Call Her Daddy - 22- Condom Poker

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

The girls are here to discuss how to get over a breakup and introduce one of the riskiest games of poker ever played…condom poker. Watch out for STD's! They also get into the ‘double tap' feature on the iPhone and how you can use it to become a master manipulator. Last but definitely not least, the girls bring us a new sex tip to make sure your sex is hot and steamy and it involves flipping the bird.

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy sophia put your headphones on let's go we're here daddy gang daddies what's up guys i'm feeling some type of way today. We're in a fucking mood today. A little loosey-goosey. We're in the studio, and we started an hour late because we've been playing music. Sophia put her sunglasses on, and we're just in a mood. This is going to be more of an experimental podcast.

This one may be a little different. Yes. Okay. I guess when we release this. Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Would be tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.

Whoa. Girls, shave your vagina. Guys, trim those pubes. Trim them up. Get after it. Okay. We posted a video of, we mentioned last podcast that I had taken a music video of a guy's genitalia. I love how you call it a music video.

I took a music video. And we posted it to the Call Her Daddy Instagram. Which no one thought we were going to do. I mean, we threw an emoji over his dick. Well, just because also, like, we've had such issues in the past with our Instagram getting taken down and we were like, you know what?

Yeah, you can't just post a flaccid penis on Instagram. What do you mean? It's for the people. I love how she's like, we've gone in trouble in the past so we can't really get away with it. I'm pretty sure. You're like, Alex, you're trying to post porn. No, but like, we straight up we're like i want to post this video because i want people to know that we're being dead ass like we straight up have these videos we're not lying about these stories so sophia and i posted the video of the guy's dick for what like i made

you keep it up longer than you wanted to i put it up for five minutes and i started to get scared but we probably had it up there for like 15 minutes the reason i brought it up is because people were more appalled by the pubic hair oh my god they were calling it like chewbacca etc they're like i thought this was like chewbacca's dick which i like thought the same thing i forgot how much hair he had down there i don't hair doesn't really. But that was like a bushel. Like, imagine, well, I'm just thinking I think it's gross when you're sucking dick and you go down and like, it's half of it.

You get like a hairbrush in your mouth. That's why I don't suck dick, Alex. There we go. I'm just kidding. So I hope everyone's excited for Valentine's Day, though. Yeah. I mean, we're not getting shit. Nope. Are we? I mean, should we get each other something? But I mean, like, do you think a boy's going to send you shit? No.

Me either. Why not? It's because we're keeping too many side hoes and we haven't anointed anyone in Maine. Maybe, you know what we got to do? We got to quickly do that before tomorrow. Yeah. So we can get a gift. We can just be like, hey, like, I think we should ramp it up to the next level.

What are you doing tomorrow night? They're like, bitch, I know you want a gift. I'm like, so, whatever. All right. right so that's that's just our little update um and sophia has like 10 boyfriends right now um humble 11 11 it's really getting annoying i need to fill my roster quickly yeah you do double tap responses this oh baby okay okay sorry sorry sorry so um double tap responses in the past i've talked about red receipts and i didn't realize how many people were gonna be like start using them and i think it's really created a goddamn movement so double tap responses if you don't know what a double tap response is i'm pretty sure you have

to have an iphone to do this i don't actually don't know what the fuck a samsung does so i truly i'm sorry if you're a samsung user do they have them i haven't you're asking me yeah i don't know shit about i don't know but so you i know that the the um the iphone has these so basically if you double tap someone's message, a list of options appear. I know you all know this, but in case anyone doesn't. So the options are you can heart it, you can thumbs up for like, you can down for dislike, you can haha to laugh at it or exclamation. And then there's a question mark option.

I want everyone to add the double tap response to their goddamn arsenal. I just can't anymore. I just, I like watch Alex like maneuver and manipulate these men. And I'm like, okay, so you hard and then you unhard and then you give him an exclamation point. And then you leave him on read and then you go to sleep. And then you take the red receipts off. I'm like, holy shit.

It really is a game. But if you can execute it properly you're gucci so i want to get into a little bit of like a sermon about these double tap responses because guys i promise you if you start using them girls and guys it's another way like red receipts to just finesse the game so red receipts are so good obviously for many instances but the double tap response i think because there are so many options legit it can fit into any combo depending on how you want to use them so i'm going to give you guys like straight up examples that i was thinking about let's say the king fuck boy that you're fucking with or the deceitful slur that's being a little disobedient. Slore. I want to bring that word back.

The slore. Let's say they text you saying they miss you. The classic. The fuck boy slides in. The fuck girl slides in. And you're like, of course you miss me, bitch. This is where if you want to keep the convo going, guys, because listen, there are times if you want to leave them on red because you're just like, fuck it.

I want them to know I'm ignoring them. You can use the double tap, girls and guys. You're going to leave it on read and you're going to double tap there. I miss you with a ha ha. OK, this shows obviously your reaction to it, but you're not going to respond. And therefore, I promise you, if you respond, respond respond haha to someone saying i miss you or like like thinking about you anything like that they're going to be so insecure and they're going to double text you okay sofia's like taking notes no no no i love that i what about if you

um give them a heart so that there's a difference between that. Okay. So and I'm going to get to that because the heart, the ha ha is more of a mind fuck because he's going to be like, so why are you laughing? You're like, no, it's cute, babe. Like, love that. And he's like, okay. But at the end of the day, the ha ha makes him double text and feel insecure. The heart doesn't make him insecure. If you want to make him insecure, because I'm speaking fuck boy and deceitful slur

let me give you another example so it's really clear let's say you're talking to a hookup and you ask them like a serious question and they completely bypass it and they just carry on the combo how many times that also fucking happen oh men like you send a guy a paragraph and he answers one question guys can only answer like one question or respond to like one comment yeah it's so fucking annoying i will literally if i have three things to say i'll send one thing wait for him send the next thing wait for him to make sure i get everything fucking answered you have to yeah and either they're just like being completely aloof or they are obviously avoiding answering the question. So,

so your hook, you're talking to your hookup and you ask a question and he completely bypasses it. This is when guys, you leave that on red to whatever he answered. And then if you want the convo to continue, you are going to put an exclamation mark on your last text. Does that make sense? Yeah, that absolutely makes sense. So you're going to double tap your last message. Basically being like, hi. No, no, no. I asked you a question in that text.

