Call Her Daddy - 115- K-Holes & Chlamydia (ft. Harry Jowsey)

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

This week, Father Cooper is enjoying spring break with the one and only... Harry Jowsey. AND THINGS ARE GETTING INSANE. Harry immediately confront Alex about a man that is talking about her head game in LA.. drama. Then, the 2 discuss their experience getting chlamydia, uncovering if guys look at your butthole during doggy-style, bleaching your asshole, and drugs & k-holes. Lastly, Alex tell 2 college stories she has never told on the podcast before, one including a Patriot's player she woke up in bed with in Foxborough and doing drugs with her ex-boyfriend gone wrong. ENJOY DADDY GANG!!!!!!

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy we're back baby what the fuck is up daddy gang it is your founting father for another episode of Call Her Daddy. Spring break. It should be spring break time. It should be all of you, all of us. If you're in college, even if you're not, if you're just in the mood to go on a spring break and you're in your 40s. You're never too old for a good spring break. All right. And you want to get down right now. I feel you. You want to get ratchet. You want to hit the all inclusives. You want to go to Cancun. You want to partake in the white t-shirt contest. If you got those big old titties, even if you got little itty bitties, you want a booty bump. You want a little foam action. You want to do body shots off of the frat boys. You want to fuck the staff.

You want 12 Instagram pictures and you want your friends blackout by noon. But you can't because of what's going on in the world, because of this virus that has changed our lives, Daddy Gang. And it is so sad and is so depressing. All of you, I feel you, you want to be bumping in Panama City, in Vegas, Florida, Mexico, the Dominican Republic. And I feel this on a personal level. Because I once too felt this way. Many years, many, many years before Corona even came into the picture. And what did I do about it? I got chlamydia. This story I'm about to share with you, Daddy Gang, is a testament that you don't even need

to leave your hometown to fully indulge in the debaucherous mentality that is spring break. Daddy gang, here we fucking go. Ah, it was Boston 1985. No, it was Boston 2013. I'm a freshman in college. It all started with my parents ass fucking me. Oh, sorry. It all started with my parents fucking me in the ass, making it very clear at the beginning of college, Alexandra, you are on your own when it comes to spring break. We will not be funding your alcohol poisoning. Figure it out yourselves. All right. Well, mom, look where it got me. She's like, fuck. I said, fine, parents, fuck you too. I don't need you. And so there I was every single year. I would save up all summer by working for that $1,000 shiny gold wristband that was my coveted ticket to the luxurious, all-inclusive ratchet hellhole. Specifically for me, it was in the Dominican Republic.

Freshman and sophomore year, daddy gang, it was in the Dominican Republic. Freshman and sophomore year, Daddy Gang, I had the system on lock. I secured a bartending job at the good old Bijou nightclub in Boston. All my Boston hoes shout out. It was an amazing gig. And I fully leaned into the part, as you would expect. I pushed my tits out. You're like, nothing's changed, Alex. I pushed my tits up to my neck. I wore a waist trainer. I wore a black dress, which in hindsight looked like a black shirt with my labia kind of poking out. I had white hair, orange skin on fleek, tits for tips, baby. I was bartending Barbie. Okay. Basically the mentality was I don't give a fuck what I have to do. I'm going on spring break. And Oh, did I get there? I lived for those all inclusive buffets.

I worshiped the staff. I knew them by name, swim up bar, count me in. I'm wet. And for two straight years, I lived that life until it all changed the drama like my whole life was flipped upside down junior year motherfuckers I decide hey the bartending life isn't for me this year I don't want to work aka no spring break for you then Alex so what So what do I do? I spend spring break in Boston. My mindset was, all right, all of my friends are leaving. I'm not a fucking loser. I can still make this a good time. So I call up my pal, Lauren. Lauren. I say, let's bring the palm trees to Boston, baby. And I said, big owl, I thought you'd never ask. Daddy gang, of course, Lauren sitting in the room listening to me record this little trip down

memory lane thank you goodbye thank you larin so the bitch lands and the party begins bu was a motherfucker and they decided let's have spring break in february but lauren and i we slap on those tans and we say let's go baby bikinis i don't give a fuck let's club insert storyville which was an infamous club you go downstairs you come out looking like you just took a fucking shower and that that is exactly what lauren and i wanted on that spring break so there we are we roll up we're standing in line we're freezing our little tits off and here's the thing every girl listening please pause for a minute close your eyes and reflect when you are in line to get into a bar a club wherever honestly wherever the fuck even a movie theater let's say you will

do anything to get in you turn into a different woman you're willing to compromise your morals so there I was questioning which tit to flash and then all of a sudden a man emerges from the club and is standing at the front of the line talking to the bouncer and i realize i know that man how i knew him was because he was the promoter slash bartender slash whoever the fuck when i was working at bijou the guy with the alcohol the guy with the connect basically the fucking loser that you pretend to like so he gets you into the fucking club and the minute i saw him we beeline it to him. He brings us down VIP for the next four days. Lauren and I realized, fuck Cancun, fuck the Dominican. Vamos a la playa to motherfucking Boston, baby. This is the best spring break of our motherfucking lives. Then I wake up on Sunday.

Spring break is over and I am in this man's bed. I'm sitting in Southie and I'm watching him slick his hair gel back, staring at his sleeve tattoos and his spray tan on the sheets mixed with my spray tan and a little tear drops down my face realizing not only is spring break over but all of a sudden the goggles are off and I'm really staring at the man that I've been spending the past four days with and I realize I need to get the fuck out of here immediately. The way I felt in that moment I can try to equate to the way that most people when you're in a foreign country or you're on an island and it's the day you need to leave your spring break okay you pick up your head from the bar at Senor Frogs you probably probably slept there. You call a cab. You smoke a joint with your

cab driver. He drops you off at the airport. He says, good luck with life. You say, what life? I have nothing left to live for. You walk into the airport and the nausea and the terror of the events that just took place are haunting you. You get into the security line and you vomit at every single trash bin in sight until you get onto the plane and you think about why the fuck did I make the decisions that I did and you go on with your life having a little less of a liver, a little less of a heart, and you lost a little bit of yourself that trip. Well, that was me, okay guys? And I didn't even leave Boston and I felt the repercussions of that spring break. I call an Uber and I immediately call Lauren. I say, wake the fuck up. We have one more mission to accomplish before I bring you to the airport. She jumps in. She says,

where are we going, Al? I say, we're heading on over to student health, sweetheart. Seven days go by and seven days and seven, seven lonely nights go by. I shiver at the thought of what will life be like? What will the results hold for me? And on the seventh day, the Lord, oh no. And on the seventh day, I get a motherfucking email in my email that says, Alexandra B. Cooper. You, my dear, in fact, have chlamydia. You may wonder, do you regret it? No. I look at chlamydia, I wear it as a badge of honor.

I've been honest about it. I told the New York Post I have chlamydia. I told you I have chlamydia. I told Mr. Sexy Zoom Man on one of our first dates. Just so you know, I'm very vocal to the community, aka the Dottie gang. I've had chlamydia and it doesn't define me but it's definitely something that has shaped my character development through my young adult years daddy game the point is people are literally going to respond to this episode and be like dude Alex just go tell us to get an STD no the point is don't get an STD and I will say kudos to me it was my it was my first and my last it was a badge of honor I took it proudly and I never did it again I learned from my motherfucking mistakes daddy gang the point of this story I made my own fun in Boston it did not take me going down to Cancun to get an STD and have

a good old time with a motherfucking promoter boy. I did it right in the comfort of my own home. And that's the theme that I see also in you guys. You're like, do not put this on us, Alex. We didn't get the SCD you did. Shh, listen to me. I asked you guys to write in your best spring break stories. And I saw a little theme, Daddy Gang. I'm not going to fucking lie.

None of your stories were like, and that's where I met the love of my life. And that's where I won the love of my life and that's where i won a thousand dollars no your ratchet asses are the same as mine saying that's the night that i fucked five dudes or that was the night that i got hospitalized my dad found out through the ambulance bill like this shit was dark but i realized those are the best nights those are the best memories the ratchet ones because what it comes down to daddy gang is it's not about the place it's about the people so daddy gang cheers to you have your own goddamn spring break this wednesday you deserve it just don't get chlamydia like i did and if you did you pop the pill and you know i was kidding daddy gang welcome to the show this week here's

the drill i have a man coming on because i figured in the spirit of this being a very very hectic fucked up episode which i really do encourage you to drink this episode because it's gonna be a wild one i'm gonna have a man on this episode that is in itself the definition of an absolute degenerate yeah i like oh god we had so much drama also how fucking sad that you were literally like i really like this girl i was like oh see there's like i feel stupid because i remember off the podcast she was so

angry like how dare you do like my competitors podcast i was like no it's fine i spoke so highly of you and then all this shit went down. I was like. You're like, fuck that bitch. I was like, I look like a fucking idiot. Wait, are we recording? Yeah. Okay, let's record.

Okay. There's so much going on right now. Oh, my God. Okay, first. Okay, first. Are you crying? Yeah, because I was just laughing so hard remembering. So bad.

