Call Her Daddy - 109- I Have A Boyfriend

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

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what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy holy fucking shit what the fuck is up daddy gang it is your founding father for another episode of call her mother fucking daddy hello hi how are you all doing that la traffic this morning let me tell you cruising down the free you're all like shut the fuck up bitch don't even think for a second you're getting away with this one with a full, I do a full intro. I don't even acknowledge the title. Daddy motherfucking gang.

Welcome back to the show. Am I clickbaiting all of you right now? Are you getting clickbaited? Last week, I left you guys with a huge cliffhanger. I told you guys Mr. Sexy Zoo Man was returning from London and I had a decision to make and then you saw on social media I was heading to the airport that Monday night and a lot of you were DMing me saying Alex is this your ass fleeing the state you're going to Vegas you're going to Tulum you're going to Miami you're fleeing your emotions you're

staying single and you're fucking throwing all away and you're going to fucking rage? Or are you on your way to the airport to pick up Mr. Sexy Zoom Man? Daddy gang, all of call her daddy. I have been single and single has worked for me. Single works for the show. I like being single. I enjoy being single. It's in my blood. It is in my veins. So when all of you are wondering what decision I made, what do you think I decided? What were you all thinking I was going to do? If you guys know me at all,

you know that I will never settle down unless the man is worth it. Mark your fucking calendars, bitches, because your single father is officially changing her facebook status from single to in a god damn relationship your girl has a boyfriend and oh did it take a fucking village to get here but baby we fucking did it oh we did it oh we did it baby not only do i have a boyfriend you have a boyfriend no i'm just kidding a full-on throuple sort of daddy gang lauren was with me

during this entire excursion and when i not by choice for once yes no i basically looked at lauren i said listen get in get here out of here get Get in. We're going shopping, bitches. No, get in. We're going to get Alex a fucking boyfriend. Let's bring them all the way back to the morning of Monday. To your pure anxiety attack. It was glorious. Ah, woke up that morning saying, I officially about to change my relationship status and I'm shitting my fucking pants.

The whole day I was telling Lauren, you're going to come to the airport with me and lauren kept looking at me thinking like why why why why why do i need to be there you're like he doesn't he's not gonna want me there and i'm like no but i want you there daddy gang we woke up on that monday morning and i called mr sexy zoom man's assistant i'm gonna give you the whole breakdown of the fucking day because it is pretty fucking glorious i woke up and i called his assistant i said listen i know mr sexy zoo man has a nice driver picking him up a nice big bald burly man and then i want to come in looking like a goddamn dainty little flower so thin so fit so beautiful oh those fucking green juices whoa get me going i was ready i'm like i need to

fucking pick him up so i tell him i tell his assistant cancel the driver big owls coming to town and so i i'm like planning on showing up and i want to do the not the clap i want to do the sign and i want to do a sign like he's going to be looking for his driver he thinks i'm going to be at his house or my house we're going to be meeting up after and big owls coming through and I'm gonna show up with a sign that says fuck me right now Fuck me in the ass. Let's do it baby anal or not. No, no, I was wanted to get there and put his last name But I'll just say mr. Sexy zoom in so mr. Blah blah blah aka Under it I say my boyfriend let this bitch know I'm all in baby Okay, so I finally like Lauren it's time to go we get in the car I say my boyfriend. Let this bitch know I'm all in, baby. Okay.

So I finally like Lauren, it's time to go. We get in the car. Lauren still can't put the child looks on like, baby, you're not jumping out of here. We're in it. You're in it. Let's go. I continue to not want to be the runaway bride. Lauren was like, I didn't think you were actually serious. I'm like, get in the car.

I curated a whole new playlist, like boyfriend, girlfriend, vibe 101, getting you in the right mindset. So we start driving to the airport i'm so fucking nervous because i've never i've never done i wanted to go all out i've never done cute shit like this i've never been like officially making a grand gesture sign to be like hi i'm your fucking girlfriend and so there i am pulling up to lax and there i am like why the fuck am I here like I really hate you I'm like Lauren stay with me I need you to hold my hand in there so we get to LAX and I drag you out of the car I'm sweating I'm sweating bullets I'm uncomfortable I don't know what to say all of a

sudden I forget my last name I forget who he is we get there we go up to the part where the driver driver or the driver stand I'm standing next to all these men in tuxedos I am looking like this hot fucking piece of ass ready to get wiped up and I'm standing there and I'm standing there and a few times I look at Lauren like this is the sign stupid this is fucking stupid I'm second guessing everything I'm like this is so fucking stupid let's just go home let's call the driver switch it back like let's go I'm like you leave these doors I slash our tires you get in there I'm like shit we could we need this we need this so I'm standing there sweating under boob sweat pit sweat vag sweat nothing cute ass crack sweat you got that one i got swamp ass through and through and there he is makes eye contact with me and he just walks over to me picks me the fuck up i'll

spare you guys another audio erotica it was fucking hot and let me just say that swamp ass turned right to a different to a different type of wet baby and then there was just me in the corner wet and alone but wet and alone jerking it so creepy oh it was great it was a great moment i i i and i am really happy for you yeah as much as we're joking you were happy right just wet and happy just happy you weren't happy it was a great fucking moment it was cool to be like oh damn when i showed up it was dope to be like shit in that moment i knew damn i definitely made the right decision and he was like i cannot fucking believe you guys are here he's fucking pumped and we look at him and we say it's only getting better it's time to fucking rage so we're all go we're driving we're driving and lauren and i are like giddy and he's

like what the fuck could be happening like what is going on well little does he know but lauren and i explained to you what is going on and what this man is going to walk into i approached lauren and i said lauren i want to do something pretty extravagant weird weird I am weird and I like to do weird shit when I'm dating guys I think it's funny and it's just my humor and so he get he will get it I said to Lauren I want to throw him I want to throw him a baby shower themed party and I said we're gonna add a rave element so a baby shower rave I love how you didn't even like question me like that's weird you didn't even ask why you said beautiful but let's add the rave I want to DJ yeah we gotta take it up a notch so I'm like oh my god it's brilliant a baby shower

rave classic like a classic go-to nobody's gonna be confused walking into this party like what is the theme what's happening here so lauren and i like a few days before we get on amazon we go ham we go ham let's kind of like walk them through when you walk into this house this is what mr sexy zoo man walked into on his arrival back from london you walk in you immediately start coughing up a lung because you're walking through the densest fog from the fog machine we bought turbo mode turbo mode we got a fog machine then he steps onto the red carpet yes we got a fucking red carpet it's on his grass it's nice little lead up and then he you walk onto the red carpet we check his id yes check the id give him the wristband boom vip wristband and then we got the crowd control um dividers so you know because you know

it's gonna be popping off everyone's gonna hear about this and be the hottest baby shower rave in all of la and we have to keep we have to keep the people out this is a really exclusive big deal for you and like i want this to be intimate and private it's gonna be the biggest baby shower rave and we gotta keep it exclusive lauren that was beautifully said thank you so we got i got you if you guys don't know what a crowd control thing is it's like google it yeah google it the little red rope that they let the vips in so with the three people at the party we were seeing through the fucking um crowd controlled area and then we got five men silhouette paparazzi okay boom boom boom mr sexy zoo man and i we pose for the pic lauren runs over she takes the fucking picture oh my gosh who is that new hot couple oh my god the

new debut of mr sexy zoo man in that color daddy slot then you turn to your left you pan you see the pool and what is in the pool we have lights everywhere we have these pool ball things that we got oh strobe light yes oh our strobe lights yes we got two yes because if we're not seizing we're not doing it right we want to be so blackout seizing where it's a full rave we have sunglasses we have pacifiers see this is where it gets a little confusing and then you pan to your left and aside from like the dj booth that lauren is spinning that we got the it's a girl Yeah balloons oh Like we were so thoughtful For the small baby Shower details we have napkins

That say like it's a girl we had The pacifiers we had little streamers That say it's a girl I got some of these like Cubes that build up the word baby And then they're pink And so as you Can tell we have a full vlog coming out Of this and you guys will be able to visualize what we're talking About when I don't know as you can tell we have a full vlog coming out of this and you guys will be able to

visualize what we're talking about when i don't know why you can't visualize a baby shower rave though it's not really hard to visualize it's the most common go-to for a rave and most common go-to for a baby shower so daddy king um as you can tell we had a lot of fun with this lauren and i went above and beyond spent a shit ton of money and we were like let's fucking go all out and i again like i said i wanted to do this for him his face when he opened the fucking door got blasted by the smoke machine and stepped onto the red carpet he was like i don't even know what his expression was pure shock like one what did you do to my house but then two are you pregnant and then three this is fucking lit like it was all in one lady titty lady titty baby and i didn't even think about it like like pregnancy scare which lauren was like later on she was like that was a perfect little like your

last manipulation tactic all out the window does he run when he thinks you're pregnant right he loved it he's like really i'm like no so we basically guys we start we had the best fucking night we had too good of a night we did it was like one of those nights where one when the police come okay i was getting there lauren yes uh um as we were having an amazing time the cocktails are flowing the sexual energy is so high dude litty titty man has changed our entire show the vino's flown with the boys and mr sexy zoo man and i the sexual tension is crazy too because i feel like in that moment i don't know i was like oh my god i want to fuck because it's like he's now officially my boyfriend there's something hot

about it lauren's there she's getting wrapped into the sexual tension in the dj booth i'm blasting the music louder than i should have been. Her tits are out. I got the blowhorns going. And I think I overdid it a little bit trying to set the scene for you guys because we got a noise complaint and the police came on a Monday night. I want you guys to envision Lauren McMullen in the left corner as Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and I are in the hot tub. Lauren has these big headphones on and is fake spinning, no swishing beats. She just has her iPhone.

