Call Her Daddy - 36- Sex Sins & Girls DMing First
Episode Date: May 22, 2019Alex and Sofia are talking datings apps and sliding into the DMs, specifically for girls who are not shooting their shot and absolutely need to be. They are also talking sex ‘sins,' where they cover... the basics like foreplay, screaming and scratching but also include some you haven't thought of and are probably committing. You don't deserve to f*** if you are doing these!! Finally, the girls lose their shit while trying to explain the newest most underrated sex position. Not for the easily offended. P.S. girls need to stop crying about getting hit on. Knock. it. off.Â
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do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy
it's call her daddy oh my god it's another wednesday we're the founders the fathers guys
we're so excited i'm amped I'm humpty pumpty right now.
I'm a little tingling in my vagina.
Okay.
Your boobs look great today.
Thank you.
Yours are like exploding out of your tank top.
They're literally hitting me in my face right now.
We need to bring back the baby.
Half the people just turned this off.
So Sophia and I are going and we're looking at new apartments because
you know we're moving soon thank god our apartment r.i.p i'm gonna miss that fucking no you're not
that amazing piece that actual piece of trash every time i've had a guy over which is very
rare he's like oh wait why are we in your closet? I'm like, shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. It's so embarrassing.
Yeah, it's my bedroom.
Fully furnished from the trash.
Yep.
No exaggeration.
So we're moving.
And our first place that we went to see in the city that we set up to go look at.
Yeah.
Open house.
And this guy opens the door.
We go through.
It was a big ass apartment.
And then we find out that there's this thing.
It's called like a co-op board.
So for the co-op board, because I think they need to know a little bit like it is an extremely rigorous process yes that
you have to go through to be accepted to like live in the apartment because there's like a group of
people that all have a say on the apartment and own it yes yes so he looks at us and he was like
so uh are you two would you two be okay with saying you're together and sophie and i are looking at
each other like we're like we're like not again we're like here we go oh my god they're like
because you know it would be easier for the co-op board if we passed you guys as partners right as
opposed to friends as lesbian lovers yes yes there you go okay and sophie and i looked at each other
and you know normal people be like oh i don't know sophie and i were like oh of course i'm like literally going through my head and i'm like
okay so alex just posted a picture of me on a bed with her with a nip slip like i think we can
totally pull this off oh we're like oh we are so good we would sleep in the same bed like totally
fine and this man is looking at us right honestly i don't know if he was joking or not but he was
in shock no i don't i don't okay
i don't think he was joking and i think that if there's anyone on this earth that could pull it
off it's you and me yeah yeah so we ended up saying okay well then we may go the lesbian lover
route but i'll let you know but that could be like a really great way to get you guys into this nice
place yeah and so just you know tbt on that daddy gang we'll keep you updated and we'll tell you the
whole process we're gonna have to go in there with like a scrapbook of all of our moments together. Our tender
moments. We definitely have some. Yeah. So I'm excited. OK, let's get into this. All
right. This is a beautiful thing because everybody has Instagram. Everybody's trying to slide
into DMs. We've talked about a little bit before, but today we're going to get even
more into it for guys and girls. Yes. Sliding into the DMs, but also dating apps and sliding in there.
Yes.
Let's first establish that naturally the DMs, they can be a little creepy.
When sliding in is a little creepy.
So if you're a man and you're sliding into the DMs, don't be creepy.
Don't be creepy it's don't be creepy i think when we say creepy like a guy sliding in with
anything sexual oh is a no-go get the fuck out of here you already just the fact that you're
sliding in you're coming off as a predator that's trying to fucking kill yes let's get these are
let's talk about the don't so i agree never sexual no I, the amount of DMs I get that are sexual, like a guy wrote me the other day
and he was like, I want to be the STD for you.
What?
He said.
Wait, what?
Are you joking?
No.
But do you get it?
He's like, you need a stud in your life.
Let me be the STD for you.
And the letter U.
Oh, at first I was just so confused.
Whoa.
Whoa. Whoa. That's a perfect example of what not to do nope let's not talk about stds even if it's a joke on the first go around let's
maybe leave that never be fucking sexual you creepy motherfuckers yeah don't say anything
about her looks okay agreed one thousand percent like when a guy is like um you are so gorgeous like let's hang out
i know women hate that i and you know what i hate even more than that is when a guy almost tries to
downplay it so he'll say something like hey uh you're kind of cute oh my god hey you're kind
of cute smiley face oh that may be the worst and then i'm like
kind of cute if you're sliding in here you better be like you're fucking hot as shit and even then
i'm not gonna respond you look like fucking angelina jolie yeah i don't want any half cute
no don't talk about the way a girl looks i don't like no yeah guys nothing talking about her look
yeah at all unless she's a fucking two and she needs to hear it she's a little hype up then
maybe it works true i think um any type of i get all the time emojis the waving of the hand the
hard eyes how lazy are you what do you want me to say how lazy are you i'm gonna send back the poop
emoji right i'm gonna shit all over you because this is the worst dm i've ever gotten what are
you doing you like that okay i know i really do. But you know what I mean? Guys, no emoji.
Like, is it too hard to type out words?
The only time you can be lazy as fuck and still you shouldn't be that lazy.
I have to say, and everyone's going to hate me for saying it.
But like, guys, if you have a blue checkmark, bitches hearts will be like, oh, he's something.
And you can just literally put high.
And they're like, I'm already wet.
