Call Her Daddy - 70- Dear Side Hoe...

Episode Date: January 29, 2020

The episode kicks off with a recap from the girls as they discuss their latest drama, specifically Alex who catches Slim Shady in a lie on her recent trip to visit him! Uh oh! They also address the proper way to behave during the early stages of dating and when to post to social media… daddies… we gotta reel it back in. Lastly, men with little dicks need to stop lusting after women with fat asses AND yes, we are giving hand jobs again. Thank you! 

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy hey guys it's just gonna be sofia today alex is in a deep depression and she doesn't know what to do with herself so i guess i'm just gonna speak for her alex unless you're ready to come to the table questions i'm back bitches i got so many dms like alex we're so happy you didn't do questions of the week and then other people were like don't listen to the hashtag silent suffers come back come through bitch okay i love it personally but if you did start the episode with that we would have no fucking people listening everyone would be like so absolutely not yeah no guys um we're back at it again for another episode of call her daddy dada last week you guys kind of slid in the dms you're like you guys are so

cute you guys are so cute that you know you kind of used episode 69 to get away from the task at hand the task at hand and the task was we said that we would talk about our personal life and we don't have to do it every episode but we did leave a little cliffhanger when we were like we're going on trips with these men yeah and then we came back next week and it would we pretended we didn't even have men yeah so we thank you for calling us and really holding us accountable so now we're here to talk about it yeah i'm gonna we both had drama yeah and i'm gonna just let alex kind of have the floor because like mine didn't compare to yours there's a lot that happened yeah we'll just start it everybody picture last week you were all in a great mood episode drop 69 was hitting you right hitting you tight you were all in a great mood episode drop 69 was hitting you right hitting you tight you were laughing in your car I was sobbing on on Wednesday

last week I was in therapy with my therapist getting out all of all of the issues and I felt like a new woman like you do when you leave therapy yes I walk outside check my phone i have a voicemail from slim shady and slim shady never leaves voicemail well that and also to remind everyone that's alex's ex which also to remind people she has like 50 so i know there's speculation sometimes who it could be but trust me that whore has had some relationships she's put behind her. Thank you, Sophia. A monogamous slut. Back to back relationships.

So I get out of therapy and I have a voicemail from Slim Shady, which honestly is terrifying. I just knew something is up. Voicemails are never good. Yeah. So I get in my Uber. I'm heading to my hair appointment now. I listen to the voicemail. The voicemail was a absolute shakedown to the core.

You're a fucking lying ass piece of shit, you bitch. I heard the episode. And I'm like, no. He's like, the Canadian? Could you have sucked his dick anymore the way you fucking talk about your sex and this and that and then you're like oh yeah my shady ass ass because in the because in that episode that he's referring to you were talking about how you were like pretty much two-timing a guy that we call the Canadian and then you're like and the thing is is like I love how we're so I'm not naive I don't know what I was thinking I think it's probably me trying to well because he's self

destructive he said that he doesn't listen right and then one time we tested it remember yeah and he doesn't his friend listened yeah so his friend listen was like yo uh by the way Alex is full blown fucking two men and you're one of them so the whole thing was a disaster I get to my hair appointment and when I tell you it was the downfall of Alex Cooper on a Wednesday I sat at my hair appointment just bawling my eyes out on the phone doing damage control because this guy is like I'm getting on I was supposed to get on a flight the next day yeah and he's like you should sit your ass down and stay in New York City yeah I don't want to fucking see you I don't want to be a part of this timing ever yeah so naturally

I reach out to my best friend Sophia and, and I say code motherfucking red. I'm in a full-blown mental breakdown. And people call me a crisis manager. No, they don't. And I can come in and I can just fucking clean it up. You committed a crime. You fucking hit someone with your car. It's supposed to be a hit and run.

I'm going to raid Donovan, that son of a bitch. Your little background of being a convict comes through for the best for us most times so i'm like i know what this bitch needs alcohol alcohol alcohol and you know she's a little like one-on-one time with her best me so i'm like let's do dinner let's go to dinner let's talk about it because i was also dealing with shit yes we can talk about that next week the The thing is, is Alex and I are not really cool in New York. Say it. Like, we're not. You might assume. No.

But we're really, truly not. We don't cruise around. Like, we don't have connections. No. If you guys want to DM me and, like, please hook it up, I would love that more than anything. So I was like, we want to do a nice dinner. Yeah. And I was like, let's go to like some bougie upscale place that will make us feel better

about how horrible our lives are. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Absolutely. This place is not going to take a reservation. No. Okay. You got to be fucking Gigi Hadid to walk in this bitch.

