Call Her Daddy - 21 - Sex Tapes & Cucumber Fun

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

On this weeks episode the girls reveal a crazy Vegas story including a cucumber and Rachel Bush takes to twitter once again to bash the girls. Also, Sofia has a GYNO appointment that goes terribly wrong, and the girls talk role play, flacid d****, and fake IG accounts. Last but not least, the girls come to the rescue to tell you what to get your significant other or fuck buddy for Valentines day! 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy daddy gang what is up it is alex and sophia back at it again hi daddy gang all right you guys i am pretty sure i'm suffering from toxic no you're not no you're not she's been walking around all morning she's like i'm dying i'm like you're not dying you guys have no idea what happened to me yesterday i went in for like a pap smear and i was like feeling some kind of discomfort down there but like I didn't really think anything of it the doctor pulls out an old tampon out of my vagina that has been in there for over a month okay so that happened to me yesterday I'm not doing great guys Sophia sent me a picture of her legs up on the like operating looking table and she was like you are never gonna fucking believe what just happened it was so embarrassing and i know i shouldn't be embarrassed

because like it happens but it was just the craziest nasty it also felt really crazy being pulled out you gave birth to a tampon no and i like i the fact that it happened to someone i'm just so close to someone so near and dear to my goddamn heart guys i live to tell the tale though and here i am all right so we've got a little bit of drama this week and to the like honestly this wasn't even our drama no this is fucking bullshit we were just, chilling at our house, like eating popcorn. Minding our own business. Right. So guys, a lot of Barstool went to the Super Bowl this weekend.

And Sophia and I stayed back in New York. And I guess we've talked about Rachel Bush on our podcast before. If you do not know who Rachel Bush is, she's an Instagram model that is married to an NFL player. And she fucks around with a lot of NFL players. Yeah. So before, I guess, a couple weeks or months or something before they got married, she fucked Antonio Brown. And then, I guess for revenge, her husband, when they were married, fucked this college girl. And on our past episode we weren't

even really throwing shade at like what she looks like or what she posts on the internet we just had an issue with the fact that she basically goes after the woman that slept with her husband and we were just saying you know what girls solely get mad at the other girl and they like don't think that their man should have any accountability it's like craziest it's like you literally are married to this man and he vowed to you this girl doesn't even know you so anyways so um our boss our boss dave portnoy he said something at this event that i guess rachel bush was on the guest list and he said rachel bush hates to call her daddy girls okay and that was when and tweeted i guess someone quote tweeted him so that's something our boss said alex and i had no fucking clue what was being said and i guess rachel bush saw this and she retweeted with a comment

and said stop using my name for clout i don't i don't fuck around with these, what did she call us, like bug-eyed? No, she called us bum-ass bugs. Bum-ass bug-eyed hoes or something. That's a first. I've never been called that before. What does that mean? We have big eyes? I don't fucking know. So anyways, all of a sudden she says, stop using me for clout.

It's the craziest thing when she's saying that we are using her for clout, but she's literally giving us the biggest shout out of all. And she just keeps retweeting and re-commenting and commenting and liking posts about us and meanwhile we're in our beds like what's going on yeah don't you low-key feel like rachel bush is the kind of girl that would be like she hold my fucking hoops if we saw her at a party she would totally throw some punches at us yeah and like alex are not exactly the most equipped no to get in a fucking fist fight that's just so not us. We'd be like, what are you doing?

She'd be like, oh, my fucking shit. Like, let's go, bitch. And I'd be like, I don't care. We would run. We would. We would run. And she looks fucking slow. So, oh, Rachel Bush.

Rachel Bush. Love you, girl. Love you, girl. From your bum-ass bug. Bum-ass bug-eyed girl. So I saw a post. This is just more drama. I like talking about drama.

We saw a post, a couple posts, of people posting pictures of us being like, there's no fucking way that these girls don't have sugar daddies. Like, there's just no fucking way. It's like, have you guys seen our apartment? That is what, right? Like, our apartment, I don't know how many times that we have to tell you it is fully furnished from the trash legit we have a heater that's broken me and alex if you didn't see like on our story we're literally huddled around her one year

trying to stay warm like a little portable heater that you and i are standing in front of and everyone's like there's no fucking way to they don't have sugar daddies I'm like bitch if I had a sugar daddy I would have a doorman we would have heat we would be living like we live we live in like sub zero temperatures and I like don't even know if I'll wake up the next day there's some moments I'm like this is the end like we straight I mean guys we have talked on episodes about like having shit and pee leak out of our fucking bathroom. And there's nothing wrong at all with having a sugar. No, we, we welcome it.

We totally welcome it, but it's just ridiculous. And people are like, ha, these girls are like such fucking liars. No, we're not. The other day, Lauren and I were laying in our bed and our window was kind of cracked open. So our landlord or our super i don't know which one it is he's outside and lauren goes did you hear that i'm like no what and she goes he literally just yelled at someone and said if you ever show up to my property again i will shoot

you um like we live in the ghetto no he is actually terrifying so everyone that says we have sugar daddies it's like we just said we're not mocking first of all the lifestyle the girls that have them we want them no but please fuck off with that it's so annoying do we have rich friends absolutely definitely i mean mooch central alex and i will mooch until we die but this is the difference is say we have rich friends and they offer to fly us somewhere for a weekend right they may be paying for it but at the end of the day we fly on back to new york guys and we go back to our shitty ass apartment no and you know what it's almost worse because we get a little

taste of the great life and then alex and i have to fucking we're like come back to our apartment so fuck us we're still poor yeah speaking of being poor it's valentine's day now is it next week it's next week well we don't have boyfriends so we'll just be scissoring each other yeah oh wow you're just gonna get everyone a little bit excited what do they call it a galentine ew ew let's not use that term so it's valentine's day so this is this is what we have a lot of people asking us what the hell do i get the girl for Valentine's Day? Now, I have to say, I truly do think it's one of the most overrated. I don't even think we should call it a holiday.