Let's go. Let's go. I i mean there's a social class system and if you have a blue check mark you can pretty much roll
in there and be like i want to i want to rearrange your insides let's go and girls will probably be
like okay she's like okay just send me the address dude it's so fucking true it is true so let's tell
them the do's or do you have any more don'ts
why don't you read some of your dms let me look let me read some of the ones that fucking piss
me the fuck off okay well my mom told me to stop swearing so much but the frick off okay this guy
wrote me hey so what are you reading right now sophia what are you reading right now, Sophia? What are you reading right now, Sophia? Number one, I already feel
guilty every single day when I wake up and I look at my nightstand and I have like a half-read book
that I started in 2016. But you'd rather tune into Instagram? Yes. So I already feel bad. Like,
do not bring that up. And I don't know how to read. Wait i reading i'm reading dr seuss i'm reading dr seuss no but
actually that fact that that's his first question on a dating app hey what are you reading sophia
fuck that fuck off what when you ask a question it reflects on you so when he's saying what are
you reading right now because you want to tell me what you're reading you might he might as well
have said hey i'm an intellectual oh yeah go blow yourself fuck off well i'm not
yeah and i'm not okay i'm here to suck dick and clearly you want me to read books with you so i'm
out next another one hello with a balloon emoji the fuck out of my face that's it the fuck out
of my face okay hi there smiley face knock it off that's that's what you just said hi there hi there that's another huge
don't yeah you you gotta give an emoji and you can't just do super simple like hey what's up
hey how are you what's going on hi yeah none of that shit is gonna work and this is this sucks
but unless you're like the hottest guy you're so hot you can come out with just the generic ass
like hey but if you're not the fucking brad pitt of virginia or wherever the fuck you're so hot you can come out with just the generic ass like hey but if you're not
the fucking brad pitt of virginia or wherever the fuck you're sliding in then get the fuck out yeah
the the hotter the guy i can't believe the guy sent you a high with a balloon i know the hotter
the guy or like the more clout a guy has the lamer his pickup line can be so that's just how it is i
agree and we're just gonna give it to you straight. The last one, this guy wrote, went to Salt Lake City for the first time. That's where I'm from.
It was so clean and beautiful. I don't want to talk about the landscape. I don't want to make
small talk. I don't like that shit. No, sir, sir. You are so off. No sofia is not gonna be like i know right did you see those trees
they're blossoming this like no or when guys are like hey like nice to nice to connect on here oh
just no not nice no no so let's tell them what they can do okay please okay so these are the
kens here we go yeah i this is gonna be a little different okay but men i want you to listen up
because i really love when a guy addresses that he's like stalking me on social media and i know
that sounds really weird so let me explain i had a guy slide in on raya and he was like hey how are
you lol at your last ig caption you're funny i like that and i like that he said like lol at your
latest ig caption because this is a thing with millennials everyone is trying to believe like
oh i didn't stalk you like oh my god wait where oh you have a sister like oh i didn't know her
oh you play sports i had no idea shut up everyone's fucking stalking so i kind of like when
they address it and that shows so much confidence right because they're like i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck i like come off as like so i think guys that is a
huge one i think is so underrated say you were like stalking their whatever and yeah and make
a funny comment i like um i have another guy that slid into my dms i really like this so my um this
was on a dating app sorry my um profile picture is me in like a one piece bikini.
That's your profile picture is a swimsuit picture.
Wait, that's so ho.
I guess because I don't go on that much.
Yo, wait, I'm like so slutty.
Straight to the point.
Is it just an ass shot?
No, no, no.
It's a one piece.
I'm like sitting on a chair.
Thank God it's a one piece.
Okay, so fuck you.
So anyways, he slid in and he was like, this might be a little odd, but I actually have the same red one piece okay so fuck you so anyways he um he slid in and he was like this might be a
little odd but i actually have the same red one piece mine doesn't fit anymore if you need a
backup i've got you and then he put like the hands up emoji okay i love someone that can be funny
with it we've said this before yep funny and that's gonna work for both girls and guys and
we'll get into girls in a second but funny funny is what I fall for every single time.
And he was like kind of macho.
So to him make like a swimsuit.
Oh, I have your swimsuit too.
It was he was being like self-deprecating in a way to which I like.
Yeah.
You got to like ramp up the funny factor.
You do.
I had a guy message me and you have to have a song on Raya, which is so annoying.
Oh, trust me.
My girl's got to have fun when I had it.
Well, mine's not any better.
I had Lauren, our roommate, picked my song because I had no idea what to pick.
And she picked some like cool song.
Alex, your song is supposed to be a reflection of you.
Yeah, I know.
And I'm a fake bitch.
So that's why she picked it because I'm fake and nothing about me is real.
So my song's not real.
And so it was like Big Wild.
It's like a cool song by Big Wild. I still don't know who they are to this day so this guy messaged me on raya and he was
like fifth date me you big wild april 5th first date to be determined let's do this and i was
like i'm wet how good is that i'm wet so by association to you yes we're both amazing yeah
both fucking him.
Yeah.
Later tonight.
We have a date.
Absolutely.
I can't believe it.
Does he know it's a double date?
He's literally getting a triple.
No, just a three way date is what I should say.
So the point, guys, that was huge where I was like, this is so good.
Yeah.
And he's bringing up a date that sounds like a lot of fun.
Right.
Right.
Right. Right. Right. I had a guy on this dating app say, when are you free for the best first day of your life?
Which it's a little bit cheesy, but I like it.
I think I like it.
It's it.
That in itself sets him apart from the 100 guys.
Wow.
I sound like I'm so 100.
I sound like I'm so full of myself i'm sorry guys i apologize
but you know any fucking girl with a vagina has like 100 guys in there yeah it sets him apart
because i would say 90 of guys are putting the emoji or the hey what's up 100 hey beautiful
hey what's going on like those automatically go to the graveyard to die. No, I actually, I really like that one.
Yeah.
Guys, listen, like we said, it's all about being either funny, clever, finding something
that relates to her.
No guy anymore is allowed to be sending the DMs where it's like, oh, don't mind me.
I'm just moving in here.
And you start putting like furniture pieces.
You do realize that every single day
we're getting that exact same dm everyone's moving their furniture into every girl's dms and then the
other one is like oh sorry the dog the dog oh my god or the ball the ball I kicked my ball in here
I'm sorry I kicked my ball in here just coming or the dog is chasing the ball it was funny the first
seven times I saw it and I'm like leave me me alone. Yes. Unless you got the check mark guys.
Get the fuck out of here.
You better get funny.
You better get funny.
You better get Dave Chappelle level funny.
If you're a fucking one and a half out of 10.
Whip it out.
All I have to say.
Whip it out.
And I don't mean your dick unless it's like 12 inches and honestly go for it.
Okay.
Let's talk about girls now.
Girls.
Girl.
Okay.
Girl.
The don'ts.
Well,
let's just address first of all,
I hate to say it and people don'ts. Well, let's just address first of all.
I hate to say it and people don't get pissed at me for saying it, but this is just the goddamn fucking truth.
