Call Her Daddy - 41- How To Eat Pussy

Episode Date: June 26, 2019

Sofia and Alex PROMISE that after this episode, you will eat the clam and make her O in a way that has not been done before. The. Seven. Wonders. Of. The. Pussy. Eating. World. As an extension of the 'Cooch Gobbler,' there is something for even the most advanced sex gurus to learn. Also, the girls finally discuss hooking up with co-workers, including some personal experiences. And lastly, we are telling you where you can get some cheap Plan B and it is NOT planned parenthood! Let's get after it, daddies! 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy what's up wiener hole it's call her daddy it's so get it again you're so annoying. It's Sophia and Alex. The fathers. This week, we don't have an intro because we came unprepared. Sophia has a beer in front of her face. I have Doritos, Sun Chips, Combos, Fudge Strip Minis, and then the other Doritos. I have Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch. Beat that, bitch. I have a warm toasted lager, Blue Point and a cool ranch dorito bag and that's your update for this week folks it's call her daddy so quick update what's going on in your life sophia well

actually i can look at you and see what's going on i put on my story um for people to write in and tell me how the fuck to fix some dermatitis slash eczema slash psoriasis on your eyes that kind of sounds gross but no offense but i don't know what the hell alex i think it's our apartment it probably our fucking apartment do we have like fungus and we have fungi like coming from the fucking ceilings i'm like it's fine if i was showering dude i'm in we're actually gonna wake up but not wake up but not it's not gonna be that's kind of sad maybe we should sleep together tonight just for one last hurrah before we pass dude i was in

the um yeah we could we could i was in the shower this morning hands like in the notebook what did i yell to you in the shower this morning that there was a cockroach yeah right by my big toe cute it was like it looked like a little toe ring it's you want wait you don't want to know an update in my life what so i went to the gym last night my fucking ass is huge it's bouncing toned ginormous i'm ready to get on a guy into her no literally do you ever do that you work out once in your ass's store so it feels bigger i have worked out once and been like i could try out for the victoria's secret fashion show i am ready for the olympic dude and then you're like oh my god if i got it on a guy right now and turned around and fucking got in there and backed it up not to mouth with that

fat piece i like that too that fat piece on that like that sausage yeah anyways that's what's going on anyways nothing crazy well my eyes are swollen shut pretty much yeah you look pretty fucking uh thank you i'll post a picture no i actually will no don't we'll lose followers don't do it don't do it you look you look great when you put uh sunglasses on thank you alex you're all i can always count on you how to eat pussy in 2019 i want every man out there fucking going out of town like i don't even need to put my dick in you i want to eat your pussy i want to eat you till you scream till the guy told me that i'd be like oh oh oh oh oh i'm gonna scream i'm gonna scream okay it's time it's okay it's ass eating season fuck that

it's pussy eating season bitches all summer long all summer all fall all winter all spring doesn't stop all year round day 24 hours around the clock it never stops open 24 7 you guys are hungry i hope you guys are hungry because it is pussy eating season all right how to eat pussy bitches okay we're back because we've talked about the cooch gobbler combo yeah we talked about that in episode it was fine dining the cooch gobbler combo special and guys that was just the tip of the iceberg that was just to get you know our foot in the door how important blow jobs are for men yep getting eaten out is just as important to a girl if not more so i totally agree because so many girls cannot orgasm from sex yes so many girls the only way guys i don't know if you know this, but for a lot of girls, the only way they can come is from getting eaten out.

Absolutely. My first orgasm was actually from getting eaten out. That's amazing. Ever. That's amazing. And I think this is true for a lot of girls. Also, men, this can make her think, regardless of your fucking dick performance, that you are a sex god.

I think that's like the best point you've made. That's the best. That's the best point. If you know how to eat pussy, you're good. But your sex game isn't that great. She's still going to think you're not that great in the sack. Yeah, you're great on that pussy with your mouth. Yeah, you're fucking in.

And for those of you men that are less endowed and have tiny little dick. Oh, you better listen up because this is gonna be your saving grace all of a sudden your dick is gonna feel a couple fucking inches bigger when she's taking it because your mouth on her fucking yeah and her pussy just felt like a fucking fine dining five star fucking michelin star experience yes and i know that all the guys listening want a great gdr a good dick a good dick review we're not getting that and no daddy is getting a bad dick so listen up this is how to eat her out like an adult like an adult like an adult not a bitch boy so eating out get ready we are about to introduce the seven wonders of the pussy eating world, bitches.

Let's go. The pussy eating world. The pussy eating world. Ooh. Number one, the lips. And men, we are not talking about those lovely Angelina Jolie DSLs on her goddamn fucking face. What are we talking about, Sophia?

We are talking about the DSLs,'re we are talking about the dsls but we're talking about the dsls on her pussy space by the time listen guys by the time that you're arriving at her pussy lips arriving arriving if you are a daddy you have kissed her entire body her inner thigh basically everywhere but her vagina. And she should at this point be holding onto the bedsheets, screaming, begging you to eat her out. Begging. Get her starting to think about you eating her pussy before you eat her pussy. Preach queen. To the choir.

