Call Her Daddy - 44- Girls He Fucks vs. Girls He Dates

Episode Date: July 17, 2019

Lots to cover on this weeks episode! Sofia and Alex talk about the types of girls men choose to fuck vs. date, and they are getting extremely specific/personal- talking about their exs. They are also discussing the REAL reason females cockblock their girlfriends, instagram bios that are preventing you from getting laid, and two new moves that will make your behind look like you got ass injections! Also, Alex reads a text from her mom that puts everyone's stalking skills to shame.  

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy what's up guys it is alex and sophia it's call her daddy you wiener holes we're back at it again for our last episode moment of silence fuckers listen up this shit has got me rocked it's been a long run it's been fun but it's over it's been really fun sophia i've got turned on i've cried i've laughed i've gotten turned on i've gotten turned on i've gotten horny i've masturbated on this exact table right here oh the memories the memories it's all coming to an end i've learned a lot definitely and. And I'm honestly going to miss you. I'm going to miss you guys.

Yeah. Listen up. Obviously, we're fucking kidding. Listen to this bullshit. So, Sophia and I were reading comments on the internet like we love to do. And there is a full-blown army of people. I can't even say it seriously. Okay.

The title of the thread said, have you guys noticed the growing tension between Alex and Sophia? I've heard it the past few episodes, them making digs at each other. I don't know if they're referring to when I call you a walking prostitute. I don't know if it's because I compared your hair to a broom. I don't know if I say you have a cottage cheese butthole. I don't know what it is. Why would they think we have tension? I don't know. Guys. you have a cottage cheese butthole. I don't know what it is. Why would they think we have tension? I don't know.

Guys. One day I'm the hot one. One day she's the hot one. Wait, wait, wait. There's a thread. In the thread it says, I think Alex is just getting so fed up because Sophia is clearly the hotter one and she just can't take it that she doesn't get enough attention. I mean, that's not a lie.

That's not a fucking lie. Honestly, you guys don't understand what it's like to live in Sophia's shadow. I have to fucking go out with her and men literally hard in there we go out to a bar and men actually shove me to the corner and they're like we only want sophia i use alex as a stepping stool to get where i need to go dude we're not in a fight this is this is the thing the thing is is people don't realize that alex and i have a deep deep history yeah and shit has gone down and for us to actually be upset with each other it's kind of like it we've kind of almost been through it all we've been through it all maybe one day we will talk about some of like the actual real shit that we've been through that's like hard times but when people say like

the band is breaking up the fathers are done we're not going anywhere sweetheart bitch we are married and there's no option for divorce i'm cutting you off oh because like you do to me all day long bitch baby oh trust me i know alex sometimes talks over me so what so she talks a lot i talk a lot so do i but not as much listen all we can say as we confirm is we i don't think we've ever been closer oh it's like we're actually in a married relationship but i was just saying to sophia this shit we're gonna ride this shit till the grave we're gonna be in the fucking nursing home and we're gonna be doing a granddaddy edition fucking whipping in our wheelchairs jerkins in the nursing home i thought you were gonna say

jerking all the old dicks up. Well, yeah. With the jerkins. Yeah, there you go. So guys, don't worry. The daddies are still here. I don't fucking know where you guys think we have tension.

Maybe it's sexual tension and it's feeling a little tense. Oh, baby. Yeah. Don't worry. We take care of that. We're fine. The Call Her Daddy podcast,

the name really can throw some people off. And I get that. Especially the older generation. This past weekend, Alex and I, we have these necklaces that say daddy. Go check them out. Barshelsports.com. Merch, merch, merch.

I was wearing the necklace and this old geezer comes up to me. He was this very eccentric billionaire guy why didn't you snaggle that i know i should have i tried but he couldn't get it up i'm just kidding what what um what did he say he was like oh so you identify as a man no no that was the first fucking thing that he thought so you identify as a man dude and then nothing wrong with no transgender but i'm not trying to be transgender so i'm like alex i think of myself as pretty feminine you are so for him to say that i was like do i look like wait what did you say I said no and he's like oh you don't so what is it you're like please sir I probably I can you imagine me trying to explain call her daddy no him that's like 70 80 dude that's actually really fucking embarrassing I had a experience

with my necklace as well I went home the other weekend and I was wearing it and I popped into a party an old people's party where my parents were and I'm standing next to my dad and this guy looks at me he's about like 60 and he goes oh that is so cute you're wearing your father's name on your neck and my dad knows my show and he doesn't listen and he's like oh fuck me oh my god my dad like walks into the room i'm like no dad i'm sorry he doesn't know and this poor man is like oh it's your dad's name on your neck and i'm like no it's actually because i'm a fucking slut and i have a podcast where i talk about dick for a living but go off okay sure so good i was like i just want to go fuck myself so good it's really funny i mean for people that don't know what call her daddy means, the word daddy is what? It's like you're a boss.

You're a badass. You're powerful. Dominant. In the bedroom specifically. And you're just you are in control of your life and in control in the bedroom. Yeah. And so a lot of times it's associated with men. And so we are saying, no, no, no.

Girls can be daddy, too. And men can be, too. We're not being like, oh, my God, only feminists and only girls can be daddy. No, everyone can be fucking daddy. One night she can be daddy and the next night you can be daddy too. And men can be too. We're not being like. Oh my god. Only feminists. And only girls. Can be daddy. No. Everyone can be fucking daddy. One night. She can be daddy.

And the next night. You can be daddy. Absolutely. Just fucking decide. Two ones to ride. Into the sunset. These bitches. Are out here.

