Call Her Daddy - 119- We Don't Need Men (ft. Josie Canseco)

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

This week, Father Cooper is joined by new LA friend, Josie Canseco. The women discuss Josie’s dad sliding into Alex’s Dms and a formal apology from Alex. Also, Josie explains growing up as the daughter of a famous professional athlete, her childhood in the spotlight, the bullying that ensued, and her journey towards establishing her individual identity. Josie addresses the topic of body dysmorphia, struggles with self love, coping mechanisms, and her journey towards happiness. The concept that, “you only fall in love three times," is explored, as Josie details her first love/ soulmate as well as her last relationship and why it ended. ENJOY!!!

what is up daddy gang it is your single father alex cooper with call her daddy we're back bitches what the fuck is up daddy gang it is your founding father for another episode of call her daddy let's kick this week off with a little thing I like to call fact of the day, personal anecdote of the day. Daddy gang, I have not had sex in almost a month. Alex, did you and your boyfriend break up? No. Actually, that's what makes it even sadder. I still have a boyfriend and I haven't had sex in almost a month. And he is such a fucking asshole. The fact that he won't fuck me, I'm just kidding. It has literally nothing to do with him. And that again, adds to the fucking sad part of the story. I have been stressed about work and I will explain all of those things in the next two

weeks. But I've been stressed with work and it's so sad because my boyfriend wants to fuck me and I want him to fuck me. That's the sad thing. It's like, so why aren't you? Some would say, get the dick, big Al. Big Al, a big dick in the vagina will fix you right up, sweetheart. But you know what? And I hope people can relate to this. Sometimes there's two situations. You are

stressed and you say, I need to have an orgasm. I need that release. Or you're on the other spectrum, which I have been for the past few weeks. And it's like, I don't want to fuck. And I know that's shocking because it's called her daddy. But like, I'm not in the mood to fucking have sex. And I feel bad. Honestly, my boyfriend the past few weeks has been like, I'm ready to not feel like the Uber Eats man. I'm ready to not be the delivery guy in the morning with your coffee.

Like, I'd like to get my dick wet. And I look at him and I say, shut the fuck up. Can you guys tell I'm like to get my dick wet and I look at him and I say shut the fuck up can you guys don't like PMSing the thing is is I know that this is going to turn around soon one because in the next few weeks I'll have clarity on work shit but two bitches it's about to be summer and this isn't just any old motherfucking summer this summer is going to be so fucking psychotic so fucking out of control i feel like everyone is so suppressed everyone is so ready to fucking get naked drink alcohol and fuck and i know there's gonna be people that are like Alex that's not right well that's just I'm just saying the fucking truth you know all of your fucking friends are ready to booty bump the fuck out of this summer I'm pretty sure someone told me that condom sales

are up okay I didn't say it the condom sales said it okay fuck you too. Daddy motherfucking gang. Welcome back to another week of call her motherfucking daddy baby. We have a guest this week who has now become a fast friend. I've never had someone on the show so far that's come in and talked about so openly their dynamic with their parents and how it's affected not only their romantic life, but their life in general. And also, I think it's a pretty cool scenario when you have someone come on that I admit I had my preconceived notions and I thought certain things and I didn't know half of the story. And so I don't know. I think it's cool today in our social media age, like we stalk people or you follow someone

on Instagram that you think you know their life. And then I would go as far to say from these interviews that I'm learning most of the time what you see on social media, it's not only not accurate, but sometimes it's almost the complete opposite scenario. So let's have fucking fun this week. Everybody relax. Everybody go take a fucking shit and then come back and be in a good fucking mood because this week it is fun. It's girl talk. We're chilling. Go grab a bottle of wine. Get yourself some tequila, vodka, shot glasses, whatever you're in the goddamn mood for. A nice blackout or a nice buzz. I don't judge here. let's have a good time introducing josie canseco i i'm gonna be honest i never thought that i would have you on the podcast one because we didn't know each other really like i feel like i've like seen you on instagram i'm sure you've seen me on instagram or even like nope i've never seen you in my life no we have obviously crossed paths a couple times seen each other i definitely knew you were and when you reached out i was like fuck yeah super down so random though and so I think I was thinking about

it and I'm like just to get right into it daddy gang the first real connection we had on the internet was that your dad dm'd me oh my god I I completely forgot that that happened and I remember did you tweet me about it or just I think someone else was like they're just like yeah get your dad so my dad does this yeah and I think he does and I'm like please do not do that to friends people I know younger girls like well and I wanted to first almost actually this is gonna probably throw you up I actually wanted to apologize to you because I feel like I've had time to think about it and I feel like in the, I knew he was beefing with Barstool. Like, I work with Barstool.

So I, when I saw that, I, my initial reaction was to post it. Because I'm like, oh, this creepy dude's in my DMs. Like, what the fuck? And then now. And he was yelling at, like, Barstool and all these people about the fights and stuff. Like, he kind of brought it upon himself. Right, right, right. So then I think in that moment, my initial reaction was like, oh, like, protect barstool

and like post it. But as I've now not, I haven't really gotten to know you yet, but like now knowing who you are also, I wanted to say I'm sorry because I can't imagine being in your position and then like having like we're the similar age and then having to see that like that fucking sucks so now i i'm i wish i could take that back so i you're so sweet i love that you actually like afterwards you like obviously thought about it in depth and you're like wow like maybe like i don't know how she felt about it could have hurt her yeah it makes you feel any better it's okay it did it i honestly like my dad does whatever he wants to do whenever

he wants to do it he wants to do it. He's a public figure. He tweets and does his shit, and I don't really have a say in it. So at this point, I've just kind of been like, I take it as it comes. Like, it is what it is, and I don't really get affected by it. But also, like, this has been a thing that he's like, he doesn't really know who's my friend exactly and who isn't. Because he's not, like, that well-versed with, like, social media and Instagram. But he DMs. He's, like, DMed a lot of my friends and sent that exact same thing come to vegas here's my number blah blah i'm