So I'm sitting there and I'm trying to figure out what to do. And I remember Alex and I have always wanted to try this method okay this little hack to get a reservation we've never had the balls to do it never I've always felt like a complete idiot because it's kind of so embarrassing and ridiculous but I was like I'm gonna do this for my friend right now and I'm gonna get us a reservation at this place good ass I call and I don't say I'm Sophia Franklin fuck no I say hi I would like to book a reservation tonight for my client please and like with your voice and the hostess legitimately goes who's your client you're like throwing up and i was like i'm about to say my own name and then i was like alexandra cooper and sophia franklin and she said okay great for what time like do you want to come in she made the reservation do i think she had any clue who we were no no absolutely not but it worked it worked

i couldn't believe it worked also the caller id i think about it to this day and i'm like did she see that sophia franklin was calling on behalf of Sophia Franklin, her client? You're like, I really will die. No. So we get there and Sophia is like pushing me forward. Yeah. Alex, you need to be the one to like say, hi, we're here for our reso because this bitch is going to be like, I feel like I talked to you earlier. Someone called on your behalf.

It wasn't you. So you guys, if you are trying to get a reservation, this is kind of the most brilliant hack ever. It is. And then just say your fucking names and like, yeah, this is kind of the most brilliant hack ever. It is. And then just say your fucking names and like, who knows? Maybe they'll fucking let you in. Right. So we get to the reservation. Well, I get home from my hair appointment.

Sophia and I pop open a bottle and we just start chugging and we're screaming and we're like, let's go get fucking hammered. I don't even know if I'm getting on a flight tomorrow morning. And so when we got there, it was intimidating. We walk in. No one's greeting us there's no like person to walk up to and like ask where our reservation where our table is etc the whole thing is awkward we walk in like we have sticks up our assholes yeah like so awkward i even sat down feeling awkward yes it's just like the way this restaurant is set up it's just awkward

everyone's like looking at each other to see who the other person is we ended the night of at home feeling extremely at home i ended the night popping my heels off just putting my feet up on the chair in front of me hammered hammered we're like let's just get a few bottles like as if we can do that we're like fuck it we spend the whole night just talking about our lives trashing like our whole situation being like our lives are jokes we head home we're hammered and i'm like um slim shady's been calling me yeah i don't know if he canceled my flight yet or not i'm gonna have to take a phone call and know if i'm getting up at seven in the morning to go to a flight i head into my room. I have some amazing conversations that start with like, you're a bitch into like, babe, I do want you to come.

And I'm like dancing around my room. Hammered. The thing is, is they always want the pussy. They do. And I think I was hammered. So I was like kind of throwing some sexual shit. He's like, are you OK? You're like, I'm dripping wet.

He's like, I'm like, I just want to get on the plane now. He's like, OK. So we come to a conclusion that I'm going I'm gonna go see some shady he forgives for me like for all my sins he accepts that you know we're not together yet so a Canadian can be in play yes he just didn't like me talking about it and hearing it from his friends so here we go our trip was really great now getting down to like the basics of like how things are going you guys had like a great few days we did awesome and then and then and then so he's lucky that the sex was so good and is so good because i caught slim shady in a big fat fucking lie slim back at it again with the

shade you gotta love it we called him slim shady for a reason right right right so i'm gonna outline what happened get the popcorn ready wow so i'm laying in our bed our bed our bed he came into the room and he asked me if i had posted something to social media that would show that we're together and i'm like like a picture like a picture on either my snapchat or my instagram and i was like no i've only posted a selfie on my snapchat and it's legit my face and the ceiling of this house okay then he leaves the room so like immediately I'm like what the fuck is going on like obviously something's going on he comes back in and he essentially asks me the same exact thing again and he's like are you sure you didn't post anything and now I know fucking something's up I'm like oh yeah I'm like what the fuck is going on

I asked him it's not like he follows you, yeah. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? I ask him. It's not like he follows you or anything. No. So we don't follow each other on social media. So like clearly I know someone reached out. Yes. Telling him something. So I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

And Slim Shady goes, this girl that I used to talk to that I ended things with her like a few months ago, she just randomly texted me and asked me if I was with my ex so I wasn't sure if you had like posted something of us on snapchat or something what okay the alarm like the sirens are going on right that sounds so shady the whole thing I felt so bad because like initially he's asking me like hey did you post something and everything is vague the minute he brought up the girl yeah there's a couple things now not making sense at this point and I call him the fuck out okay I say number one why the fuck are you asking me if I'm posting something on social media right right I go number yeah first

of all fuck off I can post whatever I want but i was like number one why is there a girl randomly asking you if you're with your ex if you don't talk to her anymore thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you exactly like no no no no you don't talk to her at all but she's wondering right no number two and this is the other thing sofia and this is where it gets good okay i say number two you've been living in this new house for two weeks so how is it that this girl who you ended things with months ago is able to identify the ceiling of your home in my picture. You moved here two weeks. Oh, my gosh.

