Call Her Daddy - A Christmas Gift to My Ex Boyfriends

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

Gather ‘round, Daddy Gang for the last solo of the season and join Father Cooper for a very festive holiday episode! Alex reminisces on her favorite Christmas traditions and how special it is to share them with Matt for the first time this year. She talks about the pressure to find the perfect present for your partner and gives some fatherly advice about how to make sure you’re both on the same page. She shares some hard lessons she’s learned along the way and tells the story of when she almost completely ruined Christmas for Matt with a gift catastrophe. Alex also tells the story of how she used to manipulate athletes with a certain foolproof, go-to gift and talks about how she knew her relationship with Matt was special when she got him something different. Enjoy and happy holidays, Daddy Gang!!

What is up daddy gang? It is your founding father Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! It's the most wonderful time of the year. There'll be kids jingle belling and hearts will be swirling. We loved ones are cheer. Oh, oh, oh! Daddy gang! Merry Christmas. I bet you thought it was Santa himself.

Hold on, I can't breathe. Hey, daddy gang, come cozy up. Sit by the fire. Pour yourself some hot cocoa. Santa's here. Santa! I know him! Listen, everyone can think back and remember that truly, truly horrible, traumatic, life-altering moment when we all found out that Santa wasn't fucking real. I pray to God no daddy gang members like Santa's not real. Yes, bitch. I'm Santa. Okay. Let me tell you about the time that I figured out Santa wasn't real. It all started with my fucking bitch of a sister. Just kidding. Love you. My sister is older than me, four years older. And I remember I'm sitting on the school

bus coming home. It was the last day before Christmas break. And I am just young thugging and getting it. And I am just like, Oh my God, Santa is going to pop off this year. I'm so on the nice list. I'm such not a naughty little bitch. Like I've done everything right. I wrote my list. The North pole has it. God is good. Santa is going to come through. And I'm talking about this to my friend on the school bus. And my sister turns around in her big scene. She turns around and she's like, by the way, Alex, Santa's not real. You realize it's dad, right? Sorry, what?

Sorry, no, Catherine. I had no fucking idea that Santa wasn't real. You guys, in that moment, the hatred that I had for not just her, but for every single person that eventually ruins the concept of Santa being Santa, it really made me upset and depressed. If you're watching this in video, you'll know that I look like an insane person. I'm in a Santa costume. If you're not watching this in video and you're driving to work or you're at work, just know I'm dressed as Santa. Okay. This is officially the last episode of Call Her Daddy before we come back for the new year. So I'm going to go and you guys are

all going to have fun. You're going to celebrate Christmas. You're going to celebrate Hanukkah. You're going to be with friends. You're going to be with family. Maybe you're alone, whatever you are choosing to do. We are going to kick off the holiday season together right here, right now. Obviously, I know Santa doesn't fucking exist now. Thank you, Catherine. But what I will say is I'm essentially over here kind of having a rebirth because I am marrying. Oh, my God. I am marrying a Jewish man. I love my Jewish boy. Okay. It has been so fun to see Matt experience Christmas for the, basically the first time in Christmas traditions for the first time. And you best believe that I am force feeding him, forcing him to experience all of this. Spending all night driving around different neighborhoods to scout out the best Christmas

lights this year. Check. I've made him do it. Making those little sugar cookies with the colored frosting that no one ever eats and they're actually kind of disgusting. Check. Absolutely. We're doing it.

Putting reindeer food out in the front yard while obsessively following santa's movement on the santa tracker and putting out cookies for santa even though matt is santa this year yeah you bet your ass we're doing it i also love that this santa that i'm living with is just a wee bit different than the santa that i grew up with love you dad but this santa in my life now he loves diamonds he loves jewelry he loves expensive shit I don't know if anyone else can relate to this but I have such vivid memories of stalking the shit out of that like Santa tracker growing up there was like a website I guess I don't know if it was just a Pennsylvania thing but we would look up where Santa was and his movements would

be like he's in Asia he's in Asia. He's in South America. He's hit the U S oh my God, he's coming down the chimney. And it would be, let me tell you guys about my Christmas tradition. So on Christmas Eve, I would be in church. We went to church every Christmas Eve. My mom would make my sister and I were matching like hideous plaid, red and black jumpers with like tights on and little ballet flats and my sister and I would go matching and my brother had like his little suit on and my whole family would go to church and all of a sudden the priest would announce that per the tracker Santa had officially crossed into the Pennsylvania border and I being the biggest Christmas enthusiast of all time would then be on the

