Call Her Daddy - 64- The Cocaine Chronicles

Episode Date: December 4, 2019

We all know Sofia has gotten into some trouble in her past….well now she is finally ready to tell the full story of her time behind bars! Get ready for some bend over and cough fun because this is a genuinely crazy story (our court system is f*cked!) Also in this weeks episode, the girls have had a complete change of heart and think you should NOT delete pictures of your ex but only under ONE condition: men, if you want to up your dick game, trust us on this one. And last but not least, Sofia gives a personal account of what a man did recently that rocked her world…and it includes a tongue and a vibrator! EVERYONE SHOULD BE DOING THIS IN BED. Tune in!

Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy? Call her daddy. Hello everyone, it's Call Her Daddy. Back at it again. Happy Wednesday, wiener holes. Oh, I feel the holidays. I feel them creeping into my bloodstream.

The snow. The snow, the jingle, the slut. They all come out during the holiday season. I literally said the slush. It is Alex Cooper and Sophia Franklin back at it again for another episode

of Call Her Daddy. What's up, hoes? Tricks. Players. Kicks. Homies. Okay. How's everyone doing?

We're not doing too great. I love how you ask how's everyone doing like they can answer. They're in their car. They're like fucking great. We're like, well, we're doing shitty per usual. Sophia and I, there was a mean article written about us. It's a bully the article uh well we just have a couple things that we would like to fix because it was inaccurate information you hate to see it okay you really hate to see it tell them what it said and and it specifically

irked me because it's about my friend right my clothes and it irked me because it's about my friend. Right. My close. And it irked me because it's about myself. So, therefore, I'm going to read this to you. So basically, this article is just talking about call her daddy and all the horrible. Actually, I just am going to read one in the lines. I don't know what the context is, but it just says it makes them out to be animals who will put sex above the emotional well-being of their partners. I'm like, oh, really? Do we really? They referred to us as animals?

Yeah. Wow. Okay. Not mad about it. That's fine. So they go on to start to talk about Sophia and the infamous arrest of our friend Sophia here. What they go on to detail though is completely inaccurate. I'm going to read it. The hosts discussed Sophia's criminal history. Okay. Can they just calm down? First of all, calm down. Criminal history, relax. Please, just please stop.

Okay. Which included damaging narratives about drug dealing and how ethnicity can impact police attitudes and treatment. At no point did the episode acknowledge the white privilege that allowed sophia to commit such a crime only to spend one night in jail bitch first of all why are they like doing a deep dive into our podcast no offense i know they're like so at this point in time talking about white privilege and all of that this is not what this shit is about this is not the place but the first issue uh-huh is that you were not arrested for drug dealing no you didn't get caught for that shit no i was a fucking expert when it

came to dealing drugs what i was not an expert at is underage drinking sofia seems to have some issues with drinking that was more the catalyst of the arrest she never got caught for slinging that dope ski and and that's why i respect you yeah um the drug dealer in her knew she could never get caught but this bitch is like and therefore to be arrested for dealing drugs one night in jail absolutely it was an underage drinking which is already ridiculous to even spend one night in jail. Absolutely. It was an underage drinking ticket. Which is already ridiculous to even spend one night in jail for that. Also, and to me, probably more importantly, white privilege. Newsflash.

Zero of my parents were born here. Tell them. Okay. Tell them. My mom and my dad are fresh off the boat. Accents like zero white. Yes, Sophia's not white. So I know I act like it.

I know I sound like it. I know I look like it. Sophia is sound like it i know i look like it is from the valley in california as far as everyone's concerned but sofia is not white people say if it acts like a duck and quacks like a duck it's a duck but not in this instance not it's not this case so we just wanted to put you know the rumors to rest and this kind of reminds me of something this happened a couple months ago but someone got arrested again jesus no i'm like wow okay no someone reached out to one of my family members okay oh and sent them a link to my mugshot and they were like um not sure if you know this but like this is like sophia's past and like she has a past and

you should really she's not who she says she is and blah blah blah and it was literally just a link to my picture of my mugshot that I have on a t-shirt that I sell as merchandise for money what the fuck people the fact that they're trying to expose you like look what she's been up to and then it's like no you should have sent the link you're sitting next to me like wearing the shirt with my mug you have it on it's in your christmas card this year wow so they're really trying to expose you little do they know you already exposed yourself yeah but for money yeah for money there you go um i think that's a great story. And I'm really sorry you have people out to get you.

The other thing. The other thing. Last episode, I usually don't listen back, but I like listen back to like the first five minutes because people kept writing me and they were like, yo, like you said you were arrested back to back to back to back. I gotta love it. Okay, well, actually, there's, and people need to realize this, there's a difference between, like, the drunk tank, I think I've said this before, and then, like, going into the actual jail. And you ended up going booked in. And you ended up going to actual jail, which is very strange for underage drinking it is

and i think i remember you telling the story but you didn't go into like full full detail of like yeah i think i think back then i was like still so afraid of like a my mom specifically in my family right being like what the fuck are you doing yeah and then b i think i was like oh shit like you know if this podcast like doesn't work out like i'm gonna have to like you know looking for a job right i'm gonna have to like go out and like try and get a job in finance again and they're gonna be like lol we saw that t-shirt you literally and then they like press play on the audio clip of you be like i got fucking arrested like i don't think so i'm laughing about now is the worst experience of my life so why don't you relive it for us

and go back down to the worst part of your life why don't you bring us through what it was like to be in jail because i know this sounds stupid but it actually fascinates me and i don't actually don't even know why i've never really fully asked you stuff but about it because like I don't know a lot of people that have been it's so crazy because I know I know you're like yeah I get it I know even sometimes when I think about it i'm like whoa you've been to jail girlfriend a true convict let's just say i stuck out like a sore thumb oh i can imagine so let's walk walk through it first of all i got arrested hours before it was about to be my birthday oh my god okay hence why i was going so hard and i thought that maybe the police would understand something like

that. It was your what? Your birthday. But I'm assuming it's not your day of birth. Alcohol. Celebration. What's the issue? I don't think you were going into your 21st, right?

