Call Her Daddy - 69- Episode 69 (ft. Chlamydia)

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

The episode you have all been waiting for... and we have been dreading. 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy what's up motherfuckers it is alex and sophia back at it again call her daddy dad not him not him not them nope not your daddy not yours not mine her daddy like people haven't been listening to her daddy did you guys know we're back at it again we have new microphones i these are great they're kind of bigger we should sound better quality wise probably not content wise but just the sound of our voices i think we should just get right into it i think we should rip the band-aid off and i think we should just address what's happening yes we want to acknowledge the hit piece that was published um a few days ago by the new york post um can you read the title oh yes it's a good one um the title is spoiled podcast fembots attack new york post

for giving them publicity okay so the spoiled fembots that's alex that's us that's us by the way guys um yeah just a quick update so if you guys know last week on episode 68 sophia and i kind of dived into our experience a year ago with the New York Post yeah and our we had our first big photo shoot and we poked a little bit of fun we poked yeah you know this is a comedy podcast the New York Post did not like it nope nope they didn't like it at all no well at least this author of this article didn't right right right they roast us guys wrote they it was a hit piece it was meant to be a complete assassination assassination and you know as we do we're

gonna draw more attention to it you know we love there's probably so many people that are like what what do you mean we're like guys hit piece we are gonna do a swipe up go read let us know your thoughts highlight your favorite parts i don't know why we do this for ourselves but okay so basically i'm gonna go ahead and just read a couple lines so that you guys who haven't read the article can get a feel for kind of what we're dealing with in this article the groove of it all yeah yeah yeah okay so maybe somebody should really call their daddies and their mommies who can teach them some manners. In December 2018, the paper arranged to give the Canal Street Kardashians a platform. Today, the girls behind the smutty barstool sports call her Daddy podcast came after the post. I don't listen to their show because I value wit and cleverness, none of which they possess.

Plus, I've heard from sources that they are intolerable egomaniacs with outsized impressions of themselves. But hey, more power to them. They don't affect my life. And then she continues to write two more full pages. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. They don't affect me. There's she continues to write Oh yes yes yes yes They don't affect me So this is kind of we're kicking it off

We're feeling good we're feeling flirty I want to just also preface it so you guys can Really like understand where we were when this Article dropped Sophia and I told you We were both visiting men this weekend Sitting on the plane having a little Glass of wine feeling myself Getting ready to go get fucked And then on the plane there I a little glass of wine, feeling myself, getting ready to go get fucked.

And then on the plane, there I was. And I proceeded to get absolutely fucked before I went to get physically fucked by a man by the New York Post. And I'm literally texting Sophia, who's also on a plane. And we're like, hey, girl, you see this? You see this hippie? Yes. It was just like a little bit. We were fucked before we showed up to our dick appointment.

Yeah. And I was a little sore. So it was just it was a shocker, but actually not so much because I get it. We kind of. Yeah. We're roasting a situation and they took it as us roasting. Yeah. And I always like to be totally honest on this podcast.

Okay. Where are you going? I read the Canal Street Kardashian. it's got a good line to it i was holding a fake chanel bag that i had in my left hand and my phone in my right that i had literally purchased on canal street in new york yeah and it was just like that one hurts because it was true it's like i you're literally scrolling and you're reading that line and you kind of peer down to your left clutching and you're like i just how did she know people probably don't know this about me but like i am totally think it's fine if you want to get a little fake something here and there. Oh, totally.

You know what I mean? It's fine. It's fine. It's like if you're doing the mix. I like to call it the mix and match. Like if you have a few real Chanel items and then you throw in a couple. Like the sugar daddy gets you a real one. You pair it with the fake.

You move on in life. And who's going to know? Clearly the New York Post is like the Canal Street Bandits. Sofia's walking around with a fucking fake Chanel. And then I bet you got to Mexico and you're walking around because I know people were mentioning like, oh, you guys were in the post. And Sofia's like hiding her purse behind her back. So that's like an example of something that was true. True.

