Call Her Daddy - 106- New Year, Old Me (ft. Toxicity)

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

Father Cooper returns in 2021, exploiting a psychotic toxic event that recently took place between her and the infamous Mr. Sexy Zoom Man. This drama filled story fully exposes Alex for attempting a manipulation tactic gone wrong. She fucked up her own scheme and now has to pay the price. WHO IS READY FOR TOXIC ALEX TO BE BACK?… her therapist is guaranteed to be getting ghosted this week. ENJOY DADDIES.

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy holy fucking shit is this thing on what the fuck is up daddy episode of 2021 officially a full fucking year of a single father era fuck yes bitches how the fuck are you doing i miss miss you guys. Daddy gang. It's been a hot fucking minute. I'm not going to lie. I'm excited, but I am a little fucking nervous because I have a question that I want to ask all of you. And I'm already feeling judged and I already know what you guys are going But here we go. Raise your hand if you started 2021 toxic. OK, because over here I am raising both of my hands. My toes are curled. I'm crossing them behind my back because although I won't admit it to my therapist, I will admit it to you, Donnie gang. I got right on it. I got right on the toxic dick and I got right on my fucking toxic moves

and don't you worry I'm very aware I was so close I was heading for Oprah status that last episode of 2020 everyone was like Alex we are putting you in the ballots are in health and wellness no longer comedy no longer toxic call her daddy is officially rebranded. And then what I did is single-handedly putting me all the way back to original Call Her Daddy days. Now listen, I want you guys to all really remember sometimes in life, people make mistakes. People really just swerve off the beaten road. And sometimes you do things that you didn't even know you're capable of. You do something that makes you fully have to realize, yes, I spent a shit ton of money on therapy, but baby girl, it's clearly not fucking working.

Hello, my name is Alex Cooper and I have a problem. And my problem is being so addicted to the toxic lifestyle that the minute that I sniff an ounce of health, I am disgusted. I am repulsed. I have acid reflex to healthy things. As we go on, we remember. I'm sorry, everyone everyone everyone that's more mature and you're like god damn it alex i get it i get it it fucking sucks shut the fuck up you think i don't know

i feel like shit so here you go the regression moment that i'm referring to, the moment the old Alex was resurrected, all comes down to one single thing. A nightstand. A nightstand. Not a one nightstand, you fucking whores. I'm saying a nightstand like a wooden two drawer thing that is next to your bed. Or in this case case a man's bed motherfucking daddy gang are we back baby we're fucking back baby sit back relax and enjoy the fucking show this week baby we got a nice story time for you. Insert Mr. Sexy fucking Zoom Man. Five months ago,

I laid in Mr. Sexy Zoom Man's bed. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the first time that we fucked. I was laying there and in the morning, he made the decision to go downstairs to the gym and work out. Now, already I knew this man has no fucking idea who the fuck is in his bed. Leaving Alex Cooper alone in your bed or leaving a daddy gang member, let alone in your bed unattended for an extended period of time. Bold ass move, buddy. I'm telling you. I mean, big kahunas on this one, guys, because what the fuck do you think we're going to do, buddy? Exactly what you think I'm going to do, guys. He goes downstairs, guys, and he goes into his gym. He's working out. I hear the music blasting. I hear he's on the treadmill. It's go time. And like any bitch would, I go directly for his nightstand. Jackpot. And there before my, my innocent eyes, I didn't ask for this. He left

me in the room alone, is a picture frame face down. You gotta love it. what do you guys think it was what do you think it was a picture of it's a shrine of me no daddy gang face up the picture frame and there low and behold is a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend it It's like, okay, you're literally not dating. It's not. I know. At the time I smiled. This is fun. This is drama. This is what Alex Cooper fucking signed up for. What girl wants to be with a dude that doesn't have any crazy exes, hot exes, or doesn't have any shit. And imagine if I opened that drawer and it was literally a pen. Like how boring. You want the juicy drama, especially in the beginning when you have no stakes involved,

at least emotional stakes. And again, it was the early stages, so I didn't know shit about this guy. So it was kind of fun to be seeing all this shit. So then I keep perusing around. Of course, it doesn't stop there. And I find a stack of cards, holiday cards, birthday cards, etc etc clearly all from the same girl

and the fingers start twitching and for about 0.2 seconds I debate should I open the cards or should I just let him have his privacy and just be the good girl that my therapist prays and hopes to god one day I'll become naturally as you can tell this story is going south I read every fucking letter and i'm not proud of it listen i am not proud of it but at least at least i can own that because i do think there are a lot of fucking people in this world that would never admit like i would never go through someone's medicine cabinet shut the fuck up you absolutely do and at least i can admit it look yourself in the fucking mirror okay at least i know i'm a monster. So I read everything.

I see everything. And then I just put it back in the drawer. Naturally, usually what I would do, I would usually take a picture of every single one of the cards in the picture, etc. Just in case I needed it as evidence later on in our relationship. But again, I had just met this man. I thought it would be the mature thing to give him his privacy and to not take photographic evidence of his past relations with his girlfriends. It's truly just, it's unbelievable. They keep coming back. You got to love it.

So that was five months ago, daddy gang. Five months ago, I opened the drawer and now fast forward five months later here we are new year's eve bitches we get back from London I am in his bed it is the morning and he goes to get me coffee and breakfast to bring back to me to eat in bed the perfect man doesn't exist Mr. Sexy Zuman, you're pretty fucking amazing. And I am over here and I am I am troubled. I am truly troubled because what I do is I lay there the minute he leaves immediately, immediately my eyes open like fucking Darth Vader. And I'm like, my head creaks to the right.

