Call Her Daddy - 58- The Daddy Hotline (2)

Episode Date: October 23, 2019

Covering everything from ‘how to fuck your professor' to ‘moving on from a fuckbuddy', the girls are giving us a good mix of crazy and healthy in this week's episode! They are also getting a little personal this week, as they share their worst date experiences and throw some shade at a shared nemesis of theirs (cough cough you know who you are!). Last but not least, the fathers are providing a solution to your Instagram stalking dilemma. They may have taken away the following page, but the crazy will always prevail! 

Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy? Call her daddy. Hello everybody! Hello daddies, it's the fathers. Welcome back to another episodica of Call Her Daddy. What's your name? My name is Alexandra Cooper, what's your name? name is alexandra cooper what's your name my name

is sophia franklin nice to meet you little stunning hoe yes we're back at it again for another episode baby we are back guys oh how are you feeling i'm feeling good i literally just got over my hangover oh okay i was gonna say that i feel like for the past couple weeks i've been doing raging a little blow a little too much partying partying and and i think it's really taking a toll on my body and i'm just not where i need to be yeah yeah i totally but today i am feeling a little hungover but sometimes i say some crazy shit when I'm hungover this past weekend I did something um blow no stop saying that I was on acid this past weekend really having an amazing trip um no so Sophia and I went to our old roommate's birthday party shout out Lauren shout out happy birthday bitch it was so fun it was really fun and then

one of us had a little bit more fun than the other alex and i towards the end of the night we went our separate ways and i went towards a penis and you know research purposes yes so i there was a guy in town why is the guy always in town why can't he be a local like those travelers so they leave I can like be like bye and then I never see them vagabonds so I left I was very fucked up I decided I needed that dick that good dick so I go to this guy's hotel and I had sex I think it was great that's one of those where you're like oh okay hoping to god it was good hope my body looks good because i was pretty drunk yeah so in the morning you know i just want to get the fuck out oh my god we always talk about it it's like you wake up

and the desperation just comes over you how the fuck do i get out of here as fast as possible and undetected you're like i don't want to have a conversation like you almost hope he doesn't wake up yes so i'm trying to get out of the hotel i'm grabbing my clothes and i am like okay bye because he was like kind of awake and i leave i realize as i'm waiting for the elevator i forgot my purse and that's a huge issue so i run back i'm knocking on the door i'm like he probably thinks i'm so fucking annoying like this bitch what does she need he opens the door i'm like i'm so sorry he's like finally this bitch is leaving and you're like i'm back i'm back and so i got my purse i

run outside and i look a mess it was one of those walk of shames where you grab your underwear and your bra and you don't even put them on you shove them in your purse you shove them in your pocket i know well in this case i had my underwear clutched in my hand fisting it and i get into the uber and i'm like goddamn okay can i just point out at least you had your fucking underwear oh my god oh my god hold on hold. Because I know that girls listening to this are going to be like, oh, the worst shit ever is when you forget your underwear or you're like looking for it everywhere. And you're like, I have no fucking idea. It's probably at the bottom of the bed, like tangled up in the sheet.

And you can't risk it. And I'm not going to. Right. I'm not going to wake him up to find it. And you leave your underwear there and you are like how distinct was the snail trail that's so disgusting but it's so fucking true guys for those of you don't know what a snail trail is women have this thing that happens and it's called discharge and something a substance comes out of their vagina and plops into their underwear it's just a natural bodily function and every girl has it you can't avoid it the amount of times i've left a hookup and i know i couldn't find my underwear and you

the entire rest of the day you're like what the fuck does it look like oh my god i remember what do i remember how bad i've had it where like i spotted okay oh yeah yeah like my period should have been done but i'm spotting so there's like brown there's brown in the underwear i'm like this guy is gonna think and you know what the reason girls get scared is because men are disgusting men are disgusting. Men are grabbing your underwear. You accidentally leave it behind and they are fucking sniffing it. Oh, and they're looking at what they say. They're opening that shit up.

They're looking at it, inspecting it, looking over it. And then he's like, you forgot your underwear here. Or he just never calls you back because the snail trail was so fucking bad. The snail trail was fucking confused as a poop trail. And you're fucked fucked and you'll never hear from him again so thankfully i didn't have that situation this time that's happened to me i know every woman and men shut up all right i'm sure your boxers are disgusting what is it called oh skid marks oh shit okay this is gross anyway so i get home to our um building and we've talked about in the past our elevators are fucked it takes me 90 hours to just get home to our um building and we've talked about in the past our elevators are

fucked it takes me 90 hours to just get up to my fucking apartment and that's the last thing you want when you look like a goddamn hoe that just got railed for 90 hours straight that's you a lot of the time okay yeah thank you so i get into the elevator i'm trying not to make eye contact but i know there are three girls they look about my age to my left and then there's an old ass couple that's about to conk out to my right right classic literally you're either like about to die if you live in our complex or you're young and getting it yeah so i'm standing there trying to avoid eye contact the elevator is being fucked up it's stopping it's not moving and all of a sudden i hear out of the corner of my little right here i go they go wow just like the podcast these elevators will get you and i turn and make eye contact and it's full-blown girls that listen

to the podcast so i just looked and i'm like oh my god guys i'm currently doing a walk of shame like oh like it's fine because what are you gonna say like hey you almost have to say that or else people are like worried and they're like do you need to go to a hospital like wow that girl's way uglier than like she poses on instagram like what the fuck and then i walked in the door and i didn't feel much better about myself because my friend sophia was drinking her coffee and gave me a look up and down you know alex all the times you're giving me a hard time from when i've been a degener. It was time for some fucking payback. Sophia was like, oh, wow. Oh, wow.

You walked in. I'm pretty sure you like were walking slanted. You like couldn't even walk straight. And you looked like you had two black eyes. And I was like, do I need to take you to Mount Sinai? I look like I got this shit beat out of me. It was like a pit bull took me down. Like, where have you been, Alex?