just like father that is my friend like we're he's just not around like he's not super close so he doesn't know the people i hang out with all the time and so this is like a thing that a lot of my friends have been like yo your dad dm me and i'm like i'm so sorry and it puts you in such a hard position because it's just weird like it's my father he's like 55 86 now I'm just like dad these are my girls are like 20 21 I will I think I was thinking about it because I'm like people may be like wait what the fuck what's going on like if they don't know you if they don't know your dad I think it's good for us to kind of just like go all the way back to the beginning and kind of just start with like where you're from who you are and obviously like your dad is a part of your life and like why at

first you were like quote-unquote known and obviously now you're so much more than just jose canseco's daughter way more than that but i have talked so much on this podcast about dating professional athletes josie and it has been like i've seen but i actually saw because i've obviously did my did my homework did some tape watch my tapes yep um you have nicknames for them yes which I'm obsessed with I was like if we refer to anyone like we can give like little nicknames we can come up with nicknames for you today because Josie doesn't want to talk like straight names which I totally respect we're just talking about Josie we're talking about Josie yeah but um so I've talked about dating professional athletes and I was sitting here I'm like wow like this is going

to be such an interesting interview because I'm sitting with someone right now that is not isn't dating professional athletes but is the daughter of one yeah and I've seen his dating life and how athletes perceive girlfriends relationships and yes doesn't seem great right it's not it's not okay so can you kind of explain like growing up as in that position, like walk us through what that was like? So my parents split very young. They met at a Hooters. It was my mom's first day working at Hooters. And she like just got a little boob job and she was so excited.

And the first day I worked, she met my dad, pretty much fell in love instantly. And he like took her up out of Cleveland, Ohio. Yeah, they met and they were together, fell in love, got pregnant, got married. And then they were only together for a couple of years because I think there was a certain level of like toxicity and unfaithfulness between both of them. I think my dad kind of initiated, I mean, he was an athlete. He was in the road, like back in the day, that era of baseball and like his level of success was like massive. It was like really put baseball on the map as a sport. And, and yeah, and they just like kind of split. And then I was raised in L.A. with my mom.

Single mom just kind of raised me her whole life, me and her. That's like my rock. My mom was like my best friend on the planet. She's like the best person ever. And my dad just kind of always like, so he retired, or not retired. He got kind of like blackballed because I don't know if anyone who doesn't know, took steroids and like got kicked out of baseball and then wrote a book and kind of like snitched on people. But it was actually like the truth. And so my whole childhood with him, he was just kind of always since he stopped playing baseball, like kind of abruptly. He just always kind of had to chase the next opportunity for money and success because he went from being the highest paid athlete in the world to having nothing.

Like I've seen my dad at a point having like, you know, twenty dollars to his name and not knowing like his next meal and stuff and like he's really been through a journey um that's already interesting too because I feel like naturally just to be honest I think anyone would perceive you as being not like I feel like people look you and probably like oh she has it so easy like that everyone thinks I'm rich everyone thinks I'm just like rich and can say goes daughter you have so much money this and that I'm like people look at you and probably like, oh, she has it so easy that her whole life is paid for. Everyone thinks I'm rich. Everyone thinks I'm just rich and Canseco's daughter, you have so much money, this and that. I'm like, little do they know. That is so not the case at all. You're raised by your mother. What was your relationship then with your dad?

Was he in your life? So he tried to be here and there. He lived in L.A. for, I I'd say maybe like four or five years total throughout my entire life to date ever since then he's lived elsewhere he's been uh playing softball like playing baseball like little league kind of like whatever he can get his hands on to play and make money he would do that and a lot of the time that meant not being around me unfortunately but I you know I mean he had to he had to make money I had to do something so I kind of you know I have to give him a little bit of respect for like hustling.

But he wasn't around really ever. So basically, for everyone listening, I'm going to, you can explain now, like your most vivid memory of your father is probably when this book came out. Yeah, it was just like the time where he was probably the most controversial. He had, this was like the year after playing. So he still had money. He was out in LA. He was getting into acting. He was always like the year after uh playing so he still had money he was out in LA he was getting into acting he was always like the playboy mansion writing his book and he was like very controversial but like still successful and so as soon as he wrote the book

and the book came out I got a lot of um heat for it I guess it's his daughter and like heard a lot of weird terms and like very derogatory like well let's first explain yeah the book was basically and correct me if i'm wrong but he essentially came out and exploited the mlb for saying like a bunch of these guys are on steroids yeah and at first he got blackballed because everyone was like what are you talking about that's not true that's not true meanwhile ends up coming out that he was slowly but surely this is true this is true a raw everything you know what i mean like not to bring up names yeah it was all ended up being true so at first it was like oh you're a fucking snitch because you're coming out and but what you're revealing the truth and the dark side of what at that time the mlb was and the guys were testifying and corbyn like i have not i

never have this and that like mark mcguire these people were just like i swear to god i've never done it and it's like but you are and then my dad was so bitter because he was the only one who my dad was obviously like not to like yeah go for it blow smoke up his ass but but he he was like incredible at what he did he was very talented and you know i know the steroid era was like uh controversial in the sense of like did did they really work that hard like did it was it just steroids or whatever but he was great and he lost just like that his his passion and it was unfair that all these other players kept making money and kept getting to play um and he didn't when they were all doing the same thing when did he like why did he stop playing why did he retire so so he got blackballed in the sense that like no one offered him a deal like

everyone um just kind of congregated and talked about the idea of like do we want to play with Jose do we want Jose to go on any of our teams he went from being like highly paid and like entertaining and one of the best players not a single offer no one would speak to him no one would talk to him Mark McGuire his like bash brother boy like cut him off like everyone completely like blacklisted him from the MLB as a whole and I think it was obviously the organization right that was like no we're done with this Josie can you walk me through your life when that book comes out was there bullying etc yeah uh I just like always so obviously being Josie Canseco and having the name tied to me like

I just always heard about my dad but he was never really around like he tried to be and he tried to be there he tried to be there for me and like this is when he was in LA and he was you know local he lived in the valley I think in like Encino or something and I'd see him here and there but like um success and fame and money was always before me and so therefore like like I was like for example like I was like so I cheerleaded for a while I competitive cheering and and he would like not show up to my competitions and everyone's like oh Conseco's daughter. I'd be like, I don't even know. Yeah, yeah.