Preach queen. But the longer you take teasing her, the quicker she's going to come to climax. Absolutely. There's the inside lips and the outside lips. And it is so hot. If a guy starts making out with your lips and then starts using his tongue on the lips, and you can even use your tongue to spread the lips open, and then you finally go up to the cliff. Guys, it's so fucking hot and there are i've listen i've been eating out and there are not a lot of men that

take advantage of the lips get in the lips and once you have gotten in there with your tongue you can also start putting your fingers in her lips on the outside of her lips massaging rubbing licking lightly like with your fingers and your tongue incorporated fucking play with those lips absolutely let her know number two this is huge guys a lot of guys don't know where the fuck the clit is you can actually put your hand on like her pubic area and pull up to like where her pubic hair would grow yes yes and you're gonna pull pull up to expose the clit. Like where her pubic hair would grow. Yes, yes. And you're going to pull it up to expose the clit. Every vagina is different, but a lot of times guys can't find the clit. And it's literally because a lot of girls, their clit is hiding tucked under the skin at the top of their pussy.

Sometimes you're working with a hoodie. A hoodie. And sometimes a crew neck. Oh my God. A hoodie and a crew neck. What you got, baby girl? So guys, you have to pull back. you have to pull the hoodie yes take the hood off take the goddamn pull back the covers and expose the goddamn clip the hood is where it's all happening so i'm not talking your local hood where the drug dealing gangbang is going on. Where are you, drug deal? Where are you, self-hood? You're so cool. We're talking about a different hood.

The hood. The vagina hood. Yeah, no, but I like that. It's also really hot if a guy does this because it shows he knows his way around a vagina. That's so true. That's so true. He knows what the fuck he's doing. Yeah, when he lifts that shit, you're like, oh, he gets pussy.

Mm-hmm. Number three. Number three. Use your fingers. But you haven't heard about it in this way. Yeah, I was going to say not in the way that they think. Girls love when you put one or two fingers barely in. So you're going to put it in like an inch or two and just hold your fingers there.

I think that's such a good point. I think so many guys think when they're going to put it in like an inch or two and just hold your fingers there. I think that's such a good point. I think so many guys think when they're going to finger a girl, they're supposed to be like shoving in their fingers in and out of their pussy. And I don't think a lot of guys know that like you can literally just hold your fingers like halfway in her pussy. Yeah, 100 percent a quarter in. And then eventually you can go halfway in and then all the way in. But I do think it's hot for the first little while to have them barely in. I agree. There's like this sensation of comfort and fullness.

That's so hot. Also, I think, guys, if you want to, you can curve them up a little bit so they're pointed towards the G spot. So if you're licking on her clit, you're putting a little bit more pressure. Then that is going to push down on the G spot. Love that, too. Love that. Number four. Number four. Hand placement. Hand placement. pressure then that is gonna push down on the g-spot love that too love that number four number four hand placement don't get too focused on this but i love if a guy reaches up and like grabs my tits or my waist or puts his hand under my ass oh fuck yeah yummy wait that is so hot when a guy's

eating you out and even if he takes both of his hands and he like grabs underneath and like grabs your ass. Completely. Number five. Spread her legs wide. Open that bitch up. Guys, a man taking charge and spreading a girl's leg. Yes. Indicates to me that he wants to eat my pussy for goddamn hours.

Don't you kind of agree? One thousand percent. And also it gives her no choice but to lay there and take it. Oh, that's a good fucking point. Which we love. We do love. And any girl that's insecure out there, fuck that. A pussy is a pussy and a man's face is a man's face and his mouth is a mouth and your pussy

is meant to be in his mouth. Let's fucking go. Woo. Also, I think sometimes when guys spread the legs like a girl will probably feel way more secure because if she's like oh fuck like this guy loves pussy i have nothing to be insecure about she's gonna be more relaxed and then she's more inclined to oh yeah so fucking spread those legs wide uh number six this is gonna be a little bit nasty i like a little bit stick your tongue in her actual hole in her butthole especially for those of you where your tongue is longer than your dick oh what

that's fine that's a thing no then absolutely you should be doing this it's a little nasty it shows you aren't scared of a vagina and it's sexy let's go i think that's. I think that's a good point. Stick it all the way in. Stick it all the way in. Shove it in. Clean it out. Get it stuck in there. I think that's a good point. I think, listen, girls love a good rotation on their pussy.

And like if you can bring different aspects, just like a goddamn blowjob. When she's sucking on your dick and she's slurping and she's twirling and she's doing double hand twists, one hand twist, backwards flip, up, down. You know what it is. It should be the same with pussy eating incorporate a couple different aspects number seven the seventh wonder of the pussy the seventh wonder of the pussy eating world guys listen the fuck up dirty talk you can talk dirty to a vagina absolutely you should be talking to a vagina yeah but you got to keep it minimal i was gonna say

guys if you're going to dirty talk when you're going down on your girl you should really not be saying anything that warrants a response oh my god i don't want to fucking talk to you no no no one wants to talk to you no you're allowed to say one or two things but there is some hot shit you can say okay give them some lines the go-to line the go should be the goat telling her that she has the nicest pussy and that she tastes so good and then you're in like flynn girls are so girls are really insecure about their vaginas a lot of women are yeah and this is gonna just put her mind at ease therefore she can come in your mouth i'm so waterfall she's squirting in there she's drowning you you're dehydrated and you need a drink slurp slurp get your fucking

electrolytes bitch suck that clit get that cum no i think that's a good point it's like if a guy says that i taste so good i'm like yes bitch yeah bitch girls need to hear that shit what else um oh this is gonna sound a little nasty again but let's call her daddy give it to us um saying that her pussy is getting so swollen dude yes swollen equals turned on which means he knows his shit he knows the fucking anatomy of a vagina anatomy say this sexy don't say it's scary your pussy's swollen your vagina's swelling up let me get an ice pack it's like your pussy lips are getting so swollen and like your pussy's so tight like i see it's like it's so swollen boom that's all you need to say and then shut the fuck up now be quiet literally be quiet men I want you pretending it's a glory hole situation.

