Call Her Daddy - 34- Fu** Dave Portnoy

Episode Date: May 8, 2019

The girls discuss some scary things they witnessed at the bar this past weekend and are once again helping men get laid (we are giving you a makeover). They are also talking about how to use whiskey dick to fuck with a fuckboy and a jack-in-the-box nude to make a man cry. Lastly, they get into the scariest snooping hack to date which reveals ALL of your partner's password. And address girls, poop, and the lengths we will go to hide it. P.S. Doggy is out, the Pony Express is in. 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy daddy gang it's call her daddy what's up guys we're back at it again the fathers the founding fathers we've missed you it's father's day so guys so we're in a new office barstool moved offices and it's very different it's very different it's a little bit more corporate the old office was an actual shit show fraternity people like chugging vodka in the middle of the day this is the same but like there's cubicles in the old office guys we never showed up we would just show up to record. Which, in our defense, there were no desks.

There were no desks for us to ever sit at. No. So we would have to sit in the bathroom. Yes. So now we just moved offices, guys, and here's the deal. So our boss, Dave Portnoy, has been on radio multiple times within the past month saying, you know. Now that we have a new office and now that

there is room and now that they call her daddy girls have desks i expect them to come into the office every single day because how it used to be is alex and i would walk in once a week and we would walk straight into the recording studio record and leave walk straight out now we have desks and now we're expected to work at our desk with a pen and a paper like what and a laptop they expect so much from us it's just so ridiculous so anyway do they not understand we have to be out in the field going on right we have to get dick appointment in order to have this show what do they not understand people are at their desks working like you just said we're out in the field i respect the craft okay respect the craft so guys we showed up today at the office and they showed us to our desk and like every single person in this office has moved in they've

got their pictures of their family they have like their plant at their desk it's not fair because we have to sit there and be like oh my god so that so that dick you got last night, how was it? And I don't really want Bob from accounting listening in on that. Knowing what I took in my ass last week. I agree. I don't get our job. All I know is that we sit here and we talk about dick every single week. We shouldn't be expected to sit at a desk. No, we're doing charity work. All I know is that there's a paycheck that comes in every two weeks. I don't know how it comes in i don't even know what i do we're gonna get fired so let's just get into this episode here we go all right summer and people are wondering what the fuck they should wear for summer not that we should be giving any advice at all no but guys

guys you guys are so cute guys no guys are need our help. You guys are the cutest, and we're just going to quickly tell you. Because I think every guy, specifically we're going to talk more about what to wear to bars, dates, going out. Yes, but now that it's getting hot outside, and you guys are asking if you can wear fucking khaki shorts. It's cute. The fuck out of my face. Get the fuck out.

No, you guys. Knock it off. Men, here we go go summer is quickly approaching we're gonna tell you what to wear in under two minutes here we go baby you are wearing the crew neck t-shirts and i don't mean a fucking box stiff looking situation that your mom bought you from fucking gap we are just saying make sure it has a little bit of a nice flow yeah you know what i mean like have it be a little bit baggier at the bottom. Not Spongebob.

Not Spongebob. But I don't want to see obviously like the Justin Bieber dress shirt. No. Just have it be well fitted. All right. Okay. Then for bottoms, wear jeans. Wear jeans that fit you nicely.

Black or blue. Yes. And if you're from the South and you're like, oh my God, it's so hot. That's fine. We're going to allow you to wear shorts wear chino shorts yep that's what they're called you can do them in any pattern or color they better not be fucking tight as shit on your thighs no that's the worst yes or i think sweatshorts are hot too sweatshorts are so hot yes i'm pretty sure we're coming out with some. Yeah. They're so hot. You can totally do those. Totally. And I need to see your kneecaps. Oh my God.

Okay, men. What are those called? Bermudas. Bermuda shorts. Or when they wear. Okay. I said to wear jeans and then I said to wear shorts. Did I say jean shorts?

No. Nope. Knock it off. Knock it off. I did not say jean shorts. Dude, I've seen guys wear like long jean shorts. With the chain on the side? No.

No, no, no. the side no no no no but i do need to see your kneecaps okay then then shoes yes we're gonna go converse vans um and even they can wear sneakers yeah you can wear an athletic shoe absolutely i just don't want the high top jordans with the huge strap across the ankle clunking in. No, no, no. No Frankenstein shoes. No fucking loafers. Oh my God. Were you about to say that? Thank you. Thank you.

I know. Loafers look like it's my fucking dad wearing them. Flip flops. Oh, get the fuck out. Bye. And don't do the fucking construction Timberland boots with shorts. Get the fuck out of here. It's all about fit and simplicity.

Yes. As long as you have something that fits you well and isn't super dorky, you're fine. Men, it's so easy. What we saw the other night at the bar. Guys, Sophia and I went to the bar the other night and we literally took out our phones and started writing down shit because we need to tell the daddy gang. Yeah. Sophia, what is something you saw at the bar that was so appalling to you?

Oh my God. A wallet. I saw multiple guys last night pull out a wallet the size of their goddamn head. No. Yeah, I did. No. It's like they're literally straight up using two hands to whip out a wallet. And it's like as thick as a fucking phone book.

Like, you got that thick, thick. Like, no. Honestly, when I see something protruding out of the back of your pants, it's like knock it off. Knock it the fuck off. Knock it off. Guys, men need to invest in a good fucking wallet. Men, invest in a slim minimalist wallet. You can literally type that description into Amazon.

I know you want to have your fucking Jamba Juice punch card with you at all times. Knock it off. Leave it at home. You can leave it. Yeah, you don't need to bring your fucking Jamba Juice punch card with you at all times? Knock it off. You can leave it. Yeah, you don't need to bring your fucking Jamba Juice to the bar, okay? You just need your credit card, your ID, and some cash, and that's it. Speaking of cash, though, I want to just quickly say a little trick. I think that every single guy should have a $100 bill in his wallet. And listen, I know we hate the gold

diggers out here boys but i promise you some bitches are gonna see that and it could literally be the deciding factor of them to fuck you that night or not right i mean honestly i don't even consider myself a gold digger but like my subconscious would like your low-key gold yeah guys so have a hundred dollars bill. A little likey like yeah guys so have a hundred bucks in there

and get yourself a nicer fucking wallet. There's also some other stuff I saw with your own two eyes. One thing in particular you guys thought I forgot about

the finance bro. I live in goddamn New York City bitches and I did not forget about him and I did not forget about his uniform

no no no no no no no no I am well aware that Chad and Brad and their dad are wearing a button-down shirt slacks and a goddamn Patagonia vest and I'm I'm over it the fucking Patagonia vest and I'm over it. No, the fucking Patagonia vest. Just, guys, seriously. Seriously, guys. Take it off before you enter the bar. God damn. I'm really glad you brought this up, Sophia, because I was actually thinking about this. Every single guy, unless you fucking are attending a southern college and that's like what everyone wears there and you've got like a fucking trust fund and a fucking hair flip. You're not allowed to wear these out to the bars anymore.

