Call Her Daddy - 31- You're Just a Hole

Episode Date: April 17, 2019

The girls are discussing some hard truths- men only care about the face, people who only mention eye color are ugly, and their sexual history together. They also talk public sex…high school forced the girls to hook up in some WEIRD places, (church, tractor, Dick Sporting Goods Tent, etc.) Lastly, they analyze a phenomenon that will have girls cringing and men clapping- WHY WOMEN ASK MEN SHIT THEY KNOW WILL HURT THEIR FEELINGS (relayed by the worst offenders). And oh yeah, how to make condoms hot. 

Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy? Call her daddy. Oh, wake up and smell that morning dick. You're disgusting. But you love that line. I don't think we need to say wake up and smell the morning dick. I think we do.

You do? Does uncircumcised dick smell more than normal dick? See, I don't think that's something we need to get into right off the bat. I think we do. Back at it again for another episode. It's Call Her Daddy. It's Alex and Sophia. The fathers.

The fathers. The founding fathers. Those who thy shall call thy fathers. Daddy gang, we're back. We're in the studio. We're feeling amped. Woo! It's been a good time.

We're back in New York. Yep. We just got back from our business trip to LA. Mm-hmm. Ooh, business trip. Ooh. We're like adults. We're still poor.

Shut up. I want to cry. And right off the bat, I just want to get into something very interesting about the trip. Because we went on several shows, several interviews. And the question we received the most was not how Call Her Daddy got started. God, no. It's not how we met. No, no.

It's not how we feel about the success of caller daddy hell no it was have you and alex fucked you know fuck it's like actually really messed up feminists around the world are shook shook it they would not ask two men this question dear god it's like they're more interested in if we have had sexual relations than anything else and why do it's fucked up but why do we think it's so funny we're over here like i don't know like i think it's funny like you say alex like you just said we'll just laugh in the face of adversity there you go what i mean um no and i just i do want to put it on record, though, that, I mean, we would never mix business with pleasure. Ever.

You're my business partner. Okay, but life on the road gets lonely. Oh, it gets lonely. And they may or may not, you know, put us in the same hotel room. And we may or may not request one bed. Fuck the two queens. We want one big king bed. It's kind of an HR issue.

It is a huge HR issue, but I don't really give a shit. No. No, no, no. We don't mix business and pleasure. But it gets lonely. But it gets lonely on the road, so we'll leave that up to your interpretation. I mean, we don't have an HR department here at Barstool, so I think we're fine. We won't confirm or deny.

Yeah, whatever. Anyways, the podcast was the last fucking thing anyone cared about. Are we sintering or are we not? Okay, so let's get into it. Anyways, on to the episode. Yeah, anyways, anyways. Wow, I have a truth bomb. Okay.

Men don't care about the goddamn face. Oh, it's all about the body these days, huh? Let's get right into it. Men don't care about the face, all right, it's all about the body these days, huh? Let's get right into it. Men don't care about the face, all right? But we heard this from a guy friend. A guy friend told us this. Do not shoot the messenger. We're just relaying the info.

No, we're just being kind and giving. Listen, this is something we heard from guys. Yeah, the body is really what matters when you're fucking, though, right? Way more when you're when you're fucking though right it's mostly way more when you're fucking so if you're just there for you know a hookup situation it's fucked up but ladies if you're spending money on makeup or eyelash extensions lip filler you know allocate that money to your tits and ass because that's the only thing that matters dude people are upset but it's the fucking truth and we're saying it here i'll call her daddy because that's the way we roll this isn't what i think okay no i'm relaying

the message i love women fuck boys out here i love women i love their faces i don't want you cutting a hole in a plastic bag no but the thing is girls you have to understand we always talk about how you're just a whole this is the thing god guys only care really about the body yeah and so what we we suggest that you do is you take initiative in these situations and when you're going for your fuck and your hookup and your one-night stand you put a plastic bag over your face or a paper bag or a fucking ski mask for all i give a shit but but you gotta make sure to cut a hole in the bag oh so they can breathe no alex in case that's the hole that he decides he wants to penetrate that's why we're literally getting cut off the air we're gonna get

fucking fired a hole and depending on their mood they may want to penetrate that specific hole and that's what it is. That's all I have to say. We're in a mood right now. We need to relax. We need to calm down. Okay. There you go. Episode 31, we're done.

No, no, no. Guys, no, to be serious, obviously we're kidding. If you're seriously dating someone, it's different. They care about the face. So listen, when we say all men in the universe. We need to stop doing that. Yeah, there are obviously exceptions. But what we're trying to say is men tend to care way more about the body than the face when they're going to hook up with a girl.

Actually, Milt Hunter told me that even if a girl has the prettiest face that he's ever seen, if she doesn't have the body type that he's personally attracted to, he's not trying to fuck her. Dude, he fucking said, listen to this one. He fucking said Ariana Grande, he thinks she has like the, one of the prettiest faces, so beautiful. But he was like, but she has the body of a fucking prepubescent 12 year old. So I'm obviously not trying to fuck. No.

So he's not masturbating to Ariana Grande. I low key kind of agree though. It's kind of true. Yeah, she does. It's a little rapey. She's beautiful, but I see. Yeah, it comes off a little rapey. Well, that's.

Whatever. That's all we have to say about that, you guys. Actually, no, sorry. Let me keep going. Oh. I just, I just i just remembered actually i didn't even tell you this i'd like to hear what you think about this speak for the masses sophia all right um i actually went on a date with a guy and he and this was a first date okay and he asked to see a picture of my mom shut up and if anyone doesn't know what that means a lot of times guys will ask to like see what your mom looks like because they basically think that's what you're gonna look like when

you're older so they want to see if you're gonna look like snatched wait hold that wait were you offended i feel like i kind of would be like dude i thought it was fucking weird like yeah my first day i don't even know yeah i was like i don't even know if we're gonna make out i don't even know if i like you and you're already planning like pull up a picture of your dad yeah you fucking loser you like and while you're at it pull out your dick right let me just quickly get to the point do i want to fuck it or not fuck you so that was interesting fuck guys uh all right so men care about the face what do girls no men care about the body fuck wow men care about the body yeah they don't care about your face fuck no what do girls care about um money money money money money your bank account

and that is all that matters here money right you when he was like let me see your mom you should be like let me see your 401k let's go yo Boom. How fucking true. I actually think it sounds fucking corny, but I don't really care about the body. I care more about his face. So it's kind of opposite. And to top that off and people are gonna be like, Sophia, the fuck out of here. Their personality. It's true. It's true, though.

