Call Her Daddy - 15 - Escaping the Friend Zone

Episode Date: December 19, 2018

The girls get into masturbating and sharing toys. They also provide the blue print for men to escape the friend zone. Finally, they discuss the real life horror story that has become their neighborhood. 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy what is up daddy gang we are back another episode of call her daddy we have a change of scenery yeah if you guys watch the video version of this, we're actually in a different studio today trying it out. It's a little dark, ominous, a little sexy. It is a little sexy. We have another woman in the studio and we're like, I just want to preface it. Like, I hope you know, like what we're talking about this week. Like we don't want to scare anyone. But she's on board. She's on board. We fine support us she said only two people have ever gotten kicked out of the studio and we're like uh well that may be us today um moving forward to our shit show of a weekend shit shit show you guys this past weekend alex and i decided to switch

it up a little bit yeah we had reservations at this pretty exclusive restaurant and i'm not saying that to sound cool trust no i don't think they're gonna think we're cool once i hear the story sovia a lot of people know this new york is just one of the most exclusive places in the world in terms of like trying to get in places absolutely so we were feeling pretty fucking high on ourselves the other week we're like we're going to one of the best places. Kylie Jenner goes and she's in town like we're in this shit. So we show up to this place and basically we didn't really give a shit about the food. Right. The whole point was to get into this like it was like a speakeasy type of situation upstairs at this restaurant.

And that was the goal. Because this is a thing think about how many people dm us and are like hey i'm coming to new york this weekend where should i go and a lot of times people will google like the hottest places in new york at the time if you can google a place in new york it's not fucking cool if it says that it's the hot spot it is not the hot it's a hot spot, it is not the hot spot. It's a tourist spot. The places that are the cool places are literally where you Google and either said it's closed indefinitely or it just doesn't even show up on Google. So Sophia

and I went to this restaurant with really no intention of wanting to eat. We were ready to party. We pre-gamed. We're like, all right, let's fucking go. Let's have a couple appetizers and get upstairs. In order to get invited upstairs, which is what we heard is what happens. You can't ask to go up. They invite you. Yeah. It's like either like the wait staff, like someone will approach you and ask you if you'd like to go upstairs.

Right. So Alex and I decided that we would sit there until someone approached us and invited us. And when it was the most shocking thing you've ever seen two people trying to make their dinner last as long as possible is not easy. Just let's start with the drinks. Sophia and I sit down. We're feeling great. He's like, what would you like to drink, girls?

We're like, this may take us a while to figure this one out. Can I try this one? No, no, no. Send that back. Can we try this one? And then we end up finally after he's like, girls, what do you want to drink? We're like, I guess we'll just have like vodka soda. Right.

And he like pulled the wine list away from us. He's like, OK, so then it comes to the appetizers. And we are like, this is going to take us a while. Pulling the classic girl like, I don't know what the fuck I want to eat. It's going to take me a while. And our waiter starts to catch on already into the appetizers. So we order. What do we get?

Like a tuna tartare? We got our tuna tartare and a burrata. We were trying to make this appetizer last so goddamn long. We were just moving food around the plate. We were just moving food around the plate. We were like hiding food underneath the plate. Guys, it was pathetic. Sophia and I are sitting at this table and every time the waiter comes by, we're like, he's going to catch on. So when he would come over, I would like take the biggest scoop of food.

I'm like, Sophia, eat quick, quick, quick, quick. He's going to catch on. I'm like feeding Alex from across the table like, mmm, delicious. And he's like, you guys have been working on the same bite of food for the last 30 minutes so finally he was like you guys are ordering your main but what do you want what do you want we're like sir like we haven't even gotten in to the bar all right well here you got to order now so lo and behold Sophia and I look at the entrees and what do we see we see a fucking risotto that next to it has parentheses and it says we'll take an extra 20 to 30 minutes to cook Alex and I were just like

our saving grace is gonna be this risotto this risotto is gonna get us 20 minutes to come out to us we'll take you know 35 minutes to eat it the waiter comes and he's like ladies what would you like and we're just trying to play coy you know we're trying to like act cool and we're like we're trying to sign between the bolognese and he cuts us off so fast and he's like you're getting the bolognese and like takes the menu away and we're like wow sophia's like oh we're like but the risotto he's like bolognese and that's it ladies and literally takes everything off the table and we're like wow at this point it comes we don't eat anything of our entree and finally he's like all right the check and sophia's like sir what about dessert

how could you not offer us dessert? He comes by. He gives us two options. They're both disgusting. Yeah, I think he did that on purpose. Right. I think he did, too. He, like, pulled, like, the most disgusting piece of cake.

