Call Her Daddy - 55- Body Count & The Social Vulture

Episode Date: October 2, 2019

The girls discuss past sexual partners, how many is too many, and everything you've ever wondered about body count- including the EXACT number girls should tell their man. Also, they dive into the taboo topic of bad personal hygiene for women… men have been complaining about the taste/smell of their girl's clam (worst nightmare), but don't worry we have a solution! Last but not least, bringing you the social vulture. Everyone has encountered this wretched species. Tune in to find out more!

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy hello hello hello daddy daddy gang what is up it is alex and sophia back at it again let's just tell them our full names since we're shadow banned and you can't find our Instagram page. Alexandra Cooper and Sophia Franklin. Guys, what's up? How's it going? It's hump day. So Alex and I, we hung out this past weekend. We did. We hung out. We did. And we went to a show. We went to a comedy show. And when girls are getting ready to go out, men, don't shut this off. This is going to be like a three-minute fucking interlude. Yeah, and it has to do with us looking like prostitutes.

So get your boners out. Yeah, and if you hate Alex and I, you'll also enjoy this. So keep listening. So Sophia and I are trying to get ready for the night. And we didn't know what to wear, but what it really came down to was, do we wear heels or just sneakers this is one of the biggest monumental moments for a girl when she's deciding to go out because essentially think about it there's two options you go out in sneakers and then every bitch around you is

wearing heels and they look dressed to the nine so sexy and you look like a little stumpy wumpy loser yes however in turn then you have the option where you wear the heels and you show up and all the girls are chilled wearing fucking sneakers just casual and you look like a whore yep well which way do you think you look like you're trying so hard so hard so we actually we heels. We are like five minutes late for the comedy show. We are walking in and the comedian stops his fucking set and he is like, oh my God, girls, it's Amber and Brittany. Like says it into the microphone so the entire fucking audience starts bursting out laughing staring at us like these two little white girls i'm pretty sure i was wearing jean shorts too and he said look at

britney with her daisy dukes at a comedy show and i'm like okay so basically you're just saying i look like an actual whore and everyone just stared at us while we fucking sat our asses down right and it was really embarrassing well we were agonizing for hours heels or sneakers and the second we get to the show the fucking comedian stops the show so that was the first bit of the uh night yeah we downhill from there downhill our friend is friends with the comedian he's like you guys can come backstage amazing can't wait much this is this going backstage at something in general is a very slippery slope. As a woman. As a woman.

Because people are automatically looking at you and being like, groupie. Groupie. Who's the groupie? They're a groupie. Why are they back here? What do they want to do back here? Absolutely. You're a groupie.

Yeah. Who are you trying to fuck? So to have that mentality mixed with the stripper heels Alex and I were wearing. Sticking out like sore thumbs at the comedy club. We wanted to fucking die. When we were backstage, I literally was like trying to like stand in a corner, not have anybody look at me. I was so embarrassed. I was like shoving Sophia in front of me.

I'm like, no, you stand in the front. Sophia's like, no, let's go to the bathroom. Like there was no way around it. Everyone was looking at us like prostitution 101 girls in the corner. And the thing is, is we didn't know anyone either. No, we're not talking to anyone. So when you don't know anybody and then this comedian is actually married. So his fucking wife is there with all of her friends.

And then the two little hoochies that are in their 20s come strolling in. It's a fucking disaster. Guys, it was horrible. I never in my life have wished I was wearing sneakers more than that moment. I promise you for the next couple of months, you will see Sophia and I only in fucking sneakers. Oh, my God. I will wear goddamn Skechers shape up. Me too.

Before I put on my fucking heels. It was really quite embarrassing, guys. And so we just wanted to sympathize with all the girls out there that you guys like have wardrobe issues. Quickly, can we tell them, though? Ladies, there is a rule that Sophia and I always talk about that you cannot wear. The three part. The three part. Tell them.

You, because I've said this before when I was in college. I would wear enough cloth to cover my flapsit and the flaps of my vagina and like my nipples and then just like tie floss together and then go out like right i dressed ridiculous right yeah and as i've gotten older i just cover up more and more i just think it's a better look but the three-point rule the three-point rule you cannot show leg midriff and cleavage hell no you can't show all three absolutely come on it's just a little too slutty keep a little bit for the imagination yes let's just try to get it together girls especially as fall is approaching maybe don't be going clit tit and stomach do you know I mean? Let's try to reel it in and pick.

Even if you want to pick two. You start out slow. You've been slutty from the beginning. It's going to be hard for you. We don't want to give you guys culture shock. Start slow. Maybe cover up the cleavage. Oh, that's a big one.

But do the crop top in a miniskirt. There you go. There you go. So we got you, girls. We got you. Yeah. Wearing a tight, long-s long sleeve turtleneck that shows like kind of the outline of your tits goes a long way a long way i would argue that can be sexier than

you know having a low-cut shirt where there is like nothing left to the imagination and he pretty much knows what your tits look like by the end of the night and you have to like keep readjusting your shirt so that your areola doesn't like plop into your mashed potatoes an areola is a nipple for all you whores that didn't know yeah the plop into the mashed potatoes good just in case a little cream on the nipple no i agree i agree i think it's super hot to wear a tight turtleneck and then have it showing midriff yeah boom or you don't even have to alex is like and then obviously the show the stomach or you don't have to yeah or yeah so we got a big big big big boy for you today a big boy body count body count body count oh you slut your body counts above 20 you whore for those of you that don't know body count is the amount of people you've slept with the amount of people you've porked the amount of people that have porked you the amount

of bodies you've taken down what's your kill count sophia you know i would have to pull out my list oh wait guys okay so every girl probably has it or absolutely no one actually mature girls don't You know, I would have to pull out my list. Oh, wait, guys. Okay, so every girl probably has it, or absolutely no one has. Actually, mature girls don't, and immature girls, we're transitioning. Like, the list will be burned at some point, but I still do have, like, a little list. Me too. I like that you said little. I meant the paper's little, but it's filled all the way.