And I know he tried his best, but, like, he just had a lot on his plate. And maybe, you know, I think sometimes people have kids when they're not ready or, you know, appropriate timing. So maybe that's part of it. Do you remember anyone, like, specifically saying anything to you about when those like what would people say to you they would just be like i mean anything that they could shoot at me for like your your dad's a fucking snitch blah blah fuck you and your family at the time my mom had also like maybe like a year after her done playboy which was like back in its prime like did the cover full nude like hot as fuck like but for so many reasons i know i'm like go mom go mom um but

for so many reasons people were like yeah you're fucking family fuck this fuck you like your dad's a snitch like your dad's like worthless it's like and we'd i'd like be out in public with my dad and people would like yell at him like people had the audacity when we'd be like walking in like a movie theater or whatever i specifically remember a time we were walking into a movie theater like him and i together because we'd had like daddy-daughter dates or whatever. And we're walking out and someone's like, you fucking snitch. And I'm like, I literally just like, at this time, my dad wouldn't really educate me on much because I was so young.

But I knew like something was bad. And I knew something wasn't wrong. But I just like didn't know what. So I was like, why do these people hate my dad? Why is my dad like one of the most sought after, spoken about kind of people right now but I just I was just young I didn't get it and I didn't get why I was getting hate for it either and then Josie that is like the like I'm trying to put myself in that situation because I

feel like at a young age that's not a normal situation to have as a child that like you're walking into a movie theater and people are screaming at your dad yeah like i i can't even imagine what mentally that did to you and like psychologically because you were an only child right yeah only child no no siblings just my josie okay so like i was like just dealing with some family shit the other we or have been dealing with it and i have not publicly talking about right now but like i was thinking to I was saying to my brother I was like I have no fucking idea what I would do if I didn't have my siblings because I look back at really hard times in my childhood when like my dad works for the NHL and when I was younger the NHL like went on a big strike and so my dad lost his job and I remember like all my friends growing up were really wealthy and when my dad lost his job like I

couldn't go to my parents and be like hey can I have that extra 20 to go to the mall and like there was there was a really hard time in my life where i was like watching my parents struggle but i would turn to my siblings and like talk about it with them because that's all you have right technically it's like people like family is like unconditional and it's trusting and loving so i but i'm like but you didn't have siblings so like who the fuck did you go to in those moments where you're like in california your dad's nowhere to be found and like your mom is your mom but it's your mom like you didn't have siblings like who did you go to in dark times um you don't know one no not really i just kind of like i think that kind of translates into why I have this like tough shell where I just like kind of don't give a fuck.

And I know when to like shut off and detach and shit. It's because like I didn't really have anyone to go to and resort to. And like my mom's upbringing with me is also a different story. She was around, but she was also kind of like my dad. Okay, so I'm going to kind of put him on blast. I feel bad. He just, he never took care of us, never paid child support, never nothing. My mom had no job, no nothing, and had to raise me, single mom, with like nothing.

So she was kind of, you know, she was hustling too. She had to. She had to work. She did Playboy. She ended up doing a reality show that was like successful as well. And she hustled, but that means that she had to be absent as well a lot of the time. So it's like you're just like alone. So yeah just little josie just me now i like i love it i appreciate it because that's obviously probably what i'm used to but yeah i just i mean i just

i don't know i just i couldn't even tell you friends maybe like yeah i was gonna say like do you look at your friends like with greater value like they're like your sisters i'm such a i'm such a loyal uh ride or die with my friends like if i if i love you and that's reciprocated and the respectability reciprocated i'll like die for you type shit like when i connect to someone because that's so important to me and it's so rare and because i don't have brothers and sisters like that is priority is being an incredible people i'm an incredible person to the people who are there for you and love you. And like now I have so many good friends.

I mean, actually not so many. That's a gap. But I have a couple of really close people that I can go to for anything, anytime, anywhere. And they're there for me. And I would like literally kill for them type shit. Okay. My other question was because this is we're going to get into the dating shit. But I wanted to know steroids are obviously a drug.

And I was wondering, like, were you able, when you were younger and in your life, to separate, like, your dad on when that was the case versus, like, basically, like, who he was, like, when he was on drugs versus not? Like, or was it all one for you? Because, like, I feel like it must have been hard to differentiate at such a young age of, like, who he was, like, when he was on drugs versus not? Like, or was it all one for you? Because, like, I feel like it must have been hard to differentiate at such a young age of, like, why he was acting. He just, like, kept it all from me. But I did. So he had, obviously, steroids comes with, like, you know, mood swings a little bit and stuff like that.

And I definitely, um, excuse me. Um, I definitely, I definitely saw it. And, like, I knew he was on steroids because, obviously, it was, like, public knowledge. I'm still his daughter. I still know what's going on. I just don't know, like, to what extent exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it was tough.

He was moody and he was always in his head and he was bitter from, you know, he already had a reason to be upset and be bitter, much less, yeah, he was just kind of, like, I just didn't know what the fuck steroids was. Like, I didn't know exactly how much he was just kind of like i just didn't know what the fuck steroids was like i didn't know exactly how much he was taking like finding out that he was taking like way above the appropriate dose to get to a certain point of a certain build you know right you obviously also on top of that being public it was public that some of your dad's relationships were like volatile and intense yeah how did that affect you at a young age and like how has it affected you with men i guess like it's very that's a very public topic i know is probably very sensitive and we don't have to talk about it no i'm just

trying to make sure the way i um obviously articulate it is is the way i i mean and i'm getting my point across properly because no one's ever asked me that question yeah and this is my second podcast um i think that having the kind of dad i did whether it was watching him with girlfriends with the cheating or the the you know i i don't know if he's ever you know laid a hand or done anything like these are things that i kind of like out of sight out of mind don't i don't really talk about those kinds of i just don't know you know what i mean but um i think just seeing how he was as a partner made me have this bitter taste to men being like i will never be that girl that gets like played and like i just kind of i i move with a more of

