Call Her Daddy - 107- "I'm Just Not In Love With You Anymore."

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

This week is pure drama, drama and more drama. Father Cooper kicks off the episode by revealing a dirty package she sent across the pond.. but more importantly, she tells the Daddy Gang about a secret she’s been keeping from them. Tune in to find out what actually happened to Alex last month in London. This story includes the police and a very toxic third party that will be exposed and revealed. Lastly, someone who ended their 7 year relationship with their boyfriend joins the show this week and reveals how she found the courage to end it, the hard truth of ending it over just “not being in love anymore,” details on the breakup conversation, and life after a breakup. Guess who? ENJOY DADDIES!!

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy hello hello hello good morning daddy gang what the fuck is up it is your founding father for another episode of call her daddy how are you all doing i hope you're feeling good i hope you're feeling lighter aka you took your morning poop you are ready to seize the goddamn day i am feeling lighter too because i just shipped not shit i just well i well, I did. I just shit. I just shit and shipped a little something, something to Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. Daddy gang, last week, Mr. Sexy Zoo Man left for London and he is going to be gone for an entire month while I am back here in Los Angeles, California. Naturally, knowing my history, I'm sure that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, he's going to have his doubts, rightfully so. But me being the kind and the empathetic and

the understanding and the caring, genuine, wholehearted, does more for others than herself kind of gal that I am, I wanted to do something to reassure this man. So what I did is I wrote him a letter, snail mail style, baby. I found a pen. No, I went and bought a pen. I found paper. Nope. I went and bought paper and I wrote him a goddamn letter. Yes, you whores, she can fucking write. Okay. And I channeled my inner Ryan Gosling Rachel McAdams the notebook circa 2000 whatever the fuck it is and I wrote a goddamn masterpiece Allie it's Noah I love you I love you Noah I love you Allie and I sat there and I wrote a fucking masterpiece, okay? However, let me be very clear. As brilliant as this writing was,

I have to stay true to myself, and I do not want to be raising any red flags in Mr. Sexy Zoom Man's mind. Writing love letters is not a characteristic of mine. So if he received a transcontinental letter from yours truly, Mr. Sexy Zoom In is going to open that envelope, read this letter, and not even get halfway fucking through it before he thinks that I not only fucked someone in his bed, but I fucked someone in his bed, booty bumped a candle, and burnt down his entire fucking house. It it's along those lines that this man is gonna be like picking up the phone and say hey girlfriend

hey big al what did you do hey what's up what happened how's my house is my house okay and so me being the self-aware gem that i am i knew i want to not freak him the fuck out. And I can use this as an opportunity to add some kink into this. Cue the chronicles of the traveling thong. Yes, daddy gang. I decided that it was in my best interest and Mr. Sexy Zoo Man's best interest that I was going to send him a dirty worn thong of mine. Very sexual, a classic go-to. We love it. And any single girl listening to this podcast, if you have done this before, you very well know the psychotic amount of thought and attention to detail that goes into concocting the most perfect specimen that is a quote-unquote

dirty thong this is a well-oiled machine step number one the fucking smell there is a criteria that comes with sending a goddamn dirty thong so number number one, the smell. Oh boy. Oh fucking boy. On that spectrum. I want to be very clear to anyone listening that has never sent a thong or if you have and you've done this, this is a big fat no, no. You are not sending this man a pair of panties fresh out of the fucking wash that smells like a downy sheet. And he's like, thanks for the laundry. Like I, I think you accidentally put one of your thongs in the envelope like it got it got caught in there also with the dryer sheet fuck no but baby girls you're also not sending this poor poor poor man your crumpled up pair that's in the back of that drawer and has this period stains on it that

you've been wearing a day too fucking long and it's fucking crusting over at the seam. We're not sending him skid mark row, ladies. We are not going skid city on this one. No, no. So let me tell you, daddy gang, what worked for me that morning. I worked out and I didn't wear underwear when I worked out. So the scents could really get a brewing. We're really cooking in the kitchen here with these scents. And that way there was like a very nice like sweat to aeration ratio. Do you know what I'm saying? So then after my workout, I did not shower. And then I popped the chosen panties on. And I walked a mile in those panties to get myself a smoothie with Lauren.

