Call Her Daddy - 93- The Sloppy Toppy Delight

Episode Date: August 19, 2020

This week is a solo episode with your father! Alex is detailing her sexcapades with Mr. Sexy Zoom Man ft. her cum in his beard, his pussy eating skills, her sex with him, and a battle between him and another man that made her realize how she feels about him. Alex also gets deep and opens up to the Daddy Gang about anxiety and some hate she has been receiving. AND OF COURSE, you all know when you leave Alex alone with a solo episode… you are getting a new blow job tip!!!! This bad boy focuses on the upper third region of the penis and a multi-tasking moment with the taint. Enjoy!!!

do you call him daddy do i call her daddy call her daddy daddy gang what the fuck is up it is your founding father back at it again for another episode of call her daddy oh my god i had sex i got my vagina eaten out i met miley cyrus i'm in a really good fucking mood daddy gang is that you welcome back guys um this week is about to be a solo episode although i'm doing this and like my friend lauren is just over in the corner of my room. She's on her phone. Sometimes when I'm podcasting at home, I just like someone to just like kind of sit near me, but I have to be very close to them because I get a little uncomfortable. I'm like, and then the penis entered the asshole, the asshole, the penis went in my asshole

and then I passed out. So Lauren, I may have you come over here in a little bit to ask me some questions and to, you know, I don't know, switch up the tone of the fucking episode. We can only listen to Alex for so long, but for now you can sit over there and keep doing whatever the fuck you're doing. Hello, daddy gang. Alex, you just said you had sex what excuse me oh um yeah I did guys I'm so I can you tell I'm in a good fucking mood like I am having great fucking sex right now there's no denying it I'm not gonna beat around the bush and it's hitting right and in corona listen in the beginning of corona I remember back in the day talking to you guys like hey the cobwebs have

formed and my pussy feels like it's sewn shut the next time i have sex i'll be like a born again virgin um that's kind of i feel i bet how we all feel unless you're like in quarantine with a significant other it's just it's hard so when mr sexy zoom man took took his Peter Pecker and shoved it inside my gut, I started crying tears of joy. I'm going to dissect for you guys what the fuck is going on with Mr. Sexy Zoom Man. Just because I'm excited about it. And I also know that we're all in quarantine and there's not that much fun shit happening. So why not give you guys the dirty details and we can all pretend that we're fucking him. Daddy gang, I will allow us all to pretend

like we're fucking Mr. Sexy Zoom Man. Okay? Okay. The last I left you guys off was I told you that we had gone on our first business meeting date slash thing and we hooked up and then I quickly left you with a little cliffhanger and I was like and then he ate my pussy like a god so Alex now you're saying you had fucking sex you whore that's exactly what I did the glorious night of when he ate me out I'm just gonna start from there

like let's just get fucking right into it oh my my God, Alex, I'm so excited for you. You got your pussy. I know. And here's the thing. I, a lot of times would rather have sex or get fingered because the amount of men that do not really, and it's not even their fault, but like a lot of men just aren't the best at eating a girl out and even if they're decent sometimes the way the way that those poor men think that their tongue is hitting my clit sometimes you're like so that's my belly button like no they're not at your belly button they're just like in your asshole no but sometimes a guy's tongue can just not do physically impossible do what a vibrator can do and some guys have stronger tongues than others but some i'm just kind of like hey okay you can just come up here start fucking me this is getting

really boring well the game has fucking changed daddy gang gang, Mr. Sexy Zoo Man eats pussy like a god. I fucking hate saying that because that's giving him way too much power, but it's fucking true. So I go over and we wake up in the morning and before I know it, rise and shine. My pussy is thrown on top of his face. he grabs me and he lifts me up and he puts me and I'm sitting on his face and he starts eating me out and I am like oh god like it's the morning I'm not really in the oh oh wait oh oh oh mr. sexy zoom zoom oh fuck guys it was pretty fucking amazing and I was so surprised because I don't

I didn't know him that well enough sexually yet I had such good chemistry with him but when I tell you that I had an orgasm on his face I had an orgasm on the man's face and I was honestly really just in shock within myself and so proud of my vagina because I was like, usually I feel like a guy one on the first time he's going to eat me out. I probably won't come. And to the fact that I was so wet that I fit. I like come. I'm like, oh, my God, that was. Oh, my God.

Like freaking out, like holding onto his headboard. And I lift off his fucking face and my cum is entangled in this man's beard and like not that that's I mean that's amazing that's super hot but some guys are like fucking bitch boys and I like tell him I'm like oh fuck like I'm like in your beard and he looks in the mirror and he's like that is the fucking hottest thing I've ever seen like holy fuck I want to eat you out again so that was amazing so then you're all like I'm so happy when the fuck did you fuck you slut okay I'm getting there you guys relax I'm getting there so he was like I want to take you away for the weekend um let's go to Santa Barbara we can go to the beach we can drink we can get a good dinner

I have a couple places out there that I want to bring you and I'm like okay so you want to have sex no but at that point this was like six dates in and I was really fucking wanting to fuck I'm like I and listen on my podcast in the past I have told you guys I have this thing I do where I make a guy wait for a really long time to have sex with me it's just something I've done for a while it's very calculated but also I've said but if you wanna fuck then fuck I've always said that and so in this moment I wanted to have fucking sex I like literally wanted to get fucked. I'm like, this is what I want. So I did it overall just to give you guys the grading of the sex. The sex is amazing. And I need to literally save the sex and all the details for an entire new episode because

I don't want to continue this vagina monologue. But it's it is amazing. Now, all of you are like, congrats, Alex Are you in love? What about door number three? Ah, what's going on? Guys, just relax, okay? Calm down

I've been talking to my therapist Everything is fine I want to tell you guys a little story This is how, Lauren This is how I really know I like him and this is the Alex Cooper fucked up way of knowing I like him one night we had just fucked great sex time to go to bed it was like 12 30 at night and I'm laying there, and here's the thing. There was another man in LA that I have never met in my entire life, okay? Never met him.