And I look at this thing like it was the fucking Mona Lisa. I'm like, I have never seen such an incredible artistic piece of cake ever. Sophia literally goes, sir, we're going to need a big piece of that guy. So then he brings out the cake piece and Sophia and I are not touching it. And Sophia was like, should we ask him for another piece? I'm like, no, Sophia, we haven't even touched the fucking cake. Okay, so just we're now about to get caked out. He's like trying to take the plate away from me and I'm trying to pull it back.

And he's trying to pull it away. Sophia's like, I'm not done. He's like, you haven't fucking eaten one thing this entire. So finally, guys, we realize it's our time to end. Game over. People next to us on both sides have, we've had like three different parties come and go. And Sophia and I are just chugging along. So finally, the dinner is over. And we're like.

We're 10 vodka sodas deep. It's a fucking $500 dinner at this point. I'm like, wow, we better get invited up. So I start flirting with this old ass waiter. Alex and I go up because there's a bar in this restaurant and we're still hoping. And Alex is like, you know, three vodka, four vodka sodas. And she's like oh my god you have to get a drink with us upstairs he's like what is this he was like 82 and i'm like

sir like you are so amazing you've been so hospitable like i need you to come upstairs and this man is like yeah yeah after my shift i'm like no right now bring us up and he's like so confused so it was funny then sofia is like i need to just shift i'm like no right now bring us up and he's like so confused so it was funny then sofia is like i need to just go outside and we need to like re-evaluate our life we accepted defeat yeah we go outside and lo and behold someone approaches us outside and says ladies would you like to come upstairs i just about shit myself i'm like there i just spent 500 going upstairs we found out it has its own entrance so we just spent 500 three hours flirting with an 80 year old man pissed everyone off trying to get invited and all we had to do was go outside

great we go upstairs how many people were up? How many people have you had to count? Well, first I want to say it was like a long stairway to get up there. And Sophia and I are like poking each other. I'm like, we made it. We made it, baby. We're like New York. And we push open the doors and there's not one fucking person in this way. And we go up to the server and we're like, what's going on?

Like, is there like another upstairs that like we don't know are we gonna go through a secret passageway and they're like it's art basil ladies what are you doing here like punching sophia in her face i'm like shut the fuck up we're just a disaster alex and i we just need to go back to the local bar and like no we do with our own kind no it guys it was one of those things like it was a wake-up call that we first of all we're not shit but we're also not shit at all in new york right like that shit was so rough and we spent so much money but you know what we tried yeah i think that's our little story we'll try again we'll try again we'll give it another go but we will we'll keep you guys

updated yes this is one of our most highly requested topics actually because i think it's just so relatable to everyone yeah so let's just dive right in i want to say this is going to be a little bit more geared towards the guys that are listening yeah because when is a girl in the friend i know every guy is like if you're friends with a girl and she wants to fuck she's he's gonna fuck you absolutely it's not gonna be like i don't know we've just been such great friends they're like oh you want to fuck and be my friend amazing okay so i think it's safe to say that a lot of guys literally just chill and marinate themselves in the friend zone it's so sad to see it is almost pathetic at sometimes that guys get so trapped so deep.

You guys need to stop playing the game that you're playing. I think the biggest problem with a lot of guys in the friend zone is you guys are naturally thinking if I please this girl, if I am her bitch, if I do everything for her, she's going to fall in love with me. It's like pretty much any time you're like picking up a girl's dog from the groomer and you're not her boyfriend, you're in the fucking friend zone. Absolutely. You should not be like doing favors or anything like that. So I think, yeah, I think the biggest misconception for guys is like if I'm just there for her, like a shoulder to cry on and this and that. It's like eventually. No, no, no, no, no, no no no no which is a little stalkery and creepy that's that's true too

okay so escaping the friend zone here are a few things that i personally think guys you need to start doing if you are trying to get out of the friend zone with one of your girlfriends as i've said it before the queen of red receipts or read receipts however you want to pronounce it i think immediately you need to be the queen of red receipts or read receipts, however you want to pronounce it. I think immediately you need to be turning on your red receipts because the girl needs to know she's going to text you sometimes and you got to leave her on red. And just like you're just you're not available all the time. You've got a life, too. She's not your girlfriend.