a masculine energy i think and i'm just like i don't know i'm just not gonna like stress about a fuck boy and like be like just the way i treat them like i'll have a thing with a guy and i'll like be talking to them date i won't even sleep with them and i'll just like you know we'll like talk and this and that we'll hang out and then done boom like just move on over it like all of a sudden one day things will just change i'll just be like on to the next type shit but maybe that's from seeing my dad be like that and be such like a fuck boy because you saw like the inner workings from your of a man and how men feel i mean granted my dad's probably not a great example no but like guys but that's that was my example you know what i mean that was that was my father figure growing up so definitely made me move in a more like cold

kind of like a lot of guys have been like wow you're the girl version of me like a lot of guys I've like hung out with her day to be like wow you're like literally me and girl for him and I'm like I know I know because you're going about it I kind of I that's I not that it's I don't know if it's healthy or not but I say I don't know if any of it's healthy either I'm just like just myself let's hope for, I think, like, I've said at times to women that are looking for advice on, like, there's so many guys that are playing me and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Well, guys are like that. Guys move the way, like, I kind of move now.

They just, like, talk to a girl, get her hopes up. The girl gets feelings and then they bail. Like, I'm on the other end of that now. And I'm like, if you get feelings for me, please. Please. Stay away. Get yourself out. Please.

Just don't call me. Like, don't don't text me like I don't know also when I fall for someone or if I like really start liking someone has to be reciprocated because I'll never be the first one okay like I'm never the needy one I'm never the one that's like oh like calling you every day let's hang out blah blah like I know and it's not even a game it's just kind of like how I am with dating like I love boys I love dating I think it's fun but I'm never that girl that is gonna chase one or like go out of my way to like really be with one or have you ever told the guy you loved him first yes yes really yes um my my last relationship wow was that hard for you to say that it was hard because the first time I said it he didn't say it back yeah but he said it ended like a week later and like whatever but um what was that like it was i so it was in a point where i was comfortable enough to say it because i knew

that we loved each other we were getting so close to a point where i was just like i know he like loves me and has love for me we're just it's just a scary thing to say especially i think for him it was just like you know a moment a hump to get over um and you took it no so when i said it and it didn't take it back i was just like ah that is a shit feeling i don't want to feel it ever again but i'm i'm honestly like the older i get the more i'm just like happy i'm just like down to express myself if i feel a certain way about you i'm gonna let you know i'd rather be an open book than play games and like not to you know what i mean like if I feel something I'll tell you I'm not afraid I actually agree with you in the sense of like I would never say that I love someone first unless I knew it was going like I knew it we had like a joke about it yeah yeah so you weren't like

out of nowhere the crazy girl I love you and it's like read the room bitch like what is going on self-awareness don't say it now right no i feel you totally here we go you're a scorpio i am i was like literally reading up on scorpios you have to tell me if this is true um i'm a very cliche scorpio so i really i think so yeah okay they said scorpio women are universally known as the sex goddesses of zodiac josie oh my god renowned for their passion their strong libidos and their exceptional prowls as lovers sex is extremely important to these women and sharing a sexual connection with their deeply bonded lover is necessary for them to feel completely fulfilled in life that being said scorpios don't really love to sleep around

nor do they take sex casually. So until they find their soul match, a Scorpio can feel a little adrift without a partner. Is that true? Yes, the first half a little bit. Also, like in the sleeping around sense as well, like it takes, so I have a rule. Minimum. So minimum a month of knowing someone, getting to know them. And like if I'm seeing someone or talking to someone, minimum a month to two months,

depending on like how close we get out quickly before I end up sleeping with them or doing anything with them. Okay. What I posted on my Instagram the other day, which I was dying because so many women were like relating to it. I've heard that before. Have you? Yeah. So I've heard it. So typically, I think I saw a TikTok about it.

It was like someone like public speaker, just like a TED type thing being like your first love is so do you want to say what it was yeah yeah okay so i came up because i was looking for books i'm like i think it would be fascinating to start reading books and then relating it into the podcast because we love to be educated yeah yeah so the book is called you only fall in love three times and apparently the three people is number one is the soulmate. And the soulmate introduces us. Is this the first love? Yes.

The first love. It introduces us to the dream of love. But somehow what seemed like it would be happily ever after wasn't meant to last forever. And it's like your soulmate. And they showed you what love. I can relate to this. Right. It's so weird.

And isn't it crazy? I'm thinking of the person. I'm just like. Yes. And they just showed you like what love right and isn't it crazy like i'm thinking of the person just like yes and they just showed you like what love was then the next is we're so consumed with making the karmic love work that we often fail to question whether it even should work as painful as it is to accept this love that felt so right in the beginning is actually all wrong for you and so a lot of girls like right this is crazy i'm just like i'm applying it to my life. Cause I've, I've had two people that I've been like in love, truly head over heels in

love with, like would marry them type shit. Wow. And so I'm like, my third's next. And like thinking about that, I'm just like nervous. Yeah. Because the third one, you're like, where is he? The third one guys is the twin flame comes into our lives. And often we don't even know it's love because dah, dah, dah.