Okay, wait. All right. Daddy gang. Listen to me. You already know who's here because you hear his laugh his laugh harry harry is back and we were just reminiscing and then we were like just fucking start recording harry and i are reminiscing because we're like holy shit the last time that he was on the podcast harry comes in and he's like there's a girl and i love her and i could see something with her and she's so smart and she's talented she's beautiful and she fucks me right literally right when we released the episode this girl's fully cheating on him and i remember we never

got to like say anything on the internet because i was like and daddy gang was like oh my god he's talking so highly like who's the girl meanwhile she's fully cheating on you the day we really fucking pipe like raw like raw dog and you're like oh okay so that was really sad so i kind of so that was really sad that's for you anyways harry we need to get back into it i missed you i miss you too it's been so it's been i feel like we had so much that happened since like how long ago was that no uh november october what that was crazy yeah you moved here yeah we jumped into it and live in life you have a boyfriend now i do have a boyfriend that's crazy i know are you upset yes i actually am okay wait are you actually actually i didn't tell you something what i was having conversation with someone that me and you both know. And he was like saying something.

He's like, bro, Alex Cooper. She talks the talk, but she also walks the walk. And I was like, no fucking way. What do you mean? Like in bed? Yeah. Oh, I guess. I wonder who it is.

He's like. I've literally only hooked up with one guy in LA before I moved here. And I was like, wow. And I knew. I didn't think he would talk that way, but at least it's good. I was like, because I was like probing. Because was like oh we filmed the episode like it was really exciting yeah and then i was like i heard all this shit like i wonder if it's legit oh right and then he's just like no man there's like like legit like this bitch like she does what she says and i was

like fuck okay well that makes me happy because i'm proud of you no but i could see people being like does she literally make this shit up? She like goes on Urban Dictionary and he's like, what's a blowjob that I come in here and like regurgitate? See, I'm the opposite. I talk the talk, but I just fucking pummel the bag.

You're like flopping around trying to eat a girl's pussy one day. Hopefully you figure it out. Harry, I have so much faith in you. Are you single? Uh, yeah. You're single? I think so.

Wait, what? I don't know. Can I... I'm not putting a bitch on ever again on this one god i was just about to say i had deja vu daddy gang do you not remember that last time harry was on the podcast he literally said i'm like are you single he's like i don't know i don't know okay and you said that exact same time last time what's happening no no you're not telling me. Okay, no. We were speaking about this girl that I was like... Harry's friend is in the room too.

Yeah, Abby. But we were speaking about this girl that I was talking about. Abby? Did you know? That's his name. Oh my god, I thought you were just telling us the girl's name.

No, no, I would never. Okay, so you think you have a girl. No, she keyed my car. She went down. I fucked someone else. She fucked someone else. And then I was... She keyed your car?

Did you say she keyed your car? Yeah. Yes. The way you casually just go, she keyed my car, then you say she keyed your car? yeah yes the way you casually just go she keyed my car then I went down blah blah blah what?

yeah it was so bad I fucked up it was my fault okay wait quickly tell us okay I deserve it okay she was going down

I told her not to worry about this chick blah blah blah this chick what do you mean she was going down? what does that mean? okay

she was going down to your dick? no no I was being a piece of shit okay like I was trying to like scheme something to try and be funny okay and then it it looked way worse than what it was and i was

like this is bad the next morning i woke up my car like i'm at the gym my car's like a key all down the side it cost me 10k to get it fixed hold on i just have to say for a bitch to key a guy's car is so intense it's crazy like you had to have like you that should almost be like your baby mama like i don't see any reason maybe unless I'm in like a serious committed relationship. I don't see the reason to key a guy's car. So you were in a full relationship. No. So then what?

Yeah. But she would also like. Is she well in the head? She would also like show up to the gym and just like sit outside like I need to see you. And I'm like, ah, hi. But I'm like, I invite that. You kind of like the crazy. Yeah.

I'd be like laying in bed. I'd be like, fuck, wouldn't it be crazy if you got pregnant she's like why like every famous nba player's got a baby mama i just true so you want kind of you kind of want a baby mama but you don't want one i have to follow the blueprint right all right because you're not in the nba though you literally don't have the nba's financial status and you don't have you like literally aren't the nba i'm literally like underneath the table like in the trash You're not even on like a close to roster. You're not even, so why are you comparing yourself to NBA? I don't know.

I'm just trying to make myself feel better. But you were hanging out with Larsa Pippen the last I saw you. No, I didn't. So maybe, so maybe. I don't know. Daddy gang, Harry is back. I'm so happy that you're single. I don't understand why a girl's keying your card.

But I have to say, men love the crazy. And at least in the stages of you not like fully wanting to be like this is my wife like you love to fuck with the crazy when you're just dating right because it's fun that's why it's fun to like fuck with men and so honestly i kind of love that she's just like showing up to the gym being hi hi yeah hi but i'm also toxic as fuck as well. Why? What are you doing? Nothing, like, that bad. Nothing bad.

Like, I don't know why she peed my car. Just mind games. Just fucking her mom. Like, what did you do? No, legit, just mind games. Like, tell us the mind games, because I think a lot of girls would love to hear so that they can spot it if a guy's doing it to them. Oh, shit.

Okay, fuck. Like, I'll just text her the most. Like, I'll be bored. Whenever I'm bored is, like, the worst time for any girl that's ever, like, interacting doing it to them oh shit okay fuck um like i'll just text her the most like i'll be bored whenever i'm bored is like the worst time for any girl that's ever like interacting with me because like i'll legit just start shit out of nowhere just like yeah full blown just like i'm getting like hot and heat i'm wet oh my god this is my love language when guys are like psycho to me i'm like oh my god i want to one-up you okay horrible because i'll be bored and then i'll just like text some shit like

oh i actually saw the crazy shit to do on tiktok it was lit why if you're ever bored and you want to like piss someone off you go on google you like type like loading image and you'll be like explain this please and you send it you send it as like and it won't load and they'll be like what the fuck have i done and you're like look shut the fuck up and explain it and they're like i can't see it yeah it's not loading hold on i'm in my car and you just keep going and they're just like freaking the fuck out like maybe your internet's whack but like explain it i'm getting pissed off and you just and you start gaslighting them hey that's called gaslighting this is me hi you're like i am gas i am light whoa gas light so you so you enjoy that i look it's with some people just say yeah i do too the thing is it's crazy being in a committed relationship like really the first

honest one i've ever been in and it's crazy because i felt like i had taken that playbook to the extreme it's kind of nice like i'm hibernating for a little bit. I'm not being as crazy. I do occasional things, but I'm nice in my hibernation. If he does anything, though, slightly off because I'm in a relationship and I don't get the crazy fueling me,

I will go psycho. Actually, this is what I did recently which was so dumb. I was just thinking about it and having to be psycho. I want more. I want more. She flew to New York

for a friend's birthday. Okay. I made her, I'm like, who she flew to New York for a friend's birthday. Okay. I made her. I'm like, who flew you out? Who you fucking like legit, like made her send me like her hotel reservation, her flight details, like everything like that. Who she's with. I'm like, send me a video of like, who's around you.

Just like, cause I was bored. I'm like, whatever. I'm like, who are you fucking? And then she's like, I'm not fucking anyone. I'm in New York. And I'm just like, fine. You're out there fucking someone. I'll go fuck someone.

I'll fuck 10 bitches. Watch me. And this chick's having a meltdown. She's like, Harry, I'm literally with my grandma. And you're like, grandma, shmama, fuck you. Who is he? Who is he? Who's Mr. Grandma?

Okay, so I kind of like it. From what I'm taking is Harry is saying, no, you're a piece of shit. But also, you're playing the game. And that's why I've always said, like, there's nothing wrong with it when a bitch stays around or a guy stays around for the crazy. It literally is just because you guys are fully in the not dating stages. You're in the fucking around stage. And the mental manipulation and the gaslighting is fun. Like, you enjoy fucking around because then once it gets stable and normal and healthy, it's boring.

Yeah. Who wants stable and normal and healthy when you can have fucking crazy psychotic? Exactly. Because then sex is better and then it's more fun and it's just a game. So I think that's good because a lot of people wrote in a lot of questions today for you, which I'm excited to get to. Oh, God. But first, something is in the air. And that is why I wanted to have you on today because although a little birdie, and by little birdie it means me going onto YouTube and watching your newly podcast.

What's your new podcast? Tap In. He like was, what's it called again? I just had a stroke trying to figure it out. A stroke. Okay. Tap In. Tap In.

He has a new podcast. And I went on, I watched it. So cute. So amazing. Fuzzy flowers all around my heart for you. So happy for you. Do you think coming on Call Her Daddy made you want to have a podcast? Yes.

Really? Yeah. Because he poached me. He was just like, hey, what's going on? His friend in the room. Yeah. And you just said happy for you. Do you think coming on Call Her Daddy made you want to have a podcast? Yes. Really? Yeah, because he poached me. He was just like, hey, what's going on? His friend in the room. And you just said, you've got to come on the podcast.

I was like, dude, you've got to have your own podcast. You do. You are really good at talking. You are. Oh, look at you guys. I know, I know. So have you made any money yet?

Are you still broke? No, we're making money. Or are you still on the decline? Yeah, we're doing well. Here we go. We've got a big deal coming in this week, so we'll do it. Although you're still on the decline, you're now rounding the corner to the up climb no i'd still go down

oh down down down but you had like kind of like a little moment where you flatline now you keep going down okay fine that's good i was stable for a bit though yeah at least you're doing something that you enjoy while on the decline as opposed to sitting around just jacking off so i think that's great so anyways so i was watching and you said that you're sober. Yes. Which is so crazy because I chose you actually to come on the podcast today because I thought, Alex, really think to yourself right now, who is the biggest degenerate in LA that you know? And I was like, Harry. Yep.

Harry. So quick. Harry. Like not even a question. I didn't have a stroke. I didn't have to think about it. Like you did your podcast name like fully was like Harry. Piece of shit.