Guys are so visual. They care so much about the way a girl looks. It just is what it is. But confirming because I could see people be like, no, guys are like, no, we do care. No, you care if you're trying to date a bitch. If you're just trying to get your dick wet and you're just trying to fuck, you don't give a fuck what her personality is. Because you're kicking her out after you're fucking. So, yeah, girls are like dad bods for the win because they don't care.

They'd rather face. So that's good. I'm glad we clarified. Do you have any other comments about people's fucking appearances? We're really philosophers asking life's toughest questions we are it's money and your ass that's it uh side note i have a theory all right i think when you say you have a theory it's like when someone says they love you i get butterflies when sophia says she's a theory because i know

this shit's gonna be fucking way out of left field here we go so tell us your theory this is so fucking random okay but i have this theory when someone is constantly trying to talk about their eye color or when someone is describing someone to you and all they mention is the eye color of someone okay that person's fucking ugly what yes yes wait can you wow i never thought about that like okay my friend okay this second i'm she's like talking to a guy yeah if she if i ask her like what he looks like and she doesn't mention anything but she says the only thing she says is he has the most beautiful green eyes I'm like he's fucking he's ugly that's the only thing

he's hideous and that is the only thing she could find I feel like I've had people this is actually it's a real thing I have theories guys and they are I actually think that's pretty brilliant I think that there are um a lot of Again, everyone has a different definition of what they think is pretty and what they don't think is attractive. So don't like come at us for being like, OK, that like shut the fuck up. What I wanted to say, though, is I feel like I've had girls that when they describe themselves or they're talking about themselves, I always mentioned I worked with this girl who, in my opinion, was not Angelina Jolie-esque.

Okay. She wasn't as attractive to you. No. Okay. And I'm not saying I'm not fucking attractive. No. Okay. No, no.

Absolutely not. But we would be at work. Fuck no. You ugly piece of shit. But I worked with her and she would constantly be talking about her eye color and how people always compliment her on her eye color and how certain clothing brings out her fucking blue eyes. And I'm like, the reason she won't shut the fuck up about her eyes is because she's

hideous. That is a hunchback in Notre Dame. Yeah. Gollum. Wow. So. So guys, if you're like DMing girls and they're like, I just have like this eye thing, like they're fucking ugly, I guess.

All right. That's a good theory. So this, this, that was just a real side note. But what are we about to bring to them, Alex? Okay. I feel like this segment may be one of the most revolutionary moments. Do we say that about everything? Yes, but it is.

Listen, we are going to talk about a topic that to guys, men are not only going to appreciate this segment, but they are going to celebrate what we are talking about. Yes. And women are going to be a little bit triggered. This is going to hit home. But like every woman has done it, so they're going to be cringing. Every woman can attest to doing this. Okay.

So let's give it to them. Women asking men to answer a question that they know is going to hurt their feelings. Oh my God. Breaking that down. AKA that means girls when you ask him more like harass him yeah to answer something yeah that is undoubtedly gonna hurt your feelings yep and what you're asking usually is something a that is really none of your business and be something that this man has no control over and something you have no right to be upset about nope yeah but you're gonna ask anyways alex give them an example all right here we go guys are like i know this well okay for

example is when you're um hooking up with a guy and you ask him about a girl that you know he fucked. Yep. And you ask him, was the sex good? I already know what you were going to say because I've done it a million times. And he sits there. Yep. And he will literally say, I'm not telling you that. Why would I tell you that? What's the point? You're just going to get fucking upset.

And you sit there. And the girl. And you literally look him in his fucking face and you're like, what is the big deal? Just tell me. I don't care. I'm not going to get upset. You convince him that you are not going to get upset. And you guys go back and forth.

And this can take hours. Hours. Hours. Until finally you force it out of him. You force it out of him. And he fucking snaps. And he's like, here. yes, the sex was fucking great. Are you happy?

Yep. And then right when he says that, you start hyperventilating. You fall to the ground. Your eyes swell up with tears. You can't form a sentence. You lose all motor skills. You're like, oh, wow. Oh, okay. Okay, wow. Wow. you're like oh wow oh okay okay well oh well and you're holding back the tears or or and he's like

why what or sometimes you play in a different direction which i've also done okay and before he can even make like finish his sentence you look at him and you're like you have never been more single goodbye you will never touch me again why would you say that to me you clearly don't even care about me you look you have never cared about me you weren't supposed to tell me that why the fuck did you say that and he's like bitch what are you talking about force him to answer your ridiculous question and once he answers you like, you're an asshole. Why would you say that to me? Dude, and the worst thing is he's fucking sitting there dumbfounded.

He's like, you basically put a gun to my head, bitch, and made me tell you. And now, after you promised you wouldn't be upset, you are on the floor fucking bawling your eyes out or you just pulled a knife on me. Like, it's literally like you sit there and you're like, why are you being so weird? Just tell me I'm not going to get upset. And you flip it. And it's the scariest thing and every single girl has done it.

I am the worst where an answer doesn't even cut it. It's like, i need details like me asking was the sex good and him saying it was good no no no no no i need a beginning middle and end and this shit that i have asked is shocking like i'm like oh my god so how tight was she would she moan was she loud was she a squirter what positions would you guys do was she? Would she moan? Was she loud? Was she a squirter? What positions would you guys do? Was she kinky? Was it better than me? Was her pussy tighter than mine? Like would you guys do threesomes?