Okay? Here we go. Okay. That's a good way to put it. For those of you who don't know what a glory hole is, it's when you just receive oral from like a hole in the wall and you don't know what's on the other side. Leave her alone and pretend it's a glory hole. Just take all humanity out of it, really. Your animalistic features will come out.

You just go for the pussy. Go for the prey go for the pussy yeah i like that sophia guys the seven wonders of the pussy eating world you need to master these because i swear to god some of these things no no men do a lot of guys are not doing this that's why we both sat down and we were like what the fuck have men done to us that like gets us turned on men we love you so much yeah and we just want sex to be great all around the world all around the world honestly there is one thing though and i'm sorry but we don't want to fucking look at you do not be eating me out and be staring up you're not allowed to look up one no not even one act like you're blind put fucking sunglasses on please please like literally act like she has no head do not look up at her eyeballs no they're not there no matter

what no matter what no matter if it's life or death no matter there's a gun to your head you're not looking you're not looking at her i agree fucking focus on the job at hand on the task at hand and it's not her face it's her pussy every it's her pussy it's her pussy it's her pussy's face wait what so that was the lips or the eyes right and then the clit is the mouth and you're making out with her mouth there you go and where's her tongue okay wait light light light you can lightly give a little suck on it there have been times where girls have written in though and said this man bit my clit yeah he bit her clit bitch boys get out of my face get out of my podcast get out of my podcast turn this off i'll lose a fucking download over this if you

fucking bite clips get out of here let's talk about instagram okay because i got a fucking no no not me sofia's got a storm brewing i once again people people are like don't put women down it's not women that's the thing that you know what that pisses me off we're not putting women down we're just fucking calling someone out i don't care she has a vagina or a dick go listen go listen to a fucking self-help book that was recorded for you on ebook go with this call her daddy and i'm gonna fucking say whatever i want it's fine to talk shit on people alex and i also talk shit on ourselves all day long i fucking look hideous today your head is fine it's fine it's fine anyways instagram influencers oh throwing parties for themselves everybody sit back relax get excited get your

drink at your cocktail you need a fucking cock i'm gonna paint the scene paint the scene and fucking paint it picasso get after it instagram influencer hits a million k she has a million she has a million followers on instagram okay she has the audacity the audacity the boldness the boldness and the lack of self-awareness lack of self-awareness okay you've been doing that sorry i think it's fun to throw a goddamn party for herself for herself for herself for this milestone and she's gonna fucking call it ladies and gentlemen boys and girls motherfuckers on the goddamn motherfucking internet if you hit a million or whatever fucking milestone you consider a milestone on instagram follower bullshit whatever up my asshole if you buy yourself goddamn floaty ass balloons that say one mil and you buy them and

have them shipped to your house wall whatever the rose flower arrangements that have the number spelled out guys sophia and i were talking about this because we were stalking this one girl she hit a million and she bought herself a rose yeah what is it like a rose i don't know what it's called i don't really care it's like a rose wall and it says one mil this is the craziest thing what's happening like what's happening to the world why are people doing this can you imagine the influencers calling the balloon shop and asking for balloons? They're like, can I get some balloons that spell out one million? And then the people at the balloon store are like, oh, so you raise like a million dollars

for charity. And this fucking influencer is like, no, no, I actually kind of kill it on Instagram. She's like, ma'am, ma she's like ma'am no i actually kind of kill it on instagram she's like ma'am ma'am ma'am i actually influence yeah i in flu i actually slay the instagram game she's like so this isn't for charity dude it's fucking nuts i don't know what's happening i just want to say like i'm pretty sure instagram is gonna die soon and i just think it's fucking wild that all these people are putting so much of their life and their happiness into Instagram. These girls are fucking throwing. Can you imagine getting a fucking E card being like, you are invited.

Alexandra hit one mil. Come celebrate. Oh, my God. Are you supposed to take a present? What would you bring? I would bring a card that was like here's your reality check you dumb bitch dude this is fucking nuts it's actually so crazy how it's you dumb dude how many people go to those parties you have a million followers why why are there only fucking 10 people and five of them are

the workers that are servicing it with their food and two of them are your parents where the fuck are your one million friends? That is so true. Right? Yeah, and like half of them don't even know her. They're like paid to be there. Just like she paid for likes. Dude, especially for the Insta hoes,

which no shade, get your money. Get your money, baby. But the Insta hoes, and it's like they have a million guys following them to see them in a string bikini and like enjoy their asshole and they're like you're you're throwing a party for the fact that people celebrate your asshole and it's a great asshole i'm sure but it's not it's not for long no what's worse is the people that

do it for less than a million followers oh when they do it they hit like a hundred k and have a party and it's like celebration like come on get over yourself and i actually saw a really funny video um on ins or no on youtube jake paul posted something from coachella and it was a prank and all of these instagram models were standing outside of this party and they couldn't get inside and the bouncer was like yeah sorry there's too many girls inside we We're going to have to divide you girls. All of the girls that have above 500K on Instagram stand to the right. Everybody with lower stand to the left. And the girls were fucking shook.