Pegging their boyfriends. Yeah. We're daddy too. Fuck yeah. Everyone's daddy. So things have been getting interesting. Over here guys. Lots of drama.

Lots of confusion. But yeah. Call her daddy bitch alex and i were talking about our ex-boyfriends the other day and we had kind of an aha moment aha both of our exes are trash i mean no but both of our exes had a specific type of girl that they would fuck and then they had the specific type that they would date and i need to clarify because everyone's like well of course like a guy is willing to fuck anything that's not what i mean i don't mean that they

would fuck like slutty trashy bimbos i mean specific down to ethnicity body type etc like yeah those things i also want to say before we get into this i want to clarify that we are just stating facts we are not saying that someone is better than someone else we are literally speaking from our experience and factually what we have witnessed men doing so i don't give a fuck if you're white black asian big ass small tits small ass like it doesn't matter that's not half an ass half an ass half a nose i don't get that's not what this segment's about it's about men and this interesting phenomenon that we want to address about their choice in fucking

verse dating and this obviously is not all men no but it just so happens that both of our exes like fall into this category so where they were picking well i'll just give you a given example okay my ex was obsessed with having sex with super fake looking milfs of course he would like nothing wrong with that right but when it came to sex he loved like the huge fake tits like a plasticky face and an older woman okay and when it came to having like a more serious relationship he did not like that at all hi me right like i'm not you don't have fake tits sophia i'm not a milf and i don't have anything fake for now so he preferred girls with a faker look okay this is where it gets confusing okay okay because we would be scrolling instagram alex and he i

would be like showing him the girls that i follow on instagram because that's what you fucking do right maybe not maybe not but that's what we do that's what me and my boyfriend would do at the time and i would show him pictures of all these girls and he would talk shit on what they looked like like he would be like they all look the same like all these girls look exactly the same because they're getting the same plastic surgery and like her lips are fake and like this is fake on her and i would look at him and be like are those not the type of girls that you like to fuck like you fantasize about fucking these kind of girls exactly and i would ask him about it and he would be like it's completely different when it comes to fucking i want to i want to fuck like

this fantasy type thing and i wouldn't want to date them and take them seriously so he basically was really into faking like a milf doll like she was to him in his mind it was like a sex toy this is what he said he was like they look like they are built for sex okay he was like that porn star look with the fake tits yeah like fucking but he would never date with one of them yeah but again nothing wrong with the fake milf there's nothing wrong with that but the issue is like i would be standing there and thinking okay so he's extremely sexually attracted to these types of girls hi what does that mean about me right what does that mean about me you know and it would make me feel like insecure absolutely your situation yeah okay so i had a sort of similar situation to sophia a guy that i am still dating on and off when we are off i will obviously like the psycho i am i

stalk this shit out of him and see who he's following on instagram because i know he only follows girls to fuck them okay and so he travels around to different cities and I will watch him in each city follow a specific type of girl that is the complete opposite ethnicity and look of me. Right. So like, and which is totally fine. And when I say that he's following this type of girl,

I mean, they're like over 20 plus girls like every couple months that look this look exactly like this and i'm the complete opposite right so i can't help but be like fucking self-conscious because i don't fucking look like that so i'm over here knowing that he's fucking these girls and that's his type that he's sexually like i want to fuck the fucking brains out of this bitch and i'm over here like so if that is what your main fantasy of fucking is how the fuck are you attracted to the me it's so bizarre and i still cannot fully grasp yeah you know i think i think it's just crazy mentally for girls it's not like that yeah it's we're so different girls aren't looking at guys and being like i have i'm not out here like i will

only date black guys but i will only fuck white guys right that's not girls don't do that no i think girls will have guys that they won't take seriously right but it's not it's not in the same way it's not i don't think it's more i don't think it's also driven really by looks i'm not gonna be driven by that bank account oh baby let me see your 401k no i mean let's be real if i'm fucking around with a guy and he like doesn't have a good job right i'm probably gonna be like yeah i'll fuck him if he's good at sex but i'm not gonna date him yes but maybe there's some yeah yeah yeah but not really and it's so bizarre how guys are like i think it just comes down to men are disgusting they're gross men are so fucking like just sexually driven

and how they're able to compartmentalize sex in their life it's really interesting because i feel like women aren't really like that i think we wanted to bring this up because well sophia and i found ourselves being insecure and we're not really insecure girls but we wanted to bring it up because i think it can mentally fuck with a girl. I talked to my friend and he's a guy about this whole theory. And he said that the reason he thinks that guys are doing this, that they're just fucking girls that they wouldn't date is so that they can make sure they don't get any emotional attachment. That's a whole different layer. I actually.

That's a whole different layer i actually that's a whole different like five layer bean dip on this one okay so for this bean dip but now that i just said that okay so what so like a girl with fake tits he just knows he can't get emotionally attached to a girl from a certain ethnicity or country he knows yeah what this whole thing is so confusing the mind fuck you men are weird you guys are disgusting your whole gross sex is just stop thinking with your picker and your penis your pickerty pockerty stop thinking with it whoa this is i have a question for you okay so we get insecure about the guy liking a girl that looks completely opposite. Right.

Right. Because it doesn't look like us. Right. What if the guy was still liking a girl? No, a guy was liking a girl that looked exactly like you, but like a hotter version. See, I've thought about that. I think that would hurt worse. Because like, what if he was following all these blondes?

Right. And they had like a little bit bigger tits and a little bit nicer ass. They were just they were like Alex 2.0. No. You're like fuck you. Yeah. I guess. You know they're both kind of like ooh.

