Call Her Daddy - 84- The 3rd Roommate Speaks...

Episode Date: June 10, 2020

This week's guest is the infamous third roommate who lived with Alex and Sophia. The episode officially closes the chapter surrounding ALL the drama. ONWARD!!!

Do you call him daddy? Do I call her daddy? Call her daddy. What's up you little fucking skanks? It is Alex Cooper back at it again for another episode of Call Her Daddy. This week's episode is already making my vagina tingle i've had a couple drinks i'm so hung over but i've had a couple drinks i'm ready to go i am back in my parents basement where i belong um and i'm joined today by a guest um this guest

i'm gonna give a little introduction. Although she doesn't need it, I'm going to give it to her because I want to go off for a minute. The past couple weeks, everyone has been like, damn, Alex, your life fucking sucks. You literally lost your best friend. Your whole show went up in flames. You're a big, fat fucking joke. Duly noted. Thank you. whole show went up in flames you're a big fat fucking joke duly noted thank you the thing is

is if i've learned anything from these past few weeks it's that you got to keep your friends the ones that you've known for years and years and years close because they come and go apparently and so the person that's coming on the show today I have known since I was in second grade. And she lived with Sophia and I in the infamous 301. This woman's name, the woman, the myth, the legend, the sex pot, the goddess, the woman with the vagina that keeps on giving. No, it doesn't. She's a boyfriend.

I'm just kidding. Ladies and gentlemen, Daddy Gang, Lauren McMullen. Thank you. Thank you. I already feel like a member of the Daddy Gang. As you were giving me that intro, I got a nice little DM offering me $500 for a picture of my foot. Oh, my God. Round of a fucking applause, bitch.

It's like, of course. Of course you did. The daddy men know who you are. It's like, feet pictures up the asshole. Then they'll be asking you for nudes, bitch. Oh, God. Oh, bitch. It's like, of course, of course you did. The daddy men know who you are. It's like feet pictures up the asshole. Then they'll be asking you for nudes, bitch. Oh God. No God. Here you come. Well, thank you for having me. I have to say I'm definitely a little nervous. No, you have nothing to worry about. I know it's like nerve wracking coming on a show and I appreciate you coming on. Um, aside from being nervous, aside from getting asked about your beautiful toes how are you feeling um i'm on the up and up i was pretty unwell earlier i do not know yeah speaking of

unwell i should fucking get royalties on that thing yeah literally lauren and i have been saying unwell for years and years and it used to be a saying we really it really started hardcore like college it was like zero to unwell how are you right now and i'm fucking unwell i keep forgetting that like this is like your actual job and like we're not down here just like shooting the shit in your basement i have to remember like oh yeah people are like listening to this right right just like a couple people are just like just a few no no big close pals yeah yeah just a few close pals anyways we had some amazing times when we were younger I think every single person listening to this podcast has a Lauren has a

best friend that you've known your whole life and I figured with everything going on this is the perfect person to have on is like really my first guest obviously I Dave on last week but you are you've known me and I think that the theme kind of throughout the past few weeks has been like me actually being able to show every side of myself um and there's i don't know anyone other than my parents that know me as well than you lauren um so i think a question i get asked a lot is like how are you friends with alex oh okay oh yeah yeah like what the fuck fuck that bitch yeah like is she always like standing on tables and screaming and like hooking up with millions of people and like dragging you along for the

adventure oh okay yeah and what do you tell them lauren um yeah like those things definitely do happen but like that's not like who you are completely like you're a very real person obviously you're my best friend yeah um and we do have those real moments and i think those moments have really come across a lot in like the past two episodes so I'm like really happy now that the world is getting to see you how I see you Lauren I know that was kind of really cute um no doubt such good times Lauren I'm gonna ask you just a few questions that the daddy gang had but to quickly give everyone listening um some background on how the hell we all even came to live together because i don't know if we've ever told that um lauren and i daddy lauren and i were planning on living

together then we wanted to get a three bedroom so we needed a third roommate and so we found sophia at random for that third roommate spot so like sophia and i are friendship we had this insane dynamic crazy amazing friendship at the time but we also didn't fully even know each other. Four months into moving into the 301, we started Call Her Daddy. So I've only known now Sophia in a total for three years. And so I think that's where we were learning about each other while starting one of the biggest shows on the internet. I know how that was for me. So I'm assuming that was like pretty wild for you too, Lauren. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. There's no denying the fact that it took me a bit of adjusting to get used to this new dynamic. Yeah. You were my childhood best friend and Sophia was the random roommate.