verge of a mental fucking breakdown I was so convinced at this age that if we didn't haul ass home and immediately tuck ourselves into bed that Santa would skip over our house and we would miss Christmas forever and I took that shit seriously I was so fucking annoying I'd be like pulling on my mom's dress like mom I don't care about Jesus right now. We gotta get home for Santa. My mom's like, yeah, you'll fucking listen to the gospel and shut the fuck up. That's not really how it went down,

but on Call Her Daddy, it sounds better that way. I'm like, mom, I love Jesus and I love God. Is it time for Santa yet? I don't wanna miss my presents. And my mom would be like, he won't miss us, sweetie. He's coming, okay? And one of the best parts that I realize now, like I love creating those traditions with my family, but now I'm realizing I have my own version of my own family now, right? Like I have my family that I grew up with. And now Matt

and I are creating our own memories. And my favorite part right now of being engaged to essentially a Christmas virgin is that we're getting to watch all of the iconic Christmas movies for the first time together. Because lucky for me, Daddy Gang, Matt hasn't seen any fucking Christmas movie besides Elf. Well, Farrell, you're an icon, you're a legend, and I love you, and that movie is perfect. But even people that, like, don't celebrate Christmas have seen that movie, okay? I'm talking OG. Okay, Daddy Gang, this man has never seen the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. I'm sorry.

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you've fucking seen that. And if you haven't seen that movie, immediately, immediately please click out of this episode and go watch well maybe wait till the episode is finished but you know what I take that back Santa Claus is more important than this episode go watch Tim Allen be the Santa Claus so the fact that I'm getting to pop Matt's Christmas cherry on so many fun traditions is just giving me life like I'm really in the Christmas spirit I was cracking the fuck up the other day I'm watching Matt attempt to string Christmas lights on our tree he's never put lights on a tree he's never had a fucking Christmas tree okay daddy gang this man was struggling and it's also kind of the cutest

thing because his family is Jewish and his entire family, like they scheduled to visit, to come over to see our tree because they've never had a tree. And they're like, oh my God, this is so fun. Like you guys are going to have, you're the only house that has a tree right now because Matt has other siblings. They're all Jewish. They married Jewish. I'm the outlier and I'm bringing the tree. But Matt isn't the only one experiencing new traditions this holiday season. Even though he's going to be out of town by the time, it's like, I think the last night of Hanukkah is on, his family is celebrating on the 18th. And I'm going to go over to his family's house to celebrate Hanukkah with them, even though

he's not going to be there. Something I realized is it's such a fabulous feeling when you get to the point of your relationship where you can hang out with your partner's family without them being there and you're not self-conscious or nervous about trying to impress them. It's like, I feel like I've essentially gained a second family.

I'm officially a Christmaka bitch do you guys ever watch the OC my favorite show in the world the OC um Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood were Ryan celebrated Christmas and Seth celebrated Hanukkah and so they coined it Christmaka well I am a Christmaka household and I'm a proud Christmaka household okay we've got our fucking menorah and we've got our tree. Merry fucking Chris Mika. Anyways, daddy gang, what else is this currently the season of? The season of gift giving.

So if you're listening to this, hopefully you found the perfect gift for that special someone by now. And if you haven't, well, sounds like you're fucked, but I'm not. Okay. This year, Matt and I agreed that we're not going to be doing gifts this year. So I'm thankfully off the hook. We're just going to be spending the holidays traveling.

So we said that our gift to each other is like the flights and the hotels and all of that the problem is is I'm married to a sneaky little bitch okay we have done this before where we have looked each other in the eyes and we have said we're gonna travel babe no gifts this year and what does Matt do he has the audacity come December 25th to hand me a gift and then I'm the fucking asshole that didn't get Matt a gift because we agree we weren't doing fucking gifts Matt I love you so much but you make me look so bad every single year but this year I was sitting and thinking about it because he's been gone and I'm like okay like do I get him a gift do I not get him a gift because I know he's gonna get me a gift even though we said we're not gonna get each other gifts but do I like what

do I do I'm holding my ground okay I know that motherfucker is gonna pull out the same exact move I love how I'm like pretending like I'm oh it's so annoying love it it's gonna be like some cute little jewelry or something but we said we're not getting gifts and Matt's the hardest person to get a gift for okay so I'm going to do an immaculate job internally within myself to set some boundaries and I'm not going to let myself feel that guilt that I have felt in the past when I'm empty handed and this man gives me a diamond necklace. We had a deal and you broke it, Matt, and that's on you. I love how I'm trying to convince myself that I'm not going to feel guilty.