It's too easy this is the love who helps us to accept ourselves just as we are because this is precisely what they do everyone's like alex this is fucking call her daddy what are you doing right now no but i read this and i was like oh my god and then josie dm'd me and was like oh my god i can already think of the two of them so can you walk us through again we're not naming names but i think you kind of walking us through a relationship that you knew oh my god this person is like my soulmate i love this person and it didn't work out and how you walk away and kind of dissect just like some of the pros and cons and all the things because i

think a lot of girls are like wait but if it's your soulmate what the fuck i know that's what you think and you work you work i promise this i COVID. I swear. I just hit the puff last night. Stupid thing. Um, yeah. So my first relationship, my first love, like my first like real love was four years. And he was with this musician who was like always on the road, always traveling, always in the studio, working, touring, whatever, like kind of that, that, that musician life of like, you know, girls on the bus getting fucked up every night, this and that. Um, but we were so in love and so obsessed um and it was i think it was just kind of like it started off a little rocky i think the trust wasn't always there because both of our jobs and what we did we were young i was 18 he was like 25 26 um okay and we just like we're so in love but like in a controlling way like i just knew like we started off we like formed bad habits that we didn't know how to break as the as we progressed more and more like years and years down the road um and we would just like fight all the time and what I learned also is like so we would party a lot because he was like kind of like a party boy and that was like his brand and whatever and and we travel the world together

and party but we would argue when we party and I think because the alcohol um intensifies the emotions and the environment the girls and throwing themselves at him whatever it was like it was just it was hard because we were so in love but we were in one of the most like toxic environments for what our love was and for what it needed and we were also like young i was learning i was growing up like i had you know my coping mechanisms back there for like back then for heartbreak were a lot different like if we we were super on and off so whenever we break up i'd be like well i'm gonna go out in la and like do this and go to this guy's after party and be around these people and blah blah like fuck you type shit like more spiteful and like toxic behavior absolutely because you're younger and like exactly all i knew i was just like fuck

it um and then we just kind of so so my process with it was that we were together for four years um and we fought so much and just kind of couldn't we try to make it work so many times we're just like let's try this let's do this let's make it work i love you enough like let's just fucking do it eventually i fell out of love like eventually i just kind of was like it's not there for me anymore like i i kind of just fell out of love um loved him to this day like love him to death will always like want the best for him but passion wise and like for me to like continue to be with someone it just wasn't there anymore and and even then i tried to stay a little bit longer i think we both did and because you know loyalty and love and that

unconditional the idea of unconditional love and marriage is like you go through hard times like how do how are people married for like 50 60 years yeah you think it's hard when you like because i'm sure every i feel like every couple does like you talked about probably marriage and babies and all the things. All the time. I think there was a point where he was, like, about to, like, propose to me. Like, we talked about, like, we were, like, we had promise rings and this and that. Like, we were just, like, so in love but so young. And, yeah, and so we just kind of, like, eventually one day, like, something popped off.

And, like, I remember, like, going on his phone and finding something that, really bothered me and I was already like I was already ready to go I was like one more thing happens and like I just see myself like having that switch and it's flipping and it's done right and um and then yeah then that happened and I just kind of was like I gotta go one of us has to go this is bad one of us has to go and if one of. One of us has to go. And if one of us doesn't go, we're going to end up hating each other. And like this can't have to think about myself and be selfish. Selfish. Finally. So when you talk about leaving, because that topic is there's so many fucking layers to that.

The amount of people, women, men, I don't give a fuck who it is. When you make the decision to leave something that you were so in love with someone there's history there there's years there and that I think is a lot like people are well I just that was four years of my life I can't leave them it's so hard to see like what life is going to be like without that person did you were you the type of person that then went like did you guys keep texting a little after the breakup like how did you handle moving on because a lot of people write in being like it's so fucking hard to go from being in bed with someone every day they're your best friend you love them and then what you're just not supposed to talk it's literally like morning to death like how did you go how did you go about it so obviously i was

a bit younger my breakup i went as soon as we broke up i was just like i tried to replace him i tried to replace it i was just kind of like dating I started seeing someone like I even got to a place where we were like exclusive kind of um oh right right away right away wow I mean not right away but like right away like pretty much but also like keep in mind I was already had been checked out of this relationship for like maybe like five six months like at least and was just kind of like waiting to like us to finally separate. And also when I was younger, and maybe this stems back to like, you know, not having a father figure, always like my one figure, my one sense of stability within a man had just collapsed after four years.

Someone I thought was going to spend my life with, it all collapsed. So I was like, I need, maybe it was another sense of like love from a guy or a man or just someone to like make me feel. Yes, just someone to, like, make me feel. Yes, like a male presence just to make me feel happy and good and complete. And, like, when I was younger, stemming back to, like, dad shit, maybe I thought that that's what I needed. And I've learned now that it's, like, so not. So it's so within. You need to be on your own for a minute.

Exactly. And go through that healing process. And we definitely talked a bit. It was more toxic and we would argue because he would hear, like, oh, you're with this guy, oh, you're with that guy, blah, blah. Like, what are you doing? You fucking hoe, you thought this, that. You know what I mean?

Like, the fucking jealous, whatever. The emotional, yeah. So we fought a lot. But then there were times, like, you know, where we would try and hang out a little bit. But as much as we, like, even, like, you know, not recently, but not recently but like we all up until my last relationship we kind of were just like dabbling with the idea of making it work again maybe or hanging out but every time we did it just wasn't there for me it just wasn't it it wasn't like

that fire wasn't there anymore it's like the soulmate that taught you what love is but it's not right yeah i think totally i do think that's fascinating josie because like now as you've gotten older it's interesting because now you're almost like you were now in a relationship and now you're single and instead of running to a new guy you're I mean you're like please I'm not I'm not and I really correct you there you see TMZ this week I've got a new boyfriend I'm like fuck no I am I'm being better about it like I'm not out here like sleeping with anyone I'm not you know I'm making it very clear that I'm pretty emotionally unavailable in the sense of just like really wanting the best for myself and I want to focus. So this is the way I look at it. It just none of these people I've been with are my person and I and I find closure in that in itself and acceptance and I'm just like, that's cool.

Like so my dad taught me growing up because because whenever I'd be sad about a boy, like a high school love that I thought I was in love, but it was like, we were like 14, 15, it wasn't real. And I was distraught about it. I was just so upset. My dad's like, Josie, you're going to fall in love so many times. You're going to have so many romances and boyfriends and relationships. Do not do this.