I make eye contact with the beloved. And I wonder, are the items five months later, after all the things he has said to me, baby, you're blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Are they still in the fucking nightstand, you piece of shit? Granted, I've been like, yeah, I want to see other people. I'm like, let's fucking see. Let's fucking see. It's go time, bitch. Show me your fucking cards. But this time is different, daddy gang. Back in the day, I told you five months ago, I didn't give

a fuck about this dude. I had no emotional stakes in this. I didn't give a fuck about him. I had no morals. But then as time went on five months, I got to know Mr. Sexy Zoo Man even more. And he's even more perfect than I could have dreamed. And Sexy Zoo Man even more and he's even more perfect than I could have dreamed and he gets me breakfast in bed and he buys me things and he takes me on trips and he likes me and he's emotionally intelligent and he's not a fucking idiot so I'm there and this time it doesn't take me 0.2 seconds to decide whether to throw that drawer open and get down and dirty with it I actually and this is gonna is going to be a shock. I actually, in that moment, am overburdened with this little thing that maybe none of you think Alex Cooper has,

my conscience and my conscience, my conscience, my conscience is like, big Al, listen to me. We don't need this. He's amazing. He's going to get you breakfast in bed. Like we're in this bitch. Like just be happy that you're like fucking a good dick, not a dirty dick, not a toxic dick. Like this one's a good one. So I'm not going to lie. Did I, did I take more time to come to the conclusion that I was going to go through

the fucking nightstand? You guys already know where I'm going with this. Everyone's like, Alex, stop pretending like you weren't going to go through it. nightstand you guys already know where i'm going with this everyone's like alex stop pretending like you weren't gonna go through it i absolutely went through it but i want to first put it on the fucking record that i did in fact for a few moments consider no i didn't consider not going in it was more like this is fucked up how do i how do i justify this and then i realized rage blackout get the fuck over there see what's up fling back on the bed and then fuck his brains out later and then it will make up for it so i head on over to the goddamn nightstand i do a little creepy crawly i take my time i really stroke across those

egyptian cotton sheets i don't even know if they're egyptian cotton and my hand quivers no it doesn't it goes right bullet in open the drawer drawer. And guess what, Daddy Gang? What do you think? Did Mr. Sexy Zoo Man eject his past? Or were the items still there? All right. So what did you guys decide? Did he leave it all there?

Or is it gone? Vanished. He put an engagement ring in there. Well, I will tell you, Daddy Gang. I opened the nightstand. And lo and behold, I see that everything is still there. Just as I left it five months ago. Daddy Gang, take your notebooks out.

Let's go. You have to understand to understand daddy gang let me paint this for you the minute i saw this drawer i smiled again just like i did five months ago but the smile had a complete different meaning behind it it was more sinister. It was darker. Because now, this filled nightstand had a completely different use for me. It meant nothing back then. It was a goldmine now. Do you guys get what I'm saying? Five months later, now, where my relationship is with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, the game has changed, folks.

Because now this drawer is ammunition. This drawer can be used for manipulation so it's okay if you're a little lost here don't worry we're gonna really break it down because this could be used in your own life here's the situation okay a normal human being that thinks logically normal and not a little off the beaten path, a little fucked up, a little manipulative, unhealthy would be like, wow, this is so upsetting. You know, I felt like we were on track and like, I just want to talk to him about this. And the minute he gets home with your breakfast burrito, you would say, Hey, I know this is super unhealthy. Well, actually no, the girl

wouldn't have even opened the drawer, but say you opened the drawer accidentally. You would say, Hey, I'm really sorry, but I want to talk to you about this i saw this and then you're saying all these things to me can we have a conversation about it that's number one option number two option is a girl that's going to internalize it and never use it and fall back onto the bed and cry herself back to sleep and just never confront him and then there's option three and that's us, Daddy Gang. And what we see when we open this drawer is opportunity. And more specifically, this is substantial evidence that you save for a time when there is a fight. Why would you ever play your hand when there's no war? You put that shit in your arsenal and you hold it close to your fucking chest

until that man, one, brings more emotional shit up and then you throw that in his face. Or two, starts a fight and you use it as ammunition. Bitches, we do not fucking play around here on call her fucking daddy you never give up your fucking hand if you don't have to you save shit you fucking backlog it and then you bombard him and you fucking catapult the shit out his face when he least fucking expects it is this what they call gaslighting and it's like the number one fucking unhealthy thing to do in a relationship yes but I don't I don't I don't have anything to say to that but what I do have to say is let's

keep it moving and let me tell you how and here you're not gonna expect this one how I severely fucked this entire plan and this execution up Alex Alex Cooper, how did you fuck up? You're preaching over there. You're telling us we've got to follow your actions and you're about to tell us that you fucked up. Yes, bitches, listen the fuck up. It's so sad because I had all the right steps up until my dumb ass forgot the most important part of the entire plan that goes along with telling this fucking man, hey, I went through your fucking nightstand. And Daddy Gang, pay attention to this because it seems small, but it's so fucking critical and you can use it. If you find something on your boyfriend, if you find something on your girlfriend and you're snooping,

you can use this. But again, don't forget to do it like I did because it will fuck you in the ass. Here you go. In my mind, I know without a doubt whenever I bring this up to Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, there is one important thing that I have to remember to do and it is to place a lie in front of me explaining to him what I saw okay what I mean by that is I have to say well I was looking for chapstick or well I was looking for a charger and then I came across xyz that basically takes all the blame off of me like I was looking for a fucking charger and I came across this like what do you want me to do even though if he knows he's dating a psycho and he'd be like no no no bitch like he can't fully prove it and then you'd be like i'm sorry i'm not i'm