I like guys. I'm celebrating my 17th birthday. But still, it's it's still a birthday. I don't remember what birthday, but but regardless even if i was turning 21 just get off our dick so it was like hours before my birthday and i'm with my friend and she's also like on my same level you know what i mean so she also is get she also had to go into the drunk tank right so at first i'm in a drunk tank and my friend is in the drunk tank next to me oh you didn't get to go in together.

No, they're not going to let you have fun. Are you kidding? We would have had the best time. That's actually so true. So I'm in there with like some very, very questionable figures. Okay. Like there's people it's they call it the drunk tank, but it can also be like the heroin tank or like a little methamphetamine tank like it's a

tank where they want you to sober up from any substance you're on so there yes there was like a girl in the corner like fucking scratching like her skin and like rocking back and forth and i'm like okay okay she's not in here for alcohol this is not just the drunk tank. So then my friend who is one of the funniest fucking people I know. What? Aside from you. You're number one. She's number two. It's like has to be close to midnight.

And all of a sudden. So this whole time we're kind of talking back and forth. We can't see each other. But I was just I'll call her like Debra. I was like Debra. Like, oh, my God, Debra. Like, Debra like oh my god Debra like are you okay and she's like yeah I can't believe this happened so we would kind of talk but yeah you had to yell back and forth right you can't see each other yes got it and all of a sudden I'm like I've been

sitting there for like three hours and I hear from the drunk tank next to me happy birthday to you happy birthday and my friend got all the fucking people in her drunk tank to sing me happy birthday yes that is so and then the people in my tank were like is it your birthday and i was like yeah and then everyone started singing and then like a cop came by with like a baton or whatever and like smacked it was like shut up and then we had to stop but like it was a really cute moment oh my god i would like to think if i was in jail with you i would do that for you yeah you get to really see how your friends act when you're in the hard time it was really sweet so then this and the funny thing is like i'm still in the drunk tank i haven't even like gotten into this and you didn't even know

at this point so you're going to jail. No, I thought they were about to do this. Do the usual. Just let me out and let me go do my thing. OK, so I'm still in the drunk tank. And I see the the officer come over to my friend's drunk tank. And they're like, Deborah, like, come with us. And they lead her out.

And I literally watched her walk out of there and, like, go home. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. And, like, there is nothing more painful than being behind, like, a fucking glass cage and seeing your friend just, like, peace the fuck out. Oh, my God. i think she even like turned around and like waved at me and i was like oh my god it's so terrifying so now you're all alone all alone i go into the pit what's the pit the pit there's these stairs that go down into a pit essentially it's just like a big concrete open room that everyone can like go in after

they've like sobered up quote unquote and then from there the officers will like call you up and like give you your sentencing or whatever sentencing classic love that i go up for my sentencing and the guy is like we are gonna call your mother and at that moment in time i was older than 18 but not yet 21 okay and i was so terrified of my mom finding out right that i and i was over 18 so i told the officer i was like officer um i actually don't want to like get my mother involved like let's I don't want to do that or something yeah and he got so pissed oh no that he was like oh really he was like all right well then you can just like go back and I was like wait what he was like yeah you can just go back so he like sent me back into the pit I think little power trip next thing I know I'm getting booked into jail

you're like I don't want my mom involved they're like okay you're going to jail and then i think there was like an issue because like my last name like i had recently been adopted by my stepdad so then the last name like they thought i was like using an alias or i don't even fucking know i don't know there was like something with the system and were you going on a trip okay so this is where it gets really good oh so they're like you're getting booked in and i am terrified yeah and they take me into this room and they start taking my fingerprints and the officer in there i can't even believe it I had a trip to Mexico literally like two days later okay and like an idiot I look at the officer and I'm like officer I have to go to Cancun Mexico in like two days so like this isn't gonna work for me like this is where I'm gonna be out soon right

because like I gotta go pack yeah i need to go shopping for my trip in cancun he's like oh you are now fucked and he did not like that sofia so then i know i was like so stupid and naive and then he was like oh sweetheart you're gonna be in here for like a few days you're're not going to make it to your trip. And I was like, what the fuck? Excuse me, what? And he was like, yeah, it's a holiday, which the 24th of July in Utah is like Pioneer Day or some shit. And it's like a bigger holiday than like the 4th of July there. I've never heard of Pioneer Day in my motherfucking life. It's such a Utah holiday wow you're like biggest holiday pioneer

day Utah it goes down so it was essentially a long weekend is what he was telling me and I was like sir I'm in here for underage drinking like I think you've made a mistake yeah and he's like well you know that's just how it is like the booking it's gonna be backed up because of the holiday and people aren't working and whatever. Pretty much just like having such a power trip and trying to like scare the fuck out of me. Wow.

Okay. I just can't even explain the fear at this moment in time because like I am actually now getting booked in. So what happened next is they tell me to take all my clothes off. Not the guy. Classic. He's like, suck my my dick that's how you're gonna get out of here oh my god you needed the podcast back then you could have been like

for me to get out of here that's probably fucked up i bet you they kind of do do that shit oh probably guards and shit that's disgusting okay no i wish that he gave me that option instead i was stuck with the woman no so then they i get led into this other room and i'm with this lady and she's like you need to get naked classic i'm like okay she has me do the bend over and cough no people think that's a joke she had me bend over and cough to make sure like i wasn't smuggling anything i had extensions in my hair oh i think you mentioned that in the old story. Yes. Yes. These ratchet extensions, but they were like my prized possession.