Yeah. It's a uniform. You reek of fucking entitlement and you probably have a collection of fucking 20 koozies in your goddamn fucking room. Done. Yeah. You're cut. The reek of entitlement.

I love that one. Yeah. Please stop wearing your bodyguard and your vest. Just be careful. Careful. Caution. Girls, girls, girls, girls. Oh, girls.

Women. We didn't forget about you. Every girl's like swerving off the road. They're like terrified. They're like, don't come for us. We did not forget about you. No, no, no, no. We got to talk about.

Because we saw some stuff that girls were wearing at the bar too. A little appalling. A little shooketh to my core when I saw this bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. First and foremost, something I saw with my own two eyes. Yeah. The cheap to the knee or over the knee boots. Let me explain this because I hate this with a passion.

My blood pressure just went up. Yeah. We are talking about they're black, they suede they're baggy it's like a boot with a round toe and it honestly makes you look like you just walked off the set of pirates of the caribbean like ahoy matey it's captain jack sparrow they're pirate boot they're horrible listen ladies the goal obviously we all fucking know is Stuart Weitzman, right? But I get it. Also, those are too fucking expensive.

The reality, though, is a lot of bitches are walking around with cheap $20 fucking pirate boots from Wet Seal. Sophia. Yes. Can you agree that one of the most embarrassing things for a guy is when he can't get it up? Yes. Well, these boots can't stay up but like i'm not fucking kidding we're not calling them fucking pirate boots we're calling them whiskey dick boots these fucking boots needed by agra i'm tired of these boots because they don't stay

they don't stay up you're fucking killing me right now they are whiskey dick boots. I was walking behind this girl and she had one boot up. Nope. Nope. And the other one, it was like similar to an accordion. It was like it had it was like a slinky and slinked down. And in that moment, Alex, I like wanted to run over to her and like give her my hair. Give her baby girl and be like, here, you can use this to fucking wrap it around your thigh and like hold it up and fucking continue on with any dignity you have left.

Dude. It's so rough. You will see bitches at the bar and it's down near their ankle. It's just. Knee high boots are supposed to be at the knee. I'm sorry girls. But just pick a different shoe if you aren't going to be going and buying the Stuart Weitzman or ones that are going to stay up I'm sorry

nipple piercings saw that saw a little bit of that there is nothing wrong with them I think they're actually extremely hot no I do too absolutely I think guys love them very hot very hot yeah but you don't need to exclusively wear a tank top

to let everyone know they're pierced every goddamn night. Dude, do you know what I mean? That's actually a great fucking point. I think it's so much fucking hotter, girls, that if you have one post on your Instagram or maybe two, one or two, that is kind of insinuating like, oh, wait, shit, does she have her nips pierced? Does she not? Keep it a bit of a fucking mystery a little mystery goes a long way keep it a mystery yeah all right let's talk about whiskey dick right off the bat whiskey dickers dickily dickily listen it has to be addressed it really does any

man who has who partakes in a night of drinking any man that likes to party yep likes to rage his face off likes to dabble with sexual activity when he does whatever anyways any guy whiskey dick yeah i think it is arguably the most demoralizing and emasculating thing for a guy yeah it's like it's a missed opportunity for a fuck yeah it. It's the heart stinger, heart wrencher. It's embarrassing. It can be so embarrassing. Your penis, your wiener looks like a little gummy, like a little gummy worm. And he can't fully get hard, but he's not super, super, he's not fully soft sometimes.

Sometimes you see him grow a little. Yeah. Like he's like sprouting out of the ground. There's some movement. There's a little bit of movement. But at the end of the day movement there's a little bit of movement but at the end of the day it's a gummy worm a fucking flabby ass wrinkly ass piece of skin so so this is the thing whiskey dick is when you're too drunk to fuck yep you there is a girl and she is so hot and you want to rail her you want to fuck her brains out but your penis isn't working because

you've had too much to drink i think one of the biggest situations for a guy with whiskey dick a lot of the times is when they finally know they're gonna hook up with like a girl they've been really wanting to fuck so they start drinking they're loosening up and then they always they take it a little too far over drink they over drink and so the girl of their dreams that they know they're gonna fuck later that night probably they fuck it up because they over fucking drink and they get back and he's like candace i swear it works and she's like what is that it's not growing it's horrible it's so sad because it's like you lose maybe the one chance you had yes you know yes so guys i we want to say we feel for you i mean whiskey dick it sucks because girls even if we

can't get wet you slob some lube on there and we're good to go oh yeah but a dick if it can't work it can't work so we're gonna get into yes what to do yes, we've talked about this before, is when a guy is not hard and he won't address it and he looks at you and he's like, why aren't we fucking? And you're like, I've tried to put your slinky dick inside of my vagina and it's not working. And it's not working, Johnny. And they like look to you to like do something. That's what I think is the funniest part is when it's pretty depressing. You start making out and you're both like, Oh, maybe it's going to get there. The foreplay.

You've been making out for three and a half hours and you're finally, you're like, I think I'm going to call it a night. You're like, I can't do this. I'm giving up. I'm giving up. And you just keep pretending. And finally, finally, when you get out of that little pretending phase, he needs to address it. And that's, I think, our first step. And the thing is, is men don't try to force it if it's not happening. You can literally verbatim say, sorry, fuck, I drank too much. I think that even if it's a lie, men try to save face a little bit. And you can say, this never happens to me.

Like, fuck, like I fucked up say this never happens to me. Yes. Like fuck like I fucked up. This never happened to me. Like I'm sorry. I think it is kind of a red flag if a guy acts way too casual about it and like he doesn't even care. You're like and he's like he's like oh this happens all the time. I'm like why.

So your dick doesn't work. Yeah. And you're like your dick doesn't work or you're just a drinking bro frat bro every single weekend and you never get your dick wet. So act like you kind of care. And then legit, you start going down on her. You can say, I want to take care of you though. I want to get you off though.