not allowed to open a fucking drawer in your house like what the fuck it sounds so fucking small but it literally changes the entire dynamic and the entire motive behind your confrontation it's innocent and it's accidental and it's not planned and it's not calculated and you're the victim as opposed to being the aggressor taking advantage of alone time and opening the fucking drawer to find all the evidence and storing it and waiting and holding it for a perfect opportunity like i exactly did here is what fucking happened oh fuck me cue new year's eve alex the stupid bitch comes to life a cocktail in one hand a cock in another no i'm just kidding i'm sitting in the hot tub with mr sexy zoo man i'm feeling hot i'm feeling good i'm fucking hammered which

was the epitome of my downfall this night and probably why I forgot to add in the fucking lie but so we're sitting in the hot tub and Mr. Sexy Zoo Man starts doing all the Mr. Sexy Zoo Man things he's looking all hot and he's looking steamy and he's saying all the right things and he's making comments and he's making plans I sound like fucking Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy he's making plans okay and I'm looking at him and any normal healthy girl would be like, that is just so fucking cute. And look at what a romantic New Year's Eve. And instead, Alex Cooper, the fucking terrorist Tasmanian devil is staring at this man. And all I hear is, it's time to ramp it the fuck up. Let's start a fight. Daddy King, don't even come for me

when you tell me that you love to spice it up. It's fun to fight, okay? Sometimes when things are going too well, you need to just put a little wrinkle in the plan, do a little ripple effect, and see if the two of you can weather the storm together. Break them down to build them back up. I'm sure that's not how he feels at all he's like i'm really happy like i don't like drama i'm like drama rip it up so the night sadly takes a turn and i reach the point

of no return and what that means is one i am blackout and two more importantly i know without a doubt i am going to drop this bomb on this poor man tonight It's like why and I know why and here's why because he was saying so many nice things I had to address it. I had to be like, well if that's how you feel then why is that? Why is that night stand over there? So here is the big fucking moment where I fuck my life up We go upstairs to the bedroom and I forget exactly what he said but he said something along the lines of like I want want this to also be your space. Like I want you to feel comfortable, blah, blah, blah. Something like super mushy, great love. And I look this man

dead in the eyes again, completely forgetting to preface it how I wanted to preface it. And I just go right in and I say, right, well, it doesn't appear that way. And Mr. Sexy Zoo Man stares at me. Such a straight shooter. He's like, what? What are you talking about, Alex? And I'm like, your nightstand doesn't make it appear that way. his reaction daddy gang sent me into let me just i'll just here it speaks for itself he stares at me blinks and he goes you went through my things now in that moment i'm a little defensive still i don't really know where it's going. And I

go, yeah, you dumb bitch. Yeah. What's mine is yours, right baby? And he gets so stone cold and he gets this disgusted look over his face. Like his face, you know when they get so mad, like, I don't even know him anymore. We've never hugged. We've never fucked. I don't even know it. Like nothing. He's gone. He looks at silence. And he doesn't move a muscle. I slowly started to look around the room and make eye contact with the bedpost and envisioned myself being happier back flipping and smashing my fucking skull onto the bedpost as opposed to sitting in the silence as this man looks at me so disgusted with my behavior i am officially called the fuck out. I am losing. I am not enjoying this fight. This fight was for me. I'm losing. I feel helpless. I feel exposed. I am uncomfortable.

God, God, God bless me. I really, it, all I had to do was say I was looking for a fucking chopstick and there I was and I forgot it right before my eyes my own game plan I let it right go right out the fucking window and I think in this moment I was so mad at myself for how fucking sloppy I got because I have done this before to men I have had such success with the nightstand ambush it's a classic go-to I've talked about it on this fucking show before. I've done it to Slim Shady and I've caught his ass and he's been like, baby, I don't know.

Like, that's so crazy. Like, I don't even know where that came from. Like, I'm sorry. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have done this to door number three and he didn't even know what he found. But he's like, I love you. I love you. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. And leave it up to Mr. Fucking sexy zoo, man. It makes him even fucking hotter then he is no bullshit disgusted with my fucking antics like that is fully fucking weird and I'm like really creeped out I laugh but I fully cry I laugh but I cry so in that moment and I'm gonna be fully vulnerable and honest here like daddy gang I was so fucking embarrassed I I honestly can count I feel like the number of times like you you feel embarrassed from men a few times in your life like this was one of the most

embarrassing moments of my life in front of a man like I just fully acted like a fucking child granted that I you know added a couple little. Granted that I, you know, added a couple little saucy things that I'd planned on doing. It wouldn't have been fucking as embarrassing and it probably would have slid through like I'd planned, but I fully fucked up. Don't do it when you're fucking drunk, you idiot. But don't you also think for a second, second I didn't fully fucking rebound bitches so sorry it's so fucked it's so dark okay so I sit there and I'm embarrassed and I quickly in my drunken state I'm trying I'm inebriated so I'm like fuck like Alex get your fucking brain going like what do we do what do we do game plan game plan and in that moment I'm like if he's being so honest why don't I lean into how I'm feeling I'm feeling so embarrassed let's lean in so what I do

is I continue to be a little bit manipulative but I almost do it in a more authentic way okay I start to be like play full pity party I remember I said it with Hannah Burner on one of my podcasts. She said it. She was like, the best thing that you can do if you're in a pinch with the man, fucking cry. And this man has never seen me cry in his fucking life. So I knew like, here we go. Gear up the fucking tears.

And I become the cutest, saddest girl in front of this man. I'm like, I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how this man I'm like I am so sorry I can't even imagine how you feel right now I am so embarrassed like I think I should go I'm gonna get a hotel tonight and like I I have no words I'm so sorry the drama I start standing up he's like what are you doing I'm like no I'm just gonna go I I can't even imagine what you're dealing with I'm like, no, I'm just going to go. I can't even imagine what you're dealing with. I'm going to get my stuff. He like grabs me. He's like, Alex, what the fuck are you doing? And I'm like fully putting on the performance of a lifetime.