I'm sure he's a great guy. And if Mr. Sexy Zoo Man hadn't come into the picture, I definitely would have gone and hung out with this man. We had been messaging on Instagram, then we were texting, and he had been wanting to hang out with me. But then I met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man, and one thing led to another, and I was, like, at his fucking house every night, and we were having the he had been wanting to hang out with me but then I met Mr. Sexy Zoo Man and one thing led to another and I was like at his fucking house every night we were having the best fucking sex so I'm laying there after we just fucked and I look at my phone and the other guy

in LA is like hey come to the studio let's hang out now young thug young old alex would have been like peace mr sexy zoo man i'm gonna double dip tonight and head on over to the studio and meet this other la man i went as far daddy gang as looking up the address to where this guy said he was it was eight minutes away from mr sexy zoo man's house that's how close i got to getting up putting my clothes on like the whore i am and striding down to some fucking studio to hang out with him and his friends and start drinking at one in the morning and mr sexy zoo man is like what are you doing and i'm like oh i think i like i might leave i'm acting so fucking weird he's like what do you mean you're gonna leave like babe we just like what are you doing like we're going to sleep I'm like yeah I know I think I have to leave psycho Alex this is

the only time I was acting a little crazy around him because I was having an internal battle and let me kind of walk you through what that was it was like this guy is amazing we just had such amazing sex but also me not knowing if I want to like feel tied down and not feel caged in I was like go see the other man so that you leave LA and you saw both and I'm trying to justify it in my head and I'm like no it will be good because maybe it will make you like Mr. Sexy Zoo Man even more. Like, fuck off, Alex. No. So old me would have left. But I also know, here we go, Daddy Gang, are you listening? Maturity. Every single time I have done this in the past, usually when I leave the guy that I was in bed with, usually, historically speaking, I mean, there's a couple one-offs,

it wasn't the case, but usually I regret leaving and going to see the other guy. So I'm sitting there with Google Maps open, checking how long the Uber will take. Poor Mr. Sexy Zoom in staring at me, looking so fucking hot, had just fucked my brains out.

Amazing orgasm, top notch, couldn't have asked for fucking better I look down at my phone I close my phone I don't even answer the guy I literally told him I was coming don't even answer him put my phone on his nightstand and I go to bed with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man now I don't want to get emotional and I don't want to start crying but the personal fucking growth here folks okay and my therapist said this is amazing so just fucking be happy for me okay I'm pretty fucking proud of myself because then in the fucking morning I was so fucking happy that I stayed this bitch got me breakfast in bed. We fucking went to his country club. He

took me like we were having the best fucking day. And then he finally brought me home at like three o'clock in the afternoon. We had an amazing day together. I just wanted to share that story with you guys because and I ended up telling Mr. Sexy Zoo Man that that happened. Oh, hello. I just I thought that to me, which I do commend the other la guy for he literally kept reaching out and he even could tell there was someone else and he like made a joke like well if you're not with the other guy why don't you come over i do commend him for keeping and being persistent but my headspace was like i don't know what the fuck is gonna happen with Mr. Sexy Zoo Man but what I do know is that I'm having great fucking sex right now like really fucking top-notch hello I'm having fucking amazing orgasms this guy is eating my pussy like a god like this is the shit that I

fucking want and I want for all the daddy gang and I'm sitting there and if I'm in a fucking bed where I'm getting fucked right and that was the goal then why the fuck would I leave to just go hang out and schmooze with someone that I don't even know I have never met he's a super cute guy I'm sure he's amazing and I may meet him one day but for that trip I'm like why am I leaving this bed this man is giving me everything I fucking need right now obviously we love to keep our roster full but if you're in bed at the time with the guy that's fucking you right hello golden stay you fucking loser and that's what i did lauren's like talk about your feelings um i think overall i'm really enjoying his company we're actually going away for my birthday which is exciting so the next week there's not going to be an episode and then the

next week there's not going to be an episode you guys know that we have 40 episodes this year um and so the last week of august and then the first week of september for labor day there are no call her daddy episodes so i figured okay cool i'm gonna go away for my birthday i never celebrate my birthday and mr sexy zoom man was like i want to take you somewhere so yeah so i'm excited i think it's going really well did he ask me to leave the country with him in a few months and go on a work trip with him? Yeah. Are we making plans for the future? Yeah. Am I obsessed with him? I don't know. What's happening, Alex? What about door number three? Yeah. He's still in the picture. I think he feels me pulling away a little bit. Lots of updates,

but for right now we're fine. Like it's fun. We're having great sex and it's good for content. So we'll keep going. He keeps asking me. He's like, so is this for content? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah, you're in my life for content. But we also like his dick. I don't hate this.

Okay, so I'm going to lose my fucking mind because I recorded an entire section with Lauren and we were getting really deep and opening up and it was a fucking great time. And then I just went to edit the episode and my entire fucking microphone is like fucked up and the cord is half broken, which I didn't realize. So I just had to go get a new fucking cord and you can't hear one fucking thing I was talking about with Lauren. So that's just welcome to fucking Wednesday, guys. What a great day. But in the spirit of keeping the theme that I was talking about with Lauren, basically, this is annoying because I have to redo this, but this is the first time you guys are hearing it. I wanted to get a little deep with you guys just for a minute. And I promise I'm not going to do

this the entire episode. I'm going to get fucking wild in a second. Tell you guys just for a minute and I promise I'm not going to do this the entire episode I'm going to get fucking wild in a second tell you guys blowjob tips tell you guys quarantine tips but for a second I just want to be really honest with you guys because I essentially went on to Jackie Schimmel's podcast called the bitch bible and on that podcast Jackie asked me some pretty deep questions and serious questions and I answered them honestly. And I had a couple of Daddy Gang members reach out to me and be like, hey, like I thought this is what you were going to do in this new single father era. And like, why aren't you talking about this on your show? And I think honestly, I'm going to dissect this

situation for you guys quickly, just so you guys can try to understand where I'm coming from we're like basically this show when I don't talk about sex the horny men got upset they're like that was the most boring episode like the men loved the Savannah episode and then there were some girls that were like oh my god I don't think it needs to always be about sex like I loved your Lauren episode where you guys were like more real and open so there's constantly people that are loving one side and then hating the other side and it's just it's like you can never fucking win but that's where I just have to take my creative control and trust in myself to make the best episodes but sometimes it's not as easy as it fucking looks and I I'm gonna tell you guys about this and I meant to tell you guys but I first kind of opened up about it on Jackie's podcast the night before I released