Answer it. Is that similar to like a double text? Kind of. From who? Like I'm just saying like, okay, so you text something and he doesn't respond to what you ask. Right. So then you're going to throw the exclamation point. Isn't that similar to just being like.

See, no, this is the beauty of it. Okay. That allows you to not send a new text. It's like by you putting an exclamation point on your own text message you aren't following up and asking again you're just literally emphasizing emphasizing it and that's huge because then you don't have to text him again blah blah and then he is forced to double text and answer that question right okay now let's talk about it because you don't always have to do it in a fucked up way okay let's say you're sexting and he tells you how much he loves you giving him head

you're gonna read it and then you can love it press the heart on it and then you can follow up with a sex that makes him know that you like when he says stuff like that like let your man know man know, the guy you're talking to, let the girl know when you like shit. Especially when you're talking dirty, like, like that shit. Yeah. Let's say you, your fuck buddy texts you saying, hey, I want to see you tonight. But you want to keep them on their toes a little bit. Okay. You're going to love that or like it because you're down to fuck. But you want to play a little bit of a game bit okay you're gonna love that or like it because

you're down to fuck but you want to play a little bit of a game you don't be like okay yeah sure let's go he's like i want to see you tonight you're gonna thumbs up it or you're gonna heart it that way if they really want it they have to then follow up with a double text being like okay so do you want to hang out they have to to like go the extra mile. I think this is the thing. The benefit of the double tap responses are that unlike red receipts, it is a response. Although it's not a real reply, you have to understand that people are getting a notification when you double tap. It shows up as a message, which red receipts aren't. So it can fuck with someone.

They're like, oh, she texted me. And then you fucking see an exclamation point. You're like, what texted me and then you fucking see an exclamation point you're like what the fuck bitch right so i think my point to this is like the possibilities are endless with the double tap um and the double tap red receipt combo is undefeated like if you're really trying to fuck with someone and make them insecure this is the way to go to also keep the convo going i would not be able to fucking keep up with that shit. I know. I'm hoping I'm explaining it right. It's just like you have to keep in mind that with the double tap,

they're always going to be the last one that responded, even though technically you're kind of the last one. Yeah, I get that. And that's huge. Like if he's like, well, I want to see you late night, you laugh at it. You read it and you laugh at that shit. I usually use it.

I actually have used it when someone doesn't answer the question i asked i'll emphasize it yeah and then if someone says something that doesn't really warrant a response but like i'm really into the guy or like it's my friend then i'll give it a heart like a heart yeah yeah those are the pretty great generic ones and i think everyone listening my point of this is like red receipts are so beautiful like you can throw those things on turn them off fuck with someone this is just there's a lot of times i think people are like well how do i know when to leave them on red or not if you want to keep the conversation going or you even want to add a double layer of a mind fuck you're gonna

throw in a haha you're gonna put an exclamation point because at the end of the day that warrants them possibly sending a double text and that's the goal right the double text is the goddamn fucking goal the double tap double text from the double tap oh my god oh my god it's a lot they will double text you because you double tapped got it do you feel that i feel your vagina inside inside and around okay alex didn't you say that like your friend sent a nude and a guy double tapped it dude i can you he hearted it she sent a fire ass nude and this guy hearted her fucking nude when i say that i block people easily, this guy would be blocked within milliseconds of fucking doing that. I would love to release your blocked list on your phone.

Like, how many fucking guys are blocked? No, dude. I don't know. Listen, ladies, if a guy ever, ever fucking dare double tap response to a fucking nude oh my god that motherfucker is dead and gone and he will not be hearing from you and you are gonna post that on your fucking story until you get the right goddamn response right you're gonna send that nude to 20 guys yeah like that is not a fucking acceptable thing holy shit that's that's just not okay no condom talk oh my what's a condom i don't know that was an intro if i've ever heard one we were talking about condoms and what the

fuck did you call it um i called it it feels like you're getting fucked by a hot dog wrapped in a plastic bag from your local fucking shop right that's what i called it it's fucking awful condoms suck ass that's the truth and i'm sorry everybody would rather go fucking raw dog with a condom but the thing is is you don't have a baby you can get an std oh that thing i forgot about that no no all right in all seriousness guys like it's just crazy no one uses condoms anymore no nobody no no one no, no. All right. In all seriousness, guys, like, it's just crazy. No one uses condoms anymore. No. Nobody. No.

No one. No one. No one. Like, when you are about to hook up with a guy, it's not even a fucking question. It's really not. It's not even brought up. They don't even have one in their wallet anymore. It's legit.

It is really crazy to me. Like, these older men, super established, successful, established successful and they're like in their fucking 30s and 40s and they're not even bringing up a condom how do you know about that sophia you're like what no i agree any guy that i have hooked up with that's older i like i'm literally mid-sex and i'm like wait yeah wait and it's like where's that thing that's rubber? And then the 19 year olds are like, got to put one on. Or they're at least like they have them and they like pull it out of their pocket. They're like, should we use this? Yeah.