But if you are a guy and you have a girl at the time, you have to get her something. Girls fucking care. I mean, I care. Yeah. If I'm in a relationship, like, even though I think it is kind of dumb, like, I care. I think also, and it's so dumb to admit, but like just because social media and everything, every girl is going to be posting on their stories of the shit that the guy bought them. So like if you don't get your girl.

I actually have a really funny story about that. So my friend was dating this guy and he like pretty much just would treat her like a piece of shit. He didn't get her anything for valentine's day and she cared so much about like her social media and shit that she went and purchased herself like all these balloons roses etc oh tagged him in the picture and set it up in her room so it looked like he had bought her something and he didn't. She tagged him? Yeah. He probably saw it and was like, what the fuck, bitch?

Yeah. I mean, dude. That's so sad. That actually is really sad. So guys, listen, I know even if your girl says she doesn't need anything, just get her something. Yeah. So Sophia and I are here to save the day.

Yeah. We, this past month, have been working on a little project and we basically wanted to provide you guys something to get your girl for valentine's day this is not an ad this is not an ad we literally don't make money off of this by the way like straight up that's our fucking poor life so sofia and i designed some shot glasses thongs and candles well we put degrade me on the thong because like everyone wanted it we put a pole on we're like what should we make and then the the booty shorts that we did the booty shorts say daddy on the ass which is super cute so cute the shot glasses are

dope and then the candles too yeah um I'm pretty sure we asked to put it live today yeah yeah and you can and it will get there by valentine's day I'm pretty sure it says like in the shipping it will get there the 13th or something. Those are great options. And I mean, if you're willing to spend a little bit more money, you can get the Venus du Fleur. They're real flowers, but they're dipped in some chemicals. So they last you an entire year. They come in like this box.

I mean, any girl would just die to get them. Like, they're so cute. Don't the Kardashians always have those? Wow. If anyone's listening, send me a box of those. No one's going to fucking send me a box of those. Yeah, but they're so cute don't the kardashians always have those yes wow if anyone's listening send me a box of those yeah no one's gonna fucking send me a box yeah but they're they're so cute they are and then i mean you can always also do like you could hook your girl up and get her the womanizer and be like babe when i'm out of town or i'm gone you can go to town or like we're using

this tonight boom because the womanizer yeah if you're looking that's a good one you could just get a mold of your dick. Oh! And give it to her. Or girls could do a mold of their vagina. Yeah, girls. You should get your man a mold of your vagina. Yeah, remember my ex-boyfriend was so obsessed with Lisa Ann. Yeah. There's like a mold of her vagina, and I was like this close to buying it.

With regard to Valentine's Day, we came up with a pretty good idea. I like this idea. Yes. This is our call her daddy idea. Yeah. Aside from all the thongs and the shot glasses. Right. And if you are trying to save money, I know like a lot of listeners are in college.

Yeah. This is the way to go. Yeah. Broke bitch life. We've got you. Yeah. Because we are too. So guys, we came up with an idea.

Mm-hmm. Literally all it takes is a pen and a paper. Yeah. And it's basically going to be like the call her daddy coupon book. It's we're not talking food stamps. No. Okay. No. Okay. No.

So, guys, you basically on a piece of paper can write to your girl for Valentine's Day one free Cooch Gobbler combo. Or, you know what? That's some pussy shit. You should be like, I'm going to give you the Cooch Gobbler for two hours. Oh, you could put a time on it. Cooch Gobbler for two hours. Yeah.

Cooch Gobbler in the car yeah etc so i think that could be dope you can even do other like more basic shit i'll watch the fucking kardashians with you for an hour love watch the bachelor right which i like that hey what about yeah and or like a massage that's one free massage for an hour and then ladies don't worry we didn't forget about you you guys can do the same thing yeah like straight up i would write on it like one free gluck gluck totally one free cooper special one free oh a rocket ride a reverse cowgirl trip girls i think a lot of times people appreciate like an experience and why not add in a sexual experience yeah i mean that's like pretty original that is are we geniuses i think we are

i'm pretty sure oh we're such geniuses telling you that you'll give your man a blowjob i know no wait no honestly if i was a guy i would end up breaking up with her before valentine's day and then get back with her like the next week and then do like a dinner for her and that would be like so cute and special if you're just like If you're just like a broke ass bitch. You just break up with them like the day before. Yeah. Love it. And then get back.

Totally. Okay. That is just healthy relationship 101. 101 from call her daddy. Also if you want to buy her a bag. And like actually spend money. I mean what. If you buy your girl a Chanel bag.

Like she will be getting it up the butt from you oh she's gonna fuck you right that night oh my god if a guy bought me a Chanel bag we literally just got done whatever hole you want it's a Chanel done saying we don't have sugar daddies that's how you know we don't I'm like, because we're fucking desperate. Fuck. All right. I think this is something that is quite hilarious, truly, but low-key terrifying because guys are delusional, but girls have to deal with it, and it's terrifying. I am so excited to fucking talk about it. Me too.

So let's just talk about a good old flaccid dick. You know, love a good flaccid dick. When a guy's sitting, when he's doing his thing and we're not fucking. When we're fucking, I don't love a good flaccid dick. I totally agree. You know what I mean? It's just not the mood. It's not the groove.