Emphasis on she's not your girlfriend. So you don't really owe her much. She's your friend. So, like, don't do it all the time. But red receipts are a huge deal. So obviously turn that on. I think every fucking person listening to call her daddy needs to just leave her on red just leave her on red just make her think you don't care exactly like sometimes you're just beautiful or you could be like fucking another girl and you just can't

answer because you're getting fucked okay so step two and i know sophia you were a little like weary on this one but i swear it works because it's been done to me male x milf hunter always does this thing we're like with girls if it's so obvious you're in the friend zone obviously if it's the beginning and you're trying to differentiate like oh could i fuck this girl or not don't do it but once you are very set in stone in the friend zone guys you are going to start calling them nicknames that are so not cute like bud and bro and you're not going to make it obvious i don't like you're always like punching or being like bro bro that's too fucking obvious i think i've had guys kind of pull that like way too early on where i'm like i see what you're doing like stop exactly giving me

the shoulder punch like sup dude i'm like okay So don't be fucking transparent with it, guys. But what I want you guys to do is start occasionally being like, hey bud, like what's up? And girls, if they have any fucking real interest in you deep down, they're going to fucking hate that. Because even if they call you out and they're like, why are you calling me bud? Like why are you calling me bro? You'll be like, what do you mean? Like we're not friends? You are my bro. You are my can't i can't like call you bud so that is a huge thing and i know guys you may be like wait is that really gonna work i promise you it works it works

for male x it will work for you you just have to do it sparingly and at the right time and then the next big hitter that a lot of guys may be a little afraid to do but i swear it's gonna fucking work and it has to do with sex why not you know call her daddy podcast here what you're gonna do is you're gonna hold her down and fuck her no no you're gonna punch her in the head knock her out okay okay sorry sorry okay we gotta behave okay um yeah i know we're in a different studio right now so i'm like oh shit it's just i'm joking no no i know i know we're in a different studio right now so i'm like oh shit it's just i'm joking no no i know i know we're just okay okay so what you're gonna do is you

are going to find the hottest nude that you've ever been sent by a girl okay a video or a nude it doesn't matter and about like 10 minutes before you leave from hanging out with her one day you are going to be like holy shit wait let me send you this girl like do you think i should fuck her or not she sent me the fucking hottest picture and you show her a girl that is like obviously hotter than her because no it is it is so fucked up another hot girl like is it no it does because this is the thing every single girl you and i sitting here every single girl at some level is insecure okay and every single girl also craves attention so when your first like when your formal form of attention is from your male best friend and he comes at you and he's showing you how attentive he is being to another girl the friend is going to freak out if she does have any underlying feelings or wants to fuck him

so you're gonna sit down you're gonna show her the hottest fucking nude you have and be like dude like don't you think this girl's so fucking hot like should i fuck her like she's nasty like we've been sexting make up shit if you need to fucking do it and then you leave her with that in mind the biggest thing that you guys are gonna do is you are going to basically watch what happens the minute you show and then the minute you're leaving and afterwards look at her body language when you show it listen to her reaction if she gets defensive if she's shitting on this hot girl that is step one to her being insecure and being a little territorial when you leave if she brings it up again at some point in

a texting conversation clearly she can't stop fucking thinking about the nude or the whatever video that you showed her don't you think that's oh fucking effective you know what i'm like thinking about this now and i think i would totally be a sucker for that right if i'm just thinking about it like if i had a guy friend and then all of a sudden he was like showing me pictures of like this other hot chick yeah acting like i wasn't shit right him i kind of like he doesn't see no no excuse me which i need to really go to therapy for that one but that's no it's true here nor even even aside from just um the whole friend zone thing you and i like male punter male x sent men remember when he sent us that amazingly hot video of that girl oh my god he sends me fucking nudes and videos of girls all the time the nude yeah this it was a video and this girl