We're walking, we're walking. And listen, I'm not going to act all superior here. I did get a little nervous that day that I did put the panties on and I took the stroll. It was a hotter day than I had anticipated for my panty walk. And I was nervous that I was going to enter swamp ass territory. That's no lie. That's a risk you have to take if you're going to decide to go out in 80 degree weather and quickly go for your pantywalk. But to my satisfaction, when I got back to the house, when I got home, I ripped off

my leggings, which I did strategically wear since I was doing it in a shorter, more condensed period of time, just a mile, not a whole day spree of me in these. I wore leggings strategically to really seal in the moisture of the sweat down there. Okay. Really get in the juices, really get in the smells. Pro tip. Don't go with shorts when you're doing a quick one too, because you, there's too much ventilation and we're really trying to engorge him in these aromas. So when I took off my underwear, I approached it the same as any girl would. I approach optimistically, but yet a bit cautiously, not knowing whether I'm about to sniff the glorious female aroma of my vagina or a little swampy shit that I just accidentally shot myself on the way to get a fucking smoothie. Okay. But there before my senses was victory guys,

I put that thing right to my nose and it was the perfect blend, a little salty, a little sweet, a little kick, you know what I mean? A little zesty. Perfect. Then I took a look with my eyeballs. Okay. And before my eyes, I see a little dollop of Daisy. Every single girl knows what I mean when I say a little dollop of Daisy, you know, you know, and that's all I have to fucking say. Bon appétit, Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. So there I was, guys. I walked my ass into FedEx I put everything into an envelope and I stood there and I paid a whopping 170 fucking dollars to send this pussy to London apparently this pussy ain't cheap now I realize which is sad is the 170 dollars it. It's worth it. But is it worth it? When I know that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man is not going to be the first one that is going to get a whiff of this pussy.

That's right, Daddy Gang. I first sent it to Slim Shady. No, I'm just kidding. Basically, when I was in London last month and in November, every single time that I received a package, it had on one of those slips saying like opened and inspected by TSA or like customs or whoever the fuck. And so I'm realizing that some lucky ass TSA man's going to get some hardwood this morning because it's arriving today and he's going to open that envelope and get that nice fucking pussy whiff before Mr. Sexy Zoom In gets the chance.

So although that sucks, I'm anticipating it. Unless I am the only one that's packages get opened. And that would not surprise me because in my mind, I probably am now on high alert list in London. Daddy gang, welcome to the show this week. Shit is about to get dark. I am about to tell you the truth about what happened to me last month in London. Daddy gang, we're getting right into it. This was a story I didn't know if I was going to tell, but here the fuck we are. I was london the month of december the night before christmas eve i was sitting in my cottage that mr sexy zoo man and i had gotten for christmas it's a long story why the

fuck was i there over christmas with a man we'll get to it i am sitting in my room alone and i am on therapy with my therapist and we are dissecting some really fucking deep childhood shit childhood trauma why the fuck I am the way I am going deep those sessions you don't even know why how the fuck you got there but you're going fucking deep and in the middle of my therapy session Mr. Sexy Zoo Man starts calling me and calling me and calling me. Now, this man knows I'm on therapy. He's down in the hotel lobby bar. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

Why is this man calling me over and over? He knows where I am. What is going on? Something must be wrong. I answer the phone and Mr. Sexy Zoo Man proceeds to tell me that the police are in the lobby and they are here for me. Now you're all wondering why the fuck are they there? How the fuck did we get here? What the fuck is going on, Alex? Well, welcome to the Call Her Daddy podcast and welcome to my life, bitches. I'll fucking tell you exactly how

I got there. So let's rewind a little bit. I'm going to set the scene. In the months of November, December, if you follow me on Instagram, you would see I was in London. I am in London at the beginning of December. I'm with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, all's well in love and war. However, London had been hit so bad with Corona that they were about to transition to tier four, which is the most severe. Everything is is the most severe. Everything is shut the fuck down. And Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and I had to face the hard facts that we're not going home to see our families for Christmas. So before London shuts down in tier four, we make plans to get out into the countryside, do something pretty romantic, get a nice cottage and go spend our Christmas there together. Now, obviously, if you know me,