Literally all the girls were so red. And then one of the girls was like, no, I have more followers. And he was like, show me your Instagram. Can you imagine the girls? They're probably in line and they're like hurry hurry girls throw up your best thirst trap hurry get followers dude i don't know it's fucking nuts i just don't get it get your fucking balloons out of my face one million my asshole one million balloons are bad for the environment f y i f okay i they're probably also killing the

goddamn turtles i bet you this same instagram bitch also has a picture of herself saving the turtles well you know what turtles will eat that fucking plastic balloon when it pops you're a little hypocrite how about that how about that you little ho dinger turtles and balloons how are we getting to don't no it's fucked up so anyways caller daddy has really been trying to talk about the turtle effort all right next here we go i think you have an update for us and i'm ready to go alex don't we have a guest coming on? Guys, I'm so fucking excited. This is going to hit you out of nowhere.

We have our first guest. Here we go. Introducing. Hey, guys. It's Alessi Loyen-Loyen-Dyke. Sorry I'm late. I was out celebrating my birthday with my friends being two weeks old feels pretty great i must say i'm spending lots of time with mom and dad and we've even started going on trips

around town together so much to see anyway i am still making sure to get all my beauty rest these days gotta work on that glow up baby leslie you girls know what i'm talking about just talking about sleep is making me tired time for a nightcap and off to bed for me. Baby Alessi, welcome! Wait, Baby Alessi, before we move forward, can you please read us your Instagram bio? Because this shit is fucking ridiculous.

My bio? I thought you'd never ask. Why? Started from the womb, now we here. Started from the womb, now we here. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Guys.

Okay, Alex and I are crying right now. Oh, I'm crying. Oh my God. Okay, listen. So for all of you that are first, guys? Okay, Alex and I are crying right now. Oh, I'm crying. Oh my God. Okay, listen. So for all of you that are first timers, quickly, if you guys don't know, there's that bachelor couple. They made their baby at Instagram. They're fucking out of their minds.

They need psychiatric help. Their baby was born less than a month ago and already has more posts than I do. Okay. She's more active than you. She is more active on instagram than i am the caption i just read gotta work on that glow up gotta work on that glow up stop it stop you should be ashamed of yourself delusion you know that this baby had jaundice oh in delivery room, shout out to my fellow jaundice patients because me and my brother had that shit.

Dude, when you have jaundice, there's something wrong with your liver and the doctors will give you like, it's honestly looks like a little tiny tanning bed that you got to take home. Oh, hell no. You know, this bitch is fucking having her baby go in there and she looks at the doctor and she's like, wait, keep her in a little longer.

I want her to get that glow. That's what she means by glow up. Glow up. Leave my baby in the jaundice tower so she gets a little glow. The doctor handed her that little tanning bed and she was like,

oh my God, do you have one that could like fit me? And the doctor's like, this is for jaundice. This is not for tanning. She's like, but like look at that that little glow you know this baby's fucking laying in its crib and what are those things that spin above your head the fucking twirly thing she's got a it's a ring light the entire her entire room is covered in ring lights this baby it's you know for a fact. Also, I would like to point out something a few Daddy Gang members wrote in.

And they sent me a screenshot of the baby. And it had a caption. And someone commented on the picture and said something, something like the grammar here is not correct. But like all is forgiven. Okay. The baby. The baby. The baby. Alessi.

Alessi commented back to this person and said, I'm just a baby. Like, of course my grammar is going to something, something. I haven't gone to school yet. I'm just getting customized with the iPhone. So the reason I bring that up is because that baby's mother a 30 something year old woman a grown adult is commenting back to another adult pretending to be a baby the worst i think also it's not the worst because what you just read is probably the fucking worst started from the womb now we have but but the the worst also to me is that like then on the baby's posts she will log out of the

baby's instagram log into her instagram and then go comment on the baby's post and be like oh my god you look so cute here i love you i didn't even love you i didn't even think about that she's she's literally split personality disorder this lady someone get her psychiatric she's on our level this bitch has a blue checkmark. This baby. Sorry. I said the bitch. The baby.

The baby has a blue checkmark. Who is working at Instagram? That's like. So I know that this is a baby. And it's basically a fetus. And I know that it's been alive for about a month. But let's go ahead and give it a blue checkmark. Because it is definitely.

This is definitely the baby posting all this well that's just our baby lessee update i hope you guys enjoyed our first fucking guest anyways all you horny motherfuckers listen the fuck up because we're about to talk about hooking up hooking up in the workplace oh my god i know rebecca you've been trying to fucking pork james that sits across you've been wearing the pencil skirt from express that's a little too tight and your j crew button up but and the buttons are bursting and you're lactating through your bra anyways anyways hooking up with co-workers let's get into it first let's set the scene there's two different settings well there's multiple settings but i think the main ones are the service industry

and then the corporate world yeah this service industry because that shit's different than the corporate world that's like working in a restaurant yes bartender bottle service girl stripper that's you're in the service industry you're a stripper yeah you are this is what i'm gonna say about the service industry i worked in the service industry for like two years hell yeah you did it is for people that like to party perfect and perfect for you sweetheart yes and you can people will try to disagree with me or maybe they won't but that's my take on it kind of anything goes you can be fucking your manager and no one's gonna like give you shit for it that's kind of you know what i mean yeah this is just a little memory that

i had let's go down memory lane sofia i take us with you get so blackout. Okay. While I was clocked in working, I was a hostess at this like high-end sushi restaurant. Right. You are supposed to walk people to their seats and hand them menus. Okay. And I would get blackout. And the next day, my friend would be like, dude, towards the last hour of your shift, people were walking in and you were being like, there's a table over there. And I would point across the restaurant and

just tell them to go seat themselves but that has nothing to do with having sex in the service industry anyway didn't you just like flirt with your boss and like you were all fine like you just kind of like yeah probably yeah but but that is the point you're fucking drinking on the job yeah i agree with you i'm pretty sure i worked at a um a nightclub for a minute because i was trying to get some money for spring break and yeah i know and so i like was bartending at this nightclub in boston shout out bijou and my boss was like absolutely trying to fuck me and it was just normal everyone's like oh yeah that's just like him and so every and everyone's just normal right Everyone's like, oh, yeah, that's just like him. And so everyone's just normal. Right.