was completely naked well first she put her phone up on self like timer right and she like set up her phone and she like steps back from it completely naked well first she's in a towel right that was the hottest part alex obviously has really studied this one i don't remember the details she put the phone up on her dresser press play goes and she's like her hair is wet from her shower she has a shower towel on she backs up and then she just literally drops the towel yeah i mean the confidence on this girl was so sexy like she could have not have even been that hot but like the confidence was oozing so she was just doing turns she was like getting on the bed and just like putting her butt up in

the air yeah she was like grabbing yeah she was grabbing her ass her tits she was like rubbing her body then she like slowly crawled onto her bed you know i mean how many girls when they do a nude they try and act super like coy and they super coy. Right. And you want to get your best angles. This girl was like, this is me. And you can see the whole fucking show. And Sophia and I, mind you, we were at brunch when we were looking at this. And you and I were hovering over my phone like, whoa. I know.

Whoa, look at what you did there. Yeah. It reminds me of that scene in I Feel Pretty, Amy Schumer. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, my God. Yes. And she just gets butt ass naked. And the guy's like, you are so hot because you're owning all of this so basically every yeah

every single girl if they're gonna look at another girl's nude if we're we're all doing it so you naturally are gonna compare yourself so your girlfriend is immediately going to think oh wow either she's hotter than me or he's your best friend yeah sorry sorry yeah yeah um and so that is a huge way i think in order to get her on a level of having decide well fuck do i want to be sending those things to him or do i want to be getting fucked by him so i think it's a really effective way i yeah another example that i think is so important is girls. Okay, I don't mean to say like prying on their insecurities. It's just a little.

Sorry, because that's fucked up. I think you are kind of crying. Okay, so when your girlfriend, sorry, your friend-zoned woman, what do we call her, whatever. Just the friend. When she, say she posts a picture on Instagram. Guys, you are not going to like her pictures. Every picture you're not liking and commenting or liking.

Like, you need to stop being her little bitch, okay? Stop giving her the attention she wants. Instead, you're going to make her feel insecure. And like male ex always does, he'll put like the crying laughing face, like two of them on a girl's picture oh so he's never like beautiful no not even a light nope he doesn't like it he just laughs at it and then immediately he's like the girl will text me and be like why why did you like comment that on my picture and he leaves them on red and then like later he'll text me like hey bud like what's up what are you up to and the girl's like what what this is really depressing because i think i would

be a sucker for all of this exactly like if a guy did that to me i would dm him and be like what's what why and you'll you'll feel insecure now i know what you're doing so now you can't do this is why our podcast is fucked because we give guys perfect advice of how to fuck with a girl and we're telling girls how to fuck back right but girls well no i'll we can get to you guys but guys that is a perfect example of exactly how to kind of fuck with your girl girl friend um and she's gonna get insecure i know this may not work for everyone and i know i talked to you about it a little bit last night but basically male x kind of explained that his go-to when he was friend zoned with this one girl for so fucking long like he was like she was studying she was in grad school studying like third world

immigrants and their transition to the struggle of the united states i don't know so i'm like really in-depth bullshit and that's not bullshit take that back sorry sorry sorry insensitive um in just a very intense subject so he was like i could give two shits about the topic she was studying but i made her come over and he was like i just told her like i want to learn about all of this i want you to tell me about it let's get some wine and i acted like i couldn't have been more interested in what she was saying i had her like put her feet up on me i got us wine we were just hanging out like friends and then this is the move he pulls and i'm a little back and forth on this because i think it only takes a certain guy that could do

this his go-to for friend zones is this is gonna sound weird but the massaging okay Okay. Alex tried to talk to me about this. And if I had a guy ask me to massage him, I would tell him to get lost. Okay. So keep in mind, he plays sports. He's an athlete. And so when he has these girls over, he's always like, Oh my God, like I'm so sore from lift today. Like, do you mind? Like, can you just give me like a little massage? Like, come on, come on. Like, I'm sure you're so good at it. And's like the minute the minute that girls physically touch a guy and like they fuck no no but like you just something changes like when a girl starts like massaging him i guess he was like immediately i see their body language change they're a little uncomfortable but i make them feel so comfortable doing it and then i'm like do you want me to do it and he'll be like why like he's like why are you so tense

