Call Her Daddy - Affording Therapy 101

Episode Date: November 14, 2021

Give me an “M”...give me an “I”…you know where this is going. Father Cooper is back for another mini episode and with some advice you are sure to be ~thankful~ for ;) If you’ve ever listened to an episode of Call Her Daddy you know the drill – get into therapy ASAP. But, easier said than done, right? Well, grab your pen and notebook because Alex has done her research and is here to give you some answers on how to access affordable therapy. Let’s also discuss - can I date my brother’s best friend; do I prioritize family or the fuck? Has a significant other ever gifted you an iPhone? Well you lucky bastard, take it and run, because Big Al addresses when it is appropriate to buy someone an iPhone (spoiler alert…never – you’re being used). Last but not least, Father Cooper breaks down how to ask someone to get STD tested and when it is appropriate to hold blowjobs for ransom. If you’re horny and you know it clap your hands and go fucking listen – enjoy Daddies!  

What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the weather is so delightful. And since there's no- Hi, dads. It's 85 degrees in California today, and I'm so fucking hungover. I went out last night. What day is it? I don't even fucking know. It's Sunday by the time I'm releasing this. I went out last night with my friend Eileen, who I had on the podcast and some of our friends and I by dinner was three dirty martinis deep things are gonna go wrong by the end of that night Eileen was streaking down the fucking streets of California that is a great night and then we went to go in to get into this place and there

was like a long line. Eileen was like, I know. I forgot about this. Eileen goes up to the guy and she's like, I know someone that works here, whatever. And he's like, we're not letting anyone in right now. And Eileen dead ass looks him in the eyes and was like, it's so disturbing disturbing because as your mouth was saying that i just realized you have the smallest wiener and the guy literally goes all right you're done so then i escort her off of the premises and we will never be going to chateau marmont again and then we just headed to a new fucking club okay and clubs in la i will say are so fucking stupid I got my fucking ass out of there the minute we got there I was like I forgot how much I hate nightclubs goodbye good dang goodbye except for marquee nightclub in New York City you guys know how that place really gets me

fucking going it's worth ruining your life only if you're at Marquee Nightclub in New York City. Okay. So it was really fun and we had a really good time. So today we're going to splurge on a little mini and we're going to go on a vacation because that's what we do on Sundays. Now we take a little Betty trip. Here we go, fuckers. Enjoy. Hey, Alex, I guess this isn't really a question, but more of a request suggestion. Since the new era, you've really opened up about therapy and the benefits it's had for you. Likewise, you've had a shitload of guests talk about their experience with therapy and how it's benefited them, which I think is truly amazing and helping the conversation around mental health in general. But here's the thing. A lot of us who listen to your podcast would also love to be on this

healing journey of going to therapy. Unfortunately, can't afford it. I'm 25 years old, soon to be 26. And in a majority of the conversations I've had with friends my age about mental health, the same subject is always brought up. The cost, accessibility, and how we literally cannot afford to get the help we need. I have friends my age who have taken thousands of dollars out of savings just so that they can continue going to therapy because they knew they'd be fucked without it. I have friends who so badly want to go to therapy, but for them it would come down to having money for food, gas, and living expenses that week or paying for one therapy

session so they can try to get their shit together. I have friends whose mental health is getting worse because of the stress of not being able to afford it. It's like a continuous cycle. You want to get better, but you can't because you don't have the money to see people to help you get better. And then you feel like you're never going to get better. So I guess my request would be for you to talk about this more. Talk about the cost of therapy and how for a lot of people, it really isn't accessible. Talk about the lack of mental health resources for lower income middle class families. Talk about universal mental health care for all. just saying go to therapy, which we all know we need and I 100% agree with. Have people on your podcast that actually know this struggle and can openly talk about it. I feel like if you started talking about this more, you could really make a change. You have one of the biggest voices and

platforms of this generation. I really believe if you talked about this more, it would become a topic of conversation for many and people would really realize that something needs to change around accessibility to mental health resources. Also, thank you for changing the trajectory of this show. I never listened to an episode before the single father era because that shit was useless. Okay. This is the first time I'm reading this question because that shit was useless trash i'm sorry and i couldn't listen to the other voice but you really are helping so many people now love you father jesus christ okay i was like in my feels i'm gonna get to answering this