Daddy Gang, I was a little fucking pressed. I'm like, we were spending Christmas together. One. And then two, I was pretty bummed. I'm not going to get to see my family, but that's just what it was. I'll spare you the fucking details of how I cried myself to sleep every night. No, I'm just kidding. I was fine, but it fucking sucked. So before the city of London turns to tier four, Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and I get the fuck out of there and we go to this beautiful, beautiful cottage that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and I get the fuck out of there and we go to this beautiful beautiful cottage that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man treated me to I will give the man credit he did good he did fucking good Mr. Sexy Zoo Man shout out I felt like I was fucking Cameron Diaz in the goddamn holiday okay I was living my best life it was a miracle especially just for the circumstances

that we were having to celebrate the holiday in so it's the night here we go here we go it is the night before Christmas Eve there's about 12 families staying in this cottage on the grounds and to get into this place it was very fucking hard we had to send each three COVID tests every day before we got there if we weren't from the UK to show when we got there did we quarantine are we coming from tier three and not from tier four etc etc we fill out all the paperwork we get there it's the night before christmas eve ah yes here we go daddy gang so mr sexy zoom in and i are putting on our sweaters we're getting all cozy ready go down to the bar socially distance put our glasses put our goggles put our face shields on and go have ourselves a nice night. We're walking down and all of a sudden I get an alarm on my phone and it says therapy, you stupid bitch. I usually

never set an alarm for therapy, but because it's eight hours ahead in London for two consecutive weeks, I missed my therapy session. And you can say I missed it or I ghost my therapist, whatever the fuck you want to believe. The point was, is I was like, I can't miss another one. So as we're entering the bar, I'm like, Oh fuck, I have therapy. Mr. Sexy zoom, man, go get yourself a drink. Relax. You're on vacation. I'm going to go to therapy. I'm going to go see if the library is open or our room, whatever. I'll find a space. I'm going to go do therapy. I rush up to our room. My computer's dead. I take my phone and I log on to Zoom and I begin therapy. Now, listen, I'm not going to fucking lie.

Love my therapist to death. But I wasn't in the mood. Everyone who's in therapy, you get it. I was not in the mood for therapy. I had just seen the alcohol. I'm ready to black out. It's fucking Christmas time, baby. Let's rage.

But then those are almost the best sessions because all of a sudden I didn't expect it. And all of a sudden I'm talking about this childhood shit that I'm like crying. I'm intense. I'm like, holy shit, this is unpacking some major shit that I didn't even know about myself. I'm really seeing the roots, where I come from, why I am the way I am. Wouldn't you guys love to fucking know? And then I get a text from Mr. Sexy Zoom Man. I ignore it, whatever, probably telling me what he's drinking. Then I get another text. I'm like, whatever. It's probably a dick pic. I ignore again. And then this is when the calls start. And I'm like, hold on. Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm getting distracted. Mr. Sexy Zoom Man keeps calling me. And my therapist is like, well, do you want to take the call? And I'm

like, um, yeah, I guess I should. He knows I'm in therapy. He wouldn't be calling me unless something is wrong. I pick up the phone and Mr. Sexy Zoo Man says, did you see your text messages? I say, what? He goes, look at your phone right now. I go to my text. I open my text messages for Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and there are two texts the first one says the police are here and the second one says

where are you in that moment I could tell from his voice something was wrong but I also knew listen I know I'm a degenerate but I knew I didn't do anything wrong so I was like wait okay why are the like what's going on like I'm so confused okay what are what's the point of you telling me this like what's happening is there drama downstairs like are you okay and he says Alex the police are here for you now in that moment my therapist is like hey big al you good i am like shaking i don't understand i'm in fucking london i'm not in the united states i don't know what's happening i don't know why they're here for me why the fuck is the police here for me so i say i'm on therapy what

do you want me to do should i come down he said no they just left but they're coming back in an hour and they want to speak to you. I'm coming upstairs. Don't move. I will be back and I'll explain everything. Hangs up on me. Then I log back onto the Zoom app and I look at my therapist in the eyes. I say, we're rounding up. We got a double session coming, sweetheart. Hope you don't have a full pack schedule. I'm going to need you. She's like, and she looks at me and it's so classic therapists are always there for you until the fucking 50 minute mark is up and then they don't even know you she's like well you know we'll chalk it up to let's talk about it next week but I may not be here next

Wednesday I may be in fucking jail she's like I don't get paid enough goodbye so Mr. Sexy Zoo Man walks into the room immediately I'm like what the fuck happened tell me everything and he says he was sitting at the bar the manager came over to him and said sir the police are here for you in the lobby he goes to the lobby and there are two police officers a female and a male police officer and they step outside and they have a conversation. They ask him, sir, are you here alone? And he says, yes. They say, sir, are you staying here alone? Asshole.