the Lauren episode that was the third episode into like the new single father era um I had a full-blown panic attack mental breakdown anxiety whatever the fuck you want to call it and I was like losing my fucking shit and you're all probably like what like why bitch just upload the episode it was great um I literally was in I will never forget where I'm sitting in my parents living room I'm editing the show and I had to literally just stop it was the first time like I got up I couldn't even listen to the episode guys I went over onto my parents couch and I just curled up into fetal position and I like literally couldn't move had a full-blown mental breakdown and my parents had to talk me through it for like a fucking hour and I know this sounds so fucking stupid but just bear with me here um the anxiety I had of wanting to make sure that the episode was

so fucking good for you guys because it was going to be the first episode that was kind of like off of the drama let's start the podcast into a new era and I didn't think it was good enough I didn't know if it was funny enough I didn't know if it was interesting enough and so I had a full-blown mental breakdown and my parents eventually were like Alex you need to get the fuck off the couch you need to get in front of the computer edit it and put it fucking out and maybe it's not going to be the best episode maybe it won't be the funniest or the most sexual but I promise you like life goes on and this sounds fucking depressing as shit but I don't know I just think everyone can relate in life when you care so much about something obviously the stakes are higher your job a project that you're working on a fucking midterm an exam whatever the fuck it is

a relationship when you're invested emotionally in something so much I care more about this show than I care about my relationships right now like that's where my head is at I give a fuck way more about this show so when I don't think that it is what it the best it can possibly be because I'm such a fucking psycho perfectionist yeah I fucking lose my shit like I'm like fuck and that was me in that moment and I never shared that with you guys I think just because I want this podcast to be so fun for you and it because it is fun for me but the amount of criticism that comes with doing shit like this, and I'm not being like, oh, woe is me,

but it's just fucking wild. Like, I was talking to Lauren about it, and now it's all not going to fucking be on here, but I was saying to her, in the beginning of when all the drama happened and the new era began, I tried to be super interactive on Reddit with people, and I wanted the daddy gang

to take part more so in the show with me and as time went on I realized I can never read reddit ever again it's the most toxic fucking place it's filled with a bunch of anonymous people that can hide behind their screens and say a bunch of shit they would never dm it to me because their name would be there but like on Reddit, people feel so powerful and they're so mean. And all they do is talk about how they want this and they want this. And it's this isn't as good and this isn't as funny. Let me just have a little Alex Cooper moment here for a second, because I just want to say this and I've wanted to say this. But like I was like, oh, is that mean? No, I don't't care if you don't like my podcast I beg of you I beg of you go start your own podcast

go ahead try I want to see you fucking start your own podcast and meet me up on the fucking charts and I know that sounds cocky but I don't give a fuck the amount of work I put into this fucking show the people that have such negative shit to say about it on a daily basis and you go on and you troll on these places I'm like I beg of you bitch start a fucking podcast let's see I want to see you interview Miley Cyrus let's see how many questions you can get out and I don't and I know people are gonna be like Alex you don't need to address the haters. It's not really about that. I think it's more so just like my stream of consciousness is like, I'm so fucking proud

of this show. But with that comes honesty that like I do have shitty days. And I think a lot of people are like, is it all a facade? Like, is she always? No, it's like fucking Instagram. I come on here and I talk about the sex I'm having and the great shit that's going on in my life. But if you want to know the shitty stuff, yeah, I fucking stress out about this show 24-7. This is my life.

And it's like every week I want to make the next episode better and better and better. And I want to keep growing and I want to learn how to interview people. Trust me. Are you guys ready for a goddamn blowjob tip you're like Alex we're about to literally lose our minds stop being so fucking depressed we love you I fucking love you guys too but I just had to say it because I do have fucking feelings and I do feel shit on a daily basis and that is what I promised you guys to share with you more in this new single father era and I apologize if I kind of like forgot that for a second I do a lot of talk in my therapy and then I come on here and I'm like in a good mood when I record um but the people

that are so positive which is the majority I fucking love you guys, your DMs, your support means everything to me. And I think as much as like my scale is a little bit bigger because I have this online platform, I do think everyone can relate. Like everyone gets hate on the internet, whether you know your friends were talking shit about you because you posted a selfie and you were feeling yourself. And then there are those fucking bitches that are assholes to you. And they're like, that's so embarrassing. Why is she posting pictures like that? Or people that are just constantly shitting on you in social settings. You've everyone has had mean girls in their life. Like, trust me. So go fuck yourselves. If you're listening to this show as a hater, literally, I would say suck my clit, but I wouldn't even give you that fucking privilege you goddamn

fucking skanks daddy yang i fucking love you i'm so sorry for this rant but i just had to say it i'm fine every week mental breakdown on a daily basis before i press upload bear with me here though we're fine we're fine are you guys okay my therapist is gonna be like so what was that this week Alex you seem on the verge of an absolute breakdown I'm fine I'm twitching but I'm completely fine 110% not okay but okay so now for a blowjob tip that's so disgusting no I'm kidding. Okay. Here's the thing. As I start to get a little sexual with you all, daddy gang, here's the thing that's happening in my life right now. Men that I'm hooking up with expect the gluck luck. They expect me to show up and do the double hand twist. Okay. So I've got to fucking come up with a few new fucking moves, smooth moves, which I'm pretty sure it's a dietary thing or something that

you eat so you can poop. So not smooth moves. Okay. What I want you to do is I'll close your this okay we're focusing on giving a hand job at the top of the dick okay you're gonna use your whole hand literally like all four five four fingers yeah if you have four fingers use four if you have five fingers use five i don't know your life okay you're gonna take your whole hand and you're going to basically like grip right below the tip of his dick so you're like on his shaft but like right below that little rigidity ridge where the wiener hole starts like the wiener tip mushroom looking thing fucking happens okay with your mouth as wet as you can like literally i want it to almost be like wait this is like kind of gross it's so wet it's not gross it's amazing get it as wet as possible in your mind i want you to think of your tongue and your mouth being this wet cushion.