True. There is truth in this article. Well, there are a lot of things kind of actually even the title as far as she wrote she's talking about us okay i would assume so there's a line where she says then they were annoyed that our photographer made them pose in a men's restroom and take 15 photos of us next to urinals. And then there's a space and it says, what proof? So I'm actually going to go ahead and say this is truth, too. So I was actually very annoyed. Yes. When I got my hair and makeup done and I was wearing heels and a little skirt and the photographer was like,

Sophia, follow me. I'm going to go ahead and have you sit on this piss-covered urinal and make a sexy face. And just be careful because there are guests coming in and out to take shits. But, like, don't even worry about that. Clamp the nose and then breathe where i go for the shot sweetheart i'm gonna ask everyone listening i want everyone to just kind of like take it in take it inward for a minute and you tell me if you would want your big debut next to a fucking urinal all right and i'll fucking wait absolutely this is the article this is a huge point and it's

true i don't i don't want to go off on a tangent but this is like this is a for real thing the new york post was like hey hey we like what you're doing actually they have never said that to us but if they were like we know that you're doing something and we would like to talk about it the thing is you're gonna have to take photos squatting on a urinal sitting on a urinal in the men's restroom i don't know i don't know you ask yourself that i don't know maybe like it wouldn't matter to each his own yes but for my own i think i would have gone and i would have worn a different outfit me too you know me too probably it wasn't sanitary what my makeup artist was 1000 intoxicated the morning of december 14th thing is is like we don't care if you're drinking

in the morning no we like support it but we just we were getting our makeup done by them and that just kind of put us in a compromising situation. And it's not fair for her to say we were lying. Was she there? Was she getting her makeup done? Did the makeup artist hand her their water bottle with brown liquid and say, do you want to get turned up this morning before your shoot and loosen up? Before you have to go hit the urinals?

Right. I don't think so so sit down and alex has been really that's what riled her up she's like you guys this is defamation like they weren't intoxicated i'm like no i basically got spit on multiple times and got a little hennessy in my mouth and i was experiencing it and i was in shock to be honest and I think maybe it affected my performance so just okay and it's fine I have definitely had a drink or two on the job it's okay it's fine she also writes you mean your careers where you talk about various forms of copulation using low brow language that makes playboy letters look like check off check off guys i did have to google a few things that she included in this article but the low brow language low brow she says that she says we use low brow language and i agree

i think we absolutely i i do too i think you know when you're talking about double penetration donkey punch a little rotisserie chicken a little threesome gluck gluck 9 000 to the back of the throat a cum shot cum dumpster little fucking cum savage reverse site clone cream pie the pussy yes i'm gonna go ahead and say it's that's that could be considered lowbrow oh yeah i'll say i'm gonna say absolutely oh my god this is fun okay i think i'm gonna kind of take it a little in a different direction and i want to get a little bit more on a serious note, but we have one issue with the article. And essentially it's where she's questioning our credibility with regard to what we have built our careers on. In this article, she's constantly poking at us, calling us potentially prudes. And she ends her entire rant by saying,

While they pride themselves on being edgy, the only thing their ill-advised rant revealed was this. They lack the basic savvy and grace to make it in this industry. And maybe, just maybe, probably definitely, they're not all that racy behind closed doors. They're just really uptight frauds. Okay, then, bitch, explain to me why I've had chlamydia before. Me too! Explain that. Riddle me that chlamydia std you get it from sex sexually transmitted disease you don't get it from being a fucking prude i know you don't and i would know that because i've had

it too and you're and you're too close your favorite fathers are here today and we never planned on letting anyone know but not allowed i don't fucking know i'm not a prude i wish i here i am chlamydia once maybe twice who knows you could have had him so many times you fucking pop a pill you're out then i'm gonna go ahead and say we're not prudes all right you don't get that by masturbating in your room alone you don't get that by masturbating in your room alone. You don't get that by wearing a condom with your husband. You usually get that by being a little frisky. Okay.

A little naughty. And I know there's one offs and I know that sometimes. But trust us, this wasn't a one off. This is not a one off. I was, I was begging for it. I was really begging for the chlamydia at this stage in my life. And that's all I'm going to say. This is perfect, actually.

I did get chlamydia. Actually, I can prove the post wrong. Honestly, chlamydia is literally like the common cold these days. You take a little Z-Pak, you're good to go. Just kidding. You take one pill it is a one anyways thank you sophia for coming today and um we're gonna move on because holy fuck guys no hard feelings at the post though we you know we love the post is fine the author not so much

and let's just post her picture i'm not all i'm gonna say is we're just gonna post her picture if you look up slut shaming in the dictionary, her picture fucking pops up. That's all I have to say. That's it. And we are. We are. I don't know what we're saying. Oh, and last thing.