And he says, no, I am here with someone. They say, are you here with Alex Cooper? And he says, yes. They ask where I was. And he says, I'm not sure she's having therapy somewhere on the grounds. I'm not exactly sure which room. They look at him and they say this is a serious matter we are going to come back in an hour and she needs to be here obviously in that moment mr sexy zoom in it's like well we what the

fuck is going on like what the fuck happened he's trying to protect me but he's like i don't know if i look what's happening and they look at him and they say and they keep it vague and they basically just say we have gotten an exorbitant amount of filed reports claiming that she has broken the law they get back in their car and they leave now daddy gang this is where it gets really really really fucking dark because there is a different player in this game that I haven't brought onto the table yet and you're about to find out who it fucking is when Mr. Sexy Zoo Man sitting there and he says do you have any idea what they're talking about I pause and I get this like overwhelming sick feeling that comes over me because I actually know exactly what they're talking about a few weeks prior as I was sitting in London hammered one night going through my dms I got

a dm from a daddy gang member and I opened it and usually daddy gang members don't dm me and be like hey Alex like this person's talking shit on you they're more so give me a heads up when like, yo, the shit's dark. And I think you would want to know. I opened the DM and it is a screenshot of a Reddit feed. And the subject line of this Reddit feed says something along the lines of sign this petition. Let's make sure Alex cannot get back into the United States. Crafty. I'll give it to them.

Very crafty. Sadly, it would be that I get kicked out of London I can't not get back into the United States you fucking idiots in that drunk moment I didn't think twice about it I get shit like this every day all day people send me shit on reddit and that's just what my life has become that's totally fine and even seeing that I was like whatever but what I remember is underneath in that forum is a link where people can go and can click and they can go report me to the London police claiming that I am breaking protocol. Okay. So I'm sitting on the bed with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. And I say, oh my God, I literally know exactly why they're here. I explained the entire thing to him. I say, I remember there's a fucking petition for me to not get back into the united fucking states of america

and they're literally having thousands of people that hate me are going on and reporting me one poor mr sexy zoom at first he was just baffled he's like wait i'm so i'm sorry i'm a little confused you're saying people hate you this much that they're just reporting you i'm like i, I'm like, baby, you know, the thing is, is it sounds crazy to you, but it's actually quite normal to me. Yes. That's just what Reddit is. Like, I don't even hate it anymore. I've accepted it. It comes with this career. And so he looks at me and he says, well, then you need to tell that to the police because they are very angry and they are coming back so basically I sit there with Mr. Sexy Zoom Man for a couple more minutes and I'm just like damn like I'm not gonna lie I was

fucking I was upset first I was a little fucking before I remembered the reddit thing I was like a little nervous I'm like I'm in fucking London like am I about to get fucking thrown in jail like what is going on what did I do I don't quite remember what I did but I was pretty certain I didn't do anything wrong so finally Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and I talk we talk with the managers we talk with everyone and everyone is like we you literally couldn't be here had you not gone through protocol you're fine so Mr. Sexy Zoo Man like the amazing man he is it's like he's like listen they said they're coming back in an hour it has now been an hour let's go fucking enjoy our night you know you did nothing wrong we have submitted multiple covid tests they have your flight information they know that you

quarantine we both quarantine we left before it turned to tier four we got here to a tier two the hotel would be in trouble if they were letting us randomly fucking be here we were breaking the fucking law we're going downstairs to the fucking bar. Let's have a fucking drink. We're drinking. We're drinking. There's no sign of the police. An hour has gone by and Mr. Sexy Zoo Man starts to get annoyed.

In the place that we were staying is connected a Michelin star restaurant. And we had a seven course meal dinner coming up. A nice expensive dinner that Mr. Sexy Zoo Man planned. Nice and romantic. And he starts to get annoyed. course meal dinner coming up a nice expensive dinner that mr sexy zoom man planned nice and romantic and he starts to get annoyed he's like i want to go have dinner but i also don't want to get interrupted by these by the police to be like oh hey can you step outside and we're on like our fourth fucking course because at this point again he knows like we did nothing wrong fucking fine us for what nothing finally we're like fuck it Let's go to dinner. We go into the dinner. We reach our third course.