That's a good one. Yeah. I want to hear from girls. Yeah. If girls can relate to this because I sure as fuck can. God damn it. Fucking. That's why there are exes fuck you i just want to quickly

bring up a topic that makes me laugh it's not so much uh as it is a topic it's this text message okay yeah okay alex has been talking to multiple multiple men but one in particular invited her yeah to go to Toronto for the weekend yes and when I loved you got a stock obviously you got a stock if you're gonna go on a trip with a guy you want to stock and every girl needs a wing woman or wingman to help her stock and I have my go-to when it comes to my stocking and it's not sophia and it's not milf hunter no it's my fucking mother it's so good my mother it's so her mom is fbi level yes cia level yes yes i love my mother and so thanks mom shout out to you because i know you listen to the podcast so i want to read you guys this because it's pretty unbelievable.

Because Sophia was like, what the fuck? I couldn't believe it. So basically, this guy, we were talking on this dating app. He was like, listen, I know this is pretty forward, but I'm heading to Toronto this Thursday to Sunday for work. And I don't normally ask this to a stranger on the internet, but you should meet me in Toronto this week. My company is bringing blah, blah, blah.

Like, it's going to be fun. We're going to party. I get a plus one. There's pool parties, nice dinners, whatever. So I'm like, you know what? That sounds like a great time, but I also don't really want to die. So I hit up my mom. I sent her the messages and I said, Hey, need you to investigate. She goes on it. 15 minutes later, I get a text from my mother, and I'm holding my phone right now, guys. This is verbatim what she says. It's so good. He looks very rich, very handsome, family guy, dot, dot, dot, obviously very smart.

Let me do a background check, but I'd say go. You needed an adventure, and you wanted to go to Toronto. And then she texts me 20 minutes later. So far, he doesn't have a criminal record. Oh, my God. Seems to have graduated from college. Although LinkedIn says he played men's soccer. And I couldn't find him on the roster for the years he attended.

And I checked every year. Definitely makes a lot of money. Candle business is a startup on a whim and donates money to charity for profit. I'd go if you're interested. Why not? I'll keep digging. I was looking for the roster info to get his height. Call me anytime if you need a break.

I'm like, um, mom. She was also, by the way, I looked at his text. If he's paying for everything, including this flight, why not go? I figured he's about 31 based off my research. Oh, my God. I was like, Sophia and I are sitting there because I'm like, I don't know if I want to go. Oh, my God. Wait, I'm reading.

There's more. She's like, oh, and he went to Cal, Cal Poly tech for six years. So either he's Uber smart and stayed for his master's or he was just a dumb jock and took, and it took him that long to get his degree. No worries. Either scenario works for you. Get the episode done quick so you can go shopping for the fancy dinners.

Sounds like a blast. First of all, the way that she types is like, it's like a girl out of a movie, like gossip girl. Yeah. Oh my God. Mom! First of all, the way that she types is like a girl out of a movie. Gossip Girl. Yeah, Gossip Girl. Like, finish up that episode so you can get a cute outfit and go for a night on the town. I'd go if you're interested.

Why not? I'll keep digging. I'll keep digging. Looking for the roster so I can find out his height. The fact that she was like, I've checked every year. I have a background check. He went to this school. He was there for this long.

Like that is, I thought I was good. That is some, that is like some shit only a mother could do. And that's the thing. It's like, I know my mother

has gotten better over the years because she loves to stalk the men that I date. If I asked my mom, she would call me and be like, Sophia, what's the login password again for the fucking desktop in the living room? Dude, that's true.

I'd be like, okay, technology. Not her thing. And it fucking passed down to me and Alex has witnessed it firsthand. Wait, that's such a good point. Yeah. So I just want to let you know, guys, if you really, once you get close with your mom,

after those like awkward high school years, if you start to get close with your mom again moms love to be involved that text is just insane it's so and i've never known that i don't even know that much about my ex no and she's got it all in a fucking text i couldn't have done that shout out to my mother i appreciate you guys you got to find a wing woman jesus if you're a man out there and you're about to date Alex, you better fucking like hire someone to clean up your record and clean up your shit. Clean it up, boys. She's going to be in there. Oh, that was fun.

Instagram bios. Yes. I need to make an announcement. And this is more for men. But this like applies to girls, too. OK. What about the fucking quotes? Oh, in the bio no no no no no no i am pissed off why especially for guys oh my god especially for guys i don't care how profound and motivational the quote is like it makes you look

so dumb well because don't even girls are like, okay, girls can be way more embarrassing on Instagram. But for a man to have a quote, I'm like, no. Because for girls, they're going directly to your pictures. Right. Girls care what's in a guy's bio. They do. You know? Absolutely.

I read it. Because they don't have that much on their page. It's a direct reflection of what type of guy it is. If I see a guy have a quote about money in any shape or form like uh like uh cash rules everything around me dollar bill emoji fucking money sign emoji fucking let's go bro bank cal let's go i'm stacked bank account i'm loaded i don't know i just blacked out bank account let's go bro i don't think anyone's ever got that out. Bank account. Let's go, bro. I don't think anyone's ever had that. Wells Fargo, Chase Bank.

Let's go. I'm stacked, bro. Dude, or like back on that grind. Oh, on that money grind. And then all of their pictures. It's leaf season, baby. It's green season. Alex obviously has never seen these Instagram accounts.