And she is pretending to DJ while like giving us like our little moment in the hot tub together. And all of a sudden the doorbell rings. Officially, I do. I'm like, don't worry. Tightest security here. I got it. I'll deny it. I'll handle this one.

Lauren leaves for two seconds, comes comes back and let's pretend his Name is like John she's like John mr. Sexy zoo man please come handle it you Were like what's going on Dedicating the um the police showed up Which now I I honestly in that moment Was like mr. Sexy zoo man now this is Two times in less than two months he's

Like you officially are going to cause me my job my home my reputation yeah but i was like it's totally fine baby i'm gonna fuck you later this is an outdoor party so i'm bumping us and like the neighbors are like oh ah oh like i love this but it's a monday it's a monday so you can't deny my beats are spinning dude lauren you're on one right now so lauren's on one and um mr sexy juman goes to the door and he basically the police say that we wanted to come check in because we got a few complaints that there was a party and you a rager a baby shower baby shower rager and we wanted to double check that you guys aren't breaking the um like what is it covid like the la like large gathering

restrictions like they basically thought we were having like a 50 person like That you guys aren't breaking the. Like what is it COVID. Like the LA large gathering restrictions. Like they basically thought. We were having like a 50 person like. To which Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. Had to uncomfortably say. You know what sir. To your surprise. There's actually.

Three people here. And I'm so sorry. About the disturbance. We will tone it down. I'll get that DJ in control. He was like. Oh wow there's three people in in there We said yeah there's three people in there And we'll tone it down He said totally fine

Totally fine thank you very much We look very perplexed Unsure of how three people Could be making that much noise As Mr. Sexy Zoo Man closes the door He realizes Mr. Sexy Zoo Man has a pacifier around his neck. He's like, what are these people doing in this house?

It was like a weird sex party. We were like, it was me and you. And he hired us for the night. So that was our night. It was amazing. And you guys will be able to see it fully on a vlog. We only posted a couple of things on social media that night Because we really want to fully give you the experience

We want to allow you to rave with us visuals included Yes on a YouTube video that will be coming soon But overall guys I can proudly say I successfully kicked off night one Being in a relationship with a bang no fights no crazy behavior only in the bedroom wink wink well big al i'm sorry to take you off your high horse but we got to get real for a little bit we got to bring it down yeah downtown we gotta go downtown because this wasn't easy for you and it was was, in fact, very hard for you.

And I think we need to explain to people why. And I think in order to do that and make that clear to people, we're going to have to take a little walk through your dating history. So. So. Alex Cooper has a boyfriend. Get used to that one, baby. It's crazy it's crazy but we need to unpack and dissect

why you had so much trouble committing to him and why you were so terrified and i think the first thing we need to immediately jump into is the effect the show has had on you and your dating life yes agree um that's something i have not specifically talked about on the show because there's no i felt like there was no room for that narrative it took i think in the beginning of the show there it was still growing so it was weird to address it in the middle of it like hey guys the show's gotten really big but now i feel comfortable enough and it would be weird if i avoid saying it like this podcast is one of the biggest podcasts in the world my life has changed forever in the most amazing way it gives me chills like every single

one listening to this podcast you've literally changed my life but naturally with that my dating life has significantly changed. No shit. You're no longer just Alex Cooper. You're the call her daddy girl. And I think it was hard navigating how not to let that person take over your relationships and not let that person drive and control your relationships. So the first thing that jumped to my mind was,

were you terrified to tell your audience that you have a boyfriend? Yes. Yeah. first thing that jumped to my mind was were you terrified to tell your audience that you have a boyfriend yes yeah I was gonna say yes and no yes because I think I am I am very well known as being this crazy girl that has all these creating crazy dating experiences she's never gonna get tied down like she's this is the this is the show um and at the genesis of this show it was genuine i was this crazy psychotic girl oh you were wild as fuck college high all the way back to high school like i've always been wild up until like a few months ago yeah yeah and so for over a hundred episodes i've been out of my fucking mind and i loved every second of it. And that's why it worked. That's why I think the show worked so well and got so big is because you can tell we were being genuine.

And I am being genuine. I think in the past few months, I've started to realize what's in front of me with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. And I started to have a little bit of both internal crisis of one, what do I want? And two, what's best for the show and I feel like I pride my like I love this job this this show is my life and so I'm not gonna lie to everyone listening like of course it ran through my head like are people not gonna love the narrative that i have a boyfriend are people going to think alex cooper went soft yeah is oh is everything she's ever said now goes to shit because now she's got a boyfriend how is it gonna be boring well i don't know i would say boring i'm like so the throat fuck

situation last week wasn't enough for you guys no but like you know what i'm saying yeah it was a bit terrifying like i'm like i've been so real with them since day one to the thought of telling you guys i had a boyfriend yes was scary initially the minute i opened up last week shitting my fucking pants telling you guys about this situation I was taken aback how unbelievable the daddy gang was and just being like bitch you gotta fucking go for this I didn't anticipate the feedback to be so geared towards go for it I was ready for bitches to be like oh Alex, Alex fucking Cooper. Don't fucking leave us, bitch. Like, what are you fucking doing? And I think maybe that's also because as much as I've grown. Sorry, I'm like going on a little rant here, but I'm realizing I didn't think about this until this moment.

I think as much as I've grown. Your audience has grown. Yeah. The daddy gang has grown with me. And so we've played the narrative. Alex Cooper, you all know I can walk into a room and i know how to manipulate and i can be a fuck girl and i can do xyz and i can give great head wherever the one thing i don't know how to really do is have a healthy relationship with a man and be

in a full committed relationship i think it'll be refreshing to see you telling people i don't have the answers anymore i don't know and you're on this journey with me right yeah let's go even deeper oh I think oh yeah I think the show at times and I think the show has been a security blanket for you and I think you know what I mean by that yeah I'm just coming to that realization this week I'm like yeah I know what you mean because I just figured it out last week the blanket and the whole like security blanket thing I think you I know what you mean because I just figured it out last week the blanket and the whole like security blanket thing I think you I know you mean that the show has made it easier in a way for me to have this like tangible out and fully embrace this sexual character and then

fully push away intimacy and a relationship I have you I have used the opportunity to push men away more because of the show but i have done this prior to the show but the show allowed me heightened version like a grand fucking scale and it was like the best fucking out i've ever had like i'm i did it to slim shady and door number three on a heightened scale. It was like, oh, I'm sorry. Like I can't right now. Like I've got the show. I've got to focus on my work, blah, blah, blah. And really, I think what it was is it was just a tangible excuse for me to use an out and allow me to not focus on the other reasons as to like, well, why aren't you emotionally committing to anyone? Not only emotionally committing, why aren't you at least allowing yourself to emotionally just be vulnerable with men and to everyone listening that's why I'm

trying to do this episode you're probably wondering like why the fuck do you have intimacy issues why do you have commitment issues like what happened what's wrong because usually something happened in your past or whatever to make you feel that way and all I can say right now is it's an ongoing journey and I'm still unpacking it. But through therapy, I've been able to realize that it's been very difficult for me to weave intimacy in others in a more emotionally connected way. After you just kind of sharing this internal struggle that you've been going through, I think it's about to come full circle. And let me put you in the hot seat for a second here we go oh let me ask the burning question okay why the fuck are you so obsessed with athletes what is it it's like it's so funny because even in college people like okay she's a full cleat chaser and i remember i had the so the first rightfully so right rightfully it It's like, Alex, relax.