I spent so much money on them. And she's putting her hands through my hair. And she's like, oh, wow. Like, we're going to have to like cut these out probably. And I'm like, oh, honey. Honey. You're not getting some fucking like dull scissors and like giving me a fucking bob with like patches in your head so i'm freaking out they put me in the orange jumpsuit oh my god

they give you like these little vans they even like take your underwear dude oh like i like they had they had to hand me like these granny panties that i had to wear i bet you looked so cute though i was i i will say i was like one of the cuter people so i mean like i will say though like the orange contrast with like my hair extensions like i did look pretty fly my extensions were fucked at that point it was like a rat nest i was like oh my god so wait do you get handcuffed i'm oh yeah oh yeah i mean i was already like handcuffed like to be let into the drunk tank so then i'm like bawling my eyes out they put me in this other room and there's two other like women in there okay and we were in this room for fucking so long one of them became

my friends because this is what happened i heard her go into the next room and they felt her hair and they were like is this your hair like asking her like is it yours your hair extensions and this fucking lady she goes um i paid for it it's my fucking hair you best believe i was like this bitch is my best friend in the entire world why did i think of that so oh wait was it what was her name again I remember I think it was Leticia you kind of made friends yes and she dude this is like out of a movie she sits there with me and she starts telling me like how to survive in there like she's like girl like keep to yourself keep your head down like don't be making eye contact this is not a joke she's like telling me these things and she's like, girl, like keep to yourself. Keep your head down. Like don't be making eye contact.

This is not a joke. She's like telling me these things. And she's like, the number one thing to not do is to tell people why you're in there. I feel like I see that in movies. Yeah. She's like, don't let people know like what you're in for. Because people will ask you like, don't tell them. Right.

So then it's a bunch of women. We're all handcuffed and we all have to walk single file for, I swear, it was like miles. And like they're walking us to the actual jail. And at one point there were like all these dudes from like the guy section of the jail that were like all handcuffed walking in single file. And we had to like walk past them. And every single one is like, ooh, mommy. Oh my God god i like it

it's literally from a movie from a movie i was like go be shitting yourself i'm like i don't belong here i was only drinking yeah literally that's pretty fucked up so i go into the jail i go into my actual cell and it's not like a jail cell where it's like the metal bars okay always imagine they're like these huge super heavy doors that it's just like a big window type okay like glass yeah okay and they're like um machine operated so it will just like bolt shut and then like bolt open so like there's no fucking getting out or in oh that's kind of claustrophobic feeling it is so i go in there and cue fucking crackhead carrie i think infamous i think i talked about this yes i go in i see where is she now i see the top bunk is um occupied occupied thank you that was the word and then i go

into the bottom bunk and i lay down and i pretty much do the last thing that you're supposed to do and i'm like hey um my name's sophia and i'm just like really scared like classic literally leticia 30 minutes before it's like don't ever let anyone see you weak and Sophia's like I am scared and I was just like I shouldn't be in here like I'm like telling her my life story and she literally there's like silence and then she goes why are you scared it's better in here than it is out there and I'm like okay see Carrie that's where you and i are not the same we are not the same we come from two different worlds because what the fuck holy fuck she at one point came like crawling down it was after they had given us food they just like will like slide underneath the door

repulsive like i couldn't i think i had like a bite of the bread and i was like i can't and she good skinny peaked over yeah so that was great but so she peeks over and she's like are you gonna eat that and i'm like carrie no it's fine you can have it she comes crawling down from the top bunk and her face is like covered in sores she is like five pounds she is a fucked up individual so that was my cellmate and she just started eating your food yes gross so then they give you breaks when you're in jail i was fucking in there for a while people are like how did you like all this time that's so wild because the way you used to describe the story you went through it so fast that it was like because the way you used to describe the story you went

through it so fast that it was like it seemed pretty short no i didn't realize you're in it for the long haul going through the breaks i think where people usually die they get like stabbed right that's what i'm always seeing you wouldn't have even left your room i was i booked it out of my room the second they gave you a break because they had phones that you could use. And I was like, I'm being mistreated. Like, this is insane. Like, I'm in here. There's literally like murders in here.

The girl that I like got booked in with, like she was in there for like beating the shit out of her kid and like her kid was in the hospital or something. And I'm like, I had too many tequila shots. Get me the fuck out okay so when you go on break what are other than phone calls like what else can did you do when you go on break so there's two levels okay and the around the big room is like all the jail cells and then when you go on break you can just like go in the middle okay there's one tv in the corner classic and it's just playing like jerry springer like some bullshit there's like some like metal chairs love that there i think

there's like a place you can play chess you can go outside and like walk just like around and like get fresh air no then there's phones then there's actually like a cardboard box filled with books. Oh. And that's what I did. Oh. Sophia. Surprising us all on Call Her Daddy today. Hi. Sophia's like, I read through five books during my time. Wait, you read? I had so much fear and anxiety at that moment. Like I've never been more scared, honestly, in my entire life.