And to this day, that sticks with me. So anytime anything falls apart, I'm just like, I'm good. I'm good. We're good. Whether I have someone or have myself, like I love myself so much right now. And I'm so proud of myself for getting to this point of, you know, just completely supporting myself, being strong mentally, like, you know, being very independent and, you know, getting through those, uh, you know, unhealthy coping mechanisms that I used to have. And I'm just like, good. No, that's interesting what your dad told you, because it is so true. And I think it's so hard to tell people that

until you experience it. Like, I have been in love before, and I have a boyfriend right now. And, like, those people that I was in love with, I, at times, right after maybe, I would be like, oh, I regret that. But, like, now... You go through the motions.

Right? You're bitter, and you miss them, and then you're like you go through the motions right you're bitter yeah you miss them and then you're like fuck them and then you're like you're neutral and then you're like holy shit thank god that happened let's talk about your career did you feel like a pressure when you were younger because of the name that you had oh yeah I just yeah because I feel like a lot of the celebrity kids are um you know well off they have a safety net something to fall back onto if they don't want to like bust their ass and work um and that was never the case like when I first started modeling I was uh had like maybe a hundred dollars a week to spend in New York and and I was in model

apartments where it's like six girls shoved into it's like three girls per bedroom we're all in twin beds and it's just like coexisting with all these other girls that don't even speak English or they like are smoking in the apartment like I had nothing and and everyone was like oh she's Conseco why doesn't she have this and that and I'm like because I don't have because I don't have that I don't have I don't have that but I felt like I had to always make it seem like I was okay. Like, I love to, like, not fake it till you make it, but, like, fake it till you make it. Like, put on a straight face and make it work and get a cute style on going to castings and stuff and play the part.

That's so crazy. I didn't even think about that. Like, you, everyone has a, like, an image that they think you are. Like, you're rich. Yeah. You're beautiful. Oh, my gosh, she's got, like, the greatest life. And then you then you're saying like it actually was kind of the complete opposite in terms of having yeah and so then wait so you were in it with them and at what age um 17 18 and then uh i would say by the

time i was 19 i kind of like had enough of a clientele was making enough money i was actually making like pretty good bank like the reason why i actually like gave up everything else started modeling is because it ended up being a full-time gig like some of the first couple jobs I did were uh massive big deals especially in like the fashion industry over in New York um wait that's amazing yeah no it was great money and you're like I'm gonna stick with this we saw faith and I was just like I just I worked and worked and worked and I and I stayed with it and I adjusted to New York and I just stuck through with the model apartments and I was just like I want it I will admit I wouldn't say now but like prior to educating myself more on what models go through I feel like a lot of people are probably like listening and

they're like hey like you have a so fucking easy like you have a perfect body and you have like no imperfections can you explain a little bit though about like what really is the truth about a modeling career and like what it does take and and body image and what you go through on a day-to-day basis of trying to keep and maintain a certain image because i think people think it's so easy and i'm going to i know there's that stigma it's like oh you model like whatever but it's actually like and also it comes with also like don't you think people like oh you're not then you have no talent and it's like what yeah like I think people think because I think maybe because the Instagram model has shifted now it's like a blurred line of like what an actual model is but I came up in the more traditional way that was just like the grind to

get there and not having much uh was hard and it's definitely like for I also don't want to give like a sob story like me no but um i can't remember the last time i looked in the mirror and was happy with how i looked because of because of the industry and the competitive nature especially new york city when all the girls are so fucking tiny and they go above and beyond to be that small at least this is more traditionally back in the day when that was like what you had to be like you walk into an agency they put a measuring tape around your waist your bust and your hips and if you don't have the right numbers you're not getting it you're not even meeting the directors of it whatever like it was incredibly incredibly strict

and that was hard for me because I was an athlete and I was a dancer so I had like more built naturally I'm just like a little bit not thicker but like athletic athletic yeah yeah exactly it really was a lot mentally in the sense of, like, what it does to you. And, you know, you get told no, no, no, no, no. But to get told no so many times, I can only imagine the dark place. You get so defeated. Yeah. And then in New York, when all the girls are out doing, like, drugs and shit and partying,

it's so easy to get dragged into that life in New York, especially in New York, because all the guys, like, all the models can go wherever, whenever. Same like in L models can go wherever whenever same like in LA you know if you're a hot girl you can do whatever the fuck you want um so when you get told no no no and you start going into it then you start spiraling into that dark place it's like let me lose more weight let me try to like figure out how can I the weight thing because you're also so for castings for shows you're in a room and there's like 100 girls there and you've been there for like six hours waiting just to walk in a line for a casting director because of how important that show would be for your career. It's just a show. You're just walking. It's not even a campaign. So shows also, like, they don't pay.

Shows pay, like, $500. But shows are so important for the resume in the fashion world, and it's just, like, walking for Gucci is, like, they don't really pay. But it's, like, you just walk for fucking Gucci. You know what I mean? Right, right. Because then it can get you a huge campaign. Exactly. It leads to bigger and better. But, better um yeah you sit there and all you're just sitting here and like half the girls don't speak english like you've never met anyone there's hundreds of girls in the room and you're just like and all of them are just like so perfect and tiny in their walks and you're just like i'm looking at these girls and i'm picking myself to pieces picking myself apart looking at all these other girls and like their thigh gaps and and you know fat on their stomach they're like they have none like

where'd it go there's not yeah it's just like and what that does to you mentally because you see the girls who get the part and that's that girl and you're like fuck is that is that what I need to do to book this role because you want it so bad like that feeling of booking a show or booking a campaign and getting that thing that you like were aiming for it's just like a sport when you finally like win the super bowl it's like totally finally walk the bs show or something I don't know I just body dysmorphia I just kind of like don't there's always something to tweak and fix and I'm I'm like progressively working at getting to a mindset where I'm okay and I'm I feel beautiful I'm confident it's not like a confidence thing i'm definitely like i love myself i love my soul i love mentally where i've gotten and how i've gotten to this point of like mental strength yeah