He moved into a new house two weeks before that. He just moved in. Yes. And he's like, I ended it with her months ago. How does she know what your ceiling looks like, baby? I would be, if I were Slim Shady and you came at me with those questions, I would just melt into the floor and be like, I'm done. I'm done. You caught me.

I would actually just run out of the house and be like, sorry. And so I felt bad, but obviously I call him out. And like it's. You felt bad? No, because it was almost so pathetic how easy it was to uncover the lie. You felt bad because you were like, oh, I'm about to like really destroy this bitch. Like rip his asshole okay so then eventually obviously like me calling him out he fucking knows we've done this too many times being an ex it's like right so he ends up admitting everything

the girl and him do in fact still talk she's never been to the house i was about to say right she noticed it was like literally the ceiling and like a beam a beam beam in the corner right on the ceiling like she must have spent a lot of time on her back while he fucked her on every inch of that house that's literally what i said and he and i knew the short period of time he had been there it was almost impossible for her to have gone so he did end up telling me he was like she's never been in the house i had sent her pictures of the house saying that like hey you've got to come visit and then i obviously slid the fuck back into his life and the weekend i guess he ended up telling me that the reason she was reaching out is because she was supposed to come this weekend and I made up a big Sophia and I made up a big lie because you decided you wanted to come and

I wasn't going to pay for her flight and I wasn't going to actually bring her out so I kept avoiding inviting her and she picked this weekend to want to come and I told her I was doing xyz of a lie and now she sees that you're here and she's really upset that I chose to come and I told her I was doing xyz of a lie and now she sees that you're here and she's really upset that I chose my ex and I had you here and now she's home and she's crying and she's upset and her friends are telling her go look at Alex Cooper's story because she's definitely with him and I'm just sitting there and it was the whole thing was just so cute when you catch men when they lie and then they start to try to over explain because when i tell you that slim shady i didn't need all the details he started giving me and he's like he starts

referring to her he's like it's kind of have you ever had one of those people like in your life like it's a pen pal situation and like she lives in my hometown and like we never really hang out but like she just like sex me and like sends me nude and like the entire time that we even like we're hooking up she never even fucking sucked my dick no and i'm like i'm like babe i don't need to know you're like no i genuinely don't need to know more sex wasn't good i didn't even get a blow job like he started over doing it to the point where i knew this girl's first name, last name, middle name, her family history, everything about their sex life. So that was a hiccup with Slim Shady. But the update is like we made up.

The rest of the trip was super good. We ended up having like hot sex because we were like annoyed with each other. And that was hot. It really actually fueled better sex after we had that fight. Annoyance equals the hottest sex you've ever seen. But no, I think where I'm at right now, guys, is like it's hard being with your ex, obviously. We aren't exclusive, so other people are going to be involved. But obviously, we're closer than we are with those hookups. So there is going to be an annoyance and a jealousy factor because we're used to being in a relationship.

So we're currently just navigating that right now. I understand that you're not ready to be exclusive together right but you're also not ready to just hear about the other person like he got mad at me for the canadian and then i'm annoyed he's lying about this girl but at the end of the day with slim shady right now i think it's the best sex i have with a guy hands down so i think the drama is worth the sex fat ass little dick let's talk about it all right it's like mortal kombat let's go who's gonna win the round the big ass the big ass dick oh the big ass will win every time every fucking time what are you talking about let's break it down we were leaving the gym today and what were we talking about sofia so every time i go to the gym i spend the entire

time working out my ass me too i don't do abs i don't do arms it's just my ass yeah yeah and it's because it's all about the ass now the only thing these little bitch boys talk about. They're like, oh, yeah, like that girl with that fat ass. I sit on my face with a fat ass. It's like, okay. And Alex and I were talking about it. And Alex was like, do you understand that a smaller penis, nothing wrong. Nothing wrong. Small dicks for the win in 2020.