question but i did not see it going that route mental health is is blah, blah, blah. Also couldn't listen to that useless trash. Okay. I appreciate the write-in. You're right. I definitely have opened up about therapy and I am so aware that I am privileged, that I am able to be in therapy and get the help I need. And I think in the beginning of me just opening that conversation, I'll admit when I brought up therapy, the call her daddy girl is in therapy just with the stigma around it. And I think hopefully within the past two years now, everyone's like, hey, Alex, we get it. We should all be in fucking therapy. Shut the fuck up. But I actually feel with my content now, I'm trying to pivot even farther and go deeper. And I think this question is a beautiful example of what I can now be doing. Like, I agree. I was actually just to be open with you guys. I was

going to do a Thanksgiving episode about going home for the holidays and like the drinking night before Thanksgiving, the biggest drinking night of the world. And then I asked you guys to write in questions and concerns that you have for going home for Thanksgiving and the holidays in general this year and the submissions are intense as they should be family shit is fucking intense but there's like this delicate dance that I'm doing with call her daddy where it's like of course I always want to have fun we're always trying to have fucking fun in a good time but there's also I'm recognizing I have this platform and I also have resources with Spotify people reaching out to doctors for me asking if they would want to come on the show. I'm realizing I can literally have someone on that could then hopefully change a listener's life because there are going to be themes touched on that could directly relate to you. I am having a licensed marriage and family therapist on the show. And I was just like, damn, like that. That's it. I guess hopefully that's a start in the right direction of your question where you're saying like,

like use your platform to also help us get educated. I would say when. hold on, I need to stop this for a second. Okay. Hello. This is a different day. I'm coming back to answer this question. I realized that I was sitting down to record this mini and answer this amazing question. And I had nothing fucking planned in front of me. Like I was about to just speak from the heart, which usually I would say works. But for this specific question, I needed to get my shit together and actually do the research for you and come back with something tangible. So Daddy Gang, I will post all this information on my social media as well. So if you have health insurance, the Affordable Care Act requires that all health plans offer

some level of coverage for mental services. So if you have a job and you have an HR department and you have health care, there is some type of coverage that is going to come your way for mental services. You just have to look into it. Where the fuck do I look into it? How do I even begin that process? Daddy gang, where is your insurance card? Half the time I can't find mine. I call my dad a lot for it. Okay. The point is daddy gang, you need to know your insurance benefits. And I understand this fucking shit is so confusing. Why didn't we learn about

this in school? Why do do taxes and fucking insurance shit? I don't understand it. And it's taken me a long time. And I'm happy now I can help you guys know your insurance benefits. What I mean by that is pick up the fucking card, flip it over and call the phone number on the back of that card. There will be a phone number. You're going to pick up the phone.

And then what the fuck do you say? You're going to ask the person on the line, hi, I'm looking at my insurance card right now. Can you tell me what are my mental health benefits? In-network is probably what you're going to be looking for because it's going to be hopefully covered by insurance through your job. There are some specific situations where out network, if you go and find a therapist on your own, there is situations where your job will cover that, but that's less likely than in network. So really try to hone in on in network first.

After that, guys, ask if a therapist offers a sliding scale. What the fuck does that mean, Alex? I didn't know until I started doing research. A sliding scale is a fee for your therapy that is going to be determined based on your income. If you find a therapist that offers a sliding scale, the cost of your therapy is going to be catered directly to how much money you make. Fucking bingo. Guys, I also would say to anyone in college right now, universities, colleges have student health centers that usually offer free mental health services. Take advantage of that. They're taking enough of our money anyways, right? Fuck you, tuition. Okay. Some employers offer mental health benefits through employee assistance program, EAP. So all my homies, if you got a fucking job, fuck your employer, okay?

They're fucking dragging you through the mud. They're the reason you need fucking therapy. Okay. And access is free. Okay. So your employee handbook, look in your employee handbook, or just go to your human resources department. And they can hopefully provide you additional information on any EAP benefit options. That's huge guys. Like there, if there is EAP at your company and they're willing to give employee assistance for mental health services, take a fucking advantage. And I would just like to say this. If some of you go to your HR department and ask about the mental health services and they basically turn you down, that is not okay. That's not even an acceptable answer. They're just being lazy and not giving you

the correct answer and i would encourage you to either ask to speak to someone else okay getting heated next if you do not have health insurance do not feel bad until america has universal health care some of us are going to have this issue right Number one, better health offers services not covered by insurance for 60 to $90 per session. Okay. So anyone that can afford that 60 to $90 per session, better health offer services. Okay. Next, I would say for people that don't have health insurance, open path psychotherapy collective. Okay. What the fuck is that? It is a nationwide network of mental health professionals who charge between $30 and $80 per session. Bingo. They only include sliding scale therapists in the searchable database. So if you guys go to Open Path Psychotherapy