And what do you guys think happens? Our waiter comes over and they say, Miss Cooper, Mr. Sir, Mr. Sexy Sir, the police are back. At that moment, we had had so many cocktails. We had gone through that. I had done nothing wrong. We're like, let's fucking go. We get the fuck out. We're like storm charging to the done nothing wrong we're like let's fucking go we get the fuck out we're like storm charging to the police we're like let's fucking go so we step outside and immediately i knew the vibe is off they don't look angry and scary like mr sexy

zoo man had described them at this point they look uncomfortable and like awkward like their shoulders are they're like half of their body is turned to their car like they want to fucking leave and so i approach it i'm super respectful and i just say hi i'm alex i'm so sorry for the drama that's been caused i would love to understand what the situation is from my understanding i have followed every single protocol to be at this resort can you please let me know like why you guys are here and what's going on they they stare at me in silence for a minute it's like awkward and also by the way guys this conversation is less than two minutes they're staring at me and they say miss cooper i appreciate you coming and meeting us out here we're really sorry to take you out of your dinner immediately in that

moment i knew they realized there's nothing i did nothing wrong and this is now awkward that they're pulling me out of this dinner but I'm again I continue to be super respectful and I'm like well what do you think is going on and they say I guess we're having a really hard time right now because when we just showed up we had hundreds of reports from people submitting saying you were breaking quarantine protocol. And then an hour went by, an hour. And on our way back here, we got another substantial amount of reports. And we're trying to understand why this many people in influx are flooding in and reporting you. Because from what we've seen and what we've spoken to manager you

mr sexy zoom sir there is no issue here and i looked him in the face and i said can i ask you a question they're like sure i said have you ever heard of Reddit? I'm not fucking kidding you, Daddy King. I literally looked these people in the eye and said that. And the man looks at me and he goes, no. And I'm like, sir, just stay with me for a minute. I understand you're frustrated and you're very confused, as am I.

But I think I have your answer. I have a show. It's a podcast. I don't know if you know what a podcast is, but I have a podcast and I have a public platform. And on that public platform, I have people that like me and I have people that hate me. There is a forum on the internet right now that people are currently actively still signing a petition to try to make sure that I am not able to get back into the United States. Oh, Daddy Gang, when I told the police this, Mr. Sexy Zoom Man, the male and the female officer all look at me like I have fucking 19 heads they're like excuse me

and in that moment I think first the the female officer was started to really realize we're in the middle of fucking internet drama you've gotta be fucking kidding me and all of a sudden it fucking clicked and these officers looked at each other and they were like we are so sorry that we didn't look further into this I am sorry that we took you out of your dinner please go back inside please have an amazing night and I literally go as far to say if it makes you more comfortable I will stop posting while I'm in London for the time being and they literally go no maam, keep doing what you're doing. Duly noted what's happening here.

Enjoy your night. Goodbye. They walk away. And in that moment, Daddy Gang, well, one, I look over to Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. And I think it's all really starting to like hit him like this is I guess this is the chick that I'm fucking seeing right now. Like what a fucking time. I mean, this girl's fucking life. But he was cute. We get back to dinner. Basically, we walk inside and he stops me and he was like, hey, like the way you were talking about the way these people hate you. Like

I just want to make sure like, are you OK? Like it's pretty intense. And I think he kind of lost me where I was like, listen, I know this is going to sound really weird, but at this point, this is actually really normal to me. And in a strange way, like I don't fault these people. I don't hate these people. He's like, okay, I'm losing you a little. I'm like, no, I guess the point is, is like, I understand this is what comes with having this show and having a public platform.

And in a fucked up way, I've gotten to the conclusion that there is no difference between a hate view and a like view. Views are views. And so in a very, very convoluted, fucked up way, I have to love these people or I have to at least support these people in some way because they technically are supporting the show maybe

in a negative way but they're making the show money they're keeping the fucking lights on as much as they want to hate me they support the show and so I that's how I look at it and it doesn't bother me and I lean and I'm like but I completely understand if it bothers you and he's like I'm fine but like I'm just a little fucking rocked like I just let's go drink and I'm like totally understand let's go back to drink and so to wrap it up and i know this is gonna sound really fucking weird but it felt like i'm not gonna say a bonding moment but it was very like invigorating and it felt it was it was a full adrenaline rush i think the rest of the night both of us were like drinking heavy we were fucking partying it was like damn

like what the fuck just happened you know when shit goes crazy like a party gets crashed like some wild shit happens and you're like what just happened like yeah we didn't do anything wrong but it felt bad like it felt dangerous goddamn bonnie and clyde fugitives on the run oh the cops are here and then we fucked like rabbits that night and i was on a high and it was a fun story we like told my parents my parents i decided to tell my parents like a couple days after the fact because my mom would have had a heart attack and he told his family surprisingly they didn't care and our friends and then now here i am telling it on the call her daddy podcast and i knew the minute it happened i'm like here go. This is a perfect fucking segment for the Call Her Daddy show.