Right. Because I was like, is this about to be one of those situations where people are like convicted wrongly and like have to be stuck in jail forever like you know that shit absolutely absolutely there are people like on death row that didn't even commit the crimes and i'm like what the fuck is about how long am i gonna be in here like i had no idea reading kind of took your mind off so i was like it's actually kind of it's kind of it's like the only thing that's calming me down right now or i'm just sitting there freaking the fuck out right thinking about it so when you tried to call so i try to call and they don't give you your fucking cell phone to look up a phone number oh so you're calling numbers you have memorized and like that's

kind of crazy because back in the day i would memorize my mom's cell phone in my home phone but like nowadays other than that i don't know i don't know your cell phone number i don't know yours so the other thing is that the calls are really hard they like don't really function properly unless you're calling a landline jesus christ unless you had a calling card or something it was like something like that i just remember i kept trying to make phone calls to my at that point my fucking mom right you're like fuck it she can know i'm yeah they're like trying to fucking keep me here so then i called my mom like over and over and over and like i kept hearing her be like hello and then like the call like wouldn't work oh my god and so i was like do i know any fucking landline phone numbers

no no so then i started to freak out even more and i'm like i can't even get in contact with like the outside world dude i would like this i would be bawling my eyes oh i was like freaking after a while you like can't even cry anymore after a while you're like what the fuck all right yeah i just cried for 10 hours right so then there's like people around me that are like imagine the type of people in there do like there were people i was talking to like later on when i was like i guess i live here now i'm gonna just like make friends with people i gotta find my new crew there was like um a couple of people i spoke to like there was this girl that was like yeah how long are you in for and i was like i don't know i have

no fucking clue how long are you in here for and she's like oh I just got booked and I'm gonna be here for a year and I'm like okay so then I see that there is a flyer for bail bondsman there's like a bunch of them and I'm like I don't know if I just need bail to get out because like I don't really know like what's going on but if it's like bail and i can't get through like my family who would obviously pay it right i guess i'll fucking just pay two percent three percent or more interest and fucking use a bail bondsman because who else am i going to talk to right so then i call this bail bondsman i was like i am so happy that i'm finally talking to someone i need you to please look into the situation and tell me what's going on. So then this guy is like, sweetie, like I can hear it in your voice that you're like extremely scared. I really, really need you to calm down. I just looked into your

record. You'll be released like within the next like six hours. Oh, great. So then at that point, I'm like, it calmed me down. I just spoke to someone like I am going to get out of here. They're not just going to keep me in here. Right. It sounds to you, which I totally get. Your biggest concern or fear was that you were scared that you were going to be in there for and like your case was going to get fucked up and you were going to wrongfully be like in there for longer than you're supposed to be.

My fear and you probably could already predict what my fear would be. I would be so fucking terrified of like someone like slashing me i or hurting me or something i wanted someone to hurt me so that i would have to be transferred to the hospital so that i could then like speak to like my family okay i am not kidding like i that did not scare me at all. I was like, I need to get in contact with the outside world. You were really low. Holy shit. I was really low. Oh, wow.

I didn't give a fuck. In fact, in fact, this is how like fucked up. Okay. They go around before you get booked in. They ask you, they're like, okay, so are you prescribed any medication that like you write that it's like a necessity for you to be taking? And I literally straight face and like, yes, like a milligram of xanax a day or i like said yes i am prescribed xanax i didn't give a shit because i was like i don't even know how long i'm gonna have

to be in here fucking give me xanax so i don't actually have like a panic attack and i'm never the same oh my god and then you know me the last thing i would want to do is take that because if i was not on high alert at every so yeah like passed out in a fucking cell doesn't give a fuck if someone kills her i'm in the corner like alert as fuck oh well see that's where we're a little different there yeah okay wow so how long were you really in there oh i honestly don't know i think like i this whole thing was in two hours but to me it felt like imagine no i was definitely in there like close to like 24 hours i want to say like it was insane dude like towards the end like towards the last few hours like i was like just kind of being like all right like this is this is what it's gonna be this is it here i am interesting wow yeah and then

who picked you up oh my mom was right outside right outside she had just been like fucking waiting and i just like crying dude oh and the other thing my mom was right it's so dramatic because there's no windows right right right and so like they let you outside after you've been in an environment like that for like 24 hours and all of a sudden like there was grass and like sunlight and i was like oh and i like started bawling and it's also very strange to leave like they're like go through that door and follow the arrows until you're out and like you have to follow these arrows i swear to God for like a mile. What the fuck?

They like, it feels like a maze. I'm like, what? And then you open the door and there was your mother. Yeah. What was her expression? She was like,

get in the fucking car. You're hoping she's like crying. No, but then she could tell I was like next level fucked up. And she like gave me a hug. And she was like, she's like, Pat, Pat,

Kay, fuck you. You're dead. But's like hey fuck you you're dead but like i'm sure you're pretty fucking dude there's like even more shit went down and i even met more people but that's that that is something that i can't i couldn't have told that story because i have no fucking idea what it's like to be in jail. You really bring a different perspective to the podcast with that little insider info. I mean, I don't know. I guess we can have Daddy Yang write in,

but I don't know that many people, like I said earlier, that have been to jail. I understand, Alex. Thank you. You're like, yes, we get it, please. I get it. But I appreciate you walking us through that because I thought that's really fucking interesting.