And to see the two of you connect instantly and your friendship grow so quickly and publicly. Yeah, it was hard. It was weird trying to find like a balance of making sure it wasn't always about the show. And trying to find time for just the three of us to just hang out and it not be about Sophia and I and call her daddy. I think though, the one thing that did really help was call her daddy was never an option for me. I never, not that I didn't want to, but I could never be a part of it. I was a full-time teacher, so I couldn't do that and be on a sex podcast. Right. I think that's important to mention. You were Teach for America you're now going you're a student now Lauren literally is at Columbia

University she's getting her master's like you literally have a had a complete different career path I think it's important to stress that I'm probably pretty similar to a lot of people listening to this podcast yeah and when we moved in you guys were too yeah caller daddy didn't exist when we all moved into the 301 no to put it in perspective i was making the most money out of all of us you were making what were you making 60 no 55 oh my god okay larm was making 55 000 a year at her teaching job teaching job um i think sophia was making like 50 52 and then at the magazine i was making 40 000 a year and then i went on to unemployment checks obviously not the case now no not the case now and then i on you drinks on me forever now i got you um the 301 early days

of us all moving in definitely allowed i think all of our degenerate ass sides to flourish and thrive and at the end of the day that place we had so much fucking fun like we just always had plans like i would come home and it's like all right well guys what are we doing let's fucking drink let's get wild i will never forget when sophia and i we kind of brent mentioned it on an earlier episode but it was like okay Alex is on unemployment checks you literally have to pay rent I had $1,300 worth of rent every month that I had to pay I was making $300 every two weeks every two weeks from unemployment check so I was making $600 from unemployment how was I going to make the $1,300 for fucking rent oh oh daddy no issue seeking arrangements motherfuckers so we get on seeking

arrangements we make this whole profile it's like you were blake blake i was blake i was literally changed your memo name changed my venom name everything i was blake and blake was my name and i was ready to go and so literally in the 301 we came up with what we were calling like the seeking arrangements scam and basically we would get into situations we pawn you out pawn me out yes thank you thank you and the goal was like i never wanted to do anything with these men it was just to go get drinks or dinner and by the end of the night get enough cash so i could make rent yeah we were like all huddled around the computer like sitting on like our one chair yes being like oh he looks kind of good like oh he's not too creepy yeah like oh like he could kind of work and so at the end of

the day like i obviously could have fucking asked my parents for the money but it was like we were just down for the craziest weirdest shit to do and it was never say no to anything yeah so i remember like one of the first dates i went on i'm literally shitting bricks i'm like what the fuck is this guy gonna kill me like what's gonna happen every single time we went lauren and sophia came as my body oh we were in the background chilling literally they would be at the bar and sophia and lauren and sophia came as my body oh we were in the background chilling literally they would be at the bar and sophia and lauren would be standing at the bar you guys would make a joke of it we're all black they'd be standing at the bars i'd go i have my drink i get paid and then

we'd go rage half the time i would go spend the fucking money before i could even spend it on rent the one time i me and sophia this was like one of the first ones and we're like guys guys you were saying guys guys guys don't worry like i'm just gonna talk to him me and sophia look over and you're making out with this 60 year old man no no he was not 60 that was a 30 year old one and i actually kind of found him hot because he also was like oh by the way i have a rooftop and we were such mooches we needed a rooftop to like hang out on and tan on so i'm over there and i'm like oh my god wait is this kind of like low-key hot do i have a no he was not hot at all he was not hot it was not but that was because you were pouring literally drinks

down my throat and at that point i was like anyone looks hot right now and also any type of money so i can pay my god oh yeah sophia and i would like be at the bar like oh can you send some shots over to the blonde girl in the back corner you guys are trying to get me fucked up and i'm like it's a good level of fucked up like we would pre-game before it but then i would get so fucked up i'm like is this like loki the fucking love of my life it's like no alex this is your seeking arrangements oh one guy was like do you know those people over there they're staring at us well we had a do you remember that we so laurence sophie and i had the protocol where i would secretly text them towards the end of the day and be like come interrupt and pretend that you're just casually running into me so the

two of you would come up to the fucking table i'm like oh my god sophia and lauren and i look at him and i'd be like oh my god these are like my really close friends he's like oh my god isn't your name blake and i'm like oh my god my name is blake alexandra if you were asking we we came up with this whole scheme and i think like in hindsight now i'm like what the fuck was I doing but it was fun it's an it's a life experience you tell your children no no you don't tell anyone that and I'm telling on a national podcast but we we did crazy just fun shit like that which now in hindsight I really want everyone to be careful and like I don't even know if you should be on that site but it was fun because you do make sure you bring two roommates with you to lurk in the background yes thank you they always made sure i got home safe and nothing really ever

happened it didn't happen too often but for a while i was really good on rent and it was okay okay so in the spirit of everyone wanting to know like what was it like living with sophia and i um people want to know like did you and i ever get in a fight um from like during living together oh was i mad at you oh my gosh the way that you're looking at me right now lauren is literally like oh bitch i've been waiting to expose you for this one you're like i never brought it up but what now's my time what um so you know i like was so bad with my key like our building you had to use like a physical key to get into the building and like a physical key to get into um our apartment yeah lauren was awful you were like annoying you really told us 24 7 be

like hi i forgot my key so sorry like locked out like so i'm coming back from going out it's like 2 3 a.m and And Sophia's out of town. And I call you. And I'm like, hey, Alex. I'm locked out. So sorry. I know I'm so annoying. Are you coming home?