But now you're sober. Yep. yeah forever i don't know okay i'm trying to figure it out okay but like that means obviously you were going a little too hard yeah so we're gonna reflect on the hard days yeah because i don't want to talk about sober you although i'm proud of you we can like round out to that at the end yeah we didn't care about sober me it is spring and i was thinking about it like don't you feel like okay because of quarantine everyone was looking forward to the holidays like this will make quarantine better like we got holidays coming up you go to holidays like that fucking suck nothing was better if anything it was worse then we have new years and everyone was like new year new us 2021 fuck 2020 then we get into 2021 it was like wait nothing actually changed

if anything now 2021 is just as bad if not, because we hyped it up and now it's nothing. But now it's spring. Did you notice everyone on their Instagram accounts this past week? I feel like specifically shit change of like everyone's outside. Everyone's in pools. Everyone's partying because it's spring. It's crazy. Right.

And when I think spring, I think about spring break. And I know you've never been on spring break. So everyone's like, so he isn't drinking. He didn't go on spring break, and he barely went to college, why is he here? Well, we'll get there. We'll get there.

But, so I'm thinking, spring, I've always, I'm already asking myself, why is Harry here today? Actually, I'll just leave. No, it's fine, please stay, because we have no other option this week. So, we're fucking,

I'm the bottom of the barrel. We're recording on Monday, so we got no one. I was going to call Tana, but I know she's so unreliable, like there's no fucking way. She literally texted me in like seven days being like sorry just seeing this like fuck you Tana so anyways so I'm thinking and I'm like spring break and I was thinking about how I

feel so bad for everyone that they can't be on spring break right now they can't be like enjoying the debauchery that is going out and getting fucking lit and I was like why don't we bring spring break Harry and Alex well let me put myself first Alex and Harry edition yes and why don't we bring spring break harry and alex well let me put myself first alex and harry edition yes and why don't we talk about like i know you have let's talk about your college experience first because i know you said what was yeah i was at university for two and a half years yep not very good at it it wasn't doing amazing but like wait wait so you go to two years and in what country uh in australia okay yeah so so different. Okay, can you explain it to us? I feel like it's kind of interesting to me.

It's literally like school. You just go and there was no big parties. There was nothing crazy. Everyone's just getting lit and doing their same thing. Do you commute? Or did you actually live in a dorm? No, my family bought a house right beside it so I could live in it.

Oh, that's kind of nice. Rib stick, flex. Whoa, what? Yeah, my mom bought me a mansion. She's like, you go to university, I'll get you a house right beside it so i could live in it and oh that's kind of nice red stick flex whoa what yeah my mom was like my mom bought me a mansion she's like you go to university i'll get you a house oh okay great oh and then two and a half years later i'm just like mom i gotta do this wait hold on what do you so you dropped out two years in yeah how did you decide um what happened no it's a sad story do we want to go sad how sad uh really sad like it's oh it sucks all right just reality here okay we'll just okay we'll go into it get into it um if it's sad it's sad go just tell me quickly my friend killed himself uh dude that's so dark so sad oh my god oh my god we yeah you're bad one

of your best friends i'm so sorry no no you shit you meant dark yeah i'm so sorry i told you no no it was like yeah don't cry are you crying okay no i just i was getting like a little emotional that hit me okay no no it was heavy yeah so it was like i was at university um i was trying my best to get by do things and then my brother's like best friend the guy grew up looking looking out up to and everything like that ended up like committing suicide and then my other best friend uh from growing up shot himself in the leg because he was like he was fucked up on horse tranquilizers and was like considering it right so i was like what the fuck it all hit me just before and there was some shit that happened

with my dad where it was he wasn't doing so it was like a lot three big things yeah yeah and so i wasn't like i was like shit this is about to be before my exams i wasn't doing amazing so then i'm like fuck it i was looking on facebook reality tv there was a application and i was like sweet send a photo of my undies in and then they're just like cool we really want you on three days later i flew out to new zealand then went and did this reality tv show won a hundred thousand dollars and i was like sweet you know what i'm not meant to be at university yeah i'm not meant to do this shit so i was just like after that i was like i was like fucking bye um wow so that's how this shit all started dude but that's why i love having people on my show because i feel like half the

time i have a whole conspiracy now about bryce hall and all the demelios and i feel actually awful for all of them right now i have a complete change of heart and i just feel like we've talked about it before on the last episode but like nobody knows what anyone's going through so like be kind um but okay so heavy hot i'm sorry i'm sorry no no no it's totally fine and like i don't want anyone to think i'm being disrespecting like like not staying there but like i this is gonna be an uplifting moment we i'm so sorry for you that's honestly so awful it happened yes we're moving so you so you decide to leave college yes so you didn't have a crazy college experience well i did like i was a little slut like i was a bartender like

at the university bar i was doing as much as I could. Like fucking everyone. Wait, you were a bartender? Yeah. Oh my God. Wait, I was too. I literally was just telling the story in my intro, but I can quickly tell you basically I got chlamydia. Once in my life, I literally, I remember it so deeply too. Cause it's like, you just never think you're going to be that and then like you're that girl and you're like fuck and so i remember i was like in college i was telling the dad again basically i got this bartending job that i want like because my parents like fuck you we're not paying for spring break so i was like how do i make money so i start bartending at this club and it was like a high-end club and i am bartending i don't know what the fuck i'm

doing half the time someone's getting a full thing of vodka someone's getting cranberry juice like i didn't know what i was doing i was like so i meet like the guy that's like the bar backslash promoter and honestly like something about a promoter when i was 19 i was like whoa like i was so horny for this man and everyone was fucking me had sleeve tattoos like so fucking hot i end up fucking him like a couple years later because i see him in a bar and i was just like oh it was the man that i always wanted to fuck fucked him got chlamydia and the moment that I got chlamydia, I was like, was it worth it? It wasn't worth it. So I was telling, I was exposing myself about getting chlamydia on my quote unquote spring break.

Yeah. Can you tell us a story that like really embodies, because I told you like we're talking shit that like we really fucked up our lives. Like tell me a story that embodied like your college experience, even though you didn't have spring break. Okay, this is actually disgusting. Okay. No, this is actually horrible. I was thinking about it on the way here,

and I was like, Alex is going to think I'm actually fucking disgusting. I love how I'm looking at you. I'm like, Harry, I have chlamydia, and you still have hard eyes. You're like, but I love you. I was like, something in common. Have you had chlamydia?

At university. At university. Wait, really? Like twice. Oh my god, we're clam sisters. I love that. Okay. Hard eyes. Okay. This. I love that. Okay.

This is actually fucking disgusting. Okay. I don't recommend anyone doing this. Okay. So where I went to university was like two and a half hour drive from the airport. And on this drive, like I'm a chronic sleeper. Once I'm sitting down, like I started like nod off. And like at that time, like I was still learning to drive.

And I would always like start to like nod off on like long drives and i and i like put music out loud and i'd like scream trying to get the energy up i'd have like energy drinks nothing was working because you're gonna fall asleep at the wheel yeah i'd always fall asleep and i was like it's so bad what do i start doing i'm like i better start beating myself off so hold on you're driving and jacking off it gets way worse we're gonna change the signs in Australia once a year. There's like, apparently, Harry has changed it. We got to do no jacking off and driving. Okay, keep going. It was so bad.

So that was the only thing that was keeping me awake because I'd be like so focused, like screaming my favorite song, just like, like just beaten up into my shirt, like crazy. So it got to a point where whenever I was driving this road, I'd just get horny as fuck. The road like brought back memories. Yeah. I would be like, I'd just get horny as fuck. The road brought back memories? Yeah. I'd be coming back from home, and I'd be driving, and I'd be like, oh, shit. I'm getting hot in the car. And I was driving, and there was this other girl.

I spotted her on a highway driving as well. And I was like, I wonder if I could pull her over. So I'm driving down this highway. It's a two-and-a-half-hour drive, by the way. Trying to get beside her. It looked like a madman. I was like, yo, slow down. Like pointing at her car. hour drive, by the way. So I'm trying to get beside her. Like, look like a madman. I was like, yo, like slow down. Like pointing at her car.

There's nothing wrong with it. Was she like hot? No. Oh. Terrible. You're like, I just want that road beat. Here we go. Like literally, let's go.

Legit like road kill. Like we're driving. And I like finally pulled her over like after like half an hour. And she's like, what's wrong? I was like, just put your number and I need to call you. And we're like driving. I'm in my little Ford Fiesta, like going back to where i'm from and uh road rage mr b with a boner and i like i like called her and i'm like hey where are you going she's like i'm

passing through this place like i'm gonna i'm gonna see my grandma and i was like sweet i was like i'm going like i live in this city um i have like i'm going back i have to work in like 20 minutes you want to just come pull up crazy shit i'm i'm not even lying so she comes like i pull up to my house she comes she walks straight in i remember looking at my roommate and he's just like what the fuck because this chick you're in college at this point yeah yeah this chick was like like not the cutest like but i was just like i have to execute because it's a story now right i have to tell and call a daddy five years time. You were literally manifesting in that moment.

Pull the bitch over. Fucker. Okay, so she comes into your house. So we come to their house. And we're just like talking. And I was like, look, I've only got like 20 minutes. She's like, okay, cool. And then we start like kissing.