So sadly, as much as it was in a negative spirit that the petition began, the petition led to us, led to bringing us here. And I think we had a good time. I hope you guys enjoyed that story. But I think I'm going to, I think I'm going to chill on London for a little bit. I don't think I'm going to be going back there for a while and I'm sure a lot of people will be happy to see that including my two little police friends shout out wherever you are now okay daddy gang we are about to kick off a fucking segment I want you to sit back relax close your eyes and think of an answer when I ask you this question

have you ever been in a relationship that you stay out of comfort that you stay because of time invested in that person have you ever been in a relationship where you wish that person would literally just cheat on you so it would make it easier to just have a clean break and break up with them? Have you loved someone's family and friends so much that you can't imagine not seeing them again so you just don't break up with them? Have you been dissatisfied with your sex life? Have you been dissatisfied with the emotional connection? A commonality is it's easier to just stay in these situations. I didn't name any crazy toxic things. You're comfortable. You're safe. The sex life isn't great, but I love him. I love her. And a lot of times people just stay. And the idea to leave is like on your mind 24 seven,

but you have no fucking idea how to do it. The reason you're all like, okay, Alex, please stop calling me out thank you very much go fuck yourself um daddy gang the reason i'm bringing this up right now is because i have been getting an overwhelming amount of dms recently of people in relationships coming to these huge huge conclusions during quarantine specifically about their relationships wanting to break up with their significant other and having no fucking idea how to do it and don't even know if they can do it so as i'm reading these dms and i'm like okay how do i talk to the daddy gang about this because i haven't gone through a breakup in quarantine

i do know someone that has gone through a breakup in quarantine and she happens to live with me. Lauren. Hello. Hello. Lauren just went through this and she did it. She broke up with her boyfriend of seven years during Corona. And so basically Lauren and I are sitting here, we're eating sushi. We were drinking tequila. And I asked her if she could quickly come on and just tell her experience quickly, because I'm very aware if I'm like guys come on you can do it it's gonna be so easy you're like okay Alex shut the fuck up but I have someone in person right now that has gone through it Lauren quickly exploit your life for us thank you for coming on can you talk to us about this breakup yeah so if I'm just gonna jump into it, I think it was the like face slapping realization that this just isn't the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

But I've invested seven years into this. We have all of the same friends. I'm checking those boxes that you were just talking about. And how do I tell this person this? How do I just one day we are living together, we are quarantined together. How do I just one day turn over on the we are quarantined together how do I just one day turn over on the couch and say hey I want to break up I'm not in love with you anymore that is fucking terrifying that terrifying that scares me and like maybe that sounds less juicy

than this giant cheating scandal and this giant blow up or blow out. But I think it's a lot harder to leave with just these emotions and these feelings. I had no anger. I wasn't running out the door and slamming my door and be like, I'm never speaking to you again. This is a person I care about who I considered my best friend. And like the thing is, it was by no means a toxic relationship. We had all of the same friends we did everything together i loved his family my mom my brother knew him like our lives were very very

ingrained at this point at holidays together right um but you he just wasn't the one yeah but yeah he just and i think just to give you guys a little context lauren met this guy when she was 18 years old in college her freshman year of college so it's like you go through college and I think it really sucks but anyone listening if you are meeting someone in college and now you're 26 years old Lauren you both grew individually your careers you're at Columbia he has a great finance job and you grew individually but your relationship didn't grow and your like your emotional relationship your sex relationship every aspect of relationship didn't grow you didn't nourish that as much and so then you sat there at 26 and we had a lot of conversations about like he's great you're great he's not a bad

guy he's just not the one and i agree with you like anger is the most primitive go to response. That's so easy. Like, Oh fuck you, you cheated and you can have that to leave. How the fuck do you have to grappling with just being like, yeah. So like he can't change one thing.

He, that was, that was, that was so hard that like he did not like there was no specific moment where he did something wrong where I was like, now I know. Right. And he couldn't change. It was just who he is and who you are, who I am, what I had become and what I was feeling in that relationship. I I didn't feel hot. I didn't feel desired. I didn't feel sexy.