like you have so many knots like he goes into it and then he's like eventually the girl that he was fucking with the third world country whatever that was his friend they fucked and he was like it was the easiest thing because the minute you even he says he pokes girls sometimes just like touches them a little bit like hey like and they immediately fall for it i mean i get it like once if it's someone in the friend zone and then there's physical touch being involved like i get that yeah i just i don't know about them i think i think in college this is a perfect go-to in dorm rooms people are hanging out like that shit's so easy i don't know for you and i if a guy told me to fucking massage him i'd tell him to go fuck himself like bye no but i think that's a perfect example right i think the thing is is guys think over giving the girl they want to fuck attention is gonna get them fucked and you're doing the

wrong thing you dig a deeper grave when you when you do that you need to act like you don't give a shit about her sometimes and make her think you're fucking other girls you don't have time to be her friend i agree okay so guys glad we got that out i hope you guys start to comment laughing emojis on girls selfies start getting massages and prying on their insecurities okay all right next i think we can both agree that every single guy let's say from like age 12 has been beating his meat all the time every day every single guy has been in his or has in his room somewhere a crusty ass t-shirt or towel it's his go-to if you pick it up you could split it in half it's so hard right the thing is is that everyone has a different way of right my ex-boyfriend yeah oh would he had this blankie called elmo he had elmo and he had grover and it was like this certain type of material it had to be really really soft he would lay it out

on his bed and he would hump his bed and come from humping his bed with this blanket with no lotion he doesn't use his hands i think like he kind of puts one hand down like underneath him like to just help hump the bed easier but that's how he would come and i remember he would tell me i'd be like okay like what like what are you doing tonight he'd like, hooking up with this sexy redhead. And he'd send me like a picture of Elmo the blanket. What the fuck? What the fuck? Dude, that's weird.

I mean, it's so obvious. The entire world is so open about guys jacking off. Yes. Jerking off, masturbating, whatever. Yeah. And they just fail to mention that girls like to masturbate too what yeah wow they do i know there are so many guys that don't even know girls own toys and masturbate just as much as them yeah girls do and you know what it's all about the

toothbrush tell me yes or no dude i think back to how many girls is that like the first toy they ever used? So many. You got like an electric toothbrush for Christmas and you're like, what does that do? That kind of feels nice. Right away? No. I know. You didn't even try it on your teeth a couple times.

You're like, ooh. You just shove it down there. I mean, I hope all the kids, though, that start with that thing are at least cleaning it uh yes but what do you mean like the bristles it's like the bristles go you're rubbing the bristles on your clit no I'm kidding no so I mean listen there are so there are so many toys and there's so many things that girls use right and I feel like when you're younger you just kind of grab what you can. And sometimes it was an electrical toothbrush. Sometimes you were in like the jacuzzi jet or something.

Have you ever done the jacuzzi jet? Maybe when I was younger, but I just remember having like, you know, my peers when I was younger. There were the girls that were like a little sluttier and they tried it first. And maybe a little bit older. And they're you know what feels really good is like when you just kind of get in the press up against the jacuzzi jet that's hot we okay so speaking of ways that girls masturbate didn't um your one friend use the bathtub all the time like that was her go-to yes she would like go underneath the bathroom faucet and just like spread her legs that was like her thing but i don't really understand that because i feel like

it that there's just no way that would be that powerful i there's i feel like there's definitely some that are powerful i guess it's the time of fucking head you're working with well or like yeah the same thing with a shower head like so many girls are into using like the so not so so not the one in our apartment oh that's another fucking reason we need to move out of that shit hole because we don't have a good shower to masturbate right we don't have a first of all we don't have somewhere to do a take a bath so we don't have a bathroom faucet we don't have a detachable shower head that's why when we get a broker you know in a couple months we're literally at the top of our list.

The shower or the bathtub. We need a detachable showerhead. You know, normal people in New York City are like, so they're like, what's the main thing? You're like, oh, I want to live in West Village. I want it to be a three-bedroom, two-bath. You and I are like, the showerhead needs to be detachable or there needs to be a tub so I can shove my clitoris in there. Can I please get in here and feel the water pressure? Alex Broker, give me a couple minutes, please.

