shit you don't save it like what and if he says no be like really show me your phone and like in a joking way almost like oh prove me wrong bitch

but you have to try to do it in a way that it comes off like you didn't go through it it's almost like oh because you get caught first then you call him out it's so fucking toxic you get caught first then you call him out and then have him show you and then if he is gonna have to fucking pull up his phone and if he won't pull up his phone he's guilty be like oh so you won't show me so then you have all these girls pictures saved and he'll be like how the fuck do you know that and then you have to be like i don't know that i'm literally asking you show me your saved photos you're getting mad at me for looking at a dude you probably look at girls all the time and probably fucking whack off to their photos and then make

sure girls make fucking sure that your saved photos are like fucking fashion photos because then i'll be like well let me see yours what the fuck and then you go and it's like just like fashion photos like you're like i was just like i just came across this guy's page like i wasn't doing anything wrong but like that's really really cute to see that you have thousands of girls saved. Fuck yourself. Hi, Daddy. How do you deal with a not right now but could work in the future situation? Basically, I would probably be dating this guy, but he's a year younger than me, so he's still a senior in college. He's moving to the same city as me next year, so we decided to chill and pick things back up once we're on the same page again if it works out we went from texting every day for almost a year through

covid summer apart to taking a step back once he went back to school and now we snapchat daily and text a couple times a month recently i am finding myself so obsessed with what's going on on our college, which I hate and have a feeling he might have hooked up with his ex last weekend, not confirmed, due to myself being a psycho and stalking. Yet, since that day, he is continuing to snap me like nothing happened. I don't want him to forget about me, but also don't want to be involved with the shit going on at school and the possibility of him hooking up with an ex because it making me sad. How do I keep him interested until we live in the same city? Our relationship is complicated, but we have such a good thing.

Timing just wasn't right. Or should I let it go and disappear? Oh, sweet, sweet biscuits biscuits all right um this is another school one and i want to break this down for you because i kind of i kind of i've seen this situation a lot sadly it's like when you're not part of the school anymore whether it's high school or college it's weird to stay involved and I know that fucking sucks for anyone that's graduating and you're dating someone younger but it's the truth it's the social dynamics and it's just how it fucking works I remember when a girl in my high school my soccer team had her boyfriend and at the time in high school he was the senior she was a

sophomore like it was so fucking hot that she was dating the senior and then he graduated and then we got to our junior year of high school and like we're partying in high school like i was fully drinking in high school having fun like raging like hooking up with guys and she was like wanting to rage too and then she's got this like boyfriend in college and it was kind of like he's no longer a part of our inner dynamics and the drama and it he's no longer like the hot dude that's the senior on our high school campus he's like in college and it's like not creepy but it's kind of like he's kind of irrelevant like it was just a weird dynamic and they ended up breaking up because she broke up with him and she was kind of like i kind of want to do my own fucking thing like we're in high school like i know we're younger but like

that drama was the drama at the time and you want to be in your environment you don't want to be somewhere else you know what i mean um and he didn't really work anymore in that social setting so and when he would come to like parties like high school parties when he came back for winter break it'd be kind of like why are you here you're in college like you're an adult now like what are you doing and like we have freshmen at our parties like what the fuck is going on so i think unfortunately and it almost works again more not in your favor because it's one thing if you didn't go to the same school as him and like you're out of college now or whatever the fact that you went to the same college as him and now you graduated it's it's a weird dynamic like that the guy is still so ingrained in that social setting and you're not anymore it's different if you're you're dating someone older and they never went to your

school like when i was in college and I'm like dating a guy that's like in his 30s like it's hot because he's got money and apartments all the no you are you both went to school but you're gone from the school now so you're out of the equation you're not in the drama and unfortunately it's like you being out of it but he's still in it and so I guess my advice to you is to reflect and be like first of all who gives a shit if he is going to go hook up with his college ex she's probably going to go back to whereverville after college he's moving to your city after college so you have a guaranteed like he's about to move to your city and you will be the one or maybe a few friendly faces there so