It's like the top of his dick is literally engrossed in a puffy, wet vagina feeling almost in your mouth, okay? So like you're going into it that your tongue is a little bit out of your mouth so it comes over the bottom teeth okay you're almost doing that thing where you kind of like flex your tongue into like more of a u-shape okay it's not just a flat brim tongue you're putting your tongue out of your mouth a little bit you're gonna keep your hand and your mouth together and your hand you're going to be twisting right and then going

back up and right and right and right and right so like everyone hold your hand for a minute okay put it in a like put your thumb and your fingers together so you have like a circle okay and you're twerking your hand right and going down a little bit, coming back up in a left motion and then going back down, right, twerking back up a little bit left. And you're kind of doing this like a little jerk off motion. OK, you're doing that at the top of his dick. You're doing that while the top of your mouth is sitting at the very top of your hands, slurping the tip of his dick while you're jacking him off into your mouth is this making any fucking sense it's like the flick of the wrist we're down we're up it's a cycle situation you're jacking him off but what I want what why I'm saying this is so good is because Because by you concentrating on the top of his dick, you are essentially condensing the sloppiness and it's all just sitting right there.

And I, ladies, listen to me if you take one thing. Well, there's a lot of things happening, but take this. I want you to be like slurping, ladies. In the past, with the gluck-gluck and other blowjob techniques, there's other things you need to be like slurping ladies in the past with the gluck, gluck and other blowjob techniques. There's other things you need to be focusing on this technique. You need to be slurping because there's no gagging in this part of the blowjob because technically his dick is not even going that far in your mouth.

I think you let's all pause for a minute. I hope you're all writing this down. That is key. You are not, this isn't like you're like deep throating his dick because you are holding the upper part with your hand. Think about that. So the mouth is not there to provide vertical up and down movement. Your mouth is there to provide the sloppy ass wet component and the noises you're keeping the top of your mouth connected to the top of his dick and you're basically just having your tongue sitting there to create this like cocoon for his tip and you're jacking him off onto that wet, fluffy, heavenly spot that feels amazing. Okay. Hello. I feel like I'm writing a descriptive narrative in school, but it's like all rated.

I feel like I would have gotten an A on this project. Okay. So everybody, are you with me? So it's like, okay. Disgusting. I know, but I'm just, i'm okay it sounds backwards but the blow job is basically all about the hand job like when i tell you guys you're jacking him off when i say that i also mean like your hands are literally half the time when you're rotating up towards the top i want you to literally go past his tip half the time and you're like almost your hand should almost be in your mouth when you go all the way twisting up to the top basically this sloppy mini blowjob technique it's like you're just condensing your blowjob into one area with one hand and your mouth being formed open sitting there fucking salivating on the top of his dick all my bitches that are like fuck i have cotton

mouth how do i get his dick wet how do i get dick wet? How do you suck dick when you're high, Alex? This blowjob technique for me is brilliant to start a blowjob with because by concentrating on the tip, the more you slurp in a concentrated area, slowly the saliva will start to build up because you're keeping that saliva close in your mouth. You're not spreading it all over his schlong okay and then slowly as you want to go into a different blowjob technique halfway through you can ensure it every inch you're taking just slowly gets super wet but don't move down any farther until that even just on the very fucking tip you've got a lot of saliva then I think I like the one hand

on the dick right now because with the other hand I think it's super hot if you're cupping his balls lightly and then okay ready you're taking your middle finger while you're cupping his balls and you're kind of putting it straight out so his balls are sitting in the palm of your hand and then your your middle finger is straight out and you're rubbing his taint area that is key everyone's like what what is it wait the taint area is between his fucking asshole and his balls okay that area feels so fucking good if you can lick your finger everybody like literally i don't even give a fuck take your finger up put it in your fucking mouth and go

down cup his balls middle finger goes all the way sliding through and you're lightly pressure point up and doing like little circular motions or even just like hard tapping up and down you stimulating that taint area while you're doing the slurpy fucking saliva thing on the top of his dick to me that is like the best fucking way to start a blow job you're giving yourself opportunity to get it super super super wet you're stimulating his taint obviously you can just cup and like kind of lightly massage the balls first, then slowly as you're getting more into it, go to the taint. And then my favorite thing to do is you go down, get the balls in your mouth, and then after the balls, you basically take your hand, girls, and don't be afraid to do this with

the fucking balls. This will not hurt his fucking balls. You push the balls up towards his dick and you shove your fucking head you shove your fucking head under and you lick and suck his taint area and then you come back up and you go right back into the blowjob okay men will love this i promise you you just have to be confident and if you go about it don't shove your head in there go nose diving and like bitch i'm gonna suck the living shit out of this like you would not want a guy to do that to your clit ease in but I promise you if you push his balls up lightly and you go under there a guy's gonna lose his shit also here's a little fucking pro tipperoonie

this is what I did the other day. If he's laying down while you're sucking his dick and you're like on your knees on the bed, sucking his dick, this is where I was. Okay. Everyone picture me, Alex there on the dick. He's laying down and I'm on my knees in like a doggy style position over his dick what I like to do sometimes is with his leg that's just like his legs are obviously on the bed so what you can do is you can position yourself to hover over his leg put one leg over one side of the leg and the other on the other and then you can ease yourself down and use his leg and start rubbing your clit up against his leg and his thigh that one for a man he's going to be like what the fuck this bitch is disgusting and

nasty this will obviously make you have to come kind of at the dick at an angle which I kind of like better if you can go at a dick at an angle I kind of think it's way fucking better than going just straight on. Because you have a better opportunity angle wise to rub his taint, better opportunity to look at his balls. So start rubbing your clit on his thigh. And then if you are fucking wet and you and your mouth cannot get fucking wet on his dick, Becky, listen to me. You take one of your hands that's not on his fucking dick. You reach down and you start fingering the fuck out of yourself and you get yourself wet and then you pull your wetness and you put it onto his fucking dick.

Okay. That is what we want to just work on a little bit here. Boom. All right. Quarantine fucking sucks. Hello, everyone. I was thinking about it because, listen, I'm not going to lie. Podcasting during Corona fucking sucks. Massive, ginormous asshole. I'm not going to lie.