It's not what I'm in the mood to see when I'm like, put it in me. So let's talk about flaccid dicks. I think almost every girl has probably experienced it. Yes. Girls, let's set the scene. You're hooking up with a guy. It's getting hot and heavy. You're about to just start fucking.

Yep. He whips out his wiener. Yep. He literally is like, let's fuck. Like, I can't wait to be inside of you. You reach down and it is a squirmy, wormy, ridiculous, little floppy dick. You're excited. He's excited.

And his dick isn't excited. His dick is not excited. It's really the, it's like those inflatable things outside of the car dealership, like flailing around and he's thinking in his head that you guys are about to fuck. The delusion. you would rather just be like all right like we can just make out like etc and they're like no let's fuck you're like how are we fucking what is that that little macaroni how am i putting that in me that is that's where the delusion is i don't know if they're waiting for you to like try to put it in

or if they're trying to like what do they think we're not gonna fucking notice i know people probably listening are like oh yeah but that's whiskey dick no no no no straight up sober homeboy can't get it up and he's legit coming at me with this little ant eater thinking it's about to go inside me i think that they are hoping that they are gonna put it in in some capacity and that you will not notice and that you can just like ride them and like everything will be fine. That is not how sex works. It's like, bitch, how? How?

No, it ends up like you end up trying to put it in and it's fucking like embarrassing and awkward. It doesn't even really go in. Like, what do you want me to do with that? Like, why are you lying to my face? To my face! Why are you living in, like, such denial? There is nothing I can do with this dick at this point.

Like, I'm looking at it, and it's soft. And he's like, no, it's hard. And I'm like, it is soft. He's like, it's soft, but it's hard. Like, I'm soft, but yes, I am hard. Yeah, or soft. I need guys to write in and tell me what your thought process is when you try and pull that shit. I think what happens sometimes now that I'm thinking about it, because I was trying to, like, channel MILF Hunter.

And I'm like, I think maybe sometimes guys, like, they can lose it for a minute. And they're like, no, no, no, no. Like, it will come back. Like, I just need, if I stop hooking up with her, then it's really not going to come back. So maybe if I just, like, keep in my mind pretending we're about to fuck, then it's really not going to come back so maybe if i just like keep in my mind pretending we're about to fuck then it will just get hard but listen it is such a turnoff for a girl when a guy is straight up just pretending like he doesn't know that thing's just flopping when i've encountered that like sometimes i'll try to just ask to go down on them

and do it that way but guys if you are not hard just go down on this girl and like eat her out for a little bit because it is the it is the most ridiculous thing i have to say that this reminds me and it may pain you but it reminds me that there is no one yeah in this world that deals with a soft dick better than you Sophia Franklin oh my god the video of a man's dick you have you need to tell the story oh my god I didn't prep you for this one holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit okay I forgot about that oh my god I remember it but you forgot okay so Alexlex and i we were in la i entered a full-on blackout love not brown not like really hammered blackout i have no recollection of anything i wake up the next day to a video of a guy with his pants pulled down his soft dick and a fucking song playing while i took

the video so like what happened was we were trying to hook up i mean i figured this all out like the next day love that we were trying to hook up he wasn't getting hard and in my blackout i like saw his dick and i was like i know the perfect song to go with this dick like who says that or who thinks that the video was produced created and directed by me like it was a work of art truly dude it was just of this guy's dick with a song that i picked and recorded it it was see this is the thing i with a song that I picked and recorded it. See, this is the thing. I was also drunk at this party, guys. And I'm like, where the fuck is Sophia?

So I walk downstairs and I open the door. And there you have it. The man has his pants around his ankles sitting in a chair. Sophia has her music blasting on her phone, and she's, like, in that crouch position you see, like, parents get in when they're, like, taking the photo for the kids. Sophia's in a crouch position. You are moving, zooming in and zooming out

at this guy's dick. You're, like, getting different angles. And you're filming his dick with a song on. And it was a song that was, like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. And this guy is so fucked up, too. his dick with a song on and it was wait it was a song that was like do do do do do do do do do and this guy is so fucked up too he was sitting there and his soft dick is just hanging out i didn't even end up hooking up with him i literally filmed the video got up and like went to my room dude i know because i walked into sofia guys and i legit am like oh my god like i'm sorry i'm sorry

and then i saw what's going on i'm like wait what and I was like sorry were you guys about to hook up and Sophia's like no I'm done let's go to bed and we walk out of this room and this guy's pants are around his ankles soft dick out and he's just like what the fuck he was like what just transpired it's every time I think about that I'm like what was the thought process behind that video like did I just see his dick and i was like oh my god i know the perfect song that will go with this dick like what like what that you know what that is what we're gonna have girls do you're not gonna ask him can i give you blow job or you're not gonna take a minute you're gonna take out your phone dude your flashlight was on

too i forgot that aspect of it turn your flashlight on get your video recorder out and put on a song and start literally filming the guy's soft when a guy is trying to say like let's fuck and he's flaccid yeah that's what you're gonna do just start filming it i totally agree guys i want to talk to you about doggy oh getting it from behind oh I'm going to give you guys just a couple pointers. Number one is you've been waiting to say this all week. Every day. So it feels like I'm bringing up the doggy in the next episode. When girls are getting it from behind and they keep their focus up ahead, like they

are driving a car. I'll speed ahead. No, it is like the craziest thing to me girls if you if your man is fucking you from behind and you are not looking back at it and looking back at him and giving him like sex eyes and like moaning you're fucking doing it wrong dude literally i am just picturing like i know and girls we're not shitting on you but like it's gotta stop today the minute you listen to this episode you're never just staring straight ahead it literally is like when you see a guy and he's doing like the horse and buggy thing and the horse is going and he's

holding the straps like you cannot be the horse I mean act like you're kind of into it like don't make it till you make it even if you're not enjoying it which I don't know why you wouldn't be but like if you're not enjoying it yeah no we're gonna say they're enjoying it regardless you need to turn around you need to look back at him that's the hottest thing you can do look back at him be moaning do eye contact and tell him to smack your ass tell him to grab your ass and you can even like again a faint like you can start like touching yourself with your one hand. I think you just go back and forth. Exactly.