I wouldn't say move on this is a specific So I wouldn't say move on. This is a specific situation. I wouldn't say move on. You don't have to. What I would say is slow play it. Start posting hot ass out of college snaps. You're becoming an adult. Make your life look good. Because once he gets out, and we can obviously deal with this once it happens. I mean, write in again and I hopefully will find this. He's then going to get out to that city where you are. And I know this is sad to hear, but like you'll probably be over it by then. If you start living your life in this new city out of college, he's going to start to look very young because you're going to find hot ass guys, older guys in this new city. And listen, I know that it's hard to move on from

school, especially your first year out. But once you start to really embrace that, like I'm out of college, it's weird to go back to colleges and go back to the game days and go back to the, all the things like I'm out, embrace your new life. Like you got to get a job. Now the next phase of your life is slowly growing up and like eventually getting married and like having children. Like you can't dwell on the fact that you're not in school anymore. As hard as it is, everyone loves college, but you got to grow the fuck up. So lean into it. Live up your life in your new city. Create relationships. You're older. You're capable. And then when he graduates and he comes to that city, if he fits into your picture, great. If he doesn't, great. You're starting your

new life post-college and you got to lean into it instead of dwelling on the past and stalking college shit. It's going to get you nowhere. What does that do for you? Nothing. Okay, here we go. Hey, Alex, I have come to you with not hope, not just hopelessness, but utter confusion. I love this segment so much. Here it is. My boyfriend is a great guy. He's hot, nice, funny, and bright. He works a 9-to-5 job, works in coding, all while managing classes and his social life. He's very busy, but it pays off.

Before the McRib came back, life was serene with him. But once the two-week marker hit he went berserk every day before the mick rib returned he would ask me every morning as i'm exhausted and don't want him to hear him screaming guess what's in two weeks after the first time he did this i caught on but this didn't stop him from doing it 13 more times it almost became an alarm clock and when i woke up before him i knew it was coming anyway it gets worse now the mcrib is back what the fuck is a mc hold on the mcrib oh mcdonald's let me the mRib is a barbecued flavored pork sandwich periodically sold by McDonald's. Okay. Every day. Okay. And I see at the bottom of this, my intern literally, I have an intern

finally. She wrote into me and said, I found this girl's Instagram. It's linked to a vegan Instagram. It's so bizarre. And she definitely didn't make this up. Okay. All right. So this is a true story. Okay. Sorry. Every day since it has returned, we go before his 9am work shift. Even more peculiar, when we get to the drive-thru window that unfortunately is across the street, he asks if the McRib is back as if he doesn't know the answer just so they will say the McRib is back. Now get this. Once he gets the McRib, he devours it in under a minute. He says the McRib does not need to be enjoyed but embraced. After he eats this monstrosity of a sandwich, while my vegan self has to watch in horror, he has to throw up because he eats it so fast. We like to stay at my apartment usually as his roommates are difficult. So the vomit is always in my toilet. I'm concerned for his mind,

but also his stomach lining. Sometimes when he gets up once it's purging time, he moans a bit in the bathroom. Call me crazy, but it's not the type of moan you would do in pain. It sounds similar to that of one in the bedroom. So conclusion i want to know your advice i follow this segment and i find myself self-respecting a lot of your opinions and they're very level-headed but overall let me reiterate this guy is so great so respectful so kind so smart i'm truly in a pickle and yes there are pickles on the mcrib dude what is going? I feel like I'm getting punked right now. First of all, I didn't even know what a fucking McRib was. Let's just let me set this up for you, girlfriend, because this is what it sounds like to me. First thing is first is this sounds to me other than you writing it out,

you spelled it out through your fucking literature in the way that you just wrote your McRib story. You are disgusted with your boyfriend right now and you've reached a limit in which you are ready to write a McRib thesis statement on why the McRib should be banned from the United States. I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry. I understand where you're at though. Like everybody can relate as psychotic as this McRib situation is you have been there where your partner is annoying the fucking shit out of you they can do any little thing and it would bother you so imagine you watching your partner inhale this McRib and being so obnoxious like you know what time it is baby like shut the fuck up in all seriousness if this is real um well also this would make me not want to

fuck a guy like it's gross like i'm assuming you're saying you're grossed out by that and like how are you getting turned on by this person like he's being like gross about it this is what i would do i think that first step is first you need to stop endorsing this obsession and this addiction okay so we're treating this like an addiction um you need to stop going with him why are you going to mcdonald's with him you're no longer going with him to get the mcrib because that is can you say it you're supporting it unknowingly you're like you're kind of supporting it so you need to stop supporting it so number one don't go and then I think it's reached such a crazy point that like you're writing into the caller daddy podcast like going off on a rant about McRibs like this is clearly driving you insane and I