I've talked to other podcasters and they're like, what are we supposed to talk about? We're literally just sitting in our fucking homes with our thumbs up our asshole. And it's not cute and it's not pretty for content. Hence why I'm doing these vagina monologues. I apologize. I promise. Call her daddy's not going to constantly be me like his dick was so deep inside me. Like I get it. Maybe you guys don't care as much about my dating life. But for right now, it's all I've got. It's literally all I've got. What the fuck should we talk about in Corona?

Well, as much as I'm like, guys, I don't have anything to talk about. Poor me. Welcome to call her daddy, motherfuckers. Of course I have a topic for your assholes. Right now, everybody think about your life. We are all desperate. You're like, speak for yourself, Alex. We are all desperate. We are all starving right now, okay? And I have something that I want to share with the daddy gang that I recently did to spice up the dating life. So get out your little notebooks, OK?

Blue's clues. Bring them out and write in your fucking. Honestly, I'm blacking out right now. I'm staring at a white wall. I don't know what I'm saying. I have a tip for you guys that I want you to do because I think it's pretty fucking genius. Mr. Sexy Zoo Man did this to me this past week.

He texted me at like three o'clock my time. And he was like, we're getting drinks at eight. Be ready. I'm like, I'm like, hey, are you in L.A.? I'm like, hey, sorry. Did I miss the part where you got on a fucking plane and like you're here? Like, what do you mean? You're across the fucking country.

And I am such a fucking idiot. I was like, did One Oak open? I'm missing something. And he's like, yeah, we're going to have drinks over FaceTime. It's a FaceTime date. Get ready. I'm going to be drinking tequila. He sends me and I'm like, oh, fuck.

OK, he's like, I'm sending you a bottle get ready the postmate fucking guy delivers a nice bottle of tequila and I get fucking ready for my date I put on a cute little top very slutty tits out for the fucking McGee's of the world ready to fucking flash a nipple any moment areola is right through. I didn't even wear a bra. I was ready at any moment for this FaceTime date to go south. And by south, I mean so sexual. And I was ready to pull my top down and show Mr. Sexy Zoo Man my goddamn nipples. I just got in a spray tan. I was ready to go. Okay. Are you guys still with me? So the point of me bringing this up is at eight o'clock on the dot

he facetimes me he literally has his phone like set up in his kitchen he's sitting sitting on one of his bar stools and he is pouring himself a goddamn glass of tequila and he's like cheers babe and i pour mine and we have a fucking facetime date now wow a, this is so profound. Have a FaceTime date during quarantine. I had no idea. I had no idea, Alex. Thanks so much, you stupid bitch. You're canceled. Guys, you really think, come on, give me a little bit more credit. Here's the thing. We are getting fucked up on these dates. Okay. We are call her daddy. We are classy. We are getting fucking hammered. You guys listen to me. I have done a lot of FaceTiming during quarantine. I have gone through a lot of men and FaceTime dates during quarantine. Not many are around, okay? Snooze fest, okay?

But by adding the element of the two of you, okay? This is not a fucking group hang. You're not like having your girlfriend in the fucking corner. Like this is, I am saying this is you and your person getting drunk together on FaceTime, okay? What I brought, since it was cute of him to initiate which men and women listening i think just setting a time and a date for this kind of thing is cute and i know it sounds basic as fuck but it does make the other person feel good like it was nice

to know that he was thinking ahead about his night and wanted to virtually spend it with me and it was like fucking cool and I got to like get ready and know the time whatever but naturally what I do is I have this complex where I like to date and I like to ensure that the guy that I am dating or the men that I am dating that they are like that fucking girl is the funnest girl that I have ever dated that is just something I need in my life okay so what I had us do is I got on to FaceTime and I was like babe we have I have so many things planned for us tonight like I'm so excited for date night. I basically planned a game for us. And that is what I want everyone to fucking do. Cause I swear to God,

it will turn sexual. Okay. You plan a game, my game. It was like a list of 20 questions for us to play. And it started basic. You start like, and obviously first,

like start the night you're drinking. You're like, what are you drinking? Oh my God, let's chug, break the ice. And you can joke. You're like, this is so awkward? Oh my God, let's chug, break the ice. And you can joke. You're like, this is so awkward.

Oh my God. Okay, let's get hammered. Then I had us playing a game of 20 questions and it starts basic, nothing sexual. And then I had a slowly guessing like each other's favorite position, asking about kinks like in between, like what's your fantasy, et cetera. And I made it so there was a rule that we had to drink if not answered correctly so you can do whatever the fuck you want come up with whatever game you want or like obviously cater it towards your relationship but slowly all of a

sudden by you bringing in this kind of game with alcohol with the person you're attracted to, who fucking knows? Maybe your FaceTime gets so disgusting. Maybe you get so fucked up on that tequila. And I don't know, maybe I'm speaking from personal experience. I don't know. But maybe you get so fucked up on the FaceTime date that normally a natural progression in real life, you go and fuck well you can kind of still do that on facetime all of a sudden the bitch that didn't wear the fucking bra takes her fucking top off and you start having fucking facetime sex you're fucking welcome mr sexy zoo man ended up seeing my fucking pussy that night because he initiated a date and I was ready to give it up hello I'm fine here's also because I'm not the only one with fucking ideas um I was

reading this daddy gang member wrote in he's this guy and he wrote in an idea um and I'm gonna obviously cater it towards quarantine because it's not but this is what he said I've got a daddy gang dating hack for y'all that's worked every time for me when you start talking to a girl or match with a girl on an app and you're just starting out texting you'll inevitably start bringing up stories because you don't know each other and you haven't heard each other's stories yet I I always joke around and say, add that story to the list. I'll tell you it when we go out. After a few days, I'll actually start a list on notes and make it shareable with her. That way, you have something easy to joke and talk about and keep saying, oh, add it to the list. But make sure it's something hilarious and gets them

thinking like this guy's a fucking savage now i have to know the story and i want to go out with him now then when you really go out for the first time you literally have an entire fucking list of funny shit to talk about stay savage daddy gang so i love this idea and at first i was like is this fucking corny and i was like no no no because first and foremost obviously we're going to cater it towards quarantine so like we're not going on you're all like okay Alex when are we going on a first fucking date no not the first date but what you can do is be like we're going to save it for our FaceTime date later right um I think the one advice I can give just in dating and also just like on FaceTime and stuff is like