The entire thing is covered so this morning sophie and i were getting ready for the show we're like all right let's uh talk about our body counts so we want to tell each other our body counts i loved um actually i didn't fucking love i fucking hate going down memory lane because i look at the list and i'm like okay so san francisco guy that's really that's really what you're gonna write is San Francisco guy that's all you got Uber driver like grocery store clerk no but there I'm I have to I'm going to say this there are one or two men on there yeah that it's a description of like a location the name is not what I'm using to describe them so this morning I was talking to Sophia and I'm like telling her my body count. And I'm like, listen, this is the hard truth.

I feel like a lot of people's body counts aren't even fucking accurate. I feel like people will be like, it's really either 13 or 14. And it's like, well, why? And really, I think it's because somebody usually doesn't count a body for a reason whether it's like no it didn't fully go in or like oh my god oh he was too small like I didn't even feel it doesn't count doesn't fucking count I didn't even feel it this doesn't this sex wasn't good doesn't count I've literally personally done that in high school I was like oh no like I didn't have sex with him and it's like yeah you did right yeah you fucking know i don't know my exact number i know like the vicinity i know where the number

lives but i don't know for sure because i did have sex with someone the sex was horrible and why would i count that absolutely not guys i feel like don't really do that actually I take that back I feel like with guys I'm sure there are some guys that if they hook up with a nasty ass hoe like a two yeah just like a disgusting filthy they like paid for a back page escort they're not gonna count that it doesn't count or or if they're like blackout drunk you know how many guys are like i fucked her because i was drunk doesn't count yeah it does i agree but also i have to say men say girls lie about their body count i would argue men lie about having more bodies than they actually do so really it's quite pathetic men are really could be worse than women because they inflate their

shit they like girls lie about being lower men lie about being higher they try to heighten their fucking count we know you're not fucking slinging that book gerald the captain of mathletes just knock it off we know you're not in the 90s nine maybe nine okay that's that gerald and they're your cousins you live in fucking utah no okay when you're younger let's talk about when we're younger because i do think that when you're younger it kind of paints the pathway when you're growing up of how you look at body count because everyone's so immature yeah and there were so many like false there were myths first of all that was a yeahs. I remember that's such a good point. I remember when I was younger, when guys would be talking about a girl that had like slept

around a lot, they would be like, she has fucked so many dudes. Like her pussy is so loose. Oh, tell me that you did not. And for the longest time, I really thought that that was like the anatomy of a vagina and that it could get loose the more people you fuck. That is so true. PSA for everybody. Vaginas don't work that way.

Well, you didn't even know that till this morning. So if he was like, let me just double check and Google it. I had to double check. Dude, that is. Oh, my God. I will never forget this one girl, Sarah. I'm not going to say her last name, but Sarah at my high school. You don't even have to say her first name i feel like it just helps keep context

sarah jessica i won't say the last name um so this girl sarah at my high school i remember all the guys because she like slept around a lot all the guys would be like yeah dude fucking hurts like a hot dog in a hallway just flopping in there and the thing is is it's so immature but because of the way that guys talk to you in high school yeah you're kind of terrified to take more than like three dicks because you're like holy shit is my shit gonna be stretched out and loose poor sarah over here hot dog in the big ass fucking marble hallway all right and i remember being younger and my friends and i like one of us would be at like number nine like the ninth person and my friends would freak out and be like oh my gosh like I can't have any more

sex because then I'm gonna hit the double digits dude that's so like double digits were terrifying terrifying and why were they terrifying because there's guys out here being like wow I fucked her and it felt like a fucking it's like when you go bowling and you don't put up the guard rails it's like when you go bowling with a golf ball okay that there we go today getting creative keep going keep going so that's what what you think when you're younger so fuck that okay and you know what maybe the men i'm just gonna fucking put it out there maybe the men who are making these fucking jokes should look a little inward because maybe it's not the size of the bun that is too large maybe it's the size of the fucking wiener how did you think

about that maybe your wiener is not fitting in the normal size fucking bun maybe you're not fucking around with a full-on italian sausage maybe you got the little pigs in a blanket in hors d'oeuvre style appetizer size looking mother size on a toothpick and you're over here trying to blame it on the bun yeah that is so true you sick these analogies anyways we're talking about body count um we just lost a lot of list anyways so let me make it clear because girls care about their own body count men do not care about their own body absolutely that's such a good do you know how many friends i have that are guys and they have fucked over 100 girls and it's like what like they don't care like we've said it's a prize they're looking to get to that 100 mark it's like their life calling

it's get there by the time i die right meanwhile girls it's like double digits oh my god oh my god oh my god and we're freaking out freaking out like it's so fucked up yeah so let's talk about it though because everyone asks us body count and oh my god what do I say I think we should first set the scene of Sophia do people even ask you your body count when you start to like date them out of the past five dudes that I have seriously dated not one of them asked me my body count yeah I think that grown men that are mature not little bitch boys not little bitch boys do not ask that question guys don't want to know it's so true for the most part it's true there's exceptions to everything I'm gonna agree with you but also I did date someone that

was a little bit younger. Okay. And by younger, I mean my age. Okay. And he was a kind of like an insecure guy. And he did ask me essentially like what, how many people have you slept with? And I just think it's so rare that guys actually ask. Men don't care about your body count. They are really more concerned about your reputation. Okay. So if you are known as the class slut guys and their egos, he could be so in fucking love with you, but it's really hard for them to see past that you have this reputation of sleeping around when they're sitting there with the boys, drinking beers, talking about

girls. And he knows that everyone either knows who has railed you or they have also personally railed you. It's hard for men to get past that. But if you are able to essentially keep your slutty nature more on the down low, then he really isn't going to give a fuck. That's a guy's dream. Literally, if you have fucked 50 guys, if you've kept it on the low, so no one really knows, he's one, not going to usually ask your body count. And two, if he does fucking lie. Yeah. So as long as you can keep your reputation intact, a man really won't give a fuck about

what your, your number is. Yeah. I totally agree. I think it's all about reputation, but this is kind of like what your number translates to guys. Okay. Everyone kind of assumes that men want a girl to have a low body count. Right.