Yeah. Relax. Like maybe pick up a doctor. That's all my Nana used to say to me. She's like, why not just pick a doctor? You see like a turf field and you're wet. Literally. Wet. Ice.

Wet. Anything cleats, skates, wet. Relax, bitches. I remember the first narrative before I got into therapy, I tried to equate, which still is a narrative that does hold true was surface level narrative surface let's start surface level yeah because that's all i am at first okay until i got into therapy basically i've i've talked about this before but i idealized these men from such a young age my dad worked in the nhl i grew up around these men so i

saw these guys as like the head honchos i'm sure girls that have doctors as dads you're like i want to date the brain surgeon well unfortunately i got the fucking idiots on the ice dad he screwed you over yeah but literally however daddy problems daddy problems um but that was but now we're in therapy now we go deeper so what's the deeper reason okay because of the way and again maybe in less than a year i'll really have cracked this code because i'm really starting to like re like search through my childhood and shit that i went through that would make me why i am this way but yeah to iterate to reiterate like that's a process like

you get into therapy and it takes like months years to like figure out like some of these answers you start remembering things that you forgot yeah and you're like oh fuck and your therapist is like yeah let's hone in on that so what did what did you learn i realized that through this whole theme of like wanting to be independent not have an emotional stake in the game not wanting to be vulnerable not wanting to be hurt when you think of any man on this planet who screams more emotionally unavailable but physically available than a fucking athlete i looked at these men and i was like that's it i'm not they're not emotionally going to be wanted invested i don't want to be emotionally in tide and this played perfectly into the theme that was my life so far

reject intimacy reject emotional vulnerability and lean into the sexual side of things the chase the game start having fun date these guys try to get them and and and lean into just playing the game instead of actually like getting hurt and being emotional and having an actual deep relationship and we can't even just gloss over that your first entanglement with an athlete was like a red socks player who had just won a super bowl like a red socks player that just won a super can you tell she doesn't give a fuck about sports can you tell that lauren doesn't like to fuck athletes and she's the one that's with the brain surgeon okay okay bottom line bottom line you haven't been exposed for the pot on this enough series oh dude that is the funniest fucking thing you've ever said lauren's like and then like he

won a super bowl from the red socks honestly i've never heard of it he is a fucking triathlete up in this bitch i understand what you're saying. Thank you. That's why I love you. It works so well. But he warped your perception of dating moving forward. He fucked you up. He fucked me up.

Winning that Super Bowl took me so far. I was like, I thought you were a baseball player. You're also on the Patriots. Holy shit. No, you're also on the patriots holy shit um no you're right he the whole red socks player thing was the crazy anonymous never seen it never seen it no his and my relationship was the craziest thing i unintentionally met this guy in a bar it just happened like i was there with my friend. I will never forget.

I was at Wes and Johnny's bar. Shout out people in Boston. I'm in the basement of Wes and Johnny's. There's Bruins players there. I'm like, whoa, what's happening? How do you like, do you have like a, find my football players? Fuck you Lauren, the Bruins, she's like football. Is it an app I don't have?

No, no, no. You could just tell, like you can just tell in the bar. Oh, okay tell okay got it you're right um and there he was and he walked up to me and ever since and ever since then it was like whoa and so i got in i love how you also use the word entanglement we're in this entanglement jada smith shout out um it changed my fucking life he was the biggest fuck boy he had just won a world series that year and prior i didn't give a fuck about baseball my dad didn't raise me watching i didn't either i remember it was actually pretty funny an anecdote i was sitting in my um it was my sophomore year or my freshman my sophomore year dorm and i called my parents like sophomore year i'm like

oh my god mom it's like the craziest thing like I there's like riots in Boston right now like this is so wild like it's so cool going to like school in a city and my mom was like Alex the Red Sox just won the World Series it's not a riot it's a fucking parade I was like oh my god oh my god because at the time I only give a fuck about hockey because my dad and then finally I was like oh open the world you were very narrow-minded totally narrow-minded I didn't know that there was a World Series. And so I probably at that point thought it was Super Bowl. So then I'm OK.

No, but when I look. No, but in all seriousness, when I look back on this man, this is the whole thing of going to Boston and being in college in Boston. My life was forever changed. Like my friends that went to Penn State, they're not going out to the bars and there's the Patriots the Bruins the Red Sox and whatever oh the Celtics I never come with basketball guys can you tell um so when I got to Boston immediately my sophomore year I'm fully dating a Red Sox player and I'm out of my fucking league I met this man he's 13 years older than me and was

the biggest fuck boy on the planet and i started to realize like this is so fun like this is again not that i'm saying i'm like a mental psycho like i was in college like i didn't want a full you were doing some really cool shit i was like pretty jealous like from tulane like it was fun you were like sending me pictures like sidelines like at the Red Sox game like going to like the locker room after I'm like I just had a sick frat party no and that's the thing I think I'm this is not me I don't want to come off like I'm bragging I'm genuinely saying I think any college girl that got dumped I would visit you and I'd be like oh my gosh it was dope yeah I got to bring all my friends we'd go to the games like it was a cool lifestyle and i think i kind of it kind of it was so random that it happened to me i was at a bar at the right time he came up to me and it was like whoa it was the first professional athlete i had

ever met in my life before in a romantic way and it like birthed the call her daddy mindset one thousand percent this man was the epitome of making fuck you money driving his fucking aston martin i'm in his penthouse after my fucking last class of the day before i go to practice like i was in shock and all i knew was i don't want to lose this and that birthed the mindset of i need to get my fucking game up and i do whatever it takes to keep this like whatever it takes and that kind of was if if it if it makes any sense now like it was intoxicating and exhausting and and heartbreaking at times i am so i'm not proud to say i'm i'm will be vulnerable of enough to say i was walked all over i was treated like shit i was so fucking out of my league and this man was the

epitome of the playboy he opened truly my eyes to some of the most psychotic intense games that were possible to be played in a relationship and I think having that be my first experience so young in college fucking with this dude that was way ahead of me in terms of like dating and girls and all this shit i after that spun the pain and the manipulation that i was at the hand of that i was at the hand of of this guy and i flipped what he had put on me to every athlete I then encountered after that. And it was working really well for a while. It was great. I was like, I know I was sad when I was with this dude, but my God, thank you.

Because it's like he like put me through a fucking training course. I know that sounds so funny. You went through like manipulation boot camp 101. I went through whatever the Red Sox are like doing over there. I went through their training camp and 101 i went through whatever the red socks are like doing over there i went through their training camp and i came out not not really alive but then i started meeting younger guys because imagine again this guy was 13 years older than me so then i started meeting younger athletes like oh you took the big leagues to the minor leagues no sweetie we never fuck with the minor but then i met like the big leagues the major leagues the major leagues

dude but then i met like a slim shady who was in his 20s he hadn't been in the fucking mlb for how many years this guy so then i was like oh this is working this is working but then but then but then i was doing this with many athletes and i don't mean like sodding after them like finding them and like no you had an app no i had a secret app i would follow the athletes around boston and track them and buzz them no i was like i can't i was doing this i had success and i was like dating around they were like all over boston fuck i gotta go to boston what's in the water there but then my life fucking took a screeching halt door number three walk through that door and put you in your place and sat you the fuck down turned my whole fucking life upside down yeah because I've never publicly said this or I've

never said this on the podcast door number three is a professional athlete I think the people might know they're fucking CIA out there everything every athlete I've ever met hooked up with dated has been exactly kind of what I thought they were going to be and then when I met door number three my entire life was like like I was like what what hold up buddy hold on what trying to introduce feelings here yeah it it was like door number three he did all the preliminary like classics of like, I'll get your flight and I'll fly you here and you'll go into the hotel and we'll meet. And then on top of that, he was way more than that. It was so different.

And it freaked me out because it opened a door that I had never opened or explored. Hence why he's called door number three. It was like a whole different dimension. And I think this whole emotion, like vulnerability, intimacy side of you that I had not explored or experienced. And I didn't know if I was even interested in it. I was. I don't think you were interested in it. Well, you're going to learn I wasn't.