No, I'm fucking pissed. I'm pulling up bios right now because I know exactly what you're talking about. Oh, my God. Wait, I'm going gonna pull up some too wait i just actually i um i matched with a guy the other day on a dating profile and then i unmatched him because of his um instagram bio oh see he goes he goes he goes it's just it's just so classic lions don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep that's the most fucking basic ass quote and i like the quote but why does it need to be in your fucking instagram bio for a guy for some reason if it's in the bio it just looks stupid it looks so stupid it's because like they look

like they're taking instagram way too seriously way too serious okay you just oh my god i just pulled one up you just said one about a lion yeah okay you've got one about a lion oh the lions are trending okay god the heart of a lion is within us all i need to stop with that voice that's like a chad voice the heart of a lion is within us all. Just have to unleash the willpower to be the greatest. That's not in someone's bio. Also, you just added half Australian accent, half frat boy accent. Wait, that's in someone's bio? And it doesn't help that every single picture is of him at the gym. So just fucking take that in.

Dude, men. I'm actually, because now I'm just going to, we're going to go into girls because girls are way easier to pick on but guys what i want in your bio tell me what you do yeah what either what college you go to or what is your fucking job and maybe put your location so i know if you're in new york city or not or or don't have anything or don't have anything or don't have anything anything that's anything any quote i don't care if it's a fucking quote you made up nope it's not gonna work wait now i've pulled up a couple girl ones i need to read them are you ready i'm ready you're gonna poop your pants when i read this one okay you're gonna

get mad great sunshine mixed with a little hurricane this bitch sunshine mixed with a little hurricane okay she might as well write in her bio i am obsessed with myself sunshine so she's saying she's a good girl but she's got a little flare to her she's a little bit edgy she's got that edge that hurricane edge no shut up no you're not the weather girl blow me okay i got another one old enough to know better young enough to know better, young enough to do it anyways. No! No! No! Every girl has had that at one point. No.

Why? Stop it. Wait, read me one. Okay. I'm hitting you with some fire. I just pulled up this girl. Okay. The number two.

Okay. Pretty. Okay. The number four, da bullshit. So it says, too pretty for da bullshit no nope no the fact that there's a two pretty for the bullshit no hey there's a the number two and a number four and then there's a bunch of roman numerals that i know goddamn well she doesn't even know what amount they she's just putting them in there to look like she's educated meanwhile it's like bitch you don't know okay can we talk about that oh wait let me read this okay i'm sorry fucking alex no now i'm off inhale spirit exhale praise that girl sounds like a real who

and a half to go to a fucking party dude imagine if that was in my fucking bio this guy's bio trusting god and live for the moment nope practice what you preach nope and treat people how you want to be treated no love life and they have an emoji of a snowboarder someone at the gym someone's surfing guys i know we're not trying to shit on people but we're shitting fully shitting on people we're shitting on you guys because it's like why the you're right you said it earlier people instagram is not to be taken that seriously we're just trying to bring this up because a lot of times people even ask us what to put in your bios we just told you your location and what you fucking do for a living and or where you go to school listen it's really not that hard listen let your ass pick leslie listen leslie i am so embarrassing i do shit that is embarrassing all the time i'm the first to admit it horrifying we are just out here helping helping i'm sure

listen i'm sure i used to have an embarrassing thing like I know I probably be like dude I probably have a quote on my Instagram so it's fine um last thing I want to bring up yeah because while we're on the rant I think that girls you don't need to put Irish and Italian no Gem. Gemini. No. We don't need to know your nationality and how you're split between three different ones. And we don't need to know your star sign. We don't need to know it. No. Maybe in the conversation you could bring it up.

It's always girls that have multiple ethnicities. Right, right. And for some reason, they're putting it because they're like, because I'm half this and half this, I am hot. I am hot. I am hotter than you i am hot you wish you could have been fucking a quarter of filipina a quarter

irish italian dutch and a quarter italian but you couldn't but i could but i'm hotter than you and my pussy tastes better because of it you got a little italian meat you get a little irish potato and then you smash okay girls we we don't need to know the nationality but yeah no i feel like and if you're so passionate about it maybe leave it for once you're in the dms and you guys are talking you're like oh yeah like i'm from blah blah blah if you really fucking feel like it i mean i could fucking do that my family is from all over the world. My mom's from Argentina. My dad's from Spain. Their parents are from fucking Ukraine.

Do you see me putting that in my bio? You're like Argentine and Spaniard. And co-watches. And co-watches, which I don't wear, but I'm getting paid a shit ton to put in here. All of you stupid fucks, go buy it. Also part hurricane. I'm Argentine, shit ton to put in here. All of you stupid fucks go buy it. Also part hurricane. I'm Argentine Spaniard Hurricane.

And also peanut butter addict. And also Gemini. And also a fucking loser. Woo, okay. Part hurricane, part Argentine. Can you imagine? Come to me, I'll give you a hurricane twist with my Argentine. Can you imagine? Come to me. I'll give you a hurricane twist with my Argentine Spaniard twist.

No, I can't. I would just be like white. Instagram, man. It's just I will. The thing is, it can really fuck you or it can help you. And a lot of people, it's fucking them. Yeah. Because I just literally pulled up my phone and was able to find those quotes.

Yeah. Used to be the sweetest girl. Can you fucking imagine that was in my bio? Used to be the sweetest girl. Now I've got a little bit of hurricane on my heels. That wasn't even the quote, but I just made it up. Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane. Sunshine.