And that's all we speak on Call Her Daddy.
Do you know what I mean?
Absolutely.
There's a difference.
We're not sugarcoating shit.
When you're sliding in to try to get a guy.
Yeah.
There is a difference if you are a hot girl or you're an average slash less attractive
girl.
This is similar.
It's the truth. To the checkmark. mark yes that a guy can have hot girls if you're extremely hot you really don't have to do that
much yeah it is all but it's all relative so like when we say hot if you're hot but you're
fucking sliding into leonardo dicaprio's dms yeah you got to put a little bit more effort in but if
you're that the same girl but at college and you're trying to slide into the frat boys DM.
Yeah.
Fuck no.
You can literally say hi.
Right.
Send a fucking period.
If you're a 10 out of 10, you can hit them with like a fucking emoji.
Literally.
And a hey.
Like a heart eye emoji.
And they're going to be like, great.
Great.
That's just how the world works.
Kendall Jenner is going to use a different approach than fucking Rosie O'Donnell.
Rosie O'Donnell.
That was a good one okay so if you're average slash not as
attractive this is my advice because i've been there where i'm like a fucking five to this guy
and i'm like goddamn how do i get in what you need to focus on is if you're not that hot and also if
your profile isn't turned up like oh yeah some girls aren't as attractive some girls are so hot
but their instagram profiles are shit you got to show up in the dms ladies the dms for an average girl
is where you can separate yourselves and thrives i want to also remind everyone listen the fuck up
we live in an era where girls do not shoot their fucking shot at all rarely ever so you really have
to do so little to stand out it's easy just it literally
takes a little bit of internet courage um milf hunter even said he was like men get so excited
so easily with our little fragile egos he said he loves when girls slide in alex i am so happy
you're bringing this up because i am your basic girl. We're like, I never.
Oh, yeah.
I'm knocking on the door.
Hi.
Yeah.
Now I call her daddy.
I'm like, no, I'm going to.
Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to talk.
I want to talk to him.
I'm sliding in.
Right.
So let's talk about.
OK, girls, I think a girl can go in there and say like, hey, I think like you're hot.
Yeah, I totally think like that would work.
I agree.
That strokes a guy's ego and it doesn't
come off as creepy however but this is what i want to say if you're gonna come at them with
something sexual they're probably gonna respond and they're probably gonna be into it but you
are setting the tone for how that relationship is gonna be i agree you know i think you're if
you're saying like oh my god like if you just whatever you're
so fucking hot like first date like your bed or something yeah like your place or something like
that like yeah that's fine and he's probably gonna bite but of course that's the thing girls
totally like you said if a guy did that I'd be like you're so fucking creepy if a girl does that
the guy's obviously gonna be down and probably want to fuck you it depends what you're in the
mood for if you're just trying to fuck this guy yeah go for it yeah slide in and be a little slutty yeah
send a nude as your first time my god since most of us are not 10 out of 10s right um we do need
to put in a little effort we do so what are the do's let's talk about it so i was thinking about
this and this is like a very specific one but I'm just I'm using it as an example.
So say you're going in and you're trying to slide into this guy's profile that plays like college sports, college hockey, let's say.
OK, and I think it's funny if you play sports, you could also slide in and DM him and say something like we wouldn't have to pay for our kids college like guaranteed d1 babies and i think
that's funny but you would probably follow it up with something like haha hey like what's up or
something casual guys that play sports yeah and let me just emphasize this is not two professional
athletes do not fucking send anything with the word babies to a professional athlete he's fucking
sprinting the other direction but guys that are in like you'll get blocked literally blocked but guys that are in high school and college that can
be really fucking funny i think the back and forth witty banter is something that guys can really get
off on so um milf hunter said i had a girl dm me and she was like you're so handsome anyway can i
be your sixth girlfriend this summer like joking that he he's a man. Oh, I like that.
That's funny.
And then he said he followed it back up with, and he was like, LOL, listen, I know you're
super busy entertaining 20 guys, so just give me your secretary's info.
Maybe they can pencil me in for something in July of 2020.
And he basically said we were going back and forth, basically joking about who had more
hoes.
And it was like a fun, witty banter.
He was like, I love a banter he was like i love a
girl that can hang yeah um this also works this is also something i think is really good girls
make him think for a minute you're trying to friend zone him so let me give you an example
this happened to milf hundred the other day um they were they finally were talking so she slid
and they started talking like and right kind of away okay she hit him with
like i'm not gonna lie i wasn't expecting us to get along this well and then she was like we're
like besties and he was for a minute he was like cooper i was panicking that this bitch was trying
to friend zone me and then right when he wait right when she had him where she wanted him
she hit him with an lol and sent the margot robbie gif of her sexually saying wolf of
wall street and she's saying we're not gonna be friends and it's a gift she looks so hot iconic
mill hunter said cooper it made me so happy that gif is so sexual she's so hot every fucking guy
loves that woman and she was like playing with my emotions and it was hot
so girls i think gifts can be cool too yeah wait i think that's so fucking brilliant yeah it's again
it's all about they're being funny yes okay that's like that's what we're trying to say is like
they're being funny or dm them um something that it's obvious they care about yes like if they're
constantly posting about their dog which fucking
then don't dm him because that's so annoying but if if he posts a shit ton about his dog be like
oh my god what kind of dog is that blah blah if he's posting something about how he a hobby of
his ask him about it right and girls start shooting your shot motherfuckers in sex you know
we always talk about crazy nasty fun amazing things to do during sex but there are
some things that we want to label as sex sins if you're doing these in the bedroom you don't
deserve to fuck knock it the fuck off you're getting blocked midway through fucking i'm taking
my phone and blocking you and kicking you out. This is including some shit that Alex and I talked about.
And then a bunch of like reoccurring themes of what people were writing in about what
they hate.
This has to do with things guys are doing and girls.
This is both sexes.
And everyone, everyone listen up.
Because if you're doing this, the person is leaving that sexcapade and being like, I hated
that.
And no one wants a bad dick review, a BDR.
No one wants a fucking BDR.
Keep in mind, yeah, if you hear something, you're like, oh, do I do that?
Clean it the fuck up.
And girls, you want to leave there and this guy be like, the fucking voodoo clam.