But like it was shocking at first. And throwing you under the bus here, putting you on the spot. What's it throwing up? You're busting up your spot. I don't think that's the same. Busting up your spot. Bust it down, bitch. I'm blowing up your spot. Blowing up your spot. I'm blowing up your spot right don't think that's the same busting up your spot uh bust it down bitch um blowing up your spot i'm blowing up your spot right now yeah um so this is round one with

door number three how did round one with door number three end i fucked him over and left him for Slim Shady. Tell me more. Explain to me a little more detail. Um, oh, it like it makes me so fucking sad. This story. I met him my junior year of college. Everything was going great with door number three. I was kind of having a panic attack being like this guy is too good. Older than you. Older than me. So like wanting guy is too good older than you older than me

so like wanting to move a little faster than you not even pressuring me moving faster just like emotionally being way more advanced and deep and just being out there with his emotions being honest what a concept being honest and open I had met Slim Shady before door number three we had a quick little stint and it ended because he like lied about some shit and i was like okay i'm done with you met door number three we were like five six months into this relationship and now it's senior year of college and slim shady comes back into my life i was feeling stressed about door number three. He had told me he loved me. He was everything I could have imagined. And Slim Shady came back into the picture.

And this sounds so fucked up, but I'm just going to say it and then we'll unpack it. When Slim Shady came back, I ran right back to him and I left door number three. And I told door number three, I'm not ready for a relationship and a month later he had to see in the tabloids and on the internet that I was fully in a relationship with someone in the same in the same exact profession as him very publicly very publicly I chose to leave and run to slim shady because he was running he was he was surface level he was a liar he was a cheater he was in new york i was about to graduate college door number three wasn't in new york i wanted to move to new york slim shady was going to be in new york it was convenient it was perfect it was a social setting i immediately could jump right into it was easy convenient but also it was exactly what i was freaked out by door number

three slim shady didn't offer me the comfort and the security that door number three did it was all surface and i bolted right to it and now i'm unpacking this one because i can't blame the show for this one this was prior to the show with both of these men that i did this wow you called yourself out there yeah yeah i knew you were gonna go there i did this took the words right out of my mouth yeah i did i basically left door number three for slim shady and and that was just me at the time like that was alex cooper i saw intimacy turned right. And I don't love that. It really, in hindsight now when I look back, that's I think why I have such a hard time talking about it because I know how much I hurt such a good person

to then leave and go to such a toxic person. And door number three saw that too he's like what are you doing like what how like after everything like what are you what is going on and i had not the insight i have now i had no idea why i was running i was just freaked the fuck out and ran blindly running yeah and i still feel like that what I did to him, him having to see that publicly, me like it was like throwing it was there forever. You couldn't take that back. You couldn't he couldn't forget that. And I definitely think that like tainted and like fucked up our relationship. Moving forward forever. Yeah, forever. Like it was something that we couldn't

really come back from because I knew prior like later on he explained to me once we did have an open conversation like when he did come back into my life how like how i fully broke his heart and how much i fucked him up and that was the one of the hardest things i think because i can i'm gonna sit here and explain she's limp shady and that didn't hurt as much because like we were both fucking idiots and assholes to each other this was someone that was just like good ass person to me and I was just too young to see like how I should have handled that so much better so now Slim Shady when I got to New York and I was dating Slim Shady it got pretty fucking ugly on both sides it was like it was interesting because I felt for the first time in my life aside from the Red Sox player the Red Sox player I was

out of my league I wasn't even in a league then I was it was my first guy but when I met Slim Shady I had met my match with Slim Shady the detached not looking for feelings unemotional match and we had in the beginning the best time and you were there the whole thing was so fun for us we basically like had frequent flyer miles like at all the clubs in New York that's why we're so fucking good at raving that is why we know how to throw a goddamn baby shower right exactly we were at the clubs 24 7 raving and like that relationship i felt was such like a public party relation do you know what i mean it was also like an out for me i was working in new work i was having this crazy insane commute working really hard having trouble in my relationship at

the time this was back in 2017 so all you little fuckers in my dm saying i didn't give it a hard yeah you're everyone that's like lauren like did you even try did you this is 2017 she was having issues yeah i was trying that's a good little anecdote for yourself clear name yeah yeah yeah yeah but we were having the time of our lives we were partying it was fun but when you're playing with fire and the relationship is essentially built on nothing other than loving the look of each other. We loved walking into a room together. Slim Shady and I loved it. Everyone's like, oh, you're this little it couple together.

We loved how we felt walking into a room together. We didn't like how we felt being alone in a room together. That's terrifying. That's some deep shit that took me a really long time like i felt awful when i went through therapy figuring out like i liked him in i liked being with him in a group setting i didn't like being in a lone room with him that's some dark fucking shit and the breakup and the blow up there was even darker that's for the book because that is that would take us 19 hours to unpack what happened in that

situation but like i said i think when you're playing with fire and the relationship is built on nothing you're gonna get burned and we both got burned both of us it was so public his agents were involved your family was involved his family was involved twitter was involved. His family was involved. Twitter was involved. It was so lethal at that point that he, like, I at that point was obsessed with winning a prize that I didn't even want. I was like, I wanted to beat him at his own game. Like, who can be, it really became, you watched it, who can be the bigger piece of shit to each other? Yeah.

He tweeted your breakup. Tweeted my breakup. He did not tweet my breakup. His agent tweeted my breakup. Remember not tweet my breakup his agent tweeted my breakup remember i told you oh because he doesn't have the password to his own account because that's another story his agent went tweeted our breakup and i remember in that moment they dragged my fucking name through the mud and in that moment I remember feeling like I had no platform at the time I couldn't speak out against this person and this agent at this agency who I need to send him flowers

now because I wouldn't be where I am today had I not gone through this relationship but like this agent took advantage of his client's platform goes on tweets our breakup to make it even official we hadn't even fully broken up yet his agent goes ahead makes it official and i remember in that moment honestly not that i started call her daddy out of like um vengeance vengeance but i'm not gonna lie it set a fucking fire under my ass seeing a man with power and money be able to do something like that and i had no platform to speak out on no one's gonna believe the fucking little professional athlete's girlfriend oh yeah like it's probably

the exact like he's probably the one in the right and i remember little did that motherfucker know i was about to rise from the fucking ashes and start a show called call her daddy and i was gonna be able to speak my fucking mind about what happened not even about what happened just like talk about my own fucking life and have my own platform and i remember do you already know what i'm going to say i know exactly what you're going with this we had a round two slim shady and i got sort of back together for a quick little spurt we'll go there in a second yeah and his agent what a fucking vindicating feeling when his agent he told me that his agent said please do not get back involved with this girl and if you do we cannot get in any like um public issues with her because her fans scare me

daddy gang daddy gang when i heard that i was like fuck right the daddy gang is fucking terrifying those are my children literally if you come for this fucking family, we will eat you alive. And I remember because something happened on the Internet. I think like the New York Post thought we were dating again and his agent was going to tweet from his account like denying it. And I was like, I just want to be very clear. If you deny that we're seeing each other again, I will also have to make a public statement. And that is when he told his agent.

Oh she'll make a public statement. If you tweet from my account. And in that moment he said fuck no. We're just going to go silent. Radio silent on this one. Because I do not want to get into war with her fucking fans. I said welcome to the daddy game bitch. If you date me.

You date all of us baby. And that was like a pretty good feeling. But it was also. I'm going to bring you down a little bit. I think you're getting a little adrenaline rush from your daddy game. Because they're so aggressive and it's like, I love it. Like that's who we are. Like we're like, don't fuck with us.

So. Love you guys. It ended so fucking badly. Awful. Like as your friend and like knowing like everything that happened then, like it was really hard knowing like what place you were in, like what you were going through that time. So what made you go in like what you were going through that time so what made you go

back for round two because at this point it's three years later and i had no idea why the fuck we were putting our boots back on or strapping our helmets and marching back into battle and i was ready to follow you but honestly i did not know why i remember calling you and be like hey lair i got some news sweetie and you're like oh god i'm like so slim slim's back slim jim is coming into the picture and i think i'm going to give this another go and you were just the most supportive friend like kind of like why the fuck are we doing this at least i thank god i knew your therapist was involved this time yeah yeah so you're like okay and that is a huge part i'm about to explain to you because I remember being like I know this

sounds crazy but I'm such a different person we're going back into battle so after we had both burned each other after we had this crazy tumultuous ending of a relationship three years later why did i decide to go back through therapy i've realized there's two reasons give me your give me your two-pronged response two-pronged response i talked to her like i'm like grading an essay like let me break it down for you let's see what i can get on this test okay the two points are number one when I started call her daddy I realized a theme and it was that I started to kind of run back to all my old things I was going back to all the men that I was comfortable with that I was familiar with because I didn't I've never really talked about this. Here we go. I, I didn't like meeting men for this first time as the call her daddy girl. Was it, was it like an expectation thing? Like a sexual thing?