Can I come meet you and get your key? And you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm having sex real quick. Just give me a second. And call me right back. I'm like, OK. That's fair. I'm annoying.

I've got to wait this one out. Right, right, right. And like 30 minutes pass. I'm like, all right. Come on. Let's's wrap it up come uh you ghost me all night ghost dead silent did i did i ghost and how how was that sex was it worth it it was awful guys daddy gang i had been eyeing this guy in new york city who literally in the bar hottest guy in the bar i was like this is the man i i actually used um i told you guys like a really long time ago how to pick up a guy at a bar i have this napkin trick that i always write my name and my number on a napkin and i go up to a guy and i'll be like do with this what you want and then

i hand it to him and i walk away and I remember using it on this guy and it was like the most perfectly played out situation he was so hot he took it he texted me we met up we hung out a couple times finally I go to have sex with this guy it was after like multiple like months of us putting in work and listen I've said in the past, small dicks for the win, but not in this situation. This guy's dick was the smallest penis I've ever seen. Again, I'm not trying to shame penises, but it was so fucking small. And I didn't know what he wanted me to do with it. Literally baby carrot on a fucking like baby carrot, carrot, carrot, baby carrot, shriveled

up level. And I go to have sex with him and he just was giving off big dick energy. So it was more of just like a shock and I literally felt nothing I felt like I was being penetrated by woofs of air and I was trying to have multiple sex with him like that night because I just was trying to I was just trying excuses I was trying to convince myself it'll grow round two it'll grow the sex ended up being awful i really liked him but like not only was it he's small that's fine but he did not know how to have sex like he literally was one of those guys that just kind of like belly flops on you and kind of like rubs up and down i'm like

is it even in like i don't know so meanwhile little larin stuck out on the streets of new york city while alex is having small dick sex and so i'm like okay i'm not i'm not gonna sleep like on the street right um my boyfriend was out of town at the time but i knew the code he had a little little step up a code to get into his building so i knew the codes i'm like okay i'm gonna get into his building and i'm gonna bang on the door like his roommates have to wake up and have to answer they did not and i have no idea why but there was a random mattress so sketchy looking back at it there was a random mattress in his hallway so i slept on a random ass mattress in a hallway of his apartment building and waited until it was 7 a.m i'm like she has to be awake now and i was like all right now i don't feel bad like i'm call call call call call so you're like

so sorry like i'll meet you at the apartment soon you arrive like we do not speak i am passive aggressive i remember you were giving me like yeah pissed off yeah Yeah. And I was like, no, trust me. I already want to fucking end it all because I just had the worst sex of my life. Not worth it. Try to go like, all right, I'm exhausted. I slept on a mattress in a hallway. I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Like 30 minutes later, I wake up to screams, screams.

And I'm like, what? What in the world is happening? And I realize you're having sex. And I'm like, are you serious? This happening? And I realize you're having sex. And I'm like, are you serious? This guy is back last night? All night wasn't enough? No, but it wasn't the same guy.

It was a different guy. This is making me sound really bad. And I know that. I was pissed. Listen, in my defense, I had this. Paper thin walls. Okay, yeah. So in the 301, literally the walls of this place, they were all like flex walls.

So like if one of us was masturbating, like I remember like Sophia Lauren and I would always jokingly be like, okay, I'm going to masturbate. So everyone go put headphones in because like if one of us was masturbating, it was like, okay, why doesn't everyone start masturbating right now? Because we're just going to like each other masturbating. So I literally, I remember like when Sophia had her ex-boyfriend and she would be like in a fight with him, you and I would be like in the kitchen or even in our rooms and we'd hear word for word, like, and then you didn't want to hear it, but you would have heard everything. Yeah. So this is during the time that i had broken up with my long-term boyfriend slim shady slim shady and and you know i think that every girl can relate listening to this you know give me a little bit of an out here like when you when you go and you have an awful awful awful hookup it makes you miss your ex because when you you have an ex you know sex with them

your sex is comfortable with them so when i had small dick sex with this bitch boy um i i was so depressed from that hookup and slim shady was in town and you know this bitch never misses a beat i was like it will make me forget the pain not even the pain i wish i was in pain i didn't feel fucking anything i it made me realize have slim shady over use him for his dick and get him out so slim shady trots on over to 301 which his remarks of our apartment it was the first time he ever saw where we were living we had no furniture at the time literally the biggest downgrade because mind you when i was living with my old like slim shady lauren kind of like half lived with us i squatted lauren full-blown squatted so every time he was

away on the road lauren had his full schedule printed printed and would come on the days he was at away games so we were living in this luxe-ass place in slim shady's place and when he and i broke up it was a little bit of a a little bit of a downgrade you could say um an absolute fucking shithole compared to what we were living in and i remember when he came over he was like you literally live in a closet i'm like bitch fuck me so he comes over and we have sex in the morning oh that's the night that you're you you broke the window or your head went out the window? Oh! Or should I say the morning?