Last thing. Last thing. Oh, yeah. If you guys did enjoy the article, I'm looking here at some of her other works that you can check out. You could check out her article called The Fat Bald Cat That's Becoming an Icon. And let's see here another one. A 13-year-old girl taking bull riding by storm. Oh, that's really riveting stuff. Really groundbreaking. This author just really, really no it's good this is really

good and i know a lot of traffic is probably going to be driven to the article and we just want to put out a disclaimer that the author pokes fun of quote people in wheelchairs and we as much as we're joking about how like we like we agree with things in the article that she says we just want to put it out there that like we do not um joke about disabilities or people elderly whatever it is so just wanted to put that out there and make sure the daddy is clear where we stand on that point thank you it's episode 69 it is um episode 69 there is a sex physician named after 69 or 69 was named after the sex physician i'm gonna go ahead and say the former so 69 it's when a man is laying on his back traditionally the traditional 69 man on back woman on top of him facing the opposite direction, head to penis, and then his head to her vagina.

And then they proceed to perform oral sex. And the girl is typically in a plank-like position. Hoisting herself up. Hoisting. The thing is, is, I don't, I'm like tripping over my words because i fucking hate it 69 you all want us to talk about it you all want us to go there you're all giggling you're like guys whispering it is episode 69 yeah this is so cool you guys are the ones in geometry when your teacher is writing the number 69 on the school board,

you guys let out a little ha-ha. And do a little jibber-jab with your elbow to your classmate. And you give the little giggle, and then you get detention. When the teacher catches you passing the note saying, hey, Becky, you want a 69 later? Knock it off. Knock it off. Every time you pass fucking exit

69 everything is giggle giggle Laugh laugh and we're fucking done 69 is the most Overrated Ridiculously Over presented Sex position Talked about more than a lot of sex positions

I don't know why. And we fucking hate it. Because. Hello. Let's explain why. Because maybe there are people that adore 69. Adore. And I just want them to understand where I'm coming from.

Okay. Yeah. Like a little like you guys can like sympathize with us here. Number one. When I am receiving oral sex, I really like to kick back, relax, and enjoy the show. Yes. I want to focus on how my vagina feels. Yes.

And I don't want to focus on A, hoisting myself up. Hoist. Hoist. Hoist. B, giving him a blowjob and making sure it's great yeah you ain't no bitch and C I don't really like to have my vagina flaps dangling in midair and my ass in um downward dog yeah you know I am so happy you brought that up Sophia you know naturally I'm gonna agree I'm so happy you brought that up, Sophia. You know, naturally, I'm going to agree. I'm weird. Are you guys shocked?

I'm going to agree. I'm going to go as far as to say that I think that in 69, and people really try to understand where I'm coming from here because it may sound a little weird. Everyone always talks about how you're so connected in 69. You're both getting yours, and you're intertwined in the bodies. Yeah. I actually don't think there's a position.

I feel more disconnected from my partner than in 69 because when I am all the way down south and he's up at the North Pole with my pussy in his face and I'm trying to get down on that long and I'm focused like the grade a performer. I try to always be. I cannot give this man the swirly twirly gumdrop gluck gluck 9 000 and also focus on my fucking clit it's kind of disrespectful to the gluck gluck and just any blow job yes because one time i one time one time i was in a moving vehicle and i performed one time i was in a movie a movie theater and i got on the ground i've never done that actually no you shouldn't um i was in a moving vehicle

and i gave this guy roadhead okay and he swerved off the road and he hit a mailbox okay a legend and i'm not trying to act like i'm good at giving blowjobs because god knows i'm not ask my boyfriend bite bite but what i'm saying is the man gets so like encapsulated encapsulated encapsuled in the movements of my tongue. Okay. The guy gets tunnel vision. Yes. Okay. And he's focusing on getting that nut. And he's about to pass out from ecstasy from this blow job. Okay. So at that point, like if I'm doing my job right, he accidentally bit my clit off. You know what I mean? No, but he's feeling so good that he has no idea what he's doing on my vagina exactly and so that is the whole point and 69 is a safety hazard it is i think the whole thing it