Can you imagine saying that in like the corporate world? My boss is just casually trying to fuck all of us. People would be like, HR, where are you? Yeah, there is no HR. There's just shots and fucking people getting fucked in the back room. So the service industry. Yes. People want to know how the fuck can I approach someone to hang out with me or how do I hook

up with someone? And let's give it to them. The main line here is because we are going to give you some tangible shit because we're call her daddy. We're generous motherfuckers. Yes. I think saying, do you want to grab a drink after your shift is going to be the most used line in the service industry.

And it's like totally appropriate. What you do is you schedule your shift to match up with the person's shift. Brilliant, amazing stalker vibes living for that moment. Amazing. Yes. And don't make it obvious, but try and do your shift so that you guys happen to be getting off of work at the same time. Oh my God.

And then you happen to look over to your fucking prey that you want to have sex with and you're like, would you like to get a drink after your shift boom like oh my god look at that we're both free let's go here we go i think that's great and then also offer to cover their shift if they can't make it one night you're like oh i got you don't worry brian and you can make up for by eating that pussy later and you can be like i cleaned your section off for you. I cleaned it real good. I cleaned the glasses off of section eight. So you can get off early and come get drinks with me. He's like, OK, please stop.

But then I also think, and shoot your shot. Shoot your fucking shot. Shoot your shot. Because the turnover time or turnaround time. Turnaround time. What fucking time is it? Whatever time. Turtle time.

It's time to fucking go in and shoot. Turtle time. That's a Real Housewives time it's time to fucking go in and that's a real house why it's reference you're gonna go into your shop yes because people in the service industry like get hired and fired hired and fired when i was working at the club i was there for three weeks max i was trying to get my money and get out oh my god i do later i ended up hooking up with one of the people but i was gone see i was in and out quick quick we're gone they couldn't even catch me i think there was like a month there where i worked at like five different restaurants in one month a true you get fired at chili's you get hired at fucking olive garden and then you bop over to

fucking buffalo ruby ruby tuesdays tuesdays i love that let's talk about the corporate world okay the world that you and I reside in currently. Well, kind of. I don't know. I don't know. What does Barstool is considered? This is, I don't, there's no words. There's really no words, but we were in the corporate world.

Hardcore. It's true. And the corporate world is a complete different ball game baby. You cannot even walk onto the floor and like give someone a hug no no you could get written up for that and get in trouble yeah like I'm pretty sure in the finance world specifically if you do a hug it's like yes oh no no no that needs to be reported I know a guy wrote into us and was like how the fuck do I go about hitting on a girl without her calling HR on me and here's the thing guys Here's the thing here's the thing if you're worried About HR You suck The HR person's dick So that they cannot

Get upset with you So this is the thing if you guys are Ever worried about HR you either take Down the lady or man from HR You might need to go a little Gay depending on the situation But it doesn't matter no that's actually a great that actually is kind of a good idea all right you gotta

infiltrate the hr department so you're fucking good to go infiltrate and ingest literally if any fucking people hear this podcast you mean infiltrate the department and ingest a dick or vagina and the cum okay swallow that shit show you mean business what are we saying okay co-worker to co-worker co-worker here we go co-worker to co-worker this means itworker. This means it's not your boss. It's not your intern. It's not the janitor. You guys are just two co-workers on the same level working in a working corporate environment. Oh, it's a tongue twister. I feel like the people you give like your coworkers a discount on how attractive they are because they become so familiar.

So like if you're like a seven somewhere else, like in the workplace, you can like be a 10. You could, you know, you're comparing them to all the fucking loose old farts that like work in a county that are like farting at their desk every day and eating their oatmeal. Yeah.

When you see Sarah and she's like biting her strawberry, you like i bet she could bite my dick real nice do you know what i mean right right so let's get into co-worker to co-worker all of you horny motherfuckers are writing in you're like how do i approach someone if i work with them and i'm attracted to them here you fucking go so you cannot cannot treat this treat this You cannot. Cannot. Treat this. Treat this. Stop. You can't treat this as if you're in the real world. Hell fucking no. You cannot go up to the person and be like, hey, like, you're really cute. Can I take you out sometime? Get the fuck out of here.

You gotta weasel your way in, you little weasel. You gotta manipulate them to believe that you're not trying to fuck, and then you fuck. When we say weasel, what we mean is like, it is a delicate dance. Yeah. It is a delicate dance, and if you misstep, you could fuck up everything. The first step is building a fucking friendship in the workforce. B, B, get it right, get it right get it right get it tight oh oh friendship first fuck okay and how do you build a friendship alex well well i'm so happy you asked there's a

couple ways yes what should we start with if you are the one trying to fuck the co-worker if they are new oh i mean this is like this is the time that you swoop in and you're gonna be their guide okay and they're gonna have no choice but but to interact with you i like that because they're gonna it's gonna be like they are a bird with a broken wing and you are the vet and you are fixing it and you are with your penis. Soon. Yes. Soon. But if you started a new job and you have no idea what you're doing and there's someone there that is ready and willing to help you, you're going to cling on to them. However, I do have to say, like, be careful because new people in general, especially

if it's a girl, guys, like, do you know how many guys are going up to her? She has 20 guys sliding into the fucking Skype messenger. She has so many dicks hitting her face when she's getting up and standing. It's like, oh my God, how many dicks can I take out once? Totally agree. So don't be the creepy one and set yourself apart. Oh, you know. There you fucking go.