I'm like, oh, I just got fucked. You're like, by who like a pitbull took me down yeah like where have you been alex i'm like oh i just got fucked you're like by who who the fuck took you down i'm like well you are holding underwear in your hand i was gripping my yellow thong i wonder if the grandpa in the elevator noticed it wasn't cute it wasn't great i looked like shit okay instagram took away the following page they're fucking us all so they used to have a page where you could see who was liking whose pictures who was following who like what was going on and now us stalkers are freaking the fuck out because what are we supposed to do i don't understand why instagram's doing that to us i've seen so many memes on the internet too where they're like men when the activity page got disabled and they're all screaming and like chest bumping and they're like men when the activity page got disabled and they're all screaming and like chest bumping and they're so excited because men are like fuck you all yes we can't get we can't

get caught now and women including myself are over here like what the fuck am i supposed to do so funny like why are people so desperate to give someone a like i don't know like men are like yes finally i can like and ask i can go to like why and i've been over here multiple times and i keep going to accidentally check it and i'm like it's not there anymore and it's really sad i know instagram was like we're fucking done enabling all of the crazy bitches and you know what from one crazy bitch to the next ah we just need to out crazy we do we just need to get crazier. We told you daddies.

We can't stop the crazy. Yes. We told you that we understand that a lot of you need a new way to stalk. And we would never let you down. We always are coming up with new ideas. Yes. So today, although it's not as beautiful, obviously, as seeing the following activity page, but we've got a little placeholder.

I think this is brilliant it is pretty good it's not a 100 solution but if you're doing this in the meantime like you're golden you're good let's break it down it is a two-step process that we're about to break down for you guys you're trying to stalk your man the guy you're hooking up with yeah here we go the first step is that you have to access instagram from a computer not your phone which is just that in itself it's it's dedication all right then you're gonna go onto your computer you're gonna click on the man that you want to go stalk and you go to who he follows and it will show you in order of the most recent follows so if he went and followed a slut that morning she will be at the top of that list top okay and so the reason we're saying

you have to go on a desktop to do this is because on the phone it goes by random if you look at who they follow so you're looking at he follows hayley bieber you know they're not about to be fucking right it's like it's very frustrating so this is only on computers once you do this i did this this morning actually i showed sofia and i got pretty upset because you know the guy i'm talking to just followed seven new girls yeah i need to give alex credit where credit's due she found this out and she was like you gotta access it from the desktop and i'm like the fact that you even know that is fucking shocking but investigative so once you find out the girls he started following yeah i got my list of like seven new girls now you want to know oh your guy is really really getting out there clearly i'm not doing what i need to be doing right jesus christ

all right so now that i have seven new girls now you want to see all right is he flirting with her virtually yeah what is that man who are up to yes what you're gonna do is you can now go back onto your phone and you get onto your fake account yeah fake account in which you follow him yes you follow either only him or you follow him and just a few other people. Yes. Now this is the second step. You're going to go onto your phone and you're going to search one of these hoes and you're going to go to their page and you're going to start scrolling through their pictures. Yes. Because you're only following him on this account. If he has liked one of their pictures, his name will pop up yes on the picture it will

show up saying shane peterson and a hundred others liked this and therefore every single picture you'll be able to see which he liked it's just it's too easy it's a little it's a little more work it's a lifestyle though it's a lifestyle and we're just gonna run with it and we love this you know you got to carry around your laptop once in a while. That's totally okay. Fucking go to the sluts profile. Press that little button that makes it so all the pictures show up and you can just scroll down and just fucking keep your eyes peeled for his name.

Really men are fucked. And I think this is a good little way for you guys to kind of like infiltrate while we try to come up with new systems of how to, you know, fuck them over. So guys, I hope you enjoy that. You guys love when we answer your question. The people have spoken. They have. We know what you guys want.

You love when we talk about questions. So what are we here to do? Let's get it fucking popping. We're going to do an episode dedicated to the fucking daddy gang and some of the fucking questions unbelievable we laughed we cried there were some that i was repulsed by you guys some i was proud some i was proud but there were some repulsing some that were serious yep some that were hilarious let's get fucking into it questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

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questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week

questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week questions of the week And recently during some heated sex She turns around And she tells me to call her Quote My fat fucking slut

For context She was super thin when we started dating As seniors in high school And now has put on maybe 20 some pound cents I would personally say she looks better And healthier now anyway Needless to say this kind of shocked me, but she insisted again.

And finally, since I'm a great boyfriend, I called her a fat fucking slut. But I've been so confused since this happened. Is this normal? Please help. Dude, the guys that we date, we would tell them to say that and they'd be so terrified because they would probably know it's a trick. I'm like, call me a fat fucking slut i dare you call me that again bitch call me that again and then finally he says it and i'm like get the fuck out i knew you thought i was

fat i know but wait what did you just say to me he's like you just told me that i'm like i didn't say that you said it okay okay how this might be one of my most favorite questions I've ever heard. Can you imagine getting fucked from behind? This girl turns around and goes, call me your fat fucking slut. Hello. I think that he must have been really mind fucked because she had a weight gain. That's what I was going to say. Like, if she hadn't gained the weight.

And she just wanted to kind of kick it up a little. Right. But that is like fucking scary territory. If she hadn't gained the weight. And she just wanted to kind of kick it up a little. Right. Then. But that is like fucking scary territory. Yeah. And for a guy. I mean, girls and their weight. And it's such a sensitive topic.

And it's like, I know it's her boyfriend, but still. But if he is genuinely saying he thinks she looks so much better, then you know what? And she's fucking begging you to say it and say it. If anything, what I think you could do if you're feeling kind of guilty about it yeah really she doesn't give a next time be like you skinny fucking slut you skinny ass bitch you average perfect body i love it not much to hold on to so fucking thin where have you fucking been babe no i i think that you could make a comment to her when you're not fucking and be like babe like you're not fucking and be like, babe, like you're so fucking hot.