when I go into first dates it applies the same as fucking FaceTime daddy gang I always have like a rack of questions and topics in my mind before I go on dates and I think that that can help you so fucking much if you have a couple stories that you're ready to tell the goal is to never let there be an awkward moment of silence or at least that's my fucking goal like I love a guy to feel so fucking comfortable with me and if you have I know it sounds corny but if you have like pre-planned conversations in your head and then there's an awkward moment you can be like wait you have I want to hear what you think about this like i have a story to tell you and i need you to like that kind of shit is literally all of a sudden they're gonna hang up on facetime be like wait why did i have the best conversations

with that person that's the way that i think like i get guys as i go in there and i'm like i want him to be like wait i feel like i've known this girl for fucking ever like that was just so fun so comfortable everyone can do that just fucking come up with a list so this guy's idea i think We I feel like I've known this girl for fucking ever. Like that was just so fun. So comfortable. Everyone can do that. Just fucking come up with a list. So this guy's idea, I think, is genius because it's like, OK, what should we fucking talk about? I want to hear your story.

You fucking wrote in here that you like you fucking took down a beluga. What a whale. You wrote a whale. OK, he wrote a whale, something fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck but if it's in your notes and you both are like okay you have to fucking tell me just come up with fun fucking shit everyone's boring right now if you're fun you win okay it's been so so so fucking long. Chalk, sit down.

Rufus, listen up. It's been so fucking long. I know Serena missed it. I know Alexandra fucking Cooper missed it. Because chalk. I gotta, I can't even. Guys, guys, listen to to me there's something so important happening everybody turn your volume all the way the fuck up because we're gonna take a little trip

to france and france there we go france there we go because we got a little thing a little Questions of the White Council. Bye-bye. Oh, my God. Oh, I just choked a little. Questions of the motherfucking White Council. Questions of the White Council. Guys, did you fucking miss it? I literally just died. I was going so fucking hard.

Questions of the motherfucking week. Bitches, we're fucking back. Silence suffers. Suck my fucking clit. Don't care. Don't care. Today, we're going in. I'm actually kind of pumped because I'm not going to lie.

I kind of feel like I've seen mad people DMing me being like, yo, we of the week and sometimes when people bitch about shit you gotta take it away you gotta fucking take it away so all of a sudden they appreciate it now i do know there are some people that are like no alex we're happy we're happy and we are fine with it never coming back but guess what i don't give a fuck questions of the week will always remain okay Okay, let's get fucking into it. Daddy gang. I miss you. Let's read your fucking questions. This is from a daddy gang member. She said during quarantine, I met a guy on hinge. We hit it off and FaceTimed every day, multiple times a day. And before I knew it, sexual tension became so strong since we weren't seeing each other yet that we decided to play around with phone sex see brilliant you're welcome things are going swell until i sexually say i can't wait to be inside of you no i wasn't planning on pegging

him and no i do not have a dick i totally ruined the moment because we both burst out laughing thankfully we laughed it off it was definitely a mood killer. How do I avoid saying stupid shit when I'm feeling myself and about to come? This is such a good fucking topic that I want to quickly address because I was doing this the other day, not telling a man that I wanted to be inside of him, but to avoid things like this happening. Obviously, you're gonna have slip ups. but one of my pro tips would be I the other day did this I was masturbating thinking about Mr. Sexy Zoom Guy and I think that dirty talking out loud to yourself when you are masturbating is really fucking hot that way you are basically like practicing verbally saying shit that you would say to him and you're normalizing it coming out of your mouth because how often on a day-to-day basis we're talking

about we can talk for hours but all of a sudden when you're like and I want you to cream pie my pussy and I want to eat your fucking cum out of her pussy that that one not as common and so it doesn't really roll off the tongue if you know what I mean so if when you masturbate why don't you dirty talk like you're dirty talking to him and then next time when you fuck him or when you do fuck him or you're having FaceTime sex all of a sudden you've already said those words so fucking often because you're masturbating 16 times a fucking day and then it will be way easier hello father is it weird that after two years of me and my ex being broken up we follow each other on social media i'm living my best single life and he's in and has been in relationships during this time

i want to unfollow but i don't know if that shows I still care because I don't. Okay, everyone, I think anyone that is listening right now, if you want to unfollow someone, but you are worried about what the optics will look like, fuck the optics. Oh, big word. Oh, big girl, big word. Oh, guys, who the fuck cares? I think it's so fucking weird when people want to unfollow people, but they're like, but maybe like it will hurt their feelings. No, who fucking cares? It's so strange to me that people get butt hurt when people unfollow people. There are so many fucking people from college that no shade, great people. Love

you. Hope you're doing fucking great Betty. But personally for me, her Instagram, I'm like, you're boring. I don't want to follow you anymore. And I don't want to see your fucking weird boyfriend and you guys posting about your fucking cooking tutorials. Don't fucking care. I want to see clits and t and tit like my personal preference is following hot girls and dog accounts like that's just what i'm into i think that anyone that is super super scared to unfollow people you need to like reevaluate your entire life who fucking cares it's social media unfollow them and if they ask you like hey did i do something wrong like you unfollowed me be like hey no sorry i was just like clearing out my feed and like i was just trying to like follow less accounts because like

i feel like my feed is super cluttered no hard feelings boom and then if you are a person listening to this and you have sat in a fucking room and been like i just i can't believe she unfollowed me like it's so fucked up no no she pressed unfollow life Life goes on. We have bigger fucking things to handle. Obviously, if it's like your boyfriend, then this is a different conversation. You're like, hey, so Alex, like my boyfriend stopped following me on Instagram. I'm going to go ahead and say things to be concerned about for sure. Also, another question. How do you even know I unfollowed you? I swear to God, if you're one of those

bitches that has the app and it shows you who's unfollowed you, knock it the fuck off. Okay. You delete that from your fucking phone and we move forward with life. Ooh, this is a good one. Hi, daddy. I'm not sure if you will read this, but I thought I'd shoot my shot. When should a girl see her first gyno? I'm 19 and I've never seen a gynecologist my family doctor doesn't even check my v and i've explained many times that i've had horrible extremely painful skip college classes from it periods and i experienced discomfort during sex my mom refuses to acknowledge this and says i don't need to see one i know you generally talk about topics regarding sex hookups and i love it but i also know you talk about female health as