You don't fucking keep your head. Yeah. Like I said, all speed ahead. And you're just like looking forward. The other thing, if you have your back hunched over and you're literally, you look like a dog that's about to take a shit. Like, you know how like their backs get hunched? All hunched up. A guy is going to be like, what the fuck?

What am I fucking? Are you enjoying this? What the hell? What am I looking at? Because it makes your ass look bad. You look like you're in pain. You look like you're about to take a shit. You look like you're having menstrual cramps.

It's like, what did this turn into? A thousand percent. You need to have that back arch that's what you need to do and if it's hurting you then change positions but like straight up that's not hot no i remember milf hunter said i said like what's one of the most unattractive things and he said when the girl when i'm fucking her from behind slowly it's like 10 seconds 15 seconds and each incremental time slowly her back just starts hunching hunching hunching all the way till she looks like fucking hunchback of Notre Dame and

it's like bitch what is this dude because it also makes your body look so bad yeah that's not a cute angle so girls also like I think if anything slouch the other way sometimes what's worked for me is like say he's big and like you're just like damn like this is just hitting a spot that like it almost hurts what i do is if you're on the bed say you almost like spread forward and go down like what's the downward dog position i know exactly what you're talking about and you kind of do that and then that also is so fucking hot that's a really hot position for a guy to see you in. And that just helps you like get it, feel it in a different spot. But girls, we got to clean it up with the hunchback. It is so unattractive. The hunchback needs to stop. And like, you need to like look back at him and like

make some type of contact. Those were just a couple of pointers. Those are just a couple of things that got us heated this past afternoon. All right. alex and i we weren't going to share this story but we're telling it because listen we have talked about fetishes and kinks before we don't shit on any of them we know people like certain things yes and i'm gonna preface this by saying this does not mean that these people like to do this in real life right oh yeah you know what i mean that's huge people don't realize like fantasies and role playing stuff like that is not something that's actually needs to happen like in reality. For sure.

Like legit rape fantasies. Rape fantasies. We can talk about that on another episode. Yeah, I definitely think we should. But that's a huge thing. Okay. So, all right. Now that we've scared the shit out of them.

I know. Everyone's terrified. They're like, what are the cult? Dude, people are always like, what are they going to talk about this week? And now they're like, what are they called? Dude, people are always like, what are they going to talk about this week? And now they're like, what are they about to say? Okay, so the term daddy, our podcast is called Call Her Daddy. What is daddy? It's usually when you are just letting your guy know that he is the man.

Yeah, and then vice versa. That's why we say girls can also be daddy. Yeah. It's when you are the ultimate, basically like a savage. You take control. You have the power. You take control. You have the power. Yeah.

Boom. So our friend is hooking up with this guy. And this is her first time hooking up with him. This is her first time hooking up with him. She was like super into him. Like they were amazing. And he's like really hot. Oh my God. Drop dick gorgeous.

And successful. Very successful. A little older. And also the nicest guy ever. I think the guy sometimes that seemed the most stable yeah well here we go about to spill some shit our friend throws out the daddy during sex yeah she says that feels so good daddy whatever we've all been there we've all done that one yeah love it this guy This guy starts doing a role play. She calls him daddy and he responds with, oh my gosh, like you're my little girl. I'm just going to give you guys some of the lines that she told us.

We need to be quiet. We can't wake mommy up. We're going to be, you're going to be late for school. Like you're so naughty. You're so disobedient. We have to keep this a secret from mommy yeah like you're right like oh my god and then he was saying stuff like your pussy's so small you're oh i guess small little mouth yeah she was like sucking his dick and he was he was

like your small little mouth and your tiny throat so insane oh and dude she was just so taken aback and i am just curious to know like if anyone has like encountered this before i get i get it in the sense that like people like the perversion of it yeah you know what i mean this is the thing well also i i think we should talk about that because in this situation guys she said and like this she is normal like she does not do kinky shit she was like guys it was one of those things where like he's so hot and he started doing it she ended up fucking putting her hair in pigtails and full-blown acting like she went with it she she and she liked it she said it was the craziest thing, but I ended up liking it. Like, it was hot, and she was like, oh, daddy. Right, and it was like, yeah.

So, dude, I don't even know what I would do in that position. I just, I would probably just go along with it. But this is the thing. I know immediately people are like, okay, that is, like, straight up pedophilia. Like, that is just. But it's not, because you guys don't understand, like understand your fantasies and role play and stuff like that. It's like, dude, guys want girls to dress up as a little school girl. Yeah. Like you're not going to go fuck a little school girl or a nurse. Yeah. Well, I guess you would fuck a nurse.