sucks and i do think that with regard to call her daddy there's so many better fucking positions that i can get my pussy and then i can suck his dick in yeah i bottom line that's it i do have a couple um that I know they're my friends and they actually love 69 and they talk about it with me all the time because I'm a fucking pervert asking them oh I thought you were gonna say I fucking hate it and they know and I tell everybody no but so um but they were telling me they do it but they love it because they do it reversed so they do reverse 69 which is where the guy is on top they said because the guy is on top he goes down and he kind of like wraps his head down and under and so hit the first thing that

his mouth is going to come in contact with is the clit because it's at the top okay and then his fingers can go in your pussy whereas in normal 69 his mouth is at like your hole your vagina hole so so he's hitting the pussy from a different angle. And I guess that could be good. Premier access to the clitoris. But also, the thing is, what are the chances that you and your man are going to have the exact height difference that it takes to do this successfully? And the rhythm. And the rhythm. Thank you. I also do think it is.

This is the rhythm of the night i also do think that in reverse 69 they were saying that it you it takes you being like a bit comfortable with the person because the guy on top like his ass is now up and like his butt and his dangly dicky yeah and i could see some guys not being down yeah i could see them just not being comfortable whatever i reached out to a man because i always like to get some male perspective and he said that he actually likes it if both people are doing it on their side oh so the girl's head is resting on the guy's thigh right while she sucks his dick like she's pretty much in between his thighs she's's, like, using the guy's thighs as a neck pillow. Oh, a little support buddy.

Yes, yes, yes. So. And then she has her leg over his head, which I feel like that 69 is even more intimate. Oh, because you guys are, like, really intertwined. In and around the genitals and the asshole. So, the asshole. Okay. in the asshole so the asshole okay this position the nose is in closer quarters to the asshole the rectum yes so my ex told me this story this is also probably why i'm fucking hate 69 okay is he had a serious phobia of feces okay like he had to do these things called poop showers shout out and he could not go number two without like washing his body in

a shower like we would be at a party like we would be at a party and if he had and he would he would get in that person's shower like use their towel and then like put his clothes back on. Wow. So he's, at least he's hygienic. So guys, we're really hitting the hard facts. So he had this huge phobia. Right.

And he was doing 69 with one of his ex-girlfriends. Yeah. And he said that it smelled really bad, that it reeked. No. And the girl had not wiped properly and he was like because of the 69 position like i was just able to smell the ass crack ass hole like way more than i wanted to and so you know that's just like just make sure to wipe just fucking fucking wipe. Just wipe. Wipe. I think that's a great point. Thank you. Thanks.

I actually think the if you're comfortable, the slang sideways, that one you just brought up may be good. I think it literally goes sideways on your side to reverse and then to normal. Oh, OK. Because I'm not fucking standing up. How about that? How about that? Bitches, you're in the handstand here she goes he's holding your leg this is actually my favorite position i haven't even told you yet wait wait wait that

that could be hard to do he does a handstand he gets up on the wall the dick is protruding from the wall you take your place you go towards that And then he wraps his head upwards and latches on to your clit and sucks that thing dry. That could work. And then the blood rushes to his head. And the orgasm. Right when you orgasm, the blood has rushed through your head and you fucking pass out. That actually could be one of the best ways to do it. Handstand to the nine

69 96 whatever you're into if the girl wants to be on her hand maybe maybe she's the yoga fucking bitch i hate that bitch yeah you walk over the bathroom you grab a squatty potty you step on that well because i was gonna say what if yeah what if he's super tall right you get a little thing to put your hands up on so you get a couple more inches right you fling up on the wall people what are you proceeds to fucking shove his dick in your mouth that's kind of scary what about is he this is the last okay hypothetical he has a pull-up bar in his doorway yes he you put your legs on the pull-up bar hang upside down like you're a kid on the monkey bars at school absolutely and do it that way okay okay okay okay this is very good and this is very good stuff but like

just get on the bed get on the bed and get on the bed and eat me out and then i'll suck your dick and then we'll be good if you're going to hook up with a guy at least when you're out of high school at least when you're older if you're going to hook up with a guy for the first time and he tries to ask to do 69 he is an inexperienced little bitch boy i was gonna and he's never had sex before I couldn't agree more with you And the thing is Is that I think the reason we're saying that guys

Is because it's no Like for people that aren't as experienced in sex They think that 69 is cool Yeah it's like a quote unquote freak position When really if you listen to fucking call her daddy We've given you guys so many better fucking positions That each of you can enjoy totally way better than 69 everybody listen up because a few weeks ago i was on the phone with my friend for hours trying to give her advice and usually i feel like i'm

pretty good at that you know i've kind of made it my job to give you're like really bad advice no but you're giving your friend advice and i really was at a loss for words like i didn't have an answer for her once she called me freaking out because she caught her boyfriend sending a facebook message to a girl, a hot girl. It matters. It definitely fucking matters. It was an attractive girl saying, happy birthday, beautiful. And the question isn't, should my friend be upset with her boyfriend? Because.