I'm like Broadway fucking Hamilton. Sign me the fuck up. Oh God, it's so dark. And so finally I fully lean in. I grabbed the suitcase. I'm staring at him, tears in my eyes. And I say, I'm going to go. He's staring at me like blinking, like he's like, okay, Alex, hold on.

He says, I'm sorry if I made you. There it is. There it is. He fucking apologized. I was like, done. Boom. Good night. Actually, I'm going to stay tonight. I'm actually going to was like, done. Boom. Good night. Actually, I'm going to

stay tonight. I'm actually going to curl up in a little ball. Good night. Can you get me a water and some Tumsway belly? I got it. That's all I needed. He was like, but I, I, you guys wouldn't see what I'm saying. I, I worked it enough that he was like, I'm sorry. Like I didn't mean to make you feel like I was like mad at you. It's worse. I was like genuinely I'm sorry, like, I didn't mean to make you feel like I was, like, mad at you, it's worse, I was, like, genuinely concerned, like, that's weird that you did that, the minute he said the words, I'm sorry, I was a new woman, I couldn't hear what he was saying, I got under the comfy cozy covers, and I was good, all was good, because that's all I needed, I somehow turned it around, not on him fully. But I was back. Bitches, I was back.

I wasn't embarrassed. I leveled it out a little bit. I had been in a situation. I was in the gutter. I was in the ditch. I was a rabid rat. I was a rabid rat with rabies running around, grasping for anything. Things were low.

And all we needed to do, we didn't have to get high. We just had to get a little more back to even and that's what I did a little manipulation goes a long fucking way and I will give the man a kudos because not many can handle this type of psychosis he did bring it up the next day and kind of grilled me which was totally fine I actually respected him more for not letting me fully get away with it. But I do think at the end of the day, when I'm sitting here and I'm self-reflecting, because I'll never talk about this with my therapist, obviously, she won't get a whiff of this one. I definitely was fully a little embarrassed of the way that I handled myself. But that is also just a result of me

being not on my game and not using a charger or a chapstick lie in front of the situation. Because had I done that, moral of the story is everything would have been a-okay and he would have been the one first apologizing not second now daddy gang just to quickly fill you on on the conclusion of the entire story the man is truly you know it's as if my mother would die if I ended up with the man like this mr sexy zoom man the next day after we had after we had finished the conversation, we decided we were going to close that chapter. I go downstairs to the kitchen and he is fully throwing out everything. And I'm like standing there. I'm like, what are you doing? Oh, God. Oh, God. I've sent him into a spiral. And he just looks up at me and goes, I'm just getting rid of

it. It doesn't mean anything anymore i just had put it in there because logistically i just no idea where do you put that shit i just threw it in there but it means nothing and i want you to know like it doesn't mean anything so i watch as mr sexy zoom man ejects his entire past into the trash and in that moment daddy gang and this is where i'm gonna log right into therapy after i upload this episode in that moment daddy gang i immediately regretted it and the committal issue began and i wanted him to take it out of the trash and put it back in the fucking box because i was like jesus christ now this is too much fucking pressure so you know you know, you can never win. You want a little

bit of like, oh, well, like, don't say anything to me if she's over there. And then he throws it out and like, wait, put her back, put her back. So it was definitely a little bit of a moment where I truly had an internal battle of like, I don't know what I was doing, but now I'm here and everything is gone and I'm still single. And I definitely suggest doing exactly what I did, but just add those little details. All right, all right, all right. Daddy King, are you feeling inspired? Are you ready to troll through every single fucking man's nightstand?

I don't give a fuck who it is. Your husband, get in there. Your boyfriend, get in there. Your hinge date, get the fuck in there, bitches. We go to the extreme because you know what again like i said fighting makes us closer so daddy gang i just gave you a little nice moment to really understand where i'm at is alex cooper the toxic bitch is she back is she fucking back well this is what I will say.

As I am recording this episode right now, I am sitting in my new home in Los Angeles, California. One of the biggest questions that I am getting from people in my DMs is, hey, Alex, did you move to Los Angeles for Mr. Zig Zee's man? Bitches! Do you fucking know who I am? No, I did not move to California for a fucking dick. However, was it nice to know that I would have a nice thick dick lined right up? Abso-fucking-lutely. But here's the deal. Here's the true rundown. I'll give it to you quick and I'll give it to you dirty, daddy gang. Lauren and I just moved out here and I'll give it to you dirty daddy gang. Lauren and I just moved out here and we don't know a fucking soul. Obviously, we know like acquaintances, but we don't have any like good friends out here, family out here. We're on our

fucking own and it's an adventure. Survival of the motherfucking fittest. But what I can tell you is there is one thing we are not lacking. And that is an opportunity to sit on some fucking dicks. We haven't hooked up with the men of Los Angeles, California, but oh, we are here. It was kind of just sorry. Okay, I'm calming. It was kind of so beautiful because the other day I posted on my Instagram story of basically Lauren just got onto the first ever dating app she's ever had. She's never been on a fucking dating app before. The girl's been living under a rock, seven year relationship, gone out the window and she's like ready to get dick. And so we're signing her up on her dating apps or getting all excited and she goes on a date and it was beautiful. I dropped her off.