I'm not kidding. I'm like can you explain to me the anatomy of her vagina please? And he's like why are you asking? Dude. I'm like do you have any film or audio from her? So I can really get the full scope of what you were up to it's insane half of the fucking time when girls are asking these

questions oh so was the sex good with her it's usually fucking a girl that he literally was fucking before he even met you it was a girl he was fucking before he met you know you were alive didn't know you were alive he's like why are you crying yes this has nothing to do with my feelings great dude it's fucking nuts and this can take the thing this is what i want to point out okay is a guy will start by saying i would rather not answer absolutely not you nope but when you sit there oh my god for hours hours it's similar to holding out for the confession when you're trying to get them to confess that they had done something wrong or cheated on you or whatever. They just want you to shut the fuck up at a certain point. So they end up being like, yes.

Yes, fine. It was great. It was fine. Great, fine. Fuck you. Dude, I actually have done this way more than I like to admit. Every female has done this way more than I like to admit every female has done this and you know what is the worst is when you do this with a guy that eventually you do it so much that they start

to catch on and they're like no more yeah I'm not answering fuck no like you bring it up they're done I literally did it the other week okay oh my god I asked the guy i'm talking to i was like so when's the last time you had sex and he was like alex i'm not telling you that like please stop yeah you do this and then you get upset and i was like i am not gonna get upset to answer that no it's not my business but he knows the game so he's like i'm over it we're not doing it and i just continue to pester him until finally just to get you to but like you had said shut the fuck up he snaps and he's just like here there you go yeah the last person i and then so he actually ended up telling me i forced it out of him and he told me the last girl he slept with and how did you

react and it wasn't me so immediately i was like i'm gonna fling myself off my balcony. And he's like, here we go. Guys, it's the worst because if you don't know the girl that he fucked. Yeah. And you don't know her identity. Uh-oh. That becomes your next mission. I want to stalk her. I want to send her to you so you can see if she's hotter than me. I want to know I'm hotter.

I want to know her hobbies. I want to know where she lives. And you start stalking. Oh, my God. And then you try to get the name. And then that's a whole different combo because trying to get the name from the guy is like who was it and he's like what are you talking it's it's this unbelievable I hope this makes sense because and I want to just make a quick point okay and and and and honestly there is never a right answer that's. That's what I was just saying.

What are we looking for? This is the thing. If I ask a guy about a girl and I ask him, was the sex good? If he tells me it's great, I'm going to cry or break up with him. Crying, bawling, slinging myself off the bridge. If he tells me that, you know, it wasn't that good. It was all right. It was okay.

Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. It was way better than me. You know it. I know it wasn't that good it was all right it was okay liar liar liar it was way better than me you know what i know what everybody knows you're in love with you little bitch it's why do women do this you're right there's never a good answer it's like we're masochists like we get this sick craving to get hurt dude it's like we want like sabotage it's so true because you're right when you just said if he says yeah no it wasn't good we called him a liar but then if he says it was good then we think fuck you why would you even tell me that right i don't want to know that he's like you just put an actual pistol to my forehead you know what men never never would do this ever ever fucking do this that makes me want to cry ever fuck they

know better they know that's so i don't want to hear about my girl fucking another guy and i don't want to know if it was good and this is one of the rare instances where i'm going to say men you're smarter you're oh yeah you're better equipped situation that every guy's smiling right now like no because it's crazy i actually quickly was just thinking i can't help myself oh absolutely the guy was just referencing that i asked and he was like no no no and then finally he told me and i was like flinging myself now goodbye i will ask him all the time. Yeah. Questions. And I like have this sick desire for him to ask them back. Why don't you ask me? And then I end up looking like a fucking asshole.

Sometimes I'm like, well, whatever. Cause I bet mine was better. And he's like, I don't care who you're fucking. You're like, his dick was eight inches. And that's what I have to say. I don't want to know. Yeah. So I think girls, every girl is like, fuck. dick was eight inches and that's what i have to say about i don't want to know yeah so i think

girls every girl is like fuck we ask these questions because we have this sick need like yeah we want to get hurt and we want to be distraught or we want to just sabotage like i don't know what it is girl man no man i would say i'm going to work on this, but, you know. But, like, not? Oh, fuck. It's toxic. It is really, really toxic. And, Alex, like we've said, men love the crazy. They love the crazy. So, maybe we should just keep doing this.

I mean, guys, thanks for being the mature ones, but. I watched No One Does This, and we're just like. Everyone in America, every female ever. Every single girl with a vagina. No, I, yeah. But I think most girls. I hope you guys can relate. And guys are all sitting there like, yeah.

Wow. Sucks. Sucks to be a man. It really does. All right. We need to do a quick fucking PSA because every guy, I think we talked about this in a previous episode. Men need help.

Men need help, yeah. Well, they need help with a lot of things, but this is one of them. say because um every guy i think we talked about this in a previous episode but i mean men need help yeah well they need to help with a lot of things but this is one of them guys are asking what do you guys like for manscaping shaved not shaved and i mean down by the the balls and the dick not your face um right because i do love scruff on a face oh what do you oh oh love it um what do you what do you think about downtown region of the penis area? I think trim. I do not like a naked mole rat situation. I don't like naked mole rat either. I would prefer a bunch of hair to no hair.

Yeah. I don't want it completely groomed like you went and got waxed with me. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. I like a little bit of hair, guys. And then because you know what? Especially when you're sucking dick and you go down there, I don't want a fucking mouthful of like a hairbrush, a cough ball, like a hairball. Yeah. I don't want that. So guys, I would personally, I mean, again, this is just

Sophia, my preference. If you are hooking up with a girl, ask her, be like, babe, what do you like? But if you're hooking up with Sophia or I in the future, Alex and I take this podcast very seriously. Very seriously. And we do our research. My friend told me that it's actually easier for girls to cum when the guy has some hair there because it like adds friction on her clit. I never thought about that. Yeah. I'm quickly going through my Rolodex and thinking every time I fucked and I think I agree with that. Yeah, because you feel it.