But no. Yeah. I think it's just this weird thing with fetishes. And I mean, anyone that is listening and that has had this happen it is let us know because this is just another form of role play but this specifically i think can be more of a controversial one just because it's like you're basically acting like you're fucking your dad and you're fucking your daughter right and you're telling her be quiet mommy's in the other room totally jesus i also think like similar to the rape fantasy i know we haven't talked about it but it's like these women don't want to be raped yes they want to role play and like kind of have like that dom sub thing but like i know i didn't even really know about rape

fantasies until you told me about it but we are gonna i think we should talk about that in another episode i low-key i feel like we need a fucking specialist to talk about that i know because people are gonna be like you have fucking lost your minds finally the call her daddy girls have gone on the edge totally i mean i don't know i think i think another thing that you made a good point about because you make so many good points is the perversion there's and and i think that that's something that people lose sight of when they hear about this shit initially listen we're all about not judging on call her daddy and people i think almost like years ago i would have been judgmental of this and i've definitely like changed my view

on shit but like this specifically the perversion is what is so many guys are attracted to yeah and i do think that more guys are into that than girls like the perversion of things right i mean totally i mean i mean with anything like there are exceptions but i totally agree i mean there's like there's a lot of different guys really get off to that right i want to transition to a little thing called social media i think it's time we talk about fake accounts I think you should actually because that was a what was that episode two you talked about Sandra Martinelli yeah so I was doing some stalking I was dating this guy I ended up on his ex-girlfriend's Instagram page as you do I was like a year deep

I was literally in like 2016. Hanging out with her cousin. Right, right, right. I was trying to zoom in on like a swimsuit picture, whatever the fuck I was doing. I did the double tap. And my heart fell out of my butt. And I wanted to die. I had 30 seconds to figure something out. Yep.

And this is what I did I changed my name on Instagram from Sophia Franklin to Sandra Martinelli don't ask me where I got that name from what it just fucking flew out of me it was I don't even know I changed my profile picture to a picture of like a cartoon or something and I put my profile on private you know it's just it's just it is so brilliant it's at its finest like truly it really is I'm so proud yeah so when that girl went to go see who had liked her fucking photo from three years ago right Sandra Martinelli liked the photo not Sophia Franklin no Sophia Franklin didn't even have an Instagram anymore no nope so so with that we

wanted to preface it with that because first of all thank you because that's such an amazing story yeah and I don't even think I would have thought about that yeah so fake accounts I truly believe that every single girl has a fake account, whether they are going to stalk their ex-boyfriend, their ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend, their ex-best friends. Like every fucking girl has a fake account at this point. And if you don't have a fake account, you can use your friend's fake account. Like you always used to use my fake account, but now we got you set up with a new one. Oh my God.

My fake account, but now we got you set up with a new one. Oh, my God. My fake account. I created my first one like a week ago. And I just went to the popular page and started requesting to follow all these random people. It is all like construction related stuff. Like, yeah, there'll be girls posting with drywall. Yeah, there'll be guys like posting with like a fucking saw. It's like the funniest shit guys i tried to help sophia because sophia didn't understand like what do you do with a fake account i'm like so you need to have followers and be following it's not working out that great

i literally went to go follow my ex like oh a couple days ago and he texted me a screenshot of the account and he was like why do i feel like this is you you're like no he's like i pretty much still know you're the crazy bitch i used to date that just shows how fucking crazy you are because if you've not talked to him and the fact that oh and straight up i picked the profile picture i know it's from it's someone from the daddy game he picked a picture that was like two girls they look like they're in a sorority. It's like super wholesome bitches. And Sophia, that's her profile picture. And your name is like Gina some bullshit.

And so she requested him. He called her out. Yeah. But the best thing about fake accounts is what are you going to do this week, Sophia? With my fake account? Yeah. You're going to change your name. You're going to change the picture.

Oh my God. And you're going to get a couple more followers. Right. And you're gonna change your name you're gonna change the picture oh my god you're gonna get a couple more followers and you're a different person i'm gonna completely reinvent myself as many times as it takes until this fucker lets me follow him guys if you have a fake account remember to also post pictures in there right when people see that you've zero posts it's like okay that's a fake account wow we are psychos we are. We are psychos. All I want to say, though, is like we're just talking about these lightly. I'm sorry, but fake accounts can really put you in a fucking mental state that can be detrimental. Dude, it's the worst. The amount of stalking and rabbit holes and hours, countless hours that I've spent stalking from a fake account is like not good for your mental health. It's not healthy whatsoever. And I think it's just important to say that

I think it's inevitable that everyone's going to have one. Yeah. But I do think girls like it gets unhealthy when you're straight up checking it just as much as you're checking your normal account. Like you wake up and you go to your real account and then you check your fake account. It can be a little wild. Yeah. I think, I mean, dude, fake accounts. Do you think guys have fake accounts? I kind of think they do. I know that, like, one of my exes did. Really?

Mm-hmm. He was also a little girl and a little bitch. A little bitch boy. So, whatever. Wait, what do you think he was doing on it? Just, like, stalk you and shit? Yeah. I think there's also people that have them so that they can follow accounts.

Like, guys want to follow, like, hot girls don't want their right girlfriend or their wife to find out which is just like great you know like not douchey at all like super cute totally um with regard to social mihi ti ha um now let's talk about snapchat for a second which i i mean we got to talk about it more and i guess I need to get back into the Snapchat game, but yeah, maybe we're just like hoes and we just keep sending our nudes through text message and they can save them. Smart people are sending nudes through Snapchat. I barely use Snapchat. So Snapchat, everyone's like, how do I fuck with someone on Snapchat? And I'm sure a lot of people use this, but we just want to give you guys a little

heads up if you're not using this yeah i do this all the time it's just the writing right so what pretty much what you do is you begin typing something but then you just delete it and you never send it so they still get a notification yeah right snapchat's a beautiful thing it's like you can be sitting there and it's like david is typing and you're like, oh shit, what's David about to say? Yeah. And then you never get a message from them.