can imagine in like quarantine with him like you're really losing it um I would tell him look him in the eyes have a sit-down conversation and say listen I understand that you love the McRib but being vegan something has turned within me and I can no longer look at the McRib and what I mean by that is like you can eat it but I need you to understand that I refuse to ever hear about the McRib again I refuse to allow you to use my toilet to vomit the post McRib. And you have to either use the McDonald's bathroom or the street or go back to your apartment. But essentially, it's me or the McRib in the sense that you can continue to eat it, but I will never hear or see the McRib again. I will never hear about it. I

don't want to fucking smell it. Go brush your teeth. Never again. It's basically like it's his dirty mistress and you're going to allow him to continue to see the dirty mistress, but you never want to hear about it. That's gross to me. And I totally understand that you're kind of, especially if you're vegan, you're like, this is like grossing out. Also, he's like charging down the street. Like, is the McRib back? Like, let's reel it in bro like what are you doing and maybe there's something else going on if he's this obsessed with this thing like maybe he needs help like if he's inhaling it to the point of he's throwing up I mean who even knows if this is real but I'm kind of thinking it's real because my intern I was like make sure

this is a real person okay cool okay this is one, I think, to anyone that has an ex-boyfriend and you think you want to be friends. Hi, daddy. I need some advice. Three years ago, my boyfriend who I dated for 10 months and I broke up. It wasn't a super bad breakup or anything, but we've spent the last two and a half months or so not talking. Snapchatting, texting, etc. Recently, he reached out and said that he wants to be friends. I'm definitely open to this idea because I don't have any hard feelings left from the breakup. However, I don't know how to go about this friendship, especially because I've heard rumors that he may have a thing with another girl. I don't want to

start any drama or get into anything weird do you think it's strange that he wants to be friends even if he may have a thing with another girl and is it even worth putting in the effort to be friends with him thanks love you this is such a good question and I just want to like walk all of us and including myself because I've had these moments walk you through what usually my mental state is when I consider becoming friends with an ex it's very different if you're like I want to fuck my motherfucking ex you know what although we say don't do it I've done it are you fucking kidding me so it's like I totally get when you're like the dick is too bomb I gotta go back same with So it's like, I totally get when you're like,

the dick is too bomb. I got to go back. Same with guys. It's like, the pussy is good. The pussy is right. I want to fuck it. I get she's an ex, but fuck off. I'm doing it. To be friends. To be friends with a motherfucking ex. Let's walk down that path, girlfriend. What's your end goal? What do you want from being friends with your ex? Do you really want to be friends with an ex? What does that even mean? Are you guys going to text? About what? Are you guys going to hang out? What are you going to do? Are you going to hang out alone? Like, what is the point? The only capacity I would ever see it in is if you are in the same friend group as your ex and you guys want to be friendly. Okay. So you're not like awkward around each other. I get it. If you're like every week we're going to the bars and it's awkward as fuck. And like,

I don't want there to be bad blood. Totally. I don't want that either. Like be friendly, friendly and friends, very different places, very be friendly. Friendly and friends? Very different places. Very different places. Friendly is like no bad blood. I'll say hi to you. Like, hey, what's up? And you guys can be cordial in a group together. Friends? Like think about that. What do you need from him? What is it? What do you what do you mean friends? If you've had sex with this personal person and been emotional with this person to digress and become friends well what's the point there's no point okay this is some steamy fucking shit okay okay daddy sit down i have a juicy story so i recently dislocated my kneecap and had to start physiotherapy. My first appointment was at 8am on Sunday. I woke up hungover. I didn't think much of it thinking some old ass do is going to

be my physiotherapist. When I show up, the most gorgeous man is standing there waiting for me. He was muscular tanned my type. So there i go with my unshaved leg for him to give me a knee massage i smell of sweat because i was nervous and fucking hung over i didn't even wash my face that morning no makeup nothing ratchet then the last time that i was going i shaved put on a full face of makeup yes bitch, bitch. Did my hair, put on perfume, etc. I went to physical therapy. I found his Instagram. Turns out he has a girlfriend and she is 26. I'm 18. Oh, recently the physiotherapy appointments have gotten hot. He brought me to a private room yesterday and would make me stand on one leg as I got off balance. He guided my hands to hold his abs for stability and he gripped my waist to stop

me from falling. He even slightly pulled it up. Then he keeps pushing me towards him to test my quote unquote balance and asks me to close my eyes. But I can feel his face being centimeters from mine. He literally I literally felt his hair on my forehead yesterday. I keep my eyes closed and he places his hands around my neck and starts caressing my face. And I'm just there with my vagina throbbing and silently barely breathing and immobile. He then grabs my hands and locks his fingers with mine as I keep balancing on one leg. He kept doing this and the sexual tension was actually crazy. Like no physiotherapist would do this.