This is the thing I want to address for guys that a lot of times you wouldn't think. A lot of times guys are embarrassed because their dick isn't working. You have to also understand that some girls or a lot of girls, we get self-conscious and we can't help but think sometimes, yeah, I know whiskey dick is a thing, but is there something wrong? Does he not like, is there something wrong? Do you know what I mean? Am I not hot to him?

So I think guys, if you can say like, fuck, like you're so fucking sexy. I drank too much. I'm so pissed. A girl is self-conscious. She wants to know that this is literally on you and she didn't do anything wrong. Let her know. She's so fucking hot. Yeah.

And do not just fucking roll over on the bed and be like, oh, fuck, I give up. Disgusting. Don't get off her. Finger her. Get down on her. Go down on her. Make out with her clit like until the fucking sunrise comes up and your dick is working again and let her know like i am gonna make you come

absolutely we gotta tell them point blank what our friend mike told us okay let's tell them our friend we went to la we went on a show and he was like when i know that i'm gonna go out and i'm gonna be getting fucked up he's like i will take a Viagra or a Cialis or whatever fucking boner pill you need. And he'll take that so that he will make sure that he is hard when he is ready to fuck. No matter if he had, you know, seven cocktails too many. This is the thing. Genius. Every guy.

Genius. I mean, I know we're telling people to take genie drugs that are not prescribed to them but pop that fucking thing and so that thing pops up when you get home yes this is the thing viagra cialis whatever the guys look at it because they're like the old man drug that you think it's like when your dick socks stops working when you're like 80 listen do not be embarrassed to pop that shit one they're not even going to probably know you popped it. And two, wouldn't you rather take one of those and be able to perform than you looking like a fucking loser that over drank? Wait, can you imagine if he like popped it and then he just completely gets stood up?

So his dick is just hard for the whole night. He's like running around the bar with the biggest boner ever. Please somebody suck this thing down wait i do kind of wonder how does that work like does he i wonder if our friend does he take it and then go to the bar and he's just walking around the boner no he must pop it like right when he's about to leave the club or something unless you want a bdr unless you want a bad dick review better fix the situation and then guys as we've always said the morning after if you went down on her you fucked her with your mouth you fucked her with your fingers and you didn't

end up taking a viagra and you couldn't get it up the next morning you are going to motherfucking pound town yes you were and i would address it again in the morning being like i want to make up for that and you fucking go down on her pussy you take your fucking penis and you shove it in there like you goddamn know well how to do yep and you show her what you could do to her and she missed out on last night i told you apologize then you make her breakfast the morning after can be a time where you can like save your ass. Yeah, exactly. I also have like a little side note that I was just thinking about.

If this is like a if this is like a hookup that you've been like kind of hooking up with, it's like a fuck boy situation, girls. If he gets whiskey dick, this is kind of a good time to pry on his insecurities. And I think you could make a little joke, especially maybe it's like the fourth hookup or something and you can look at it and you'd be like why isn't he working make him feel a little bad why isn't it working make him make him feel bad he's gonna be so self-conscious and then if i were you i would be like no worries get up and be like like text me later and you leave if it's a fuck boy situation oh my god look at him. You slowly look down at his little shrivelly dick. You look back up at him and you say, OK, have a great night.

Have a good night. I hope you can figure it out. And you walk the fuck out. Literally. Grab his laptop, put some porn on there and be like, I hope you figure it out. I hope you figure it out. I'm going to my next date appointment. Thank you.

The manipulation and the prying on a fuckboy's insecurities is so brilliant. He is going to call and text you the next day and beg you to hang out one more time. Because even if he doesn't like you, he needs in his mind to redeem himself because he wants that GDR. He needs that good dick review. It doesn't matter if a guy is a fuckboy or not any person with a penis and there you go and an ego they need to know that they can dick down honestly now dick down honestly now that i'm thinking about it if you're like a five or a six in the situation to whatever guy if you're five or six you almost

should hope that they get whiskey like the first night. Oh, so then get him hammered and like literally look at him and be like, why isn't he working and do the whole thing? I'm like, I'm going to let myself out. You walk out my manipulation. He's calling you and you immediately have a second date. Dude, dude, I didn't even think about that. But use this to your advantage. Oh my girls.

Get this guy wine drunk yes make him feel so insecure yeah look at his little weenie i like you like have fun with him have fun with little oscar i'm going home and i'm gonna take out my 12 inch dildo i'm gonna shut up i'm gonna go use something that works a dildo yes or another man's penis thank you good night boom so guys take care of yourself that took a turn yeah we're like helping guys out now we're telling girls how to fuck with guys but you guys again yeah you guys know what to do now let's move on let's move on to something more mature poop like poo poopity scoop scoopity. Whoopity scoopity poop. Okay. The lengths girls go to to make sure a guy doesn't know that they're going to.

Dude, every single girl knows. Females come up with the most elaborate lies to conceal their goddamn fucking bowel movements. Okay? And the lie depends on the location. So if you're on vacation, it's going to be different. If you're at his house, it's different. If you're at a party, it's different. Yes.

We live in New York. Yes. Which means we are mostly living in apartments. Yeah. Which means the bathroom is directly next to the bedroom slash kitchen slash family room slash you're pretty much going to the bathroom with him in his bed we're fucked we're literally fucked it's a whole it comes to poop yes it's a whole different ball game in an apartment so what's your go-to so honestly i think i turn the sink on and i just run the water what do you think you're doing

washing your face i don't fucking care you don't care i am very thorough with my hand washing okay i'm brushing my teeth so what i see that's the i see i'm so different so if it's an apartment building i turn into the fucking compulsive liar that i am and what i do is i make up a reason for me to have to like quickly leave the apartment wait I like what okay so you're telling me every time you need to go number two you fucking evacuate the apartment I try yeah if it's gonna be like a rocket launcher coming out I got I planned this is what I do all right let me give you an example okay say actually this happened to me once I was

hanging out with the guy I was dating we were in an apartment and we were with like all of his friends okay okay great situation having a great time and then all of a sudden I had to diarrhea all over and I was like what am I gonna do it's when you like I literally started like sweating like I was like oh my god like the shape literally hot sweating so I was like okay the bathroom is just a hall bathroom all of his friends are here there's no fucking way my ass is going in that bathroom I will go shit in the pool right before I fucking shit in this house so I'm trying to think of all these elaborate lies and I'm a compulsive liar so what I did was I looked at him and I whispered to him and I was like babe I think I might get my period tonight I'm just compulsive liar. So what I did was I looked at him and I whispered to him and I was like, babe, I think I might