And then you can say fuck off. But like, at least they offer. At least they're being generous. Okay. I've never told a guy to like fuck off when he brought a condom. That would scare me as a guy. If a girl was like, get that out of my face i'd be like okay i'm putting two on no but actually that is a really good topic to bring up because i was talking to

milf hunter and we were talking about this thing called condom poker and it is such a thing and people are probably like wait what does that mean condom poker is a game that everybody plays you probably just don't know you're playing it. So what's the Lil Wayne song? It's like safe sex is great sex. Better wear latex because you don't want to get that latex. That I'm latex. Yeah. From Lollipop.

Nobody wants a fucking STD. No, not many people that I know of want like an unplanned kid. But like I just said, let's be completely honest. I mean, Sophia, don't don't be a fucking liar sitting across from me. Raw sex is better than fucking condom sex absolutely thank you I just I'm glad you at least admitted it no no you're making me feel like a fucking no no I think a woman can't tell as much as a fucking guy sure I met a fucking unicorn of a man the other day and he was telling me that condoms aren't even that bad if you just get the super ultra thin ones.

And I was shooketh to my core. A man said that condoms aren't. Married. Marry him now. Married. So the whole thing about the condom poker. Milf Hunter. Yeah.

He brought to me the condom poker because he said in a guy's mind, which is kind of crazy because it's like on the guy usually to like have the condom, which shouldn't be a thing. But there are guys that look at a girl and they either think I'm going to fuck her raw or I need to use a condom with this. It's fucking insane. It is. It's like, like, OK, so the guy sees a girl that looks like a librarian and he's just going to be like, oh, don't need to wear a condom. Like, shut the fuck up. She is probably the closet whore.

Yeah. You never know. So he basically gave me like a couple things that give a guy the go ahead to use a condom or not. So he said, first of all, the classic classic if it just seems too easy like let's be honest he said like pussy makes guys feel like the man a lot of men get sucked in the hole like oh this must just for being for me blah blah meanwhile he was like yeah and she's probably like that for the whole fucking football team so he said a lot of guys you need to put your ego

aside and know when it's just too plain easy don't put chips down on raw sex like it's just not she's throwing the pussy at you and the same goes for girls girls if he is the biggest fuck fuck boy fuck boy fuck boy if he's the biggest fuck boy in town and he's just trying to fuck you here he smashes and dashes every night you got to be smart about that okay are you condoning this condom poker thing? I don't know. Let me just finish my rant and then I'll decide. That turns into the whole investigating their mileage. This is something that Milf Hunter talks about. It sounds so fucking strategic.

I'm so glad Milf Hunter's back in the game. Back at it again. So investigating their mileage, guys. You should be asking mutual friends hey do you know anyone that's fucked her do you know anyone that's fucked him and if everyone's like me and my grandmother and my sister and my cousin if everyone's that wasn't interesting yeah um if everyone's fucked that person that's another little inclination like just be weary but but to the next point, if these people, when you go to get down and dirty with them, if she asks, do you have a condom?

Then you don't need to use the condom. It's like reverse psychology. No, legit. If she asks if you have a condom or if the guy asks, do you have a condom? Then you don't need to use a condom because it's like oh so they practice safe sex so this time for me it can be wrong and if you bring a condom and the person says get that shit out of my face then you better put it the fuck on no but it's true because well all jokes aside i think this is the thing everyone needs to be smart i'm going to sit here and fucking front. Everyone is going to walk around and be like, condoms, condoms.

No one's fucking using condoms anymore. So on call her daddy. I'm just being real with it. I'm going to say, if you're going to try to have raw sex, you got to look, like I just said, is it too easy? Investigate their mileage and investigate. Okay. Did she even ask if I have a condom or did he even ask if I have a condom or did he even ask if I have a condom on me?

Peek around in his nightstand and fucking see. And Melf Hunter did say, if she has a condom with her and brings it out when you're about to fuck, some guys would think, oh, she's a whore. Right, that could go either way. He said a smart guy who listens to Call Her Daddy will know that if she's practicing safe sex, then you're basically you're you're good to go raw.

You're good to go in raw. But I think, listen, it's I mean, do you agree with me that there are everyone's fucking raw? Yes. It's sad to say. I agree with you that everyone is doing that. I just like want people to know as much as as you can play condom poker or whatever, every single time you have sex with someone without a condom, you're having sex with them and every person

they've slept with. No, and it's, listen, it is, I am not saying don't use condoms. I'm just saying, I'm addressing that no one uses them anymore. And I'm just saying be a little mindful. Do a little investigation. A little investigation station. Because you don't want a fucking stitter. You don't want a stitter.

The stids are not cute. They're not called STDs anymore. They're STIs. Why? Because disease was like not correct not scaring the shit out of people well let's talk about stds for a minute yeah they're no joke they're no no they're no joke and they're a big deal but alex and i just want to address that they for the most part are curable and or manageable yeah i think not curable some of them i think

manageable i i think that's a great thing to bring up and i feel like people are so awkward talking about us cds the amount of fucking people in this office that have probably have one it's like it is what it is because i just talked about fucking everyone's having raw sex it's gonna happen i do want to say that girls i know you just said it's gonna happen it's gonna happen i do want to say that girls i know you just said it's gonna happen it's gonna happen no no no um there i know there are people that like listen in high school and college and shit listen you are most of them you are not going to die for example my friend got one and started bawling her fucking eyes out and started writing a will. Yes. And she was like, my mom's going to get this.

My dad's going to get this. Like you're not going to fucking die. You get one. In college. My, one of my roommates got, um, chlamydia.

And I remember I was, I didn't know what classic, classic. She got her first STD. It was chlamydia. I love that. I say first, like she was,

Hey, it's like when you get your period, it's her fucking rite of passage. Her first STD. when you get your period. It's her fucking rite of passage. Her first STD. When you get your period and your parents like you're a woman. She's like she got her first STD. Like claps to you. Claps to you.