I know you told me to call you your fat fucking son. I'll call you whatever you want in the bedroom. But just know, I think you look so fucking good. Yes. Like lately you've been looking so good. But whatever you want me to call you, I'll call you babe. Whatever gets you off. Yeah. Boom.

Boom. Have you ever like gained some weight and like. I was in a relationship and sex was like kind of wild and i knew that when i gained weight but it like wasn't in a good way like to me and to him like it wasn't in like a cute way right right right and i was like knew i had to be sluttier like he wasn't as physically attracted to me so i'm'm like, I got to ramp up the slut factor. And then he actually liked it. So then he kind of liked when I would get a little bit bigger.

Cause he's like, finally, she'll fucking suck my dick like the slut I wanted her to be. But then if I know I'm looking hot, I'm like, I'm going to lay here and be a little eye mask on. Have a great time. Good night. That's really healthy. I think that's good, Sophia. We've said it. If you're a fiver, five or six die for that day it was the guy that told me that some of the best fucks he's ever had

were girls that were sevens or below okay because they knew they had to be sluttier and so i took that to heart and i was like oh you're not looking too hot right now you gotta get a slutty mix do you know how much that's going to upset people dude people are gonna people always get pissed at should we say but it's fucking true how i if you're not as hot and you're not looking as good you get nastier on that dick and that half the time that is why guys like to fuck girls that are below let's yeah i'm not gonna say below seven but like around seven because they're like she knows right she's about to get a fucking freak. There's a stereotype that girls that are super hot suck in bed. So true.

I didn't come up with it. Jesus. Leave me alone. Leave us alone. Okay. That's a great, thank you for sharing that, Sophia. Yes. This guy wrote in and said, you know what?

That was just fucking unhealthy and I'm about to bring health and wellness. Wellness. iTunes, move us over to the health wellness section this was from a guy he said hello founding fathers on episode 37 where you sophia go ape shit on how girls get turned on from the challenge of guys having a girlfriend well i'm going to one-up that i had a girl who was never interested in me before flirt with me like I was an MLB athlete. I politely told her that I'm actually married now. And she replied, I know.

That's why this is so much more exciting. So, boys, if you really like the crazies, buy a fake ring and find yourself a homewrecker. Stay classy, daddy gang. Stay classy. It's hard these days whoa look look call her daddy we aren't the most stand-up podcast you know the morals are a little questionable compass is a little tilted it's a little we say things like cheat or be cheated on and i do think it's brilliant yes but what are you gonna say but

I am gonna say there are certain things that maybe it's just for me personally I don't understand it yeah I have never liked a guy more because he was in a relationship to me I've always felt okay this guy is literally choosing to be with another girl and not me. And he's making it very clear that he likes her more than me. So like I'm out. Yeah. Like why the fuck would you? I really need to have a guy like act obsessed.

Okay. I'm going to expose myself a little bit here. We've got a home. No, fuck. No, no, no, no. Okay. So in college, I have to admit when I was, I was so immature. We were all immature in college.

Yeah. And I remember there was this guy that had a girlfriend and he would flirt with me sometimes. And I was kind of like, I was a little attracted, but you know what it is, what it was for me. Cause I'm really, cause I don't do it anymore. And I really didn't do it that hard then, but I'm trying to channel my inner immaturity and what it came down to i think it's an insecurity thing well that is probably actually no i'm gonna tell me i think what it was was i liked this is so fucked up just say i enjoyed the idea that he was so unattainable and with like my ego i was like i just want to try to see if i could even like watch him like fucking cheat on his girlfriend

yes like all i was just like oh i wonder if he'll fucking cheat on his girlfriend like how easy that would be but he was like he made a move and then i was like not into it once he showed that he would and then it became i was just wanted to see yeah and i think i i could see why girls are weirdly into it because it's like you're so off limits and we love the chase but it's not healthy it's stupid so i i think that's you know what you were being honest and you know what you've changed i have changed you would what? You've changed. I have changed. You would not do that now, right, Alex? Alex. Alex.

No, no, I wouldn't. I really wouldn't because I'm on your page now. I'm like, why the fuck would I go after a guy that has a girlfriend? Like, I need the guy to be like,

I will go to the ends of the earth to fucking make you date me. And then that's not going to happen if he has a girlfriend or a wife. I'm like, okay, no. All right.

I got a good one for men here because I think this is a very, very highly requested question. Okay. So this guy said, I matched with this girl on Tinder and we chat for a couple of days. Her profile claims that she's a Snapaholic. So I asked her for her Snapchat. Sorry not to be mean. But don't ever put that in your fucking bio. Don't say you're Snapaholic.

No, don't ever put that in your fucking bio. Don't say you're a snapaholic. No, don't. So the next day I message her on Snapchat and she asks who I am as if she doesn't know. Mind you, my Tinder and my Snapchat accounts use the same unique name. So I assume she's talking to a ton of guys on multiple dating platforms. That's fine. We continue to exchange messages on Snapchat for a while and I clarify who I am. Then she asks me for a photo so i grab a quick selfie and i send it to her immediately she unmatches with me on tinder and blocks me on snapchat mind you my tinder photos are totally candid and similar to one that i snapped at her what is this literally what the

fuck happened dude i that okay first i'm really sorry rough but do you want the real honest answer she was not into it no she is not attracted to you you open the front camera and and it you looked like a shrek-esque motherfucker no yeah no you could be really cute but i i mean i admit i've done this before he could be really cute but i i mean i admit i've done this okay he could be really cute but she didn't think she did nothing and we're just we have to be yeah and you probably are wondering like what changed between snapchat and tinder because maybe you know you look the same a lot of times i've been on dating apps where i give the guy a chance and i'm not really focused on his like dating profile like i've been there before where i was on a