The fucking voodoo.
We all want the same thing.
So let's get into it.
I'm sorry, but for me, this is number one.
All right.
This is the sounds and volume level for both guys and girls let's get
into it and i think this may have been the most common thing oh my god girls were writing and
complaining when guys are completely silent oh my god when they're mute mute just grunt even
that's the thing that's the thing is if you're not comfortable dirty talk because i know some
people aren't we still need to hear here a moan or a grunt come out of your mouth i need i need to know that your heart is
beating and there's blood of course with your veins and there's like circulation and like you're
there you're alive you're there with me you're here and you're not just there in spirit right
and you're not upset to be there right you know you're not crying inside like you are enjoying it you're enjoying yourself
just give me a little something guys men if you are fucking completely silent i promise you even
if you're giving her that good dick if you start talking your sex will be 10 times better to her
even fuck babe we've said it in the past just saying fuck means you're enjoying yourself when
i hear a guy say fuck i'm like like, woo! I love that shit.
Okay.
But now on the girls' end.
On the girls' end.
The daddy gang men were writing in
and they were completely agreeing with me.
So we got to address it.
We're not filming a porn.
Nope.
Okay.
Nope.
We're not in fucking California
in the valley filming pornos.
Nope.
Okay?
A girl should not be screaming bloody murder.
Dude! It shouldn't be like
i'm sorry for anyone with headphones but this is this is what i want you girls
noises are so natural and we want you to be vocal in bed however think of this the way some of these
bitches are moaning like we've said it in the past he fucking swirls his tip around and hasn't
even stuck it in yet and this bitch is on a roller coaster ride screaming her fucking face off especially i understand if you're gonna
get a little bit louder when you're about to come yep when he sticks the tip in and you're freaking
the fuck out stop you look so authentic you look like you're faking the whole thing and it's annoying
you mean unauthentic i'm sorry whoa sorry un unauthentic it looks like if i were a guy and i was fucking a girl and she was just like
i would be so annoyed i would slam her head into the pillow knock her the fuck out i would sorry
no but i just have to say last thing about that is girls i want you to try to think of yourself
like when you're masturbating in the comfort of
your own when you're masturbating are you screaming are you screaming in your bedroom by yourself
when you have your vibrator nope you're not screaming like that are you no no could you
keep silent if you were fucking in a library yeah you could be kind of silent do you want this guy
to think you're a liability not No. Knock that bitch out.
He literally, he doesn't want to fuck you because he doesn't know what's going to come
out of your mouth.
Nope.
Okay.
Hyenas.
Next thing.
Girls that are all talk.
Ladies, we have had so many guys complaining that these girls are nasty.
They're talking nasty, oversexed.
They're sending pictures, et cetera.
And Milt Hunter actually said he had a girl recently that was like, I'm going to last
so fucking long.
No, she showed up.
Oh my God.
Can you imagine?
Get the fuck out.
No, but he was like, she was talking so nasty and how she's going to last along.
We're going to go 12 rounds.
He was like, Cooper, I'm in round one, maybe 20 minutes in.
And this bitch asked for a break.
She said, I need a minute.
I can't keep getting pounded. I need a breath. Bitch, what do you mean? bitch asked for a break she said i need a minute i can't keep getting pounded i need a breath she bitch what do you mean she asked for a break a break oh i can't
believe that i don't think i've unless you get like a cramp or some shit no unless you're going
like two or three hours but girls the point is is don't be all bark and no bite it's one thing if
you're coming off and you're like this cute girl and he doesn't know if he's gonna slam when you
come by but if you're a nasty ass hoe talking shit and then you show up and you can't even turn out on his dick, get the fuck out of here.
Also on top of that, I just want to talk about girls that are talking nasty over sexting specifically with blowjobs.
If you're going in on that shit being like, I want you to fuck my throat.
I don't have a gag reflex.
I'll look up.
I'll look up at you with my eyes watering and then you show up and you can barely take fucking half of it
you're like licking just the tip and you're like and he's like bitch my shit is not even it's not
an enormous thing like what are you doing so you girls just got to be careful yeah because guys
are like yo what the fuck i was expecting a fucking porn star all bark no bite yep um when guys say do you like that oh that's a good one we just told men that
they need to speak up i do not like when a guy is fucking me and he's going you like that oh yeah
you like that fuck yeah you like that oh my god i'm like i don't
you fucking like if you didn't bring it up maybe i would i'm like it's doesn't kind of sound creepy
you fucking like that and it's also reflects on him i'm like who do who the fuck do you think you
are yeah no i don't like it right no it's shit no i the guy's fucking you from behind and your
head is being slammed into the headboard and he's like you like
that like that like i'm like no i want to go home if you if you want to say something and ask her if
she's liking it i think you should just be subtle and like if a guy's like touching my clit or
fucking me and he just says like that feels really good doesn't it like yeah something like that or
even asking like does that feel good yeah boom well i kind of like when they're a little more certain they're like that
feels good doesn't it and you're like fuck you and i'm like yes but then you like that bye bye
it's like your name's your name's chad your name's kyle and you had seven monster energy
drinks in your fridge and that's that's what it is okay it was spiky hair and frosty tips and
fucking puka shell necklace
and a lot of girls run insane that they agree to that yeah guys the whole you like that thing
get the fuck out of here this is gonna sound weird from call her daddy but let me explain
guys being too aggressive i love a man that takes charge throws me up against a wall knocks me
yow i wake up. We're still fucking.
No.
But what I mean being too aggressive is like, have you ever had a guy when you're having
sex and he's just like moving you around and he's thrusting and he's just going through
the motions and it's as if you're just literally you're just a hole.
But he doesn't even like make eye contact.
He doesn't go like you're he's just like he's like
a machine yes yes and you're like hello i'm over here what's also included in that is when they
just switch positions every five seconds yes you're on top you're on the bottom yes you're
on your side you're upside down here we go pounding yeah i'm pounding and grunting and
you're like you haven't even like located the clip. You're just fucking going to pound town. Guys, that is not good.
Like, are you fucking me or are you just fucking?
Yes.
Yes.
That's what it is.
Yes.
That's it.
Okay.
What about girls acting like a guy's shit is huge?
We've talked about it before.
Girls.
If he, fine.