I know I'm going to feel like a fucking piece of shit. But objectively, and I don't know if any other woman watching this feels this way, guys are so fucking hard to get gifts for. Girls are so easy. Get us any type of jewelry. Get us a fucking spa thing. Get us a gift card to Sephora. Get us some clothes.

Like, it's pretty simple. What does a man need? Another pair of khakis? No. You don't need them, actually. Throw them the fuck out, okay? I don't know what to get Matt ever. I need to show, share you guys.

I'm thinking about this and it's bringing back, I'm kind of getting triggered. So I don't know if I've ever told this story. I think I had the absolute worst guilt that I have probably ever felt was a couple years ago during this Christmas time. And I was spending it with Matt and it was a disaster. So Matt and I were spending Christmas in London and this was kind of at the beginning of our relationship, but we definitely were at a place where it was official like we were both not saying it but we knew like we are definitely boyfriend and girlfriend now that I think back like I don't think Matt and I ever were like do you want to be my girlfriend

do you want to be my boyfriend it was just kind of like oh we're not talking to anyone else like this is a real thing so we're in London together and Matt and I go to the countryside of London. And I felt like I was in the holiday movie. Like it couldn't have been more romantic. We go to two different places. This is also the time that the Reddit people tried to call the cops on me. That was a whole other story. Oh my God.

Fast forward, we're in London and we're trying to have a great time. I don't get arrested, which is perfect. And we're having the most incredible time. Like I'm not a convict. I'm thriving. We're literally, honestly, it made our trip that much better. Like we're like, oh, we like we're thriving. And so Matt and I are sitting and we have this little cottage and there's like horses outside that are just roaming free.

Like we're just literally in the countryside and it's beautiful and it's Christmas. And Matt pulls out the most beautiful diamond necklace. And I'm like, thank you so much. Like, this is so, so gorgeous. And thank you. And that was it. And I did not give him a gift. And I just smiled through the pain.

And in my brain, I had a gift on the way. I had a gift that I had been working on and putting so much effort into but it wasn't done but I didn't tell him this so he's just like okay like what the fuck and I now look back and I'm like this poor man was like are are you like is she gonna give me a gift and so I didn't give him a gift fast forward we get back to Los Angeles like a couple days later and he's just acting kind of weird like he's just been in kind of a weird mood and I finally go up to him and I'm like Matt like what is wrong with you and oh my god it makes me like sad to this day he gets tears in his eyes and Matt looks at me and he was like are you in this

and I was like what and he's like are you in this as much as I'm in this because I'm not fucking around like I'm so in love with you and I want to spend what I think is the rest of my life with you and like and I'm like of course like we've talked about like what Matt and he goes Alex you didn't even get me a card for Christmas and I'm like oh my fucking god I am the devil walking on earth I am the biggest piece of shit but let me just clear my name I was working on a gift and I had such anxiety about giving him this perfect gift that I didn't want to say like your gift is coming like I just I don't know why I didn't want to say like, your gift is coming. Like I just, I don't know why I didn't want to tell him that, but whatever. So he thought I literally wasn't even thinking about him. I didn't get him anything. So I'm going to finish this story

because it all comes full circle and I don't look as big of an asshole, but I almost cried in that moment. I felt like such a big piece of shit. So daddy gang, we always like to tie things into lessons here. What can we learn from my mistakes and from the story is that it is hurtful when you don't get your significant other a gift and then you never even address it. Like I could have at least, like I said, said like it's coming. Don't worry. It's in the process. It's taking super long. At least he would have known something's coming. So I would say if you're feeling overwhelmed going into the holidays about gift giving you should just talk to your partner is my advice there is nothing worse than feeling like you're completely missing

the mark with your gift because you don't know what to expect from your partner we have all been there you're building up whatever they got us in our head we're like oh my god they must be something like this and then you're out there buying something completely insane, trying to compete with it. When in reality, if you just talked about it, you may find that you're also both struggling, or even if they're not like they'll make you feel better. So if your gift is taking longer than expected, say something. If you're feeling a little insecure that you don't have much in the budget this year for gifts, maybe you're like, fuck, that you don't have much in the budget this year for gifts, maybe you're like, fuck, I literally can't spend money on this. Say something. If

you're struggling to think of a gift that they'll actually use or they'll like, say something. Because when you don't say anything and take it from me, daddy gang, it just comes across like you do not give a fuck about this person. And I know it's easy to be like, that's so fucking shallow. It's just a gift. But no, it hurts when you put a lot of thought and care into something for someone and it's not reciprocated. So if you are still lost, the route that I always suggest taking when it comes to gift giving is the sentimental route. Okay.