dating app and you get sometimes you could just get like trigger finger happy and you're kind of like oh god i'm desperate like people treat dating apps differently yeah there are some people like i dude sophia had like 900 messages literally heart just fucking even if i thought he was a three i'm like oh well you know you never know and alex would sit there and be like, Alex, you go and look at all of their profiles. All of I Am Psycho. Their social media profiles. I never did that. I think because I do the weeding out before I heart where you would heart and then you

do the weeding out later. See, so it just because you guys connected doesn't mean that. So she hates you. All right. Sorry about that. So this is a little personal, but feel like you know maybe the daddies want to hear someone did write in and ask us to talk about our worst first date which i think we kind of answered this actually on our youtube channel very briefly so i think we both have

in mind like what our worst dates why don't you tell us okay tell us there is a man who i despise the shade and i would say his name but we don't even want to give him give him that you know nope nope so this is going to make me sound like a fucking bitch okay but i am not you're not i'm gonna sound like an absolute bitch but i promise this is gonna make me sound like a shallow like ridiculous high maintenance bitch i'm really really not i'm down to earth i know you are i know so he is like i want to take you out on a date and I have courtside tickets. Okay. I am a huge fan of sports. Sophia was dying.

This is her living fucking dream. I didn't even know what courtside meant. Like is that football? I don't get it. I'm like, no, it's basketball, sweetie. Is it every side? The side of the court? What do you mean? Okay.

Okay. Okay. So I bring it up to Alex and Alex is like oh girlfriend that means you're gonna be on the actual court and like people are gonna be seeing you and it's a place to like be seen yes and even the guy texts me and he's like you need to dress to the nines you are going to be on camera like port side is no joke like look hot type of thing so i'm like so i have to wear heels to a sports game like okay absolutely so i can't i get to i believe it was at msg. Did I just make that up? Nope. I think it was. Madison Square Garden. And we start walking down to our seats.

You're like courtside. And he likes to make a little pit stop at row, I want to say like row six. Those are great seats. Absolutely. Those are amazing seats absolutely those are amazing seats but when you have been sitting there and you literally wrote the word court side jamming it down your throat and telling me i'm gonna be on camera and i need to look hot and i need to dress up and then you sit my fat ass down in row six not gonna happen not cool not cool also i'm pretty sure it wasn't even row six i think

you were back at like 10 i remember you took a picture so if you took a picture and said it to me it was and i was like does this look like right no i think we were down low enough that we were on the court right not it's yeah you weren't court we were on the bleachers and i know she sounds a little pretentious but don't i would have worn fucking sneakers and my hair in a ponytail and been way more chill. And that wouldn't have made me want to go more or less on the date. So now, confirm though, this wasn't the worst date just because of this. What happened is this man. This man, to this day, I could assume.

Yes. to this day i could assume yes goes around and tells every fucking girl he dates that we dated dated that we seriously dated and we know this because multiple girls have slid into sofia's dms being like hey like i went on a date with this guy and he said that like you guys dated yes and that you're a bitch and he says that i'm a bitch and um he also likes to say that the podcast was named after him and i'm like sweetheart sweetheart every man is referred to as dad yeah he calls himself which is like embarrassing and the fact that he thinks we named our fucking show after him i'm like you would be so lucky yeah so if you have the time can't even remember your actual name yes she doesn't even know i don't even know it right now so i can see what that would be annoying also also

since when and i just want everyone to like you guys can slide in and tell me since when is one date the equivalent of we are dating right you didn't even have sex no we didn't even have sex wow the penis did not even go in the vagina or the asshole or the mouth not even the asshole so yeah that's like when i kind of am embarrassed for people like that because you're like dude just relax yeah you know goddamn well you're not walking around telling anyone you even know made out with this no god forbid i saw him actually on the sidewalk with alex and we fucking booked it we booked it swan dived into a random person's uber and we're like drive sir we've got cash yeah it's so embarrassing yeah no that's pathetic um that's a pretty shitty

date experience also just because it kept lingering with you well and these girls fall for it and they're like yeah he like brings you up and i'm like if a guy is bringing up an ex-girlfriend for clout it's bad it's bad when you're not even his girlfriend okay okay mine i actually tweeted about this and so many people on the internet were like you're making that shit up and the thing is is like one why would i ever make something up just for like a tweet and two this fucking happened and i will never forget because i was texting you furiously. The engaged guy. I matched with the guy on Raya and I went to meet him at this place called Ludlow House. I was super excited. It says he was like a venture capitalist.

I'm like, oh, this is cool. He looked pretty cute. And he had gone to Harvard. It all looked great. I'm like, wow, my mother is going to be so excited. I remember. And we sit down and the beginning of the date was like fine he had got me a drink beforehand and we're talking

and halfway through us talking he just got like really awkward and he starts kind of shaking and i'm like okay like are you like literally trembling oh my god and he starts getting super awkward and he was like um uh all right so like there's something i want to bring up um but like i'm just like a little nervous to bring it up i think it could kill the mood and i'm like okay so bring it up and he's like no no like i feel like maybe i should wait and i'm like all right shut the fuck you know what i mean it's like you brought it up you're like i don't even want to sit here if you're not gonna tell me Tell me. He eventually tells me that he has been engaged for three, three, one, two, three years with a girl who he loves dearly, but he can't help but just want to see what health is out there

before he fully commits. He's not sure he's ready to be a husband and he's not sure if she's the one. Alex, I'm surprised that didn't turn you on more. you i'm surprised you weren't like no dude actually how embarrassing i literally looked at him and i go well where's your ring but i forgot men that are engaged don't wear a ring wouldn't you ask that kind of no i was about to be like what did he say yeah no he's like um he literally goes engaged people don't wear rings only the girls do i remember i was i was, I don't even know where the fuck I was, but I got a text from Alex and I'm like, how's the date going? And Alex goes, he's engaged.