well thank you for everything you do love the podcast okay daddy i love you you need to go to the fucking gynecologist if you are having sex you need to be going to a gynecologist that's just that i don't i maybe your mom's in denial. Cause she's like, there's just no way that my 19 year old daughter is getting fucked. Well, you know what? Maybe you have to fucking sit your mom down and be like, mom, listen, it's either you bring me or I get fucking pregnant. You whore. Um, no, but, but actually you need to go to the gynecologist. Um, you need to go because that'snecologist um you need to go because that shit's really fucking important to double check that everything's good also how would you know

if you have an std you know what i mean um and if you are having pain during sex it's really important to get that shit checked out so yeah i would just be like hey mom you need to like stop living in the olden days i'm getting fucked and I'm getting fucked good but it actually fucking hurts so I'm either dying or what's up bitch oh we have a little story time from a daddy about an only fans okay daddy father hello I asked my boyfriend if he used only fans because it's popular he said he didn't I found girls wish lists on our Amazon and he'd been sending them gifts. He claimed it was his friends sending the stuff. That's what they all say. But I just feel like it wasn't. It wasn't. Why would they use his? I can't even read this straight. Why would they use his account for that

anyway and the stuff was archived he put his name on one of the gift messages and it was sent to like their private wishlist address but when i asked him about it he said it was his friend's girlfriend and it was an inside joke they had but i found the girl's wishlist on only fans when i found her account i was on his computer and he had had a Gmail open on one screen and in the search bar, his recent history was OnlyFans. So he'd clearly gone and deleted the emails. There was about 80 emails. Oh my God. Fucking Bruno's in and around that OnlyFans asshole.

Some saying he'd received messages too. And he was paying around $70 per month to these accounts. I confronted him about it and all he said, all he could say was he made the account last year and he wanted to see what all the hype was about and it was better than porn. Hold on, wait, I thought it was his friends. I'm so confused. This is so cute. I consider it cheating. Some of the girls were in his area too one he even used to work with it's the fact that he's caring and connecting enough about the content to subscribe and pay a substantial amount of money so now i feel like a fucking idiot for sending him nudes when he's paying other girls for theirs i told him to delete the account but i can't stop thinking about it and

if he's thinking about them when we're having sex i haven't told anyone about it because i'm too embarrassed god hello sweetheart i'm very sorry number one and i'm not trying to be an asshole but the turns the story takes is just too good where it's like first he says that his it's his friend but then he said he just got an only fans account because he just wanted to see what the hype was about it's like so what is it you fucking loser um girlfriend i think this is shady my first gut reaction is that one the fact that he's lying and saying it's about his friends whenever they fucking say that i listen i do it all the time with my girlfriends i'm like babe it was lauren like i didn't do that you blame it on your other friends that you put them as a scapegoat it's kind of fucking pathetic to me though i think

that the worst part is that he's lying um and blaming his friends and then his story changes that's just weak shit to me like if you had owned up about it and been more of a man i think maybe that would you would have room for a conversation to kind of talk about like, Hey, like, is it fair that you have an only fans and weren't a relationship? But I personally almost would fucking leave his ass just for the amount of lies. Like he's going to such extreme extent to lie to you and be like, no baby, it's, it's my friends. And then all of a sudden he's like, no, but baby, I started it, but I just wanted to see what the hype was about. And it's like, wait, which one fucking is it? Okay. Which one is it? Oh, it's neither. If someone is lying about this kind of shit to you in a relationship,

what the fuck else is this loser fucking peewee Herman lying about? Hi father. You always talk about being okay with being single, but how exactly do you do that i'm getting over a breakup of 2.5 year relationship and it's been an adjustment to accept my loneliness thank you for all your education to the daddy game thank you daddy listen loneliness is a mindset if you are lonely when you're single then you're not ready to be in a relationship and i kind of thought that was we did kind of touch on it actually in the Miley Cyrus episode like if you are lonely and therefore you're just craving a relationship to make yourself not lonely then that relationship is gonna be a fat fucking piece of shit not that I'm saying I'm fucking dating this man, but to give you guys an example, like right before I met Mr. Sexy Zoom Man, I, and I think I kind of like was mentioning it throughout

my episodes when I look back, like I was saying to you guys, like I am so fucking happy in my single life right now. Trust me, I've gone through relationships and breakups where I'm like so fucking miserable and I miss the comfort of having a boyfriend and I miss them like being there with me and having a texting buddy and someone that like I know genuinely cares about me but if I'd run back into a relationship right after a breakup and I was fucking lonely that's just a recipe for disaster the best fucking time to get into a relationship is like me right now you're like don't you fucking dare say it don't worry i'm not but i'm just saying like i'm so happy being single and i wasn't looking for a mr sexy zoom guy and then when he came into my life i genuinely believe me radiating like how

good i am on my own that affects the way the other person looks at you like he's like oh this bitch has her own shit she's so fucking confident and she also is like gonna be fine if this doesn't work out I think that's really attractive and I do think that's attractive when I'm dating a guy like if I see him and he's got his own shit and he's like super confident himself and he's not needy to me. That's where you have like the base of the beginning of a really good, strong relationship. So I would hold on to that. If you're saying you're lonely as fuck after your breakup, well, you got to work on your fucking self because honestly, it's so fucking fun when you're not, when you're by yourself,

there should, it should not be lonely. It should be, I am the best fucking time in the game. And honestly, if you are going to hang out with me and you're going to add to my time, you got to be bringing some really big fucking great conversations and great fucking time because me by myself, best time in the world. So what do you add to the fucking table? Cause my life feels fucking great without you. So if you're going to come in here, what do you bring? Okay. Alex, I have been dating my boyfriend for around eight months now. Congrats. And last night he told me he didn't want to kiss or do anything sexual for two weeks. What the fuck? He said that it wasn't personal and it was a challenge that he had set. I can't that he had set himself, but I can't help but get a little annoyed because I feel

like he's trying to test me and playing games with me. Alex, what should I do? Should I try and make him crack? Let him have a little challenge or should I let my petty side come out and try to withhold sex from him for three weeks please help lots of love from australia okay i i'm sorry i don't know if anyone else listening to this your mind goes there but to me i'm like does he have an std i'm not fucking with you i'm like wait why is he trying to hold out for two weeks does he low-key have chlamydia and he's taking the pill and he wants

to make sure he doesn't give you a fucking std that's where my mind goes classic obviously it's a little unhealthy i would look into that i don't know i don't really know that seems a little stranger danger for me i'm not loving that he's like babe two weeks it's gonna be the ultimate challenge why i'm sorry what man is like let's go baby unless he was like a sex addict that's a conversation but it seems like you're eight months into this relationship smooth sailing and then all of a sudden he's like babe two weeks off off the grid we can't fuck it's like so why i would maybe press him a little bit more about this challenge and like where it stemmed from and how it was created and like why he's doing that and also what pussy he was inside of last week. Do you know what I'm saying?