It was yes and no. I think it was just as strange as it sounds. Like I'm, yeah, I think the expectations, like I'm showing up and they're like staring at me like, am I going to get the gluck gluck tonight? Like remember my first. Oh, I was just just gonna say like that little spurt of like awful dates you had the first one within like an hour of being with this guy he starts word vomiting and he goes well my friend said if i have to do one thing tonight i have to fuck her i'm like hi sir um i haven't finished my first vodka tonic as someone like recently embarking on first

dates like shocking well i don't know what i would say then how jarring if someone looks and i just remember being like yo like what well no and then it got worse then you met up with a guy who was like well actually i'm engaged but i wanted to meet up to see if you were worth leaving my fiance of six six years for disgusting like in that moment as you can imagine daddy gang it was it was jarring and instances like that continued to occur that it made me feel like I just kind of want to go back to the guys that I was in relationships with before the show and understandably yeah and and this changed as i've gotten more comfortable with like my the change in lifestyle and the show and everything now it's gotten way easier for me to fully embrace that but in the very beginning of call your daddy i was like

a little bambi on stilts i was like whoa like me when i drink alcohol and he'll yes just like you lauren just like the video on the internet of you falling into the cliff like it was pretty crazy and so number one i think yeah i think going back to him was comfort and familiarity even though it was toxic like i knew we knew each other he knew me and and that was that and then two i think closure like a sense of hope maybe that like like around two like things will be different this time not even hope i think like when there's something about when you have such a crazy toxic relationship and it ended the way it did with us we kind of both didn't even have the final say it was like agents like closure like there was absolutely no closure like we didn't there was no closure and i think a lot of times you go back to it like that's just what it is. And I went back and it's as complicated as it is.

It was intense. Our relationship was very intense and I was a different person. And so I wanted to go back and see I have my own show now. I now have my own money, my own platform. Like maybe now you're coming in is like more equals. Yeah. Before it was he had the status he had the money right and so i think in my mind maybe i just thought like maybe i'll go back

into it now that we're equals we can just focus on like is there a real connection here did we really maybe love each other through all the psychotic drama but we couldn't see it because of how toxic it got and how many people got involved in our relationship maybe now we know there's not going to be other people involved like agents and all that shit because like no one can manhandle me now no one can pay me off with a check like now it's like i'm my own human you're your own human and we tried to keep it private and see what we could do with it and i think that was the best thing we did. We went into it fully keeping our entire relationship private.

And then it was kind of sad. What did you realize? I realized that it's kind of the cliche. I realized I had fully grown. I had gotten into therapy. I had started to make waves of like why I am the way I am and kind of like I don't want this anymore I don't want to be toxic and I realized through a few months like he hadn't changed at all he was the exact same person that I had dated three years prior and that for me again working in therapy i didn't even blame him

my needs have just changed i remember that that second time it was once you had that like realization it was so easy for you to walk away right yeah i will never forget i was sitting on my back porch with my mom he like made up some lie to like why we couldn't hang out and I like kind of laughed a little and was like oh my god so classic like and I used to be so addicted and then I would come up with a way to manipulate to then go see him blah blah and I was like I'm out I finally started to prioritize my wants and my needs and he was so far from that now yeah the games got exhausting the disingenuous relationship the lies the compulsive lying i was like oh my god i know he's lying right now and i used to be so into it like oh and guess what bitch you're gonna see me doing blah blah i was like oh my god bye i don't even think you haven't said anything i think you just

i never answered i never responded he came up with this whole lie he sent me this really long text and i just never answered i didn't even have my red receipts on like nothing petty and he knows he knows me so well now that he's like oh fuck she just bye and he called me and then i just never answered so i think it's very clear that the slim shady chapter is officially closed and you've grown up and you've moved on and that's not what you're looking for in a partner in a relationship anymore and you are starting to open up to this emotional intimate side of you so now that you're ready for this why no door number three i know he's definitely a fan favorite and it kind of it broke my heart because i saw so many people like holy shit i thought she was gonna end up with

door number three door number three this is what i'll say about my relationship with door number he will always have such a special place in my heart because I was so in love with him he was so in love with me and it was the most genuine relationship I'd ever had in my life at that point six years and he was there that man was there for me through so much fucking shit in my life you saw a lot of it in the 301 yeah with like the birth of call her daddy right a whole process when when the show started there was so much that was happening behind the scenes that like i was severely depressed like a wreck and he was there for me every single night while trying to maintain his own career and i think in that specific moment i'm getting chills because i don't want to go into it because we're not trying we're not talking our shit

on this podcast the point is during that call her daddy 301 days that was the first time i really realized like this man loves me more than anything he is putting me before himself right now like selfless love that's the exact word yes that is like perfect to describe it he was fully putting his own career second to helping me figure out what the fuck i was gonna do with my mental health to pull you through this dark time yes and i think when i saw that it was like he got me through so much shit and and i think it was sad because once he realized like i had told my mom about what was going on i finally got into therapy he kind of was like i love you so

much and i'm so happy i got i was able to help you but like alex i love you like i gotta go focus on my shit i gotta go get my career in order like i love you you know i'm always here for you but like i gotta go and so for a while we kind of ended and then we started talking again towards the end of quarantine and then i met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man. And then I think within like a few months after meeting Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, you knew that you had to completely cut things off with door number three. Can you tell everyone like a little bit

about that conversation? It was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had to have. Daddy, this man has been in my life for six years. And in every single relationship I've ever had, he's always kind of still been in the relationship. Because I always looked at him and I'm like, oh, it's him. Like, even when I was dating Slim Shady, I still was kind of talking to door number three. we had this like bond that it was him of course like I'm not it doesn't count like I can all because he's still he's like my best friend before a lover sometimes and so I kept talking to him and when I met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man Mr. Sexy Zoo Man swept me off my fucking feet and as the relationship progressed I realized I fully can see myself

falling in love with this man I can't do this to him I don't want to start this relationship with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man how I've started every other relationship which is keeping door number three in the picture it's not fair to him and it's not fair to me if I want a clear chance of actually going into this fully giving my all fully being honest genuine being present in the moment I have to cut door number three off and I know a lot of people that are fan favorite is door number three I know a lot of you are like but why not him and that's taken me a while to realize like why not him and I think it's so crazy because I was talking to my mom about it before I recorded this and there was something with us that we kept I don't even know how to explain it other than we kept hitting this like ceiling like it and I don't know that won't make sense to you guys and I know

it doesn't have to make sense to you guys fully but basically it was like every time I was ready then he wasn't ready and then when I was ready or then when he was ready I wasn't ready and then we kept doing this dance of like we'll always be in each other's lives but relationship wise we kept each being like it's not the right time and it kept not being the right time until I realized like I don't think there's ever gonna be a right time and then that was that feeling was even heightened the minute that I met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man I knew it was the right time and that was amazing but also hard because I think that kind of gave me a lot of perspective and opened my eyes to my relationship with door number three like oh fuck why has it never been

the right time when I met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man I woke up for a minute and was like I think I was holding on to the memory of what door number three and I had when I was in college and I think your mom has made a very very beautiful point on like what door number three will mean to you going forward in your life. Oh my God. My mom, I think she's helped me so much wrap my head around. Well, my mom was always such a big, like she always says like, there's not just, we're not in love once. Like you're not, there's not just the one person like that.

That just, that's not realistic to just have one. And so I think what she said to me to make me feel better is like door number three will always be the standard to which I judge all other relationships. He is such a solid person and the way he loved me, that is the standard of how i want to feel and also i want to treat this the person i'm in a relationship with the same moving forward and i think but unfortunately with door number three like i think looking back upon that relationship in relationships in general you replay your unmet needs and like really looking at this relationship you weren't meeting all of your needs and you immediately felt that way when you met mr sexy zoom man dude i didn't

even know emotionally fully what i was what you were where you were capable of going yeah like door number three started that journey for me but mr sexy zoom man fucking catapulted it literally not only elevate yeah not elevated catapulted it and i was like holy fucking shit and he was on a different he is on a different level that i had no denying like whoa he's even set the bar for me and my future relationships i'm like wow i want all of that and now yeah yeah i know that i joke that like i'm like i'll take him i'll take him if you don't want him but like he he is a special he's a he's a rare breed he is and that is where i've come through therapy to realize door number three was amazing and i will never regret anything but what I do know is I wouldn't

be able to accept Mr. Sexy Zoo Man had I not met door number three I think just overall like the evolution of you and the evolution of your relationships and how you got here is just so interesting and shows so much growth and I don't think you should judge or anyone should judge the person that you were two three five years ago and and every relationship that you've had has led you to be able to be here and accept this relationship I appreciate you saying that that's some deep shit I definitely have been working on that in therapy with like not for a while I felt like a piece of shit coming out of that slim shady relationship I was like am I a surface level bitch like what am I doing like am I toxic like what's wrong with me and my therapist is like had you not gone through that you wouldn't have seen door number three through for who he

was then if you had not gone in and done what you did with door number three and really tried and really put yourself out there and finally went back again I went back to both of these men over six years like five fucking times and learned about both of them because they were the complete opposite and finally really realized through both of those relationships what i want and the minute i met mr sexy zoom man all of the struggle all of the hurt all of the drama the toxic all of it really just got me to be like, grow and be able to sit here and be like, and recognize and see Mr. Sexy zoom in for like everything he's worth. I would have run away from that man just like I did door number three, like six years ago, but I'm not running now. I'm fully embracing it. And I think everyone listening, daddy gang, whether you see yourself as an Alex or