but it's such a dark spiral because it's so dark because it's all based on what you look like like nobody gives a fuck about your personality you can be the biggest fucking bitch you could be a sweetheart no one really cares no one cares if you're educated no one and that's why you don't speak at all you don't speak to anyone you don't have a conversation if you do they think you're too friendly so they're like next they want someone who's more like just you yeah and i remember that's when we before we started um talking daddy gang i was talking to josie and i was like i i watched you on youtube and i thought you were so articulate and she was like oh my gosh thank you because I feel like you don't get really an opportunity to like use your like it's your brand is obviously more your model like your pictures are perfect like you're amazing and then it's like to hear you speak it's so cool

because you have so much more they always get nervous because I'm like kind of breaking out of that shell and being just being in LA now again and being part of people who are so public with their lives and you know being on YouTube or whatever maybe like I'm getting used to it but it makes me nervous especially with how accessible information is right with people and cancel culture like I get nervous to like and god forbid if you don't have the the opinion of the majority then you're like shunned you know what I mean god forbid like even like politically like it's just it's just hectic and it's so hectic right now I try and stay out of it because I just try and stay in my own lane. And in person, I'm like, I'll definitely, you know what I mean?

Like talk about topics that I'm passionate about and like into a conversation. I'm like pretty opinionated. But online, I just don't think there's a point to like I get influencing people, but I just it's hectic. It's it is always something a response, a tweet, likes, whatever. It was like, have you openly talked about dealing with depression and anxiety? Anxiety, yes. Not necessarily depression because, I mean, I've hit those points. I've hit, like, really, because I can be emotional.

I'm a little Scorpio, so, like, I can get my feels. And I've hit those points, but, like, I really, really try so hard to not get to those points because I'm disappointed in myself uh just the things I do the things I'm capable of when I am like in that dark place and I try and stay incredibly optimistic you know the glass is um half full half empty and look at the bright side of things and I've learned it took a while to train your mind to be this way but could I ask you and you can say no but like when you were saying you you see like you recognize when you're like going down that dark path like could you give us

an example for anyone that may be like oh i do that too i just like it's hard to say like one example like one specific it's just a domino effect of like me being hard on myself because i'm such a fucking critic on myself like i get so hard on myself like i'm saying like well i can't remember the last time i looked in the mirror and was like satisfied with what i look like like that's not cool right that's not right so whenever i see myself having those thoughts i'm just like joe's like you're good but it's just like a domino effect of like oh like like this is this is wrong and this is wrong and oh i gained this weight this week and oh like my skin's dry and whatever and spiraling my family and then financially and what if I you know what I mean like yeah then it spirals everything starts I just think like I have like a door for the most part I have a door and for the most part the door

is closed to all things that are out of my control and things that will bring me down but sometimes the door is cracked because mentally whatever I'm going through whatever whether it be a breakup or family issues like that door opens up and I'm in a vulnerable place things fucking pour in naturally and it's out of my control and that's when my anxiety kind of like some days it's like crippling like I don't want to socialize like I've been super introverted lately too like really not I have been too I feel like I'm just like because the pandemic I'm just like I was in a relationship but now I'm just like I pain I kick it I'm yeah I just also like I'm just in a work mode like I cake. Yeah, I just also like, I'm just in a work mode. Like, I don't focus. Do you like being alone?

I love it. I do too. I love it. But yeah, so when I, because I think like, I am like, you know, only child alone, like not much family, whatever. Oh, that's true. But when I find that person, like I said, with like friends and stuff, I'm just like, oh, hi.

Like, I'm just like cuddly and more sweet and just, you know. Like, you're so good at being on your own, but you welcome a partner i cherish having those connections with people i think like love and relationships and loyalty is some of the most most beautiful things that you can bring to someone and get out of someone have you ever been in a situation where you're hooking just exclusive like not exclusively you're hooking up with someone but you don't know if they're hooking up with other people or no you're always yeah of course of course I mean well yeah yeah yeah I have and because we don't really have the conversation and this is the thing also like I'm never it takes a while for me to be the one to like bring it up yeah because I'm cool too like I'm cool with us doing our own thing but once the feelings grow and it's been like a couple months

of us doing the same thing talking every day and like two three months comes along and like we haven't done anything about it then I'm like do you ever ask yeah no I've asked I've asked I've asked how do you ask um I was just like I'm trying to think exactly what I said it's like it's great for random yeah no because it's like I think it can really turn people off just like I've had guys ask me and then I'm more turned off like yeah it's a weird it's a weird question and it's just kind of like it's hard because if you're enjoying yourselves and then someone asks but like I get why they're asking and I've asked at sometimes but it has to be I don't know it's hard when when did you ask well it was um it was three months of talking to someone every single day uh we were pretty public at the time also and but we

had never had the like exclusivity conversation and so eventually i was just like yeah so um it was actually like valentine's day the next day and i was like didn't know if like he had a plan or what and we were together the night before and i was like yeah so um well what are we doing here like i would just like to know for my sake because i also like I think sometimes it's good to clarify what it is because, God forbid, like, one person slips up. Or if I were to go do something and hook up with someone else, then he's like, well, fuck you.

You did that. Bye. Like, let's clarify it so it's healthy and not, like, a messy situation. Because always being in that middle area with, like, feelings but no label is always, like, can get hectic. And how did it go? Not good. He was like, this is all i have to give right now this is like this is this is it this is like i i can't do anymore and i disappeared from his life

i just like ghosted full blown because i'm like that also like in the way uh he went about it just kind of like rubbed me the wrong way and i also like, it took so much in me to even ask that question and then to be rejected. And then, and then I was just like, fuck this. Like, this is not what I'm doing. I respect that.

I do think it's like, if you, if you are, cause I think a lot of times people get in a situation where they want to know, but even no matter what the answer, sometimes they're not going to walk. Yeah.

So like if you're listening and you want to ask him, like, hey, what is, what are we? And he's going to say, oh, I'm just not there right now. Well, what, know what you want when he gives you answer A or B. Yeah, of course. Because sometimes girls go into it and they're like, what are we? And he's like, oh, like, I'm just chilling. And she's like, okay, okay, yeah, me too. I'm just chilling too.