That is not necessarily the truth. True. Because if a girl has a super low body count, I think sometimes men assume then sex is super important to her. And like she takes sex so seriously. And then he's like, well, fuck. If I have sex with her, then she's going to take it super seriously. And then she's going to be a stage have sex with her then she's gonna take it super seriously and then she's gonna be a stage five clinger and turn into a stalker and then i'm

gonna freak the fuck out and you're gonna be latched to her yeah so guys like assume that the girl is gonna become obsessed i think that's a really good point there's like pros and cons to high body counts and low body counts for girls i asked milf hunter actually what is your ideal body count if you had to ask a girl and he said it all depends on age and relationship history oh yeah so if he said if you are 22 or above that generally means that you're like out of college it's natural and regular to have double digit bodies we're adults there's nothing wrong with sex but if I am dating her i have to admit that i would really prefer less than 14 bodies because he gave us an actual number which i thought was interesting and he said men have the worst double standard when it comes to women men will think oh she got fucked by john where a

strong-minded woman's gonna be like no no i fucked john a guy is like i i fucked this many girls and the girl is like i've been fucked right and it's like no i have fucked this many guys so he did say though here's the kicker he said if she says that she's fucked like two guys he said she's either ugly super religious or been dating the same guy since middle school or lying right okay we're lying well that's the thing yeah why are we why do people get so crazy about body count when it's kind of the easiest fucking thing to lie about lie in the whole world lie about it lie and according to milf hunter for less than 14 so go with i would i was gonna say i would say between 8 and like 13 14 i mean let's be honest because i know that there are probably girls listening that have in their mind because there is no such thing as high or low body count

depends who you fucking ask but in their mind they're like oh my god like mine is so high or they have one way higher than their friends do not for a second feel bad about it girls no there is nothing to feel bad about it's part of human nature to want to have sex you should not feel shame about wanting to have sex i'm glad you brought that up because as much as we joke i really want to emphasize to girls that sometimes what it really just comes down to is you're dealing with a little bitch boy that's stunted by societal norms oh when really every girl should just be proud of your fucking body count just like men are okay we're throwing around numbers there we go i mean come on the point is is like we're throwing around numbers like oh eight and thirteen no girls

we're just saying those are the numbers that will shut men the fuck up yes they're gonna ask and you know what i'm gonna give you every right absolutely to lie because because these guys are being so hypocritical yes for them they can do as many as they want but they want their little literally flower petunia to not be more than eight and actually fuck off i'm just gonna lie so everyone just fucking lie about your body count um so we've established that guys don't really ask nope at least older guys you know do girls ask guys because as a woman and i am so ashamed to say this and i will change my way no you won't but just say it i've asked that question i have definitely asked boyfriends what their body count is i have two and the thing is in hopes that he asks back and he never does you're like why don't you care i'm like so do you want to know mine he's like no

no are you sure he's like don't and then i'm over here like is it 72 girls or 72 and a half or is it 73 you can round up it's so true i think i know we always generalize but i'm not going to speak for every woman in america but i knew the two people in this fucking studio sofia and i were talking about it and i think we have like really big issues we all know that already but one of the issues is I like if I know that the guy I'm talking to has fucked like a specific girl uh-huh I have this sick thing where I love to pry and I want to know everything and it starts with like the body count starts and then it goes from there it like snowballs it snowballs and you want to know how she fucks dude I was with this guy the other day that i'm dating and i i'm pretty sure i ended

up asking him about his ex-girlfriend and the size of her clit yep you texted me and then i asked the guy i was the size of his ex-girlfriend's clitoris not her tip okay not her ass and he was like you're crazy i'm like i will go get a bean from the kitchen a pea a quarter and a grain of salt and a grapefruit and you can fucking point point to whichever one you think it is sofia is texting me as i'm with the guy that's in town and she's like i just asked him what her clit size was i'm like that is such a good idea and i turned to my guy i'm like do you remember the vegas's in town and she's like, I just asked him what her clit size was. I'm like, that is such a good idea. And I turned to my guy. I'm like, do you remember the Vegas girl that you used to fuck like consistently?

Can you just tell me the size of her clit? And was it on the smaller side or fatter? And do you like fatter or do you like smaller clits? And I need to know. And what would you consider mine? And they're like, what is wrong with you? We're not even asking if she was tight. We're not even asking like if her flaps were long.

It's the clit size and the size and be specific and descriptive the thing is is we're saying body count doesn't matter again i don't really give a fuck what my guy's body count is i just ask him to torment him right i don't really care what it is no it's fun i don't know i i mean girls i think a lot of girls like i already know two girls on the top of my head that are my friends that would never fucking ask a guy this me too so i do think we have problems yeah but i do i don't know i get off on like asking guys about their sexual past i think it makes them really uncomfortable it's me being a total masochist i already know yeah and i want it to hurt i want it to hurt me i want to start crying and that's that

what is wrong with us? I don't know. Why do we do that? Yeah. I don't know, girls. Let us know. Okay. You think that you want the guy to have a low body count. You're like, I don't want to be dating no man whore.

No, no. Like, STDs, blah, blah, blah. Right, right. In reality, though, maybe it's in your subconscious and you've never really realized this but you want your guy to have a somewhat average or above average body count you really do oh my god i would i would argue above average yeah yeah okay and people are like what are you talking about it's so true this is a perfect example go for it i was talking to this guy he was super super nice like really successful he was like a

total nerd yeah totally fine totally fine i love a nerd situation love it and i was kind of into it kind of not like he just seemed a little bit boring yeah and um one night we were talking and i was like literally strategizing my exit plan like this how do i get rid of them yeah like i'm just kind of on a different page right you know different pathway yes different pathway and we start talking and slowly it starts to come out he has fucked a shit ton of girls, like over a hundred girls. And I'm like, wait, what? And I'm like, what? Where did this come from?