There's nothing wrong with that. But these men that have kind of little baby carrots, penises, peniles. Yeah. And then they're talking about how they just want a girl with a ginormous fucking jiggly big dump truck of an ass. And it's like, really think about this, because when you do doggy, how far into her vagina does that little penis go with a fucking ass like that? Ass like that. So fat, need a lot of that. This is the thing. Men are so picky about the ass nowadays.

And that's fine if you want to be picky and, like, have a girl with a fat ass. But if your dick is so small, just be ready, because, like, okay, sure, she's going to have a fat ass, but you can never do doggy. Because when you look down, you won't even see your fucking dick no one nobody talks about this but black china black china kim kardashian yep kim kardashian maybe kanye west has a huge dick i'm not sure but like when when when when lamar odom was fucking chloe kardashian's ass his dick needs to be so big to even see it entering. Right. If little Johnny down the block with his little baby choo-choo is trying to enter. Fuck no. He doesn't even know he has a dick.

Yeah. So we just wanted to wake everyone up where it's like men, of course, everyone has a preference. Oh, I like big tits. I like a big ass. Or I like a small ass or a small tits. But when you are really getting specific down to it, pay attention to the size of your wiener. And don't, you can't be so selective. Oh, I want that fat ass.

Because then you can't fuck her doggy. Yeah. It's all about ratio. Ass to dick ratio. Yeah. So sometimes like I think it's great almost when girls don't have huge asses. Maybe we're missing something, Alex. I don't know. Well, I think my point is I think everyone praises girls with big asses.

And I just wanted to give a little shout out to anyone in the smaller booty club because you know what you make that man's dick feel so fucking large when he looks down he's fucking you from behind get it girl agreed we had a girl right in we were looking for questions and this girl wrote in and we were like we just need to really discuss this like in detail we can't just throw this into questions because this is a grade a offense yeah this is fucking traumatic here we go so she wrote in and said i need advice i fucked up and on impulse posted a picture with this guy that i've been talking to with for four months and i regret it. I posted it way too early and he has yet to post a picture of us only on Snap, which most definitely means it's private and no one knows we're even talking. But I need to have the upper hand and I want to delete the photo,

but I don't want any questions asked of why is it gone or should I even do this? Please help a girl out. Oh, sweetie. I even do this please help a girl out oh sweetie as we go on remember r.i.p no girlfriend four months four months let's just like break it down four months is very early very early also a relationship this is the shit I don't understand how is this girl going and posting a photo without one them having discussed it at all right two do you not have friends right if i tried to pull that you would be like alex oh i would rip your phone out of your hands and throw it away and be like you're done this is the thing men assume all bitches be cray all bitches and we are we are but guys take it to like another level where they just assume that girls are like jealous obsessive stage five

clingers blah blah blah etc and so when you do things like this it's confirming that for him even if it was innocent even if you are a chill girl and you just wanted to post a picture for whatever reason it is going to freak him out the most healthy way to always go about things is letting with this type of shit the guy make the first move make him wonder why you're not trying to get on social media with him make him wonder what you've got in your phone that's making you not be that classic girl that's like baby let's get a post like a picture and post it totally so to give this girl advice I initially was gonna be like you've fucked up and there's no there's nothing you can do but I think that what she should do,

I think she should archive the photo. Me too. And I don't think she should say anything about it. And then I think if he goes up to her and is like, what is that about? I think she should be like, you know, I did think that maybe it was like a little bit too early and I jumped the gun.

I think that's so good. That's so fine. Not only are you coming off clearly like mature about the situation and level-headed it could also spark him be kind of like a little insecure which is always which is always what we want and I always want like what is her caption with this guy oh I'm like I want to know I know she's on private so I couldn't see. Four month anniversary. Can you imagine? So there is an overarching theme here and it goes past social media. Girls jumping the gun with a guy that they're talking to. Girls getting so excited and doing embarrassing shit because they're fucking already in love

four months in. Even if you feel like you and this guy are really really hitting it off and you think he's the one and you're ready for him to propose like let him be the first one to initiate anything girls are out here okay the post on social media is horrible girls are out here and an example of a girl overdoing it and embarrassing herself too early in is if like she goes yeah let's give people examples yeah here you go because there's a shit if this is you knock it off done daddy game please done um a girl let's say a girl embarrassing herself she she goes up to christian the guy she's been fucking for three months and she's like christian hey christian christian christian wake up it's a witch it's a wicked witch from the west they just fuck

she leans over she taps him on the shoulder christian my parents are coming into town and they like want to go to dinner do you want to come they like invited you first of all your your family your family doesn't need no to know to meet him right and and then on the opposite end why the fuck are you admitting to him that your parents know who he is okay thank you just stop or or similar to that is when a girl's like christian i can't christian what am I saying what am I doing Christian Christian um would you want to be my plus one to my work event no weekend no no no no when he asks you to his work event then you're alive go for it when he when you ask him fucking. Stop. You're overdoing it and you're pushing it past. He likes you in the bedroom and he likes to order food in after or pre-fuck.