get my period tonight. I'm just going to run and go get tampons really quick. And he looked at me and he was like, oh, like, OK, do you want me to come? And I'm like, fuck, no, no, it's fine. Like, I'm going to go like, shut the fuck up. Sit down, fucking jack off till I get back, bitch. And so what I ended up doing is I came up with that lie and i escort myself out of that apartment i fucking waddle my fucking prairie dog you're down you're clenching your asshole i'm prairie dogging down the fucking

streets of new york i was looking for a gas station a bodega a fucking cvs a porta potty wherever the hell someone was willing to take me and my oncoming explosion oh my god i fucking got i think it was a cvs i fucking sat my ass down went to town and then i fucking showed back up to the apartment happy as can be um that was just like a little lie i came up with to escape to get the fuck out i mean it's pretty good and go fucking crank it out we do i release the cranking you feel me another one that is like so psycho is you announce that you're going to go pee and let me explain you know goddamn well that you are about to have a fucking explosion cover the fucking toilet bowl with fucking brown town substance that you've never seen your leftover chipotle is cruising out of you you know that you're about to paint that toilet bowl brown but you say that you're gonna go pee yep and you announce it

and you announce it and this is the reason why you need to announce that it's pee so there is no doubt in his mind that it could be poo when does a girl ever say i'm gonna use the restroom oh because that insinuates there could be a number two never oh my god that's the thing you know what i mean and then when you start thinking about it like i have to go pee that's the thing is it you feel as if you need to announce what you're doing and i am a 26 year old woman and there is no reason for me to be hanging out with a guy and look him and say i need to go pee right but do i do it every single time absolutely i'm not gonna be like i have to use the restroom absolutely not you might as well say i gotta go take a shit if you say i need to

use the restroom you might as well say like i have explosive diarrhea i'll be back saying you need to use the bathroom equals i need to take a massive dump that's just what it is every girl's like i have to pee like we're so immature like i have to pee meanwhile guys are just like i have to go to the bathroom and they just disappear and they shit and they come back and they don't say anything guys don't care really and the thing is is that's not cute either it is not cute to be a grown-ass woman at a fancy dinner and be like i need to go pee pee that's not cute either dinner let's talk about dinner dinner let's talk any type of restaurant here we go here we go here we go here we go here we go

because this is the kicker this is when the announcement and the lie starts to really get a little scary it takes a life of its own every girl does this you're at dinner yep and you need to go number two yep and that pasta hits you a little rough a little early a little early the tequila and the tequila mixing wasn't the best so you go and use the restroom and you go number two and you're already freaking the fuck out because it's taking longer than usual. It's taking longer than a pee situation. So by the time you're getting back to the table, it's been an extra five to 10 minutes and that is a no, no, no, no, no, no.

And you look at him and you're like, the line was so long. The line was so long. Oh my God. It took forever to get in there. All the bathrooms were taken. I'm so sorry. It took so long. And they're like, okay, yeah, whatever.

I don't care. I didn't even notice you were gone. This is the thing. If I take a while in the bathroom, I will come back with the most elaborate made-up story oh my god babe i was just in there and these girls this girl was bawling her eyes out about this boyfriend and she was sitting with me and she was trying to talk to me about it and i was literally standing there and i'm giving this girl a therapy session in the fucking bathroom i like i't believe it. I go on and on and on when I get back to the table with this fucking fake bitch I met in the bathroom and she told me her life story.

Meanwhile, there was no one in there. As far as I'm concerned, it was like a fucking private bathroom. You didn't see one person. Not one person. And it's so crazy because we're drawing more attention to it. Yes. They don't care. He's like, I didn't even notice you were gone.

Yeah. He's like, I was having so much fun without you here actually. You're like, that's totally fine. Let me keep explaining to you what happened in the bathroom. And it was crazy because, you know, the stalls were broken. So I had to, it's like, bitch, I don't care. Right. And then if you have to go number two and fix your makeup, this story, the elaborate

story is like a Jerryerry springer heightened heightened this story goes from it was a long line and someone was crying to the fire department is involved this SWAT team came this girl hit me i was back flipping i got hit my head went into the toilet i'm just i had to blow dry my hair really quickly because it got wet and then i had to redo my makeup and then the SWAT team came in because god forbid this girl every every single toilet was broken and they had to come in and fix one and then there were all these girls trying to use the one restaurant they brought me to the back i went to a different restaurant i peed in the different restaurant then i came back then it was ready so

i just quickly went pee again because i had to pee because i had too much tequila he's like bitch what do you want for a drink i mean i don't care this is the shit it's when you when you take time to shit and do your makeup that makes the time way longer that you've been gone and therefore the lie expands there are seven full minutes that are not accounted for and they don't add up the timing is not adding up how could how could the p take 10 minutes so i've got to give him an explanation give him something he doesn't care but every single girl will be in there giving their best lie the guy didn't even notice you were gone and you come back and you're like

oh my god i am so sorry you have no idea what i mean me explain what happened. Guys. Dude, it's really fucking crazy. We condone lying on Call Her Daddy. Psychotic behavior and compulsive lying is the only way to live for your life. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel like on Call Her Daddy, we always give you guys hacks. And this one specifically, I actually tried to confirm that it works. And it fucking works. And it works. And this is a life

alert situation. You were about to save lives. We are saving lives and we're ruining relationships. We're ruining lives, but we're also saving your asses. You're a shady, shady ass. Absolutely. So I want you guys to take out a pen and a paper for this segment because it's a little intricate on how this hack works. So just stick with me. I'm going to try to explain it pretty slow. Okay. So basically this hack is to figure out someone's passwords. Okay. What the hack is, is you can see their saved passwords on google chrome specifically so the google chrome web browser and here's how you do it you need to have the person's password to their computer to see these passwords okay so if you're trying to break into your girlfriend's computer you need her

password boyfriends which you guys asking for the password to your phone that will never fucking happen but the but you casually saying hey i just need to hurry and like get on the internet for something what's the password to your computer i would give that to someone absolutely so quick easy they don't even think they don't have time don't give them time to think no so really easy so once you have the password to their computer, you're going to go to Chrome settings and under the autofill section, you click passwords. Okay. It will show a list of websites that their saved passwords are on. Okay. Facebook. Um, even if they've signed into Instagram on their computer, their emails,