You guys remember I told you I would pull the story full circle. Uh-huh. Okay. You remember that earlier? I said that. Okay. I ended up being five months late for his Christmas gift, but let me show you why. Okay.

What was it? It was, wait, let me think about this Christmas. So December, January, February, March, April, I was four months late. I gave this Christmas gift to him on his birthday in April. And then I didn't give him a birthday gift till like August. Let me show you what I got Matt. And this is what was taking so long. Okay. Okay. This is a fucking masterpiece. I was working on a book for Matt that I was spending so so so much time with and I think that you guys could maybe steal a few things for me to use for your next gift if you want to get something really sentimental for your partner and I also just

recognize that there's five days until Christmas by the time this comes out. So you know what? Maybe yours will be a few months late, but then do what I didn't do and tell them I'm working on some amazing thing. It's coming. Let me show you guys this book. Okay, so Matt has everything.

Matt, I feel like is like the guy that he's, I would never pick out clothes for him. I would never pick a watch out for it. Like he's just, he has his own style that I he's better tasting me. So I'm like, I can't pick something out. So the book at this point, we were dating for eight months and the book has the date of the first day that we met seven 27, 2020. and then it goes till 4-14-2021 it was gonna be obviously Christmas but we changed it to his birthday okay anyways it says volume one because I'm gonna make so many more of these books and when I say that I'm like in 20 years we'll get volume two because clearly this

takes me so fucking long to make and on the back it says I love you more than life itself okay so it reads to Matthew the past eight months have been magical this book is the first of many to chronicle our passionate life together love Alex I feel like I'm literally doing a storybook oh my god don't they do this in the mall where like Santa's reading the kids a book? I'm Santa. This is like a little bit raunchier book, kids. Close your eyes. Okay, so it starts with the beginning and it's our love story.

And I basically write how we met together and it takes up a couple of pages, okay? Then you open the book and it is our Zoom meeting. And I took a screenshot of the date that our Zoom meeting was scheduled for July 16th. I screenshot it and it says Alex Cooper with Matt Kaplan on my Gmail calendar. And it says, hi, Alex. Matt Kaplan is running a little behind schedule today and asking to push this back 15 minutes, blah, blah, blah. Do you guys remember when I told you the story

that Matt was late to our meeting? And so I had time to Google him and then I realized he was hot. So I quickly put on makeup and push my tits up. That is because he was 15 minutes late. So I still have the email. And what I did is I took all these pictures and then I would write like July 16th, 2020 at 5 p.m. We were set for our first Zoom call. A meeting to discuss a Call Her Daddy TV show. You were running late. Pushed the meeting back 15 minutes. I was bored so naturally I googled you. Saw you were hot. Ran and changed into a tight shirt and then was officially ready for our date. I mean meeting. After this meeting the next page is the email. So Matt follows up

with an email after our Zoom meeting with all of his employees on it. And he goes, we making this TV show, you coming out to LA or what? And I said, I'm coming. So sexual. I said, are you even going to be there or are you going to be out of town? And he goes, can you come on blah, blah, blah? I'll take you to a delish dinner. I said, a delish dinner, dot, dot, dot, seems like a perfectly good reason to change a flight. He said, my cell is blah, blah, blah, XO. I said, July 20th, you emailed me and asked me to get dinner. I remember not even hesitating to change my flight to make it happen.

Little did we know, you also weren't going to have to leave the next for your movie. And we were going to be in LA much longer than expected. So then you guys, it's literally beat by beat of our relationship. This is what I wore on our first date. And this is the text message of the day that he took me on the date. I said, Matt Kaplan, it's Alex Cooper. Assuming you're not canceling on me. Let me know what our plan is tonight. He goes, what up lady? Still good for tomorrow. Where are you staying? Sushi? I said, the Ondas in West Hollywood. Sushi sounds wonderful.

He said, perfect. And so then the after dinner text after we made out in his car and made out at sushi, he just texts me at 128 a.m. That was perfect. I said, thank you. Such a good night. I better see you Wednesday and he put two hearts and I put a kissy face and we were like obsessed with each other and then the book

essentially goes through this was our first trip together and so I write all of these long things of like I put all of our pictures but then again it's like April 8th at 9 47 secretly and very creepily took these photos of you to send to my mother who was asking if you were cute. I said, he's cute in person. This morning, we went to get a mani and pedi together, sat in the back of the nail salon outside, listened to Michelle Obama's first podcast episode.