And yeah, I think like a defense mechanism that people use often is that well I know he loves me so much or I know he thinks I'm so hotter I know he would never cheat on me and yes I knew all of these things but these things aren't substitutes for in the moment passion and in the moment desire and like actually feeling it yeah it's one thing to know it it's another thing to actually feel it yeah I think that's so huge I think there's i know there's so many people in my dms being like but i love him but like this isn't i loved him right i still have love for him totally but i wasn't in love with him anymore we weren't in love with each other anymore i would go as far to say i also think that it to clarify it's's not like quarantine made Lauren have cabin fever

and want to like go jump someone else's bones. Like you had been thinking about this prior to quarantine, but quarantine heightened this for you. Yeah, it like it takes away like all the external noise. We're not going out with our mutual friend groups anymore. We're not doing these fun trips. We're not going to dinner. So I think I think that was definitely the catalyst.

And like, oh, my gosh, the feelings like leading up to the moment. Dude, let's talk about the breakup. Going through those feelings during quarantine, that was almost the worst part maybe, that it wasn't an overnight decision for me. And when I finally like kind of like was like, oh, like I think I know this is what I have to do now. It was a few weeks before I actually did do

it. And we're quarantining together. Neither of us are leaving for work. And I feel this huge, huge amount of guilt and I'm trying to act normal, but I'm trying not to act fake. And it was awful. It was terrible. I was losing weight. I couldn't eat. I was losing hair. No, it was not. It's not funny. No, it was so so shitty and that's why i'm laughing about it because i'm like yeah it was awful you know it was and lauren i remember that was crazy because and people probably almost remember social media wise like that was when you started it was before you moved in but you really started to come to my house a lot or my apartment because we were you were just trying to get out so you could clear your head because you're in that apartment with

him so basically i think we should go through like let's talk about it's like raising right now so i want to talk about the breakup because i think you and i rehearsed this breakup over and over and over because you had to get used to even saying those words i couldn't even look at you and say them at first you were scared fucking shitless. Rightfully so. And so Lauren and I would sit in my apartment and we literally did role plays together. No, this is like the best thing that we could have ever done is like silly and stupid as it sounds right now.

Like I am so glad we did that because I went into this conversation and like if you were preparing to have one of these conversations, prepare to black out and prepare to lose like every bit of logic or rationality that you have will go out the door I remembered one line the first line hello I am so sorry to tell you this but we have to break up that is the only thing I remembered the only thing I could say for four hours yeah I'm not gonna sugarcoat it either like during the four hours the entire four hours was torture not like a minute was easier and i definitely like throughout this four-hour conversation have moments moments of being like i think it's just easier right now like i almost just want to say like okay okay yeah like let's just try to fix it like let's try to do this and this and this. And that's why I'm saying that you are going to black out and you

are going to lose every single ounce of rationality that you have. And you have to go in being like, no matter what either of us say, no matter what either of us have, what happens, I am remembering how vividly and strongly and like resolute i feel right now and i'm gonna hold to that and if later down the line i want to change my mind i will but this is what i have to do right now and see how this makes me feel and did i know i was doing the right thing in the moment absolutely the fuck not dude you have to elaborate on that daddy gang the amount of conversations we had leading up to this where lauren kept being like am am i making the biggest mistake like am i fine where i am should i just stay so many people have that thought am i gonna give up something that's

good and stable and safe and will i be alone the rest of my life will i be stuck in shitty relationships the rest of my life and look back and have this like the biggest regret of my life will i be stuck in shitty relationships the rest of my life and look back and have this like the biggest regret of my life yeah you have to be okay with that uncertainty because right now you're uncertain and you're unsure so what's more uncertainty and right why not fucking go take a chance that take a chance on yourself and have confidence in yourself that you know that you can find better and deserve better and if you you are feeling that uncertainty, there will be better out there because I'm promising you, every single person, you will know when you found someone

and you couldn't be more certain. And that is the best fucking feeling. And it is worth being single for an extended amount of time to then find that person as opposed to being in a relationship that is stable and just blah and okay and oh it's fine it's fine i i mean i love him but it's not no you want sparks you want to

fucking feel it you want to wake up and be more in love with that person every single day yeah now wrapping up where we are here it's like coming to the realization that breaking up is the right decision sucks having the conversation sucks now you you do it. Now you basically are entering the stage of mourning something, mourning that seven year relationship. And to get deep for a second, this was more than cutting ties with a seven year relationship. This was cutting ties with a very, very deep part of my life yeah um i went through a trauma in college that was the worst experience of my life and he was there for you he was there for me he experienced it with me he got me through it and like i had moments of thinking that any