I mean, one of our own guys just in the slammer in jail orange jumpsuit once again i'm discussing this so that i can warn all the kiddos out there be extremely careful when you're drinking because they could book you into fucking jail and you may have no idea when you're getting out that's how i like scare my kids into yeah not drinking yeah you're gonna have to bend over and cough and have your asshole cheeks spread open okay i know people are like wow like your history and like having that mugshot like how are you an example for your kids and i'm like i'm that's a perfect that's a perfect my daughter's gonna be like holy shit i don't want to look anything like that what a fucking loser my mom was i'm not doing that

and then you show her your sex podcast and she's like oh you're pretty fucking dope all right all right you made money off your mugshot dope dope dope okay cool cool cool it's a great way to spin it mom all right okay thanks sophia i appreciate you for sharing that with me slithering slithering snake gryffindor ravenclaw i don't think puffle puff sex is that we meant to say sex sex guys it's that time of the day get your wieners out get your lube ready oh so so the other day i was about to do the coitus what the fuck is that that means sex look it up oh really yes and i was in a mood oh well i was horny well yeah but i was also uh very stressed and i was like kind of having anxiety and i was like i just need to get my nut you know i really sound like a man squirrel from ice age get the goddamn fucking nut but i just wanted to have an orgasm and i was like i really think that could like

change the trajectory of the day i'm having the stress level could go down but what i knew is like in order for me to like completely relax during this sexual experience that was going to be difficult for me to do at that moment in time okay so i just like want to bring this up because i think like a lot of girls will understand this right off the bat I asked a guy to bring a vibrator into the bedroom okay why because I really didn't have it in me to be doing the amount of foreplay and teasing and like slowly easing into the sex that like I need in order to have an orgasm right and I was like let's I just kind of like want to have a no. I just like kind of want to, I don't know.

Like maybe just like once when I get fucked. Right. Like God forbid, I just want it once. No, but I just, I kind of just want to have a no quickly and efficiently. Right.

I love that. And so I was like, let's bring a vibrator. So that's a, because I think sometimes like that's what women want. Like, yeah, obviously we,

I would say for the most part kind of want it to be a good amount of time of course and even a long time i would argue right but sometimes there are moments where a girl just wants it to be like well yeah i agree i think like obviously when you're masturbating in your room like you can have an orgasm way faster obviously right and control it rather than if you're having sex with the guy and relying on him yeah not that he's not going to do a good job but like no you know it's not going to happen very quickly most of the time yes so you took matters into your own hands yes vibrator great so we're using a vibrator this guy pulled out a move that was so incredible okay so men listen the fuck up yes he was going down on me okay and he took the vibrator and it was like after he had like eased me into it a little bit he just goes straight into

it right but he grabbed the vibrator and he set it on top like towards the top of my vagina okay so like a little tiny bit above the clit maybe touching the top of the clit okay and so he's holding the vibrator there and he's eating me out okay and it was this feeling on my clit that is so magnificent so unbelievable magical and it was like an earth-shattering orgasm and it was like one of the best i've ever had wow so whoa at first i i was trying to figure out why right and i was like is it just because there was like some vibration on like my pubic area plus him eating me out and i ended up asking him about it and he was like no what i was doing is i was placing the very tip of the vibrator onto my tongue so that as i was eating you out my tongue was like vibrating on your clit. Wait, that is so fucking hot. And it was the best orgasm ever.

It was like so incredible. And I want every fucking guy to be doing it. Yeah. Hold on. That is so fucking smart because I feel like a lot of men, when they think about vibrators, bringing them into the bedroom, I think a lot of times they think that that means that they don't really like they shouldn't fully interact with it on their end. It's like the vibrators over here. My dick's over here. Yeah. And he was like using his tongue and the vibrator to get a vibration on his tongue.

Right. And do it on your clit. Yes. Holy. So it was like the three amigos. Him, me and the vibrator. So he really embraced the vibrator life. A lot of girls have like been writing in like, can you fucking talk about how to make it

easier for women to have orgasms? And like, this is a great tip. Yeah. I think that first of all, we've always talked about how sometimes guys get awkward with bringing sex toys into the bedroom because they're like little bitch boys and they're like, does that mean I'm not doing a good job? And it's like, shut the fuck the fuck up no that's not it i think that this is such a good one because he technically is in control the vibrator isn't really taking over

his part of the sexual act if anything is just enhancing it and he's doing it in a strategic way that like his tongue is still doing the work. The vibrator isn't fully even doing all the work, but he's using it to enhance like his tongue and like on your clit. So I think for men, I think this is one of the best things I've heard in a while of how to incorporate a vibrator and like stay in tune with her and yourself and the vibrator all while making it work. This is kind of like a random point that i just wanted to bring up but like i know a lot of girls write in and they struggle with having orgasms without

vibrators now because they're it's almost like they say like their clit is like decent yeah like they're so used to the strong force of a vibrator that when they go to have like a guy eating them out or like using their finger on their clit it's like so much less intense yeah i kind of i don't want to say that that's a myth i think what it is more so is like you have now become accustomed right to having your orgasms that way and you know what it probably is now that i'm thinking about it i bet girls maybe they aren't able to come with a guy and so they go in the bedroom and they try to have an orgasm with a vibrator and then they have one but they still have never had an orgasm without the vibrator right if you've only ever had an orgasm with a vibrator how are you gonna have one right

you know like you haven't tried the other way so maybe also try occasionally like with your fingers i mean i will say i think it's easier to have an orgasm with a vibrator. I agree. But I wouldn't just assume that like now you can't have orgasms with men. Right. Right. It just takes work and effort to have one. It does. It does. I still see girls writing in saying that they haven't had orgasms.

They're still faking their orgasms. And I think we should talk about that next week actually. Because oh my God. How long ago is that? We had the whole episode that like really shook people when we were like girls fake right a lot of their fucking orgasms and obviously they're gonna be the girls that are like i don't do that but it's like yeah there's like a lot of shame around that and it's like girls come on so we can get into it next week so deleting pictures of your ex we have said in the past that you need to be deleting every

picture with your ex on instagram we have a fucking update bitches we changed our fucking mind we did and we're allowed to but only for men sorry ladies i know this is specifically going to be for men So men listen up You've got an ex-girlfriend okay We are gonna say Men can keep one picture With an ex-girlfriend If And it's a big fucking if It's a huge if If

She was so fucking hot Oh this is when we get in trouble This is when people start to not like you like yes so much listen i if a guy has a hot ex-girlfriend it makes him more desirable it raises his value in other girls eyes unfortunately i want to clarify the once again one picture yeah because if you have more than one picture up it it's just going to look like you are still in love with her. And I totally agree.