Yeah, of course. Absolutely. She should be furious with her boyfriend. Yeah of course absolutely she should be furious with her boyfriend yeah that's not okay the question that my friend was asking me was do i need to break up with him over this like was it so bad what he did that she should end their three-year relationship they've been together for three years so basically what you're bringing up Is their on call her daddy We talk about full-blown cheating on this Show and this is kind of one Example of this gray area

Where your partner doesn't full Blown cheat on you yes You gave the example of like a Facebook message guys this could be A DM or a Text he sent to someone or You keep finding him sending the same girls like a screenshot of the same girl and he sends it to all of his friends all the time yes who is this

bitch or liking this one specific girl's pictures every week and so it's kind of hard because it's like holy fuck he's not full-blown cheating but this is shady behavior and at what point is it worth ending a relationship over? And then what point will you put up with it and just get mad about it? Exactly. So I was trying to figure it out with my friend. And I think that this is really what it comes down to. And what I ended up telling her is if you find something like this.

Yes. Like the happy birthday beautiful message he sent, piece of shit. You are now allowed to go through all of this man's shit. Yeah, totally. Go through the phone. Go through the email. The iPad.

Go through the MyFitnessPal, the Venmo. The Apple Watch. All of it. Forensic work. Yes. Okay? Yes. Hire a private investigator like no higher go through our

episodes take notes and then go to your boyfriend's shit yeah and act accordingly yes because at this point you're allowed to yeah you found something shady now it's time to see is there anything else and if you do that and if you find some shit there you go there's your answer you break up with them and i think if you don't find anything yeah if this was like a one-off it looks right then i think you can let it go i agree but if it happens again then i think you need to question the relationship yeah i was gonna say i think if you find something really shady like this girl did and if she had never found anything before you bring it up to your boyfriend and you let him know that this is not okay and this is not something that's gonna fly yeah and then if it happens again it's over yes um is this worth ending a three-year relationship over i'm gonna say at face value no because he's

not full-blown cheating he's being shady and then like we just said that's where you start investigating right and then what you find via investigation will tell you if you're able to move forward in this relationship on the flip side guys, guys, we're going to do a little 180. We're going to do a little switcheroo 180, call her daddy style. And now we're going to help out the people that are being shady. Yes. Okay. Have I been caught red handed?

Absolutely. Yes. If you are the person that got caught writing a Facebook message, you deny till you die. I don't understand why everyone doesn't have this tattooed on their foreheads by now. Deny till we die, folks. Yes, because once again, it's incriminating. It's inappropriate what you did. But it's not proof.

It's not fully penis in vagina. Yep. You know, if she has a Facebook message and you are going to look at this bitch and you are going to tell her she's crazy. Sophia, you're so crazy. So you gaslight her. You gaslight this hoe. And you make her feel so dumb for getting in your face over a Facebook message. This hurts me to like even be giving guys i do this advice but i do it we

it works it does work you deny till you die if all she has she's fishing she's looking at you with this her poor puppy dog eyes and she's like how could you do this to me right how could i wish a girl happy birthday i don't fucking know get out of my face and you gaslight her yep however if you get caught and she has all of this dirt on you and, you know, she swung open the door and you were balls deep in her mom, then you can't gaslight her. You can't gaslight her. It's like, babe, you're hallucinating. I mean, I guess you could. You're not.

You're sleepwalking. This is a dream. No. Knock her out. No. No. If she catches you balls deep, you can't use the gaslight method. You have nowhere to turn and you need to like beg for forgiveness.

You got to drop down to your knees and you got to sob. Cry, cry, cry. Because it's, and I know it's confusing, but you got to just read the situation. Does she have full blown proof? Oh no. Okay. Lie. If she has full proof.

Oh my God. I am so sorry, baby. I love you so much. I'll do anything to get you back. I made a mistake. I Oh no. Okay. Lie. If she has full proof. Oh my God. I am so sorry, baby. I love you so much. I'll do anything to get you back. I made a mistake. I love you. I love you. And you drop down and you fucking cry.