anything, Netflix, any site that they've been on and needed a password for, all of the saved passwords are there. Okay. You then are going to see a little eye next to the passwords and you click the eye. And in order to show the passwords they're gonna ask for your

computer password to see it which is why you needed to figure out their computer password you type in the computer password and all of a sudden congratulations you are all of a sudden the website is gonna refresh and every single thing that was just in like the little coded you can't see the password the asterisks turned into every single one of their passwords you click on the eyeball yep you type in their computer password and all of a sudden you have their instagram password their facebook password their their email their netflix you have every password you have access to every password they've ever used ever used on any site this is and i saw alex doing this next to me and she started

screaming bloody murder because there are there are literally even some passwords for random sites that i forgot about but those are like sometimes I'll use those as a random Instagram password sometimes like you straight up have their complete arsenal of passwords yes you have the full fucking thing yes so this is dude it is once you get it you're in once you get the password to his computer or her computer you're in you have every password it's dude that is terrifying nuts everyone right now is like don't give people access to even your computer dude the computer can fuck you even more than the phone no one will ever no one will ever ever ever know the password to my laptop ever ever don't care don't care if you're fucking dying bitch i don't care if you have an essay that you saved on my laptop and if you don't get it into your professor you're gonna fail the course

you're failing bitch you're failing you're fucking failing no one's getting my password so guys that is just a revolutionary hack that we need to share and good luck and you know godspeed out there because you're all about to get fucking roasted yes i feel like there's just so many ways now to figure out passwords there are i want to like invest in some spyware shit me too like actually like set up cameras i feel like that's very on brand i want we should be setting up cameras in every single room of this guy's like apartment like have like a book and there's a secret hidden camera and you'll see them typing in their password into their phone every god damn day i'm pretty sure you'll see other things too sophia maybe i'm fucking other

girls or jacking off to another girl's fucking porno but the password the password the password okay okay nudies noodles noodles noodle picks guys we wanted to bring some more nudie nudie Passwords are the password. Okay. Okay. Nudies. Noodles. Noodles. Nudes. Noodle pics, guys. We wanted to bring some more nudie inspirations for you guys. Yes. Because, you know, we talked about nudes before, but it's never going to die. No. Nudes never die, and opportunities for nude taking never die.

Never. So, first and foremost, we wanted to talk about, a Daddy Gang member wrote in and actually gave us a really good idea. This is creative as fuck she said girls a really really hot view to take a nude is if you put your phone up if your ceiling fan is above your bed no put your phone no on one of the ceiling fan ledges and have the camera poking out so it can see the bed so it's literally an aerial it's an aerial view you do self-timer you get down on the bed and you fucking do whatever pose you want drone shot drone shot of your fucking titties and your ass and your vagina and and i guess that

she said it's like the hottest thing because guys the guy thought it was so hot put the phone on the ceiling fan and self-time that shit and get your legs spread or do fucking doggy and your ass up. Unbelievable. I mean, honestly. The links. Wait, what if you did a video in that position? Oh my God. Just like touching yourself going all the way to town.

Fucking hot. The point of view is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Someone wrote in and said that they take nudes on a polaroid oh so it's like she was taking like these super hot nudes with a camera printing them off as like a polaroid picture and then giving them to the guy oh imagine if you like just put pictures in a guy like in a book or something that the guy was reading and it just surprised him we i like this a lot yeah i think that okay so for the polaroids you could even i like the idea of

like surprising him with it you could put it in the fucking mail like mail some to him and he opens it if you guys are doing long distance the book is a great idea even i think imagine like how many times you're like returning a guy's sweatshirt or like his shirt or something and put it in the clothes and then you just text him later and you're like returning a guy's sweatshirt or like his shirt or something and put it in the clothes. And then you just text him later and you're like, I left a little present for you. Yes. That's the thing about nudes that people don't understand is like the spontaneity of the nude.

And when the guy is not expecting it is when it's the hottest. It is. Like put something in his little care package when he's going to work. Right. Put it in his fucking briefcase. When a guy is going to work and you are going to put polaroids in there or send him one via text right or right there's just something special about having a little polaroid fall out of like yeah unless like his boss comes in and he's like but still what is that still his boss is like you're the

man he's like oh yes i think that's amazing polaroids are great obviously i mean i don't know how many girls have polaroid cameras but but I'm pretty sure they're like super cheap. I think that can be a cute gift idea. Me too. Okay. This. Yeah. We're calling this the Jack in the Box nude.

This is something that Milf Hunter talked to me about the other day that I was like, holy fuck, I have to tell the Daddy Gang this story because this nude hack was really, really smart. Simple, but smart. Okay. hack was really really smart simple but smart okay so milf hunter said he received um one of his first disappearing nudes off of instagram this year he doesn't really use instagram he's way more like snapchat heavy for new and i feel like girls don't really send nudes through instagram so this came from a girl who rarely sends him nudes and he said the last thing he was expecting was to get it on instagram so this is what happened and it was one of the ones that you can only view

once so he said he was so caught off guard so basically the first picture that she sent him was a little like striptease pic where like she was wearing the shirt that she had took from him when he fucked her and she captioned it smelling you on this shirt makes me so wet and she was just like holding it up over her tits and like it was her vagina and everything it was like a nude in his shirt saying that so hot and then she sent one more in the next picture was her completely naked with nothing on and bent over in an ass shot and she captioned it like i like when you make me arch it like this when you're fucking me so deep from behind oh my god he said he was sitting in the wawa fucking parking lot speechless because he sat in his dms just staring at these pictures okay he said i had been home texting her cooper like we were texting she wasn't

saying anything and she was like oh are you leaving anytime soon and he was like yeah i have to go like run some errands soon and she was like oh okay whatever he said cooper she fucking waited for me to leave my house to be distracted to be doing something and then all of a fucking sudden she hits me with a fucking nude when she knows goddamn well no longer i'm sitting around doing nothing twiddling my thumbs i'm out and about and she fucking sends it via instagram disappearing photo he that's the thing the nude is the hottest when you send it and they least expect it yes he said i opened it and i was like oh what is it going to be a picture of like her fucking food

he quickly opened it like looked once looked twice he's like what the fuck he said i almost swerved out the fucking road i pulled into the wawa parking lot saw these and then he said the fact that she surprised me was amazing the nude disappeared forever so it made it even hotter that's why he called it the jack-in-the- box. It was like it was there and then it was gone because I know Snapchat. Obviously, girls do that all the time. But Instagram is so not the platform that girls send nudes. Right. And that's what he said. He said it was the surprise that made it so fucking hot. The casual casual conversation we were having via texting and everything. And he basically he said, listen, the adrenaline was amazing his big advice for girls was if you're constantly sending your man nudes via text message via snapchat he said if you just casually fucking

switch up the platform and just hit him with one in instagram as a disappearing nude he's gonna be like wait wait wait hold the fucking phone where did it go i want to see it again etc and when he's busy oh my god when the guy is at work or out with friends i think those are the two best times so good so good so good also the fact that it's a disappearing nude yes makes me want to do it i know because now i'm like well fuck like i could even have my face in it exactly Exactly. It's going to be gone. Exactly. And I want to be 10 times sluttier than I normally would be because it's going to be gone. Exactly. I want seven toys in every single hole and I want to send the picture.