So, hi, put that in your pipe and smoke it. smoke that shit all the way to pound town okay great so yeah guys have a little bit of hair not too much but do not be a naked mill rat all right this is a segment actually a lot of people have been asking us to do because I think it's like it's funny and it's interesting and we all are immature in this way when you talk about places you have had sex that are weird places sex in weird places baby i mean we've been meaning to talk about this i think it actually sparked because guys we were um i was on twitter and i sent sophia this video let me set the scene this is a place to have really weird sex these people are on a jet ski the boyfriend is sitting on the jet ski the girl's on top of him and she pulls her bathing suit to the side panties to the

side i think that's in every little way she pushed the panties to the side the boyfriend took off his swimsuit put it down to his knees and she's literally fucking him on top of him and the waves she's bouncing off like a wave and it jumps she's like bouncing up and down on his wee wee like she's just and so and so what he was doing is he was filming from his pov so we see his dick and her and just going up and down and the waves cry it was honestly pretty like cute like it was a beautiful little romance. Romance. Where's one place that comes to mind quickly? I mean, we all have personal stories.

Of course. The main one, I remember, because when you are in high school, you can't just be having sex in your house. Unless you had the mom from Mean Girls, which I did not have. Nope, me either. Okay? No, so you got to sneak around. You got to sneak around you gotta sneak around get creative went to a movie theater classic but we didn't go in the movie theater we were just in

the parking lot and we had sex in his car classic it was a red jeep wrangler okay so you're like honestly rich not really actually well he actually was but that's neither here nor there. Okay. So, we were having sex, and then someone knocked on the window of the Jeep. Oh, that's fucking worse. And I wanted to die, and they were like, okay, we need to call your parents. Your parents have to pick you up. So, what did you say? I had my aunt pick me up. Did your mom ever find out?

No. Brilliant. To this day. To this day, my mom has no clue, actually. Hi, Mom. So, I got caught in the car. What about you? I actually got caught in the car what about you um i actually got caught in a car too i was thinking about that in college i was driving on the highway with my boyfriend of

the time and the car broke down so we called triple a and you know what else are you gonna do to pass the time waiting for triple a because those mothers take a long time they take forever so we were in a jeep and you know how those are kind of like oh both in the jeep oh look at us oh my god um but they kind of move so i was fucking him on the side of the road on the highway on top of him and we were fucking and then triple a man the fucking triple a man comes to the window and knocks on the fucking window and obviously like we're naked i'm fucking him and he's like i'm here you want me to start like did not give a fuck and i just sat there and i was like i was okay like can you let me finish jesus christ so that was that was on the side of the road triple a i have a confession all right i just remembered another time that i had sex in a

public place and i am ashamed to tell this story and i might end up cutting this out because it's like really bad well i know it's really really really bad okay go I was in high school again shout out to my boyfriend Brock what's up little slutty gonna take that one out okay okay little slutty we went to Macy's I love I don't. Where are you going with this? We went into the dressing room. I partook in some oral sex. Sophia Franklin giving a blowjob? And we wiped his semen on one of the shirts that was in the dressing room. No! I know.

So fucking four-year-old Martha comes by to buy this glorious blouse. I feel horrible. I really do. I really, really do. I'm sorry, Macy's. That's so messed up. That was. I was young and in love and horny and it won't ever happen again.

Fuck, Sophia. I know. I actually commend you for that. I would probably do the same fucking thing. I've probably done that. You're welcome. I was now thinking about school shit. And I don't know.

So I don't know if you guys know. I went to Boston University and the hockey team there is really good. It's like D1 hockey and they usually win. And when I was there the year before, they won the national championship. And everyone knew when they won the national championship, all the guys, they broke into the rink, the ice hockey rink, and they threw a party on the ice. And guys were just fucking girls in the penalty box on the ice. And it was like a huge thing at BU.

Everyone's like, holy fuck. Wait, that's amazing. Isn't that kind of like savage? That's amazing. I really wish. I still am not. I wish I had been there that year. Wait.

Fuck. Slutty Alex. Stop that. Stop it. I had a flashback, and I am pretty sure that I hooked up at the church at our school. Okay. Because I went to private school. I'm going to have to kick you off this podcast.

Not in the pews. Not in the fucking pew. Oh, God, no. God. God forbid it was in the pews. But, like, in one of the rooms. Because, like, you know. The confessional.

You sick fuck. Is that messed up? I don't know no i support you these are okay the movie theater let's okay let's slow it down so many people hook up in a movie theater i don't get it why pay for a ticket this is the thing i think when we're younger okay everyone fucking sit here and close your eyes and think about yourself in fucking high school or even middle school all three of those things that i have mentioned were all in high school with the same boyfriend so maybe when you're younger it's just you because you're desperate to find yeah i mean yeah that's true when you're at the movie theater this is what when you're younger yeah you obviously like you said earlier you cannot fucking hook up yeah in your basement or anywhere because your parents like how you guys doing down there right and you're like mom fuck i'm just trying to get fingered and go to third so you go to the movie theater because it's like a neutral place and your parents like they cannot do anything i mean i love

how you say neutral it's not really it's a very public place so you go to the movie theater and every girl has sat there when they know it's about to happen oh my god you you sit down in the theater and the whole time i remember this you're waiting for him to put his arm around you you're waiting for him to put his hand on your leg like you're you're not even focused on the movie at all you're just sitting there trembling waiting and then after a couple you know scenes you're like where is his finger going and then slowly it's going in thigh yeah and then after a couple you know scenes you're like where is his finger going and then slowly it's going in thigh yeah and then it goes in the panties and before you fucking know it you're outside of the movie theater flipping up your fucking flip phone calling rebecca saying

guys i got fucking finger for the first your razor yeah no key a flip phone it's kind of fucked that's when you're in middle school high school i would you do that now at your age no like why fucking hook up at a movie theater i i really struggle with that because i think sometimes it's tacky yeah but then i think there are a few rare instances well also a few rare instances where it can be sexy well also can i just say i'm poor so like i'm paying almost 30 fucking dollars to be there. I'm not trying to fucking miss the movie for sex. My ex-boyfriend would hook up in the movie theater all the time,

and he would always ask me to do it, and he'd be like, my sex slave would do it with me. Sorry, back up. You just said your ex-boyfriend had a sex slave. He had a full-blown sex slave. I talked about her before. She would crawl in through the window, crawl out through the window. She told him to beat her with a hanger.