Dude, it's so rough. Honestly, as long as people continue to post ridiculous stuff we're going to continue to talk about it yeah anything you put on the internet we can poke fun of thank you very true all right all right all right all right so we were wanted to all right all right okay we wanted to friends cock blocking friends cock blocking female friends cock blocking their female friends we actually had a guy friend write into us being like hey i want you guys to talk about this and he had tweeted he said some girls will do anything to stop their friends from getting dick at the end of the night like shut up eat your nuggets rebecca i'm not gonna kill your best friend and you know it and so it was so interesting

to Sophia and I because the minute that we read that tweet and our guy friend was like you have to talk about it all these girls always cock blocking their friends the sad thing is and this is gonna be a hard pill for our friend to swallow this is gonna be a hard pill I think for all men across the world to swallow the thing is let's Let's just say it. Let's say what's happening. A girl's friend is blocking her from hooking up. There's a good chance she's intentionally allowing her friend to do that. A.K.A. A.K.A.

I'm out and I'm partying with Alex. And there is this guy and he wants to fuck me. And for whatever reason, I don't want to deal with it. I'm going to be like like alex be the annoying ass bitch what you need to do to get this guy to leave me the fuck alone yep and then i become into the friend that is the most annoying fucking for example for example for example alex this happened to us like this was around the time that we had first moved into the apartment yes i remember it well god bless god bless we didn't know what we were fucking in for dust mites

breathing issues respiratory problems i can't wait for our landlord to fucking hear this one day okay so we had just moved into the apartment and we went out partying. Yeah. I barely even knew you, but I just knew this bitch was going to be my bitch and we were bitches together and we were just going to be best friends. And that's what was going to go down. We go out. We come home. Alex had let this guy come home with us. Yep.

She was kind of flirting with him. She kind of liked him. Yeah. But by the end of the night, by the time he was in our apartment, you had a change of heart and you were like, I do not want to fuck him. Yeah. I was like, I hate him. So what did I do? So I told Sophia, Sophia, sweetheart, sweetheart, I need you to turn into Satan and I need you to ruin this man's night.

Alec, I get a text from Alex and she's like's like dude please save me and like get this guy out of the apartment okay and some of you guys are like why didn't alex just man up and tell him right there's a million reasons yeah i think it's just easy okay you guys are both in your room they weren't doing anything but you're both in your room you guys are both intoxicated you were kind of leading him on because you thought you wanted to hook up and then you change your mind that guy was not going to take no for an answer yeah he was going to sit in your room right for hours and even if we weren't fucking he was gonna be like it's fine then let's just hang out let's watch a movie blah blah blah i get it for whatever reason girls just like want to have their friend

take care of it it's just what it's just they don't want to be the bad guy it's just the rules of feminism it is oh wow i like that okay so i turn into the turn into a psychotic fucking next level straight jacket guys i have never seen sophia more annoying i go over to alex's room and i start knocking as hard as i can and i'm like alex hey alex alex alex alex open up hey al meanwhile meanwhile i hear alex literally telling this guy oh she's so annoying i'm like dude alex you can help me out a little bit i'm like she's so annoying i'm sorry she's being so annoying but she'll just go away you were playing with the lie playing the part this guy wanted to fucking kill me but he finally opened the door and i was like i am so sorry but you need to leave and then

i look at him i'm like i'm so sorry she's being so annoying tonight like i don't know what's wrong with her finally he's like a fucking fine yeah like your friend is psycho in the head like i guess i'm gonna leave and he left and a Alex and I slept like angels on a cloud because he was gone the point of the story is yes when you are a guy hitting on a girl yeah and her friend starts cock blocking you hard I'm not gonna say every time but the majority of the time is because the girl you're hitting on told her friend to take care of it it's so true she didn't want to deal and I don't think a lot of guys know that it It's so sad. And it's so sad too because girls in that moment, because I'm thinking of myself in the story you just told of us. Yeah.

Girls in that moment are such fucking good actresses. Oh my God. On both ends. Oh my God. I was killing it pretending like I wanted to fucking kill you and I was going to murder you when he left. And I just put on. You're like Alex, open the door put on my fucking crazy bitch yes yes and and so i think to our friend he was just like it's so annoying i'm

like yeah the sad thing is is a lot of times they're they're in on it together 100 and it sucks the only time i would ever cock block is if you were like foaming at the mouth so fucked up out of your mind i'd be like she is gonna regret this in the morning i think alex needs to go actually the hospital she can't fuck right then i'm gonna swoop in besides that i don't care if you tell me like all of a sudden the fucking 400 pounder at the bar that has been farting the whole time if you tell me that he's the guy you want to go home with i'll be like let me go see i'm gonna support you don't be a cock block courtney that's your name if you're a cock blocking courtney yeah i had one of those in high school don't be her

no i bet you that girl wanted to fuck all the guys even the farting fart eating his matzah sticks. Yeah. It's true. What am I talking? Matzah sticks. There's matzah balls. What? What? Okay. Back to the basics.

Here we go. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. Now where you at? Where you at? It's ass. No, it's not even ass eating season. It's not pussy eating season.

It's just all about the ass period. It is. It is.'s not even ass eating season. It's not pussy eating season. It's, it's just all about the ass period. It is. It is. The tits don't matter. The face has never mattered. Let's be honest. It's just the ass matters.

That's all that matters to men these days. 100. So of course, naturally the call her daddy girls have decided we need to do a little segment, a quick little segment with two beautiful positions to make your ass look like the goddamn fucking peach emoji you use on the iphone motherfuckers and it doesn't matter if you have a fat ass a tiny ass no ass your ass is gonna look hot in this position big ass fat ass little ass swamp ass don't matter ass is an Yes. So first position I want to bring up. There's two positions.

Yes. Child's pose. Yes. And the L spread. Hit them. Hit them, Alex. Okay. Child's pose.