Be cool about it. There you go. Call her daddy's good advice right there. Be so chill about it that she's like, wait, I like how Brian is like not fucking fucking creepy he just wants to help me okay next next i would say is lunch i know that sounds kind of stupid but i do have to say that you should ask them to grab lunch with you but also be asking other people like hey we're all going down to like get chipotle do you want to come with us because the more you just normalize going places with each other, especially like lunch casually in the middle of the day, that's good.

And then also I wouldn't be afraid to once you do lunch a couple of times, you can always go up to him or her and just be like, hey, like, do you want me to grab anything? I'm running down to get pizza like I can grab you something. And then hopefully they're going to be like, you know what? I want to stretch my goddamn fucking legs. I'm actually going to go get pizza with you. I want to stretch my legs. Oh, and then you're in and then you're're gonna be like you know what i want to stretch my goddamn fucking legs i'm actually gonna go get pizza with you i want to stretch my legs oh and then you're in and then you're having a little lunch date amazing totally agree what else um i think after you've hung out in the lunch department for a while i think at this point you get to progress

to what i call are you ready for this alex i guess hh sounds like what is what is hh sounds like you ask like heroin what is it alcoholics anonymous yeah what is it hh stands for happy hour bitches happy hour happy hour oh fuck yeah let's get rowdy you slide into her skype messenger or whatever communication system and you hit her with an hh question mark and ask her if she wants to go to happy hour is skype what people use in the workforce that's what i use oh that's interesting okay happy hour that's where that is where you can potentially fuck the co-worker you can fuck i think that there it's a place for you to get closer but it doesn't get really inappropriate you're all still in your work

clothes you all leave for from work you're still in that work mode right that it's not getting fucking ratchet and britney's fucking topless and you're in the white t-shirt contest yes you go directly after work you're in your fucking suits and your pencil skirt just with vodka soda so let's help guys out first we're gonna start with guys guys if you've been eyeing some goddamn fucking eye candy at work and you're like i need her in my goddamn life but all of you are like how the fuck yeah how the fuck do i approach this bitch this is what you're gonna do what are they gonna do at the bar Sophia let's give them a couple um I don't know you okay with drinks you cannot go up to her and offer to get

just her a drink no creepy she's gonna feel so uncomfortable especially because there are other co-workers around you guys and she's gonna freak out absolutely so offer to get a round of drinks for everybody and then I mean you can look at her and be like oh my gosh like what can i get you yeah give her a little eye contact a little flirt make her know that you are extra excited to get her the fireball shot absolutely okay but it's not just her that's getting the fireball exactly yep i like that i also think that when it's coming to the point where everyone's getting rowdy yeah let's talk about how he can kind of subtly make his move i'm thinking back to not too long ago when i was working in the corporate world if i was gonna leave the happy hour yeah i would have guys come

up to me and be like can i make sure that you get home safely and it didn't come off as creepy because i fucking work with them. And you're going to see them tomorrow at 8 a.m. Yeah, they're not going to try shit. Yeah, that's actually a good point. That's a great time for a guy to try to slide in because if she's like, yes. Yeah. I mean, that could totally change the night.

And then obviously don't leave the happy hour before her. Like if she's ordering another drink and she's staying late you make sure to stay late and if you guys outlast everybody and you end up there alone that's the vibe and you guys have done a couple happy hours before you go in for the kiss you can totally do the kiss yes i think lastly if a guy is trying to figure out how to escape the work zone and just kind of get her into a different element and really like take it to a different level yeah if i was a guy i would ask about what she's doing this weekend and i think you can do it in a really non-creepy way you can basically be like hey like my buddy's having a

party this weekend if you want to come by you can obviously bring friends or come solo whatever but it should be a good time if you want to come no pressure and then you have her on a weekend outside of work totally and now you've broken that barrier yeah and if you make a move it's just way more accepted because like it's not during the work right it's not after work you guys are in your party clothes boom party pants also a couple hours into the happy hour you can turn to her and be like this bar actually sucks like let's go to fucking pinkies boom pinkies pinkies the bar pinkies pop in because then you can get her away from your fucking manager and tina with the fucking stick up her asshole and she won't stop staring at you because she's trying to fuck you since she got there.

Right. That's a great idea. I think that's good. Guys, you also need to also try to read the signs. Yeah. Read the fucking sign. Right. If you're walking with this girl down the fucking hall to go get cake because someone

it's Melissa's birthday from operations. I always like to give a little backstory. I like it and you drop a paper clip and this girl bends over to pick it up and hands it to you and you're like she wants this girl wants the fucking monster dick in between my legs no she is gonna pick up the paper clip for jason wachowski from from from tech okay who's been working there since the company was founded in 1993 okay you're not special she's picking up a paper clip for anybody i don't know what that last name okay okay but then there's the flip side where there's like a girl that has her clit

hanging out underneath her skirt with her legs spread and she's like she's like under the desk she's like no look under and he's like he's like oh my god you need to shut your legs they're open oh my god casey casey your shit's open and she's like it's for my God, you need to shut your legs. They're open. Oh, my God. Casey, Casey, your shit's open. And she's like, it's for you. Take the fucking signs. If her clit is hanging out on the ground at work and she does. Is there a clit hanging out on the ground? Yeah.