Right. And that is your relationship. Right. Even you guys going out and all being with your friends drinking on a weekend is different than you being like, Christian, work party, you and me. Like, fucking no. Anything maternal. Yes. you're not doing his laundry you're not cooking for him you're not bringing him food no you're not doing it you're

not asking him if you can fucking take his chihuahua to get his butthole wax like you're not doing it chihuahua dude the end of the story here is it is just unbelievable that girls are taking it too fucking far we have girls out here fucking stressing about gifts for valentine's day for fuck boys right now we have girls out here literally in this moment while we record girls are stressing out in their rooms freaking out what to get christian that is the truest shit i've ever heard and i that's my favorite thing you've ever said you're gonna get him the pussy yes stop stressing these fuck boys actually probably don't even want your pussy on valentine's day because they're with their main bitch so take your place

and even if he's not you wouldn't define him as a fuck no we're talking we're more than that we're almost dating no i don't care he makes the first fucking move and you sit your fat ass down until he makes it. And that's that. And that's a tea and that's the truth. On to sex. Sexual seduction. Sex. Guys, sex.

I'm bringing sexy back. Nope. That's nope. Nope. So sexual interactions on the daily. Hit us where it hurts, Sophia. We talk about sex there's this thing that people know us for i hate when i have to like do an introduction

let me just say what i'm gonna say just fucking say it i know i was talking to someone very close to me my mom mommy we were talking about sex sex and more specifically how hard it is for women to orgasm it is hard it is and maybe there are some of you that are like i just jump on the dick and i squirt and i come all over in two seconds good for you great but for a lot of women it's hard to do yeah and the thing is is there are a couple little tips and tricks that you can do to make sure that you have an orgasm. We love that. Or to make it more possible. Possible and pleasurable.

Getting on that pleasure train, baby. I tried this the other day. I heard it. It was in the other room and I heard it it going down and got out my dildo yes and what I did was I clenched my vagina oh vagina okay well actually Alex you're on to something okay you're on to something I clenched my vagina while he's fucking while he was fucking me or eating me out or fingering me like anything he was doing okay I kept clenching my vagina and releasing clenching releasing so like a kegel yes exactly okay and usually people are like do kegels so you can have

better sex this was like kegels during sex okay okay right and it worked I had like a mind-blowing orgasm and I started to implement this every single time I was fucking right and it makes a huge difference wait that is so interesting because I was just thinking as you were saying that I have been in situations where I'm having sex where I will on purpose do Kegels but it's never been for me like I was it's just squeeze around his day yeah and like I know a lot of times like in missionary it's I they can tell like something's happening down there and it can be really hot yeah but I've never thought to do it throughout for an extended period of time for yes my vagina even if he's eating you out and I think this is what it is because now I'm going to get now we'll get a little bit interesting

because clenching your vagina great right you all should try that do it but if you are clenching your ass or your legs like your ass muscles yes or anything on your lower body. You're forcing the blood to like rush down to that area. And then therefore going to your vagina and your clit. And it just enlarges it and it gives it, you know, more blood flow. Blood flow. Fucking blood flow. I got to really embarrass myself in trying to use a clit. Fucking in and around.

Wait, that's so fucking smart, Sophia. And I swear to God, god girls if you're having a hard time like this is going to change it up so literally because i know like if you're having an orgasm a lot of times like your toes will curl and clench you should be doing that before you have an orgasm clench your ass clenching and releasing either your vagina your ass your legs all three like whatever and keep doing it and it will help also just quick tip is remember to breathe when you're doing this no guys just don't forget to breathe yeah don't pass out no people focus on your breathing forget to like focus on the breathing

because that's part of it too yeah sometimes like cutting off oxygen to the brain i feel like sometimes like if i'm getting fucked from behind or something, I like hold my breath and it's like, that's not smart. No, no, no. Wow. Okay. That is an amazing tip. And I hope every girl uses that because we fucking love that.