And I think that it's also huge for guys that if you like outkicked your coverage and like you got a girl that's hotter than you keep the one picture because that makes you so much hotter. Yeah. I, this kind of, this kind of came up because i'm talking to a guy right now and before i met him in person i was stalking him obviously on instagram and he is like a attractive guy but as i scrolled the fuck down i saw he still has two pictures with his ex-girlfriend which led me to believe he's still love if there was one i would be like he's bending the rules a little but she was really fucking hot

and it made him that much hotter and it made you insecure it made me insecure and it made you like him more and i was in love you were i was upset you're like he's dating a fucking alex 2.0 yes so i need to get the fuck in there she was blonde like the whole thing so i ended up bringing it up to him and i was like later on obviously not like the first time we talked and yeah as we got more comfortable and i was like oh jokingly saying you're still in love with your ex and then i was like no it's actually pretty a good tactic because like you having a hot ex is good and he was like yeah that's why i do it and i was like oh so it's calculated and he's like absolutely yeah like i know like girls are gonna see and they're gonna be like oh he had a hot ass girlfriend you're dating a genius

a genius yeah and then I'm a genius so it's two geniuses together it's beautiful scary combo so yeah let it be known that you've dated the creme de la creme you know what I mean the creme de la creme also hot tip if you are the hot ex-girlfriend and he's keeping the picture up of you for clout you better fucking report that shit over and over and over and go tell him knock it off not use my hotness to your advantage literally put it on your story and be like everyone please go report this picture i need it to be taken down that's's a really good idea. Yeah. I think that it's this is the thing. I guess we can explain why you should impose your busted fucking ex-girlfriend. Yeah.

On the flip side, if you have really only dated like fours and below, keep that shit to your fucking self. Honestly, even if she was just like a six, a seven. If she wasn't. I agree. No. You know what? Thank you for putting that out.

It's true. Unless she was a stunner where every girl that sees her is gonna be like oh fuck like right i'm insecure like i don't know if i'm gonna be considered hotter than his ex that is when you keep the pictures up because right because even if she's like a little bit above average the new girl you're dating will somehow make herself feel like she's hotter and then it's just not gonna work yeah it's not a competition and then like you're not hard to get there's a whole process for women behind it totally and it sucks but i think yeah i think that's like the rule i don't care if that fucking golem ass bitch was like a

huge part of your life erase it erase her erase it erase whatever it was keep let your mom keep the pictures on the fridge at home you gotta delete everything off of instagram you just your stock goes way down it does you can't risk and listen i'm sure she was a great girl and you had great memories and like usually those are the more wholesome bitches or crazier in bed right it doesn't matter doesn't matter if she's not cute she's getting off your instagram i know this to be be true because I was actually into a guy for a minute. Okay. And he started showing me all of the girls that he had dated or like fucked.

Right. Which people are like, that's very strange. No, it's not. If you're dating me, it's not strange at all. Sophia at first date is like, show me every girl you've ever fucked. I have guys by the third date like scrolling through Instagram showing me everybody.'s like pull it up and pull it out yes okay well not the pull it out the pull it up okay and he was showing me pictures and i was like should i leave like what am i doing here there was a six there was a four there was a five i was like what the fuck is going on i just

was like i am way out of his league yeah and i just started treating him like complete dog shit oh that's nice sophia that's really nice hey i used to date sixes you're a piece of i'm kidding i didn't treat him like dog shit but like i walked around a little bit more like you're lucky that i'm here you kind of had a little bit of stuff you know because you knew it was like oh you better be grateful yeah i even stayed exactly for the main course yep okay so you you you had a little chip on your shoulder he should have just lied right he should have just showed me candace swaney opal yeah and then like i got in and around that shit well then i wouldn't have yeah true he wasn't that cool yeah but I agree with you it's like don't don't go around proud and

happy like and look at this one and look at this one and you're like by the end I was like stop stop you're embarrassing yourself and you just went from a fucking eight to a hard four and everyone shut the fuck up because we've said it before I have been a five in a guy's eyes and then I've been a nine in a guy's eyes. It's all relative to the person you're hooking up with. So in this situation, Sophia sitting here, wait, am I way out of this league? Yes. If he had been showing you hot ass girls, you would have been like, holy fuck.

I would have been like, I'm naked. I'm naked. And your dick is ready to go. It is so superficial. It is. But it's just the way the world works yeah i think that's interesting i think if you did have an ugly ex or a not as attractive ex then i wouldn't go parading her around and showing her no um i would yeah bury her and don't let anyone know unfollow

so no one can find the links i'm tag every picture you're tagging so the new girl can't find her. This girl never exists. Girls are going to be like, why did my ex randomly unfollow me and block me from everything? And literally erase every single picture known to man. Sorry, girls. And this is the thing. It doesn't work for girls. It doesn't work for girls.

On the flip side, unfortunately, it doesn't apply to girls because no man is going to go to a girl's Instagram. And base her hotness level off of a guy she dated. Yeah, it's just. Yeah. If anything, it would be based on status of the guy like that they would more care about. Guys aren't going to look at an ex and be like, oh, he's hot. If he happened to be like a famous actor. If she dated like a high profile guy.

Then maybe a really superficial like douchebag guy would probably care absolutely i think that there are some people in the world that it's like oh shit like she dated diplo like okay yeah i like she's hotter now yeah but that's also like very circumstantial but for the most part girls guys are not gonna look at your pictures and be like whoa her ex is so hot right and it's not insecure it's not going to make the guy think that you are hotter right he just might think you're a little bit you've got something going on yeah something the voodoo clam is an extra little voodoo exactly the voodoo s yes of the voodoo friend of the clam okay moving on Prendele clan. Okay. Moving on. Stop. Stop.