I creeped around. I followed them on their date. It was beautiful. I dropped her off. I creeped around. I followed them on their date. It was beautiful. I'm like literally her mom. I'm so creepy. But this is what I realized as I followed Lauren around as she walked around with a new man. Okay, big Al misses the fucking game. Listen, my roster has gotten very small I haven't been fucking around on dating apps I've kept a close little knit circle we love the consistent dick but you know what I also love I love the new dick and when I saw Lauren I cannot explain to you Daddy Gang this secondhand adrenaline I felt as Lauren's like texting these dudes and I'm like semi helping her I was back I was like I'm fucking back bitches and I swear I feel like quarantine makes you ebb and flow one

minute you want to only have like two three guys the next you're like fill me up fill my fucking tank up and so as I watched Lauren I felt like a sideline player and I'm not a sideline kind of bitch baby I want to be in the fucking game I'm like coach put me player and I'm not a sideline kind of bitch, baby. I want to be in the fucking game. I'm like, coach, put me the fuck back in. And thankfully I am the fucking coach. So I'm putting myself the fuck back in. And all I can say is to the men of Los Angeles, this is an ode to you. This is a warning sign, a signal. Hello, it islex and lauren we live in a home we have a pool we have a yard and i promise you the minute we get our backyard furniture set the fuck up you're all like what i know it's a whole situation you can't go back once you go back you have to sit on the pavement because

they're so hard to sit but i promise you the minute we get that daybed imported into our backyard, Tulum, who? Miami, who? Alex and Lauren's backyard bangers. Holy shit. Okay, I'm sorry. You guys understand where I'm going with that. It's going to be a nice time. Okay, Daddy Gang, I love you.

It's going to be a fucking hell of a year. 2021, what is in store? I can't wait to see. But more importantly, let's get on to a little thing that i know i know you all have your dirty ass wet dreams about it is without a doubt your favorite segment drum roll please do it wherever you are give Give me a little tap tap. Chuck, I'm nervous. Serena, why? Why are you nervous? Because I'm afraid they're going to judge me. Dan, Dorota, get over here. I'm telling Chuck that I'm nervous. Miss Serena, Miss Serena, why are you nervous because silence suffers

give me moral support no serena you can do this but what if i can't chalk dan dorota serena rufus To all the silent sufferers that have missed me, it is 2021. And I am back. I am the Terminator. Let's go to a little place I like to smoke and call friends. Let me do one little thing that I like to do. Questions of the week, baby. Questions of the motherfucking week, baby.

Questions of the week. We're fucking back, bitches. Questions of the week. How the fuck are you guys doing? It's going to ebb and flow. Some days I'll cater to the silence and some days I'll cater to the people that just fucking like me for who I am.

An annoying ass son of a fucking bitch. And guess what? Suck my clit. You listen to my fucking show, you gotta listen to when I fucking rock out with my cock out for a little thing that I like to jack myself off to for questions of the week okay guys I just stood up to do that once I just need a second to sit back down okay I'm down we're down let's just get fucking into it because there's so many questions. Happy New Year, Daddy Gang.

Let's get right into it. First questions first. Is my boyfriend a fucking dick? Probably, sweetheart. Let's read. We have been dating for over a year. Mostly, things are great, but he occasionally does things that make me uncomfortable. I don't think he's ever physically cheated on me and I don't think

that he would. Here's a few examples. Randomly, he re-followed his ex on Instagram over the summer. She lives in a different city and liked all of her pictures for a few months. When I found out, we had a huge fight. He unfollowed her and I moved on. I recently realized he still follows her friends and he only likes pictures that the ex is tagged in. Anyway, the main topic of the story. He asked me if I would be mad at him for going to Florida for New Year's Eve to visit his cousin. I was not invited. We didn't have any plans besides just chilling due to COVID and I didn't want to be that bitchy controlling girlfriend. So I said I was like a little bummed, but I wouldn't be mad and supported him going. New Year's Eve night, his cousin posts several

Instagram stories of a big group of 12 girls and seven guys in a party bus and club. The girls are all dolled up and dressed like sluts. I will note that my boyfriend was on the complete opposite end of the bus between two guys and not near the sluts. Meanwhile, I'm alone in a different city. Again, I don't think he had any intention of hooking up with these girls, but the matter in which he left me behind to go to a party with a different group of hoes did not sit well with me. We got in a huge fight and talked on the phone until 5 a.m. New Year's night. I think he has ego issues and I feel like he had just,

I feel like he had to go fulfill it by flexing on Instagram instead of caring about my feelings. Dump him? Dump him. Daddy King, this is the thing. As I'm reading that, I almost feel bad because I'm like, girlfriend, you just sat home on New Year's Eve while your boyfriend went to Florida. And it's not as much about him going to, well, it is about him going to Florida, but it's more so just like how sad that your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you on New Year's Eve. Like if

I was dating a guy and he's like, listen, babe go I gotta jet enjoy being alone on New Year's Eve I'd be like enjoy being alone for the rest of your fucking life and you will never see me again again I get it New Year's Eve is so hyped up and everyone wants to have plans I think it'd be one thing if you plans with your girlfriend you didn't have plans you're literally by yourself couch potato watching his his cousin's instagram stories that is miserable i think that you can say if he has insecurities or ego issues whatever it is all i'm taking from this is he makes you feel like shit re-following his ex liking certain pictures these are calculated decisions he got on a plane to go to florida to see his cousin and party with a bunch of bitches well if he's not cheating on you and he's not getting to fuck one of them at the end

of the night then why is he not just staying with you and fucking you and hanging with you what's the point of going and partying with girls when he has a girlfriend i would personally say dump him only because there's been so many instances but other than that my advice to you would be don't sit home obviously i know it's covid but if you do know some like another friend that was quarantining don't let your fucking self waste your life away by watching your fuck every anyone listening it doesn't even have to be a boyfriend a friend an ex-friend an ex-lover an ex-fuck whoever let this be a sign if you find yourself sitting home and watching creeping on someone's instagram whether it's from your real account or your fake account more than you're enjoying your

actual time in your life and you're actually like fully spending your time focused on their life you need to get a grip and you're doing something wrong and you need to reevaluate and you need to fucking stop and you need to start living your fucking life why are you sitting around bitching about someone else go have fucking fun for yourself boom so i was talking to a guy i matched on bumble with and we started talking about meeting up and stuff and eventually it led to us sexting we moved things over to snapchat my first mistake and he asked me for pics i ended up sending him a few pictures and videos from my stock and then he said he would send his after I sent mine. I usually have a rule to not send pictures to a guy until we've met or hooked up in person, but he seemed trustworthy so