And you know what? And you know what? I ended up wanting to fuck him so badly. And I stayed there the whole night. And I was like, I am so intrigued now. And I want to have sex with this person. That is so beautiful. It is so beautiful it is so beautiful it is the thing

is is and i know it sounds fucked up but it truly is so much hotter knowing that this guy gets pussy and he fucks and now you're the chosen fuck and knowing that he's a wanted entity in the social fucking world and he's had his time and girls have wanted to fuck him and now he's with you there's something sickly attractive about that i think there's multiple things i think yes it shows that he is wanted right and then i think people assume that the higher the body count right like the more um skilled they'll be in the bedroom which is not true no it's not but you just kind of automatically think that so i'm sitting here being like oh is this guy like a sex god does he have that good dick yeah he's done it over a hundred million times right no and then there's

this sick part of me that likes the challenge absolutely and i'm like okay i want to set myself apart from these broads let's fucking get into the bedroom. Yeah, you got to have like a competition here. It's like, yeah, that sounds really fucked up. It's so immature. But no, but it's true. It's like, oh, he's fucked so many girls. I want to be the best.

Girls always love the fuck boy. It's like similar to that. It is. You kind of want to know that he has a fuck boy past. And a fuck boy dick. Yeah. And you're like, ew, he's disgusting. What a fuck boy. But low key, savage. I want you inside of me. fuck boy dick yeah and you're like oh he's disgusting what a fuck boy but low on that low

low savage i want you inside of me yeah it's true i want to go back to the point you made though we can wrap it up here the body count doesn't always mean good in bed and i think that was such a good point because there are so many girls that may have only had sex with two guys and yes some guys are going to be freaked out by it but imagine if that girl one of the guys that she dated was the biggest fucking freak and taught her so much and therefore let's say fucking shannon over here is going to be a way better bitch in bed as opposed to fucking francesca who's the class slut that has like a hundred bodies right all average sex quality and then quality quality versus quantity like true girls if you want to run around and spread those legs and just fucking squirt all over every dick you come across absolutely bounce around do it yes bounce from

dick to dick have him fucking bounce you on someone else's. I totally support you. But if you're looking for quality, quality sex, I know for me personally, I need to like do it with the same person multiple times. The more comfortable you get with someone, you're going to learn how to come with them and then you're coming every time. And then you're going to come while you're doing a handstand. And then you're going to come while you're on the fucking shower head while he's banging you in your butthole. Like those are the little tears up that you get when you have more

consistent sex with someone yeah do you know what i mean so it feels like right right you lost me a little bit like on the shower head butthole right right but you got where i was going people just need to stop even talking about body count yeah we're we're done. Because honestly, it's like you can either lie. Yep. It does not stretch out your pussy as I found out this morning, the anatomy of a vagina. Rock the world. And it does not make you better in bed. No.

Exactly like what you said. If you had one sexual partner who was a total freak. Yeah. And they taught you all their shit. You can now be a freak. Literally. You can be the biggest freak. Just because of that one leg.

That's such a good point. So guys, body count guys we're not talking about it we're done and if you ask anyone what their body count is unless it's your friend yes then you're a fucking loser and if you ask your boyfriend because you just need to know he's lying to you he's lying to you and if you ask your girlfriend she's lying to you she's lying boom great great we're all liars here. If you want to hear a lie, then go for it. Ask away. Fucking pussies. Okay. So I, just bear with me on this intro here. I am watching the show Entourage right now. Rewatching it.

Okay? Okay. And there was an episode that really sparked something in me. Let's tell them what Entourage is. Oh, Entourage is a show. It's actually based on mark walberg's life which i didn't know until recently which is cool it's like his young life in hollywood so essentially entourage is about this one guy vince and he is an a-list celebrity

movie star okay so i'm watching in one of the episodes they are at the club and all of vince's friends that live with him are like yo like come back we're going back to vince's house like we're going back telling all the girls telling all the girls and they're pulling tens and a lot and these guys are actually like fours yeah except Vince is a ten yes oh my god he's classic so hot oh my god he's so hot so they go back to this mansion and they're partying and they're all hanging out and they're in the pool and turtle that's like his nickname is one of the vince's friends not good looking and he's talking to this hot ass blonde bitch and he looks at her and he's like come on like let me get a little make out and the blonde looks at him and he she was like turtle i'm just gonna be honest with you maybe but i'm waiting for vince first if i can fuck vince i'm gonna fuck vince and turtle

looks at the girl and is like sweetheart sweetheart, Vince just left with two other blondes 30 minutes ago. And if you want to stay at the house, I'm your only option now. And she literally looks at them and she's like, oh, fine. And starts making out with fucking Turtle. So you're all like, OK, Alex, I'm glad you're enjoying fucking Entourage. What is the fucking point? Can you actually start from season one?

So in the first episode one 10 minutes in no the point of the story is that these guys vince's friends right reminded me of this culture in real life that applies to real life and i'm gonna call them the male social vultures and essentially they're dick riders on their successful friend so an entourage first of all i love how turtle does not mind a pity right right right how would you feel if there if you were sitting next to a guy and you like wanted to hook up with him and he's like i'm waiting oh my god i'm really just waiting for alex but like i guess i'll fuck you i would be like get out of my house turtles like thank you men obviously the pussy is the put true except for the fact also though that like turtle would never get that girl in the first place that's what it is i know exactly i'm so glad we're talking about this me too it's so you have

the main guy yep the main and he has a ton of status. Yep. And all of the girls flock to him and are obsessed with him. And he will always, without fail, have a friend that is the vulture. And the friend has like a status by association of the main guy. Yes. And the friend is literally the path you have to take to get to the main guy dude the vulture is riding the main guy's dick so hard he's like so hard so hard harder than any fucking bitch would ever ride a dick usually totally dude and also usually the vulture doesn't really have like a career isn't successful in its own right sometimes they don't even have fucking jobs because he is living all of the perks of the guy with all of the status without having