If he's like 10 inches, say whatever the fuck you want.
Fucking log.
Okay.
Humongous schlong but if he's average or even a little bit above average don't be the girl that like when he sticks it
and you're like it hurts it hurts it hurts it's so big it's so big oh my god oh my like no like
it's just no guys know the size of their dick and you don't need to inflate them no you don't um when guys are lazy
i've had guys and what i mean by that is they get on top and like you're doing missionary for 30
seconds and then they once again are like hey now you need to get on top and you're i don't want to
be on top the entire time and he's just laying there pussy bitch boy literally guys don't be
lazy yeah don't be lazy and with girls oh don't be the dead fish
please you can't please um i've actually everyone needs to pull their weight in 2019 pull their way
oh i like that yeah um a few other ones when a guy just tries to stick it in without getting
a girl wet first oh oh the worst the worst moment of silence like for the r.i.p for that vagina dude how i have i
have had a guy uh-huh i understand sometimes if you don't have lube guys are gonna like spit and
make your vagina wet however the fucking guys that are hawking a fucking loogie on their hand
and slapping on your fucking pussy i'm like why do i feel like my fucking vagina is a sandwich
and he's slapping on the
mayo they like hawk a loogie on your vagina disgusting trying to force it in bitch boys
listen up if you cannot stick that thing in that means you have not done enough foreplay
and this bitch is not wet get her wet and put in work yes um when guys are too aggressive when he's
getting head a lot of girls were like do not
push my head down a lot of girls don't like that yeah i think there's a level of also um
knowing someone i wouldn't force a girl's head down on the first fucking day just like guys
the aggressive thing on your first hookup yeah maybe don't slap her across the face on the first go around.
Yeah.
Kind of ease into that one.
Yeah, I feel like I wouldn't love that one.
Don't slap a titty as hard as you can, leaving a mark.
Maybe just slap the ass.
Right.
We're going to stick with slapping the ass on the first hookup.
You can gradually get there.
Guys, we had a lot of girls writing this in, and I think a lot of men do this.
When you look up at
her while you're eating her out we've said it once and we'll say it again do not make eye contact me
it's one thing you like a girl looking up at you while you're giving a blow job it's another thing
when a girl is getting her pussy eat it's like i want to be looking in my own world in my own
direction because it takes a while for a girl to get there. I don't want to look at this little bit.
It's emasculating with him like in his tongue.
I know.
I totally agree with that.
I like that, Alex.
Please don't look at me.
Oh, I was just going to say unenthusiastic head.
I mean, that was one of our biggest complaints.
Girls act like we have said it before.
We said it in the Gluck Gluck episode.
Episode three.
You need to die for that dick. You're in the desert.
His dick is a Poland spring water bottle.
And you are actually about to die if you don't get all of that inside you.
Die for that dick.
Yep.
This is a huge one.
When a girl wants to keep her clothes on because she's like insecure about like her tits or something like that.
So she like wants to keep on a bra or a shirt.
Yeah.
Girls, your body is Wonder body is one just be be
confident and own your shit tits are tits are titties and i'll fuck some guys guys like them
big small fake not fake like their tits all right girls also just own it and we've said it in the
past girls that are afraid to get up on top because they've got like a little belly pooch.
He's not looking at your belly.
He's thinking about his fucking dick inside of your vagina going through your guts.
And if you know you have a belly, then be a bigger slut.
Exactly.
I'm in a good kick top here.
Dude, also someone wrote insecurity.
Queefing is hot.
Makeup running down your face is hot.
Ladies, enjoy it and stop trying to look perfect.
I think that's such a good point. Girls are so concerned. Oh my God, is my hair fucked. Ladies, enjoy it and stop trying to look perfect. Yeah.
I think that's such a good point.
Girls are so concerned.
Oh my God, is my hair fucked up?
Is my makeup?
There are some girls that freak out.
Queefing, et cetera.
We've told girls, people still write in, what do I do when I queef?
You tell him, fuck baby, that's how I know you're fucking me right.
I'm so wet.
Boom.
Boom.
God.
Didn't you say Milf Hunter complained about girls scratching?
Ooh, yes. He said, listen, I love love some aggressive scratching but there are some girls that just take it too far too far and you
can it looks like he fucked a wolverine yes and that's not what we need and battle wounds can be
hot but there's a line a little seriously yeah a little scratch here and there but don't it doesn't
need to look like he was attacked bad breath oh. Oh my God. Get it together. I kept seeing that one too.
Cheesy music playing.
When a guy puts on his fucking playlist and it's his sex playlist.
Goodbye.
Good night.
Marvin Gaye.
I hate it.
I'm dry.
I hate it.
Disgusting.
Oh, last one.
Sorry.
When a guy tells me to be quiet because of his roommates.
We both.
I know the guy you're thinking.
I'm looking up to the ceiling i'm
praying a huge eye roll i used to hook up with this guy that had roommates so they're that's
an issue in itself fucking bitch boy but um no black heart on him no no sugar daddy central up
in there guys we're kidding we're kidding but he had roommates and we would be having sex and i would just be moaning a normal normal tone
normal tone yep i will do it right now it was like uh it was like uh whatever there you oh
there you go great oh great tone great like that like that yeah give us more do an asmr orgasm
okay would people listen to that um but he I would do that and he'd be like, shh, shh, shh, shh.
And I'm like, then why are we fucking?
Literally.
Duct tape me, I guess.
Put a fucking pillow over your head.
It's so annoying.
I've had guys like that before and it's like, fucking own it, you pussy.
What the fuck?
Oh, man.
Last week, we talked about how to make a guy jealous.
Yes, we did.
And you guys got all riled up and all upset.