Let's move forward. Okay, so some girls use a bathtub. Some girls use a jacuzzi jack. Obviously, the classic go-to is a vibrator. Right. You just get it at your normal sex store. Yeah, I would say for the most part, that's what girls use. And I feel like that's their...

I mean, Lauren, our roommate, bought me one for my birthday it i think that was last year she was like your boyfriend never makes you fucking come here you go and she was the best last year that's like kind of like that's you know well i had one before it but she really like stepped it up and like she brought me to a sex store she took you from like a 25 like stupid one to like the fucking yeah she like dropped bills she's like girlfriend stupid one to like the fucking yeah she like dropped bills she's like girlfriend you need to come more often than once a month and i was like honestly yes so vibrators are good but you don't use vibrators no and you know what i use is the womanizer the one and i want everyone to listen up because just the name itself shit will change your life the womanizer

what could i say about the womanizer alex that you don't already know i know i'm over here i'm like it'll change your life how do i know that tell them let's just say the womanizer has been passed around more than rachel bush herself any whore that you know in your local hometown, well, this womanizer has been passed around more than her. In all realness, vibrators weren't really my thing. I tried out this womanizer. It has like this suction cup action. Yeah. Like focuses on your clit. It doesn't, it doesn't go internal. So what the fuck do you do internally? Uh, you know, that's just up for the daddy to just imagine and I'm going to leave it up to them.

So I got this womanizer. And I was bragging about it to Alex for so long. And our roommate. And our roommate. And finally I was like, you know what? We're all girls here. I'm going to give you guys a little go. So we all took turns.

And we all, every every night would pass around the womanizer obviously we're cleaning this shit guys sanitize yeah but all of us we were all using the same toy we were using the womanizer and we would talk about our experiences i am like holy fuck this shit does wonders compared to a vibrant i mean like there's different sensations i care about my friend but now you won't let us use it now i made you guys get your own i was like i'm not doing this like i get it monday wednesday friday thing okay no i i understand i mean no if you guys are looking for like a new toy if vibrators haven't been working the womanizer is the shit yes although it is kind of bigger and i don't know if you can incorporate that into sex which

we can get into in another episode of girlfriend you can incorporate anything into sex i can shove that up your butthole what okay so those are ways but okay it looks like an ear thermometer it literally exactly like the one you get at the doctor right you can like put up to your ear okay it's brilliant um but don't you think that this brings up a great point of it is so known to everyone the common man that guys jack off and for some reason it's so unacceptable to be like and girls masturbate and jack off too like what the fuck is that no i totally agree it's it's you know i don't think girls are as open about doing it yeah girls are insecure or embarrassed about the way their vagina looks absolutely how many girls alex have we had

right in dude it's literally either like oh my god is my vagina too pink is it too brown is it to this or it is with regard to the the labia or the right the flaps as you like to call them people always get mad when i call them like what do your flaps look like alex the other night for research purposes because we knew we were going to talk about this sophia and i are like looking in our pants sitting in our family room you know what someone get us a ruler. Right now. We're at bar so late night right now, so low-key, no one's in the office.

Maybe let's go find a ruler, and let's measure our flaps. I will post our measurements, and we can all fucking compare. I'm on Instagram. No, but honestly, Go ahead. I was going to say,

one of my best gay friends, I remember, described a vagina as an open wound he was like they're so disgusting they're like open wounds no so like that's depressing that was just a side note i'm hoping that straight guys don't feel that way about fucking pussy but i'm sure they don't well with that it's like there are vaginas that look like the hot dog bun it's like what you see on porn i think most porn yeah is the slit then there are girls that have lips or like i know labia that are longer than others yeah and like people joke it's like oh it's roast beef but your aunt is always like your aunt's like older and she's like oh my god uh fucking more meat bitches totally love that so and i listen every vagina is different every dick is different fucking uncircumcised big small

not circumcised absolutely i mean i guess because guys are always fucking holding and like doing whatever with their dick yeah from a young age guys are having this yeah holding and like doing whatever with their dick. Yeah. From a young age, guys are having this. Yeah. They're like doing a sword fight with each other with their dick. They've got to hold it every time they fucking piss. Yeah. They have to look at that thing. Girls don't have to look at their vaginas.