to do shit dude it's so true and the thing the thing is there then is a scale yeah of the vulture and how creepy the vulture is but the issue is that most of the time regardless of how fucking creepy yeah girls are gonna hate the vulture yeah but you know you need to be so goddamn nice to this fucking vulture and maybe throw in a little fucking flirtatious manner because he essentially is the way that you're gonna get to the mains fucking party after party think of it this way the main guy is the castle oh and you're the dirty the vulture is the moat like around the castle and you need to get across this fucking boat to get to the main guy it's so fucking true i had okay i had a specific situation in college when i was in college i was talking to a guy i've mentioned him in the past he was older than me successful and he would party a lot and the guy would get so black out and essentially

let his vulture really make all the calls about who got to come to the after party and the vulture would go around similar to entourage and he would go to girls saying like hey come back to the rich guy's place like literally legit pimping out this guy's name in order to get these girls to come with him right almost acting like his fucking manager right and it's so terrifying i was gonna say that the vulture is like the main guy's like babysitter slash assistant and also like his his talking piece yeah like the main guy just sits there and usually has like a couple main girls on his arm while the other girls that are like yes the lower class system in order to get to the cast in this story i'm like pay attention to me so i'm flirting with the fucking vulture here's the thing girls

and i know this is such a random topic but i feel like it's so fucking relatable so many people just think right now who the vulture is in that fucking crew. Because, yeah, we're talking about maybe like rich-ass guys or professional athletes or actors, but this is the same in like college when you've got the fucking hot football kid and then his like annoying loser-ass friend. Right. That's like, yo, I know Vince. And they like entrust the friend so much that they let the friend call all the shots. Yes.

Yes. This is the thing i want to say the point of me bringing up entourage was girls you have to have a very specific tactic when it comes to the vulture yeah because you can really fuck yourself or you can really help yourself do not under any circumstance fuck the vulture do not fuck the vulture once you fuck the vulture you are not fuck the vulture. Once you fuck the vulture, you are literally road beef. You are. No, you are roadkill. Isn't that what vultures go after?

Oh my God. That was a good one. Yeah. Once he fucks you, there is good. There is an end point. Your guys are not getting married. So once he eventually decides he's done fucking you, then you no longer are getting invited at all yeah because

you're out yes completely out also if the main guy finds out that you fuck the vulture oh yeah you're gonna be dead to the main guy too so you fucking the vulture is really fucking your chances of not even the main guy but just getting invited to the fucking parties but but it is a delicate dance because if the vulture is under the impression that you will never fuck him, then you're not getting invited to shit. Absolutely not. So it's like this delicate dance. You have to flirt with a vulture enough and let him think that potentially one night you might have, you know, two tequilas more than you should have. And you might fuck him.

Yes. You know but i do think this is you're right you have to flirt but if you flirt so hard that all of your attention is on him all night and then at the end of the night you don't fuck him he's gonna look at you like you're a fucking tease so what you gotta do is you gotta do the little flirts and then all of a sudden when he's getting a little too comfortable you shove fucking becky in front of you and you run the other way and go get yourself a drink yeah keep it light flirting make him be interested but don't be the main for the vulture yes and kind of play up like the friend like you're the girl that's so cool you're gonna be so friendly you're

gonna bring hot girls like you can kind of play that and throw in your essentially metaphorically you need to slightly suck and tickle this guy's dick but don't actually suck and tickle his dick oh my god okay i this is just so it's so funny i remember because i saw this not that long ago i knew this guy you know him too he was like a billionaire billionaire with a b and i remember I like went to this table once and his friend, the billionaire's friend, the billionaire's sitting there with like seven girls like fanning him with fucking palm tree leaves. And the vulture's like-

And feeding him grapes, you know? Right, right. And then the vulture, he was the most disgusting gremlin. Like he had like a sweating problem. So gross. And I find myself low-key flirting with him hoping that i get invited back to the party and it was your only way oh my god and he's so creepy you can see it you literally see it it's like the main the billionaire

guy will take up whatever girl he wants right or maybe two girls who knows whatever he's into yeah he takes them up and you see the vulture and he's just in the corner salivating and he's like what roadkill what girls didn't make it upstairs that i can somehow tackle down steady at first the vulture begins to seek out his prey he flies down to swoop on the prey and have the carcass for dinner. What are you doing? Like Animal Planet. The vulture.

That's literally what it sounds like we're saying. The vulture cannot be stopped. In the savanns of africa the wild gazelle gets away but literally the girls in the party are scurrying it's disgusting he's like sitting in the corner smiling all the girls are like god damn it they're like fuck no fuck and usually one person ends up fucking him yeah and then they hate their life for the rest of the time the moral of the story also the guy that's always like drink more have another drink you need a shot here's the line you're like that's so true i just had a

revelation actually the vulture the vulture is the only person who doesn't know he's the vulture. Like every single person around him knows. Including the main. Including the main. Because you know what happens? All of the girls go up to the main and they are like, your friend is so creepy. Like he scares me. And you know what happens every time?

The main makes excuses for him right he's always like you know he just he means well and like no he's trying like it's fine and it's like no the vulture's fucking creepy and meanwhile the vulture the vulture has no idea he has no clue i aspire to have the blind confidence that the vulture has. Well, I think that's such a good point because the vulture essentially doesn't know he's the vulture because all these bitches are faking it till they make it with him. Like, we all know we're talking behind closed doors. You just fucking said it yourself, Sophia.

You flirted with the goddamn vulture once. I did too. And so it's like, he has no idea. How would he know? These fucking tens are giving him attention i think he would maybe know because he's literally just dick writing his friend but like he's blind i mean he's naive dude that's such a good point fucking victor the vulture victor the vulture victor the Vulture has now landed. Oh.