And I'm like, what the fuck do you mean? So as, so I look at him and I'm like, I'm so confused. And the whole thing ended up being really weird. And I ended up just getting up and leaving. And before I left, he begged me, begged me not to expose him on the podcast what's his name go ahead so his name no i feel bad for the girl but yeah he was a total douche and i was like damn men are trash so the thing is is like if you're gonna be fucked up and shady yeah just be fucked up and shady right okay why tell me why bring in the girl you're

gonna be shady with into your right because i was like kind of into him had he not brought that up he probably at least would have gotten a fucking make out wasn't he like trying to like like extract call her daddy advice from you and then he started talking business with me and like talking about investors and i was like suck my dick sorry and we can end here there was one really weird thing that I I kind of thought something was off on my way um to the date I remember you would ask like is he cute and I went to look at his profile to get a picture and he had unmatched me while I was on my way to the date oh so he must do that where like he unmatches girls you can't find him it was very serial killer that's very interesting so it's fun really cute really cute anyways

anyways maybe next time we can talk about our good date oh yeah that's a good idea okay hey daddy gang hey just wanted to testify that anal is the shit. Figuratively and literally, I guess. He was a little nervous at first. Cute that he was worried about me. But as I talked him through it, it was mind blowing for both of us. We did a combo with his dick in my ass as I used the vibrator. Let me tell you, it was a fucking waterfall. Jesus Christ.

Came the hardest I ever have and he was shook he said it was so fucking hot and he came right after me that's all love you daddy oh spilling the asshole tea today why don't you guys i love that anal if you're not doing anal, you're not living. It's about time to add that to the repertoire. The repertoire. Yes. Dude, this girl, shit is on her clit. No, not actual shit, Jesus Christ. Shit is in her asshole.

We hope. We hope. Wow. Okay, so dick in the ass, vibrator on the clit. On the pussy. In the pussy. Wow. Yes. So dick in the ass, vibrator on the clit, in the pussy. Wow. Yes.

Amazing. Well, we've told you guys before, the whole anal thing, even if you put a butt plug in, something about having something in your ass gives you this full feeling. And then when you're going to cum, it's like, whoa. Exactly. If you're going to do anal, I definitely think you should incorporate something that's going to stimulate the clit. Absolutely. incorporate something that's going to stimulate the clit absolutely i've heard oh and maybe i know

but i've heard that some of the best orgasms are when there's something up the butt guys i think it's time but listen be careful because you guys remember my story when i passed the fuck out it wasn't cute it wasn't pretty use lube yeah be smart take it slow slow because once you're in there you're ready to go maybe I'll do that this weekend yeah me too too much in the pussy yeah let's switch it up you don't even need someone no you just dildo in the butt

vibrate on the pussy it's the only way to live yeah if you guys are masturbating you guys should be doing that anyways that's actually really some advice it is try having an orgasm by yourself with that and it's gonna be a great one and then you'll really want them to do it stretch it out stretch that out i have one here that has to do with some cheating it's pretty scary scary out here guys okay get ready for this cheating

story i have been seeing this guy for almost a year now and we just made it official one night he was drunk and his phone was dead so he logged into his uber on my phone so then I have been able to track his rides and he has no idea a few nights ago he went out to the bar and didn't text me when he was leaving like he usually does he accidentally posted a story of a girl's Snapchat code instead of scanning it to add her as a friend like an idiot and then quickly deleted it. I knew something was up, so I checked the Uber app and a car was picking him up from his house and going to a different house. Me and my friends hopped in the car and waited at the Uber drop off destination. Shut up. Turned off the car drop-off destination. Shut up. Turned off the car lights and ducked.

We thought if he was alone, he'd be going into a girl's house, but if he was with friends, we were fine. To my surprise, he got out of the Uber with another girl and right in front of my eyes, kissed her multiple times, picked her up and twirled her around and kept hugging her.

Oh my God. Me and my friends drove off after he walked back inside. He has no idea that I know and especially that I saw everything. How do I go about confronting this dumb ass? Love you guys. I'm freaking out for this girl. Can you imagine? Having to watch that?

You had just started dating. You guys committed to each other and you're sitting in the fucking car and also i feel bad because she's like with her girlfriends it's so embarrassing i mean you're watching i wouldn't give a fuck about that shit dude how wild that i was like in that story with you and you're in there's like they turn off the lights they're in the car they're in the car. They're huddling. I'm like in the car with this girl. And how unbelievable they got the address and they got there first. Wow. I mean, okay. She wants to know how she goes about it.

We always say. We have said it so many times. If you sit there and yell at him and you're kicking and screaming, that just shows that you give a fuck about him. And he's going to think the fact that you're even talking to him maybe he has a chance it's so true you need to terrify this man you really do you do you need i can understand because we always do say just ghost and disappear and it'll be the biggest mind fuck there are situations that i understand that like you do want a little revenge no i i

oh revenge like not revenge but you kind of want to get back a little you want to hurt him where you kind of felt the hurt i think what i would do is send one fucking text yeah to let him know that you know and it's got to be something so drama like i know everything i'm disgusted you're so cute like joy yeah i'm literally getting railed right now well and your dick is way too small for this fucking great bomb pussy i don't even i couldn't even feel you i'm just kidding alex no no no i couldn't even feel you you couldn't stretch me out if you fucking tried you need a dick stretcher you should put on a fake dick and fuck me i'd feel that more than your own fucking dick let's go no no don't do that i agree i mean dude that's fucking nuts i don't think you

should let him i don't think you should act angry no just be like i know everything i'm disgusted by you like and then accidentally post a sex tape on your story okay i was gonna say disappear then okay okay okay i thought this was very interesting. I want to know, Alex, how you would feel about this. Okay. Hey, back at it again with the DM. I'll back at it again. I've been talking to this guy for a while in college,