And then it's like a mind fuck and you like want to reach out to them. You're like, yeah. If you're trying to get someone's attention without full on saying something, you can just play it off like it was a mistake. Yes. And I think this could, this could really work, but don't overdo it and pick your timing. So girls or guys, let's say you're trying to like get back into your ex's mind. You're like, I kind of want to fuck with him a little bit.

Right. Don't do this at 2 a.m. Do this at like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Type to them on Snapchat. Yeah. And they're going to be fucking at work. And they're like, wait, why is like Chelsea writing to me? And then stop writing and don't send anything.

And then immediately for the rest of the day he's gonna be like did she was she what was she gonna say totally that guys is a perfect way to fuck with someone go type something delete it and boom boom you're in yep okay alex gave us the fucking story of a lifetime last week about shitting herself, which is kind of my favorite story ever. And I can't stop talking about it. And when we're meeting guys, I'm like,

have you heard of this story? No, this is the fucked up thing. I actually got a DM from a guy and he was like, ha ha. Like, just listen to your poop story. Like I have to say,

like it almost made me more attracted to you. And I was like, what? He's probably the type of guy that wants you to fucking give him a dirty Sanchez situation. Oh, my God. I just choked. Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah.

So thanks for everyone who is so supportive of my shit story. So the reason I'm bringing up that story is because we were like, we need to give these people another story. Another story. That will just change their lives. I just, all right. We call this the cucumber story. We do. The cucumber story is so near and dear to our hearts.

Sophia and I went to Vegas. When was that? I don't know. It was like a while ago. It was like close to when we first met. Yeah. So almost a year ago probably. And Sophia and I got invited to this um

like party it was like a house not a house it was like a penthouse party I don't even I don't even remember where it was but pretty much and like we that sounds so like we're trying like oh we went to but no no we had plans that night and then we randomly got invited probably because they thought we were fucking prostitutes which is cute so we go to this penthouse party because we were going to go to a club and we're losers and we're like whoa like a penthouse party let's do it so we get to this penthouse party and every single girl looks yeah kind of like an escort so we didn't understand the dynamic of this we're like let's get fucked up yeah like not a lot of the girls were drinking and we found out basically like these girls were trying to land this guy as their sugar daddy.

There were not many men at this party. It was like straight. It looked like the fucking bachelor. Right. It really did. So we're at this party and all these girls are trying to like get time and talk to this guy. And meanwhile, Sophia and I are like, where's the bar? So Sophia and I are getting fucking hammered at the bar.

And there's this one girl who definitely has his attention. She's spending a lot of the time with him that night yeah and then it gets back to us that there's a little situation going down yeah this girl so this guy was gonna take some of the girls on a shopping trip which to some people listening or they're like what which is normal that's a that is so normal it happens in vegas all the time like that is just so normal like guys happens in Vegas all the time. Dude, we're like, that is just so normal. Like, guys will, like, pick some girls and, like, take them to, like, Chanel, whatever. Have we ever gone to that?

No. No. I don't own any Chanel bar. Okay. So, the one girl finally has his attention. So, we find out that he basically made a little barter with her. What was the barter Sophia he bargained with her that he would be down to take her shopping and let her be one of the girls if he got to fuck her with a cucumber now listen guys I know as you're listening to this on your drive to work or you're working out

you're like now you guys are fucking lying here's the thing guys and i wish we were fucking like i don't i mean that would probably be really fucked up to release it we have a video yeah of what actually went down if it wasn't so fucked up and evil i wish like we could just blur out her vagina kind of i have this video so everyone that says we fake our stories go fuck yourselves because i saw this with my own two eyes wow i'm like thinking about all the videos on my phone yeah you have phone i'm one of the soft dicks and this girl okay so anyways this and i mean a lot of these guys in vegas that have a shit ton of money they like to do stuff like that like our other story where he made the girl crawl around like a dog if yeah if you haven't heard i mean they they have money and they have power and they're like why not so all of a sudden they straight up have all of the girls get into vans

and sophia and i are fucked up on our way to get into these vans we are going to what was it a whole foods like a 24-hour convenience store so this guy has us all the girls from the party go to Whole Foods and pick out a cucumber. Okay. To fuck this girl. That he's going to like fuck this girl with. Of course, because I'm a sweetheart, I like pick like a Japanese cucumber or something. Dude, Sophia's running around being like, no, like we want to find her a baby one. Meanwhile, I'm getting the biggest, largest mongoose fucking cucumber.

It was like, it was funny. Like there were some girls but no one really like took it that seriously you were like where's the organic ones you're a fuck i don't want this sweet girl to have pesticides going in her pussy so please just picture all of these girls leaving a penthouse yes getting into a van yeah and walking into a whole foods to find cucumbers yes like imagine being a fucking person in that grocery store, first of all. Right. We looked like prostitutes.

And you know what? When this went down, which it did, he fucking put a condom on the cucumber. Yes, let's talk about that. So pretty much, we go to Whole Foods with, like, a gaggle of, like, beautiful girls. In little mini dresses and stripper heels. And they are picking out cucumbers and condoms. And he's standing at the top of the fucking line and all these girls are putting their

cucumbers. Right. On the fucking conveyor belt. Yeah. We get back. We put the cucumbers on this like it was like a glass big dining room table. Yes. And Sophia and I at this point like my drunk was wearing off so I was like this is funny

but this is some type of. Look what is going on. Like this is kind of fucked up but then like the girl was so off. So I was like, this is funny, but this is some type of look. What is going on? Like this is kind of fucked up. But then like the girl was so down. She was like, let's get after it. So then I was kind of like, oh, girl. Right. So finally, this guy, it was pretty fucking large.