What? And picked out bathing suits for the Hamptons trip together, obsessed. All of this goes through, this was our first Hamptons trip together. I don't know if you guys remember that, and I'm writing all this stuff. This was my birthday dinner that he took me out to got so blackout. Love that for me. Oh my God. This was the funniest 4th of July

party. So I go through and I take all of our pictures from our relationship and I put the date and the exact time. And I went through every single basically era of our relationship for the eight months that we did. And it's all of these pictures together and I'm hoping there's no nudes in here and then it basically ends and set oh my god do I want to read this and then the last page is happy birthday even though it's supposed to be Christmas I had to edit that on the website I was like um delete delete delete merry Christmas. Happy birthday, babe. Like, fuck my life. Again, four months late, but worth it. I said, happy birthday, Matthew. You are the most kind, thoughtful, generous, loving, talented, handsome man I've

ever met. You care so deeply for the people you love and make me want to be a better person every single day. I love the way we push each other to be our best, support each other through the fun successes, but more importantly, the hard times. You're my best friend. Meeting you this year was without a doubt the biggest blessing that's ever come into my life. You've changed my life for the better in so many ways. I can't thank you enough for all that you do for me.

I promise to always protect your heart and this relationship. You mean everything to me. Together, I know we can accomplish anything. Go through hell and back together. Whatever it is we face, as long as we're together, we will be okay. Our relationship is enviable. We make it look easy because with you, it is.

Today, we're celebrating you, you beautiful human. Thank God Lisa pushed you out. That's his mother. I love you with all my heart, Matt. Love, Alex. And so this whole book was worth four months okay so to everyone that started listening to my story thinking oh she's a cunt I get it and that that is what I would think too but I redeemed myself and this book now I'm like fuck I should start making the

next book because if anything this is motivating me even if it's not for Christmas I'm like fuck I should start making the next book because if anything this is motivating me even if it's not for Christmas I'm gonna put no time on it I mean like babe you'll get one in the next five years and hopefully I push one out literally I just realized actually like the moral of the story is like I gotta do less like I am so fucking good at giving gifts I gotta do less less and by less I mean every five years Matt a gift. And every year I get a gift from Matt. Like he keeps giving me the jewelry. I'm like, ooh, you just wait for that five year, baby. Another book comes.

You know what's so funny also is back in my athlete era, so all of my exes were convinced that I was the best gift giver in the entire world, which I know is the complete opposite of what I just described. And yes, I actually was, even though it was completely based in manipulation, but you know, who cares? Listen to what genius gift I would give them. So back in the day, my mom introduced me to this woman that she knew through work and she was this incredible artist. And when I started dating Red Sox player man, um, I remember just being like, this man is making so much money. He has everything he would need. How do I make myself memorable? And I kind of knew that like our relationship was on the rocks. So I would never like, I feel like I'm always the person

that would be like, never get a man a gift if he doesn't like you but I knew that this could possibly end in a couple months and I wanted to get him a gift that would be so beautifully manipulative that he could never forget me you know what I mean guys let's just regress a little bit right here just because I just read you the most like gorgeous loving book like oh Alex you're so healthy back to theipulate the fuck out of a man so he never forgets you. So Red Sox man, as you guys know, was 13 years older than me. Was making $16 million a year. And I didn't have a dollar to my name at the time in college.

And so I'm like, how can I come up with something that no woman will ever have gotten him? And I come up with this genius idea. So he plays baseball and I was like okay what if I get one of his teammates to get me one of his bats and I am going to essentially write down a list of all of our inside jokes our nicknames for each other the places we've been together the food that we like to eat like everything that is our life together and I'm gonna have this artist basically like graffiti ink the entire baseball bat with all of our inside jokes and everything so I get the baseball bat from his friend and I send it to this artist and I spend

so many hours on the phone with her for like about a month being like this is the inside joke like we had this thing with like a monkey I forget what the fuck that. Was that me like hanging from the ceiling while we're fucking, I don't know. Like there was crazy shit. Okay. Crazy sexual shit, crazy stuff that was just fun. And so I had this woman to a tee paint every single inch of this bat. And by the time the bat was over, we were over. And so I was not seeing him anymore, but I'm like, I've got this bat. And so I remember I drive to his apartment and I leave it with seeing him anymore but I'm like I've got this bat and so I remember I drive to his apartment and I leave it with his doorman and I leave a little note saying Merry Christmas like wish you the best in this like next chapter of your life or whatever because

like I was over it I was I think I was dating someone new at the time whatever but again we always want them to be in love with us even if we're not in love with them you know what I mean I get a call from him later that night and he is like Alex Cooper I'm in shock right now and I'm like what and he's like I'm sitting in my bedroom on my bed my family is in my living room and I'm like I'm I'm embarrassed to admit like I just started crying I don't think anyone's ever given me a nicer gift in my life and I'm like oh oh oh he's in shock he's like this is the nicest thing that I've ever ever gotten from anyone and I'm like oh my god like I'm so happy you like it like obviously we're not together anymore but like I just wanted I had made it before so I just figured you could have it whatever fast, I remember it was the beginning of the barstool days.