and he has been giving me super intense dating vibes. He kisses me in public while we were at a party, blatantly pulls me away from guys but we aren't dating last night before we were about to fuck we started talking and what one thing led to another and he was saying he knows who he wants to marry and it's not me what so that's why we aren't dating he was like i really like you and care for you but he says he loves our friendship and knows that this other girl is who he is meant to be with excuse me so this girl says do i keep fucking him and just fool around with other guys i really like him i just

feel like this situation is super weird love you both okay that's very uh strange i feel like a lot of times men don't do that can you imagine this reminded me of your bad date yes can you imagine if a guy is saying that he knows that he wants to marry right someone other than you but like we can just keep fucking but that's why we're not dating okay one this guy's a fucking idiot why don't you have your cake and eat it too that's great why does she need to eat it in your goddamn journal tell your mother she's so excited start planning the wedding tell your therapist boom yeah don't tell the girl you're fucking if you want to keep fucking her what's the point if i was this girl it seems to me like she's saying

that she has feelings and if i was you get the fuck out yes if you were just in it for the sex because the sex is good right what i would do is i would start to put a little bit more boundaries on it we're like yeah if you're at a party one night maybe when he's trying to grab you and stuff you're like relax yeah and then you start flirting with another guy and you go home with another guy yes granted he may end things with you but who the fuck cares yeah you need to assert your dominance that's really good let him know that like you are going to be fucking other guys you know who you're going to marry? Well, I know who I'm going to fuck tonight and it's not you.

So go fuck yourself and I'm going to take better dick and you can call me tomorrow. You go ahead and get married and I'm going to go get fucked. There we go. Good night. This girl wrote in and said, my founding father, I am studying abroad in Italy this semester and want to hook up with a professor here. I'm not in his class class but he teaches in the same program how do i do this also he just followed me back on insta that helps so many

girls writing in that they want to fuck either their professor or their boss dude so many so many girls i was reading so many this morning getting ready for the episode i'm like oh my god daddy yes i like it i don't know exactly how to answer this because although it's been a fantasy of mine i have not fucked a boss or a professor have i no but i will say because they are in the position of power and all of this me too shit you are gonna have to be the one that really makes it clear what you want to go down you definitely have to be the one that really makes it clear what you want to go down. You definitely have to be the one that is like initiating it more and giving little hints and signs. I think it's so fucking amazing that he followed you back on Instagram because you can totally

like slide in his DMs and send him like a funny meme or something like this reminds me of what happened in class. Something. Yes. Just get the DMs flowing. I actually I should have read it this episode, but we had a girl write in and say that she reminds me of what happened in class something yes just get the dms flowing um i actually i should have read it this episode but we had a girl write in and say that she was um going to meet with her professor he was like a younger professor and they were talking and his spotify

was like up on his phone and she saw on the bottom bar of the spotify that he had been listening to a call her daddy episode and she goes oh my gosh are you daddy gang like do you listen to the podcast and he was like i've listened since episode one and they started fucking flirting over it talking about the episodes and one thing led to the other and they he was like do you want to meet up later for some like extra help or some bullshit and they fucked and like she was like literally like how beautiful that's amazing so maybe you should maybe you should just tell your professor like hey this podcast i'm really passionate about would you want to go listen to it and then he listens and he's like okay so you're a whore and you want to fuck me don't fucking no actually don't try to use the podcast but i i think um i think every time he is offering like

extra help or is like students like let's go to a coffee shop i think you should absolutely be there and i think that you need to linger linger and i think that you need to fucking make it known and dress slutty oh come on absolutely i want you showing up to class with the fucking low-cut shirt absolutely not a club outfit okay you're in class but you know up to class with the fucking low cut shirt. Absolutely. Not a club outfit. No. Okay, you're in class. But, you know, show a little. Stuff the bra.

Yes. Make it look huge. Yes. Let him start. His mind starts wandering. And he wants to fuck you on his desk. Honestly, show up with two braids. A plaid skirt.

Oh my god. A little tie. Thigh high. Thigh high sock. Plaid skirt. Little kitten heels. Ohigh high. Thigh high socks. Plaid skirt. Little kitten heels. Oh my God. Show up.

Can you fucking imagine? Sit on his desk. Bring an apple. And be like, I just need extra credit. I'm just so confused. What could I do? I'm failing. Hello.

Oh, that's color down for you. I wish life worked that way. Me too. Okay. This girl wrote in. I need your wisdom. I have really long hair and I love it so much. It makes me feel so hot, especially when I'm having sex.

The only issue is every time I have sex, my hair gets so tangled and matted. I look like a New York street dog. I don't like putting my hair in a ponytail because I feel like Professor McGonagall. Okay. Any hair tips? Okay. These are kind of those questions. Tatties, we love you.

I love you guys. So much. More than anything. But like. This. What the fuck kind of answer do you want? You like your hair long, but you don't want to put it up in a ponytail but it's been very very hard for you to have sex with it down it's getting your face it's getting your

mouth but then you also don't want to do a ponytail and she can't cut it she can't cut it she doesn't want to like what okay a hairnet a hairnet literally i guess a hair but if she doesn't like that suck it the fuck up put your hair put your hair in a freaking bun or a ponytail absolutely i guess put a bunch of detangler in your hair before you fuck i don't know we're not we're not hairstylists no and this isn't really a problem dude i'll get out oh i have long ass hair it gets in my way but it's also hot when you haven't you heard of like sex hair yes rock it oh guys these are just the little moments we gotta just you know think about it girlfriend you're not going to cut it and you're not going to put it up daddies this one is a real kicker so i've been hooking up with this guy for a while now

and he ended up moving so we cut things off about a month after our last hookup. He texted me to tell me that he tested positive for chlamydia. So of course I freak out. And this motherfucker tells me, keep freaking out and you're getting blocked. This is the best STD you can get. No, she goes, I'm not making this up.