I let it slide. But wow, I have never seen this one before,dies all of a sudden I go back to Bumble and our conversation is gone aka he unmatched me and then he stopped responding on Snapchat and it said I couldn't add him as a friend because I couldn't find him aka he blocked me on there as well I did a bit of digging I found his Instagram and I told him off to which he read those messages and then blocked me on there as well i mean i know there's nothing i can really do at this point but i just am a bit nervous that some rando has my nudes and what he could do with them i don't know if he screenshotted or screen recorded them what the heck has anyone else had an experience like this before well first and foremost I just want to say I'm sorry that fucking sucks and I'm sure you feel a little scarred from that situation because it is a

big fucking mind fuck what I can say to you though is sadly I think this is extremely common I think a lot of people get fucked over for nudes you don't even they they make a fake account or they're real and they're just fucking around and they just know they're never going to run into you they're never you're never going to find them and so they fuck with you to put your mind at ease a little bit i would go as far to say i think you're okay with regard to like i think the dude just probably took your nudes and just wanted to get free nudes and he's like now jerking off them in his fucking little parents bed um so you don't have it's not like he's like now jerking off them in his fucking little parents

bed um so you don't have it's not like he's gonna go and like upload them somewhere but but what i will say is daddy gang the first you're right you said it the first mistake was going on snapchat and sending the nudes listen i'm no better than you i've done this shit before but it is just a matter of like what's the what is the point of pleasing them before they please you you know what i mean like did he send you his dick no so my rule of thumb is like i always make the guy be more vulnerable before i become vulnerable why are you putting yourself out there you have the keys to the fucking kingdom and it's called your fucking pussy bitch so you should never go first in sending a nude ever make a man fucking send you a dick pic as i've gotten older that's what i do when they're like oh send me a picture i'm like yeah no go ahead send me a picture like guys are so weird about it and they're like what oh but my dick

like some dudes won't do it it's like well wait well jeremy then why would i send you my pussy if you won't send me your dick are you over that what what am i missing here jeremy oh you just want to use me and i don't get any of it again maybe girls don't care for dick pics as much doesn't fucking matter make the bitch put out make him fucking come to you first ladies make the man always send you shit first even if it's a fucking selfie or one with his fucking shirt off I don't care because once a man does that and I am telling you once a man sends you something he gets insecure that you have it and it will be on his mind and he will not fuck you over one of my exes recently did that as we had reconnected he sent me a video of himself jerking

off and immediately regretted it when we got in a fight and he was like delete it delete it delete it and i was like what what do you think i'm gonna do with this like upload it onto the fucking internet but the point was in a strange way not that you're holding people's nudes over but he had kept asking me for shit and i'm like hold on we just reconnected obviously you've seen me fucking naked before but like why don't you send me something and so he was desperate as fuck and he sent me that because he's like i need the nudes and then he regretted it so in a strange way girls i think get a guy to make the first move not just in sexual terms but online send me your fucking dick bitch and then maybe you'll get a

fucking glance of my areola. Please keep this anonymous. Father, I hope I'm not the only one asking this question, but it makes me feel a little weird and I'm not sure what to do about it. My boyfriend, officially, of three months, never offers to pay for me. Because of the virus, we are rarely going out. But on the occasional night when we pick up food or try to do something fun, he always only pays for himself or asks me to split it with him. This is now the second guy that I have been with that has done this to me. And I'm not trying to sound spoiled.

Sweetheart, you don't sound spoiled. But it would be really nice to have a date night every so often that we are not splitting. Here and there, I will buy him little things to show I care literally just a piece of candy or surprise him with lunch but it's never reciprocated I am an independent woman and I do not mind paying for myself but I feel like this needs some attention being been listening to the podcast since the beginning love it keep it up and please send some help oh my god daddy wow wow okay I remember Lauren dealt with this and it's such a situation like it's awkward as fuck because one if the guy's not like rich as fuck or he doesn't have money I'm sorry it doesn't matter I've had friends I've had guy friends that don't have that much

fucking money but they are fucking putting the money up when they're taking a girl out or when they're ordering in it men it doesn't have to be every time I'm not saying that but what I'm saying is it is fucking nice sorry if it goes back to societal standards don't give a fuck if a guy isn't gonna pay for my fucking dinner ever ever then I'm not fucking you it's just the gesture and it's a nice thing to fucking do and I agree I don't think you're being spoiled I think it's fucked up so I guess what I would say is I think maybe that at a time what you could do is you could plan so okay no wait this is what I could do is you could plan. Okay, no, wait, this is what I would do. I would plan such a cute date night for him. I would go all out. I would go get, I would get delivered food before

he like comes out, put it on plates, make it all nice, get candles, flowers, the whole fucking thing. Okay. And have such a cute night. Who knows? Maybe go the extra length and like put on some fucking lingerie and fuck his brains out later that way you have fucking leverage bitch so then when a week goes by and he doesn't buy you fucking dinner you sit his fat ass down and you say can we have an open and honest conversation I love you but the other night that I went the extra mile I bought you dinner I made us a cute date night do you realize that you never do that for me I don't know if you've ever bought me a meal and it's not about money it's more about the gesture of it and it's more about what the meaning behind it like do not want to wine and dine me I feel like guys love