I take her top off. Hickies all up her titties and like neck. Like a fucking trail. And I'm like, what happened here? You get attacked? And she's like, no, I just saw my ex just before I come and I was like that's enough for me I thought you were saying that's enough for me get out

I was like no way what literally what I was like you just go fuck let's go she literally has semen still coming out of her pussy and you're like yes yeah extra lube we're going in stop Let's go. She literally, semen still coming out of her pussy. And you're like, yes. Yeah. Extra lube. We're going in.

Stop. So that happened. We legit started having sex. 30 seconds later, I'm like, in her ear. I'm like, look, we got to go.

I got work. I got to put my little fucking liquor shirt on and like start like buttoning up. And she's like, okay, sweet. Never heard her again. Don't know her name.

Don't know what, what she is, where she is, what she's doing. No idea. It was the most bizarre shit ever. Like disgusting is that how no how much like shout out all i'm thinking is shout out whoever you are road beefy the fact that she never texted you i have so much respect for that girl why she knew what it was she knew what it was imagine if she

tried to text you like hey like what are you doing after work you would have been like fuck off you would have fucked her off the fact that she knew better and was like, it was what it was and it will be what it is. Good girl. And like, maybe she saw you on your show and was like, oh my God, like I fucked him. But she still has your number. That has to do with the skinny dick. Wow. There we go.

Honestly, the fact that you are jacking off while you're driving. I'm picturing you like going to touch your like stick shift and you're like grabbing your dick and say, oh, fuck, wrong one. And then you pull a girl over. It was hard when you're like having like a good night and your eyes start to like close and you're like twitching. You're like, oh, fuck, wrong one. And then you pull a girl over. It was hard when you're having a good night and your eyes start to close and you're twitching and you're like, oh, shit. Harry, the fact that you come and call her daddy and you're like, oh, yeah,

this one time in college and you pull out that out of your asshole. The fact that you didn't tell me that on the first episode is so unbelievable that you have that many stories in your life. Oh, yeah, just the one broad that I pulled over on the side of the fucking road. Daddy gang, see, anything can happen. So when you see a hot man on the road next time, daddy gang, try Harry's trick and start masturbating and make eye contact.

Because the eye contact you can make when you're masturbating is different than just normal eye contact. So I really appreciate you telling us that story, Harry, because it honestly just made my day. Also, on the same highway, if me and my boys driving to that city would always like there'd always be like girls going because we have this thing called schooly so once you finish school it's like the biggest party ever so if like we're going up and there's always like cars and stuff would always have our like numbers on notes and like put them in different cars because it's always like bump of the traffic and we're like get out and like give girls our numbers and just fuck these bitches wait that's so smart the fact that you also had a house i know it was a flex i'm like you want to come to my house yeah my house

that my mommy bought me it's a piece of shit house your mom bought you that house it's pretty dope yeah it's vibe shut up mom i honestly i was dying laughing because i was asking daddy gang like hey like send in stories of like you that like crazy spring break stories and i was dying laughing because i thought this one really embodied well first of all i thought you i was gonna ask you about milf and have you ever fucked milfs yeah okay because this one girl wrote and she was like so a lot of spring breaks like i've gone on but one we did with our moms and daddy gang this is from you and she said needless to say one of the nights things got a little crazy and someone walked in on my friend's mom sucking one of the guy's dick in the laundry room of the condo the mom and her daughter got

into a huge fight when the mom got caught can you imagine you're seeing your mom suck off a guy and also she was fully married and i'm like who would you ever go on a a trip like that with your mom yes not what after hearing that story harry is like i I want to see my mom. My mom's fucking wild. That would be crazy. I'd be like, mom, get these fucking boys in your room and go crazy. Let's fucking go. You wouldn't want your mom to have a good time? Dude, I just don't know seeing her on her knees.

I wouldn't want to see it, but I'd want my mom to get her back blowing the fuck out. That's totally fine. I actually kind of agree with you to like know that she's getting it have you because i was thinking about you like you i guess you had your house but i was thinking about people in spring break and how they're like it's almost the best days when they're the most ratchet days like right now harry you're flying down when you go to like miami and stuff and you're hanging out with rich people so you're hanging like a huge fucking mansion yeah but isn't it kind of the best when you're in those like little condos there's two bedrooms with 14 people in them shit gets disgusting so bad and so when you look back at like i guess your college days like it was a little bit more ratchet but do you

think that your sex has stayed the same or did you enjoy like being a little bit more ratchet back then are you like happy you grew up i feel like i know uh right now doing what i do it is way better yeah like yeah when i was at uh college like it was so bad like i'd have like my friend would have a go on like the living room and like she'd like come into my bedroom and then i go back and forth like legit wait the girl would go back and forth between the two yeah it was great because he's in the butt shit so he'd like fuck on the ass and then you go in the pussy yeah i'm like i'm staying away from that that's so nice that you guys were like providing for her in different ways yeah you're givers yeah it was so much fun that's so nice that you guys are, like, providing for her in different ways. Yeah, that was great.

You're givers. Yeah, it was so much fun. That's so nice. Can I ask you, when did you, when did your parents know you started drinking? Because I was trying to think, like, when did you start drinking? Like, probably, like, 16, 17. What grade is that, like, sophomore high school? I don't know what that means.

You don't remember going to high school? You kind of laughed it out? Dude, because I remember, like, the water bottles and, water bottles and like drinking and like taking my dad's whiskey but daddy gang like the the theme of over drinking was just so apparent in everyone's spring break days and just drinking in general and i have to read you the story because daddy gang will get this maybe you don't get this if you did you never drink from like full water bottles no oh we we have goon bags in australia what are goon bags so it's like a gallon of wine it's just the cheapest shit ever it's like ten dollars and everyone has it you have the worst hangover but legit like and you're drinking wine ask any

australian it's legit a goon bag it's it will fucking ruin you it's crazy dude and the fact are you just walking around with like red teeth you all look fucked up yeah or like it's like white wine red wine anything you need but it's terrible that was like four locos in the united states i remember in seventh grade my six friends and i drank four locos and we all had the different colors and all of us were puking in my front yard different colors yeah that's great i was like yo bitch like you are in seventh grade my brain not fully developed like what am i doing listen to this bitch from the daddy and you have to respect it she goes hi daddy this isn't that crazier ratchet of a story for spring break but it's for laughs back when i was a dumbass freshman in college i went to scottsdale for spring break with some of my friends from high school back in the

day i thought it was really cool to chug vodka and blackout people have different party tricks mine was chugging straight alcohol for like 10 seconds which upon reflection was not a party trick it was just fucking dumb jesus it's i remember doing that in high school being like i'm gonna drink so much and i would just drink to black out i didn't understand like hey like there's social drinking you just drink and you black out she said it's funny because i would black out every time i drank and i didn't know why anyways we end up going to this guy's mansion in the desert my stupid ass is trying to impress this d1 athlete and so of course i chug a ton of alcohol thinking I was really cool because I could drink. I was starting to brown out and decided to go outside and light the gas fireplace.

I insisted on lighting it myself. They turned the gas on and I stuck my entire head into the fireplace. And there was a small explosion of fire. The room immediately smelled like shit. Burnt hair. I turned around and my eyebrows were singed off. No. I burnt off a solid amount of hair in my head and it took four years to grow that hair back.

Never again will I volunteer to light a fireplace or chug alcohol to impress some guys because it is in fact not impressive. Holy fucking shit. The fact that she put her head in a fucking fireplace. She's like, i got this one guys why but like why would that impress anyone i think when i think back to my high school days and i think about myself like getting finger blasted in the basement i think about those high school parties and like i didn't understand the concept of like just drinking responsibly dude so many people were asking me have you ever dated a girl or have you ever been the one because

i will say daddy gang i fully take responsibility i have at times been too it was more in college but have you ever been the type of guy that's so fucked up that you like get trigger finger happy with texting or calling oh i'm the worst wait really i am so fucking bad i feel like guys aren't that bad and girls are worse you're bad tell me no i would legit just be like okay as i said i told you did i tell you last time where i have like i'll hit you at like 10 and then 11 or like no i didn't say that you i don't think so or i forgot actually i probably didn't say wait what do you do so like oh my god i've never this makes me feel better though because i think a lot of girls are like why do we always get triggered if you're happy and guys glad i'm

making you feel better. Apparently hairy. So date hair if you want to feel better about yourself. Okay, tell us. No, it would be like the start of the night and I would just like, you know, do a little blast like 10 a.m., 10 p.m.,

not 10 a.m., 10 p.m. like have a little blast and then come 11, I'll start to narrow down the list and then once it comes like two or three, I'm just like, I'll start saying the most vulgar shit like, oh, like, like I want to marry you. Like like i'm just so loving what i've fucked up like i'm just i'll be saying like the crazy shit like i'll try to like i'll tell everyone i love them and i

want to marry them and then it's just like first pickings whoever like replies first i'm like all right we're going dude do you feel like it's an issue when you're telling girls that you love them it's an issue for them do we do they do what the fuck is going on with harry but did they ever say it back and it's awkward because dude the fuck girls if a man ever is fucked up and it's like i love you and you're like me now it's like that you look stupid you look stupid he was he was literally not being honest he was doing it against our pussy wait so you've said that to girls and they've said it back honestly yeah and then and then i'll be like what did you fucking say like i'm so bad you're like i was kidding i said i love your pussy the next day he's like get the fuck out dude okay so harry i see i've

never had a guy like that and i always wanted to because i would feel like no don't say that you don't want to be we're bad okay so you what is a night that you remember that you were like damn like i like fucked my life up from drinking fuck jesus christ you're like how can i name one no i like back in the day like like something you're like damn like i like i really woke up like whoa i've never gotten arrested yes yeah like i got schoolies it was legit so bad i was so fucked up i had this girl in my uh hotel room where all the boys are getting lit i was beating that shit up in in the room she she's like i i need to go i was like sweet like let's go let's walk downstairs i was like drunk the boys like out on the way out everyone's just like hey good stuff like clapping me and then i started like

they're like oh i have a shot so i banged like three or four shots as i went out and i went downstairs three in the afternoon because school in Australia is like fucking mental. Three in the afternoon, I walk outside. She's waiting for her Uber. And I was like drunk, lit. Started like ripping this like plastic off this wall. Turns out it's like this big promotional thing. The owner comes out of the thing and I'm like drunk, like ripping this like plastic sticker off this entire like storefront in the middle of Gold Coast.