Oh. No pun intended. So she gets the chlamydia and I didn't really know anything about it. And so I remember sitting in her dorm room with her bawling our eyes out. And we were just like, this is the end. Like, this fucking sucks. Like, you're going to die. Like, was the sex even worth it?

And then I think the reason we're bringing this up is because I know there are people that listen that are in high school and college. Yes. And girlfriends. You're going to survive. You're going to survive. You're going to see another day. Most of them.

You're going to wake up. Most of them. Most of them. Most STDs, like, legit, I know it's scary. We're not, like, downplaying them. But if you do get stds like legit i know it's scary we're not like downplaying them but if you do get an std dude it's legit you go to play in parenthood you pop a pill and you don't have to tell your parents you don't have to tell anyone just yeah so um but you should be taking it seriously obviously and using condoms um unless you know oh my god we are call her daddy

we just fucking contradict ourselves all day long. Um, actually, actually, I have something that I want to say. I was hanging out with my friend and he was showing me his grinder and that is a dating app for the gays. If you guys didn't know. Okay. And he was showing me like these people's profiles and it fucking says the last time you were tested. And then it also says, um, if you are HIV positive or not on your dating profile.

Why the fuck? Why doesn't Tinder have that? Why doesn't Raya have that? I want I'm just going to start putting that in mine. What the fuck? Wait, that's actually pretty like brilliant. Right. The fact that you have to put the last time you were tested.

Wait, didn't you also tell me that they put their position? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They put it there a top or a bottom of their versatile. Dude, imagine if we have a call her daddy dating app because they'll put their favorite position. Can you imagine if you put your favorite position? It was like the reverse cyclone.

I'm a gluck, gluck 9. Get it from the back. Like what? A gluck, gluck 9,000 performer or like a cooch gobbler approved dude that's why we need our own dating app well wow grinders fucking lit i know what the fuck i don't know why we don't have that but um the thing with stds guys if you find out you have one and you are so embarrassed and you like do not want to tell the person who gave it to you yeah you don't tell them you don't tell them i i actually

would fucking kill someone if they gave me an std and i found out because they were cheating on me the thing about a situation like that and cheating in general which we can don't listen to this segue oh all right is that it makes the breakup easier i I know that sounds crazy, but it really does. Sophia, you just spit knowledge on my face. You just spit it across the room. That's fucking brilliant. I need you to explain that because I get what you're saying, but I want to make sure everyone else does. Because when you have a tangible, valid reason to fucking hate someone, then the breakup is that much easier.

I fucking love this topic. The amount of people that have written in and been like, how the fuck do I get over a breakup? Let's go ham right now. How to get over a breakup. If I hear somebody say, you get over someone by getting under someone else i'm going to fucking pull my eyelashes nobody in the daddy gang is ever allowed to say that fucking quote ever again it's so stupid you know what no quotes no quote if you're going through a breakup you're not allowed to use a quote oh how about that i like that guys it's so you're right fuck the goddamn quote keep them to yourself

write them in your diary i think i would rather see see a quote, like a Gandhi quote on a thirst trap than a fucking depressed quote on a caption once you break up. It's fine. Quotes have gotten me through some shit. Yeah, but write it on your wall. And that's the truth. But I screenshotted it and like put it in my phone. Yeah, make it your fucking background.

You couldn't catch me dead going through a breakup and being like, if he can't handle me at my worst, he sure as hell can't handle me at my worst he sure as hell doesn't deserve me at my best dude no guys you look so fucking butthurt my main advice to get over a goddamn breakup is to be so up your own ass that you don't have time to be up anyone else's you're gonna oh put that on a fucking t-shirt baby no seriously guys like i i know we're never really serious but like in all seriousness getting over over a breakup, there is nothing better. It's the whole like, oh, like rebound and fuck his ex and do this and get under someone to get over someone. No, your main focus is no longer on this person because you know what?

As far as you're concerned, they are dead, dead, dead. That's what Sophia and I say. You are mourning the loss of the death. I know it sounds funny, but it is so fucking true. No, have a little funeral session, a little burial in your room. Put him to bed and he's gone. She's gone. They're dead.

They are dead. You have to live your life at least for the first while. Absolutely. Because it's, guys, like I was trying to be serious for a minute. The whole thing is if you go out and you're thinking of, oh, I'm going to party and I'm going to post so many things on my story and I'm going to be so out there about how I'm living my best life. You just look like a fucking try hard.

The best way to live your goddamn fucking life is to be off the internet. It's like you're having too much fucking fun to even post. Okay. So girls, girls I think are more into this than guys. We're out there. We're showing our labia. We're posting, which we tell you to do to make a man jealous. The minute you break up with a guy, you are radio silence on social media.

Girls and guys. Yeah. I think. And as cliche as it sounds, this is the time where you got to focus on yourself. Yeah. Focus on you. focus on yourself. Yeah. Focus on you. And that's. Yeah.

That's the best revenge. That's what you're after. So no more quotes. No more drunk snaps. Also, can I just say that I feel like a lot of people that are emotionally unstable automatically think I'm going to go fuck his friend or I'm going to go fuck the whatever. No. And then you find yourself crying at 2 a.m. because he doesn't fuck like your ex.