We do not fucking. We do not condone domestic violence here. I'm not. That's what she wanted. It's just facts. What do you want us to do? Anyways, he had a sex slave. Anyways, he had a sex slave.

Okay. And he said that they would go into the theater and one time there was like this really old couple sitting down, like a couple seats down from them and she just hurried and shoved her mouth full of his D and would not stop. And he said it was the hottest thing ever because it was like so naughty. You're not supposed to be doing it. I don't get it. That's not my thing.

Listen, I think that hooking up in movie theaters is kind of stupid now. Me too. This is how i don't get it that's not my thing listen i think that hooking up in movie these are just kind of stupid now this is how i don't get how are you fucking in a movie theater oh he said that every time they went to the theater they take the blanket you take a blanket with you which in itself if i saw someone taking a fucking blanket into the theater i'm like you guys are fucking you're fucking and which is top of him, she just sits on him? Just sits on his lap. And just kind of scoots around. And just wiggles around.

I feel like you'd be able to start smelling that shit. How about on the topic of sitting? I have one for you. Let me know if you've heard of this one. One of the guys I used to date told me that his ex-girlfriend before me, so already I'm triggered. I'm like, what'd she do? What'd she do?

Was it good? How was it? Did she ride it good? Was your dick big? Shut up. Was her vagina small? I know. I was like, he told me that.

I actually forced this out of him. I asked him the weirdest place he had sex, and he told me that when he was driving she fucked him while the vehicle was in motion no he was driving over a bridge she got on top of him and rode him and fucked him so like she kind of like throws her head over his shoulder so he can still see the that is a safety hazard i know but i was over there like okay let's go alex is like we got to go run errands let's get in the car i'm over here i'm like let's go watch a movie we're hurrying i'm like let me get on top of you we're driving to cvs dude that but can you imagine fucking a guy while he's driving a car i don't

like that i don't like that one bit no no stick to roadhead no right i don't like it i don't like the car is a classic moving car moving car. That's interesting. I know people do it in the park. Ooh, the park, which I think is interesting, too. I think a lot of times people also try to do it at the club. And let me confirm, because that sounds weird. I know one of my ex-boyfriends, we went to, it was either Avenue or Lavo in New York City. Disgusting.

Weird shit happens at Avenue. No shade to Avenue. No, but so we were dating, and he like a bodyguard with him at the time. Long story. But like he had a bodyguard and so he asked the bodyguard to bring us to a bathroom and he brought us to the public bathroom and he was like, fuck no, you're bringing us to the private bathroom. So there was like one private bathroom. We went to it and we fucked in there and we opened the door and there was like the longest

fucking line and people were like booing us. I'm like, whatever. I've been there before before i think actually that can be kind of hot if you're at a party and you guys go into the bathroom and a quick fuck what's not cute is the fucking porta potty when people come out doing it in a porta potty die i feel like i've seen pictures on twitter where people open it and the guy's like balls deep and a girl on the porta pot i've seen i go ahead mile Mile high club. That's actually something I want to do before I die. So if you ever see me on an airplane, let me know.

Come fuck me. But for real, I think that could be fun. Because I heard the altitude makes it better. Really? Yes. Oh, I've never heard that. Yeah. Learning something every day on Call Her Daddy.

I think if you're in economy which we are you can you fuck in the bathroom yeah and then if you're in first class though i know one of the guys i went on a date with recently he said that he was in first class with this girl and they ended up just putting a blanket over and she turned to her side they were in like the like bed situation when you're going in an international flight and he just like fucked her like from the spooning position which still I don't get it. Like when they were in those pods? Yeah. I still

still. What about when girls give the guy head on the flight? Okay and your head is like bobbing up and down when the flight attendant comes by and she's like hmm I don't understand. Where did the girl go and why? It just doesn't make sense to me. I want to rattle out. Also, Daddy Gang, let us know your techniques if you have done Mile High Club and how it works.

I want to rattle off some Daddy Gang stories. You guys wrote in and I was like, how? Yes. So these are places that you guys have had weird sex. The backseat of a car with my boyfriend while his mom was driving. How? I don't understand when people do this stuff when their parents are around. I remember my friend got so embarrassed because she got caught getting fingered on a boat.

And her parents were there. And her grandparents were there. What did they say to her? They literally texted her to not embarrass her and be like, please stop. Please stop getting finger banged, Sarah. You look like a whore. God. Disrespectful. Okay, whore god disrespectful okay sorry next one um in a display tent at the sporting goods store when i was 15 no savage no what's the sporting good sporting goods one of those tents yo that's amazing a shed during a

pool party um i lost my virginity in a closet of a church. There you go, Sophia. You're not alone. In the Statue of Liberty. No. Savage. In a booth in a Subway restaurant. What? For why? For how? For who?

For fuck? Like, whoa. For fuck's sake. Just wait until you get to the car at that point. The airplane bathroom when I was 15. Who the fuck allowed that? Whoa. That guy or girl is a savage at this point

mile high club at 15 um in a bar bathroom that's a classic ferris wheel at coachella everyone has i'm sure i have as well okay from what i remember in a hammock in a public park dick's sporting goods fitting room on a tractor literally literally in the forest on the ground with twigs and leaves up my butthole in a cemetery and in a hotel lobby. How? I don't get it. A hotel lobby? These people are willing to risk it all.

And I am here for it. There is no judgment. Wait, Daddy King, you guys are fucking savage. All right. I like that shit i love that shit sex and awkward places beautiful that was beautiful i want to bring up answering the phone during sex oh you're trying to stay on the theme of like shit that you shouldn't be doing or where you should be doing the forbiddenness of the forbidden fruit which is you know what gets a

lot of people riled up. I like it. Is knowing it's naughty and it shouldn't be done. So are you bringing this up because you did it to me last week? Or do you want me to just call you out, you fucking piece of shit? I was not even planning on talking about that. It was for two seconds. Fuck you.

Guys, I called Sophia the other week. She was with a man during the week. She was taking a break from work activities, and I was over here slaving away at the apartment working. So I called Sophia because I had a business question partner, and Sophia answers the phone. And I answered the phone completely ready to listen to your question, and I was in business mode, and I had all ears on you and all intention on you.