And you were like
you're immature and you're playing games well the games work so shut the fuck up go on to another
podcast like we said you're either there's two people in this world you either finesse or you
get finesse decide who you are we never said it was healthy we just said it would be worth it
what's that quote no we never said it would be i never said it'd be easy it would be worth it
it's like we never said it would be healthy we just said it would be okay so lastly we talked about how to make a guy jealous
and we briefly mentioned the girls that complained that they got hit on by a guy yep to in order to
make their man jealous yep that's what we're going to talk about we got a big fat psa let me explain it in this way what i mean by that is
girls need to stop trying to show off that they are desired that's what it is it really it's i
could talk about this for nine hours don't worry we're not going to but i'm getting heated dude
this is such a problem with girls and and let's address it because it happened the other night
and you and i were like kicking each other on the table alex and i were out at dinner with a group of
guys and there was a super hot girl there and she went to the restroom and she came back to the
table and she was like oh my god oh my god oh my god you guys you guys i'm so shaken up all flustered
what did she say she's like oh my god you guys like i was coming out of the
bathroom and like you'll never believe it i'm sorry i'm so rattled home shaking she's like
i was coming out and like this guy came out like i'm pretty sure he was like hammered and he came
over to me like touch the back of my arm and he grabbed me and i like turned i'm like what and
he's like baby girl you're so hot i saw you from across the bar like i think you're so hot she kept
going guys i am eating my fucking pasta staring at this bitch she's like and like
i just don't understand she came over with this fucking sob story sob and alex and i could see
right through it we're like and every dude near the bathroom and you were what like bitch okay
one of the reasons it bugs me is because this shit happens to girls every single day all day long every girl is getting
i'm not saying it's okay necessarily but it happens of course and you could tell that she
did that yeah just to make it clear hey i am hot i am desired and there's guys in this bar that want
to fuck me and that just stems from insecurity the amount of times in the story while she's sobbing that he's cornering her like i'm like
what is this like the taken movie like this was about to get abducted i'm like right what happened
we're like where's the story right we're waiting and the amount of times she dropped like and he
just kept saying like he kept looking at me and he thought he was i was so hot i'm like oh my god
so dumb stephanie you're canceled do you think do you think one of those guys was like oh my god I'm so dumb Stephanie you're canceled do you think do you think one of those
guys was like oh my god I'm so sorry like can we help and they all just looked at her like she was
a fucking idiot they were all like you done okay anyways uh yeah so we'll get she looked so dumb
one of my biggest pet peeves is when a girl goes on and on and on about how she got hit on yep oh
my god that actually i was talking
to milf hunter about this the other day and he said the worst part a lot of times in the guy's
mind is the way that girls will preface it when they're talking about how they got hit on so for
example the girl will be like oh my god it was the crazy the craziest thing ever happened to me at
mcdonald's the other day
you won't believe it and then milf hunter was like so naturally i'm over here she was mugged
she was robbed hit by a car car accident car fight i don't know what happened car fight what i just
said and then and then she comes in and she's like so i was in the drive-thru and the boy giving
everyone their food like just kept looking at me like eye contact eye contact and then i got my receipt and on it he literally wrote you're so beautiful text me if you want
and he like put his number on it and i was like that's just kind of rude because i'm like i'm just
trying to get my food oh what oh oh i'm just trying to get my food i hate when they say that
i'm just trying to go to the bathroom i'm just trying to get my food like i'm just trying to walk down the street shut up shut the fuck up i'm cringing dude how
about how about the girls that will post a picture of their dinner receipt or their their bar bill or
whatever and on the receipt it has the waiter's name and he left his number and they post it on
their instagram story it's as if they don't
understand that this happens to every girl in america anything that has two legs and a vagina
this shit happens to them on a regular basis you're not cool you're not cool you're not cooler
than the rest of us what about this one girls who post a story of their DMs. Oh, OK.
Like, there will be a girl that had a guy slide into her DMs hitting on her.
Yep.
Or with a pickup line.
Yep.
And she'll throw it up on her story and be like, oh, my God.
Like, really?
Every girl in a fucking America has men sliding into her DMs.
I don't give a fuck if you're busted as fuck.
It's like they feel the need
to remind the rest of the world
that they're wanted.
And it's like,
if you feel the need
to make an announcement
that you're wanted,
that's stemming from insecurity
and you look dumb.
I also think it's...
Unless a guy has a fucking...
This is when I would post it on Instagram. Unless a guy has a fucking, this is when I would post it on Instagram.
Unless a guy has a hot air balloon land in Times Square and has like a little pigeon
waddle over to me and drop off a note with a guy's number.
Hey, Sophia.
Hey, Sophia.
Chad's number's here and he drops off in the hot air balloon floats away.
Then I'm going to bring it up to people and I'll be like, the craziest thing happened chad's numbers here and he drops off in the hot air balloon close away yeah then i'm gonna then
i'm gonna bring it up to people and i'll be like the craziest thing happened to me in time square
today actually was crazy yeah because the hot air balloon and the pigeon number no dude if something
funny happens in your dms i've posted shit i call people out all the fucking time that are
assholes or shit like that if it's funny and it is it appeals
to the masses because it's entertaining yes no one wants to see a hey beautiful because we all
get a hey beautiful when it's insular yes no one cares yes and guys think it's fucking stupid so
girls knock it off yeah we all need to hold each other accountable men can see right through it
you don't think they can but they can if i get hit on i never mention it to a guy i'm dating ever no it's why it's hotter if you're
probably because i'm cheating and i'm being shady i don't want to bring it up but that's not why you
don't want to trigger him to look i don't i don't need to like throw it in this guy's face that
no guys think i'm hot you don't you know what you fucking don't i don't let's talk about sex fucking finally i'm really excited today so i um am really excited i'm very excited today folks
because we want to talk about a sex position that is really underrated and i was doing it
i was doing it the other week and you were doing it last this morning i was doing it
this morning and i was like holy shit sofia we need to talk about this so the spooning position
oh it is it is i asked milp hunter and he said this is this he always gives the weirdest analogies
this is the swiss army knife of sex positions you can do almost everything out of
this position oh so let me explain guys so the spooning position if you guys probably know what
we're talking about is when girl your little spoon he's big spoon and his dick is up inside you
unless you're pegging him oh you could do that too you could be the big totally i'm down for that
that's not what we're talking no no so this is when girls little spoon so this position i want to start with foreplay foreplay in this position is one of the
most intimate positions you can be in and it's so great for accessibility so in this position
for the guy it's prime position you can kiss her neck you can whisper in her ear talk dirty to her
you can kiss her you can feel on
her body etc you want ass it's right there in your lap you want tits it's a simple reach around away
do not underestimate the power of grabbing and feeling on her and kissing her and talking in
her ear she's gonna already start getting wet yeah and this position is so fucking good for it
and also not to mention if you guys are a bunch
of lazy fucks oh there you go there you wake up and bang it out Bruno Bruno I like that but so
this is so hot and so um I really also think another way I've initiated this position for
foreplay is um I was kind of like sleeping and we weren't spooning and i started masturbating
on my own because i was horny and i was like awake and he was kind of asleep so i started
masturbating you took advantage of this poor man is what it sounds like you're like he was dead
asleep i masturbate got myself got him what stuck it in okay we don't joke about no sorry sorry sorry i think it's fine just go
okay okay okay so um so i was so i got myself wet and then what i did is i then got in the
spoon position because he was on his side and i got into the spoon position and i like moved his arm over now that you mentioned she grabbed his lifeless arm and
draped it over her body now you're making it sound creepy I swear it wasn't no I know I'm
sure the guy woke up and was very excited okay so fuck you so I draped his arm over and i put it on my vagina
and put your hand over his hand and started rubbing your own clit
using his hand as a prop essentially and he's dead asleep and i'm really taking advantage of him make sure he's asleep the whole
no no let me get through this okay so i was masturbating i got wet i turned over i put my
ass near his dick i pulled his hand over and started rubbing yes he may have been asleep
but he woke up soon but he liked it he liked it and so then he felt
how wet i was and he immediately woke up and i felt the growth of his dick right on my ass which
is such a great feeling oh my god it's so nice when you're just like god damn yeah i was gonna
say so you masturbated and got wet which i think is really hot yeah um i think if you're in the
spooning position if you just start backing it
up like a dump truck and rubbing your ass on his dick he's gonna he's gonna start getting hard and
wake up don't that's hopefully hopefully if he doesn't just keep going totally fine no so um so
he started rubbing my clit and then i did exactly what you just said yep i started grinding on him
and his dick was hard and then i positioned myself and we got right into it.