Okay, guys, the thing is, is read the fucking signs. Once again, if you're the boss, if you're the superior in any Shape or form it's probably gonna end up As a sexual harassment case it's not Fucking worth it sorry but it is sorry In this day and age but we're not gonna Get in trouble Sophia no it's for the Brand I'll have anyone helping us I have No one to sexually harass that's the

Problem it's me once we get an intern you're all the people that send an intern application so it's all of a sudden they're like hi i retract hi i retract unless it's a guy that needs low-key ones like hundreds of dudes are like i want you to fucking say okay all right all right moving on okay questions questions of the week questions Moving on Okay Questions Questions of the week Questions of the week Oh so now you're trying to do it No I only wanted to do the

Questions of the like Bitches Alright here we go This isn't scientific but it holds true For 90% of women If a woman truly has an orgasm the roof of her mouth becomes noticeably cooler girls can't fake that shit so god damn it girls i know you think i'm fucking you over here but i'm really not just don't let him go in for a kiss after you come

boom fuck no yeah by his tongue yeah hurry and put your head down and start sucking his dick okay i'm protecting you. No, that's a good point. Outing all of these facts. That's a really good point. This is an interesting one. Okay. I'm a personal trainer in a corporate fitness center. It's a private gym and we have a bunch of wealthy clients, a lot of CEOs, lawyers, businessmen. I'm 22 and I'm the youngest working at this gym okay before taking this job i made sure that no one would be able to find my social media so that they can't see what i'm really up to because i've got to keep it professional but one place i do have my full name and last name

is on linkedin oh that is where they find me men have been sliding sound like they're like predators i know right that's where they find me i guess they probably are men have been asking me to go to drinks through my linkedin married ceos lawyers sliding in i'm talking the whole fucking nine yards of married men fucking linkedin this is what i take from this okay first of all that's crazy if you this is how to catch a cheater right there is what linkedin i didn't even think about it i mean when someone's desperate for pussy i guess there is no social platform that they will not infiltrate seriously linkedin is so if you are wondering oh like i would never checked his linkedin he's not gonna get fucking shady up in that bitch or she's not gonna get shady check the

fucking linkedin messages wow because all of a sudden you could be finding out some really fucked up shit and she made it sound like it's mostly older married men that's also the thing i want to give a big fat psa to everyone that shits on us here we go everyone that shits on us for talking about cheating and giving you guys the blueprint of how to catch a cheater hi this girl is sitting here saying married mostly married men are sliding into her dms okay guess what guys there you go all of these married men are cheating on their wives people don't get upset that we give them the blueprint to catch someone they get mad when we joke about how we say it's okay the reason why well okay's because it is fucking awesome yeah fuck that it's great keep going no good for those ceos because men all these married men men usually historically have been

the ones that cheat more than women yeah and we are here trying to catch up we're trying to catch up exactly we are reclaiming our cheating power, bitches. OK. OK. Next, someone wrote in important tip. I'm listening to this week's episode. Love it, by the way. If you want to save some money and if you just buy a few in advance, you can buy plan B for nine dollars and ninety nine cents on Amazon. What? Also, if you don't have any in stock at home from this they ship it next day love the daddy gang i went on amazon prime to look at this there are like different brands of the plan b pill and there are some that are 9.99 alex and i are not gonna fully endorse this because like i don't know we need someone to quickly be the guinea pig that's willing to get pregnant Quickly try it

No we need like a doctor but there were Versions of the plan B pill That were super cheap on Amazon And I think that if anything You know if it is legit I think this is great to like let people know Because a lot of people don't have that type of money And then they don't get the plan B pill

And then they get pregnant So guys check out Amazon. That's fucking bomb. And we don't know if these pills are 100%. No, but you know, there you go. There you go.

My boyfriend was showing me something funny that his female friend sent him. And I scrolled up and saw a huge paragraph. I got the start of it before he could grab it his phone from me we had a talk and he finally let me read the paragraph he was complaining to this girl about how our sex life has become boring well that's news to me and obviously that hurt my feelings but the real kicker is this girl who is his supposed just best friend has tried to get with him multiple times and he even almost hooked up with her once as i was reading he swears to me that it was a he was in a bad state when he wrote it and they never actually hooked up and he doesn't really think of

me in that way blah blah blah i feel hella insecure and i have no clue what to do do i just forget it and move on all while thinking about this every time we have sex now or what sweetie there's a cheat on this man cheat on him immediately you go down the street you find me you find a man with a penis and you get on it no listen i think there's a couple things to story first is your boyfriend then the other one is this other fucking bitch first of all he's done being friends with this girl oh one thousand percent and it's like it and i don't mean to be petty but in this situation if he has been claiming it's his friend and you're reading this shit she's trying to fuck him goodbye good day stacy you're out of here right this girl needs to go you're hunt that bitch down the street he should care more about

your relationship than the friendship and the friendship can go secondly when you said and i get what she's saying though with the whole like insecure thing now this is what i have to say to you i understand mentally when you're going into sex if you read something that's negative about you that your boyfriend was saying that fucking can hurt you and it can mentally fuck you up and like you're not going to feel as confident but i need you to understand that the only person in that room that's feeling that insecurity is you and so if you can again like we always say fake it till you make it what you really should do give him the fucking porn star version of yourself and then i think you should break up with him boom i'm not kidding i i don't disagree if my boyfriend wrote a paragraph to another girl who I already felt insecure about and