And punishment needs to fit the crime. So if it's a Facebook message, the reason you gaslight her is because if she finds a Facebook message and you start crying like a little bitch, then she's going to be like, okay, there's something else here. Yes. And then you're like really she's gonna be like okay there's something else yeah here yes and then you're like really giving yourself away yes yes you're playing your cards and you didn't even fucking have to don't be a fucking pussy listen to us take the steps know how to act and then when it is time to cry you gotta be man enough to do it okay and sometimes when men cry it gets me men men crying yes oh oh so baby oh this is yes yep it is like a natural wonder of the world when a man is actually from the bottom of his heart genuinely upset and crying when paul realizes that alex is about to

walk out of his life because he just got caught putting his wiener where it shouldn't be paul is not even going to try to gaslight because paul is caught paul is going to break down crying. Yeah. And you will know if he's genuine or not. Because when you see a man genuinely cry, there is nothing else like it. There is nothing like seeing a grown man fucking cry. And Nina. And yeah. And I'm sorry if it comes off insensitive, but it is one of the most entertaining fucking things I've ever seen.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It is like you see right before your eyes pent up like years and years of being told like, Paul, you are a boy and boys don't cry. And it's like you're seeing all of that unravel. Before your eyes. And just like Niagara Falls out of the eyeball. First it was about the sexting. And then Paul's like, but I haven't cried about my 13th birthday. And my daughter, girlfriend Jennifer.

And my mom never came home for my graduation. And you see this, man. And most of the time these men will fall to the ground they always they lose all motors oh they're on the ground a lot of times it's like they lose their equilibrium on the ground they most of the time will like kind of reach for some part of your limb to just make contact grasping at your body and you're like i'm not even going there i'm just like just please stop and he's bawling and sobbing and he can't take it and it is it is it's so sad too because it's sad but it's so satisfying and wait how many times how fucked up too when they do this too they um squint and they close their eyes and have you tell me you haven't not like kind of had to laugh like you

quickly laugh and then like sometimes i will put my hand over my mouth and it's because I'm laughing but I'm pretending like I'm like shocked. I'm actually like this is because it's jarring. Men we laugh. We laugh when they have really fucked up. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Like if a guy's crying about fucking losing his dog. No I'm not laughing. If you're crying to me about sex. yes yes yes yes yes like if a guy's crying about fucking losing his dog no i'm not laughing if you're crying to me about sex yeah he cheated on me and then he falls to the ground and he's like sobbing and he's like i i i love you it's like don't do this don't go don't stop i love you so no babe baby and then you're and then he like kind of falls to the ground and he's on there and

he's doing like the child's pose and you laugh quickly. And then he looks up and then you get all serious again. It's the, the power dynamic is never more clear than in that moment. It is. It's like, I'm going to fucking curb stomp this bug. You want to take your knee and just nail him in the head. and it's so sad because you can't help but kind of feel bad for them like you said because when a girl cries it's like oh she's crying yeah because the man he loses the motor skill yeah loses his equilibrium it's supernatural and he falls to the ground and he's a mess and he can't he can't get his words it's almost like you're you kind of i think at one point you're like no for real like are you okay yeah and then there's a point where you're kind of like okay okay it's gonna be fine like you

want to almost forgive them just so that they fucking shut up for a second and the thing about men crying oh my god we're going off people are gonna be like but the thing about men crying is also and this is so mean but like you said if he's crying over something that actually he's a human like i am not gonna be an asshole and have no soul if he's crying over someone dying or something happening but if he hurt me and he's crying it also is the worst thing also when they do it because not only did they hurt you and now they're crying. It is the most unattractive time. Watching him be such a fucking pussy because he fucked up.

I'm like, why are you crying so much? Because people say like girls ugly cry. Oh, the a man crying the ugly cry it is like their face like i don't even fucking know how to lose all like muscle in their face everything goes limp there's there's there's always um tell me you don't always see the um like the slob coming out. There is saliva. Snot. There is so much snot. There is.