Listen, motherfuckers, we're not talking about yoga. Like we are. It does look like the child's pose. It is the position. Except there's a dick in you. It is the yoga position. Unless you're fucking your yoga instructor. You don't have a dick in you at yoga.

But you're going to today. So basically, girls, what you're going to do for child's pose. It's also not as relaxing as yoga. You think? You know? It's not like a meditation. I mean, maybe it is kind of meditation. I don't know. Okay, go.

So, Sophia, I was talking to you about this child's pose because you've never done it, right? No. And so you were a little shook. Shocking. A little shook. I'm about to burst into flames in the Call because you've never done it, right? No. And so you were a little shocking. A little shook. I'm about to burst into flames in the call her daddy studio. How dare you? What is this?

Amateur hour? I know, bitch. I'll do it tonight. All right. With me. All right. Okay. So here we go.

Child's pose. So girls, you are going to be on the edge of the bed and you're going to get in the child's pose positions where like your chest basically goes down to your knees. Well, you're on your knees. Yes. And then you're going to put your torso, you're going to rest your torso chest on your thighs. Yes. Down to your thighs. And so arms out. So you're going to spread your arms forward with your arms reaching and like grabbing those sheets and your ass in this position, you're basically gonna look like an ass yes in a good way which is really what we want right right so also with this position you don't have to keep your hands forward the whole time like squeezing the sheets then if you want to switch it up and get

a little fucking nastier put your hands behind your back like you're getting handcuffed and be like, fuck baby, arrest me officer, take my ass to fucking jail. It's really fucking hot. That is. I used to do this position with my ex all the time. It was one of like our finisher positions. And I think it's so hot because your ass is just up. But there's also the verbal aspect that I want you guys to incorporate with this.

So as he's fucking your ass basically you can be adding in comments like oh my god babe like you're so fucking deep because in this position he can go so deep and that's the thing a lot of times guys sometimes don't have complete access in certain positions but this is one where his whole fucking dick is shoved up in there and not only is your ass looking so good but if you're saying those perfect things like you're so fucking deep blah blah he's gonna be like i need to fucking try not to come in 30 seconds from them oh these are those positions that met it's their weakest fucking position it is men are like please thinking about my grandma thinking about anything but this it's hard for them okay so it is all about the ass so girls try out child's pose

yes men will fucking love it and it's a nice little change up from doggy totally so now sophia what's the other one so now we're gonna switch it up and this is the l spread last night took a l but tonight i took a dick oh oh okay, so you are up against the edge of the bed. OK. One leg is standing. The other leg is going to be spread out to the side. OK. And you're going to place either your knee or foot on the mattress.

So it's like an L shape. Right. Do you get what I'm saying? Like when people put their leg up on Like a balance beam yeah like It's like you're one leg down other leg sideways You're making the shape of an L And we I don't think I've ever Done this Alex what the fuck

I know now we'll just switch we'll do a little Switcheroo wait That's actually sounds so fucking hot Yeah this is going to accentuate your Ass oh once again it's Gonna look so good I was doing this the other Night with this guy I'm accentuate your ass. Oh, once again, it's going to look so good. I was doing this the other night with this guy I'm dating. And he was like, oh, he came.

He came all over. Is that how he got me pregnant? We've got a daddy on the way. OK, also, can I add for men? Yeah, you can grab her ass and spread her cheeks. I thought'd never say it really dirty really raunchy really hot so i think this position is so fucking hot too because you can also verbally really assault him in this position no you can verbally talk so nasty to him in this position and it's a little different than the other position what you can do girls is you can be like oh my god babe like this hits so good like this hits so different like fuck babe that

it feels so good because it's a different angle and so if you're verbally sexually reassuring him he's gonna be like holy fuck her ass is in my face and also you can tell him to slap your ass slap my ass and you can reach behind and squeeze your ass cheek and spread your own butt oh my god spread the spread spread the spread i want to make one comment though about if you do not maintain an arch when you're getting fucked then you need to save yourself and your safety net really can be to tell him like fuck baby it's too deep like because yeah like i i understand there are some girls that are gonna be like okay his dick is too big it's hurting my cervix hunchback and

notre dame go back to the disney channel hang out with esmeralda esmeralda i feel like it's fucked up to bring up disney characters while we're talking about getting fucked basically in our ass no but that is when girls if you can't keep the arch, it's going to look so fucking bad that you might as well just switch out. You might as well just curl up in a ball and go into like the fetal position and cry and just cry yourself to sleep because you look horrible. I think last comment, every fucking girl out there. Oh, I feel insecure about my ass or it's flat or it's too big or it's cellulite, whatever.

I promise you it will look hot. Every ass is going to look. It doesn't matter. it will look hot every ass is gonna look it doesn't matter it will look hot also i know that we're never supposed to be worried about what our belly looks like but if you're feeling fucking bloated i've been there where i'm about to like start my period straight up that's actually so high dude face down belly down, ass up. Yeah. Oh. Pork belly down. Big fat juicy ass up. Fat belly down. Fuck the gym.

We don't need the fucking gym. Fuck squats. Fuck squats. No. Just spread them. Or child's pose. And you're good to go. Fucking spread them.