Oh. Dude, we have a career here. We do. The thing is also, and I was just thinking as we're talking about fucking Animal Planet, the girls, as the night goes on and it gets like later into the night and it's kind of like, ooh, who is he going to end up with? Yeah. The more the girls start to get cold feet and scared because it's like, oh shit, it's about to go down

like he's gonna try to pick one of us right and it's like it's like when the lights turn on and mice like squirm and run to each corner of the room like under the couch you're like scurrying away as fast as they can they see the vulture on the move when the main leaves and they're like oh it's going down totally scurry scurry it's sad that's the perfect way to explain it the mice scurry and oh my god they're all like oh my god emergency hurry run run go find a place to hide and then like the last one that like trips on her heel is the one that he like grabs and he's like want to come get a drink and she's like not real she's like fine wow yeah what i do want to say to end this be aware to avoid any genuine investment with these

kind of groups because the main guy if he has a guy like that those are kind of shitty people and you're never going to actually have a stable situation with those kind of people i tried and i end up hooking up with the main and eventually the vulture got too upset that the main was kind of getting booed up by me and he flung me so far catapulted me so down boston commons and was like get the fuck away from the main that's that's the scary thing is the vultures kind of have the main as a puppet and they like pull the strings to how the main is going to behave and if the main has a girlfriend then the vulture is not getting these groups of women vulture and the girlfriend are like no i'm gonna pull the strings and they yeah oh my god what a power struggle

over the main the vulture and the main and the girl and they're like are they talking about animal planet but you you guys get what we're saying interesting i don't know fuck the vultures i made no sense but not literally men have been writing in and i know this is like a female's worst fucking fear literally worst worst fear i know i've worried about like i'm tearing up right now yes i'm shaking shivering me too people are like stds we're like no no no guys there have been a few guys writing in being like i love my girl so much she is so sexy but i cannot deal with the taste and or smell of her pussy moment of silence it hurts because all girls get so self-conscious about this dude Dude, that.

Oh, my God. I want to cry for every girl that has a smelly pussy or bad tasting. First of all, I want to say there are probably some bitch boys that just don't even know how a pussy is supposed to taste or smell. And they can just go shut the fuck up. Yeah. All vaginas are going to have a taste or smell. Of course. That's just how it is.

Of course. Learn to love it. however however there are times there's some bad fish in the sea i wasn't gonna make the fish comparison here we are but here we are there are times when there's something actually wrong yeah okay yeah and i'm not talking like you haven't showered you're kind of sweaty i'm not talking about like you underwear the same underwear two days in a row or like you have like leftover over like other semen on there and he's wondering why like kind of tastes like his own ship. Like, you know what I mean?

Yes. Or like it's before or after your period and you still have like there are just natural right. But there are times and i have had this happen before where i fucking know no that something is wrong absolutely and clearly according to our goddamn research from the male daddy yes many women don't know yes when they write in every time i read sophia this question it will be a guy being like hey my girl's pussy smells like i don't know what to do sophia freaks out because she's like how the fuck do you not know if your vagina smells right

I don't know if these girls are just in denial or if they're really really tall and their faces are very far away from their vaginas cold for the past two years they can't knock yes but I know when there's something off and like i need to see a doctor men yeah the reason we're bringing this up is because we're going to try to help you because guys are like what the fuck do i do how imagine if a guy was like yo i'm sorry i can't eat you out your pussy fucking tastes horrible i know i would die i would really not be well for the next couple months of my life and then and then the girl is gonna be freaking out forever ever so so this is gonna really piss some people off and i don't care i love i actually brought this up at a dinner you know i brought this up and i was talking about it and this girl was like

ew don't tell girls to do that that's disrespectful men shouldn't do that and i was like um shut the fuck up bitch it's going on my podcast tomorrow morning you fucking rancid pussy ass bitch you're the smelly pussy bitch fucking bumblebee tuna what i don't care i think this is i think this is a perfect way to let a girl know that things are not smelling or tasting great down there without saying it to her face make her taste herself oh my god i it sounds fucked up but it's a way that you can pretend that you guys are just being kinky yep and you can shove your feet you can finger her and then put those exact same fingers in her mouth around her nostril and let her know what's up and you look at her you go you like how that tastes you like that

yes yes usually you say it in a sexy way this time it might be a little bit more like, do you enjoy that? And do you think I would? Because if you don't, why would I, right? Do you not think that this is brilliant? Sweetheart, this is one of the most intellectual moments you've had on Call Her Daddy. And I'm here for it and I respect it. Thank you. And I'm very proud of you.

Thank you. I love it. I think that sometimes girls, the reason they're not taking care of it is because they don't know. And the reason they don't know is because they are very separated from their vaginas i think that's so fucking smart a guy to slap them around with the pussy juice on their fingers and be like drink that if for some reason you're dealing with a girl that isn't a complete kinky freak and she doesn't necessarily like want to taste herself and like doesn't listen to call her daddy right right right like the girl i was at dinner with right that kind of girl then

if you go down on her directly like within seconds go and make out with her shove your tongue down her throat yeah kiss her because girls look at you kissing them way cuter than you shoving the fingers down absolutely maybe she's like oh he's coming up to like let me know that he loves me and then all of a sudden she's gonna have to taste herself that way taste that raw melted out for five day tuna fish you should every time you're eating her out be telling her how good that she tastes like literally every time you're eating it so that will help you when it doesn't smell as good or it tastes or doesn't taste as good. All of a sudden she's not getting that verbal reassurance you're usually giving her.

And that is a polite way of kind of communicating to her and letting her connect the dots. Like, wait, why the fuck is he not like, babe, you taste so good. What's different today? Listen, nobody's dick and pussy is going to smell good 24-7, 365 days of the year. It just doesn't fucking happen. No. But I really do think while we're shitting on women, men can be just as fucking bad. Oh my God.