It's a disaster. And it really is so unattractive. I could keep going. So, I mean, I hope no one come at us for making fun of men cry because I'm sorry. We are talking about when men cry because they fucked your sister okay that is the example okay let's do questions of the week cool alex is taking a break from cool i can't do it i'm gonna fuck it up i'm gonna sound so stupid alex is taking a break from doing questions of the week because she was getting a little bit of hate someone slid into the dm and they were like

please knock it the fuck off sophia called all the people that don't like that when i do it silent sufferers okay and i got a message from a girl saying hey i just want to let you know i'm one of the silent sufferers and we stand together and there is a group of us and she's like and i fast forward all the time through it so i just want to let you guys feel we're just taking a little break you know what i want to let them all feel the vibe when i don't do it they're all like thank god they're all like yes you're like ungrateful bitches they're like i, I'm like, take that. You listen to that. You like that little questions of the week. Yeah, you miss questions of the week. And that's that.

Here we go. Okay, guys, help me. Unfortunately, I haven't been fucking anyone other than my sugar daddy for the past couple of months. And I went and got tested and found out I have gonorrhea. Fucking disgusting. and i went and got tested and found out i have gonorrhea fucking disgusting i know my sugar daddy gave it to me but i'm unsure how i should approach him with this fathers how do i spin this in the best most beneficial way to myself possible how should i attack oh if this, without a doubt, knows that the sugar daddy gave her gonorrhea. Cha motherfucking ching.

Cha ching. Cha ching. Because the thing is, is we've told girls, like, even if you don't know for sure, like, just tell them. Older men with money are not going to put up with that bullshit. A lot of them get tested frequently. Yes. You know what I mean?

If she knows for sure that he gave it to her, this is when you pull out Meryl Streep level performance and you make this guy feel like absolute dog shit. Bring the tears. And you are going to make him feel like a monster and you are going to tell him the way he can make up for it is a Birkin. A Birkin a birkin oh jesus the gonorrhea is the silver lining you know what i mean it is honestly a great fucking sign for

actually really great and it is more to come it is a opportunity for you to capitalize on and maybe get the biggest present from the sugar daddy you could have ever received yeah wow that's a great situation. I can't believe you're hooking up with other girls. Why wouldn't you use protection? I'm so hurt. Yeah. I know what this relationship is, but I didn't sign up for this.

Ooh, ooh, ooh. But I did sign up for that new Chanel. Okay. Hey, fathers. I was talking to this guy for the past five months and we really hit it off. He would say all the right things and I started falling for him. He picked me up from the airport and would do little things for me that in the moment I thought I needed. Last weekend, though, I got off work around 2.30 a.m. and he came over.

We were hanging out and having a great time and suddenly he became angry and accused me of stealing his money he took my wallet which had 800 for rent slash working the two nights before and left my apartment and blocked me on everything the next day i found out he has a girlfriend was i being played love your show love you both okay sweetheart please go back to episode one take out a notepad and you need to go through a full course of call her daddy again because you have not been listening to the show okay it's one thing to like when someone you know leaves the room to use the restroom and you quickly pull the cash out of the wallet right to like stand up out of nowhere and furiously be like did you steal my money and then you take her wallet and pluck the money out in front of them

and then leave the house with it i'm kind of like i kind of want to hang out with this guy and like see what how often he does this because of how normal it sounds like the way he did it it's almost like this is something he does yes and then he goes home to his girlfriend he's like babe i just made 800 for us 100 this poor girl sitting on the couch like the fact that she's like did i get played i don't know alex couldn't she get played alex if you were starting to like a guy and he pulled this shit on you i think that even you would be so shocked yeah like taken aback that you'd probably let him just walk out the door with the money that's actually so fucking amazing because that is

an example of a crazy guy and you don't see it as much i'm so sorry girl you did get played to answer your question yes what and then he stole from you and has a girlfriend how did you find out she he has a girlfriend he played you he played you he stole from you and he has a girlfriend get a different wallet find new met oh my god um okay this is kind of sad oh but i want your opinion obviously okay this girl this is from a guy this girl i'm seeing never works out when she was in high school she did track and cheer and she was in fantastic shape however she is slowly getting more out of shape. The most unattractive part is that she always brags about how much food she can eat and how much she eats. She wants to be official, but I'm not about it solely because she's slowly getting more and more out of shape. How do I convince her to eat right and start working out again without sounding like an asshole?

By the way, she's not fat by any means yet, but she's slowly getting softer. All right. All right. Women are shooken. Women are like, fuck him. All right. This is the thing. He does not really like that girl.