So now this is like four years later. And four years later, I've seen this man have like three other girlfriends online and everything. And I guess he was moving to a new state because he was moving teams. And I get a picture and it's his storage unit. And he's like, I'm clearing everything out, but you know what's coming with me? And he sent me a picture of the bat. And he's like, I'm clearing everything out, but you know, what's coming with me. And he sent me a picture of the bat and he's like, still to this day,

like never had anyone top this gift, like thinking of you miss you and love you. And I was like, Oh my God, wish you would have said that to me. Like when I was in college, cause like, I would have loved to know you loved me, but it was crazy to know that like, that was so a huge part of now I know he probably still has it to this day um or maybe not you know because maybe like his wife was like get rid of that fucking piece of shit anyways on to the next so the artists and I then had this joke because daddy gang didn't stop there it got maniacal okay every athlete that I dated and had like a real relationship with. So I would say three of them. I'd use this artist when game time came to game time and we needed to reel them in and she

would make me a fucking either. So that was a bat. The next boy was a baseball, another baseball player. And I call her and it's like, I would say it's like September and I'm not shitting I shit you not this woman answers the phone and she goes what athletes next because my mom had told her I broke up with Red Sox guy and I'm like so this guy's on the mats we got to ramp it up it can't be a bat because I know that the two of he would find out that I did it for the other one and so I had her put together his number and she drew his number and inside of his number, she created the world of New York city and all of our memories and everything together. And I framed it and it's this huge photo that looks like his number from far

away. I think you've seen pictures like this before, but when you get closer, his number is made up of all of our memories together, our names, our nicknames, the places we've been, everything. And so this hung up in his bedroom forever. And then door number three. Do you guys remember door number three? I did a similar thing for him. Did I do a bat for him? I think I did a bat for him.

Anyways, I would call this woman up and I would say, we got another one on deck and what I will say is although it was a lightly based off of manipulation of like how do I get them to fall in love and I like knew like no athlete is getting like a really sentimental gift from a girl um that I will say once I got out of that era of my life that's how I knew I really liked Matt was when I was like you know what I'm retiring I'm not calling the artist again. This is a new era and I can't use the same tactics and formula with Matt. I also knew that like, I would probably tell the story one fucking day and I didn't want Matt to be like, oh, you just grouped me in with

the guys that hit the balls for a living. Like, okay. Like Matt deserved respect. And also the fact that, I don't know, like it just was, it just was meant to be that I retired that concept. Um, and so, yeah, but that was another good one. If you find an artist to make them something really, really sentimental again, like you'll get your hooks in them so easily. It's just such a good way to utilize manipulation during the holiday time. Do you know what I mean? Anyways. Um, something I will say is in the past I have been given gifts from men but daddy gang because we're regressing um that happened I feel like that happens a lot in solo episodes um I used to be such a fucking asshole with exchanging gifts that men would give me.

I used to be such a fucking asshole with exchanging gifts that men would give me. I would always work the system to trade up the gift and get something better. And the worst part is, let me tell you guys the story. I remember one time I brought the guy with me to exchange the gift that he gave me. I like really rubbed the salt in the wound and emasculated this man even more. It's Christmas time in New York and I wake up to boxes all over the bed. Boxes everywhere. And I'm like, what is happening? And I hadn't gotten this man a gift. And he's like, open it. Merry Christmas, Alex. And I'm like, like oh my god I love dating guys with money this is fabulous and so I start opening the boxes one by one and it's like this Tiffany necklace and then there's

this like specific to me bag and then there's this like designer I think like Prada jacket and it's like all these different things from all these different places and it's not that he had bad taste it's just I he had bad taste. It's just, I knew, I knew we could do better. You know what I mean? So I'm like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. And then by the end of the day, I was like, you know, I really feel like the necklace is so cute, but don't you want me to wear it? And he was like, yeah, put it on. And I'm like, but I don't know. Like, I just feel like, like, is it me? And he's like, yeah, that's why I picked it out the minute I saw, I thought of you. And I'm like, really? Like you think, you think that would