And boom, there you go.
He was like, that was the best fucking way to wake up.
He didn't think I was taking advantage of him.
So once you get into the sex terms, let's talk about what you're actually fucking in
this position.
Okay.
I actually was doing this the other day, this position because I inspired you.
You inspired me.
I brought it up i was
i was watching you do it and i was like oh my god i feel like i want to try this i just kept my door
open sofia so could watch me in the sky yeah so then i went and did it with my boyfriend and i put
my leg i love how you're like my boyfriend is gonna say what what we were doing the spooning
position me in the sky and i put my leg up and i like put it behind so it was like kind of draped on his body
and that's like a great angle you kind of have to do that so you're so proud right now you spread
your legs you like scissor them open so first and foremost is just the basic cuddling and in that
for guys the position you can do slow stroke it or you can also ramp it up and like pound her pussy
to town but like it's so close and you're holding basically her hip that you can like pull her into
you very intimate position very intimate and then i like what you just brought up i'm pretty sure i
told you to do that and i'm pretty sure now your man's in love right oh he may or may not have taken me to car bone the other night oh
my god so okay literally we're just in it for the money and the food no but so girls um this okay so
this is my favorite way to do it so like sophia said i'm going to try to explain it in more detail
so girls say your right um leg when you're spooning is the one that's like facing the ceiling and your left is on the mattress okay that right leg that's exposed to the air you are going to basically like open
up your hips yeah sophia said and then put your leg like over his legs behind him and kind of open
up so like your vagina is now almost like facing a little bit more towards the ceiling yeah and
then he can still fuck you but you're almost like laying on him a little bit more towards the ceiling and then he can still fuck
you but you're almost like laying on him a little bit more now like your back is on his chest and
you're and then what ends up happening what i've done is you can get fucked from this position
he can rub your clit or you can rub your clit and then what i really like to do when i'm getting
acrobatic is once we've been fucking like that for a little bit i will
holster myself up and fully flip up on top of him so then that then i'm in the position where
my ass is in his face and i'm riding him oh yeah it's like reverse cowgirl oh okay or
if you want to get on top or what i've had is he will then come forward and flip me so i'm on my stomach
you're on your belly okay he fucks you from behind oh this is such a great position to just kind of
basically this position is the best position i think a lot of times to start in for sex
because you can then bend her over and fuck her from behind she can get on top the options are
endless and i also think just like the foreplay aspect if you
are what in one of those situations where you don't know if you're fucking this girl and you
guys are watching a movie oh cuddle it's kind of like a sneak up behind her situation we are
sneak up behind i don't care it's funny we sound so creepy this is like you can yeah and then girls
if you just surprise her and start can yeah and then girls if you
just surprise her and start getting hard and then girls start grinding on him i mean start fucking
using it more it's hot yeah morning sex like that i'm picturing it and like he's wrapping his hand
around grabbing your throat oh my god love that's one of the best is you can like pull yes put your
hand around her fucking throat yeah i also love it like i do this position a lot was when you are um high off of marijuana and you're kind of like in a sedated land and
you're just cuddling and spooning and you're both just high that's where like the grinding starts
and it feels so good and then slowly it just ramps up and then it becomes a full fucking rabbit
yeah it's a fucking i think this position is amazing if you're like half asleep type of thing.
Morning, cuddling, movie, etc.
Boom.
Spooning.
And guys, you can get like, I think a lot of times you just have to find your angle,
but some guys only think you can slow stroke in this position.
You can fucking pound down.
Especially when you have your legs up.
Yes.
Boom.
Woo!
I think it's time for questions of the week.
Questions of the week.
Oui, oui.
Of the week.
Okay.