So the thing is, is I know you so fucking well because I've heard you having sex. So I know your sex voice. That's fucked up, but whatever. So Sophia starts on the phone completely normal and then all of a sudden towards the end of our conversation, her voice just changes a little bit. I'm like, I don't think I make you feel that way about business. Why are you giving me your sexy voice, Sophia? And she was like, Alex, that's a great idea.

Send the email. I'm like, Sophia. I knew at that very moment. Listen to me. This guy, he said that it was the biggest turn on ever that i was like in work mode he was trying to take my pants off for 20 minutes and finally when i knew that our conversation was wrapping up so strong i really did and when i knew it was wrapping up i was like fucking fine i was literally trying to swat him away like a fly i love how i just looked at sophie and i go you

stayed so strong sophie's like i really, you stayed so strong. Tophie's like, I really did. You stayed so strong, dude, and then finally towards the end. Alex, this is, I know one day I'll be on the phone with you and it'll be happening. No, listen, I fucking love it. I respect it. Okay, so. So maybe that happened. Maybe not. I don't know. Who knows? So answering the phone. This guy wrote in and he was like, guys love the

crazy. We know. And he said that he was hooking up with this girl who loved answering the phone while giving him head and she would answer the phone to everyone specifically her parents her mom with a dick in her with his dick in her mouth yo i'm like you kiss your mother with that mouth that's naughty wait wait that's really naughty oh mom i'm sorry i'm just how do you even do that you're like guard you pretend you're like garg mom i'm sorry i'm just how do you even do that you're like guard you pretend you're like gargling water right sorry i'm eating yeah you're eating

jesus christ but honestly yo and he said it was the biggest turn on he said it was such a turn on men love the crazy listen i kind of agree with it but i kind of i think it can be a little too much sometimes yeah i do it every fucking time you're answering your mom, it's like, Jesus Christ, fucking relax. Right. Like let it go once. Like don't, don't be try hard about it. And if you know it's just going to be a quick conversation, then hurry and do it.

I kind of think if you guys want to, I just had this thought, if you, a girl specifically, if you want to get really sexy with it, I think it would be hot if you're on the phone and you know, you're kind of like wrapping up the phone call and pull your guy's pants down and like start kind of licking it in between when you're talking or not. That's fucking hot. Because you know then soon you're going to hang up and then you can give him a full blown gluck gluck 9000. Yeah.

So I think in the event. In the foreplay. Oh, in the foreplay. I think that's hot. In a little bit of foreplay. I think it can be too. Because then it's, there's so much fucking tension sitting there and like having a full-blown conversation while you're getting real no no no like be somewhat respectful yes

right is that the first time we ever said that be respectful there's morals okay i have okay great great topic i like that you brought that up i want to bring up every single girl i think we all have that moment when we're going to hook up with a guy and usually usually the girl's clothes come off first yep are we getting into sex right now yes yes yes it's like we waited too long sexual i have like blue balls i'm like let's go let me release the fucking ejaculation okay okay so sometimes i talk like guys you actually i was just thinking this is a man sitting here fuck you but the hottest fucking man oh fuck yeah thank you okay so what i was saying is a lot of times the girl usually either whether he takes your

clothes off or you take your clothes off. I agree. The girl usually has her clothes off first. Okay. So I want to set the scene. It's kind of that awkward moment where you get on the bed and he's trying to take his pants off or his socks off and you're kind of just laying there like a beached whale. You're like.

Yeah. You're just kind of waiting. So I think today sofia and i want to talk to you guys we want to give girls a really good fucking go-to of what to do the hottest sex tip yeah you'll ever hear and it is it is so simple but i do not think girls are out there doing it so this is what we're gonna suggest a lot of girls feel awkward yes you know you just lay there and you don't know what to do so this is what you're going to suggest. A lot of girls feel awkward. Yes. You know? You just lay there and you don't know what to do. When you're just laying there.

So. This is what you're going to do. Here you go. Once you're naked, girls, you are going to get onto the bed or the couch or the counter or in the freezer or wherever the fuck you're fucking. Or the port-a-potty. Wherever. Or the movie theater.

Or the church. Or the pews of the church. Wherever you're fucking. Okay? You're going to lay down. You are going to spread your legs and you're gonna put them with your knees up so the bottom of feet are on the surface on the bed and what you're gonna do is you're gonna start rubbing your clit you're gonna lick your fingers you're

gonna start rubbing your clit start touching yourself yes you can start putting a finger in yeah you can start putting one finger in two fingers in yep and you're gonna start putting a finger in yeah you can start putting one finger in two fingers in yep and you're gonna start making a facial reaction when you're sliding your fingers in and out and touching yourself your other hand while you're doing this you can be rubbing and squeezing your tits and the entire time you're doing this you're making eye contact look at him and i think that you should be talking yeah start like yeah start slightly moaning while you're you're starting it and then soon when you see he's about to be like ready to go you can be like i'm so horny for you like i can't wait i can't wait for you inside come fuck me that in itself i i do

think that like there aren't a lot of girls that would do that yeah that in itself will already have his fucking dick so hard because he's like holy fuck yes this girl is a straight savage taking care of herself and if you have a sex toy laying around boom baby boom baby grab that dildo and shove it up your asshole and get it going okay all right let's talk condoms. What are those? I don't. What are those? What are those? Just kidding.

Just kidding. You guys, we practice safe sex on Call Her Daddy. Come on now. They like low-key go to the condom poker episode where we're like, fuck condoms. No. Safe sex is a thing. So. It is a thing that I've heard of that people have talked to me about that I've never witnessed.