Yeah. And then she's all upset. Yeah, yeah right yeah all right right yeah totally and then you go home and you're crying and it's like if you go into it i that's my one advice if you're gonna ever ask someone what we are no kind of like josie knew like if he gives you that answer you knew you were kind of gonna walk that is way more healthy eventually i mean after three months of time and after like you know if you're like traveling with this person like we were like pretty much fucking like we were doing it we were sleeping together fully like together and then when it comes down to him being like i don't want a relationship i was just like that's such a fuck boy thing that i'm not gonna put up

with because i know i deserve something different i completely agree so i was just like yeah i'm good on all that and then he came back around because they always come back they always fucking especially always come back around especially all of them when you act like that when you're like okay like when you don't really care because i don't really care i'm not gonna stress over like josie how to tell if someone wants a relationship or just a hookup the amount of women that write into this podcast and they're like i cannot tell if he wants a relationship if he wants a hookup i feel like that question in itself gives you the answer but like let me know you just it's just being like kind of it's hard reading a room a little bit you have to this is the thing you

have to know guys you have to know how to play their game and you have to know how they move in order to kind of know when they want a relationship when they don't but the thing is that some guys are just like they'll like lead you into thinking that that know when they want a relationship and when they don't. But the thing is that some guys are just, like, they'll, like, lead you into thinking that that's what they want, which I've learned is just being upfront from the beginning. If you don't want it, that's not what you're looking for. Be honest about it. Do you, is that what you ask guys?

Like, would you be upfront and ask a guy that? No, I'm the one who says it. I'll be, like, like, as of recently, like, if I'm, like, dating or this and that, I'm I'm just like I am not looking for a relationship I suggest you don't get feelings I is that mean I don't mean I'm just like this is why you're on the show I love you thank you this is why you're here Josie no I do I did I say that to their face I'm just like don't I'm telling you right now I'm not in a place where oh you're gonna be safe with me like did you say that before you started dating your last ex-boyfriend or no uh no because i wasn't in that place i'm i'm in this place because i'm fresh off a breakup and i'm not looking to like replace it with anyone new i'm just like on my own shit but i think before i was like yeah yeah yeah because i think

a lot of girls will say that but don't mean it and that's a fucking issue when you're like i don't want a relationship and like my friend lauren she recently got out of a breakup and she's been saying that to guys and they don't believe her they're like oh yeah sure haha like you're gonna go fall in love and she's like i do not i'm want a relationship that's me right now to a t right and you're like how do i make it so clear and they think it's a game they like want to go after even more like oh she's emotionally unavailable she doesn't care watch me like make her fall in love. I'm like, I warned you. Right.

I'm really not the one to fuck with. But I think that's good to be upfront about it. But I do think, like, if you're on the other end of it, you can't tell if someone wants to be in a relationship. And I do think that's kind of the answer. Like, I feel like a guy you'll know. Yeah. If someone wants to be with you, they will be with you. They'll show it within their actions, not just words.

And I think that you'll know. And also, it just has to be, like, recipro like reciprocated like everything kind of has to come together as one and you'll feel that connection yeah and typically if you have a feeling like a red flag in your gut a red flag in your gut there's a red flag in the gut there's a red flag in my gut i get i get what you're saying you know i'm saying there's a red like you should just like you know be aware of those and be aware of what guys are capable of like emotionally they work differently than we do and just kind of um just don't prioritize it like let it happen organically and don't be like oh does he want it does he want it like just play it cool be that cool girl like don't be too needy don't be too up his ass like let him focus on his

work and let him come to you right you know and you do the same like go focus on your be that independent boss bitch who like doesn't isn't looking for a man but if the right if the cards you know are played properly and it happens then because don't i feel like when when you feel yourself chasing around someone and being more in their shit it's like pause and be like you need to be so up your own asshole that you don't have time to be up someone dead ass and like because you have this age right like so we have so much work to do and so much like so much growth like internal personal growth yes like ladies if you're listening to this like and

you find yourself constantly wondering if what he wants then you're not focusing enough on other shit why do you have enough time to even question that if he doesn't make it clear that's probably not the guy you want to be with regardless if he wants to be with you he's going to be with you he wants to call you and see you and talk to you he's gonna call you like it's not it's not that hard you know there you have it what is what is next for you you're going to shoot um in mexico yes i'm going to mexico on uh what day is it it's on sunday going to mexico on sunday for the week to shoot this cover that i can't say what it is but i'm really excited about it yeah i'm excited also just like a little mexico trip and you're single right now i am single very Like, really just focus on me.

How long do you think that's going to last? A while, I think. You do? I mean, I think. I don't know. It's kind of hard to tell. I just don't have anyone. Unless you find that twin flame.

I've had people, you know, since my last relationship that I've like really cared for and really gotten really close with. Oh, wow. But like I said, I'm just like, I can't give myself up to a partner the way I'd like to right now. Like, I have so much personal growth to go through and I have so much I want to accomplish and I find myself being way more uh focused and motivated without a partner like getting my shit done and like sometimes you get comfortable in a relationship and you you know kind of just like you're like oh

I have this safety net of this love and this person you don't really crush it as much as you should be crushing it and i agree so yeah i'm single i'm single for a while tomorrow i'm like i'm in a relationship maybe change the podcast josie thank you so much for coming on telling us your story you're amazing thank you okay daddy ying that is it for this week's episode i hope you guys enjoyed Josie's story, the insight, and just her overall vibe is fucking amazing. And I'm so fortunate to have met her and been able to sit down with her and have a new friend. So thank you, Josie. Again, go show her love in the DMs, daddy gang. Next week is about to, honestly, I don't even, I'm not even going to try to explain it all you need to

know is next week is fucking therapy time bitches next week we are really looking inward and we're going to have a lot a lot a lot of introspective moments because if you follow me on social media you know i've been recently obsessed with a show called Couples Therapy and Bitches. The therapist flew across the motherfucking country and she's coming next week to sit down with the motherfucking Daddy King. Oh my God, I can't even say it without getting chills. Daddy King, you know the motherfucking drill. I will see you fuckers Next Wednesday.