And then like security guards come over like, what's name i was like i'm not telling you fucking shit and then they're just like okay we'll put you on the fucking ground boom like i'm arrested like laying there just like what the fuck's going on this girl was just like what are you doing i was like i i don't know and then i got taken like an hour away with no money no wallet no nothing an hour away to the police station locked up till like 1 in the morning, so I missed all the parties, everything like that. I remember you're like, so I missed all the parties, it was so annoying. It was so bad. You're in jail.

I fucked up, but I was in there, and there's all these like fucking drug heads that come in just like, like talking to me like crazy, I'm like 17, like frail, I got like a ripped shirt on, and I'm just sitting there just like in the corner. You're like looking so sexy, and they're like, let us fuck your ass, and you're going like, stop, I just want to go to the party. I'm like, please, I just want to party. I'll do it quick but no i let it quick hurry lube it up but that happened and then i had to like fucking run back like an hour it was like an hour you didn't run you got a car no i i didn't have any money i started running who did you call how did you get out i didn't oh you were in the

drunk tank oh so you didn't get out here Harry. No, I'm actually still there. No, but I was. I'm hallucinating. It was like one. And they're just like, okay, you like sobered up. Like, you're good. Like, they contacted the store and I had to go to court. Like, it was so bad. Yeah, he was so upset.

And I'm like, look, I'm sorry. Like, I was a piece of shit. I had to get my mom to call. I'm like, he's really sorry. Like, he didn't mean it. Like, all this stuff. He's such a good boy. He's such a good boy.

You're like, no, mom, I'm not. Yeah. Dude, that is so. I've never been to jail or into the drunk tank or anything like i feel like i just got really lucky i remember in college i've never told the story on call her daddy but basically i like you had to swipe into the dorms and it was even sober it was hard to swipe in with your card like so fucking hard people when you're sober they're like i can't get in but when you're drunk it's three strikes and they call the ambulance and

it's like so fucking unfair why would they call the fucking ambulance i don't know why i think it's like state rule or something in boston like i don't know what the fuck so half of us would always be like it's not fair we're literally sober and we can't swipe in so when i'm fucked up how am i supposed to swipe into my dorm so meanwhile being on the soccer team my coach made it clear like if the ambulance gets called like you're literally kicked off the team so all of us would like wrangle together make sure like whoever was like the most fucked up like we have to get them in able to swipe in like we literally tape it to their hand the right way like have them swipe no so one night I go out with my girlfriend who was my roommate at the time and I was like

texting this Patriots player like oh yeah like young thug Alex like ready to take down the athletes and he wasn't like fully on the Patriots yet. So he like drives into Boston from Foxborough is where they live. And by the time he gets to the club, I'm too fucked up. I don't even remember him getting there. So my roommate starts flirting with him. We hang out. And finally, she's like, we have to bring Alex back to the dorms.

I get to the dorms. And my at the time, my roommate was literally 5'1". So she's carrying me into the dorms. I swipe the time my roommate was literally 5-1 so she's carrying me into the dorms i swipe i swipe i swipe the man the guy goes we're calling the ambulance knowing like holy fuck one she can't i don't even give a fuck if my dad gets the bill i can't i'm gonna get kicked off my team so my little 5-1 roommate takes me over her shoulder rushes out of the and the guys like come back in like what the fuck like i'm calling the ambulance right now she shoves me into a bush my like heels are just up in the air and she's waiting for the patriots player to come back she called him the guy comes he picks me up physically puts me in

his car drives us all the way back to foxborough i don't remember any of this wow i wake up in the morning i am in head to toe patriots training gear oh i remember nothing wow like oh like was it like a cute one that's no no hold on hold on it gets worse i wake up i'm in like on a on a um couch there's two doors to my left and my right and i'm i don't remember anything my roommate's not there like i'm like what what happened i don't even remember meeting the guy oh shit i open one of the doors because i'm like left or right i open the door there is a i don't know if this is the exact weight but like 300 pound man laying in the bed with like his clicker like watching tv and he goes hey what's up i start bawling my eyes

out close the door i'm like did i fuck that man last night i'm like trying to feel my vagina i'm And he goes, hey, what's up? I start bawling my eyes out. Close the door. I'm like, did I fuck that man last night? I'm like trying to feel my vagina. I'm like, am I sore? Like, does it feel sore? Like, did I fuck that last night? I start freaking the fuck out.

I run into the other door because I'm like, what the fuck? I need to hide from this man. Like, I don't know that man. I open the door and there's my roommate in bed with the other Patriots player that had gotten us. And I start bawling my eyes out. And she thinks I'm upset because she like fucked the dude that like I was hooked up with. And I'm like, I'm so happy to see you guys. Like it was the worst night of my life. And I ended up throwing up all over his new car and throwing up all over his Patriots

gear. And the saddest thing was he literally got cut that day. So none. And he went back to Ohio and he's like a normal job. So I threw up all over his car threw up over his training gear ruined his life and i was like i need to chill from drinking for a minute wow like it's those moments right crazy like i can't explain that opening that door moment like seeing that man like no shame but like i was just like i don't think i made that decision

like i really can't that's fucked up that's crazy i was like really really upset with myself for a minute but then when i realized i didn't i was like feeling better did you get cut from the soccer team or was everything okay nobody found out and the thing is is like then and one girl ended up getting like um hospitalized for drinking and she like didn't get cut but my coach like didn't like me so i was like if i did get cut she would totally cut me that's fucking awful awful shit so I want to talk about drugs oh yay because I want to hear like your experience with partying drugs I've like been oh I don't know if I've been that open on my show about it but I guess like I can't get arrested for talking about it but yeah my experience with like partying and like party favors drugs like I

never really dabbled like my high school experience i like tried to smoke weed and then i was like yeah like that's great but like then i went to college and i couldn't because i was getting drug tested for zucker so i never did drugs in college at all and so i was just like drinking and then i always said i think my mom was like disturbed but i always was like i want to try cocaine i said it to my mom one day she's like okay thank you but i was like i just want to try it she's like okay thank you alex thanks for letting me know i always like i want to try coke like i want to just see what it's like um but then i never really like tried other drugs and so when i got out of college i did try coke and i was like heroin dabbled with heroin it was

like ah like not my vibe but like return me no i never i literally never tried anything other than coke um and then i was and that was just like it but like what is your experience with drugs actually so the first time i ever did coke i was in spain oh and i was 18 so i did my first ever like party drugs on schoolies and they're called pingers in australia like 20 a pill yeah it's crazy so you have it and then it was just it was actually nuts i thought i was the fastest man alive. Like I was running like crazy. You're not. No.

Look at me. I'm a fucking string bean. I look like a fucking long flamingo. Wait, wait, what are they called? Pingas. And what are they? They're legit. Just like, like pills, just little pills.

You pop them. Like, cause like drugs are a lot harder to get in Australia. What do you think is like, what is it? Like ecstasy or like MDMA. Like some of them have like different complexes and stuff. Okay. Probably rat poison. Who fucking knows? The old old the old favorite right um but the first time i ever did

coke i was in spain and i called my mom and i'm like mom i'm fucked up i tried cocaine it's crazy she goes bring me back some i'm trying to lose some weight and i was like i was like mom really i'm really fucked up like you want me to pack some? She's like, no, Harry, you fucking idiot. She's like, you're so stupid. I'm like, yes, but no. She's like, if you could get some, I'm trying to lose some weight. I'm like, mom, you need to relax. You are in our business.

Don't you think that when you have parents that are more, I'm not going to say the parents that are like, here's cocaine, but the ones that are not like, if you do drugs, you will die and I will kill you. Those are the kids that go to college and the first week they're in the ambulance because they have never drank in their life they've never done anything as opposed to the parents that are more like accepting and are like listen like if you do it smartly i want you to do it in the house like etc so i don't know i just feel like as a parent because you know i'm pregnant here's the news everyone i'm pregnant um i just think like i feel like those kids like are better off in the

world when not again providing your child a handle and be like have fun becky yeah but like just being supportive yeah because it's gonna happen did you like coke the first time or no yeah it was crazy i had the most lit sex i fucked this chick in an elevator she squirted all over before i've slipped over and we went to i was in a hostel it was crazy it was so much fun it was so fun it was crazy squirted i was on coke coke but actually so my i grew up my parents told me about when they did heroin like they tried heroin not even fucking kidding like because that my my family everyone please don't try heroin yeah no don't do it don't do it whatsoever i will never do it no um but it was just like my family's so transparent with everything

yeah because i because i would tell my parents and i, look, this is what I want to try. This is what I want to do because I'd rather them know and then see me in a year. And I'm like in Hollywood, like cracked out on the side of the street. It must be the Molly you wanted to take. No, I get what you're saying. You can be open with them. Yeah. Yeah.