And you're like, oh, I've totally been there where I'm like, oh, my God. And I'm going to I'm mid hook up. And I'm like, oh, my God, his dick was so his dick fit my vagina so much better. And it's like, OK, no, you got to wait to fuck someone. If you're if you know this one, this is a very specific to each his own if you are a very emotional person do not try to go fuck someone because you're gonna find yourself bawling your fucking eyes out while he's mid thrust right and you start crying you're like his dick was mean for my vagina yeah and just like shut the fuck up no guys guys might be a

little bit different but i don't know can we tell them what what to do if your ex contacts you blocked blocked blocked blocked block block it's all i get fucking trigger finger happy you guys you don't even know how good it feels to fucking go look at your block list and it is just pages and pages it's longer than your text message thread it's amazing it's that's your fault dude i would low-key love to like screenshot the amount of people you have blocked it's it's brilliant guys i'm serious when i break up with someone or sophia does the minute if they're trying to still contact you block the fucking shit out of them for at least like two weeks yes and listen i get it like i am that bitch that's like yeah but i want to know what he says so you don't this is the one actually this is the one time i'm gonna tell them turn off their red

receipts i it's no longer about being petty girls when you are done with the relationship and if that person is still hitting you up you know what you can do is you can turn off your i message for certain people so all of those texts will send is green. So it will look as if you've blocked someone, even though you haven't. But you're still getting the text? Yep. Are you a scientist? Dude! I am.

I fucking love that. Right. So basically you can either do that or turn off your red receipts and just let them keep getting delivered. We're out. I used to do that, actually. Most of the time I'll just block someone. But like there was a guy I was dating and like I wanted to know so badly what he said and i was like you are getting fucking blocked and then

i would just turn the i message off and i would still see like little do you know i see everything so guys yeah that's just like a little and we might be rambling but sorry but getting under someone and like fucking no that goes that's the same thing as like a lot of us i know me specifically i feel inclined to rage. Yes. Yes. And I will just go balls to the wall. And then, you know, what's not fun is when you fucking sober up and you're like, oh my

God. And the next morning, really? Now I'm really upset. Listen, I'm going to give you a quick little Alex Cooper moment where I'm going to say everybody needs to just understand that the end of the fucking day, we're all going to die and no one is willing to get in that fucking casket with you. Okay. So if you're not happy with someone or they fucked you over, you're going to move on and

basically find something that makes you fucking happier. There's no time to waste fucking over bitch boys or over slores. Also, Alex and I were talking about this. Like there is no reason that the world should come crashing around you when you go through. No people, men and women, you got to have your own shit going on and I don't want to sound preachy, but like it should be the type of thing where it really sucks and it's a hard thing to go through. You go through a breakup. It shouldn't be like, holy shit, I need to start from ground zero and figure out my life.

Dude, the amount of times, and I can't stress it enough, I've posted about it on my Instagram, that I have gone through a breakup. I know it sounds corny, but the bad always brings you to something good. I wouldn't be sitting in this chair if it wasn't for a fucking breakup. Like, shit just propels you to better shit. Alex and I were talking about this. The reason I'm in New York was because of a breakup. The reason I met Alex was because of that insane frolic. The reason I met Alex was because of that insane frolic.

The reason I met you was because of a breakup. She met me because of a breakup. And look where we are now. And now we're dating each other. And now we're getting married. And now we scissor every night. We're happier than any dick could ever make us. We found soulmates through our breakup.

So guys, stay positive and move on. And also find a good friend. I'm fucking staring at you. I'm a lesbian for you. but like it's true if you find someone that can support you through the hard time oh you know right right when the breakup happens it fucking sucks you can do whatever you need to do to like kind of get over it like i am so fucking lame dude i remember being in high school and i dude i was like going through a breakup and i was so in love with this guy and i would sit in my room and i would i would play that rihanna song go on and take a bath oh my god whatever she says and over and over and over for hours you look so dumb by

now and my mom would like knock on the door and be like, dinner's ready. And I'd be like, I'm not coming. I can't eat, mom. Dude, I remember, this is a tangent, but I thought I was so in love in high school. And when we broke up, I shit you not, I was so fucking immature and gross. I wrote love letters to him every single day for like a couple months. And afterwards, I'm embarrassed to say'm embarrassed i dropped the box of letters off at his house like he has those on me like you got it from the notebook yes that was not an original thought i'm not kidding you it was like today i thought about you and i realized like we will soon

reunite like our parents are trying to keep us apart but this is stronger than anything anyone's ever die alex die die fuck me guys just think about yourself when you were younger and it's just basically like escalates when you're older we just get a little bit more mature and don't write love letters or sing take a bow but it's the same fucking shit not this might make you feel better this might make you feel worse you got about 20 more breakups where that one came from so true true and think about the guy that you cried over in high school i think breakups can be fun. Yeah. Lose some fucking weight. That's not a joke. No. Lose weight. Absolutely.

That revenge bod. Even just like there's some satisfaction into like having to live your best life. It is. It's like forces you to move on. And it's great. So anyone that's going through a breakup or is about to go through a breakup or if you've wanted to been breaking up with someone. Yeah. Do it. Positivity up in in this bitch and then just listen to our podcast yeah we're here for you so wow wow in you know it's kind of crazy that on the 22nd episode we're gonna touch on this because in call her daddy fashion we went straight to intercourse and oral and all that great stuff. And we skipped right over fingering. Like, we just forgot the basics.

And we're like, so when you're pegging your bitch and when you're fucking sucking his asshole, it's like, what about just like maybe like a finger in the vagina? What a concept. We apologize for skipping over that one because it's fucking important. Yeah, I actually do feel pretty bad. Foreplay is important. It is so fucking important. Girls can come from getting fingered.

They can. So. So, boys, ladies, gentlemen, I think that the first thing I just have to say about fingering is just put it out there, the jackhammer, the goddamn fucking jackhammer. It's got to stop. It is. It's got to stop. It's got to stop.

Knock it off. Knock it off. Knock it off. Knock it off. Guys, it is. Honestly, the most terrifying thing for a girl I think in sex is one of the things is the jackhammer. Boys. I'm going to refer to you as boys if you're using the jackhammer. So I will never forget.

I was so excited to hook up with this guy. I was in college and he was not in college and i was so pumped he's so hot whatever we get to hooking up and he's going down to finger me and i'm like ready for it he puts his fingers in like the gun position so like index finger and middle finger bitch going in let's fuck he takes his index and middle finger. And when I tell you, he didn't even fucking like lube it up. He just shot his fingers up there. And he was going at rapid speed, like fucking fingering me like so fast and hard in one speed. And I wanted to die.