Lauren, the point I'm taking from all this and i'll give you a little bit of my therapy here if you don't go through all of this shit you can't actualize what you want what you're doing some people's journeys may be two or three relationships like me i went through quite a few assholes but you have to have some type of journey so you can have some type of comparison so you can have some type of comparison so you can have some type of compass of like where the fuck you want this shit to go just perspective it literally it's like lauren how how would you have known what you want had you not ended that relationship you had no comparison i dated multiple people to realize that none of them were exactly what i needed to commit

to a relationship that's how i figured out, Oh, Mr. Sexy Zoo man, here he is. Lauren, you did the opposite. I committed. Yeah, I committed. And I stayed in a relationship for years and tried to work through all these things within the relationship for a few years before walking away. And now I'm doing the introspective work on myself. Basically, it's like you can cut. Yeah, you can come at it either way. You can get into a relationship, you can date whatever it is. But the point is that you have to be open to self-introspection and that's what we've kind of both been doing you're now getting on a new journey you're a little bit ahead of me right now i am but like we'll see because like alex cooper in a relationship this is gonna be a fucking journey but we're here and i'm fucking excited and i'm so happy i got to open up to you guys

and i feel like we just went on a journey on this couch like right you're my best friend and i feel like i know you better after this episode on the podcast i feel like i know myself better now i straight up like i it's so crazy cathartic literally all i can fucking say is get into fucking therapy because none of this would be fucking happening if i wasn't in therapy lauren's getting into therapy when tomorrow lauren's like i am fully signing up for therapy tomorrow it's it's one hell of a fucking drug i'm addicted now i'm like holy shit i want to know everything daddy gang we love you you There is There is

Questions too Questions too Ask me all your questions Ask me all your questions I'll answer you I'll answer you Daddy gang Motherfuckers

It's questions of the motherfucking white bible I'm back baby I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I had to fucking do it Actually I'm not fucking sorry I just blessed your fucking ears

If you guys watch my vlogs I had a stint this past week Where I was giving a little joking singing And the people told me what they wanted to hear And it's no longer me podcasting And it's no longer seeing me on youtube the people want an album and so i had to take my opportunity to show you my strengths show me my fucking skills and show me these chords in these fucking throat i can suck dick but i can also fucking belt out a motherfucking two questions it's eddie and we're fucking back let's go hi alex like you i chose

to be toxic this year for some backstory i have been talking to this guy i met at a bar exclusively for three months now i had this weird feeling that i should download tinder to find out if he was using it to my surprise i found him on tinder he told me that his friend uses his tinder to find out if he was using it to my surprise i found him on tinder he told me that his friend uses his tinder to joke around with girls this was an obvious lie but i let it go because he wasn't technically my boyfriend about two weeks ago he drunkenly asked if i think he's a good boyfriend to me to which i replied i didn't know he was my boyfriend okay like the whole way you're playing this so far this is great he got very upset and started calling me his girlfriend after that he has treated me really well these past three months and comes to all my family holidays

this made me feel like we were much more serious I again downloaded tinder to see if he was still swiping. He was. This caused me to download Hinge and Bumble, of course. And of course, I found him on those apps as well. How should I approach talking to him about this? Is it best to just drop him entirely or try to work through it? Okay, well, from experience, I've actually had a guy similar to a situation like this do this to me and i think if before you start dating and he's doing this shit and he's lying to you and then he pressures you and he's like but you're my girlfriend now i've had a guy literally do that

to me he's going to continue to do this through your relationship and he's just being selfish and wants to lock you down but wants to keep his other side life going so if i was you if you want to fuck with him i think you should either one match with him what are you doing when you see his picture or i would literally match with him and slide in and be like hi what are you doing tonight do you want to hang out what are you up to he's gonna be like fuck and then if he tries to explain himself be like wait i don't know why are you freaking out i'm on the app too obviously it's not just you i found you i'm on tinder too we're both on i thought that we were like in an open relationship i don't understand why you're acting weird it's totally fine and act like so chill about it like who gives a fuck and then literally

rewire your brain and just have an open relationship if you want to like keep him in your life if he's got like good dick or you could go a little bit more petty and when you're hanging out next time just be on the couch and like he'll obviously see your phone and just start swiping start swiping on bumble start messaging dudes and if he's like what are you doing be like what oh you want me to pay attention to the tv show and he's like no you're on a dating app and be like wait what what happened i don't understand what and he's like why are you on bumble and you're gonna be like because I am and so are you what's the issue why are you acting all weird but this is the thing as I've gotten older and I wouldn't say I wouldn't

say healthy but this is my advice specifically for this because I've dealt with this so many times in these kind of situations you can keep doing that and you can keep making him be like no I'll delete it right now I'm gonna delete my tinder but you better delete your bumble at the end of the day he's gonna keep being on those dating apps every single time he realizes oh my god she's also playing the game like okay fine fine fine I'm getting off the dating app no he's just doing it to quickly get you back into his control so you get off the dating apps and then he's going to go back on fucking Tinder bumble. This is, this is the type of toxic shit with a dude that I would just either dump him and leave him or be fully aware of what's happening. And you need to also, you need to reprogram your brain

that you're in an open relationship and you should to start matching with people and hang out with other people hey father love you and the podcast so recently i have been listening to your podcast and you mentioned how you don't sleep or fuck guys until around the sixth date so i'm a freshman in college in boston Oh, shout out. And like dates aren't really a thing with college boys and parties are scarce with COVID. I've met a couple guys and fucked them on night one. How do I hold out? Like make them interested, not fuck them ASAP. So I'm not easy to get. And so the first time they don't just get what they want and then leave. I know that obvious answer is just like, just literally don't fuck them I don't understand how that's that hard but I get what you're saying like in social settings in college especially I

mean I can't even imagine in COVID right now daddies but like there's something about the college culture that girls feel like they need to if you're alone in a room and you start hooking up with a guy you're like well I guess like I would have sex with him I should I guess I should have sex with him number one if you want to fuck fuck but if you're feeling like damn like I really want to start playing the game harder and like I want to use holding out sex as a tool in my dating game because that was what I was doing it's not like I was holding out sex I've said it in the past for like religious reasons i liked having the power of holding out sex and using it to not manipulate men it was just more like it allowed me to control the situation tenfold like the guy was just at my mercy basically and

like i was the one calling the shots i think my advice would just be have them over and hang out and flirt with them, but do not fuck them. It's like you have to get the mentality going into it. If you don't fuck them, it's not like he's not coming back. If anything, it's going to make him come back more. It's not like he got what he wanted. He didn't get what he wanted, but yet you're being flirty and you're being, it's one thing if you're a fuckingirty and you're being, it's one thing if you're a fucking bitch and you don't fuck him, then he's like, all right, I'm going to go try my chances with some other bitch. You're being flirty.