We're not going to give them. I mean, we're not talking about it. We can talk about another episode. But some men don't even wash their balls. They don't groom themselves. And bitches end up coming off their dick from giving them blowjob and they're pulling goddamn lint out of their mouth. Oh my God. That how do you shower yeah it's really gross i mean girls have written in being like i want to give my man head but his dick smells like fucking trash also

if you are comfortable just ask the guy oh because i've been especially like with boyfriends i've straight up asked them like um are we doing okay down there yeah girls you know if you're comfortable i don't think it's like that bad totally and so you would say what would you say just give girls a line sometimes i would just be like oh my gosh i think things have been a little bit off lately like double check let me know i wouldn't say it like that i would put your scoop of your honor let me know i wouldn't say it like that let me know when you come back up no i know what you mean so no i've done that before with the guy that i'm dating like if i was just had like my period or something and i'm like oh if he's trying to go down to me i'm like babe like i don't know like i don't know and he's just gonna be like it's fine i'm like okay like

let me know though yes i have like i've done that too when I do like the cutesy thing. Like innocent. I just don't. But the problem with doing the cutesy thing sometimes is then they're scared to tell you. They don't want to come back up and break your heart. It's not right, baby.

We got a big code red. Code red, baby. All right. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. The particular. Woo. Woo. Let's get into it. Here's one for you. This is actually not a question, but I have to read it off the bat.

Daddies, do I have a story for you? It starts with a little something called Bluetooth cheater. A way to find your boyfriend is cheating on you. My boyfriend and I recently took a long road trip and I had him connect his phone to the Bluetooth in my car. When we got back from our trip, his phone was still on my Bluetooth app. So I decided to use it to my advantage. I had suspicion that he was cheating. So I told him I was out with the girls, but instead I sat outside of his house in my car that he was cheating so I told him I was out with the girls but instead I sat outside of his house in my car when he was home and I proceeded to connect his phone to my bluetooth

so I could see every phone call and text he received boom he was texting three other girls anyways love you girls hope you can share with everyone else because the bluetooth is easy to catch these fucking cheaters wait wait wait so she dropped him off and then just like stayed near his house so the phone was still connected yeah so essentially his phone was connected in the first place and now she just drove up to his house connected it boom i mean dude i was scared because like i'm connected to my dad's bluetooth on his car and like god forbid alex is sending some nasty shit, some nudies that dude. Now I won't even be able to help myself.

No, no, I don't even have a choice. Yeah, you got to be still connected. Like I'm going to sit there for seven hours. Every fucking girlfriend or boyfriend. If you want to catch a cheater, you connect to the goddamn Bluetooth. And that's just the fact. And that's just the tea. And that's what you're going to do.

There's something so luxurious and amazing about being able to look at what he's doing on his phone without having the pressure of time, without having father time. Because you know if you're stealing his phone and quickly putting in his password while he's in the bathroom, you don't have time. You got to, this way you got to relax. Lock the doors, recline the seat seat put your sunnies on and go to town like get some snacks at the gas station and chill wow good for you girl thanks for that okay is it bad to get mad at your boyfriend for something he did a long time ago

sometimes i'll just remember what he did and either just give the silent treatment to him or pick a fight and it always comes back into the fight dude that is so fucking funny and it's so us it's so it's a disease it's so me so funny i'm telling you i sophia has bad problems with this so bad i do it too but i think you're worse if i am not keeping myself busy if i have like 30 minutes to myself to sit at home i'm like wait i need to start something i need drama somehow some way do you remember that sunday when you didn't come home for two hours what were you doing he's like he's like oh like last sunday i'm like no sunday of 2017 i'm like you know this sunday of 2017 and he know the Sunday of 2017.

And he's like, baby. And you're like, just answer the question. And then all of a sudden he's like, I don't know. And then you're like, so you were cheating on me. And all of a sudden it turns into a fight. It's honestly my favorite pastime. I don't know if girls are as crazy as us, but I have had multiple dudes write in and be like, um, just so you know know like that's not gonna work forever and

like guys are gonna leave you i've never had a guy leave me because of the crazy ever never it pisses them off but then there's this sick attachment that they have with you that they get addicted to it and it fucking works like a charm and you should bring up those fights all the fucking goddamn time and quite frankly when you see a girl getting crazy and she gets that little glisten in her eyes and her eyes kind of like roll to the back of her head you kind of get aroused it gets a little hard men get a little bit aroused when they see their girl acting psycho absolutely so so girlfriend i would keep doing what you're doing and if you're asking if it's normal i don't know if it's normal but I don't know if it's normal, but the two of us do

it. So you're, you got two people in the world that do what you do and it works. So keep it up. Great work. Great, great work. Great work. Ooh. Okay.

The guy that I've been fucking for almost a year doesn't make out with me anymore when we have sex. When I brought it up to him, he he said that sounds like we're dating I don't know what to really do because making out turns me on so much and it's a big step for me to obviously engage in the nasty I don't like fucking other people because I've gotten so comfortable with him so essentially they're not fully like boyfriend girlfriend but they're like consistently hooking up and now the guy that she's been fucking for over a year just won't even kiss her and he's like ew like and she brought it up and he's like we're not dating yeah um i think that's so fucking weird i can't i think it's the weirdest fucking thing and i've

heard this before i remember my college roommate her boyfriend in college would not make out with her ever unless they were about to have sex which is the op i know that's okay yeah i'm just like i know kissing is a little bit more of like an emotional thing well in the movie pretty woman she's an escort she's a prostitute right and she like has a rule she's like she'll fuck guys but like won't kiss them right and i totally get that savage love that some people think it's like an emotional thing but i do think it's kind of weird if he like started by kissing you and now he doesn't kiss you anymore i think that's kind of fucking weird maybe i think you know i guess men don't need it as much but i know personally i need oh my god a make out i would stop fucking someone if they wouldn't kiss me right as part of foreplay i

would be able to so i would almost make that clear to him like listen i'm sorry or i would be like i'm sorry and i don't mean to like burst your bubble this has nothing to do with us dating or emotions or anything in order for my vagina to get fucking wet i need you to turn me on and start making out with me and slowly ease into fucking i need some foreplay i can't just get fucking hard and stick it in something so making out is foreplay similar to you fingering me put your fucking tongue down my throat be like don't flatter yourself literally don't flatter i don't have any fucking attachment towards you i want to get wet right i want to get off me to be wet yeah i want to oh yeah i want to fucking come and if he started by making out

with her and his slowly started to stop i feel like he's you know maybe slowly starting to see you as more and more of a hole yes i probably shouldn't say that but it's true it's kind of true and then you just decide if you can still get off yeah and not make out then stay with him but if not get rid of him yes okay this is so funny because this is so me and i think it could be you okay listen to Listen to this. Am I the only person, no sweetheart because I'm attesting, who will straight up lie about my, let's say,

nine to five work schedule so I can get myself A plus ready before a dick appointment. I've been hooking up with this guy and he's always down to hook up when I'm off work, but I will straight up lie and say I get off work at seven

when I really get off at five. So I have two hours after work to go home and get ready for that dick. Last week he told me, I wanted to take you to a hockey game, but I know you work until seven on Tuesdays. I get off at four on Tuesdays. Ha ha. Is this actually self-sabotage or normal? That's my favorite thing in the world.