It was a large one. He picked a large cucumber. Yeah. And he proceeded to get a condom out. And he he straps this cucumber up with a condom yep and all of us are standing around like it was actually if we were watching like a show like it was fucking weird dude but like at the same time it was fun it's like what happens yeah like it was it was kind of fucked up and it was kind of like cool to see so he proceeds to go in and out of this girl's pussy

with this cute dude she is she literally hiked up her dress yeah got on this glass table spread her legs and yeah alex wasn't that your first time in vegas yes poor thing dear god thing i i lived in utah so i had to go to vegas all the time but i remember that was your first time and i like low-key was terrified but i'm like this place is amazing so we just watched this and then as it started happening girls naturally just started getting which now that i think about it's kind of fucked up but girls started getting their phones out right so sofia whipped hers out which we did as well and sofia got close up on that shit and we just literally filmed her as she got fucked by this cucumber how fucked up if we can just post the picture but i'll throw

a huge emoji over her vagina so it will just show her legs and then the cucumber i know the first of all the fact that our instagram got taken down because we have it's literally because of the videos of us sitting in this room talking okay we would so get fucking shut down if we ever put that like a legitimate cucumber with a condom on it is already an issue. And then it's in a girl's pussy. So that was my first experience in Vegas. And that poor girl's vagina. Dude, that thing was ginormous. And I was like low key, like terrified for her. But that is our cucumber vegas story i mean it's quite the story dude i mean these girls are fucking hustlers and straight up hustlers like damn like i pray to god she got herself a fucking burk in the next day because to get that up your v in front of everybody dude dude

i kind of love her and i kind of respect her i it. I wonder how she's doing now. Yeah. Shout out to you. So I hope you guys enjoyed that one. Let's get into questions. We have some good ones this week. Questions. Questions of the week. Okay. It's over.

All right. All right. This girl asks, I've been with my boyfriend for four years and lately he's been wanting to film us having sex is this normal i low-key like it but don't want it to happen every time we have sex sweetie sweetie you did not just ask is that normal of course it's normal every fucking guy wants to make a sex tape every single guy especially four years into a relationship yeah sex tapes up the wagu is that a word i don't even fucking know but dude people have sex tapes all the time yeah and i think they can be so hot

listen i'm not i you know there could be one of me out there there might be hypothetically there could be um but it is a risk it's a risk pretty much what i'm going to say is you have to be prepared that this may like show up on the internet yeah and i know that sounds really crazy and i know but like when you are dating someone for that long and you're super in love and you trust them more than anything like you're going to feel you're going to feel comfortable making something like that for sure people change shit happens yeah and you know you can't fully trust anyone you can't have that type of stuff on you it's so true it's like it's this weird line of like in the moment and in your relationship it's like the hottest idea that like you can watch it when he's away and he can watch it when you're away. But then at the end of the day, like relationships fucking end.

Yeah. Marriages end. Yeah. And then there's a sex tape of you that they have on your phone. And I mean, Sophia and I are like hunting down anyone we've ever had sent nudes to or videos to. It causes me anxiety actually. No, straight up.

Because I'm like, dude, they're about to fucking release it and be like, here's Alex Cooper's fucking nude, which I'm low key. Like, all right to fucking release it and be like here's alex cooper's fucking new which i'm low-key like all right quickly release it hurry up let me get famous but no i yeah i think guys i mean the sex tape thing is it's a tough one but you got to just decide i was gonna say you can try to not have your face in it but like i don't know mask on put a mask on put a ski mask on and get done that's kind of cool that's a great way to do it okay next one okay what do you do when a guy you've been flirting with sexting with finally comes over but it happens to be while you are on your period do you tell him or do you make it seem like you don't want to have sex oh this is a good one what do you usually do okay so i think if i've been having sex with the guy i don't think

it's weird at all to tell them i'd be like like, yeah, babe, like I can't tonight. I'm on my period. But I'll give you a mean ass blowjob to make up for it. You know what? There have been times where the guy wants to hang out and I know I'm on my period and I'm not really trying to just Netflix and chill. Right. You're like, I don't actually want to hang out with you.

I'm like, if we're hanging out, like we're hooking up. Right. And I've like actually texted them before being like,'m on my period so tonight won't work and he's like so basically you're telling me you use me for sex right yeah you're only wanting to come over when you want the dick oh i fucking love that yeah girls i think i don't think that periods should be an awkward thing at all everyone knows it exists uh-huh so every guy needs to shut the fuck up about it and just be like sorry like i can't on my period yeah and if he has a problem with that fuck him and if anything girls if you're afraid he's not gonna invite you over because he knows

you're on your period then just wait and tell him once you're there you know there you go all right next one one time i was blowing my boyfriend and i told him he could come in my mouth good job he's about to finish so i brace myself to swallow he fucking pees in my mouth and i have fucking chipmunk cheeks full of his cum and pee mix i wanted to die i just threw up in my fucking mouth dude that is fucking disgusting that can you oh like come and pee together in your mouth oh my god i'm like you're i make you're getting you're like making me like gag like i want to gag dude that's so fucking gross oh fucking go pee before you're gonna fuck that's pretty fucked up and like the girl what does she do just literally open her mouth

and spit it i would have spit it all over him. Like, everywhere. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't be able to, like, swallow that. Holy fuck. Imagine what that looks like, too. That's disgusting. A little chunky liquidy.