It was 8 a.m. Yeah, it was 8 a.m. And you were on number two. You know, my head did go through the window. He was annoyed at me for something. I was annoyed. Yes. And then Lauren was annoyed because I think that was the loudest sex we had ever had.

The whole situation was quite um quite quite an interesting situation you know when you like leave a dick appointment that you genuinely are like i feel disgusting like that penis made me realize like i never want to hook up with you know when you like sleep on a random mattress and you wake up in the morning you're like i feel disgusting i'm sorry okay but to be fair that is like the one i feel like the one time like i did not come through as a good roommate other than that pretty top notch pretty top notch okay thank you um so the biggest question that i saw from the daddy gang for you is did you see the divorce between alex and sophia coming before they did can i like answer honestly like am i gonna get sued now no no no i think i think well

we can obviously edit it out but tell you can what would your actual answer be um it was a ticking time bomb oh okay you're like oh to be quite honest yeah it was a fucking shit show yeah oh okay can you actually that's really fucking interesting like i remember a few like instances like really specifically where you guys were in a situation and you like definitely tried to hide stuff at times like make it look a little bit better i think that's and you like definitely tried to hide stuff at times like make it look a little bit better i think that's something you like that's something you do yeah try to like yeah that's definitely the the bad yeah um but you call you called me and you're like i cannot believe what is happening right now like this is crazy and i was literally like holy shit

that's bad you kind of can't come back from some of those things and like they were there and like they happened and yeah i think like um knowing you were the only person that was witnessing some of the shit i did confide in you at times and i know what you're saying like there were certain situations where i felt like i couldn't tell my parents because i knew what my parents were gonna say it's like a boyfriend like you don't tell your parents your worst fights with your boyfriend because then your parents are like you cannot go back to him yes so I started to go to Lauren and I would call you at like breaking points and I like rarely do that so these were like moments that were so bad between Sophia and I that business-wise yeah um but you know I think that despite all the negatives that have come out I am glad that like we were able to just kind of go down a little

walk down memory lane of the 301 days because yes although it truly ended in an absolute fucking shit show the friendships were real and those were unforgettable times so on call her daddy i don't even know if we've ever really fully addressed being a wing woman being a wing man there is a specific situation that lauren and i get into every single time i start dating a guy if If there's one person I'm introducing the guy I'm dating to, to it's Lauren. And it's for the complete opposite reasons of what everyone would think. Oh, it's just your friend. No, no, no, no. It's all planned. It's literally nothing to fucking do with it. The plan is that Lauren is that friend that is like

nice enough, chill enough parties enough has a boyfriend. So she's not a not a threat to oh if I don't go out with my boyfriend that night no one's scared when I'm going out with Lauren they're like oh great thanks no but you know what I mean like they're like oh she's a boyfriend you have a boyfriend you two locked and loaded your vaginas are closed for the night so basically throughout life Lauren has been really great in helping me communicate with men when we stop talking specifically or when I'm in a fight with them. I'm the neutral third party. Yes.

So there have been many occasions where I'm Switzerland. Yes, you are Switzerland, bitch. You're a beautiful little Switzerland over there. The point of this daddy gang is Lauren would basically be able to at times reach out to one of my ex-boyfriends for me if I was, let's say, trying to put out feelers. Test the waters. Test the waters. See if he hates my guts.

Get a little pulse check. Pulse, pulse, bitch. Okay? It was basically we made sure that throughout my relationships, Lauren would have, and this sounds fucking nuts, Lauren would have enough of a relationship with these men so that she could slide in on a later date. Yeah.

To the point where like I needed to have previous texting conversations with them. So we could plan for the breakup. Yeah. So that like when I eventually send this like feeler text, it's not like the first text on my name popping up on their phone. It's not going to come off to them like, oh, is Lauren trying to fuck? You know, like, no, no no no so i will i think there's so many situations obviously with specific boyfriends that we've gone through and like you've been top notch a plus wing woman to the fucking

death catch restaurant here's the situation you already know i'm going with this i do lauren is with me at catch three martinis in a little fucking tits out for the boys that night, feeling myself. Lauren's looking amazing. We're looking hot. We're looking fresh and flirty. And of course the last thing we want to do is talk to one fucking man at the bar. No, no, no. Let's text one of my exes because why not? Cause we set the scene for this. We've been preparing for this for two years. We're ready for battle. So I'm sitting at catch with Lauren and I'm like, Lauren, I have like a really, really good thing for us to do tonight.

And I'm like, I really think we need to text Fabio. And I'm like, done. I'm in. Fabio, miss a good Fabio. I've been in a serious relationship and like I don't play games like this. So you enjoy this. Yeah. This is like a thrill for me.