I have done this. Have you done this? I have done this so many times we've done it together oh we've done it together my favorite is you tell them the flight is landing like an hour later than it actually lands so you go into the bathroom you get fully ready and you're like hi babe like i just landed you've been landed for an hour you did your entire you beat the fuck out of your face. That's why when the guy is like, can you just send me the flight info? I'm like, I landed this time. Don't worry. Literally. Dude, I forgot we did that one time we went to LA and we literally did the whole thing, but

I listen, there were going to be these really hot guys that were going to pick us up. And we were like, we get in it. We get we get in at seven really we got in at four but we had to exfoliate our face on the planes we had no makeup on and we needed to get it ready so girlfriend i don't think it's self-sabotage i think it's self-care and you're understanding the best way to go about looking like a fucking 10 when you meet him i think it's so funny it's like you know you shouldn't lie but you can lie about this that's that's fine the thing is you got to keep your lies straight yeah because i have done that and been like i got off work at three and he's like you told me you got off at seven you're like i have to be like

why i did well i met yeah this poor girl's like i'm missing out on the hockey game when you start doing little white lies like this you you gotta build up yeah yeah you do keep in little notes on your phone just remember your top line no no just be more on top of your lies this guy wrote in what is your take on socks and sandals also what's with these clowns and the kodak pose call me out okay so i don't know what the kodak pose is but socks and sandals what do you fucking think our answer is what do you think i would rather rather nope alex you don't even know what i'm gonna say okay if a guy's wearing basketball shorts and slides okay like the daddy gang right yeah i would rather him wear that with socks me too actually i agree then i just don't think men need to show their toes no their toes are like actually hideous disgusting repulsive never need to see them breathe them no no i'm

never they should never be showing however is he talking about like the birkenstocks with like the fucking belt buckle but still socks would be better i agree with you girls no but i do think that if he's wearing now let's say cargo shorts and a little Birkenstock action with some fucking white socks, cap socks, the khaki pants. That's what you're trying to talk about. Alec, it's khaki pants season. And I know all of you are whipping them back out. Knock it off.

Old Navy gap. It's making a return and I'm not here and I'm not going to have it. However, I would prefer you don't do Birkenstocks. I think the slides are honestly fine. What the fuck else is a guy going to wear other than sneakers? Like if he's just hanging out, I don't really care. It's Justin Bieber does all the time. I would suck Justin Bieber's dick.

Maybe I'll suck yours. But like I wouldn't make it like that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't do it all the time. Yeah. This girl. She has a thread she has wrote us multiple times okay the last thing she wrote a couple months ago was one time i farted during sex and played it off as a quiff a quiffer she meant queef even though clearly it wasn't and

we both knew it because it stank like egg okay so you know we tell them to play it off like it's a queen if it's gonna straight up smell but that wasn't even when i was gonna bring it up it smelled like eggs oh this girl also wrote a couple months later hey daddy how do i tell my boyfriend he's got the clap the clap is chlamydia i like whatever whoever this is you are slinging that good whoa how do you tell him you got the clap so there's a very easy way what are you saying go for it you make him a smoothie and put the pill in the smoothie yep drink he doesn't even need to fucking know. He's like, baby, why are you being such a homemaker today?

You're like, I love you so much. Or are you straight up, if you want to actually tell him, you just clap in front of his face and he's like, what are you doing? And you're like, tell me what I'm doing. And he's like, you're clapping. And you're like, I'm clapping and you're clapping and you've got the clap and let's go get our medicine. Okay, so that's like a 16-year-old would do.

That's honestly the best way to do it. No, I think the smoothie way. Trick them. The smoothie way, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have sex for like a certain amount of time. So then all of a sudden you fake that you have a yeast infection. Yeah. Sorry, babe.

I'm out for the count. Yeast infection, too much sex. Ugh, gotta love it. That good dick. Also, drink your smoothie. I'll see you in a week or if you want him to know that he has it you're gonna be like i can't believe you did this to me this is the worst and he's like i was a virgin before i met you and you're like no you weren't immaculate conception immaculate clap conception honestly this is truly and this is fucked up because i've never fucked anyone else so and you're always in the wrong

so shut the fuck up so be quiet oh my god daddy what a good last halloween costume guys halloween costumes are coming and when i tell you that every man is going to want to bang the alex and sophia at the party it was kind of funny alex and i were talking about them and I'm like, if you want to go as a threesome, just fucking wear these. Alex, Sophia, you go with a guy, you guys are a threesome. Guys, also,

we apologize for them taking so long. The point was is that Sophia and I were coming out with these little slutty dresses and they gave them to us and Sophia and I tried them on and we're like, not slutty enough.

We're like, we need the ass hanging out, the tits hanging out. and if you have the right angle and a man's kind of sitting down he could potentially get a whiff of the clit yeah so we wanted to shorten them and so we shorten the dresses so they're coming out soon don't worry but that is it for this wednesday that's it daddies um leave us a five-star review subscribe unsubscribe subscribe again go follow us on instagram alexandra cooper and sophia with an f franklin with a y i would say follow us on call her daddy but you may not find that page on instagram guys we love you so much get after it this weekend i hope you guys are going to have some good sex all right daddies we love you so

much we will see you next week. Call her daddy.