look, you think for me, like specifically me, you could see this on this on and he's like it's why I bought it I'm like why don't we just go to Tiffany and just scout it out like let's just scout it out a little bit and while we're on our way to Tiffany let's stop at Toomey and then also I think Prada's the store over from Toomey and he's like I'm sorry um are you saying you want to exchange every single gift that I gave you and I'm like no no just, I want the opportunity because I know how much money you spent and I know how much thought was put into this. I just want to make sure like we got the good thing that, you know, I'll wear and I'll use like, that's it. And he's like, you want to exchange every single gift I fucking got you, Alex. And I'm like, it sounds worse when you put it like that okay like it's not it's just we want to okay whatever we go to every fucking store daddy gang I exchanged the necklace for a ring for my middle

finger I exchanged the to me bag for a roller bag he had to put down more money I had I exchanged the Prada thing for like a full Prada outfit it it, it was, uh, it, I look back and I'm like, oh my God, I was such a fucking bitch. But like, this is the thing. And I think this is a very valid question. Okay. What is the protocol for exchanging a gift given to you by a significant other? Okay. Step one, I would say, don't be an asshole and emasculate him. Like I think what I, obviously, unless you're in your toxic days, which I was like, then by all means, like be my guest, make him shrivel up in a second, be like, Ooh, we could do better. Okay. But if you're over that phase, which I am,

I would say don't do that because every woman listening to this podcast, I think we can all agree on one thing. Men are more sensitive than women. It's a fact. It's a fact. It is a fact. 100% a fact. No one can prove me wrong. Men are more sensitive than women.

They just like to bottle it up, okay? Them putting themselves out there to then basically get rejected. Oh my God. He's not going to be able to get hard for a fucking month. There's two situations that could happen. I would say that if Matt got me some sweater or a piece of jewelry that I knew I would never wear, okay, then I think you can try to bring it up to them that you wanna return it.

And I think you can actually say, babe, I really, really love what you picked out. I'm just trying to, I wanna make sure I wear it every day or wear it as often as I do. And whether it's a piece of clothing or jewelry, you can be. I'm just trying to, I want to make sure I wear it every day or wear it as often as I do. And whether it's a piece of clothing or jewelry, you can be like, I just, do you mind if we just go look and see at other things in that price range? I don't see why a guy would be upset. If you do it the way I did it, where I'm like, bring back the tomb, bring back the Prada, bring back the Tiffany. Oh, let's go keep shopping. Like, yeah, that's wrong. But if

you're really sensitive about it, I do think there's a way ladies you should not thank your boyfriend or partner or whoever for getting you something that you actually hate and will never wear because then they're gonna be like why didn't you put that on you're like because it's the ugliest fucking sweater I've ever seen in my goddamn life no go return it however if he had planned let's say a special day together and it's not something that you can put on your body, you know, maybe he made an itinerary. Maybe he picked out activities that he genuinely thinks would be meaningful and I secretly hated it. Yeah, I think that's the moment you got to fucking fake it. You can't be like, oh, my God, he gets you a hot air balloon and you're like, I don't want to do that. Or like, can you imagine Matt's like, babe, I know the perfect gift for you this Christmas. We're going to go fly fishing. Matt would never, he would know I would be like,

fuck off. But let's say it's early dating days. Okay. And he doesn't know me that well. And he gets me a fly fishing certificate where do you fly fish I don't know he gets me the boots he gets me the ones you strap up with like the velcro over the shoulder and he's like I know you love to be alone I know you like to do things that are serene and calming I got us fly fishing lessons I think you're gonna have to go and pick up the wheel. What do they call it? The racket? The rod. I think you gotta put the boots on. I think you gotta get in the water knee deep. I think you gotta pick up the rod. And I think you got to go fly fishing. Because when you actually think about it, like an activity, you can't fucking say no.

I don't want to fucking do that. If they're so excited about it, they genuinely put so much time into it. Like they're like, babe, like we're going to go do this thing. Like you got to go. And it doesn't mean you have to be happy, but fucking fake it. Okay. But if it's something that you can return. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, Ooh, like fly fishing, like back in the day, like if Matt had asked me to go fly fishing, which I don't think he would,

cause I don't think Matt would even want to go fly fishing, but let's, let's say he got, we go. I also think something really genius about taking a risk and going on excursions that you probably are going to be so fucking miserable at. It could also make you really realize if you like the person or not right like if I was standing knee-deep fly fishing throwing my rod around and getting after it and like and like I think I would have looked to my right and been like I'm so cold I'm so miserable I literally hate my life right now but I do like doing weird shit with him like if I'm gonna be miserable with someone I would have I it would have I think made me realize like yeah I like doing this with Matt can you imagine if you're out there with a fucking like Chad and he's like so fucking annoying making it awful and he's like we're boozing it up but we're gonna

drink and fly fish like let's fucking get it and like he's being a total douche shit and he's like, we're boozing it up, and we're going to drink and fly fish. Like, let's fucking get it. And, like, he's being a total douche shit. And he's, like, taking his wiener out to, like, pee in the piss in the stream and be like, ha-ha, eat that, fishies. Like, eh. And, like, he's literally a fucking dick. Yeah. Then you're like, oh, my God. Not only do I fucking hate fly fishing, I hate Chad. Or was it Brad?