Collective online, you are going to be looking for therapists. The only therapists that are on that site are sliding scale, aka they will accommodate your income and base what you're going to pay them based off of your income. Clinics often offer free services by having supervised students serve as the provider. So if there's a clinic in your area, show up and ask what services can you provide me for mental health assistance. To find a clinic, what the fuck? How do I find that? You are going to contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness. National Alliance on Mental Illness. N-A-M-I. You're going to contact their helpline or you're going to go to mentalhealth.gov. Mentalhealth.gov. Just go to mentalhealth.gov. The National Alliance on Mental Illness also has a helpline like i think

that's huge yes you guys can go to the website mentalhealth.gov you can also call this number and it offers free assistance and advice for 24 hours a day seven days a week. You can reach the helpline at get your fucking pencils out bitches 1-800-950-6264 or you can text N-A honestly fucking text. Why don't you guys just fucking text this number 741-741 and you're going to text the letters N-A-M-I and it's going to give you information. If you do not have health insurance and you're like, I can't go to a clinic today, why don't you just start off by texting that number? Text the number. I'm going to do it right now. 1-741-NAMI. Okay. Resources while we connect you. Let me click on this link. Boom. Crisis hotline. Resources. Bullying. Anxiety and stress. COVID-19. Eating and body image. Gender and sexuality. Grief. Isol, and loneliness. Let's press on anxiety.

Bingo. There are resources for anxiety and stress right in front of my face right now. You can click and I'm scrolling. Guys, this literally is bringing me to find a therapist. If you text, hold on. Okay, so you're gonna get a text message back and it's gonna say, hi, this is the crisis text line. Don't be afraid. And they're gonna say resources while we connect you. Click on the link and all of a sudden you're gonna be brought to a website

that is going to begin your journey towards finding help with your mental health. Also, this is not fucking easy at all and I'm not trying to make it sound easy. Reading all of these, I'm very aware that this is very overwhelming to some people. Take a second. Rewind. Do you have health insurance? Do you not have health insurance? And start there. The people with health insurance, find out those benefits, go to Open Path Psychotherapy Collective and get a therapist on the sliding scale. If you have a specific income, they are going to help find a fee that works for you based off of that income and for all my people that don't have health insurance please text that number 741 741 and text n-a-m-i to that number and just begin the journey i'm driving i'm too busy i'm at school i'm at work like oh like i wish but it just sounds

too complicated i get it but the minute that you actually get the help you're gonna be like why the fuck didn't i do this sooner and i would also say if you're afraid or just nervous or just hesitant to do this on your own pick up the phone and call your best friend right now bitch we're doing this together let's fucking go like when we get home i'm setting an alarm on our phones and we're both going on this fucking website that Alex gave us and we're making it fucking happen today call your mom call your dad call a sibling call whoever you have that's close to you and just say hey I need you right now and also I always find when you say it to someone say like hey I need you to hold me accountable by the end of this week please call me and ask if I did this and like hold me

accountable and make sure that I sign up for this I just understand that I made a lot of comments these past now year about therapy and that was just the first step for me of being open about being in therapy and I'm really glad that someone now wrote this question because I'm so aware that I'm so privileged to be able to afford a therapist every week. And so I hope that this is going to help you guys. Research literally shows that if you have a dedicated weekly space to verbalize your thoughts and emotions, it is helpful in itself. It pushes you to do better for yourself by like working through those things that need to be worked through or else you're just

going to suppress them and it's going to affect your personality and your life and your relationships and your friendships and the way that you look at yourself. I love you guys, but please, if you wanted to get help and you were overwhelmed, daddy's got you, bitch. Hello, daddy. This is childish, but I need advice. Sweetie, it's not ever childish, okay? Should I date my brother's friend? Okay, well, should I date my brother's best friend? We have known Andrew, his best friend, for years and grew up together. This is triggering me because my brother had a good friend, Andrew, that I always had a crush on when I was younger. Okay, let's keep it moving. Andrew and I have hooked up a few times, but my brother has gotten really mad and childish and ignored both of us for months.