Now Alex, come at us with like the disgusting shit people want to hear. So there were two men. It was me. I was kidding. I was about to be like yes um no okay so this is the thing i am done with blowjobs it's all about the hand job now shut the fuck up everyone's like swerving alex cooper just said she likes hand jobs over blowjobs no no but i am kind of serious you're done you're not done I would never believe that no so I want to walk you through a quick scenario so I can explain to you why I've kind of come to

this conclusion okay hand jobs I remember the first time that I ever hooked up with the Canadian he literally looked at me and he was like jerk me off I want you to get me off so we're laying there my vagina is ready to ooze some wetness my mouth is ready to snap her ever oozing no and so i was i remember kind of staring at him because i'm not gonna fucking lie i don't remember the last time that i gave a hand job to fruition for a man i just jerked him off and I remember leaving that situation he was the happiest man in the world and I remember thinking when I'm giving a blow job I'm using my hand thank you so fucking much and I had a moment going back to basics of doing the hand job where I was like hold on I hope

girls when we because we have shit on hand jobs in the past I hope girls don't think that we mean like hands behind your backs and don't you dare you do a hand job only blow jobs thank you so much for bringing that up because the hand job makes the blow job oh i'm sorry because the thing is when men say they prefer blowjobs what they mean to say is like they prefer the hand job with your mouth incorporated yes you know what i mean dude they don't mean like you either pick a hand job or a blow job, and the blow job is just your mouth. They want both, you slut. Yes. Yes. 100%.

And I'm sorry, but the Gluckluck 9000, how does the definition start? The double hand twist. So the hands are the first thing that is emphasized in the Gluckluck. Okay. Confession. Because I was hooking up with Suitman. This is like in the early stages. Okay.

Maybe it was Suitman. This is like in the early stages. Okay. Maybe it was Suitman. Maybe someone else. But we'll say Suitman so he feels good. He feels right when he listens. Hey, Suitman. It's me. I'm taking care of ya. He's like, this never happened between us.

You're lying. Who did you fuck yesterday? Every guy. You're like, Suitman, Suitman, Suitman. And that's it. Unless it's a bad story. He's like, we've never done anal, so fuck off. I'm like, what? Suitman. Okay, so you're like suit man suit man suit man and that's it unless it's a bad story we've never done anal so fuck off i'm like what man okay so you're fucking suit man i was fucking this guy

just a random off the street i don't even picked him up and i don't know he was like piling through the garbage i was like you look like you have a big dick come on down so i was hooking up and he literally i was giving him a blow job and he literally stopped me this is not an exaggeration this is what happened out of a horror film already he stopped me and was like can you use your hands bitch and i wanted to fucking back flip i was i was like so i have a sex podcast where i actually try to tell people how to do like these sexual things and here i am having a guy telling me to basically fuck off you're forgetting you even have hands so that's that is a perfect example like i was doing it myself right was i deep throating yeah was i choking myself out yeah hell yeah was i even licking the balls and putting the balls in my mouth

yeah the shaft was my bitch when it came've never heard you talk about a blowjob think about it as a woman a woman I love a little tongue to my clit action do I like to get fingered fuck yeah love love love and I hate when men don't finger me enough yeah it's such a great feeling sometimes I like it more than the mouth. Me too. So, same thing. Here's a little bit of advice, girls. This is the thing.

Men can jack themselves off and it's a tale. Why would they want me to give them a handjob if they can do it themselves? There is something about seeing a fucking woman take a dick in her hand and fucking stroke it. And if you know how to fucking stroke it and you have a mouth and that's something he can't fucking do the combo the combo meal at mcdonald's is always the go-to the mary kate to my ashley yeah the salt to my peppa the uggs to a basic bitch the ass to my anal the pussy to my clit the randall to my herald the trash to your ex the chlamydia to my vagina the plan b to a slut hello folks you get it this fedora hat to a whore okay we're done no blow jobs and hand jobs unite yes also this is so fucking random but fuck acrylic nails okay okay because not only can you not finger a guy's asshole with

these motherfucking claws i couldn't masturbate correctly this past weekend so just take it um excuse i'm sorry excuse my friend she just went for a little and fuck my nail place and i never am getting these things wait you couldn't masturbate okay you know how i have the running joke everyone always will dm me when i have short nails when she has long acrylic nails i'm not fingering it does her and pose an issue to a guy's booty hole so therefore that means that maybe i'm using my mouth that weekend but i'm not god forbid you're not touching the asshole no she's using her mouth i'm just kidding i'm just kidding but no so i can't you can't finger guy's asshole with your fucking

long claws of course i was attempting to rub my clit when he was fucking me this weekend oh and my fucking nails were jabbing his dick yeah so like cut open his dick? Yeah. So I had to rub my clit sideways. Right. It's just. We're done with the acrylic nails. We're done. We're done. I think just you got to go gel next time.