I don't know but i hate him and his fucking sperries and his vest and his fucking daddy's little credit card fuck you like i actually think you could find a way to hate someone in moments that you hate or you could really love someone and fall in love in moments like fly fishing. I hope no one fly fishes for fun that watches Call Her Daddy. It sounds fabulous. Anyways, Daddy Gang, let me tell you about my holiday plans this year because Matt and I are mixing it up a little bit. Actually, we're not really mixing it up. Matt and I are going to stay in town for Christmas this year because Matt's grandmother, great grandmother, no, Matt's grandmother is turning 100 years old and her birthday is on Christmas. And so ever since I met Matt, it's been like a tradition that we like try to spend Christmas with her and then

go do something. But this year it's her 100th birthday, which is insane. So we're going to pop off. We're going to be having that party. We're going to be getting low. We're going to be grinding on grandmommy and it's going to be lit. Okay. After we have grandmommy's party, then what we're going to do, what we're going to do is we're going to get on a plane and we're going to go ski. And I'm really excited because we're going skiing with some friends of ours. And I'm just going to be in my, my element winter wonderland. I got us a room that has a hot tub on the balcony. Ooh, there's nothing better than like skiing all day, getting in the balcony, having a whiskey

and having sex after skiing where you're like exhausted. Fabulous. So that's my Christmas plan. But yeah, I'm really excited. So daddy gang, that is it for this week's episode. It's crazy because this time of year makes me reflect so much on not just like my personal life but this show my baby you my family the daddy gang and I

just am so excited for the new year I have so many episodes that I'm so excited for you guys to see. I will say the person that's kicking off the new year is so fucking baller. I am so fucking excited and I just can't wait for you guys to see it. But, um, next week I'm going to do a rerun. This is the last main episode of the year. Next week we're going to rerun the John Mayer episode because I forgot we also filmed that during Christmas and remember John Mayer sings us some Christmas songs. He serenades us. got a private concert yeah I remember all of that I remember that feeling um so you guys are gonna have that next week but I just hope all of you have an amazing holiday season and something I said in a Sunday session episode this the other week that I want to make sure everyone is mindful of is like I am so aware that the holiday season is really fucking tough

for some people and actually for everyone just because there's such high expectations around it and I just really hope everyone goes into this holiday season just kind of chill you know what I mean like don't put too much expectations on family and friends and what's gonna happen and all that like relax and try to enjoy yourself I can imagine there's also people still working during the holiday season. So like you're not alone. I will also be working. So I'll be at my computer and thinking of you.

But just like, I don't know. I just, I think this time of year is really hard for people. And I can imagine there's a lot of you that are watching this. And go re-watch some Call Her Daddy episodes for a good laugh, you know. And just try to spread your own fucking Christmas cheer this year. We don't need anyone else to make us happy. Let's make ourselves fucking happy. Okay. Get yourself a tree, even if it's fake, if you don't have one, I think it's been making me really happy at home. Although I think while Matt's been gone, my tree has literally been fucking dying. Cause I keep

forgetting to water it. Um, I water it every like five days. It's kind of starting to tilt a little to the right. But we had it for like a week. You have to water your Christmas tree. We have a Jewish man in the room. You do? You have to water your tree. It's cut down. No.

You guys, you have to water your tree. It doesn't just live. It's not this fake ass shit. I've got a real tree. I've got to grow and it's got to prosper and I've got to put love into it um I think Bruce keeps going under and drinking up the water it's like fucking disgusting I'm like Bruce stop eating the Christmas tree water anyways daddy gang I love you guys so much I'm so excited for the new year have your new year's kiss with or without anyone kiss yourself kiss someone, have good sex, and let's ring in the new year and not create unrealistic New Year's resolutions. So it's okay if you don't go to the fucking gym.

I'm not going to go, and so it's okay. I love you guys. Oh my god. I will be back on January 10th, 2024. I'll miss you guys. See you then.