So it's like an out of sight, out of mind thing. Girls get to know your fucking vagina. You really could avoid your vagina at all costs. You could. But call her daddy if you have not gotten to know your vagina. We approve of you sitting in front of a mirror and fucking get to know that bitch. Totally. Do a little introduction and like fucking just start.

Just start to get to know her. Get after it. I agree. I also, isn't there a thing with the clit? Like some girls have a hood over their clit. Yeah. Yes. Some girls clits are way bigger than others.

Some are like tiny. There's like a hood. Yeah. Or like a rooster thing. Yes. Some girls clits are way bigger than others. Some are like tiny. Like there's like a hood. Yeah. Or like a rooster thing. Sorry. That did not sound cute. I'm not shitting on you guys. I feel like we sound so immature.

Like a rooster and the hot dog. And the roast beef sandwich. Oh my God. And we're on a farm and we're eating some shit. We're going to the deli. No. Yeah. No. But what we're trying to farm and we're eating some shit. We're going to the deli. No, yeah. No. But what we're trying to say, there's no, first of all, don't compare your vagina because they're all different.

I mean, obviously if you guys want to like out of sleepover, whip out all your labias and be like, oh, this is what one looks like just to get educated. Absolutely. But yeah, don't be insecure about that shit. No. And if you're fucking with a guy who has any problem regarding your vagina, he can go fuck himself. He that's it's like, guys, you can't control if you've got a small dick, a circumcised

dick, a big dick. It doesn't matter. So neither can girls, because I know it's gotten to the point where literally girls consider getting surgery. And I just, yes, disclaimer, call her. Daddy is telling you your vagina is great as long as a dick can go in there and you've got a clit you're good i i mean just the gospel is what i hear when you start speaking out and enjoy yourself and your masturbating so we have

talked about our neighborhood and our apartment in the past i want luxury luxury um i want to update the daddy gang on a little discovery you and i saw this past month so pretty much there are quite a few homeless people where we live which is like any you know yeah it's normal in new york right um but these particular homeless people are doing something really interesting there's kind of this phenomenon going on okay if you walk outside there is at least one person on every street corner standing there but not really standing there because they're completely hunched over. Okay. So just imagine someone living and breathing. They're alive. They're alive. Don't worry. But they're completely hunched over to the point where like their head is almost touching the ground. Okay. But, and when I say that they're standing there they are standing there and not moving for four to five to six hours

at a time without budging okay it is pretty crazy when you're walking when we walk out of the subway we are entering an episode of the walking dead it is the walking dead it's like terrifying except they're not walking they're just standing there yes they're full zombies that just have no movement whatsoever now you may be asking yourself why so i finally i was hanging out with like one of my guy friends and i'm sure one of them like growled at me and i was like okay like what's happening like what's going on and my guy friend was like oh it's k2 and i'm just like k2 there's always there's always like new drugs like popping up 2cb from from that Kanye West song.

Yes. Someone brought that up to me. I was like, what the hell are you talking about? K2. It's a form of synthetic weed. I asked him where you would get such a drug. Can't imagine. He said, oh, you can just pop down to your local deli and they sell it there.

Ah, the local delhi. Loving. I can't wait to try it this weekend. What the fuck? You literally can just go to the deli and I guess like it's just really prominent in the neighborhood that we live in. It's very available. Yeah. What is it, 25 cents?

And all these homeless people are just popping in. I have no idea. I don't know if it was like a horrible strain. I guess it's kind of like in Brooklyn now. Dude, these people are out of commission for hours. We leave for work and we come back and they're still in the same position. And they just stand there hunched over. I really think I have a picture or video that I should post.

So if you guys ever are in New York City. And you're trying to get a little opposite of fun and just stand hunched over for 12 hours. Go to your local deli hang out with the local homeless folks and pop some k2 dude we sound like we live in the dumps the slums i know okay so yeah you know fun things in new york we thought we love living here but these are just the little pleasures that we get every here and every here what where what here and there all right beautiful questions let's get nasty with it this first one is going on last week's podcast when i'm sexting my man what is best to use can i say his dick his cock his penis etc inside me like which one is better um do not fucking

call it a penis no don't know that is too technical of a term it's the same with vagina that's literally like sex ed talk right we're not fucking around with a penis you're like i can't wait to lick your penis later cock or dick dick. I've heard you say piece. Like, take his whole piece. I've never really used that one. I occasionally throw that one in there for sure. It's definitely my vocab. But I'm not fucking around with like, oh my gosh, I'm thinking about your penis right now.