You got to go gel. You got to go short. And short is the way to go. Guys, if you're trying to fuck and you don't need any obstacles whatsoever, hair in a bun, slick. Gel nails. And I don't know how and and socks on and socks can you imagine every time ballerina bun fucking shitty ass nails and like big fuzzy socks and we're like ready to play ready to go babe he's like okay so pretty much acrylic nails if you see

a girl with acrylic nails, prude. Prude. She's not having sex. Prude. I'm not having good sex right now. I am a fucking loser. No. Khloe Kardashian.

Prude. Always clink, clink, clink, clinkity clack. The bad bitch is back. We see you. Khloe, we see you. Prude. Prude. Virgin.

So maybe the New York Post was right. I am a prude. That's what it was. The acrylic nails gave it away. It gave it away fuck great great here we go questions of the week oh week baby i'm back baby let's start doing austin powers oh my god the wink vibe fuck all the silent suffers you can suck it guys she's back i tried to stop her but i don't know if it's a good thing or not

all right questions hit me hit him i'm gonna start it off okay because that's just what we're doing this girl said hey dads my boyfriend recently got sent a nude from his ex-girlfriend over text. He told whatever. But when I went through his phone last night, he had saved it and it was a fire nude. I mean, like I was getting turned on. Should I be pissed or am I just being jealous? I would be very pissed. Okay.

I would be very, very pissed. But my question is, how shitty of a situation if you are dating a guy and an ex-girlfriend or like a girl he used to fuck sends him a nude? Because I've been in a similar situation actually with Suitman. It wasn't a nude, but it was a picture of this girl and she was like laying in bed and like she was like kind of like you ever told me that i didn't what the fuck oh my god this was like a couple months ago she was laying in bed and she was just making like a pouty face and like maybe she had cleavage in it i don't even remember and but it was just supposed to

be more of like a what did she say and she she was like, I'm in New York. Let's hang out. And Suitman said, this is what he told me. He was like, I had a girl I used to hook up with reach out. I'm not going to respond. And I was like, OK, cool. Thanks for telling me. Yeah, dope. He failed to mention there was a picture.

Did he mention the picture? No. Stop. How did you find out about the picture? Because then he was scrolling through his laptop. And the peripheral vision, I mean mean it's not my fault and i saw the photo and i was like that's not me who is that hey and he was like yeah like i thought i told you like she also sent a selfie with yeah you failed to mention obviously i bitched him out but i think you're right it is the worst because

can you really be mad at them okay so i was gonna say didn't this girl though say that the um boyfriend saved it to his camera roll so that's that is fucked it's one thing if like you have a guy and or your boyfriend and he gets a nude that is so fucking annoying and i would like delete the conversation so you can't see that anymore like that's so annoying however if he saves it to his camera roll girlfriend I would be fucking pissed I would be fucking pissed about that but what if he hadn't saved it and like she had just seen that I would be jealous and I would ask him to block her yeah because I'd be like me too I'd be like listen I'm not crazy you don't have to block all of your exes but like this bitch is full-blown sending you active nudes like let's just like cut that off yeah yeah

wow i'm sorry girl yeah i would be annoyed though that he saved it okay here's kind of another one about jealousy okay father's help i've been on and off with my boyfriend for some time but since we've been on again it's been about six months we're not official but we are exclusive whatever the fuck that means what so like she's on and off with her boyfriend they're kind of back they're not officially telling everyone they're like boyfriend and girlfriend yet but they're exclusive so they're not fucking anyone else but anyways in all caps he does not get jealous like a little cheating incident happened with another guy and he did not even give two fucks. I just want to see his jealous side and start the girlfriend boyfriend combo.

You know, I think that's a really bad sign. That is extremely interesting. The whole thing about when men don't get jealous. So from personal experience. Yeah. I dated a guy who was very kinky right and he was like you know he was down for like cuckolding and like all of that stuff not that i did it but not that i was doing a fucking five some um but so that type of guy yeah like he would never get jealous the only time he got

jealous is when i blocked him and i fully full-blown cheated on him like had sex with someone else i could see it's not even jealous it's like rage that's like i'm not even jealousy that was kind of like so fuck you yeah he wasn't even done but he's like fuck you but like if you show me like what the sex was like i guess i did date a guy that like wouldn't get jealous and I'm going to agree with this girl like it makes you feel like he doesn't care I was gonna say I think your situation was very specific because he didn't get jealous because he like he got turned on yeah he got turned on by watching you flirt or watching you potentially like go cheat and fuck another guy this girl's situation I hate to say it but like I kind of think this is

a sign that either he's not as into it or he's being shady I agree I think there's always like major jealousy is not healthy but there is always a little bit I was gonna say that and I think that like I remember dating this guy in college that I it it was like, I was the one that wasn't getting jealous because I was absolutely full blown fucking this other guy. And I had like my boyfriend in college that I was like, Oh my God, like we're like together and like the whole thing. And then the other guy was fucking,

I was way more interested in for just like fucking. And I never got jealous for a second. If he was like flirting with another girl, I didn't give a fuck. Yeah. And that was because I, my mind was somewhere else. So if I were you. A little bit of jealousy is a good sign.