I'm like, oh, like I can meddle in someone else's life and like not fuck up my own. this so you enjoy this yeah this is like a thrill for me I'm like oh like I can meddle in someone else's life and like not fuck up my own this is great oh yes okay go fuck myself yeah so Lauren gets to wake up the next morning and like she doesn't fuck herself over so she just helps me fuck myself it's like an outlet for me to get my crazy out okay so so we're sitting at catch and I'm like Lauren this is like such a good time let's text I'm just saying Fabio because like I don't know what else to fucking call him so I'm like Lauren what what is a way we can figure out a way to text him so this is also a step of the plan you have to figure out a text to send this person that's coming from my best friend to my ex-boyfriend what the fuck it needs to be like

logical like I need to it needs to be a question like I can't just text them like hey what's up how are you doing no no that's weird no Lauren go fuck yourself so it's like we tried it we sit there and another drink in it starts to come to us saturday it's midnight like what could i need from him in new york city on a midnight on a saturday drugs we're like this is so perfect drugs now mind you do we need drugs no but that's the only logical explanation other than a booty call at 12 o'clock on a saturday night what else can i text him about so this guy that i had been dating was known for having this like one drug dealer that was like the best guy in new york city this motherfucker we called him suit man i'm triggered wait that i didn't even okay that's not the same suit man

sophia's dating that's ironic um so this guy's suit man the reason we called him suit man was because this drug dealer was the classiest motherfucking drug dealer piece suit literally the man would show up in a beamer and a three-piece suit and a briefcase i mean this motherfucker was stunting around the city all right i hate i just fucking said that so we're like oh my god let's text him and ask him for suit man's phone number yeah perfect however not enough not enough for alex that night i was a little more fucking buzzed up by the time we were like getting the text you needed to add visuals we needed to get this motherfucker locked and loaded and remembering who the fuck he was missing out on like you really wanted to do a

reaction test like what would seeing my face what emotion would that evoke out of you so naturally you're like so what are you fucking talking about alex did you send him a picture of your clit no the first option was okay lauren it's been so long it's been two years since we've spoken to mr fabio why don't you send him a picture and be joking and like hey it's lauren and send a picture and be like this is me if you don't remember and what picture did you have me send of myself studying the picture was very strategically picked the picture is lauren is in the front and me and fabio are behind her making out no they were not making out they were like licking and sucking each other's faces face fucking in the middle i think his hands were like down your pants yes i was getting

fingered mid-photo i mean the details don't need to be fucking discussed the point is is that this picture we looked so fucking in love and so what i did is my psychotic ass was like we're gonna crop it just enough like take off our foreheads you're in the picture full frontal i'm in the background making out with fabio we crop the photo enough that it looks like lauren's like half-ass trying to make sure that oh the bad memory is getting cropped out but clearly we're leaving in the fact that we're trying to trigger him what is what is this memory how does it make you feel so now all of you are probably like alex you stupid bitch like what the fuck are you up to now i want you all to like sit for a

minute and think about this because it is it's kind of fucking brilliant when you think about it this is coming from lauren the most stable normal nice girl always had a good relationship with fabio i mean they could even fucking hang out if I wasn't there. Like, I trusted this bitch so much, and she's just like a top-notch golden star student. Okay? Then you're sending a picture that is going to warrant some type of emotional response. Coupled with a very rational text. Yes.

Hey, what's your drug dealer's number? Very rational. Okay? So the thing is, is that we don't have time to wait around. Sending a picture like this is going to elicit one of two emotions. We have two options here. Two options. irrational okay so the thing is is that i don't have we don't have time to wait around sending a picture like this is going to elicit one of two emotions we have two options here two options he's either going to want to fucking say go fuck yourself seeing that bitch's face i would rather die than engage in this conversation or it's going to bring back emotions it's going to bring back

the feels it's going to be like oh i remember the way her tongue slid in now i remember the way that pussy feels like i remember it all and i want it and so the point was is i wanted lauren to send all of this just this is all i wanted just to see how he was feeling because then i would know if i could re-engage and start having sex with this man again i didn't have a body in new york i was looking to re-engage and he was a prime prospect so lauren sends the fucking text. We're, like, taking shots. We're, like, he's not going to answer. He's not going to answer.