Okay. He doesn't like her however i'm gonna be on play devil's advocate yeah and i know every woman's gonna hate me for doing that okay because it works with both sides there is something we've had people write in there is something about when going further when you're in a relationship and someone lets themselves go. Yeah. It is not fair to your partner. That's not what they signed up for.

I know it sounds fucked up. Like, I'm sorry if you gain 200 pounds and they met you before or you like lose so much weight. And that's not like it's it is. It's not how they met you. And like it is kind of a mind fuck for this guy I understand a little bit he's saying she was an athlete and now she's just constantly eating and she's bragging about how much she can eat but he's watching her physically and like she's just gaining a lot of weight I'm sorry but I kind of understand why he's like i'm a little freaked out because some men

i've dated are extremely attracted to women that just take care of themselves yeah you don't have to be the most in shape person but if you are just constantly bragging about how much you can eat and all the chicken you can take down i'm very interested in how that conversation what that's like why i is she like get me the fucking chicken bucket from kfc and watch this shit go down like oh my god i've just never so you could say like babe um like do you jesus christ the chicken bucket fucking god damn the fuck yeah no but you could bring up like her old cheerleading days or something and i know it's kind of douchey, but you could be like, oh, my God. Like, look at look at that body on you.

And look at that body on her. Oh, it's you. I didn't even recognize. No, no. But you're like, oh, like, do you miss cheerleading? Do you miss playing sports? And like girls, just keep in mind, men are disgusting and they're visually looking at you and they're fucking calling us soft. So this is really short and sweet and it's more of a public service announcement

hi daddy's big fan can we please tell guys to stop with the masturbating videos while sitting on the toilet like i can't even enjoy your dick because i can only think about the huge shit you took four hours ago i had never gotten one of those i've gotten a guy jacking off into the toilet but i've never gotten him sitting and i haven't either but for some reason i could see this being a thing and men no no that's like they need to be either laying in bed yeah standing in front of a mirror yeah or standing somewhere that you think that they could jacking off into their hand yeah or like into the sink or like into a sock or

like into oh yeah i've seen but i think that men you have to put yourself in a position men bitch if the toilet is in the background of a fucking nude yeah you squatting we know you don't sit to pee we know you only sit to shit so just know that like unfortunately that's what we're thinking about when we see that you are jacking off like oh so he just so he just took a shit and he's into blumpkins yeah man so just don't okay i have another thing that's kind of like a little beepity bop. Oh. This girl wrote in. And sometimes I think the questions we get, I just, I don't know if I'm, if we are on a different planet. We probably are. Can you guys please, in all caps, talk about how you and Sophia wear baseball hats. You and Sophia always look so cute and your ears are

always covered and they don't stick out. How do you do it? It might be a dumb question, but it's always eluded me and my ears don't even stick out regularly, but they just seem to when I wear hats help. I don't know if she meant to say eluded but so she is asking us how we wear how we wear baseball hats i just put mine on um i don't know we just we just put them on and we put our hair down even if we were just you you throw the hat on the dome and you and you walk on out that's really what it is And that's that And that's the tea Oh my gosh You guys

You gizzles You guzzlers Of cum You cum fucking savages You cum dumpsters We are still shadow banned On Instagram Which means you guys

Need to go follow Our personal accounts If Call Her Daddy Ever gets shut down How are you gonna find us? You go to our fucking Instagram And you go to Sophia with an F And Franklin with a Y

And you go to Alexandra Cooper With a K-E-W-P-E-R-Q Someone said they got confused last week So I'm going to tell her to go fuck herself It's an A and it's a C And it's an S and it's an F And we would love you guys to go follow us And if you don't, then maybe we're not

Then maybe one day we're going to just disappear off the face of the planet and good luck guys we love you so much if you could i know we say it every fucking week but you know you can leave multiple if you can just quickly pick up your phone leave a rating and a review it really fucking helps us every day and this is actually not a joke anymore we are constantly having people try to shut us down and so when you leave ratings and reviews it actually helps us a lot yeah so that's why we're saying you know just and if you just kind of like you know copy and paste the link to like a couple people just like send it off yeah kind of help send it to a couple there's some haters in the universe trying to get get Call Her Daddy taken down.

We will not. Repressed people. Yes, and we will prevail. We love you guys. We will see you every fucking Wednesday. We will be back with more fucking Call Her Daddy. Love you. Bye, guys.