it was to complain about our sex life, I would give him the most bomb head. Yes. I would give him the best pussy he's ever gotten. I would fucking talk nasty. I would probably bring another girl into the bedroom to do a threesome. All of a sudden the girl crawls out of the closet. Yes. It's like I brought a third. I would do some crazy shit and then i would say

honey i hope you like that because you will never fuck me again good night bye call her daddy bitch anyways next that was a good one okay i talked about how girls shouldn't wear high-waisted bikinis and we're about to get ripped a new asshole, Alex. But I'm sorry because if I were listening to a podcast, this is the type of insider info I would want. Give it to me. A guy wrote in. And he said, since you talk about things for guys not to wear on your show, you should also do the same for women. A big no-no from guys is when a girl wears air force ones

those are one of the biggest turnoffs for guys and need to go away asap wow once again girls if you don't want to dress for guys then don't fucking do it if you want to go out and look hot and want a guy to think that you look hot don't do the air force ones okay that's all i'm gonna say confession to make you wear those i have a picture on my instagram sophia's looking at me like she's about to shoot me in the head i and that's fine though it's totally fine and that's fine totally fine and I agree with you actually like if you and maybe a guy will go see that picture and be like uh don't love it right whatever and you know what I don't really ever wear them just more for like Instagram posts but I guess I'll fuck off with those too so okay that's cool all right

Sophia see guys even Alex fucks up Yeah even I fuck up too Go find the picture bitches Okay Sophia this is for you to help this girl out Moral dilemma here I know this is the direct Opposite of your daddy teachings But I want to get caught

Cheating hear me out That's not the opposite Without going into the details My boyfriend cheated on me towards caught cheating hear me out that's not the opposite this is amazing all right without going into the details my boyfriend cheated on me towards the start of our relationship and it really fucked me up pretty badly i was blind in love and i threw all my logic and game out the window as one often does when they are blind and in love since then i've become a jaded bitch who avidly follows the cheat or be cheated on mentality so fast forward about a year later and i'm cheating on my boyfriend now it's been going on and off for a couple months and i'm

having a great fucking time here's the issue i know this is something i should take to the grave but a small and very fucked up part of me wants him to find out for pure satisfaction i know i shouldn't want someone i love to go through the same pain as i did but what can i say i'm a petty bitch and he really fucked me up by cheating any advice sweetheart sweetheart you've come to the right wait this is like so exciting i'm like i'm thinking about all the all the different ways she could do this so my first one is you is what you did but you didn't mean to do it dial so what I was gonna say is I think The more authentic it comes off The better me too cause like don't just

Go ahead and send him a video and be like Fuck you or don't like accidentally Send him a text no no no Oh right so you could Accidentally butt dial and moan So what I'm thinking is when you're in the middle of fucking This guy have your phone ready to go On contacts as your boyfriend.

You call him and he sits there and has to listen to you fucking this guy. Also, that fucking hurts. Emerging details about when I did that. I remember one of the things that fucked me is that you could hear me saying something about buying the plan B with a guy. Oh, and like have it be towards the end of sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And be and be like fuck i need to buy plan b tonight right right right like say something like and he's gonna want to actually die so that's a good oh i love that one good one good one that's a great one i think maybe um randomly out of

nowhere have like a condom in your purse or in your wallet um i go this is a great one is go fuck you i'm so excited so much fun oh this is a good one go radio silent for an entire night yes don't come home if you don't come home or like radio silent if you guys have plans or something just completely ignore him for an entire fucking night and then the next day when he's freaking out be like so sorry like i fell asleep yes and just make it so shady and then start planting do a new sex move that he's like where the fuck did you learn that and take it from get scent bird yeah wear cologne wear cologne he's gonna be like why do you smell like have a man's shirt on when like he comes over and be like, oh. Send him a picture of something in your room.

But like, and then have accidentally a condom wrapper in the background. Or accidentally like a guy's like whitey tighties in the picture. And then if you really want to fucking spice shit up and you want it to basically end, have the guy over to your apartment. Forget that you invited your boyfriend over to have him walk in on you getting fucking railed by this other guy. I thought you were about to get an STD from the guy that you're cheating on your boyfriend with and then give him the std no that wasn't where i was going but that too that's okay okay that's a good one

okay daddy we love you daddies we love you so so so day father's day daddy day Okay guys we love you if you guys Can take a moment you guys know we're gonna Ask you if you guys can leave a rating And a review it helps us So much it really does You guys have your phones right now We're struggling we trust us we are Yeah so if you guys could go leave us a rating

And review and then I know this sounds Insane but if you press unsubscribe And then you press unsubscribe and then you press resubscribe supposedly we have a feeling that it helps it helps the situation it helps the standings yeah and we want to get the standings for the daddy gang high yeah so also our instagram mine is sophia franklin sophia with an f franklin with a y and mine mine is Alexandra Cooper. Go follow us on Instagram. Guys, have sex tonight. Get wasted tonight. Have fun tonight.

Get so corny. Pre-game to this episode. Eat that pussy. Go fuck your boss. Go fuck your coworkers. Woo! Okay, we love you guys. But if you're a boss, don't fuck your subordinates.

Bye. Keep it in your goddamn fucking pants. Bye-bye. Bye, Daddy Gang.