Questions. Questions is the week. Questions of the week. Oh my God. The questions of the white oh my god questions i should do that australian accent questions is how would you do that that was not australian questions of the white let's go guys i have some good ones all mine about cheating this week whoa i was just about to do one about cheating well i'm about to do one first oh my god people are gonna get upset i don't give a i only have one cheating one okay well mine are basically all cheating listen we're all getting cheated on everyone go fuck yourselves cheater be cheated on okay listen hi fathers here's a hack i used to use

when my boyfriend wasn't answering me but i had a hunch that he was out and ignoring me if you go on snapchat to someone's snapchat profile it will say their snapchat score which is based off of how many snaps you send when I wanted to see if he was being shady and ignoring me I would look at his snap score and check over and over to see if his snap number was going up meaning he's talking to other people and ignoring me I caught my ex cheating on me using this when he was supposed to be at work and we weren't allowed to have phones. Okay. That's fucking brilliant. Tell me right now.

Be like, thank you, Alex. Say thank you. No, no, no. Say thank you, Alex. Fuck off, Alex. I want to explain something. Okay. No, I don't want to explain something.

I want to understand. Okay. How does this girl explain this to her boyfriend no this is no this is what she shows up at his work she's like i know what you've been doing i know exactly what you've been doing he's like what and she's like huh the snapchat score it went up it went up two scores today and you're done that snapchat score ain't fooling anybody what he's like what what are you talking about he's like you saw a snapchat of me and a girl she's like no no this score went from five to seven within the hour dude but that shit is like low-key fucking brilliant no it's good i mean it's just something i just think it's hilarious it is fucking hilarious like well what

like what about the snapchat she's like the score the score it went up it went up and that's all I have to say and now we're done psycho but yeah girls and guys if someone's ignoring you check that snap score fucking catch him right in the act a little horny motherfucker sending their wiener to little girls not little girls sorry girls above the age of 18 okay next okay here is a somewhat outrageous one okay this girl said so i'm sitting outside at my grandpa's house casually listening to the radio super peaceful day until the person on the radio starts talking she gives out a new sex term and i'm already cringing because i'm sitting with my grandpa but what this lady said was traumatizing she said the new term is figging and what it is is when someone peels a fresh garlic clove and inserts it into their ass or

vagina for burning pleasure i was shook my grandpa may have had a minor heart attack but i just have so many questions who is doing this and why the fuck is it called figging have you heard of that for a burning sense i'm pretty sure that a burning sensation in my vagina or asshole is usually not something that's pleasant personally but i'm not gonna judge because it's call her daddy and if you like putting fucking garlic chives onion cucumber stir fry in there i will fucking support you until the day i die but what is this what is this have you heard of this i okay alex is like i actually did this. No, listen, I have heard of putting garlic in your vagina, but not for what you're talking about. Let me tell you a quick little story.

Here we go. Back in college, when young Cooper was living it, I got my first ever yeast infection. Okay. Now guys, men, shut up. Just listen for a second. Every girl is going to get some type of something at some point. I had never had a yeast infection in my life. And I was like, this is the worst.

I want to fucking die. Like I want to crawl out of my body. This is the worst feeling ever. Yeah. So I couldn't go. It was the weekend. So I couldn't get to the doctor so i was like trying to figure out what the fuck to do and i was online researching on the google and all i kept reading was them saying if you stick a little clove of garlic in your vagina

it will alleviate the itchiness and like the annoying um feeling you're feeling so i went to the local market no i'm not making this up i took a little clove i was so terrified i laid down in my bed i did a little prayer to the hail mary and i was like please don't let this get stuck in there i'm not shitting you i was screaming my roommate My roommate was like, you're not actually going to do it. I shoved the thing up my vagina and I just let it sit there. And it actually felt a little better. I don't know if it was all mental or not, but like it actually kind of alleviated the itchiness. You're a figging veteran.

You fucking pioneered figging for the world. Oh my God. I don't, I don't know if I didn't have that infection like would it actually have burned because it made it alleviated my issue and then it was so scary taking it out i'd like finger myself and pull it out and it was just weird but it did alleviate some it did so maybe if i didn't have that then it would burn instead i don't fucking know i just figure not i yeah you're like oh no where That came from that story.

Took a loop. Glad I shared that. OK. OK. OK. Oh, I have one that I'm a little wet over because it has to do with red receipts. This is just a little comment, but I want to expand on it. This girl said, I plan to hang out with a guy and he ended up completely blowing me off.

So I followed your guys' advice. I had those red receipts on and I just left him on red. I shit you not, two hours later after me not answering his message about ditching me again, he texted me, nevermind, I'm on my way.

And he was on his way to my house. That being said, shout out to you guys for the lay. Listen, I want to just do a quick recap on red receipts because this is the shit and this is the beauty of it. And everyone always is like, don't play games. But fuck that. We know what color daddy is by now.

Just a quick update on red receipts. If you are talking to someone and it's in the beginning stages of you talking or even if you're just hooking up for fun and you don't really have an obligation to always hang out and, you know, you could be getting ditched on a Saturday because he chooses different plans or she chooses vice versa when the weekend comes up if you don't have your red receipts on turn them on even if it's just for the weekend yeah turn them on and I I hope you guys know that you can turn them on and off specifically just for one person yeah and then if you've had your red receipts on with someone say and the weekend is coming up turn them off yeah and they're gonna be like wait why isn't it

is she not reading these or did she turn her red receipts off and then if you answer and then your red receipts are off he's gonna be like wait what the fuck and i think a lot of times girls are like wait well what if he calls me out everyone's always so concerned that someone's gonna call them out and be like lol why are your red receipts on yeah and my answer to that is you literally make them feel so insecure and just be like lol why are you sitting over there overthinking my red receipts lmao what are you up to and send a what are you up to right after it because what are they gonna do right like it's just awkward if someone sent me that i would feel like a dumb piece of shit you'd be like oh never mind yeah i think that's so good that you pointed that out is people are worried that they're like i'm just gonna turn them on out of