So guys, girls, if you, if you are trying to spice it up, hit him on a platform that he doesn't usually expect you to send a nude. And that's amazing. It's a perfect opportunity. It really is. Sex. Let's talk about sex. I sex i thought we were but yeah let's get more into sex here we go that's not sex oh sweetie let's get nasty with it has to be penetration okay okay so sex there is this move that i want to bring up oh i love when sophia brings moo. And I call it the pony. The pony? The pony.

Okay. All right, bitches. Listen up. Listen up. So we've talked about doggy. Of course we have. Doggy is when the guy is fucking you from behind. You're on all fours.

You're on your knees. Your ass is up and your back is arched. Not like a cat. Nope. Not like you're fucking scared and you're about to poo your pants it's arched the opposite way like you like a dick in your vagina like you enjoy having sex okay skateboard ramp yes yes make that arch like a u but there's a different type of i guess it wouldn't be doggy but it's when a girl is laying flat on her stomach okay

she's like a board yep she's completely flat laying across the bed and the guy is like on top of her fucking her from behind but she's laying out flat love that one this is where it gets interesting okay this is the pony this is the pony. The girl is going to be on the very edge of the bed. So she's going to be laying flat out. Okay. And this side to like her left or right side, she's almost off the bed. So this is along the side of the bed. Yes.

Not the bottom, the edge bottom, or it could be. I guess it could be, but you're parallel to the side of the bed. Okay. So a girl's laying completely flat to the side of the bed okay so a girl's laying completely flat alongside one edge of the bed so like her right arm and her right leg yes are all along like could fall off like she could hang both leg and arm off exactly okay exactly so she's very close to the edge of the bed okay and her legs are going to be spread enough obviously that a penis can penetrate the vagina love that i don't know why to clarify that

i hope you guys fucking knew shove it in there okay so guys listen up this is for men this is for men oh i love a good male you get so you're gonna get the girl in this position okay and the guy is going to put one leg on the ground standing and the other one is on the mattress over her legs you are straddling her and the bent leg is placed on the other side of her body on the ground standing and the other one is on the mattress over her legs you are straddling her and the bent leg is placed on the other side of her body on the mattress straddle that hoe your dick is going in and out in between her legs oh i could have guessed that one i feel like so the reason that this sex position is so fucking good is because the guy is has his one leg standing he can thrust into this girl so much better oh so much deeper than if he was just on the bed your body is kind of like weighing her down

and you're in total control and she like can't get away which sounds which sounds scary this bitch can not escape you're a girthy woman women like that no women like that they do yes okay oh i like it and what he can be doing with his arms he can be grabbing her ass okay grab like wrapping his arm around grabbing her tits her throat whatever okay pulling her hair i love that pulling her fucking weave out love that like why do i say that it's okay don't pull her weave out okay then we have the pony express okay that was the pony okay this is the pony express guys you reach under her okay with your left hand let's say okay and you touch her clit you can do it with the tip of your middle finger,

and your right hand, you can place on the small of her back to hold her down even more. Oh, my God. So this girl, your hand and the bed, her clit is like smushed up against. Okay, so first let's go back to I want to talk about, so you're saying the arm that's going in to rub her clit. He's taking his hand. He's going in like through the belly button down area. Yeah. So that's how he's getting in.

You're wrapping around like around her torso and then you're going down. Yeah. And fucking her clit. And then your other hand. One to holster you up and two to keep her down. And then you can put it on the small of her back and hold her down. Oh, my God. I mean i mean i mean you are that actually is so fucking hot yeah i was gonna suggest the other way you can kind of stabilize yourself when you're rubbing her clit with that one hand is you can kind of put it up near her head and lean on the bed yes but the fucking part of her back i know how fucking hold that bitch down and fuck her like she knows

actually fuck her like she doesn't know she doesn't want to hit her exactly her clits being simulated it's fucking bouncing up and down on the fucking mattress she's gonna come 17 times 17 specifically yeah and then and then and then for girls you can prop yourself up on your elbows and look back at it look at him okay make some eye contact oh my god she's like literally doing like a plank yes like a plank but just don't raise your body it's just your elbows your body's flat but you're propping yourself up on your elbows a little bit i also think another really hot thing not that i haven't done this fully but what i do a lot of times in this laying position on your stomach, girls with your arms, you can also kind of stretch them out in front of you and grip the sheet.

So hot. And so one that stabilizes you so he can't be thrusting you too much forward. So your body's moving forward. And then as you're grabbing those sheets too, that's fucking hot. It's like, ow, you're hurting. You're in there. So good. Like that feels so fucking good.

Well, and I also want to add he's thrusting.usting yeah so your body's kind of moving up and down yeah and then if his hand is on your clit oh my god you're like your clit is just like rubbing up on his hand hand and then there's the mattress right there so the pressure is like that's like basically like a fucking mobile vibrator yes because the mattress and his hand what the fuck do i i'm gonna be literally telling a guy when i'm he's fucking me i'm like actually can you specifically do this take your arm put it here put it there no you're gonna be like can you ride it my pony i want you to ride it i want my pony oh the pony and the pony express dude so fucking hot what dreams are being fucking made yes good one sophia questions of the week questions of the week we view the secret blue okay questions of the

week questions so someone told us alex to check out this buzzfeed article on how people have found out that their partner was cheating i love that i'm mad i didn't even write it i love this i am upset i didn't write it either and you know cheating is a horrible thing it's also fucking hilarious so let's talk about it it's fucking amazing okay these were let me tell you my favorite one okay this woman's dog gave her quite the surprise oh she said i had been dating my live-in boyfriend for about a year one night while i was walking our dog the dog pooped out a condom i was on birth control and we had not used condoms in about six months oh when confronted my boyfriend said can we just take a second to appreciate the fact that i

was using protection okay no number one i love his answer because that's something i would say babe i was no actually alex alex we would have been like, there was a condom, it didn't count. Because there was a barrier, it wasn't cheating. What are you talking about? But the fact that this dog pooped out a condom. Where's the loyalty? Where the fuck is the loyalty from that dog? I bet you this wasn't a golden retriever.