So they were living in London. This is like when they're like in their 20s and they're like, oh, we before we die, we want to try everything. Like, wow. They're like, we die we want to try everything like wow they're like oh we want to do everything they're they're like thinking maybe we'll give heroin a shot right so they fly to thailand because they're like we're not gonna do it london is fucking shit we're gonna fly to thailand it's shit quality heroin good shit they go to thailand they go like the poppy fields they get like a place on the beach for two weeks and like we're just gonna try it for two weeks and then we're gonna go absolutely cold turkey craziest story ever like my parents like young and in love like in these poppy fields like doing heroin doing

heroin with each other like absolutely i was like if that's not love if that's not love i don't know what it is poppy fields and heroin and then we're like we're gone baby okay this is where it's like fucked up my dad thought he killed my mom, right? This is like, I've never told, they're probably going to be upset, but whatever. Love you, mom and dad. No, it's a great. You raised an amazing baby. It's a great story.

It's great. So they were at breakfast one day and they ordered like this mushroom omelet. Because obviously mushrooms, psychedelics get you really fucked up. But it's for four people. My dad goes to the toilet as it's like coming out. He ordered it. My mom's sitting there hungry as fuck, eats the whole thing. my dad goes shouldn't eat that whole thing that was for four people she's like oh well goes on the fucking trip of a lifetime she's on the back of the scooter like

like passed out like legit just like in a sea like in a coma type shit he thinks he killed her so he's in the ocean dunking my mom just like trying to bring her back to life nothing's happening what does my dumb dad do shoots her up with heroin to try and like bring her back to life nothing's happening what does my dumb dad do shoots her up with heroin to try and like bring her back to life it's like oh we need to like try and revive her nothing happens like legit but she came back like she just had a great time yeah she was just on mars it's fucking dude i love it like nothing happened i'm like right wait because your mom is alive okay good to know dude what that's like a movie your parents should sell that for a movie script yeah they hate each other okay happy ending not so much the poppy field didn't fucking end well but i saw they never did heroin again never never so i saw a photo of my dad smoking on a pipe

like in the poppy field and his eyes like cross-eyed and he was just and i asked him i was like what's it like he's just like your body just feels like warm honey and you just feel like you're just like honey like floating around i was like that's crazy thank like? He's just like, your body just feels like warm honey. And you just feel like you're just like honey, like floating around. I was like, that's crazy. Thank you. Never do it. No, don't. Please don't.

They went back to London. They said it was the hardest month of their life, like trying to not do anything. They locked themselves in and they were just completely fine. Like, we'll never do it again. Everybody listening to this podcast, do not fucking try heroin. Don't do any drugs. No, seriously. Because, oh my God.

Like, I've watched. Did you ever see the Timothee Chalamet movie he did with like, oh my god like i've watched did you ever see the timothy chalamet movie he did with like um oh my god it was so good he was like he was like real life story not him being addicted to heroin but like i don't know it was a good movie go watch it i don't even know what it's called okay fuck anyways i'm thrown off because we're talking about heroin and call her daddy the moral of the story fuck i'm trying to wrap my head around this nobody do drugs do not do drugs. It's so fucking. No.

Don't do anything. You'll fuck your life up. You will. Like fucking losers. Don't do it. Don't do it. Your parents. Fuck you, parent.

No. Okay. So, but you have tried cocaine. My experience with coke. Everyone's probably like, what the fuck are you guys talking about this? Well, it was the spring break episode and people were like, never have I ever like done coke off like a stripper's asshole. And I was like, okay, like I've never really talked about dabbling with drugs.

And I think people are probably like, oh, that girl's a coke addict because I talk so fucking fast. And I always have. So you probably thought that when you met me. So the truth is, is the first time I tried coke, I was like a cool. But like I was like the coke drip it down your throat. Like I was like, I actually feel like I am so energetic. I don't need that shit but my worst experience was i had did not know what ketamine was oh god okay oh i've never told this is a fucking rabbit dude it's so okay so i did not

know what ketamine was and i remember one of my old roommates would always talk about like a k-hole and i was like what is the k-hole and like what is ketamine yeah and so she would dabble in ketamine and cocaine a lot and i was just like i just am not interested but like totally do you but also like you're kind of scary when you're on it and so i remember her saying like a k-hole ketamine is like horse tranquilizer fucking bad and so when you go into a k-hole you literally cannot move your body you cannot speak basically you're just like out for the okay also if you're listening please do not do uh ketamine no last last thing you should ever do that shit's actually fucked yeah it made me bad so i'm uh i'm like reconnecting with an ex in new york city and this was like a couple years ago and um i'm at

casablanca if anyone in new york shout out like casablanca was like this place and so the bouncer was like like friends with my ex and they were like yeah come downstairs like we have coke and like i will do coke if it's like one of those nights like it's like new year's eve or like like a very specific moment like i'm not doing coke every weekend like i don't need it i don't give a fuck about it yeah so i'm like all right whatever everyone's about to do it i'll go downstairs so we're downstairs and they're they have like a metal straw and i'm like okay like professionals and this dude is like here you go take two bumps like one in each nostril like you'll be good to go and so i watch my ex do it and i'm like i don't like i don't even really need this but like okay fine fuck it like i'm not going to be a pussy which in hindsight saying that like if you are like i'm not going to be a pussy then

don't do it because that's like what what do you mean you're trying to prove what are you trying to yeah to who so i was like fucked up like whatever and half the time coke will like almost sober you up in a strange way but i was like all right like it's the end of the night whatever i take one hit in my left nostril and i remember being like huh i don't know a little weird a little weird funky the guy's like here put it in your right nostril here you go like take two and i was kind of like and there was so much in the straw wow i take another hit in my right nostril i don't even make it up the stairs and i am like i grab my ex's bicep and i'm like that was not cocaine like there's no fucking way that was coke like that was enough for like to be coke that was a lot it was ketamine so to take that much ketamine in two fucking nostrils up my nose crazy i get upstairs and casablanca's

like this like underground type place and i'm on i am like literally out of my mind sitting there i can my body cannot move i feel 1,100 like terrified and i'm paranoid and i can't move my body and i can't speak and i want to articulate like i want to leave but a part of me also didn't want to leave because like to the thought of going home to a quiet apartment was even more terrifying so to like be kind of in that environment was like it was the worst night of my life i just remember being like don't ever do fucking ketamine it's the worst it's the worst fucking thing i feel like also the worst thing is if you try if you're trying it for the first time and you're around someone say your friend is like judging you yeah be away from those people like you need to be that comfortable like if you're like we're not

preaching anything but if you are in a position where shit like that may happen don't be around someone that's going to judge you and feel like it's like make you feel out of place because that's the fucking worst that makes it worse than anything when you're like with someone that's just like legit saying oh what are you doing more like do more like what are you yeah like that's so bad i i agree anyone younger that's listening that is like hasn't done oh, what are you doing? Do more. Like, what are you? You're pussy. Yeah. Like, that's so bad. I agree. Anyone younger that's listening that is like hasn't done any of this and you're like, oh, don't try it. I'm literally sitting here telling you if I had to go my entire life with either drinking

and doing drugs or not doing it ever again, I would pick not doing it again. It's not even that worth it. I'm not sitting here like, yeah, like so amazing. Not worth it. Yeah. That's why I've been like so, so clean, like cold turkey from everything. Cause it's just like, there's just no point no point and also like i was looking at this scene in like miami and like la like who goes out who does all this shit no one's millionaires like

none of these people ever kind of be like millionaires or like change the world or be positive so i'm like fuck i need to pull the fuck away from that because that's not going to benefit anyone especially myself i love that you're saying that because i feel like we've had our like fun moments of talking we're talking about what a fucking episode i know i know like whoa i feel like i'm like no i think it's good to talk about it but like it is crazy because i feel like you're right harry like going through college and not doing it and watching other kids like doing all crazy shit i was like oh damn like i am kind of almost happy that i'm like put in this little bubble that i have to be in for four years because it like like, protected me.

I also agree with you. Like, I'm trying to be rich as fuck. I'm trying to make my fucking money. I want to be the biggest podcaster in the world. I want to, like, keep building this brand. Like, I want to be so successful. And to do so, you can have nights where you enjoy yourself. But to be constantly putting your body through that, like, the The mornings when you want to wake up on a Monday,

but you were fucked up on a Sunday, I'm like, what? Yeah, and especially I found that I disconnected from myself. Now that I've been completely sober and back in my body and in my head, I realized that, shit, I was seriously ripping my soul out of my body by just getting fucked up. Because don't you think you kind of go numb and you go in a cycle of like you drink and then you like do whatever work you have whether daddy you're going to like nine to five or whatever the fuck you're doing and then you just go back to raging and you never have enough time to be like i'm gonna like

take care of myself i want to work out today like i want to like it's expensive oh that's so true save that money you go on a holiday you go on a girl's trip and just get fingered by some dude on a beach so do once a year big trip go for it instead of every fucking weekend yes going to your stupid brunches like imagine how good an italian fucking sausage would be between your buns oh like save up yeah save up for that high quality sausage and not the little wiener dog not the little hot dog in a bun we know what the we do with the long foreskin. We don't want that. The wizard hat. Dude, the wizard hat? What?

I've never heard that. My friend's got a foreskin. I always, like, roast him about his little wizard hat. Is that what he says it is? No, I say it. I'm like, how's your fucking wizard hat? Stop. Yeah, I don't know.