I would look, I would do a little investigation station and I would kind of look through his shit if you can get a hold of that and kind of be aware that maybe his, his lack of jealousy is because there's a lack of interest fully in the relationship. I agree. This person wrote in and said hi fathers i know there have been some issues with dates on nudes if you go into google photos click on a photo or video then move to the bottom there is a change date and time setting then you can just send from google photos not sure if this is already known but thought i'd

share stay unwell so you have to go into the google but i think that you can straight up lie about the time and date it was taken oh that's beautiful so so like that's basically the app that you can it's an app you can use yes and i just think like how amazing for you to like actually have proof on the phone oh my god that it was taken in real time absolutely you know what i mean absolutely that's the thing it's like i get it that there are some people that are so fucking dumb that would never even think to look at the time yes but now we call her daddy yeah no yeah and it's so in like i've i remember a guy sending me a picture of him shirtless taking a mirror selfie and I looked and it was like taken like five days ago.

And I'm kind of like, that wasn't meant to be sent to me first. And like, that's just embarrassing. So thank you. Okay. Google photos. Boom. Can you guys do a segment on the conversations post sexting? Like if I sext someone in the middle of the day I still want to talk to them after but

it's not like they can just be like yeah so how's your lunch 10 minutes after I send a vid that's such a good fucking question right wait that's so good because I've been there too yeah and I'm like wait I don't you know what I always do is I just give it like a chunk of time yeah that like I don't speak to him and then I think I usually will it like a chunk of time. Yeah. That like I don't speak to him. And then I think I usually will just like come out of nowhere and be like, hey, like what's up? Or sometimes what I do is if you guys are going back and forth and it's really heated and as it's kind of getting to the end, what I'll say is I'll be like, fuck, baby.

Like I can't wait till we can actually fuck. I'm so horny for you. And then make a comment like, when can I see you next? That way he's going to be like, oh my gosh, me too. And then like you're he's answering a question that is about you guys fucking. But it's kind of putting an end to like now we're not going to be talking. I agree. Pying my pussy.

You you wrap up the combo. Yeah. So she sent a vid to him and then he he responded i'm hoping sweetheart you didn't send a video of you like fingering your pussy and he went mia yeah and then he's like i'm getting salad what's up but like what if he answered and he was like holy shit that's the hottest thing i've ever seen then i think you say i think you can use my line right fuck i cannot wait to fuck you like i'm so horny for you yes when's the next time I can see you? And then it will just like naturally transition.

I think that's like one of the, I think that's my go to. And if it ends like I just came and then he's like, I just came. I think you can always use my line. You can still be like, I'll see you later. Yeah. Like I can't wait to fuck you next. When can I see you next? Yeah.

Boom. Fuck. All right. That is it for this week. Dads. Dads. Daddies. Moms.? Yeah. Boom. Fuck. All right. That is it for this week. Dads. Dads. Daddies. Moms.

Dads. Sisters. Brothers. Children of the world. But everyone's a daddy. Everyone's a daddy. We hope you guys enjoyed this. I can't believe this is our 70th episode.

Oh my God. Please go follow us on Instagram. My Instagram is Alexandra Cooper. I'm Sophia Franklin. Sophia with an F. Franklin with a Y. And go follow Call Her Daddy. People, I think we're dming us saying that's not shadow band anymore and then people say we're still shadow band but regardless go follow all of our accounts go follow us on twitter

too they're all the same i'm pretty sure we're still shadow band i would assume considering the nature of our content instagram's like i'm sorry but we're not going to allow um the content they're like this is one that there's no appeal process. This is just it and that's it. Yeah. So we love you guys. If you guys could leave us a rating and review, you can leave as many as you want. You guys probably did it months ago.

If you guys could do that right now, that'd be really helpful. Also, send the link to an episode to a friend or a little bitch point. Let them know what's up. We love you guys so much. We love you guys. We will see you next week baby