Okay, great. Let me know. Please follow up. I'm very interested. This question has been haunting me for months. Oh, my God. Okay. Hello. Hello.

You have said that the best place to give the gluck luck is when the guy is up against a wall. Facts. How do you get him there without it being awkward and inorganic this is a great fucking question um as simple as it is i get what you're saying like it is kind of like wait what usually what i do is i'm usually going into this with the mindset that like we're not even gonna fuck like i'm gonna give this guy a blowjob to fruition if I'm gonna do the wall thing so what I usually do is I will get on top of him whether you're on the couch or whether you're on the bed you get on top of him and you start making out with him

then I'll start rubbing on his dick over his pants um and just start to set the mood and he's like oh fuck what the fuck is going on so you're kind of in control you're on top you're the one initiating you're grabbing his dick and then you grab his face in the middle of making out with him and you pull away and you look at him in the eyes and you say come here get up and then literally just get up off the bed or get up off the couch and grab him if you were just rubbing his dick he's not gonna be like what are where are we going i don't feel comfortable no he's gonna like okay just get up and pull him and like literally take his hand and then bring him to the wall and push him up against the wall my one bit of advice would be maybe scout out the walls around you first because

I've done it to a guy where I fucked up and it was like in the heat of the moment and I pressed him up against a wall that the doorway and the wall were super small and so his back was like in the fucking door slash wall and he was like in pain and I was like okay that was a fucking waste of a blowjob because your bitch ass is just focused on how your back hurts after hey Alex not a super sexual question but in regards to the Miley podcast how she was talking about being comfortable with yourself and how you don't always have to be sexual to be comfortable with yourself and so on well my roommates are those types of girls who are extremely judgy and uptight but will act like your friend but then talk shit behind your back I try to be their friend and I'm the nicest person I could be but how do I get myself to feel comfortable with myself if I'm constantly feel like I'm being judged and belittled I know it's as easy as just don't think about it or don't care but I feel

like that's not as easy to do I'm so happy you wrote this in and I don't know if you guys would be interested in me doing an episode about like girls and like how to deal with fucking mean girls because like I actually think I made a tiktok the other day and I was like it's so fascinating to me that there are so many and it's such a prevalent thing there are so many girls in the world that shit on their friends when they're talking about masturbating or sex or whatever and they make you feel uncomfortable and to those girls I say those are the girls that are so insecure and those are the girls that literally bite dicks when they give head and they would rather not talk about their sexuality and not be open about shit because they are like closeted

right now and they don't even know what their fucking pussy looks like. Like if you were like, girls, let's look at our pussies like in the mirror. Like, let's look. They would be like, you are so disturbing. What the fuck is wrong with you? And it's like, wait, bitch, that's your pussy. That's your best friend. Like, let's look at it and all masturbate

in a goddamn line together any girl that is feeling like you have friends that are super judgy i know it sucks and it takes time and it isn't easy but straight up you just need to find better friends you want to surround yourself with people that support how you're feeling sexually and you don't want to suppress that just because you're afraid of what your friends will think it becomes also just so draining trying to downplay what you enjoy um for others and you shouldn't have to do that i had a lot of friends in college that would judge girls in a locker room for openly talking about their sexuality masturbating sex etc and those are just the kind of bitches that you just don't want to fuck with. Because if they're judgy and they're judging you on that kind of shit,

they clearly have some deep-seated issues going on and that's not your problem to solve. Obviously, I would say you could like, oh, break the ice and be like encouraging them to listen to Call Her Daddy. But let's all be fucking real. We know there are girls that are like, Call Her Daddy is just like literally for whores and i'm so much better that and like guys don't even like that stuff and it's like no you know what they also don't like francine you fucking grinding your braces on his dick and leaving fucking skid marks on his bed sheets

because you don't know how to take a finger up your asshole. All right. Okay. Daddy gang. Hello. It is your father. This is sad. It's a sad happy moment. Happy because like we had fun today. Sad because I'm not going to talk to you guys for two weeks. But I also promise you that I will be out in the field with a mask on.

And I will just be putting my fucking pussy on the line for you guys. Okay. Giving you guys okay giving you guys the content you deserve obviously for the rest of summer guys enjoy yourselves I know I don't know the world is fucking depressing right now like sometimes I feel like I put these episodes out and I'm like is anyone listening like are people like just fucking miserable I love you guys I hope obviously everyone knows okay I feel like quarantine is still going but it's also like you're we're all supposed to be mentally fine right now and I kind of feel like there's a lot of people probably struggling because I know I've struggled so just know that I'm here for you just not for the next two weeks um I'm gonna take off for my birthday my birthday is this Friday actually

August 21st go follow me on Instagram it's alexandra cooper go follow call her daddy on instagram and also because i love you guys so much and it doesn't feel right to not release two episodes in a row um here's the deal next week in place of an episode i'm going to be releasing the apartment tour vlog that i promised you guys that will be coming out I'll probably drop that on Wednesday just so you guys have something to watch and then the next week I also will have another vlog coming out when there's no episode so I hope that kind of like balances it out I can't say I'll see you fuckers next Wednesday you can see my apartment next Wednesday on YouTube I will see you guys in two weeks have yourself yourself a beer. Have yourself a tequila.

Have yourself some type of alcohol. Get fucked up on FaceTime and go fuck your fucking brains out. And literally, I want you guys to crack your fucking camera screen. There was so much squirting and fucking come on there. Okay, love you guys so much. I miss you already. Dearly beloved daddy gang, your father is out.