I've never come across it. We always have arguments about it. Why? Because growing up, like, in Australia, a lot of dudes still have foreskins. Like, it's a big deal. How did your parents decide? Are you circumcised or uncircumcised? Yeah,cised or yeah yeah okay how did your parents decide to clip you up i don't i actually don't know my dad was like this is big enough let's fucking

have like a toddler no no i actually i actually don't know i just think my i don't know but i've always just having like this argument like growing up i'm like look it's a sleek design it looks good it's new a new age oh because you were the odd man out in australia yeah i have to like yell and now i'm like i'm in my fucking stomping ground i got my army of fucking circumcised brothers and we're going to get some wizard hats that's an amazing way to look at it wow so you must be so at first like you had to build confidence around your penis because everyone around you wasn't circumcised and you were like what's my shiny toy down there like why is y'all exposed like where's my little hood yeah and then you came to america and you said oh look at all of you you guys have convertibles too

that's so crazy but do you think have your friends said anything about like do they think they have better sex with it um i actually don't know i just know that he he just always says like it's better to beat off because i have to use lube but he's just like oh i don't need that shit and i was like look back okay to each his own but a flex yeah that's interesting the extra skin um like a fucking elephant trunk stop sorry harry i'm getting angry no that's like every girl has like different vagina what was that thing trending on tiktok that was like girls didn't know that there was like considered an audi and any for a vagina girls didn't know that i guess girls didn't know that it was like trending but i guess it's for the younger generation college talk the girl that would uh the one

time my friend was fucking this girl in the living room right she come my room and i was like eating her out but i was still so new to it you were double dipping together true my boy true friendship gold but god but i was because i didn't know what I was doing. And I remember I was very scared and nervous. And I went down there and I was licking away. And she goes, hold up. You're not hitting it. Puts her finger down by a flap.

And I looked at it and she just goes, flip. Flips over this sail of skin. That sounded so weird. To the side. And then I was like do that again do that again it was like asmr in my ear it was really good but i was like oh there it is it looked like a fucking robot before wow yeah see that's the thing girls like i remember one of my friends had said like i think i want to get labiaplasty nah more to suck on come on thank you i was like if that's the case yeah who gives a fuck it's a vagina yeah it's doing its thing yeah so any girl that's considering if you are that here we go just

clarify like you don't give a fuck no what a vagina i don't care as long as it tastes and smells good we're chilling i'll be down there like licking sucking eating away having a fucking merry old time like whatever's down there you're taking into your mouth yeah you're not picking like oh there's an extra part here you don't give a fuck i'm not looking i'm looking up at you with my fucking hand around your neck make sure you have a good time oh oh that's nice yeah that's nice you're so generous I have so many questions from the daddy gang that I'm excited

because when I ask them to write in questions some of these are fucking good so we need your man advice okay so a lot of girls it was actually daddy gang it was sad because I saw a lot of themes of like why do you guys ghost me and like why is this like whatever

but one of the questions was do you look at a girl's butthole and doggy and are you grossed out by it do you care if it's shaved or not do men prefer bleached assholes that's a lot of questions let's break it down wow do you stare at a girl's butthole and doggy uh i'm usually looking at their waist and like their bum like i'm looking at the whole experience like i usually looking at their waist and their bum. Their butt. I'm looking at the whole experience. I usually look at what their head's doing. If it's up, can I pin it down? What's going on? Sometimes I've looked down and seen a little bit of hair, a little bit of bum fluff down there,

and I'm just like, you know what? My eyes are going up. Is that what they call it, bum fluff? That's what we're calling it. That's what you call it. Bum fluff. Yeah, see some little bum whiskers, and you're just like, oh, shit, the little bum whiskers.

I've never. That was good. No, I did fuck this chick recently, and I would pick her up, and I looked down, and I was like, okay, I see that. I acknowledge it. It's that we respect each other. I'm not going to keep looking at it. Got it. You get eye contact somewhere else.

Yeah. Like the ass cheeks, the waist, and you look away from the, what did you call it? Bum fluff. Bum whiskers. We'll call it bum whiskers. So you would prefer that it's not, you prefer that it's a little kept. Yeah. I look, just quick razor.

Totally. Behind the hole. Totally. Easy breezy. Yeah. But like some girls just didn't know. Do you prefer a bleached asshole or you don't care? I don't care whatsoever.

Like do your thing. Yeah. Yeah. Just make sure you wipe yeah just because even if it's bleached if you don't like it then it might as well not be bleached fuck okay so you're not sherry so you're not staring at her butthole and that's the thing like i think that girls get so self-conscious like when you're fucking doggy like yeah that must feel weird but i feel like it's like look at my ass like this is

an amazing experience like girls you should own it and be like this is the hottest fucking position and you don't have to look at his face like that's a great experience don't be fucking focused men love doggy i always not boom. So why would men care? And even if they do look at your asshole, literally my boyfriend sometimes is like, oh my God, like push it out. Like I love your butthole. Like he loves my ass. Like I'm like, that's great.

That's hot to me. That makes me want to like get nastier. Yeah. So girls know the answer is no. How? Stop. Stop. Okay. stop stop okay um if a guy flakes or bails on plans but always insists to reschedule

is he just not interested i've given him an out a few times like saying all good you seem busy or like joking calling him a flake and be like we don't have to reschedule reschedule but he always insists for context we've been talking for weeks and only hung out twice now but this keeps happening okay it's still fresh as well so you should be top of the priority list like yeah usually two weeks you you should be like number one on the priority list he should be making time i agree he's a piece of shit i was gonna say i think when if a guy same with a girl if you want to see a dude you're seeing a dude so i feel like a lot of girls wrote this in being like guys kept like bailing on them and then rescheduling to

not hang out i a lot of times think too that means he's got a main that he's like seeing and he started talking to you and like maybe he's like i don't want to lose her so i'll keep rescheduling because like they may actually in their mind intend to hang out with you that time but every time it comes to the time that you're supposed to hang out he probably is like i want to go see this other bitch or he's just too tired because he was just with the other bitch and he doesn't want to see you legit like here's the thing i had a girlfriend in australia and i made her my top priority when i first moved to la flew her out made sure that we could see each other like every other week so like if you want it if you want it you'll get it that's so

true that's the thing like if he's like there's no like there's no excuse for like everyone's Beyonce has 24 hours in a day right you think she's not hanging out with Jay-z come on you sausage well Jay-z cheated on Beyonce well I don't I don't yeah so Jay-z literally okay but but Harry I remember I remember last time the girl that you were talking to, her loss, her loss. But I remember you being like, she's the type of girl that I'm finding myself. Like there are people that you will literally make time for. Like you're in a business meeting on Zoom. You will look down under the table, quickly send a text like thinking of you in the middle of the most important Zoom of your life.

If they don't care about you, they're not even texting you when they get up for their fucking lunch break. You can make it happen if you want to make it happen. Exactly. So that's that. That's that. Fuck that guy. Fuck him. He can take a hike.

We've been seeing each other for six months exclusively, sex, dates, etc. He says that he's not ready for a relationship. So I was trying to give him some time to get there. But at this point, I feel like he should know whether or not he wants to be a long term with me he's told his mom about me even yet i'm not his girlfriend what should i do i'm confused and frustrated six fucking months i'm going red again why am i so red on this six fucking months six months and he's months. And he told your mom? He told his mom about you?

I literally tell my mom about a guy the minute I match with him on a dating app. The minute I start talking to a dude. My mom knows everyone. You're not special. Dude, it's sad. No, it's sad. Six months. If he's legit not putting a fucking ring pop on it at six months, you are one of a handful.

You're one of many. You're another notch. You are a notch. And you got to recognize you're a notch. And you got to lean into knowing that. The fact that he is telling you he's not. Fuck your best friend. Oh my God.

That rabbit hole again. Here we go. We're getting angry. Daddy gang. When you are ever in a situation where you're like, he said he's not ready for a relationship. When a man is obsessed with you, he will want to skip the relationship. Be like, I'm ready to get married.

Yeah. Like, you got to get out. You're getting fucking run through raw. You need to go. Tips on how to play with the balls during a blowjob from your experience. What's your favorite? Oh, I was thinking about this the other day. Oh, of course. Awesome.

No, this girl was sucking my dick and the weirdest shit was is she put her palm of her hand and was like okay ladies if you're listening our balls can actually go back inside us so don't do that um if you're if you're giving us head don't put the palm of your hand and and apply pressure like that because they'll go inside and i'll see it pop up beside my dick and i'll freak out because that shit's fucking terrifying when you see your nuts beside your cock. Like, it's gross. It hurts. It's not fun. We don't want to do that.

So she pushed up. Yeah, and I was like, oh, I grabbed her. I was like, yo. Yo, like down. Cowboy, come on. Wow, so she was pushing up. Yeah, so. And when a girl does that, though, like,

I feel like girls are so nervous to do something wrong like oh my god i'm too nervous to even touch the balls because what if i do that and then it's like he unattracted to me like i fucked up like what are you it just takes a bit of communication i think like obviously like giving head and then like taking a break when like when there's all the saliva on there like beating you up while sucking nuts insane great uh not great like it's always good to like nuts aren't a thing that like you really care about but like if you hold them or just like cradle them like a newborn child yes that's fun yeah like just to even like put a little bit of um like holding them like little baby eggs yeah don't put your nails in there yeah yeah like just, yeah. Like, just in, like, a little scooper, and you just let them plop there, and you can,

like, put. Like a baby bird. Yeah. Yes. Two little baby birds together, and then you just kind of, like, pull, like, pull them together a little bit, and just hold them there. Yeah. And you can, like, maybe move them around a little bit.