I know it well. It die. I know it well. It is. I know it well because it's happened to me. And it's terrifying. And I swatted his hand away like a disgusting fly. I wanted to take my foot and kick him in the head. It's insane. And be like, how did that feel?

Because that's how my vagina feels. Guys, that needs to stop. It needs to stop. Like, everything with a girl, you need to ease into it. Yeah. I don't want to hear about this shit anymore. No, guys. I'm so extremely upset.

I am pissed. I just want the daddy gang to do what they need to do. But dude, the amount of people, this is the thing, guys. Yeah. Fingering a girl is one of those things that like if you're good at fingering a girl and maybe your stroke game isn't as good like that can low-key like holster you up for a little bit like if you're good at fingering a girl you're in yeah so work on your fucking game yes please i for my vagina sake i mean

a thousand percent so here we go here we we go. Listen up. Listen up. I've said it once and I'll say it again. You got to focus on, you guessed it, the clit. Alex, say it with me again. The clit. I hope you guys know what that is. It pisses me off that people just like keep forgetting it. How do you forget it? It's like the fucking heartbeat to the pussy.

Oh my God. Oh my God. You are, you are going. On some shit today. But you, your fingers should not enter inside of her until you have played around and on the clit. Yes. Okay?

It's so, it's so important to focus on that shit. And like Sophia said, boys, you are not fucking going in like I said earlier the guy did with two fingers. You start with one fucking finger. Okay, but I think we need to back up. Okay, the clit. You're right. Okay. You're right.

You're going to spend most of your time, I would argue, outside of the vagina. Yes. 100%. You're going to rub her clit around the vagina. And you can kind of spread her lips and use that wetness and bring it up to the clit. Yes. Oh, my God. Fucking brilliant. Okay, this is what I have to say.

Yes. To get your girl wet. If she's not wet already. If she's not wet already. If she's not wet already, two options. First of all, you can shove your fingers in her mouth. Yep. That's hot. And a lot of guys are like, what do I say?

You don't say shit. No. You take your two fingers, you shove them down her throat. She will know. She'll know. She'll put some fucking slobber on that shit. And then you go down to her pussy and you wipe it on it

and now that shit's lubed up. Yeah. Number two, if you don't know her that well and you don't want to be that aggressive with it, then you can either, I mean, some girls don't like when they spit in their hand.

I like it. I don't mind it. I think a guy, I think you just like lick your hand. And you put it down there. Your fingers. That's what I'm saying. I don't mind the spit, but I know some girls don't love it.

But spit in your fucking hand and get her wet. I'm down with it. Okay, good. Glad. So when you do decide to go in, are you doing one or two or three or four or five? You're doing a fist. You're doing one fucking. Shocker.

You're doing one. Dude, shocker. No, you're doing one finger to start boys and that's that one finger one and then after then you can add the second one yes you can progress yes you start with one fucking finger okay no fucking call her daddy man is going in with three fingers in there to start. The shocker. No, dude, no. And then it should be slow. And once you're doing that, you should do a come hither motion. Yes.

Right? Come hither. Fish around for the G spot. Fish around. Now, I have to say that the issue with a lot of people, or a lot of guys, is they do the same goddamn thing the whole fucking time right and that is the thing that pisses girls off can you please imagine boys look down at your penis right now as you're listening look down at that little guy and say would you like it would you like it if a girl gave you a blow job and did the same thing the entire time just up and down same speed no no mix it up mix it the fuck up

with the come hither motion i also like when a guy does like a circular motion yes does that make sense with the middle finger we talked about with the middle finger let's tell him about that little move this move this okay is called alex the clockwise delight the clockwise delight and you guys think that you've fingered a girl correctly or you've been fingered correctly before no no no you haven't this is what you're gonna do this is after you have played with her clit for 45 minutes all right you are going to insert your middle finger into her vagina. Yes. As deep as you can go. Like straight up.

Homegirl is taking a dildo to the back. You are shoving it so deep. Yes, but it's your finger and it has to be the middle finger. It has to be. And what you're going to do is you're going to kind of squirm your finger around. Yeah. But the main thing you're going to do is is you're gonna start going in a clockwise motion okay and you are going to stimulate her g-spot like it has never been stimulated before guys i

don't think this cannot be stressed enough like we said fingering is so big for girl but when you specifically there's just something about the middle finger. And when it goes up there and like straight up, it's like touching your palm. Your palm is facing the ceiling. Yes. You put the middle finger in. You kind of do the come hither motion. You squirm your finger around and then you start going around. Yes.

And then occasionally, guys, when you're feeling like, okay, I've gone around like four times. Then you move it forward in that come hither motion towards her G spot and hit it and then keep doing circles yes and mix it up and then yeah and then and then while all this is happening you're like okay what else can i be doing this is a perfect opportunity for you guys to take your thumb and you're gonna put it on her clit yes and we can't stress enough that you're not putting it on her clit and like moving your thumb you literally can just leave like the contact of your thumb on her clit without even moving your thumb your thumb is basically just lightly hovering over her clit yeah super easy right and this this position guys i swear to you the clockwise delight this is something that you incorporate i think you would

do it like once she's wet midway through fingering her this is you don't start with this right this is 45 minutes after you've been on her clit boom okay straight up the other thing that we wanted to touch on is what your face should be doing while you're fingering a girl oh my god because i just dude i have caught a guy watching tv before what i have straight up been getting fingered by a guy and he was watching tv and i dried up like the sahara desert and he never fucked me you're like get the fuck out of here so you know what i actually like is when a guy like continues making out with me and it's so hot it's not like he has to be like making out the whole time but