He answers positive up the asshole. Fabio comes through with, hey, Lauren, ha-ha, yeah, of course I remember. Like, motherfucker is being so nice, so sweet, tender. And if you're that nice to me, how much can you hate you? Exactly. So Lauren and I, I remember literally we were sitting at catch we're like we're like yes and listen if anyone's gonna fucking message me back alex like you literally tell us like never dm our boyfriends or like never reach out to our ex-boyfriends you aren't dming them no i'm not dming them no lauren is literally

lauren's one doing it i didn't do anything lauren did it i do wake up from these instances and i'm like what what did i just involve myself i know i know sometimes like i'll take lauren's phone oh my gosh i forgot about that you would take my phone and you would text him psycho things and then you would delete all the messages and i would wake up with like angry and like weird texts from him I'm like Alex what what is this I'm like oh my god that's so weird like I have literally no idea there was a couple times in my lifetime more than a couple times that I would take a little too much advantage of Lauren's relationship with these men that was a small phase it was you quickly learned that it was involving you too much yeah I think also something to be said and like i've had a lot of conversations with my mother about this one but like there is a huge

difference between you were you're my best wing woman my wing man for a very long time has been milf hunter and i think that the dynamic between the two of us there was one relationship i was in that milf hunter specifically got really fucking involved in you two became one literally became one like it got the person was dating you and milf yes literally like that is how bad it was and i know that sounds like no that's not a thing no it was no it was a thing like i would hear them on the phone they'd be like so should we say this and like should we send him this pic we we literally and and it sounds so crazy to me now but for a while I think we had such a especially in college it was so fun dating these guys and being able to have my male best friend

and I like come together and I would give the female side and he'd give me the male side and we'd create this concoction of like the perfect dating situation and I'm saying it now and I'm like no that's actually psychotic that's like not okay in the head like you psychos but it got addicting because we would see every time we would send the text we would get exactly what we wanted back and it was like we had this like machine that we would churn out this fucking content and i feel like that's almost how i started the show it was like i had this playbook that I was living by and then slowly throughout time I was like okay wait yeah that's a good way to put everything was by the playbook there was nothing

like off script yes and so I think that's where I had to really take a step back and be like bitch you need to get into therapy no I'm just kidding but I was like hold on that's not real life that's not real life and I think at times like we milf hunter and i were almost both too toxic together on call her daddy we've always like told you guys games are good to a certain extent and i think throughout my entire life i've been learning to like refine the games i think at times you can get so sucked into playing games and it can get fucking out of control oh yeah it can get out of control yes but you gotta you gotta reel it back in you gotta reel it in and know like when to not play as many games um and i think that that's imperative in order to making the games work if you play too

many games all the fucking time then there it's just like one big fat fucking game and you need a relationship too oh wait really yeah i sometimes forget i know you do um so i would encourage you all having a wing woman is is key and it just reads you can read the situation without actually doing it yourself yeah and we always say don't fucking text him fucking block his ass well you can block his ass but then you can have fucking lauren texting it's kind of beautiful so all right holy shit as much as we are closing one chapter obviously i think this is like the last time we're gonna ever discuss like the deep dark details and the 301 time goodbye 301 i know it's kind of sad but i'm so happy you came on this week i think it was

like it's obviously difficult right now i'm trying to like figure out my way and figure out how i'm having to podcast with new people and on my own. But I think like maybe you could explain to anyone like what was his experience like for you? Like what did you expect from the podcasting? Yeah, no, I was definitely thinking like I would walk down here. We'd have some we'd have some drinks and like just go. And no, that was not the case at all. It's it. This is fucking hard.

I give you props. Oh, thank you um yeah you have to like tell a story and you have to like act that story and yeah it's kind of exhausting i think like we podcasting and everyone in podcasting makes it sound so easy until you get in front of the microphone it's like a very very challenging dynamic and i know it sounds simple but it's it's not it's kind of exhausting no yeah And I'm pretty tired, but I have a midterm on Tuesday. You're like, I'm actually so done with this. Thank you so much for having me.

I need to go to school now. It's been real. Goodbye, Daddy Gang. So everyone, before I get into the last segment of the show, I think that it's really important to reiterate and continue the conversation that I opened with for last week's episode. Right now, the world has a huge opportunity for positive change. And by continuously bringing it up helps echo the idea that this is not just a phase. This is continuous work that needs to be done. Yeah, I completely agree with you.

I feel like at this point, a lot of people have hopefully done those like tangible acts like making donations, attending protests, calling representatives, signing petitions. But I think a lot of people at this point are feeling like what's next? What's now and how do we keep this momentum going? Yeah. And Lauren and I have been like kind of having conversations about it and I think that we both agree I think it's engaging and having the really difficult conversations especially with people that don't see eye to eye with you and in order to have those conversations we need to obviously understand how we got here and how this is truly a systemic problem. It's not the burden of people of color to teach us. And I think a great place for us to gain this like insight that we all need

that we're looking for is through there's documentaries that Lauren and I were looking up and we've watched that are on the internet right now. One of them is called 13th. It's on Netflix, but it was actually just made um free for the public you can go onto youtube and watch it and then by the same director the movie selma has also been made free for the public um yeah some other things that i've watched that have been really insightful uh when they see us um and then time the khalif browder story they're both also on netflix yeah guys so i just i encourage you i'm gonna do the same that we continue to just keep educating ourselves do the work keep persistent in this black lives matter movement don't let this die okay i love you all thank you can i get the q u e s d i o n

questions of the like questions guys i got a lot of fucking complaints every single guy in my DMs is like, no bitch, literally please stop because you go from like a five to a one real fucking quick. But it seems like all the women like this show. And why am I a little bit more team fucking female? Oh, cause I have a fucking vagina. So every guy that's listening to this and you're like, bitch, you are so fucking busted when you do that. I don't give a fuck. Okay. I would suck the fucking tip off of your dick in two seconds. Go fuck yourself. Okay. Anyways, we're going to get into questions of the week. Um, I know all my silent suffers out there. I'm really sorry. Just fucking plow through this with me. Okay.