doing that I feel like guys I've dated like get off on buying you dinner or buying me dinner and then getting fucked like it's it's just a way of payment you get me a fucking steak I'm gonna fuck you a little better that night and then if you get me fucking McDonald's and maybe you'll get like a little finger in your asshole so and then maybe that's a weird way to go about it but I think I would do that basically a little unhealthy but get yourself some leverage and then go right for the fucking juggernaut hi daddy I'm sending this question in twice because I really need an answer and i'm too shy to ask any friends my boyfriend is very aggressive in bed i have been craving more passionate sex we haven't been having much sex so i brought it up and he got mad finally we did

yesterday and it was so fast literally such a bummer we tried again tonight but he was calling me a slut which I've definitely before told him that I'm not into I think from my past trauma of feeling used and like a door and like a dirty whore I don't want to be called those things after I asked him why it turned him on because I don't really understand why he wants to view me as that we've been together a year and I'm pushing him away because of my trauma and my inability to feel connected during sex especially because of our very different fantasies which his haven't always been this way until the past few months what do i do to communicate without offending him and without just pushing aside my own desires this is a really good question um okay my first reaction is if this is just recently that he's been fucking you and calling

you a slut he may be watching more porn as a real as a result of you guys not fucking as much and so he's watching dirty porn and like that's what porn is he's watching dirty ass porn and then he's fucking you and calling you a slut because like that's what they do in porn I think it sucks to say this but I speaking from experience I'm just kind of going through my brain right now I have never had more like passionate in love making sex in my life than I have ever had with door number three and it was a good balance because we could get dirty but then it was like there were moments where it was like whoa like it was like super passionate and listen I can be the caller daddy podcast host I don't give a fuck I will say as a girl when a guy fucks you like that not obviously like weeping like crying his eyes out like I love you so much

but like fucks you passionately and it's like fully making love to you and is like slow stroking you and rubbing your clit and kissing on you and like it's fucking hot like I have had so many orgasms with that man because I'm like whoa just watching his face turns me off because I'm like oh fuck you love me. This is hot. Unfortunately, I've also had exes that the passion wasn't as much like we're in love. It was more like a physical like, oh, yeah, fuck me. I'm your slut kind of shit. Some guys just can't like get there in a weird way. And I know that sounds really sad, but like some guys physically and emotionally are never going to

fuck you passionately because like their their bandwidth of like their emotions connected to sex are just not like that and I have had guys that it's almost a deal breaker for me when I'm considering like a boyfriend more so of like I need that I know I need my partner to be able to do both I think my advice to you because it seems like you've brought this up to him is one I think it's concerning that you've said you don't like being called a slut and he continues to do it I think you should have kind of like sex with Emily had said on one of the episodes I think you should have a conversation with him during the day specifically don't do it during night I don't know something about during the day if everything's just like more woke it's like whoa like you're in the middle

of the day like someone just ate like a breakfast sandwich and we're talking about this shit do you know what i mean it's just like daylight talking about sex like we're having a fucking serious conversation and you're gonna be uncomfortable let's go sit the fuck down and i think i would i think i would lay out everything you're saying listen I love you so much and I really really have enjoyed our sex but recently I have tried to communicate with you specifically you calling me a slut during sex is such a trigger for me and therefore a turnoff I don't enjoy the sex now again you have to find it within yourself are you down to fuck and like be nasty and wild? But maybe if he doesn't call you slut.

So then maybe you find in between like I would be totally down to have semi rough sex. But I kind of want to find a good balance of also like you fucking me slower and like you rubbing my clit and like focusing more on me and me getting to use my vibrator and us doing more foreplay and really working me up. So I'm actually turned on and not you just spitting on your fucking hand putting it on me and fucking me doggy for 10 minutes and coming on my back that does nothing for me dude and I think if he doesn't reciprocate then you have to make a decision with regard to your relationship are you down to be in a relationship with someone where you're essentially not going to have sex when you do have sex he fucks you like you're a porn star clearly that's not what

you want so but i would have an open conversation with him and try one more time sit down in the fucking daylight bitch you got this i love you daddy oh i moved to a new state a few months ago and my neighbor across the street is literally one of the hottest people I have ever seen. I'm sure you can see where this is going. I want to go out with him, but I don't know how to go about it because obviously if things don't work, I have to continue to live across the street from him. We're Facebook and Snapchat friends. Oh, bitch. So you're like already in. And we recently started following each other on Insta. There have been a few conversations over social media, but nothing in person. Please help a girl out on how to move forward. I have asked him if he wants to get drinks and he said yes, but he hasn't made a

move of asking me out. I love the air of the single father and I'm so excited for the new year of call her daddy. Love love you daddy okay with COVID right now shit is definitely slower moving if he is living across from you number one my advice to you is who gives a fuck if you have to keep seeing him put that out the window he has to live across from you too it takes two to tango and two to be awkward so if it doesn't work out who the fuck okay make him move you're not moving who cares close your fucking blinds we don't give a shit but the opportunity daddy that you live across from a hot man i'm jealous i'm horny let's get it i think you get right in there if he hasn't made a move on you i think what you do is you fully set up a night and be like hey

i got tested the other week i'm covid free like if you want to get tested and you're down i love that this is our new norm like hey if you want to go get tested for your std oh no sorry i mean covid like what but why don't you just be covid safe and be like if you're if you recently gotten tested like let's do something this weekend do you want to come like hang out my backyard like let's have drinks you initiate it who gives a fuck clearly if he is having conversations with you and he follows you on all social media this bitch is down and he said he was down to hang at some point guys sometimes suck at initiating especially if he's fucking in there playing video games or doing whatever the fuck dudes are doing in corona initiate it get him in your fucking backyard

and sit on that man's fucking dick boom hi alex i am currently a freshman in college and i have zero experience with guys i have i have had small flings in high school but nothing really ever happened and i'm still super inexperienced i thought when i went to college it would be easy to find guys but for some reason i am terrible at flirting at parties and tinder seems like a lost cause do you have any tips on how to get out there and more flirting tips? I'm seriously struggling. Sincerely, a 19-year-old virgin. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. Of course I have tips for you, sweetheart.