Your penis. Your wiener. No, that's like our joke. Dude, people are starting to go. We're so immature. We need to get off this question. But it's too technical of a term. Yeah, you're sexting don't say penis um my boyfriend always makes his venmos to me private so nobody can see them red flag or nah abs fucking lily

that's fucking weird that's weird yeah she's fucking cheating on you no no no uh that's shady that is kind of weird if he has other if his entire venmo is private then that's one thing but i do think um yeah obviously there's something that he's trying to hide if some of his transactions are public and then everything he's sending to you is private and maybe it's not necessarily he's cheating but he wants to hide yeah from someone absolutely they're doing whatever all right totally question my fiancee admitted to me that she cheated on me eight years ago while she was wasted at a party she said she wanted to clear her conscience before we get married am i crazy for being super pissed about this and second guessing marrying her okay

i don't even care about the guy why the fuck did she admit that why would you admit that eight years later that's insane i feel like alex and i like i the rule should be after two years the cheating just falls okay i don't even know cheating falls off your right two years sophia i've never been in a relationship for two years let's try two months two months and then your slate is clean you go two months without cheating but for real no that's the thing where it's like clear your conscience go to a church and and repent for your sins eight eight years later you can take that shit to the grave absolutely fuck that give the worst advice oh but but the guy did ask should he be pissed

no fuck that move on you're gonna marry the bitch anyways just do it or you know what she might have been doing is saying it was eight years ago but really it was like eight days ago you know how people do that just to kind of feel out like how bad what's his reaction gonna be yeah i probably have done that all right um okay next okay x-rated question oh when i'm nailing my wife's vagina doggy style it hurts really bad for her deep inside. How can I fix that? I'm seven inches and a little thicker than the center of a toilet paper roll. Sir, in order for us to give you good advice, I think we're going to need to see a picture. We need some photo evidence because I need to see what a little thicker than the center of a toilet paper roll is.

How many times do you think that guy has explained his dick like that? Or how many times do you think he stuck his dick inside the toilet paper roll? He's like, nope, it must be a little bit thicker because it can't fit. I think maybe just lube it up and don't go fully in all the time. Half the time, girls owe better if you aren't in the full way because that's not going to hit your G spot. So I don't know, maybe. And also like easing into it.

Yeah, don't. I mean, that'd be like a fucking anal. You just shove it in there like that's not going to hit your g-spot so i don't know maybe and also like easing into it yeah don't i mean that'd be like a fucking anal you just shove it in there like it's not well we gotta talk about anal i know we need to stop teasing it we just got to do it yeah okay last one um is it totally weird if my boyfriend still has nudes from other girls i never asked if he still looks at them but it really annoys me that he still has them on his phone. Should I ask him to delete them? Sweetie, if you have listened to episode four, Nudes Never Die, guys, you will get married to a man

and he will still have nudes from his exes. No man is ever going to delete his nudes. It may be somewhere else. It may not be on his phone yeah he might delete the nudes but he's gonna have it on his friend's phone the ipad the computer yeah and 30 years from now he will still have nudes from other women i feel like girls have such a hard time hearing no i my ex-boyfriend used to be like oh my god like i just jacked off to like my ex girlfriend's like video and i was was like, okay. Oh.

It really doesn't bother me. Why would it bother me? No, I know. I mean, some girls, I think that might bother them, Sophia. But you may be a little special in that area. But I do think it's like girls at this point, you got to just fucking accept it. Guys are horny. They're disgusting a lot of the times. And if you ask them to delete it, they're just going to be more awkward and hide it and like download an app i'm not gonna run and delete all my nudes that i

have from guys oh no no it's a dick pic but i'm not gonna go delete it so girls just get off your guys about that like it's there's just no point ladies gentlemen i guess that's it for this week. Yeah. What is next week? Christmas? Yep. We might have a little special something coming your way. We might. We might. Guys, every Wednesday, new episodes of Call Her Daddy.

We love you guys. Don't forget to write in and let us know what you guys want to hear about. Yes. Make sure you write in your questions. Thank you guys so much for listening. We love the daddy game daddy game