like you know what i'm saying oh my god okay guys when you're fingering a girl it's so much different than eating her out when you're down there you don't need to be down at her vagina with your face and her pussy you can straight up have your body still kind of on her be on like a little bit to the side yeah have your finger doing the work and then when you're on top of her you guys should straight up be making out with her kissing her neck like staying in contact i think the body contact it's so hot and you don't have to be disconnected exactly the guy just talked about that did the fucking jackhammer move on me oh my god he was down there and i fucking this is all coming back bad memories ptsd it all comes back he looks up at me while he's legit

finger fucking me and he goes yeah yeah you like that yeah you feel that hell yeah hell yeah he said no yeah i said no get out of here guys that is the fucking worst i am sorry but like everyone's like oh my god call her daddy they're gonna talk about fingering um fuck yeah we're gonna talk about fingering because i almost got taken out the other day like a guy almost took me out he took you literally by fingering legit we had a girl right in that she was bleeding yeah guys don't know how to and it's so important i want to say guys also going back to your dick because i think it's helpful when we like do a little comparison you know how sensitive your dick is guys after you finish and she keeps sucking on it.

That is how our clit feels all the time times 10. So don't you dare go ham on that shit. You can also move up to the hood, go back down to the clit. Don't fucking just chill out on the clit. Right. All right. I totally agree. So I do think also another thing I want to say back to basics is guys, please. The cleanliness is a necessity.

Clip your fucking fingernails. She doesn't want you carving hydroglyphics on her walls with those fucking talents. OK, what? Make sure they're clean. OK, and I'm not saying you have to go get a fucking gel manicure, but like clean your shit up. So fucking become an expert. And I mean, if you're a guy and

you're an expert at all of it then this girl is devoted to you and you're dead seriously guys if you take anything away from this finger segment spread the wetness and focus on the fucking clit and if you don't know what the clit is watch out there hang hang netflix and chill with that clit yes please yes okay let's get into questions okay so i'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is always asking me to send pictures of my pussy how do i take a picture that i'm not absolutely repulsed by do i use flash how much do i spread what's a good angle please help me oh girl see my natural go-to advice is like, fuck the pictures. Only send videos. Like, you can, I mean, honestly, obviously you're going to send pictures of your pussy,

but like. The vagina is hard. It's a hard one. The vagina is a tough one. It is. And my advice is to have something in there. Have a good something in there. And I don't mean a cucumber.

It could be a dildo. It could be your fingers. Yeah. Yeah. You can spice it. I mean, you can eventually, if you're sending a a bunch just put a bunch of different shit in there but for for my for for my um my storage unit sorry china i think i think it can be hot if you send the picture because i know girls feel weird spreading their legs yeah and taking a picture okay i think it's

really hot i actually saw this on someone's phone once they accidentally showed it to me. A girl was, I've never done this, a girl was standing in front of the mirror and then she squatted down in front of the mirror with no underwear on and heels and took a picture with her pussy just like spread in the mirror. Would you have the balls to do that? I think so. It's kind of hot. I think it could be hot.

That actually is really hot. When I say to use your fingers, I think there's two ways to do it because I just brought it to my attention. that i think so it's kind of hot i think it could be hot i that actually is really hot when i say to use your fingers i think there's two ways to do it because i just brought it to my attention you can actually put them down there and like have your lip spread okay use it like this right you guys can totally see what i'm doing this is the podcast what you're like using your finger i'm such an idiot okay or to have them actually inside totally great and like have it be wet like so he can actually see the flash no no no no fucking that will be like we don't fucking no chicken cutlet dear god um i do think though

videos guys like if you want to ramp it up a video is the shit if you're like using your vibrator your fingers and send him like a quick video of yourself touching yourself and boom you are started the clit okay can we educate the daddies on Kegels? Any guy I've hooked up with has gone crazy over it and came within seconds. Oh! We have never talked about Kegels. Dude, we should do a whole segment. I'm doing them right now.

Okay, me too. Wait. Oh. Yeah. They're hard. They're a lot. Guys, Kegels, for those of you who don't know. Dude, Kegels during sex are so good well and if you're

if you're doing them every day it makes the sex so much better i and your orgasms better it's true girls also like if you are basically you tell him like as a joke to kind of like stop for a minute and if you are so strong with your kegels you're basically like pulsating on his dick if you do your kegels on him yeah like especially say you his dick if you do your kegels on him yeah like especially say you're on top okay and you lean forward and you go to like kiss him and you stop basically like riding him up and down or side to side and you do your kegels on him while you're like making out with him and he feels you doing that on his dick golden genius beautiful love marriage children success and it's and it's so much better for the girl because it gives you

like more control over your pelvic floor because people think kegels are just to make your like vagina tighter which like no no this shit can be used during sex yes um my fuck buddy and i had some bomb ass sex and he's super chilled to be around he suggested a few kinky things to try while hooking up and so far so good no complaints by any means but this dude keeps asking me to fuck him in the ass with a dildo and then use a double dildo to fuck each other in the ass at the same time and i'm honestly horrified and don't know what to do please help a double-sided dildo a dope wait so the dildo goes in both of their asses and they're back to back like they're both on yeah their hands and knees that That's the only way.

I mean, unless it's going in her vagina, but like I don't think that would really work. So they would both be getting fucked in the ass and it would be penetrating by them both going back and forth on it. Yeah, it's like that scene from Requiem for a Dream if anyone's ever seen it. I've never seen it.

What happens? There's like two girls and they desperately need heroin and these guys make them use a double-sided dildo. It's a great movie, great film. And you're gonna like die like get some heroin by getting fucked in the ass i love that but how do you feel about that should she do it i think you do what have we told what have we told the daddies if it feels good do it and if you want to try it do it also with that said if you don't feel comfortable doing something don't do it exactly if you want to experiment if you don't feel comfortable doing something, don't do it. Exactly. If you want to experiment, if you don't like it, stop.