Questions of the week. Week of the week. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. Questions of the week. i'm literally quitting this podcast wait someone i told you this guy someone wrote into me this guy and was like you go from like an eight and a nine to a point one when you do questions of the week you get so ugly i always think that it's so annoying and over the top. And Alex is always like, no, people DM me and say it's amazing. And I'm like, I'm sure there are like silent sufferers out there that just don't say anything.

I look at the good DMs. There's a lot of people out there that probably like mute this part. They're like, God, here she goes again. Okay. Okay, guys, I'm going to pop this one off with a fucking wild story. Okay. It's really fucking weird. And I want to know if this has ever happened to you.

Okay. Okay. This girl goes, hey, daddies. I have a question for you two and all the other fathers. So everyone listen up. Let us know if this happened to you. Have you ever experienced sleep fucking this is like sleepwalking but a whole lot wetter anyways this is my story about discovering it one night my man and i were laying in bed about to go to sleep as i'm rubbing his chest and i start going towards his dick and

start playing with it he then tells me that he's super tired and he just doesn't want to start that right now. So me being the sex fiend I am, I don't stop and I just continue playing with it. Then he fell asleep. I stopped playing with him, but minutes later he is moaning and saying how much he wants my pussy. I start laughing because he is thrusting the air full boner acting like he's fucking me. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to make this a little bit more enjoyable for him. And then I go down to his dick and I start wrapping my lips around it. He is now thrusting his dick into my throat, moaning my name, dead ass asleep. I go to grab a condom as he still humps the air.

I put it on and I got on top of him. As he was still thrusting, he wraps his arms around me super tight and started pounding me. When I start kissing his neck, he suddenly squeezed my body into his screaming oh baby yes at that moment he woke up realized he was fucking me and it was so great i'm honestly so curious if anybody has experienced this thank you fathers for being the highlight of my week look at your face wait what did he have an did she say if he had an orgasm no but they were full-blown fucking and like he was asleep and then like mid fuck thrust he like woke up i kind of could see it because there is something like when men fall asleep a lot of them they fucking fall asleep they are out they are

out like a light yes and it's annoying but they out. Is that also like kind of fucked up? Wait, I was going to say. But also, I kind of like it. Me too. Totally, girl, good for you for taking the initiative. But technically, he's unconscious. And so you getting on top of. Do you remember when I did that?

Yeah. I'm like, guys, the hottest move is when he's asleep. I kind of like it because like you could have sex with them without having to like. Okay. I kind of love this

because they're unconscious. It's really. This is not something we could talk about without sounding like actual predators. Yeah. Predatorial, but hot.

Okay. That's really interesting. So I don't know. I've never personally had this happen to me but i guess uh people write in and let us know if this has happened to you sleep sex huh i want to know if he came me too you know yeah it seems like you really like this one you're like i love this when they're knocked the fuck out it's the best time to go in oh that's a nice okay okay i read an extremely disturbing uh question last week yes

where a guy fucked a girl's eye socket where her eyeball was supposed to be gotta love it romance so i have had multiple people write in to me and i need to just find it oh take your time this nurse wrote in people fuck other holes too i'm a nurse and there are some people who have a colostomy and then in parentheses basically their intestines end in a hole in the side of their abdomen where their poop will collect in a bag and people actually fuck the hole shut the fuck up and then i had another nurse write me who said have you heard of a philadelphia sidecar what you're from philadelphia are you into this you know anyone into this alex tell us um it's when a guy fucks a person through their colostomy hole i'm probably saying that wrong i'm a physician's assistant in surgery and my surgeon told me that he had

a prostitute as a patient who was shot while giving a guy head because she basically gave him too much teeth so he shot her and the guy wait with a gun so he shot her her and the guy. Wait, with a gun? So he shot her. Oh, and the guy shot her and this prostitute needed this colostomy bag. And in most cases, colostomies are reversible. But in the world of prostitution, men pay extra to fuck them through it. So she decided not to reverse it because it paid the bills better shut the fuck so guys hold on guys that makes me like queasy i know i'm still a little confused about where

the hole is i guess it's just a hole here it's literally in your stomach i remember one of my well she is from philadelphia she's like one of my friends did get fucked their philadelphia sidecar no it's um uh someone that's like not fully related to me but i know they got in a motorcycle accident and they were fucked up from it and they had to get that thing so they like literally can't urinate and poop on their own and so you have that it goes into that and you have a full-blown like circle in your stomach okay so i guess guys but and i guess guys fuck it and this prostitute is making more money by having that as an option so like her stock skyrocketed because there was another hole introduced so get out there and get that the whole i fucking hate it's fucked up we ought to move on because we're gonna piss some people

off okay i'm gonna just read a normal one okay thank you I like this big fan of the show I fell in love with a girl she left her cheating ex to be with me we spent the entire summer together every day went on vacation we met each other's family said I love you every day she recently left me to go back to her ex for unknown reasons that her friends and family do not support and neither do i obviously number one should i even try and get her back and number two does buying gifts work for girls who go back to their exes like you suggested in a previous episode fyi she texts or snaps me at least once or twice a week since it ended three months ago i need help daddies okay we suggested that they should buy gifts i think we did we said if there's like a