Touch his chest. Make out with him. Let him fucking finger you. Give him a goddamn blow job if you want to fucking knock his socks off on like the third date. But then every time he goes to have sex or he, then when he tries to have sex, just be like, just do a little giggle cute like kind of push away and be like no like i don't know you like that yet and then like go

back in for the makeout and just keep it fun and just be like no i don't think so like not yet and then he is going to want it like fucking candy like oh fuck and then he's gonna leave there and this is the thing i think a lot of girls are like fuck if i don't fuck him then he's going to leave there. And this is the thing. I think a lot of girls are like, fuck, if I don't fuck him, then he is going to go find another bitch. Okay. So then he's going to go find another girl and he's going to fuck her. And then he's going to have already fucked her. And then you're still going to be the girl that he hasn't fucked yet that flirts with him and is like engaging with him. That is the fucking hottest. That's like the funnest stage. I remember in college loving it. And I think I got off on it too much, but like, that's the funnest stage i remember in college loving it and i think i got off on it too much but like that's the funnest part when you haven't fucked them fully yet and they're so

obsessed with you and your personality and you're flirting and you're like don't be a full tease like it's coming it's not like you're never gonna fuck him but you hold the keys to the fucking kingdom aka your pussy for a little bit make that shit make him wait because like i've said then you emotionally start to have to connect a little bit and then it's so much sweeter when then you do fuck and then he starts to be like oh fuck i fuck with this girl as opposed to if you fuck the first night totally fine but there isn't as much of a build-up emotionally so it's more just physical which again if that's what you want totally fine but i liked having a little bit of an emotional tie and these guys being emotionally invested like fuck i like you want this guy to go back to his friends and be like

holy fuck i want to fuck her like she's so fucking hot like we we were hooking up and like she was grabbing my shirt but like she just like she didn't fuck me yet just remember pretend i'm staring at you in the corner of the room and if you fuck him on the first night if you don't want to why what's the pressure it's not like he you fuck him on the first night if you don't want to why what's the pressure it's not like he's pressuring you you're putting the you're mentally putting the pressure on yourself go into that night and don't don't fucking shave your vagina how about that that's what i used to always do keep your fucking pants on keep it in your fucking pants and that way you won't fuck him and remember as hard as it is in

the moment the long game is so much fucking more worth it the minute you don't fuck him you will he will leave and you will literally be in the best fucking mood like damn i just played that so right we made out he thinks i'm fucking hot it was great hang i kicked him out and now this little bitch is going to be coming back for more. Boom. Okay. Hi, daddy. This isn't really a question, more of a crazy story. So last year I had this boyfriend and we broke up quite amicably. We didn't want to be together anymore. And it took me a really long time to get there because I had to make sure if I had any feelings for him anymore, was I sure I wanted to end it? But I was. So flash forward to almost a year later and I am told by a mutual friend that his dad

died. Now, I haven't spoken to him since the breakup, but I decided to reach out and tell him how sorry I was about his dad's passing. We had a short conversation, made a few jokes, and it was over. Not a big deal right apparently to his new girlfriend it was my best friend who is also sort of acquaintances with my ex-boyfriend also reached out to him when he when we found out about his dad's death and then later he called her and was like i'm going to change your name in my phone. I know we don't talk, but I want to keep

you in my phone for emergencies if you ever need me. But I'm changing your number because my girlfriend is crazy and has been screaming at me. So naturally, my best friend called me and told me. But in addition to the new girl being crazy about my best friend messaging him, apparently, while we were all home for the holidays the girlfriend got suspicious of my ex being with me keep in mind i have absolutely no interest in him whatsoever anymore and this girl drove by my house on several occasions to check and see if he was there first of all i don't even know how she knows where I live. And second, I don't know why she's like this. She also went and bought deer pee.

It's a hunting thing in the South. I don't even know. And was going to put it on my car. But by then I was gone. And instead she put it on some other girl's car. What? This will attract deer and that's very dangerous because it could honestly cause the

girl to hit a deer while driving. They are in a long distance relationship and I don't know why he's with that crazy bitch, but on the bright side, this just means he probably appreciated me way more. I know men love the crazy Alex, but sometimes there's too much crazy. And I think this is one of those times. P.S. If I find out this crazy girl drives past my house again while my family is there, I'm going to fuck my ex-boyfriend just to spite her. I will always out crazy the crazy. I love you, daddy. Have a great rest of your day. Oh my God. I love you too. Have such an amazing day, sweetheart. Here's my initial thought. And maybe this is going to piss you off, but I don't think it will.

Other than the deer thing, because that's fucking batshit, this bitch isn't crazy. She's insecure. Screaming at him for answering his ex-girlfriend and the ex-girlfriend's friend in sending condolences regarding the death of his father. She's insecure. Like there's a huge difference. And I think that sometimes is what people forget. It's like insecurity and crazy are two fucking different things. If this bitch was actually just crazy and so fucking confident.

If she found out that you guys were potentially hanging out while you guys were home for the holidays and she's long distance she would have gone with her best friend to a hangout that her ex was at and she would have had her best friend post a snapchat story just kind of like casually like showing the little party aka her on the couch with her ex and post it on her story so that her boyfriend then sees it and can't call her out because what he's hanging out with you she can't go hang out with her ex-boyfriend he's hanging out with his ex-girlfriend you know what i mean like that's the crazy the crazy is being so good at manipulating that you don't even have to say anything you just

move so that the person that you're in the relationship with all of a sudden is reacting because you're moving so calculated this girl being like how the fuck are you you're so fucking out of line for talking to your ex and fuck you and fuck this no that's just an insecure ass bitch and no men fucking hate that girls the more that you bitch to your dude because you're insecure, that sends anyone out the room. Same with guys. If a dude is fucking bitching at me because I'm at a bar and I'm talking to a guy that's like hooking up with my friend and he's like, yeah, but still you're like, ew, disgusting.

But if he's crazy, then he'll just go talk to another girl. Like there's a huge difference. But I think, listen, the deer shit is fucking bat shit. That is crazy. And also just really inappropriately scary. Like why does she want people to get hit by a deer and die? Like that's, that's the crazy, but, um, but like great story. And, and sorry, you're dealing with that. Ooh, this is, Oh, I love this one. Okay. Hi, Father Cooper. I started this new year newly single and I plan on daddying my way through it. It has been so much fun working on my roster after being in a stagnant relationship for a few years. Several of these men that I am

talking to live far away enough that I would have to fly to see them. I was wondering what kind of pajamas do you usually wear when first meeting a guy that you've been talking to? And what should I do about the fact that I'm a soft seven with makeup and a hard four in the morning without any? Do you do your full skincare routine at night or do you leave a little mascara, concealer and lip gloss on when you go to bed? Also, do you have any tricks for flying i.e smelling looking and dressing like you didn't just fly for nine hours in economy and when you're staying with these men do you do your full getting ready routine with makeup blow dry style etc you're so resilient and an inspiration with what you've managed to accomplish and bounce back from i love

i'm loving the single father era thank you oh my god daddy gang okay this is like my favorite fucking question let us let me get cozy and comfy so I can really deep dive because for a majority of my life I feel like this has been what I have really really come to conquer here's my first bit of advice the pajama situation I usually will bring like a little cute t-shirt and then I wear a thong to bed even if you haven't fucked this guy yet I remember the first night that I ever met door number three I he flew me out I got to the hotel room we had never fucked we had never met and I just was I remember like I think I made some type of cute comment like um do you mind if I like sleep with my pants off like something like cute and funny and he was like no like I sleep naked and I'm like oh fuck let's go so I just put on like a cute little thong

and then a little t-shirt or if you don't have a t-shirt then the neck or like the next night then usually like you'll just take one of their t-shirts or if you do fuck then just put your thong back on and then ask him if you can like borrow one of his t-shirts but I wouldn't go I don't I personally maybe I'm a little bit more of like a tomboy like I personally don't usually pull out like a cute little matching set I wish I did sometimes but like I also sometimes think it's hotter if I'm just wearing like a t-shirt like. I wish I did sometimes, but like, I also sometimes think it's hotter if I'm just wearing like a t-shirt and like fuzzy socks and a thong. Then next, your next question is what are you doing with the whole makeup situation going to bed? Okay. So in college, I went through a spurt of time where my skin, I was breaking the fuck out and I'm

hooking up with these guys that are flying me to different states and I'm staying in a hotel room with them and I was super insecure. I'm like, fuck, like I'm breaking out. Like I have a fucking pimple. I can't go wash my face and be like clean, clear, like let's go to bed and like put my fucking night cream under my eyes. Like fuck no. He's going to see like my red breakouts. Like that's not fucking cute. I just showed up here looking like a fucking 10 and then I'm going to take it off be like wow what a sad two so what I usually would do is one if I was breaking out with a guy usually which it's so annoying because then it ends up making your skin worse but I would do two one of two things I would either one just kind of lightly go into the bathroom and take my makeup off and then lightly put a little

concealer on those places and go to bed with that or if I was able to like the lights are off we're going to bed and be like oh shit I forgot to wash my face then I run into the bathroom so the lights are off he's in bed he can't see shit wash your face get into bed with him and then I would always keep a little makeup in the bathroom somewhere so then in the morning you can get up before he's like staring you in the face and you can quickly go put like a little bit of concealer on your breakouts if you're breaking out however when I wasn't breaking out and my skin was good I would usually just completely wash my face I would just take a makeup wipe take all of my face makeup off because that shit looks fucking ratchet in the morning let's be honest if you sleep all night all fucking night

with it all of a sudden i have like a couple tiger streak marks on the side of my face like bitch stop like bitch that's not fucking cute um so what i would do if i had good skin is i would take a makeup wipe wipe all my face makeup off but then I would keep like eyebrows maybe like don't fully take off all the eyebrow pencil and then um if you have lashes on you're good but if you don't have lashes then just do mascara so basically mascara eyebrows and then just like chapstick and usually either you put a little makeup bag in the bathroom or if it's like if you're like so awkward because your makeup bag is like huge, literally put your little concealer or powder or bronzer or whatever the fuck you're going to quickly like put a little bit of on.