But, you know, that would be a very interesting thing. It would be like reverse human centipede. You're just going. OK, next. Next. Fuck. OK. This was a story. One of my friends works as an urgent care nurse and she had a woman come in complaining

of vaginal odor and heavy discharge it was so bad that the doctor nurse came out of the exam room dry heaving it was fucking disgusting so this chick didn't understand what the issue was and was like concerned that it was an infection long story short a few weeks prior the bitch got hammered and hooked up with this dude and he ended up shoving a basketball sock up her vagina. What? And it had been there for weeks.

What? I'm talking like a long, striped, thick basketball sock with that 70s style vibe going on. The chick had a horrendous infection because of this and had no idea it was up there. To add insult to injury, she was pregnant.

I mean, that doesn't matter. What the fuck? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Why was there a basketball sock up there? Hold on. Why? This bitch had a full-blown sock up shoved in her pussy and she was like, I think I've got an infection.

Do you think the guy was using the sock as a condom? Dude, what? He puts a sock over his dick and fucks her? And fucks it into her? No, I could low-key see. Okay, this is all I can think of. What? Is they're fucked up.

He's fucked up in the head. And he puts the sock. Why though? In her vajini. I don't know. Dude. Wait, how does that get in there? Low key, what I'm picturing is he puts it at the vagina and like starts like slowly like pushing it in until it's in.

And then he puts his dick and he shoves it farther. I think he's using it as a condom. Why would you use a fucking sock? He had the biggest schlong ever. No condom was going to fit it. Swinging pendulum. He had to use a basketball sock. And then it got stuck up in there and the girl just didn't remember.

So, my ex and I were in Hawaii with his aunt and his grandmother. They were away for breakfast so we got down and dirty right in the middle of the kitchen floor they came home and they found us in 69 no my legs were wrapped around his ears covering them and he didn't hear a single thing when they walked in i was hitting him telling him to stop but i had locked around his head and he was holding me so hard his aunt and his aunt and grandmother just stood there for a solid minute or two he just thought i was so into the oral by pulling him and slapping him and telling him to stop i was trying to get him to stop and he wouldn't it was the most embarrassing moment of my life dude oh my god so she was trying to be like get the fuck off and he's like oh she loves it she's like babe stop stop and he's like, she's about to cum on my face. Wait, and it was her aunt and grandma?

Grandmother. I would backflip off his fucking face. Dude, that is my nightmare. That is so bad. And the fact that it's like she's locked in. She couldn't get up. Right. She could not do anything.

She's like sitting there just like. She's like looking at them like, please, look away. I also feel like 69 is way worse than just actual sex to get caught doing. So she, so wait, so she. Just for the fact that like your like ass is in a face and like, you know what I mean? Oh my, I pray for you. That poor grandma, I'm surprised she didn't drop dead. Would you rather your parents or your grandparents walk in on you?

Ooh. I like low-key thing my grandparents. I kind of do, too. Because they're like one degree removed. Right, right, right. Oh, damn, girl. I am so sorry for you. That's some shit.

Hopefully you came. Right. That was an evil laugh. My God, sorry. Right in the fucking grandmother's face i hope jesus christ okay next okay listening to episode 21 and i got the part where you were wearing a ski mask in a sex tape you guys joked about well do i have a fucking story for you i've been with my boyfriend for seven years now maybe one to two and we were laying in bed and we somehow started talking about the

website chat roulette a little bit later we started hooking up and to be honest i'm not sure who even proposed the idea but we decided to put ski masks on set up the webcam and continue fucking on chat roulette while random people watched us i don't even think i ever looked to see who was watching the sex was so good thinking about who was watching now probably gives me the creeps, but whatever. Good experience. Wait. Dude, that's like low-key fucking savage. Wait, I'm down.

Me too. First of all, having sex with a ski mask on seems really fun. I agree. I said it as a joke and now I want to go try it. And also the fact that nobody nobody knew who they were. Yeah. And they were fucking on chat roulette and people were just watching them

and like nobody could ever find out who it was. Dude that's like low key fucking genius. Should we try it? I want to try it. That's like savage. Is chat roulette still a thing though? I think it's just guys jacking off.

Well that's what it always was. But I get it. I want to like get back on that. That could be like a little perverse thing where it's like knowing someone's jacking off to you guys fucking like i bet that's like lokiya turn on oh my god valentine's date night there you go that's fun this is what we're doing for valentine's day guys it is call her daddy and chill yeah you're gonna listen to our episode you're're going to get horny. Yeah.

You're going to get down. You're going to turn on chat. You're going to put ski masks on and you're going to fuck like rabbits and you're going to enjoy every second of that is call her daddy and chill and call her daddy and chill is going to get you laid 10 times quicker than Netflix and chill. I can actually do the amount of people that say they listen to our podcast and then mid podcasts are fucking. If you guys are trying to get laid, turn it on when your hookup comes over.

Yes. Savage. Oh, daddies. I am, I'm gonna, I'm sad the episode's over, but guys, I am so happy because I literally am gonna run out of this studio. I think I hit menopause because I'm having hot flashes.

No, I'm sweating so much. My life is like flashing before my eyes. Oh my God. Okay, so I guess that's it. That's it. Daddy's every fucking Wednesday. Every Wednesday guys. Again,

make sure to write in so we can feature your questions. And again, these are real fucking questions. We're not making this shit up. Like these are legit people listening, writing it. I mean, I'm in tube sock and a girl's vagina.

I don't think I'd even be that creative to make that shit up. So guys, we love you. Thank you so much for listening. Episode 22. Love you guys. Love you guys. See you next week.