Oh, God. Oh, hell no. It was a fucking little shih tzu. It was a little yappy dog. I know that. He talks a lot with his fucking asshole when he's shitting out that condom yeah have some loyalty to your owner who feeds your mouth be careful what type of dog you're purchasing okay it's like shit this one is definitely gonna

let everyone know i'm cheating dude no that's genius pick your dogs right so you don't get caught your dogs why i swear some people are just born to get caught and then others like you and i sweetheart we cruise women in general let's be honest yeah that's true men men you're sorry i'm so sorry sorry about that one okay give it to us okay so i was out of town last week to see a friend when i came back she lives with her boyfriend when i came back i started doing laundry and i found a sweater from Forever 21 that is not mine. I had just done all my laundry in the last month and I haven't seen that sweater anywhere. Literally no idea where it came from. I think it's very convenient that it pops up after me being out of town.

I don't want to accuse my boyfriend of cheating without having solid proof, but I have a bad feeling. What do I do? I'm going to take this back to what i said earlier in the episode okay sweetie get yourself some security cameras and do another time away from home dude that is the laundry man i mean the amount of guys that have gotten caught because it's like oh there's like a little thong that's not the girls girls know their fucking. And they know their friends clothing. So if it's not mine and if it's not yours, I know that is not my Forever 21 fucking cardigan. The laundry can fuck you. That I, if I were you girl and I would say he's being fucking shady.

I would too. There's just no other. I would hold out for a confession. You should confront him and then hold out for a confession yep you're gonna you should confront him and then hold out for the confession also i'm thinking about it and i understand why this happens because if you're a dude yep and you bring a girl over yep and you fuck her and she leaves guys don't know what underwear belongs to their girlfriend or the girl that just came over to fuck the sweater or the shirt so if they see something on the ground they're throwing it in the hamper oh my god they don't know they don't know any better stupid so men oh my god make sure there's not one article of clothing on the ground so that you can check after and fucking burn it

legit burn it yeah take the risk of burning your girlfriend's clothes rather than her finding out it was your slutty mistress every time he cheats he like throws out the girl's wardrobe. She's like, babe, why do I come home from trips and you throw shit out? Dude, that's that. Yeah. Sorry. I think he's being shady. Yeah, me too. Okay, go ahead. This girl wrote in and she said, so can we talk about whiny ass, overly dramatic dudes? Yeah, I know chicks do that shit too, but it's so much more annoying when guys do it. I started talking to this dude off of Tinder and a couple of days into talking, he won't stop whining about a cold. Like, is he really that desperate to get me to feel bad for him? Sure as shit seems like it, I'm done talking to him needless to say.

This is similar to when a guy is like, come over and cuddle. It's like guys think girls want to hear this shit no men think that them saying oh my god i'm a little helpless and i have a cold is gonna turn girls on absolutely no and they think it's gonna turn us into like the maternal motherfuckers we're expected to be by you being like i feel sick i have a cold no i'm like then deal with it and let me know when your fucking dick isn't sick and i'll be over but i don't give a fuck about your nose any i don't care about it be a man yeah be a man he's wanting the girl to be like can i come bring you soup no girl finds that attractive uber eats it i don't give a fuck go to the doctor go home for the weekend for your

mom to take care of you all i care about is your dick taking care of me and if it can't work because you're sick i will not be showing up goodbye little bitch boy dear god alex that was fucking beautiful my god get out of my face brilliant so yeah get the fuck out of here with that shit guys okay back in high school my parents bought a small hot tub for the outside of our cabin summer 2017 i invited my boyfriend at the time to come up small hot tub for the outside of our cabin. Summer 2017, I invited my boyfriend at the time to come up with my family for the weekend up at the lake. My parents are crazy about leaving me alone with him. So they were very serious about us sleeping in other rooms. While my parents went to bed, me and him decided to go in the hot tub and chill for a bit. Of course, things got heated and we started to go in the hot tub and chill for a bit of course things got heated

and we started having sex in the hot tub he was on top of me and while we were having sex i put my foot up oh and it fell into the drain my foot got stuck with the water pressure i wasn't able to get it out of the drain oh my god i kept telling him to stop so we can get my foot out before my parents came out. But he was so into it. He thought I was sex talking to him and he tried to flip me over. Oh my God. No, I'm freaking out. And fuck me from behind.

But it ended up twisting my foot and I have multiple broken bones in my foot. I was screaming from so much pain my parents came out and saw me and my boyfriend naked fucking in my fucking hot tub with me having a broken foot now thanks daddy yang dude that is i would i'm thinking about him flipping her over and her fucking ankle oh my god and how do you recover from that there's nothing you can do dude we've had stories like this in the past too when you're like stop stop stop and he's like okay she loves it she loves it the thing is like come on alex we are the queens of dirty talk yeah i have said some horrible filthy disgusting i'm pretty sure my foot was stuck i'd be like my foot is stuck

in the drain and if he's gonna think that that's some kinky shit. He's like, oh, fuck, baby. You like the drain? You want me to fill up your drain? It's like, no, my foot. If he's going to think that that is dirty talk, you saying that your foot is stuck in a drain. I think she was panicking.

And so she just kept saying, stop, stop, stop, stop. And he was like, oh, fuck. Yes. Yes. Dude, I'm so sorry for your foot and i can't even imagine you have to fuck you're naked your parents come out at least you have the water you could try to like sink into and like cover your naked yeah at least you're not just out in the open i'm so sorry to drain the hot tub with the entire fucking fire department there. I'm so sorry, daddy.

That sucks. Okay, go ahead. Okay. I'm going to address the sock thing that we talked about a couple episodes ago. It is a real thing. It is a real thing. Girls have better orgasms when they have socks on. Yeah, they do.

Okay. In fact, this daddy gang member wrote in in she said the sock thing is real i'm always cold so when i don't wear socks the blood's rushing to my feet oh the idea is with socks is now you're warm so it allows more blood flow to your clit vagina so you have a better orgasm it also helps people with a safety thing allowing them to be more comfortable and therefore you're not in your head anymore so you can come so it's like a comforting thing this is amazing the blood flow and the comforting thing why i'm taking a daddy members thing as if she's a doctor i don't know she's a doctor we're gonna pretend she is. Yes. Fucking clinical 101.