I'm sorry. I have to do it. I have to do it. It's like a tick. Okay. I'm going to read this question and I don't even need to fucking comment. Well, I'm going to, I comment on everything, but I'm going to read this. And I think everyone that is new to this podcast if you're listening to this please listen the fuck up OG daddy gangers will know this but I think it's really important to reiterate this a daddy gang member wrote in and said I just want to say everyone needs to listen the fuck up y'all everybody needs to listen to what call her daddy has been saying in a previous, you said to never get a man something for his birthday unless y'all are dating or married. Well, I've been talking to a man for seven months now, and we are not about to date because we both are in college. His parents know about me, and he's even told me he loved me.

But when I tried to send him cookies for his birthday he ghosted me never send shit unless y'all are fucking engaged i took the l and now i'm moving on i should have listened to the father as we go on we remember all the dumb bitches that gave them presents. Just knock it the fuck off. I don't know how many times I have to say it. If you are stressing about a guy's fucking birthday or Christmas or Valentine's Day or whatever the fucking holiday you think warrants a gift for this motherfucker knock it the fuck off you are a hole he is a penis until you have a ring on your finger there's no fucking faces involved okay people ladies especially men get freaked the fuck out if you show up at his fucking porch like Jeremy I got you a present happy birthday Jeremy

he's like bitch bitch, fuck you. Okay. Then all of a sudden, all the other bitches are going to look way more fucking attractive than your asshole. I swear to God, there's something about gifts and men, but not even being like, I have a special gift for you for your birthday, Jeremy. And then like, it's a blow job. No, you don't even let him know that, you know, the day that he came out of the vagina.

Okay. Hi, father. i love you in the podcast so much daddy gang forever i fucking love you bitch you might have already touched upon this another episode but i need help when the guy i'm hooking up with goes down on me he mostly focuses on everywhere but the clit but when he's gone on my clit it feels so amazing but it just never lasts long how do i tell him to stay on that without shattering his ego please help me father we have to all keep in mind every man on this podcast is going to be like fuck you but it's the truth men are little fragile pieces of shit okay i was gonna say glass but shit sounds way better men are fragile pieces of shit and you have to make sure you you cradle them and you nurture

them especially when it comes to any issues in the bedroom that you're having a man's penis is way smaller than his actual penis okay because it's in his brain if he thinks that he's not pleasing you his penis literally inverts into his belly button he loses all hope so how do we go about this if he is hitting a specific spot with his tongue right in that moment I'll usually literally just say like fuck babe keep doing that and sometimes what I do is I will lightly clench my legs and butt and body when he's doing something down there that I'm like oh fuck yes that feels good if men sense a change in your body like if you tense up a little bit they usually will at least I mean if they're not that fucking stupid they usually will get the hint and they'll keep going with that because they're you're basically giving them your body is reinforcing something they just did.

And like a dog, it's like, yes, boy. Good boy. Oh, you're doing so great. And then hopefully he'll get the fucking hint and he'll zero in on the clip. And if he doesn't, kind of like we tell men, like to shove her fucking head down and suck the dick, like make her fucking force feed on your penis. We never said that did we well i just did um just push his head up towards the clit and be like up here up here good boy up here like get it right jared get it fucking tight bruno god okay this is a question actually that's i feel like a reoccurring question that i've seen throughout and i know i've kind of answered this before but I want everyone to listen because it has to do with sexting.

Okay. And we're all out there sexting little fucking whores. Okay. Hey, Alex. So I have been sexting with this guy that I'm talking to. And a couple times now I have fallen asleep during the conversation. To be clear, we've been sexting at like 2 a.m. and he takes like 20 minutes to respond sometimes because he's at work. So it's not like I'm falling asleep because I'm

uninterested. Anyways, in the morning when I open his message, what is the best way to respond? Should I make a comment about how hot, dirty his sext is or is the moment over and I should just be like, hey, good morning. Thanks in advance. Love the podcast, Daddy Gang. All right. Hello, Daddy. As we know here on Call Her Daddy, sexting is such a delicate dance. If the person you are sexting does not respond in a timely manner you need to just end it it's over you are in a time window and it's very difficult if that motherfucker is even 20 minutes that's a long ass fucking time to wait for another sex to come back so if they send you something and you wake up the next day this is how i personally go about it you acknowledge him so he doesn't feel weird but then you give him the out I think that's one of my favorites so like damn not mad about waking

up to that um I can't wait to see you next I'm so horny babe and then you send a follow-up text the double text right away changing the subject to what are you up to today you want to a lot of times I like to acknowledge him um so, so he doesn't feel weird. So he doesn't feel like, okay, that bitch did not think that was hot or like, oh, this is awkward. But then you give you both an out. It's a new day. The it's a new day. The birds are chirping. You're one with the Lord. So switch up the subject. Hi daddy. How do I tell my friend that I think she's being used? My friend has been seeing this guy, and I'm not sure how serious it is.