Of the week.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
We talked about the honor code system at Brigham Young University last week yep and I told you guys
about the Instagram page honor code stories and how it's corrupt you guys are not going to believe
the fucking dm we got to the caller daddy yeah again if you guys didn't listen last week we're
talking about Mormon culture yes and I'm from Utah so like I I've been there yeah so this girl
wrote in hey guys so I'm listening to your last episode
and i'm dead that you talk about the honor code reform i go to byu because i grew up mormon but
i've slowly embraced myself for the degenerate that i am lol my new roommate asked for a podcast
recommendation a few weeks ago so obviously i told her call her daddy she wasn't a byu student and seemed pretty normal
but she ended up reporting me to the school just for listening to the podcast no i'm on academic
probation but i don't give a fuck because i'm transferring if i were snitched on for my dick
appointments or eating edibles that would be one thing but the fact it's just for being in the daddy gang honestly too funny for me to be mad keep me anonymous please love you daddies i am
so mad right now we talked about the honor code last week and this girl is living proof of how
fucked up and corrupt it is now i'm like no now i'm now i'm annoyed this girl is in trouble recommended call
her daddy to another girl and the fucking rat snitch bitch who i will beat up if i ever see you
this girl let me just say it let me put it in these in layman's terms there you go this girl
is on academic probation because she was listening to call her daddy because she listened to a podcast
and she recommended it because a girl asked for dude this whole system is so fucking corrupt and
i'm just i just want to say because i was reading more after you brought it up this system literally
is expelling girls who get raped yeah girls are getting raped and this system they're looking at them like
well you weren't wearing your garment you weren't wearing your garment that was one of the situations
that we saw so it's your fault you got raped and like oh you should have been you maybe you
shouldn't have been where you were when you got raped this shit is so unbelievable and i think
last week we were trying to be a little bit respectful and now i'm pissed that like someone
from the daddy gang is on probation yeah fucking get out of that school get the fuck out that is so fucked
up wow i'm so sorry i am so sorry too what the fuck okay here's one i love this how to find out
if the other person has fake names in their phone hack.
Not sure if this is old news, but I actually caught my ex cheating on me with this.
If you are suspicious of a person
that your significant other is texting
and you think that they saved a girl's name
under a name of a guy or vice versa,
write down the actual phone number of that person
if you can eventually get their
phone and write it down, add them as a contact into your phone, go into Snapchat and then go
to your ad friend section. And then the recently saved number will appear. If they save the number
under a fake name, you'll be able to tell because Snapchat usually will say, this is probably
Megan. Dude, I've done this before and I forgot about it one time i was dating this guy who i
was like wait who is this person you're texting i've never heard of this guy and the initials
ended up being the exact initials of one of the girls he used to fuck and i'm like are you fucking
stupid guys so what you do is you get the number you save it and when you go into snapchat you know if you add a guy and
you go to snapchat it's like oh are you this could be dave yeah and you're like oh so what she's
saying is it will say this could be megan malarkey or whatever and it's not fucking mark snapchat
reveals it that is so fucking smart so i think a lot of i mean we've told people in the past if
you're being shady like change the names but now if you're being shady, like change the names.
But now if you're trying to catch them, this is a great hack.
Okay.
Oh my God, daddies.
Okay.
So let me know this is genius or just taking my craziness overboard.
Never, never.
So if you suspect your man is cheating, go buy a new pair of panties and plant them under
his bed.
Find them and freak out on him because they aren't yours
if there is a mistress he will spill so okay i actually fully endorse this i know that's shocking
but i really do because even if he's not cheating you can easily just be like okay like if he's not you got to hold out for
the confession but if he's not saying yes i'm cheating on you yes blah blah and he's not
confessing and you kind of think maybe you fucked up you easily are just like okay like maybe like
it was like like sarah's that was here like visiting me like i think it's so easy to you
could just like brush off and be like okay like maybe I'm being crazy sorry honey I love you I think it's so smart I think it's so good I don't
know I wish I had done this me too me too I want to do it me too I want to do it right now tonight
dude that is so brill yeah so my wife and I started messing around with ass play about six
months ago and now it's to the point where she is a full-blown pegging me with a strap on
and honestly it makes me come hard as shit but now she's saying she wants to see me take a real dick
is that crossing a line for a threesome with me and another guy and her or should i send it for
her so she's been pegging him he was reluctant at first and then he she started pegging him and he
is coming and he's like holy fuck this is crazy and now she's like i want to see you take a real dick and what is but
what's his concern like if it makes him gay he's like is that crossing a line or should i send it
for yeah maybe a little he's worried if it's gay he's worried well should we should i think that's
up to you guys that's completely up to you if you've been enjoying it it's not if you're worried
about oh i don't want her to think i'm gay again we say it all the fucking time if it feels good there's
no sexual orientation associated with it right if you like what how it feels and you have to do it
people are gonna fucking give us so much backlash they're gonna be like if you're taking a dick in
your ass and you're a man it makes you gay no it doesn't i get it i understand but i really think the whole gay lesbian bi like yeah our our sexuality is so fluid yes and it's like just fucking play around
with exactly who cares and how fun is that that like they're having this experience right now
and it's making them closer and so i honestly care for it the answer is i think you go for it
yeah if you want to go don't worry about what other fucking people think it's your
personal business your wife is into it and if you're enjoying it boom do whatever you want
take one in your mouth to go for it jesus get dp'd okay this is a tip that this girl wrote in
she said daddy's pro tip my friend told me about this and i think it's important for everyone else to know if you can't deep throat have a bad gag
reflex hum while sucking that dick try it right now hum and stick your fingers down your throat
you won't gag boom wow i did not know that i don't think that's fully true but i do think that the more that you are humming and moaning, it opens.
This sounds so fucking weird.
But it opens up like the back of your throat is like getting warmed up because your vocal
cords are going.
Oh, that sounds so weird.
So it like opens up your throat.
OK, so maybe that.
I know I thought you like, let's just try it.
Oh, the fact that we do.
Wait, I think it
does kind of work I just like actually swear to god if someone uses this video footage of us
I'm gonna die okay so let's try anyways men hum while you're licking her clit oh yeah and then
women and then women while you're sucking dick daddy gang daddy use that okay guys is that it i think that's it we
love you so much i think we had a lot of fun this week we did i hope everyone is doing the spooning
position oh yeah i feel like we can really and everyone's sliding in and no guys are like you
like that when you're like that babe no you like that no fucking talk you're brushing your teeth
please please please please men men and women talk oh god we love you guys
so we love you guys if you guys could leave us a rating and a review on itunes we can't tell you
how much that helps us and like sophia and i say we know it's our theory i don't know if it works
but if you press unsubscribe and then subscribe again to the podcast you guys i do it like
multiple times a day me too i'm like peeing and I'm like unsubscribing and resubscribing.
It helps so much.
Thank you. All right, guys.
Every Wednesday, baby, we will be back next week.
See you guys.
Bye.
Bye.