That actually is such a good observation though. You think you can go to college and unless you have an initial sports team or maybe you're in a sorority, if you don't have an immediate group of friends sometimes it is hard with guys to connect because you need to have a friend group almost to enable yourself to be infiltrating male groups my biggest suggestion for people in college that are having a hard time what I did is freshman year I will never forget me and this one girl on my soccer team who was also a freshman. We had classes with the BU hockey guys and immediately she was so outgoing, like so outspoken.

I'm obviously very outgoing, but she was even more than me. And she walked up to the BU hockey guys after like our second class together and was like, what are you guys doing tonight? Do you want to come over to our dorm and hang? And I was like, oh you guys doing tonight do you want to come over to our dorm and hang and I was like oh fuck like go girl all of the boys came over and we fully had six freshman hockey dudes chilling in our fucking dorm room because they didn't have anything else to do and we were the first girls to approach them and I ended up dating one of them because we did group hangs you have to be down for the hangs parties you're just gonna go to a fucking

party and maybe have a drunken makeout that's sloppy as fuck you're not actually having real conversations with dude until once you get like a little bit older you're not a freshman you're not like floundering around just trying to find a drink and like you don't know anyone in your freshman year if you can find a group of your girls to then infiltrate and ask certain groups of guys if they want to hang that is the bullseye that is where then at the hangs you start to have one-on-one conversations it's not awkward you're not on a date you can get up at any time and go pretend you're going to get a new drink oh i gotta go to a drink like i'll be right i'll be back and then you start having conversations and then by the end of that night your goal should be to close so okay this guy not vibing with and never feel fucking bad

for being like I'm going to get a drink and get up and like pretend to be partying with your friend and be like oh my god Bridget let's go take a shot and like leave him in the dust if you didn't like him we don't waste any time bitches it's fucking college nobody gives a fuck about anyone's feelings and so then you go you do your rounds to some dudes. And then once you sit down and you start talking like, oh, like what, where do you live? Cool. Like what classes are you taking? Whatever. Yada, yada, yada. Where are you from? Dope. Smile, bunch, drink. Let's go make a drink together. Do you want to play beer pong together? Make him your partner. And then by the end of the night, if you are giving him enough attention, he's giving it back. He's going to get, he's going to get your number or

he's going to give you his number. And then you plan to hang out alone. It's really all about the group hangs, bitches in college. I swear. Daddy, I started dating this guy while at college and we got on super well and slept together a few times. He was telling me how I fuck like a porn star and I gave him the best head that he's ever had. Thank you to the Gluck Gluck. But he started leaving me on delivered for like three days at a time and then randomly

snapchatted me to say that he is back together with his ex. How do I deal with the rejection? Because it made me feel so insecure. Daddy, this has nothing to do with you daddy you should not feel insecure at all about this well no i take that back obviously i get it why you feel insecure but let me ease your mind sweetheart you should not feel insecure if anything you should know you fuck good he told you you fuck good this has nothing to do with you. Sometimes guys just go back to an ex and they need to get back into the relationship stage. That's all it is. They crave the relationship stage and they go immediately back to the ex.

And guys do that a lot. I think especially now in quarantine, if a guy started single in quarantine and he's been doing his single thing on dating apps fucking randoms a lot of those guys by now are reaching back out to their exes and they're now getting back into relationships because they're like okay i'm bored i've fucked around enough now i want some comfort and a bitch to make me fucking cheese pie is cheese pie even a thing no but you know what i'm saying guys are fucking weird like that immediately something goes off in their head and they're like I need to go back into a relationship all you need to know sweetheart is you fuck like a porn star and you sucked the fucking living shit out of his dick and you did nothing wrong if anything he's probably fucking his girlfriend and he's thinking about you I think everyone in

quarantine me included I've gone through so many different waves where I'm like I want to talk to every man on the planet and then you're like okay I'm bored of this even in life it happens not just quarantine you fuck around and you date a lot and then you want a relationship and then you're in a relationship and then you're itching to get back to being single it's just the way the world works daddy motherfucking gang it is gonna be a good fucking year that is it for this week's episode but it is the beginning of this year I urge all of you to almost use this episode as a time listen I fucked up at the beginning of 2021 and if you did too I know that listen I know that in like the religious sense I'm not a father but I am a father and that's got to give me some type of credentials

and legitimacy. And so I'm going to use that legitimacy to let you know that I have abolished myself of my own sins, aka the nightstand situation. And I abolish you of your sins. Daddy gang, if you fucking texted that dude and you got in your feels and you told him you liked him in 2021 already, you already fucked up. No, you didn't. Oh, you texted him dude and you got in your feels and you told him you liked him in 2021 already. You already fucked up. No, you didn't. Oh, you texted him that and you were embarrassed. No, you didn't. Oh, you cheated on your boyfriend already.

No, you fucking didn't. Daddy gang, I absolve you of your sins. Go in peace. We are fine. This episode is officially now the start of 2021. Let it be known the last few, they were just a trial run. They don't count for shit. But Daddy Gang, I am so excited for this fucking year.

I am so excited to roll out for you one specific thing next week. Ah. What would 2021 be if Alex Cooper didn't start the first sexual segment off talking about taking what taking a fucking dick to the back of her throat daddy king something happened to me in blowjob central and it was actually the complete opposite of what you would think gagging throwing up the whole situation i will be back next week motherfuckers with a nice skull fuck story and you know the fucking drill. I will see you fuckers

next Wednesday.