But lately, I've noticed that she's always driving him around. She goes out of her way to pick him up, even though his car works just fine. Bailed on our plans, pays for literally everything, his bar tabs, groceries, parking tickets. I even checked out her Venmo and there's nothing from him. Oh, bitch, you're on your shit. I've only been at her place for less than a week and she's hung out with him more than I have with her, even though I'm leaving in a couple of days. I don't know if it's my place to girl um this is tough I mean I think anytime if I've learned anything about friends and getting involved with boyfriends and guys

I personally think that it's better to stay out of it um again though I don't know you didn't clarify if this is like your best best friend. I think that you can bring it up once and maybe ask usually I would do it maybe in a joking way. It also depends like what kind of girl this is. But you could be like, dude, does he ever pay for anything like holy shit, you're literally his sugar mama and kind of make a joke about it, but kind of also like a little jab and see her reaction. If she's like, I know, but the dick is just so good. I don't give a fuck. kind of also like a little jab and see her reaction if she's like i know but the dick is just so good i don't give a fuck then that's like a good sign it's like oh well at

least she fucking knows and that's her decision she's an adult but if she gets defensive and it's like what the fuck are you talking about like relax stay out of my business then i think you need to leave it when girls are with guys especially in the early stages, if they are super hyper focused on that relationship and they're like all the fuck in it, sometimes no matter what you say, it literally will go in one ear and out the other of your friend because they are literally mesmerized by the fucking dick. is not a dick so like she's not fucking listening to you sweetheart the dick is the main goal and you're just on the fucking side so sometimes as much as it sucks just chill out and wait and she'll hopefully come to her senses but it kind of yeah i get it it sucks it's like what the fuck where are you why are you not around it's like i lost my friend bitch trust me i get it it fucking sucks but sometimes it's worse to get involved because then you become the enemy as opposed to just waiting it out and letting her come to her senses. Hi father, how much texting is too much texting? I've been talking to this guy for a month and we haven't hung out in person yet. We plan to in a

couple weeks, but I'm not sure how much to text him or to not text him and how much time should I give him between texts? This guy sends me good morning and good night texts and I'm pretty sure he's down to fuck, but I don't want to seem too clingy. I think this is an amazing question. I think I need way more details obviously to get into detail for each specific situation, but this is my favorite technique. If you're kind of talking to a new guy, I think it's really, or a new girl, I think it's really important that you space it out and you have very sporadic texting. I have gone through many trial runs with human beings. Okay. And I think the best thing is everybody loves, you've had that one person that you get a texting buddy and you guys go crazy. You're back and forth. You're in it to win it.

And it's like addicting. And you're like, holy shit, this person is so fun to text. But regardless of that connection, like I've had it with guys where I'm so compatible. Eventually there's an end date on that. Eventually, you almost over talk too much shit and then it kind of fades out. So my favorite thing to do is right off the bat, I pick a very spaced out balance. And what I mean by that is like you have to be careful to not overdo it, but to also confuse them. Healthy. Yes, it is um i think it's good to disappear sometimes for like a whole day and then slide in later that night and have a pretty detailed fun upbeat conversation but then what

i usually do is i will end it by having him send like whatever text he's gonna send and i won't answer him pretend you fell asleep then it's in your court to text him the next day. But what the goal is, is you should be sporadic enough and entertaining enough in those spurts of conversations that he double texts you the next day being like, hey, what's up? Like once it's like one o'clock, two o'clock and he still hasn't heard from you, hopefully he's like, where is this bitch? I want to talk to her and then answer right away when he texts you. I don't think that you should be waiting like hours to answer. If you're at your phone, answer, but just be cautious about like the big

chunk conversations, space them out enough and go MIA sometimes. And sometimes I think it's good to like leave them on read, not in a petty way, but just kind of like a, oh, there's nothing to say to that. I'll text you later kind of thing. If I send a text that doesn't warrant a response, I have a lot of respect for a guy that will just like leave me on read kind of gets my vagina feeling some type of way guys I think I think that's it for this week make sure you guys go follow me on social media on call her daddy Instagram and Twitter and then also my personal Alexandra Cooper um also if you guys want make sure you go follow lauren who is on today at what is your at lauren for and life is spelled weird right

and make sure you guys go follow lauren her instagram is lauren l-a-r-e-n the number four life l-y-f-e i know i'm gonna have a conversation with her about that i actually retract everything that was just said on the podcast why the fuck is that her instagram handle okay i love you guys so much i will see you fuckers next wednesday