The best STD you can get. Like it's some kind of gift. He then told me that I can fuck off because the other girls he told thanked him for telling them and they understood. So I should have thanked him. You've got to be kidding.

Men are fucking last. This is my favorite question of this entire episode. You should be thanking me. Keep it up and you're going to fucking block, bitch. Keep freaking out and you're getting blocked.

I'm going to punch you in the head bitch dude there's something so unbelievable because he does have a point a fucking point it's literally like bitch it's chlamydia you take a fucking pill and you're right you pop a pill and like it's like it never i didn't give you aids i didn't give you herpes right shut the fuck up right and so i it's funny because like it never happened. I didn't give you AIDS. I didn't give you herpes. Shut the fuck up. Right. Right. And so it's funny because like it kind of the fact that he's like, I will block you because the other fucking 20 women that I fucked and I told they were all very, very happy. Yeah. It's like it's the classic case of a guy like telling you something and it's still fucked up.

Right. Like they think because they told you like they're like, they're good to like he's like excuse me why aren't you thanking me you bitch it's so good i listen girlfriend yeah that's one of those things where uh i guess you should be happy he told you but but why are we making excuses for him i don't know because i don't know the way he went about it it's kind of funny it is but i'm going to say if you gave someone an std you gotta give them like some room to freak out give them a little leeway to be upset shut the fuck up now i'm about to block your ass you're like wait i'm just sorry i'm just having a moment because i have fucking chlamydia god forbid i'm a little upset oh cool upset that's as if if he was like i threw up in the backseat of your car but i'm telling you now

and like you can't even like be upset like oh you're like thank you for telling me but what the fuck and he's like shut the fuck up i didn't even need to tell you it's like okay wow girlfriend i'm really sorry about that yeah hopefully you know you learn from that and condoms are your friend apparently condoms are a girl's best friend fuck that so sweet diamonds we're changing into condoms yeah really nudes nudes nudes do the noodle dance that's not a thing do you know that yes it is from that disney show noodle noodle what what show please just keep talking nudie nudie nudie pics all right so we've got two little um tricks hacks that the daddy gang wrote in and we always love to give you guys all the feedback So these are two ideas for nudes. Okay. The first one is for girls. Oh, it was a guy that wrote in saying he got this fire nude from this girl and he wants

to share it with the daddy gang women. I want to hear this because I need to step up my game. I need to step it up. Okay. This girl took a bathroom mirror selfie. She had clearly just been in the shower. She had clearly taken a shit. She just took a

massive dump no this girl took a bathroom mirror selfie and she had clearly been in the shower for a bit so the mirrors were fogged up okay what she did she wiped off enough of the mirror for to show her body but the fogged up portion stayed over her face okay so he just said the nude was so fucking hot wow it was blurred face obviously from you know the mirror so she's like having her back yes and taking care of herself taking care of the no face in the nude yeah which again don't judge i've absolutely done that but she was. And I think that's such a hot fucking way to not show your face. We've said it before. The wet nudes are so fucking hot.

And she's also incorporating that like the room is steamy. Yes, it's hot. Beautiful. The next thing is someone wrote in and said that there is a keyboard app called What Is It? W-I-T. And you can make your own picture puzzles so you can like oh i've heard and then they have to put the pieces together like a regular puzzle this guy i'm talking to sent me a nude using it this girl said and she said i was sitting there piecing together his nude and it honestly was the hottest thing because I had never heard of this app before.

And this was the last thing I was expecting. So she said it was just cool. Like it was added a different element. This could be a little corny kind of fun, but it could be fun. I think that a guy receiving it. Well, I think that would totally work. I do too. I think a guy getting a nude in any aspect is going to be happy.

And if he has to piece this in the other and slowly he starts to starts to realize holy shit that's the left titty right whoa is that areola on the corner is that a clit on the ground and then he just scoops it up and he watches it and he's happy and he puts the puzzle together and the clit is there whoa stay taped it back on daddies we love to always give you new tips i hope you guys i mean download that up see what happens that is such a good one love it love it this one was very interesting to me oh let's hear it but you know just i'm not the most professionals like i need to go find it take your time in the dark corners of your screenshots yes oh here we go daddies i think my boyfriend has a fetish that hasn't been brought up on your podcast yet oh he is attracted to the smell of my pussy and my sweaty armpits after a long day before i shower we're both science majors so he went

into detail about why this is normal but i still get a little weirded out whenever we will be laying in bed after sex and he proceeds to quickly sneak up and take a whiff from my armpit at least not going and smelling your asshole that's true oh i would yeah that would worry me please wow okay as a girl spilling the tea i also kind of like the smell of like my guy after he works out i kind of sometimes like it it like turns me on interesting on the flip okay yeah i don't know if guys necessarily like the smell of a girl's armpits but i the fact that i'm like so the armpits i'm like about to like be so serious i'm like what is your job go home i'm like the armpit smelling the fetish if it gives you a boner i'm not sure okay but specifically the right armpit versus the left is the go-to okay i was talking to a guy about this okay and he said dinner conversation and he said that he was crazy about this girl okay it was his

dream girl hot smart funny like every single thing was there okay but he did not like her scent jesus and i and i asked him i was like oh like she smelled bad like she didn't practice good hygiene and he's like no the hygiene is fine she showers she wears deodorant she wears perfume it's fine it's just the literal scent that this girl gives off like did not was not up up to par up to what up to the ceiling up to my scent standards there's a lot of other hosts i fucked and i love the. The scent. I have heard that before. And that's actually something we've never talked about on Call Her Daddy. A lot of times there are guys that specifically are attracted to women based on their scent.