Put it here. She comes. Put it in a sock. OK, I know it sounds crazy, but put it in a sock. Put it next to your side of the bed and then when you get up in the morning quickly pick up the sock and walk into the bathroom and put your fucking face on bitch okay but here we go sorry this is like a long answer I hope girls don't hate that I'm I know girls will like this men are gonna hate this so that's number one two I usually will lightly do a loose braid in my hair before I go to bed so I don't wake up and it's like fucking psychotic where I'm like, how do I even put a brush through this? For the flight, usually when I'm flying, I will wear really comfortable underwear like

boy shorts, no fucking thong, obviously. And then you got to let that vag breathe. Then I wear sweatpants. The minute I land and I get to the airport, I'll go into the bathroom, change, put on my thong, put on my leggings, do some deodorant, etc. And then here's the last part of your answer. Sorry, this is long winded, but I hope I'm helping any girls. When you need to shower and you're staying in a hotel room with a guy for the weekend,

I try to wash my hair right before I get onto this. I get there. And so that way I can almost last a good amount of the weekend with my hair done and I don't have to wash it. That way you go in the shower, you wash your body. And when I was breaking out really bad, here you go. I would keep the shower shower running get out of the shower and start lightly doing my face makeup okay men are gonna be like stop um and if girls are like you're that's so ridiculous shut the fuck up okay I didn't have nice skin my whole life and like I sympathize with girls that have breakouts like that shit literally makes you so insecure and it was such an insecurity of mine for so long.

And I never wanted a guy to see me without just like a little bit of concealer or foundation on. It makes the biggest difference. So anyways, I would quickly put on a light layer of foundation on my face, turn the shower off, put my hair down with like no mascara. So it kind of just like looks like you've no makeup on, but like he wouldn't fucking notice. Then I opened the door and I say, hi, sweetheart. And you're just like, hi, like what's up? And then as you're both getting ready, you make a comment like, oh my God, I need to put some makeup on. I look so bad. And then you're

halfway done your fucking beaten face and you just have to fuck. You have to put on some mascara, lip gloss, boom, you're fucking done. It's so sad what girls have to go on some mascara lip gloss boom you're fucking done it's so sad what girls have to go through it's like literally fucking psychotic the thing that also was nice for me was like when i was fucking when i was hooking up with these athletes they would leave in the morning so like i once they left they were coming back in a few hours from practice or a game i got to shower i let it all out i'm exfoliating my fucking pimples i'm fucking putting my self tanner on like i am living by the time he gets back i smell beautiful but then if i would go on vacation with these dudes i was so used to every single day like

clockwork them leaving the fucking hotel room and having a nice little spa moment to be ugly take off my makeup like really lean in and then they would then we would go on vacation together and I'm like wait you're not going to practice you don't have a game how the fuck am I supposed to like fully shower and like do my thing and then I think as I got older and just like more secure with myself and honestly my skin cleared up and I got more secure yeah secure I guess would be the word and just like self-confident like I at some point even if I do have a pimple like now I'm just like oh my god I have a pimple and I just say it out loud I know you don't have to do that but it helps me I don't know it helps me just like feel like I'm acknowledging that I know you're probably staring at this and so am I all right he's gonna be with us he's the homie he's gonna be here for a couple

fucking days get comfortable and dudes don't really fucking care you know what I mean and we just overthink because girls are wired that way so now I'm fortunate my skin is better so I definitely don't have to worry about that as much but girls have no shame and don't let anyone fucking tell you otherwise like I hate when girls like oh my god like you slept with a full face of makeup on shut the fuck up do whatever you want to fucking do who gives a shit if it makes you feel more confident to wear a lot of makeup do it i do have to say though even if you're breaking out try to not go so ham on the foundation plus the powder go into one or the other but when you do both dudes hate a

caked face even if you're breaking out pick one or the other that's like my pro tip that I learned like with breaking out okay sorry that was so long but I hope that was helpful to any girls that are like flying to see a dude okay whoa I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but I want my ex back. Hello, single father. I know you're probably shaking your head reading the first line of this question, but let me explain. Please explain, sweetheart. No, I understand. My ex and I broke up after being together for about five years. Now now i don't know if the pandemic just really fucked up his head or what but we were always the super chill couple super chill couple never had any real crazy issues super independent on our own had our own lives and

friends sex life was like was like fine wine better with age I swear I miss it. But one day he comes home, sits me down and dumps my ass. After five years, his reasons changed daily from him wanting to grow on his own to thinking there is something better out there for him, aka the grass is greener. We don't really talk anymore. And after months and having literally everyone and their mother tell me, oh, he made the biggest mistake and he will come back running nothing. Honestly, every time we do talk or see each other, he seems so over me. I'm like, what the fuck? Am I doing something wrong? Are my thirst Instagram pics not thirsty enough?

I know we can't be just friends because fuck that. But it's been a while since we broke up. I've dated other men, but been dedicated to my work and really came out of this breakup an even better version of myself and actually enjoy being alone months ago i would have told you i never wanted him back because i too thought that there was someone better out there for me but each passing day i find myself wanting to reconnect with him just to see if there's anything else still there i know you've reconnected with x in the past so So shit. Help a girl because I'm really confused. Thanks, daddy. Okay. There's well, I guess my initial reaction is like I could help you with regard to like

getting the ex back topic, but not to break your heart here and burst your bubble but in a weird way I have to say it sadly sounds like he is over you and I know that actually probably hurts to hear and that is the worst thing to hear but I think it sounds like he is at that point where he, the fact that he mentioned multiple things in the breakup of like, you know, I just want to work on myself. And, and the fact that he mentioned one of the things as, you know, maybe there's something better out there. If a guy says that to you, it's almost like, to me, that sounds like he's really letting you down easy. And like, he fully had his mind made up and he fully realized he's not in love with you. If he acknowledged that he thinks he can do better, that does not mean it's true.

Baby girl, that does not mean it's fucking true. But I think you need to hear that. It sounds like you're not really listening to one the reasons he gave you post breakup and then two it sounds like you're not really listening to the fact that you're saying every time you see him it's as if nothing he feels nothing he's happy he looks like he's moved on and in a sad way i almost urge you to like kind of maybe you need to embrace and do the same if I can give you any advice I think you need to stop putting your emotions first he's made it clear he doesn't want you back in his happy post breakup five years of a relationship for him to end it and

now he's living his best life that really means that man is fucking over it and who knows maybe one day he'll have an epiphany too but for the time being you shouldn't spend your time trying to figure out how to convince him to see the light and want to get back together he's clearly not and he's clearly seeing the light in a very different region all the way on the other fucking side and fucking other bitches and you need to stop wasting your time again if it's meant to be it will be and like maybe he'll come to you but maybe you need to start trying to take almost a page out of his book. Yes, the dates haven't been good. Yes, you haven't been having success with other guys. Don't let that make you all of a sudden be like, but now I want my ex back.

So daddy gang, this episode is officially coming to an end. Finally. It was a crazy one I'm happy I got all of that off my chest um I hope you guys enjoyed that one I have no idea what this next chapter is going to hold usually I like to be in control of things and usually I like to know like oh this is how I'm gonna play this I don't know how I'm gonna play this I'm going into this like I've never gone into anything healthy and trying to make something work and be genuine and authentic. And that's what I'm also going to try to do on the show. If shit's not going fucking right, I'll keep you updated. If it's going fucking great, I'll keep you updated.

And specifically, more importantly, next week, it's fucking Valentine's Day is coming up. So absolutely, I will be keeping you updated. Of what I decide to do. For my first time ever. As a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. This bitch you know me. Call her daddy motherfuckers. We gotta spice it up. Let's fucking go.

So daddy gang I hope you enjoyed that episode. I am so excited for the content that is to come. I love you. I thank you so much for listening to my story. You know the motherfucking drill daddy gang. I will see you fuckers next wednesday