Like, you don't need to do much. Yeah. Some guys, obviously, like, a little bit more aggressive, but you're saying, just as first starters, girls, literally take your hand and just cup them. Acknowledge that they're there. Yeah, like, let them into the party. Spit just cup them. Acknowledge that they're there. Yeah, like let them into the party. Cover them in saliva.

They're having a jacuzzi. Yes. And you could almost take your thumb, girls, if you want to get a little crazier, and just lightly just start then rubbing one and the other. But that's like we're just – That's advanced. But that's not that. It's very, very easy, girls. Like one is on the dick, one is around the balls, and a light thumb action, and that's all you have to do.

That single-handedly could just, like, bring your blowjob game up a little bit. Legit. Right? Yeah. Just to acknowledge the balls are there. They want to come to the party, too. They hang out. And, like, they don't need to be the attention.

They're not going to be the star, but they want to be. They're the backup singers. Boom. Yeah. And the backup singers need a little bit of light. Yeah, they need to sing a little bit. Okay. That was so helpful um okay here we go yes i am hooking um oh wait do i notice oh do you care if girls shave their vagina not shave their vagina um yeah for sure like like yeah like if you've got a fucking forest down there if it's amazon come on yeah like you're

like oh like i just want to get to the pussy well the thing is like i love eating pussy and if Like, if you've got a fucking forest down there, if it's the Amazon, come on, sis. Yeah, like, you're like, ooh. Like, I just want to get to the pussy. Well, the thing is, like, I love eating pussy. And if there's hair in the way, like, that scares me. Like, I don't want to floss my teeth. Like, I'm trying to go down there and, like, find the clit. Like, it's already a fucking mission. Right.

Like, we're going down there. We're digging in. Do you care if there's a little landing strip? No, that's cute. That's cute, right? That's fine. Yeah, just don't have it on your asshole. Just make sure it's in the right area down there and it's not on your ass.

Okay. That's fair. I think sometimes like a landing strip, I agree, can be cute, but then like the rest can be shaped. Yes. Okay. I agree. Beautiful.

Do you, what is an, what is an acceptable way to not swallow? It hurts me to say that too, because that's against what i believe in and my religion but i i understand there are some girls that are like i just did you say religion my religion it's what i birthed this podcast i had a girl spit my cum back on me she's like gross how do you like it and i'm like i can't control it you're like my babies yeah i felt i felt like a little slut i was laying there i was was like, oh my God. Naked, like flailing around like a cock. And I was like, my cum all over me.

I was like, why would you do that? You were like a girl when you were like cum all over our tits. Wait, did you? So you've had girls though not swallow? No, but I've, yeah. What's like a, if you had to say? A classy way this girl actually did, she took a nut like a champion in her mouth. And she just nodded at me, went to the bathroom, and I think she washed her mouth out with water.

Okay. And then I did it like that. And I was like, fine with it. You wouldn't prefer it. Here's the thing. I don't give a fuck. I'm a freak. If I nut in your mouth, I will kiss you.

Right. I don't care. I think that's hot. I think my guy's like like yeah it's like what yeah i want to make sure i don't taste like fucking sour skittles just like double checking your diet at the same time yeah perfect got my nut also can i double check i'm like on the right regimen let me just get a quick swab so you okay that's there you go girls if you don't want to swallow the best way and that's what i would think is like keep it in your mouth run to the bat not run like book it to the bathroom like fuck no you can just like kind of make your way to the bathroom like if he's a fuck boy spit

it on his face absolutely literally dribble it all over his body and then get the last bit right in his head like peace bit but shit fucking sucked you don't even know where my clit is i didn't even come goodbye that's great that's good advice okay do you ever come when you're like coming and you're jacking off do you think of someone yes always you oh wait i'm in the weirdest mode with this shit right now wait my roommate lauren was just telling me about this she was like every, every single time I masturbate, as I'm like climaxing in the moment, I think like my brain like shoots to someone. And she's like, sometimes it's been like weird revelations.

I like immediately think of like someone that I work with. I'm like, what the fuck? But like she thinks of people. I legit like as soon as I'm on the bus, I get seen. But usually like I'll be watching porn. Got it. And then like imagining it's with someone person that's what this guy said he was like i'll either be scrolling through porn or like going

through reddit nsfw gifs yeah i know that's that's good oh that's good yeah this is actually me i wrote this this is me dude i'm like nsw gifs you're like harry i'm like oh yeah i wrote that because i want to talk about it okay so and then he was like and then i'll oh he said then i open instagram to a picture of a girl right as i'm about to come have you heard of this before i'm the only one who does this so no harry that's normal not when i'm about to not like you don't pull up their instagram now i'm usually like in the moment you think or yeah or just like i don't know like if i've got all the oh no that's normal but right just thinking

about that person have you ever had a girlfriend and while you're jacking off thought of a different girl yeah okay all the time totally harry wait i didn't say harry harry remember i kept calling you harry potter last yes wait so what are you so you have a podcast yes you should come on it i didn't figure out what we need to talk about though i know we talk about like everything like 24 i didn't expose you i just exposed the fuck i know oh my god i know i don't really go on that many podcasts but i do kind of like going on other people's podcasts because i feel like i can like chill not not have to be a host hosting is kind of hard sometimes yeah i'm trying to get used to it so you have your new podcast yeah it's so much fun with abby we're vibing with harry jowsey yeah it's so good what can we find it on everything yeah we're trying to do every tuesday oh every tuesday yeah oh that's

kind of fun yeah it's doing really well we so we're top 50 trending top 20 top 20 now wow oh yeah we're doing the how um how are all your other ventures doing do were you telling me you were doing like tech and like yeah we're doing the most like we're very busy but i'm trying to get this boxing shit right now i just called out Jake dude what I know it's so bad that's why I can't have a girlfriend as well because he will fuck them

and then I'll be upset again if Jake Paul finds out who you're dating he will literally be in her guts tomorrow dude watch I swear to god I'm blocking every girl

someone in this room is probably a rat Before I release this Whoever you've been fucking He's about to start Fucking her tomorrow He actually did DM her Like not

Like a while ago I can't wait to ask you Off camera who it is Yeah Okay wait So you're doing well With your life Yes

Tell the daddy gang You love them I love you guys Thank you so much For all the nudes last time That was crazy Oh I forgot I was so horny

I was like I can't reply to the daddy gang because I'll get myself in a scandal. Dude, wait. You get myself in a scandal. And Alex will be like, you can't come back on because you fucked the daddy gang. Did I tell them to send you nudes last time? No. You did it.

And then they started sending me nudes like crazy. And then I sent you a message like, hey, they're sending me nudes. And then you posted it in your story. And then it just fucking doubled down every minute. Ten pairs of titties. And I was like, like the jigsaw daddy gang knows how to do it they're fired i love you guys um that's really exciting for you do it again i'm happy um harry josey thank you so much for coming on you are a fan favorite now at first when you came on people were like why the fuck yeah and then when that first episode yeah totally well i still do but i think that you really turned a

corner and i do love you and i think that you are such a personality and i love having you on here oh i love you too this is so good thank you so much for having me again thank you harry okay daddy gang that is it for this week's episode um i hope you guys enjoyed that it honestly is so fun to record with harry i feel like we have such good chemistry and we haven't hung out since the first time we ever recorded so it's literally the second time that i've ever seen that kid in real life and we just have such a good time i hope hope you guys enjoyed the content. I feel like we just had a lot of fun with it, talked about a lot of good shit. Next week, I have off. Ironically, it's quote unquote supposed to be my spring break, if that's even a thing.

Podcasters get a spring break. There's not going to be an episode next week. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm excited. So I'm having my mom come out and she's going to be staying with me for the week. So that will be really exciting. I haven't seen her in so long. I guess it would be, I didn't even get to go home for Christmas. Yeah. So I haven't seen her in a really long time. So I'm really excited to see her and for her to see my house and she's going to

see Mr. Sexy Zoom Daddy. I'm semi butthole cringing because she's going to meet his family and that's going to be an entire situation that, yeah. And so it's going to be a situation. I've never done this with a boyfriend. I've never had my family meet anyone's family like this. So I've kind of no fucking idea what I'm doing and he and my mom were the ones that were like yeah we're doing it so I'm gonna I'm basically getting held against my will and it's happening and we're just gonna go for it and I'm gonna black out not no not by alcohol just just mentally and smile and smile through the pain and figure I don't know no I'm sure it'll be great um and also it is Lauren's spring break next week, which is funny. She is actually two weeks

off, which is wild. So it'll be fun. I'm sure there will be a lot of stories with Lori and Lauren and we'll leave Lori home to sleep some nights and hopefully we will get some amazing stories because Lauren is back from Chicago. Lauren got COVID and now she's finally back. She got stuck there for 19 days, which is wild. There's so much happening. And I'm really excited because when I come back, I already have a guest locked in. I'm currently picking the location because I want it to be a very, very nice, chill environment that this person is comfortable to talk about their life in because this shit's going to get intense. I'm excited.

I don't think you guys will ever be expecting this person on the podcast. Daddy gang, go make sure you follow me on YouTube. I'm going to be posting vlog content while I have off from the podcast. Other than that, daddy gang, I love you guys so, so much. And if you're bored, go listen to old Call Her Daddy episodes. I guess I will technically, sadly, I hate to say it, see you fuckers in two Wednesdays.