Yes. And like you said, to clarify, it's not the deodorant. No. It's not the personal hygiene. It's not if you're being clean or not. It's literally like. Okay. Everyone has a smell, right? I'm going down a rabbit hole.

But when you were younger. Yeah. Tell me that your friends didn't smell like their house. Everyone had a different smell. Yes. Like you'd go to your friend's house and everyone kind of has their specific smell. And some friends, their house was like, whoa. This house has a smell.

Yeah. Well, now we're breaking it down to straight up just bodies. Like. Yeah. I think like for men, it might just be like a subconscious thing. And how the. It's just the smell. And you literally can't control it might just be like a subconscious thing and how the and you literally can't control it it's like no and it's like unexplainable actually you know what that's a fucking lie i think it is kind of explainable science you give off what are they

called like pheromones pheromones do you say pheno we just need to move on goodbye i'm not editing that one i hate you pheromones but i know it's so fucking yeah so listen ladies the thing is is you can do as much personal hygiene as you need this isn't about hygiene this is just your fucking scent and there's nothing you can do about it have you ever had a guy be super into the way you smell if you're sweaty yep it was one time after i was done with the gym and he was like oh my god God, like it's so fucking hot. Like when you're like sweaty. He straight up said that. Wow.

I've never had a guy do that to me. Yeah. Maybe I'm just disgusting. Maybe I'm really smelly. Great. Shut the fuck up. Fuck me. So my best friend in college was being a shithead and cheating on her boyfriend.

Classic. She was being really sneaky. I mean, she had the guy's name saved as a girl's name and had our sorority symbol after the name because she knew her boyfriend wasn't going to question it there were like 200 girls in the sorority and she told him she had been talking to the two girls looking for a little okay anyway he found out she was cheating and she was like there's no way he could have figured it out well when all the shit came to light we found out he had hid her phone one day and she could not find it. OK.

He told her just use find my iPhone app. What he didn't tell her is that he had set up QuickTime on his MacBook Pro to record his phone screen. OK. his MacBook Pro to record his phone screen. Okay. So basically he used QuickTime and it would record his phone without showing up the red screen recording bubble in the corner. Okay. Okay. So he's recording anything that's about to go down on his phone. Okay.

Then she types in her password to find my iPhone. On his phone. On his phone and found her phone and they my iPhone. On his phone. On his phone and found her phone and they moved on. Later that day, he went on the screen recording, figured out her Apple ID and password because you have to use that for find my iPhone. Right. Logged into her iMessages. Now all of her texts were coming to his laptop.

So he started reading all of them and found her messages to the guy and they were supposed to meet up. He fully showed up and caught her. She was mortified. Point being, they had a crazy toxic relationship that involved an arrest at one point and then a restraining order. Now they're happily broken up. Wow, this really sounds like your last relationship. Hold on.

I'm like a little shocked. Okay. And actually mad that we've never thought about this. So QuickTime is an application on the MacBook Pro. Okay. And it just makes sure that you are recording anything that's going to happen on your cell And it doesn't show like a normal screen recording on an iPhone that it's screen recording. So when this girl picked up his phone, she had no idea everything she was doing.

Right. He was recording. Was being recorded. That guy is genius. Genius i i am shocked if your phone was missing tell me that you would even doubt for a second to fucking use find my iphone from anyone's phone no fuck no i would be desperate i'd be like oh my god hand me your phone and in no way would i ever think that i didn't know there's an application that can screen record when you don't know you're screen recording so i really i'm speechless i know me too this is actually one of the best fucking ways yeah to catch a cheater right now and call her daddy history this is one of the smoothest ways to do it there's no way you're

getting caught no there's no way you're getting caught absolutely not i've talked about this before you have the login info that you get to do from the comfort of your own home you have hours and hours to go through everything that's the best way to do it and you're just chilling yeah looking through all her shit trying to quickly look through a phone when he like goes to the bathroom it's like yeah wow daddies if you think you're a man or you're a female you're female if your woman is cheating do the fucking quick turn up all right daddies wow wow so many questions so little time i hope our feedback was informative i know we can be a little unhealthy but i felt like we kind of brought a little nice little mortgage board of health and wellness know, fucked up and mentally insane. If you look deep, deep, deep, deep,

deep down, you will find some wisdom. Peel back the layers and it's there, we promise. Guys, every fucking Wednesday, if you guys could go leave us a rating and a review, subscribe, unsubscribe from our podcast,

it helps us. And then subscribe again. Don't forget that part. Don't forget to subscribe again. We think it works. Also, you guys, we were shadow banned on Instagram. Yes. So go follow our fucking personals.

Yes. Mine is Alexandra Cooper. And mine is Sophia with an F, Franklin with a Y. So guys, go follow us. Obviously, try to go follow the Call Her Daddy account. But we love you guys. It's every fucking Wednesday. And we have a little treat for you guys next week.

In celebration of Halloween, we're going to get a little scary. We're going to get a little spooky. Spooky. Scarier than usual. Absolutely. All right, guys. We will see you next week. Love you, daddies.

Love you, daddies. you guys think that just because winter is approaching you're gonna let yourself go but you're fucking not because you're gonna blink and summer will be here absolutely guys we need to keep our shit in shape open fit sophie and i are so lazy but we have this on our phones now and so you don't even have to go to the gym if you can literally work out in the comfort of your own home they have really famous personal trainers on this shit you'll go on you'll recognize some of them and you can have it on your iphone your tablet your computer etc and it's super easy way to work out it takes the complexity out of it you don't have to go to the gym you guys right now if you, if you text code DADDY to 303030, that's 303030, you can join the OpenFit 30-Day Challenge,

which is a 30-day free trial membership to OpenFit. Yeah, guys, it's free. Again, if you text DADDY to 303030, you're going to get full access to OpenFit, all the workouts, and nutrition information totally free if you just text that number.