Thanks for ruining my day. Whoa! Wow, okay. All right. Okay, so this guy said, So you're doing anal with a girl, and the guy looks down and sees shit on his dick.

How do you react? Like, do you tell her immediately or? That's a good one. This is the thing. If you want to do anal, that is just a risk you have to be willing to take. Absolutely. Because it's going to fucking happen eventually. You're putting in the pooper.

Expect you could possibly see some poop. Absolutely. Because it's going to fucking happen eventually. You're putting in the pooper. Expect you could possibly see some poop. Absolutely. I actually asked my guy friend and he said that you will just keep going until you finish and then go wash it off. Listen, I agree with that. You do? I think that, well, no, I agree to it to a certain extent. I think obviously if this girl's shitting her fucking

brains out and it's like all your your dick is brown now yeah yeah no you gotta end it if there's a little bit like what do you expect right dude you're in her asshole that's where she shits yeah so like what i think if you're a real savage you keep going he also told me a really cute story he told me one time he was doing anal with this girl and he these are his words not mine he packed her fudge so hard that when he peed right after a little worm of poop came out of his penis hole no he i love how he says what he said he packed her fudge and then a little worm of poop came out of his hole worm of poop out of the wiener hole yeah it it does bug me when guys get like so pissed if like that happens yeah like

what did you think was gonna happen like what the fuck okay so um when i was a freshman in high school i started dating a junior and he had more experience obviously he wanted me to give him a blow job i had never even seen a guy's penis in person before so i was already nervous as is hadn't watched porn nothing so i went down on him and i legit blew on his fucking dick like as hard as i could because i thought that's how you gave a blow job he jumped the fuck out of bed and started laughing his ass off. I remember being so embarrassed. The next day I went to school and all the boys were making huffing, huffing noises at me.

Fucking hated it then. But now I LL every time I remember it. Dude, that is so fucking good. You blew on his dick because you thought that's what a blowjob is. Honestly, why is it called a blowjob? That is so true. I don't blame her for kind of like not knowing what it should be called like a lick job or like a suck job or like a oh my i dude that's actually so cute oh oh my god i love that like how does that feel she's like do you want me to breathe faster like how much like what oh i love

that that's fucking hilarious dude the shit you do when you're oh my god my first blowjob we should low-key talk about like high school experiences because mine was not fucking cute i think i tried to do and i gave the guy like the worst blue balls ever i don't even know probably like bit his dick yeah classic okay so this story is fucking insane this girl was dating this guy in college and they had been together for three years and she was super in love with him but she always had a feeling that he was being shady but like she could never prove it she had a really bad feeling about this girl named hayley who was like his neighbor and they were always talking to each other. Okay.

This is what she did to try and catch him. Is this about to be a daddy move? This is maybe the biggest daddy move I've ever heard of. Oh my God. I'm about to take notes. So she went to Haley's profile, took her profile picture. Okay. She created a new Facebook account, a fake Facebook account with Haley's picture and with Haley's name on it. Okay.

From that profile, she messaged herself saying, I just need you to know that I have been fucking so-and-so. Like your boyfriend. Yeah. I have been fucking your boyfriend. Okay. Screenshotted that conversation, sent it to the guy. Her boyfriend. Yeah. I've been fucking your boyfriend. I've been fucking your boyfriend. Okay. Screenshotted that conversation. Sent it to the guy. Her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend. And he ended up confessing to everything. Oh. I am like. I have chills. I am so fucking proud. I am so proud. Where is this woman and come on our show?

How genius is that? And the crazy thing is like she had kind of like an idea. But she didn't fucking know. She really didn't know anything. Like what would have happened if they weren't fucking? And then he goes to Haley and he's like, why the fuck did you tell her we're fucking? We don't fuck. Yeah. That would have been a disaster.

I know. But like how savage. It just happened to work. How smart is that? So girls, if you're trying to catch your man. Do that. And you have an idea what girl it is, I say fucking do this. Because think about it.

If I was in that situation and it turned out that he wasn't and he was like, went to Haley and is like, what the fuck? And she's like, that's not me. I didn't do that. Yeah. The girlfriend can deny till she dies. Right. Like, well, what do you think I did? Made a fucking fake account of this bitch. Obviously something's not me. I didn't do that. Yeah. The girlfriend can deny till she dies. Right. Like, well, what do you think I did?

Made a fucking fake account of this bitch? Obviously something's going on. I love that he probably went to the girl that he was like cheating on his girlfriend with and was like, what the fuck? And the girl was like, I would never do something like that. And he was probably like, fuck you. Yeah. Now he's done with her.

Oh, guys, that is the daddiest of daddy. I've heard all day. She pretty much catfished her damn self to find out who her ex was fucking. Holy shit. Amazing. That was a good one to end on. Yeah, that's great. So, guys, that is another week of call her daddy.

Yes. Thanks for hanging out with us. Embrace the crazy. Embrace the crazy. Get fucked by a cucumber. Catfish your boyfriend yeah guys if you want to get all the holiday shit that we um designed you can i'm pretty what is it it's on barstool uh-huh you go just go to the store and then you go to yeah and then you go to call her daddy and it will say um like valentine's day collection or some shit yeah but

girls if you want to get yourself a thong too, hit yourself up. I'm going to be wearing that. I think the presents are so cute. They're cute. So again, if you guys want to be featured on the episode, make sure you guys write in, go to Barstool and go to Call Her Daddy

and it's just in the ask a question, write in a story or ask us a question and we'll feature you guys. And we will see you next Wednesday, Daddy. We love you guys and we will see you next time we love you guys