future partner that i'm gonna have i'm gonna have to tell them about this experience of my life, this formative, formative, dark experience of my life secondhand. And no one will know it like he knows it. But that's no reason to stay. I mean, to that, I couldn't agree more. I have nothing to say to that, Lauren. That was beautiful. I mean, I think you and I, we have had so many friend conversations about like, it is so hard to leave someone that was held like supportive and loving and is safe and comfortable to you. That's a safe and comfortable, especially what you went through. So to get rid of someone in your life that represents like safety and like the most stable thing I had in my life for a few years right to get rid of that it

is like cutting off a part of your life a part of myself yeah almost yeah and so I'm so thankful that you had him during that time but you were in no way and no one is you were no way indebted to him for being a really good person when you were going through a really shitty time and I hope everyone hears that so yeah Lauren fuck I guess I just thank you for coming on I think the daddy gang is gonna love you sharing this side of yourself I think to wrap this up daddy gang anyone out there that needed a sign you are like holy shit i love him but or you know i really love her but i want to hook up with someone else or i want to experience life without them or i feel like i have xyz whatever if there is a but that's really your answer right there

any doubt in your mind let this be a sign that you have your answer and i feel like a part of that is i love him or i don't want to hurt his feelings you have to put yourself first yeah and i am so grateful and so fortunate that i was able to pack up my bags and follow you across the country because it would be fucking hard right now doing this alone in new york city one mile down the street from him but I feel like I'm starting my life over dude that's some deep shit we didn't even I mean we could get into the whole thing of like the fact that you and I had such a crazy moment where like I wanted to come to LA Lauren broke up with her boyfriend that's why we say this move was so much bigger for us because it's like you literally were in a situation and daddy gang you can relate it's so

hard to break up with someone and you know you're gonna see them at the same bar you know this was an opportunity for us to get out of town and literally give you a chance to i'm literally starting my life over right now and i think it's amazing and that just gave me chills but i i'm so happy for you and i'm so happy to be a part of that like you're able to i'm so happy to be in la yeah i'm so happy to be living with my best friend right now it's there if you're gonna do a breakup move across the country with alex cooper no straight up daddy gang find your best friend and be like we i need in let's fucking go let's get out of here or again if you don't have the financials like there is there is always a way just surround

yourself with friends and with love yes and be supportive because be supportive because at the end of the day you're gonna feel alone but the the moments that you feel alone it is a lot better you have to be comfortable with feeling discomfort it wasn't easy it's still not easy but it's worth it it's worth it so if you needed a sign if there ever needed to be a sign what you needed to do if you're listening to this episode do it mic drop all right daddy gang what an amazing episode i really feel like we showed a lot of different themes with him. We had the panties. We hit a little police action. We had a little, oh my God, I'm not in love with him anymore. Break up with your fucking boyfriend. It just really always ceases to amaze me the different levels we can go.

Do you guys remember last week when I said I was going to be toxic? What the fuck was this week? I'm pretty sure health and fucking wellness bitches. So Eddie gang, I'm going to be toxic. What the fuck was this week? I'm pretty sure health and fucking wellness, bitches. So Eddie gang, I'm going to read you something because you're like, wait, no questions the week. No, I'm going to read you one DM that I got. Here we go. Hey, big Al, love you a bunch. And I'm actually a fan of questions of the week. But I was just wondering if you're okay after last week's questions of the week intro, just making sure you weren't having a stroke. Love ya. Oh, oh, sweetie. This is from Maddie. Maddie, you know what? That DM single-handedly made me go back and I never go back and I listened to what I blessed or more so cursed your ears with last week. I did a little Gossip Girl Terminator twist to the fucking

French Alps and I was so deep in that questions of the week. I think I truly scared people that enjoy it. So my decision has been, let's take a minute. Let's take a minute. I'm going to do questions of the week next week. We're going to take a break from this week and we're going to end on that beautiful, beautiful message that Lauren just preached through our souls. I'm feeling healthy. It's making me want to break up with everyone. I guess that's not healthy. Daddy gang, listen, I love you guys so much. If you guys pay attention to the ends of episodes, I told you guys last week that I was going to give you a raunchy, daunchy, disgusting blowjob technique slash story slash horror story. But I decided

to tell you the police story and said, so what I can promise you is next week, you're going to hear what happened as I laid my back on a bed and dangled my head off that bed and the things that came out of my mouth were truly so fucking shocking daddy gang I have told you content is spewing out of my asshole and the LA saga has only just begun you know the motherfucking drill i will see you fuckers next wednesday