breakup right but she's like full-blown but she like ditched him it wasn't the other way around right so usually it's like if you fucked up yeah if you fucked up you buy the gift you shouldn't be go buying her well actually depending on the gift so if he's like depending on the bag i'm dead serious depending okay this is how i'm gonna answer depending on how shallow this girl is yeah that's true and b depending on this gift like if a guy's gonna like you know throw a ferrari you know onto my driveway i'm not gonna be mad yeah i might i might go back to that dick as opposed to the new one gold digging horse don't care um i think that the thing is is obviously this girl likes to is going back to her cheating ex so she kind of like has something with self-esteem and likes to

get treated kind of like shit so maybe you kind of take a different approach you could even get her like a nice gift and then kind of call her like a fucking whore like get her roses and then have a card and then when she opens the card it says like you're a filthy slut yeah fuck off fuck off choke on a dick and die yeah i like that call her daddy today is off with the good fucking advice yeah get surgery get a hole so you can get fucked in that one and then you should send flowers with a you're a whore card okay i'm sorry what were you really gonna say you said no i think that's really smart take the take the approach that her ex was right i think that maybe there i mean we always talk about it having someone that's

comfortable and really nice to you and then she's going back to the dick ex maybe you switch up your communication with her when she reaches out don't be so nice leave her on red and then if she does say something to you like what's going on johnny you're gonna just be like you're you left for your fucking ex like why don't you go talk to him like go get fulfilled by him like i'm going and trying to fuck other girls like please stop ruining my day like i mean we're telling you like the ways if you absolutely want her back like the healthy thing to do for you is treat her like shit and no alex no i was gonna say if you if if someone what is that quote it's like if you love something let it go if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't come back it was never yours to to begin with that was a good one is that how it goes i like it if you have a self-esteem you don't want this yeah fuck her fuck that ex fuck them all all right i've got

another disturbing one we're just fucked up this week i'm like still not over halloween kind of yeah it's like heading into christmas i need to switch that i'm like still not over halloween kind of yeah it's like heading into christmas i need to switch that i'm gonna do like some like festive festive like nice like like you know like wholehearted wholesome girl things yeah yeah yeah hey so i have a story wondering if you know anything about this i was hooking up with a guy and giving him head and next thing i know i go to you know suck on his balls and they were literally not there like in his groin and the sack was empty next thing i know he legit pushes them back down into his ball sack and i almost passed out have you girls ever experienced that or did

i just get a deformed guy i I think I may have to run. They were in his groin? They were like up. And he like slid them through a canal? Yeah, and then like dropped them down. That's not. You've never heard of that? Oh, no.

Okay. I thought that was so interesting. I don't know why. Can you imagine? Dude. I would be like so interesting. I don't know why. Can you imagine? Dude. I would be like, whoa. Hey. Nice to see you guys.

That was just like a short little quick thing and I was wondering if you ever heard of it. I've never. Daddy gang, right? I said I've never. Yeah. All right. Okay. This is a normal one too.

You guys say DMs work as a tool for getting dates. But as someone who has never used Instagram and has a blank profile, could this still be used as an effective strategy? I'm a reasonable fellow and objectively very handsome with a great dick. However, social media is a weak point for me. I'm not very social on it and I don't know how to appear cool through the internet a solid nine in person yeah a zero online should i even bother no one is gonna be like yeah i'm gonna come meet you to a blank instagram account with no fucking profile picture is screaming like the next literally 60 minutes murder trial so unfortunately as much as

you may be a nine yeah they're expecting a two fucking creepy ass motherfucker that's gonna take advantage of them so yeah what i want to tell this guy even if a guy dm'd me from a blank blank profile and even if he was like hey i know my instagram comes off super creepy like let's facetime i would still be like no fuck no absolutely not absolutely not what am i getting on facetime so what i want to tell this guy is put in a little bit of effort into your social media will go a long fucking way for your dick game yes because you that's how people are fucking live through instagram absolutely and you may be a good looking guy and you're like having success in um person with girls but obviously there's a reason that you good looking guy and you're like having success in um person with girls

but obviously there's a reason that you're looking for um you know the instagram row and it like we always say a millionaire has how many different streams of revenue if you're a hot guy milf hunter has talked about it make sure you have all these different ways that you can get access to girls totally and then you're you're gonna be able to fuck more totally and it's a goal just quickly i mean we could do like a whole this is a whole topic but just like this is all you need you need five pictures that include you yep okay yep they can't all be selfies nope some of them you need to be with like other human beings fucking hire people i don't care literally then if you want so that your instagram doesn't look as creepy add in like five photos of shit you like like artsy photos not a car no where did you travel did you go to

switzerland exactly post it and your captions can literally be no caption or an emoji right that's it that's fine done and then get your friends to follow you done and if you don't have friends then fake account fake account and buy some followers okay boom boom there you go god we're too good it's just too good it's just like boom boom bam bam buy the followers get the account get the whole if you're a prostitute buy your lamborghini flowers like what i don't even know what we just said i mean come on the advice all right daddy gang we love you guys go rate us five stars please and write a review unless it's gonna be mean then just kind of keep it to yourself sometimes i think when we say this you guys are just like it's like we say it every week so it

doesn't mean much to you it means a lot to us yeah it means a lot because we you know a lot of people are trying to shut us down yeah there's we have enough like support behind us then we won't get shut down and that's not even a joke that's not a joke so i think sometimes you guys think it's a joke but like it's not it's true so that five star really helps us out we rub people the wrong way i don't know why i I don't get it. But so if you guys could do that, that would be awesome. You know, a little Christmas present to us. Yeah.

But we love you guys and we will see you next week. Yes. Starting to get in the Christmas mood a little. I'm going to bring something a little Christmassy for next week. Maybe we should stop with the fucked up stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of like ease into the good church. Well, no, we'll keep doing it. All right, guys. Bye, daddies. We will see you next week. Bye, daddies