It's like this mythical tale I've heard. So. Kidding, kidding, kidding. For those of you that are hooking up with a new person and you're trying to wrap it up, this is a quick little sex tip also to keep things hot and heavy. We're basically trying to give you guys that like awkward moment right before you start fucking your go-tos. So something you can do to spice things up is listen, every girl you're like, OK, kind

of feel like a little slutty or a little bit of a whorish vibe when he pulls out the condom and he's busy getting it ready and you're laying there. This is what the call her daddy girls are going to suggest that you do. You are going to take the condom out of his hand. You're going to either shove them down on the bed or if he's standing and you're going to throw it in the garbage and say we don't need this we don't need this raw sex is best sex no lupia no condoms here this fuck you i'm trying to be also and blow it up like a balloon tight in a knot flick it out the room and say let's go raw raw dog's the only dog i'm done you're done you're canceled

okay awesome condoms are awesome so so say if you're about to you push him down the bed or if he's standing at the edge of the bed you're gonna crawl on all fours you are going to take the condom out of his hands you are going to put it on the tip of his dick and you are going to use your mouth for a little bit of it try to go as down as far as you can to basically slide the condom down on his dick you can absolutely even use your hands if you need to if it's too hard to like slippery and you need to help yourself out and the entire time that you're using your mouth in your hands you are looking up and making eye contact with him you're putting on that dirty

slutty face and your fingers are finishing you're putting it on guys i promise you a guy is gonna look at you and be like this girl is a fucking freak and she wants my dick that fucking bad that she's like let me put this thing on so we can fuck we're making condoms sexy that's hot that is right yeah and listen obviously i know a lot of people are like yeah but like i'm gonna taste the lube in my mouth shut the fuck up grow up hair and you gotta just suck it up i've done it before and it's just like whatever come on yeah you got worse things in your mouth and if you're planning this have a little fucking like piece of something to put in your mouth right before you guys start i like that tip a lot i think it's so fucking hot

when girls take initiative and guys will fucking love it. Right. And that just makes a condom sexier. Yeah. There you go. Put condoms. On your dick. No.

I don't even know what I'm saying. Guys, put condoms on with your mouth. I can't even take you seriously when you say put condoms on. And finger yourself when he's taking his clothes off. Get your wet. Yeah. Even like changing positions and stuff. Anytime there's like a break.

Touch yourself. Touch yourself. And be touching your chin. If he has to run to the other room, if he has to answer the phone call to his parents, touch yourself. You're masturbating. Lay there and touch yourself. Yeah.

I don't care if he's in the room or out. You're getting yourself off regardless of whether he's there or not. And he should just be happy to be a part of it. Yes. Boom. Questions. Questions of the he's there or not. And he should just be happy to be a part of it. Yes. Boom. Questions. Questions of the week. Oui, oui.

I did a southern accent last week and someone said they missed my French accent. So fuck you. Bring back the French accent. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. All right. Here we go. Oh, Sophia.

Uh-oh. This one relates to something we were talking about yesterday. So I pulled this. A Daddy Gang member wrote in and they said, what is the deal with guys and their balls during sex and a blow job i have a few guys who go crazy when i fondle their balls during sex and a few who hate it oh we came up with a theory alex and i we are geniuses we are harvard grads i know Or like from the sex Harvard school, whatever, wherever that is. That's where we graduated, bitches. The theory is guys with smaller balls like a little licking, a little fondling, a little fun, a little action.

Guys with bigger balls, I swear they're just more sensitive or something and they don't enjoy it as much. It is so boom, boom, boom, boom. I don't enjoy it as much it is boom boom boom boom i don't know if this is you know dude it's crazy for sure but i think it is it's crazy because two of my exes back to back so i'm thinking of one and he had bigger like looser dangly dangly strangly balls and the other one had tighter ones and it literally plays yes the tighter ones yes he liked it looser ones didn't. I 100% agree. So guys with balls, write in.

Our theories are always right, too. I feel like we're right. I kind of feel like we're really right. I want to know, though. Okay, go. Okay. This Daddy Gang member wrote in. It was a girl.

She said, can you do a segment on outfits for a late night booty call? For some reason, it takes me forever to find something to wear and get ready. For a booty call? Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. This man, once again, you are a hole, and he doesn't care if you show up in a fucking potato sack. Literally show up with a fucking hoodie, no bra underneath, leggings, and no panties,

because you're literally getting fucked. Stuff you can easily get in and out of. You're going to get railed and act accordingly. It doesn't matter. Something easy to take off. Girl, the fact that it takes her a while to find something to wear no no no no body suits none of that bullshit you show up easy access and get down to fucking yeah okay so there's this boy that i matched with on bumble and he slowly started asking me if he could venmo me money to buy him to buy me food he would tell me that i should get more and that the price

of the food didn't matter and that i should not go to the gym he would also ask for pictures of my belly and thighs no come to find out he has a fetish for making others gain weight and watching them grow he wanted me to gain 300 pounds shut up that can i please get that guy's number i would absolutely love that yo he wants to watch others grow like a fucking plant i want to see you grow into the big girl you can be james and the giant beast dog yo what that's fucking wild she's like he wanted me to send a picture of my belly that you marry because you know you can just let yourself go after marriage pictures of her belly wow that is like really crazy i like that wow next okay oh wait while you're finding yours can i just say

someone sent in and goes you can send fun nudes by using boomerang get out of my face if you're sending a boomerang fucking nude no no nope no no so what are you you're either going into the instagram app or you're going to the boomerang app to make your nude no send a fucking video or a picture we're not fucking we're not that. This girl wrote in and she said, am I a bad person for getting mad at the guy I have a thing with for texting his ex when I just got fingered by a potential sugar daddy silver box in his car? Hell no. Some of the shit people write in.

I'm like, I want to be your friend. Please come hang out with us. I just needed to say that one. Dude, no. We've said it in a past episode. Your sugar daddy and the guy you're talking to are two different entities. Two separate entities. Absolutely.

They do not need to know about each other. Okay, Sophia, tell me if you agree with this because I never actually thought about this one. Okay. Founding fathers, we have a problem. Men are posting photos with their male friends or friend as their first photo on dating apps. And here's the thing. The second you see that group photo, you pick out the hottest one and you hope it's him.