nowhere and it's gonna be so transparent they're gonna know what i'm up to no no they're not i'm thinking about me personally if a guy like all of a sudden turned red receipts on i'd be like oh like he changed the setting on his phone and I would not think it was about exactly that's what you can bank on is yes you can turn them on and off with specific people but everyone out there daddy gang you are acting like you're just pressing the main button for all conversations you have them all on you've got red receipts on for everyone and then you turn them off for everyone yeah but obviously you're specifically doing them per person get in there and get finessing daddy's red receipts so i have a cheating one but it's a little bit different and it's the girls that wrote into us i don't know how many episodes ago about the guy answering the door in his boxers and would not let her into the house

and he like picked her up oh the story i told yes okay yeah so it's like a follow-up of that okay daddy can help you guys featured my cousin's story last episode about her catching her boyfriend in the act of cheating the long story and now she is asking if he talks to us and apologizes to us if we will forgive him and she could get back together with him she didn't catch him with his stupid little wiener in this girl but he had a girl over without telling her and answered the door in his boxers so she thinks it's not cheating oh my how do we get through to her? Sweetheart. Number one, he's fucking cheating. Yeah, he's cheating. This is this is full blown denial. Oh, I hate I feel bad.

I feel bad, too. OK, so it's like so first he wasn't going to tell you that there was a girl in the house, but then you found out there was a girl in the house. So now he's like, OK, she was in there, but we weren't having sex. So now you're going to believe that. Yeah, no, no, no. He was balls deep in her. And now he's going to lie until he dies. You know what, Alex?

Let's say for somehow, some way he didn't have sex with her. That is still cheating. That is still cheating. He's still in his boxers with a girl in his place. He was going to fuck her, but you just fucking came too early and ruined the party. Listen, he was lying to you. Had a girl in his house. That's cheating. The thing is, is that I would just listen do whatever you want

But my advice is The length that he went To try to make sure That you were not going to see that girl Moving forward He's right now in the stages of He will say whatever he can to get You back and then the minute that he

Gets you back All of those little lies that he's so Good at he's just going to you back and then the minute that he gets you back all of those little lies that he's so good at he's just gonna go back and doing them but he's next time he's gonna go to her place and just not be home and he's gonna be smarter about it so if i were you fuck him and move on and get a fucking better dick i mean i i understand this girl's so in love she's trying to like justify it yeah she's like oh but they didn't and it's like no they did you gotta just like at first he lied she was in there yeah and now he's lying that they didn't have sex it hurts but she's pregnant she's pregnant convince yourself that girl's pregnant and you're over him and you're

on to the next yeah you can do it daddy okay hi founding fathers so my boyfriend had left his email logged into my computer okay this really is all cheating so i stumbled upon his sex mail and found his sex mail his scent mail oh my god his scent mail and found email replies to a couple craigslist postings titled horny sexy lady wants to suck and fuck in which he asked for her snapchat and to facetime he said that this was his douchebag friend who did it. But I think he's just mad he got caught. It's also a ridiculous way to pick up bitches. What do you guys think?

I think this is way common. And girls don't understand it. I think that he absolutely was being shady and it is not his friend. 100%. We have like a couple friends actually that have told us that they found their boyfriends hiring prostitutes on Craigslist. Yeah. Have been looking for situations.

Yeah. Like just exactly like this. I was hanging out with an ex-boyfriend and one of his friends. Yeah. And we were drinking and they thought it would be fun to call up some girls that were on the back pages of Craigslist and invite them over. And they did. And the two girls showed up.

They looked nothing. No. Like the picture. Shut up. At all. Oh my God. Different people. Shut up.

But they showed up and I was just fucking having a blast. I was having taking shots with them. We were like hanging out. And then the my ex-boyfriend's friend was like okay like let's go upstairs and he like offered i think they like wanted like two thousand dollars to give him a handjob or shut the fuck up yeah so it's a thing i witnessed it firsthand i don't think he went through with it and i think he didn't go through with it because of me why because i remember i walked into the room and I was being drunk and I was acting like

they were my best friends. And I was like, girls, you need to fucking, he needs to pay you way more. Oh, you were cock blocking. Dude, I was cock blocking. Oh my God. I didn't even, I'm just remembering. I like went in the room and I was like, girls, know your worth. Oh.

$2,000. No. And like. Meanwhile, they're like, bitch, we'll take 200. We don't give a fuck. No, my boyfriend like fucking dragged me down the stairs and was like shut up shut up sofia let him get his fucking handy oh wow memories oh my god if you two girls are out there just let me know slide in slide in miss you bitch oh okay daddy gang oh my god rate us five stars if you can subscribe if you please can subscribe

and unsubscribe if you guys want to cop some merch go to barstool.com and go to shop call her daddy you guys can hook yourself up with some merch yeah you guys can get those daddy necklaces have been really really weird interactions with people And they'll wonder if you're associating yourself with a man. It's a conversation starter. It sure as hell is. Degrade me. I am unwell. Daddy. Yeah, daddy gang.

That was fun. That was a lot of fun. Every fucking Wednesday. Woo! We'll see you guys next week. Everyone go get hammered this week. Have great fucking sex. See you soon.

If you're not doing child's pose, you're not living. Yep. Bye, daddy. Spread those ass cheeks. Spread those ass cheeks. Bye, daddy. Spread those ass cheeks. Spread those ass cheeks. Bye daddy. Bye daddies.