Open this bitch. Dr. Simmons Lee. I just said her name, but I didn't say the first name. Thank you, Simmons Lee. I believe it, though. Dude, we talked about this. I mean, this is the one thing that people I think were like, guys, how did you not know this?

Yeah. I've had great sex when I wear my fuzzy socks. I didn't know it was because of that. That's the one thing we didn't know. Girls, put socks on. Put socks on. Yes. I wonder if you like double layer up in that shit.

What then happened? I'm going to try it. A daddy gang member wrote in and said, hi, love the show. Okay, down to business. Okay. Okay. Okay. I heard Sophia's story about her crazy boyfriend snatching her phone and it brought back a

disturbing memory that I've been unconsciously pushing down and trying to forget. A couple of years ago, I was talking to this guy and we started dating. One night we got box wine drunk. Never a good idea. And he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. Okay. Just one box of wine and you're wiping yourself up all right however the boxed wine and no substantial meal that day caught up

with me and i passed out in his bathroom vomiting he called my friend and asked her what to do and she advised him to use my thumbprint to unlock my phone to get my mom's number. Well, he used my thumbprint, called my mom, then continued to go through my Instagram and Twitter DMs where boys were drooling all over me.

Okay, girlfriend. And I responded because from my point of view, I wanted to. He woke me up to tell me my mom was there and broke up with me hold on we were official for an hour and a half now i'm dating his roommate lots of layers but the only thing that matters here is the fucking friend the fact that this guy called her friend and the friend's advice was to unlock her phone i don't mean to be a bitch

you're no friend but alex if you were about to be hospitalized okay okay and this guy called me and was like i need to get into alex's phone to call her mother i would say throw the phone in the garbage i'll come pick her up there's no way in hell no i am going to give the guy the idea to use your thumb let alone imagine if he needed your actual passcode oh my no the the fact that this friend allowed this man to get into her best friend's phone that is code 101 if a guy asked me i would say go to a pay phone go to the neighbor's phone go to anyone else's phone and fucking figure out a number to call i am not giving you her fucking password under any it doesn't matter i would if i was in the middle of the sexiest hookup of my entire life and this guy called me to say that you were passed out in the bathroom when he was trying

to get into your phone i would literally tell my hookup like it's either i go pick up this bitch or this guy is gonna have to get access to her phone so i cannot risk that so i'm gonna go pick up this drunk bitch dude it's true you never let a guy into your fucking phone are there any circumstances ever that you would give the guy the idea to use my thumbprint to open the phone because i can't think of one i cannot think of one dude this no call an ambulance i was gonna say call call 9-1-1 call call 9-1-1 before you call my why do you need my parents if i'm that fucked up get me to a fucking hospital okay if it was if it no never down to me having to get you an ambulance and you going to the hospital and spending like 16 000 that's what's gonna happen and i'll get a

sugar daddy the next week and get that 10k and pay off my bill no fucking way are you no no you don't give it away and then what was the laughing she's out maybe maybe alex people aren't as shady as us so it's funny we're like god forbid they get the phone god forbid we're like shaking over here thinking about it yeah no and now you're dating his best friends the roommate i don't get it i mean crazy crazy but that is the worst when you end up so fucked up and you're in the bathroom and you're trying to hide from them that you're puking that friendship better over okay i have one okay i have a wild ass story for you guys okay so i was sexting with this guy and we were snapping and he was getting pretty kinky and he asked me

to dead ass take a video of me drinking my own pee and I shit you not he wanted a video of me peeing into the cup and then a video of me drinking it so what I did is I got apple juice from the fridge warmed it up and sent a video of me drinking warm apple juice and to this day he thinks it was pee hold on brilliant but wait why did she warm it up because he can't tell if it's warm or cold maybe because she wanted the reaction to be like more okay like real authentic because i would be like chugging the apple juice like that's good he's like this girl's like this girl's been here before this girl's had a golden shower before that is pretty fucking brilliant i think it is brilliant um i look a little dehydrated ho personally would not want a video like that of me ever out there yeah yeah i

feel that i feel like we're just a little paranoid though because people are trying to find our shit that's true i totally respect you for that. If you, cause that's brilliant. That's really, really apple juice. If you find any guys that have the pee fetish, cause I feel like there are a lot of guys that do apple juice is the way to fucking that. Oh baby. That's smart.

The daddy gang is so brilliant. You guys are so smart. Fucking here for it. Yes. Do you have any more? All right. Sheesh. Here I go.

Okay. daddies. I'm currently a part of a five-year on-and-off relationship with a three-time convicted felon. That sounds worse than it is, is what she said. It does. Sounds pretty bad, girlfriend. But coming from a felon right here, I should shut my mouth. Anyways, we met in college and dated up until july 2017 it was not a good healthy relationship but memories were made but after a year break and

dating other people we decided to give it chance number a thousand after five months of dating again he was arrested again and has been in jail for the past eight months that'll get you we have only seen each other once during several guys have been coming up to me and asking if i need someone to help me with needs during this difficult time and i have declined but a very persistent older man told me last night that it's not cheating if he decided to leave me out here alone because he's in jail again. My question to you is, if your boyfriend is in jail for a potential two to five years, is it cheating if you get your needs met while him still being in there? While you're trying to support him.

You know. So, all right. I guess if you're dating a convicted felon and he's going to be in prison for two to five years. I would say go get your vagina wet. You know, I got to agree. I'm sorry. You know, especially that you're not married. You don't have children together.

You're you should. You know, there's just something about being locked up that, you know, you're not going to be getting it anytime soon. You can't even sex him well i can't even phone sex him you got nothing coming in for you so you might as well unless he is in jail because he had to cover your ass and you're the felon loyalty and you like really owe him some shit yeah but if he's just out here being a fucking criminal and you're lit two to five years of no sex sweetheart i mean god you are dedicated but i would be going to fucking pound town that weekend that he got in it's not cheating so no it's not cheating go get

fucked god it's your your duty if they're behind bars it's not cheating go get yours today okay guys that's it for today oh daddy gang we love you guys we are excited for the weekend hope you guys are gonna try out the pony express yeah the pony and the pony express you guys don't underestimate The power of it It's so good And then everyone Is hacking Every single password

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