Yeah. And then when you swipe through the other photos, it's never the hot one. And they've played themselves. These guys are losing on swiping on swipe rights because they literally are having us compare them to hotter guys. This shit is prolific help them guys brilliant every guy your first picture needs to be a solo shot of course you cannot even girls even girls for it goes for girls solo shot no filter yep you cannot give the other sex or the same sex hope no that you are someone else in that picture you know what i'm

gonna say something even more fucked up if you are gonna else in that picture you know what i'm gonna say something even more fucked up if you are gonna post group photos make sure all your friends are uglier than you boom there you go you said it and it's the goddamn fucking truth and that's the tea and that's what it is wait so is that why you post me fuck you okay this person wrote in and said i have a cheating tip slash warning i love how we get to play both sides okay the daddy gang needs to know apple tvs have a photos app where all pics on your icloud can be seen to turn that shit off go to settings accounts icloud and turn off icloud photos and shared albums she said i just realized today that all my pics were on my Apple TV with no passcode

or protection available for anyone to see who was on the Apple TV. I've had this Apple TV for five years and didn't realize this until good,

until tonight. What the fuck? Glad I found it before my boyfriend. Spread the word and keep up the good work. Glad I found it before my boyfriend.

Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your Apple TV. Okay? No! Seriously. Glad I found it before my... Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your Apple TV. Okay? No. Seriously. Glad I found it before my boyfriend knows I'm cheating.

Oh, that was a close one. Like, Jesus Christ. But... That's savage, though. Guys. That's a good tip. It is. It is. Thank you for sharing.

Uh-huh. Okay, you guys are always talking about unsolicited dick pics. Well, I've got one for you. An ex hookup Snapchatted me out of the blue the other night, and i innocently opened it thinking it would be a dog picture or something normal but to my surprise it was a video with flash on of him fucking his girlfriend from behind with the caption wish this was you wait i like actually love this so much this guy gives no fucks what do you think he told his girlfriend and she's like what are you doing like oh i'm saving it for later babe of course and meanwhile wish this was he's like he's like i want to jack off to this later meanwhile it's going to fucking

his little ex hookup how pissed that oh my god i would be so pissed. Wow. I'm speechless. That's amazing. Dude, that's fucked. I like that. I have another one. Do you have another one? Yeah. Okay, go ahead.

This person wrote in and said, what do you guys expect girls to do when they like a picture or multiple pictures on the girl's Instagram page? Like, do you guys want us to message them first and say, oh, you liked this picture from 2017? If a guy is interested, message me. Don't go liking seven of my pictures in a row and expect me to make a move. Guys need a PSA on this. I agree. So, so you're saying, so what she's saying is this guy goes and likes a bunch of her pictures, but that's it. There's no follow up with a DM or anything. No, guys, this is what you should do. First of all, if you go and like a couple of her pictures and she doesn't reciprocate and you want to try. But even after she reciprocates.

Then you absolutely slide in. Absolutely. And if she doesn't reciprocate, if you really want to try it, go for the DM. Exactly. You have to. You absolutely. Yeah. I've had that happen.

I've had that happen a lot where guys just go and like a bunch of my pictures and then I'm like, now what? Now what are you going to do? Grow some fucking balls and slide in. You initiated let's go totally totally okay the last request from my friend friends with benefit has me shook not only does he want to take my anal virginity but then he wants to give me a lady blumpkin. Literally, he asked to fuck me in the ass and then eat me out while I shit afterwards. Is this a thing? So a blumpkin is when they're on the toilet, right? When a guy, usually it's when a guy is shitting.

So he's going to be eating her out while she's going number two. While she's dropping the kids off. See, this is the thing. While she's taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. What? Who has ever said that? Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl. Dropping the kids off, I've heard.

So your mind is in places that I don't really want to go. Okay, that is wild. I could not do that. Could you do that? No, this is a thing this is what i was just thinking about pink eye oh well that too let's throw that area of the mouth true yeah so this is what i was just thinking too guys with their dicks it sticks out so a guy can be shitting and you've got his dick a girl's vagina we would low-key have to kind of like

shift forward a little and right and lean ourselves back so his face is like literally gonna be in your ass right at least when i'm making it sound like we've done it oh no i'm just at least when you've given a guy a blumpkin his dick protrudes out right that's what i'm saying so like this not that i've done it or alex has done it but i mean i would be kind of grossed out to let a guy do that i don't know i. I couldn't enjoy it. But listen, girl, if you're into it. Hey, no judgment here. It's Call Her Daddy. That's what you want to do.

Do it. If you want to take your lady blumpkin virginity, go for it. If it feels good, do it. Let us know how it goes. Yeah. Report back. That's it. That's it.

Daddy gang, we love you. We saw some daddy gang people in LA. That was really cool. That was dope. That was actually really cool I love when you guys come up to us I actually saw someone when I went home this past weekend and we hugged it out

we are going to do a daddy gang meetup we're planning it very soon if you guys don't follow us on Instagram call her daddy Instagram we have on private because sometimes we post inappropriate stuff Sophia your Instagram is public it's Sophia Franklin and mine is Alexandra Cooper. Sophia with an F and Franklin with a Y.

And mine's just Alexandra Cooper. Just trying to complicate things. So guys, follow us on Instagram. We get a little rowdy sometimes. We post some shit. Yes. Guys, we love you every fucking Wednesday, guys. I really do love you guys more than anything.

You know the drill. We're desperate. I need to relax now. I know. You're like, I fucking love the drill. You go to iTunes. You press subscribe. You're like, I fucking love the drill. You go to iTunes. You press subscribe. You press unsubscribe.

And then you press resubscribe. We do not know if this actually works and help us. We have a theory. And as I said, our theories are always right. So let's go with it. And then if you really, really love us. Which you do. And you really want to keep us in business, leave a rating and a review.

Or leave 12. But only if it's five stars. But only if it's one.. But only if it's not. It's one. Fuck you. Yeah, guys, go. Please. Oh, fuck.

So, guys, every Wednesday, I hope you guys are just going to get after it this weekend. Woo! Gluck, gluck it up. Cooch gobbler it out. Yeah. You know the drill. We need more men doing the cooch gobbler. Wear your merch to the bar.

Dude, the amount of people writing and being like, I wore the Degrade Me or the Call Her Daddy hoodie, and people are just coming up to me and making friends. I mean, shit's working. So have a great day. We miss you. We miss you, daddy gang. Love you. We love you guys.

See you next week.