Like he would touch me and get so close to me that the guy knew the effect he had on me. But then he would say the session ended and act like nothing happened we would flirt a little as he walked away but we never spoke about our personal lives also he's been with his girlfriend for four year now i love how you like stalked him so hard you're like also the girlfriend is 26 and they've been together for four fucking years meanwhile you're also like but like we don't we don't talk about our personal lives so how do you you know this? Full stock. I love it. My next session is after the Xmas holiday. What do I do? Do I keep enjoying this fully platonic relationship that lasts for 30 minutes appointments? Do I call him out on his flirty actions? He even asked me how old I was last time. Do I lower my hands a bit when I'm holding on to him for balance?

We don't follow each other on social media. Please low-key clueless. Thanks, daddy. Dude, this is fucking hot. Daddy, I'm like jealous. Oh my god. Fuck. We all need this man in our lives.

That's some hot fucking like christian gray shit okay let me think my first just to get this out of the way because i can't help but think this but just to protect you what we're hoping for and i don't want this to be the case but what i'm hoping is this isn't like his thing and he does this to every female patient and it like gets him off and then he goes how many fucks his girlfriend because imagine if like you're feeling these feelings but he like does this to every fucking chick that comes in and like low-key all of his fucking patients are hot he like only takes hot girls um i guess we'll never know though unless actually you could kind of like glow be a fucking psycho and show up early as fuck before one of your appointments and like see if

he's doing this with another patient you're gonna show up and it's like a 90 year old grandma no but imagine if you showed up and it was like another hot bitch and he's like fucking breathing down her neck then you'd be like okay like i'm not gonna go for it but let's pretend that's not the case okay and let's pretend that there is some attraction i would say number one keep looking hot goddamn girl if there's one fucking thing you need to look hot for it's not to go to the mall pretend that there is some attraction. I would say number one, keep looking hot. Goddamn girl, if there's one fucking thing you need to look hot for, it's not to go to the mall. It's not to go to school. You need to look so hot for physiotherapy every week, time and time again, put in the fucking work. Number two, I don't know if I would physically move in right away since you guys

haven't had too many conversations maybe if you're in the private room again you could go harder in reciprocating like when he's kind of going lower and you grab on to him like maybe each time you start to grab lower because if he's progressing and you're not really touching him maybe you start to go lower i think also maybe just the direct approach go for the dick try to take the pants off. See the reaction. Maybe he jolts back. Maybe he thrusts forward down your throat. We'll never know until you give it a go.

I'm joking. In all seriousness, I would also mixing in like baby, baby flirty banter could progress it. But only like two lines next time. Maybe like when he's super close to you smile and bite your lip with your eyes closed and then be like do you always get this close to your patients or legit you could be like do you have a girlfriend in like a super flirty way and if he's like like yeah be like oh i'm sure she's great and then like be kind of flirty like that so he's like what the fuck

i think sometimes guys like that when you like know there's a girlfriend and but you're still like oh and you still look flirty he's like oh fuck you wanna fuck i think those two lines that's it you just try one of those maybe next time and see how it goes i wish we could fucking have follow-ups with these questions. DM me and let me know after Christmas like how the fuck this goes or write back in and I'll try to have someone go and scroll and find it. Wow, daddy. I love it. I still can't get over the McRib. I really, I really truly want to know more about the situation. I want to know if anyone listening has ever had a McRib. I truly have never heard of a McRib in my entire life. Regardless, Daddy Gang, that is it for this week's episode, folks.

All right. It has been a wild 2020. Really still don't even know how to sum up 2020. All I fucking know is I am so excited for this next chapter. The next chapter as in 2021 and the next chapter of Call Her Daddy and the next chapter also of me moving across the country with my best friend. I'm going to give you guys a quick update. It is very, very exciting. Lauren and I officially signed on a fucking house in LA. I signed the paperwork last week and we will be moving across the country come New Year's. Lauren and I are moving into the house. We're going to vlog it. We're going to show you guys where we're living, all the things. It's going to be so fucking exciting. I'm so excited to just get out there, get new content, meet new people, date new people. It's going to be a fucking wild

ride. And like I said, I am so excited for you guys to come along with me. Call her daddy in 2021. There are so many things that I have planned. I'm so excited to elevate the show, bring new things to the show. And I will be showing you all of that. i see you fuckers sadly not wednesday but after the holiday break i will see you fuckers in january of 2021