Recently, Andrew and I have been flirting and talking about starting up something serious, but I'm worried about my brother. Should I care or is my brother an idiot? Listen, I would say this situation, bottom line, it sucks. But I would also say family first. If this is going to create serious problems between you and your brother, I would personally say it's not worth it. From what you're writing in, you're not like, I am madly in love with this man. You're just like casually been hooking up and you're like, should we make this serious? Like, this is going to really hurt your brother. It's also going to hurt his friendship. It's going to hurt your relationship. Like, if this wasn't your brother's friend, would it be as enticing? Like, would you like this guy

as much? Because I can speak from experience. All of my brother's friends to me, I thought were like so hot and I wanted to hook up with them. And then I did make out with one. And after that, I was like, that was it. Maybe I would first say, explore this relationship behind closed doors with yourself. Is this a fun fling? Is this only fun, again, because it's your little secret? Or is this potentially something so serious to you that's worth affecting you and your brother's relationship? If you are in love with this person, it's such a different answer. So let's go down the route you think you're in love with this person. Not to put pressure, but you got to fucking figure out is this worth it or not pretty soon because if it is worth it then you're going to be able to go to

your brother and be like you got to have a sit down conversation with him and and help him understand listen our relationship means everything to me but I have fallen in love with this person and I want you to look at it from the standpoint of this is your best friend. You know, this is a good guy. And I know this is probably painful, but like, I love him. And I'm really, I'm really into this. And I really want you to support me. And I know it's not going to be easy. And you need to also bear some of the weight. Like, don't be fucking making out with this dude in front of your brother. Don't be holding hands. Don't be cuddly. And if you can say, well, that sucks. Like, that's not fun to begin a relationship like that. Well, that's the price you have to pay the fact that you're going for it to sleep with your brother's best friend.

If you give a fuck about your brother, you need to put his feelings at the top of consideration. If this is just a fun fling, how many other dicks are out there? Like, come on. Like, I get it. It's that secret, sexy secret sauce. Come on. Like, let it go. so I went on vacation this past summer and I met this guy we fucked got like obsessed with each other foreign dick is just next level but now obviously I'm back in the states and next time I see him I will probably it will probably be next summer we keep in touch every day however he has been asking me to buy him an iPhone and I can't help but feel like I'm being used. And he just wants to keep in touch because he thinks I'm rich and will buy him nice things. Like a conversation will literally be dead and they'll be like, so

iPhone 13 is out. Oh my God. He says it's just much cheaper to buy an iPhone here in America rather than Greece. But I just don't know what to do. Please, father. Am I just blind? Yeah, you are blind. Do not buy anyone a fucking iPhone. If you somehow end up as a lucky recipient of an iPhone, congrats. You take that shit and you run.

Baby, you're better than this, girlfriend. Come on. If you listen to fucking Call Her Daddy and if a dude is asking you to buy him a fucking iphone you gotta see straight through that shit you're not getting a fucking iphone okay you are being used and i am not gonna stand for this we don't buy people iphones you're gonna go on fucking craigslist and you're gonna get him that big old fat iphone 4 with the big chunky plug and you're gonna send it all across the fucking world to Greece and be like here baby I got you an iPhone 4 I have a feeling that he's going to all of a sudden be unreachable you can't download tinder

on that fucking 4 I cannot think of one scenario truly truly, let's really picture this, where you would buy someone an iPhone. Hey, Alex. I'm not uncomfortable with talking about sex, STDs, or anything to do with sex with the guy I'm seeing. But I also don't want it to seem like I think he's unclean or anything, which he isn't. I was just wondering how should I ask him to get tested for STDs as I don't think he has since we've become exclusive. And I want to make sure now that he's just with me and having unprotected sex that we're safe from anything previous. This is a great question. You should copy and paste that to him and send this exact question to him i want to fuck you i love fucking you our sex has been so good recently but i think we should

get tested and let's just make sure everything's good so we can continue to fuck without condoms because i know we just recently became exclusive if you can't say that to the person that you're in an exclusive relationship with, then reconsider your fucking relationship. Also, you should get tested too. Even if you're like, well, I haven't done anything. Totally fine. But don't put it just on him. Hey, let's both get tested. Let's share our results together on Friday and let's have a fuck fest after it. Okay. That is the most reasonable request i have ever heard way more reasonable than the iphone debate okay you are you are at the top of your game sweetie hey babe i know we are exclusive now but i was just thinking about it let's just be super safe now that we're not using condoms let's put our past to the past and let's have a fuck fest tonight gotta get that info bitch okay next i just started dating a new guy he refuses to eat me out

that is a fucking no no no sweetie cute little thing you gotta bounce the fuck out of there he doesn't eat that box you gotta get right out get back on the street sweetie whore it up let's go anyways he said his ex peed in his mouth not squirted just full-on peed while she was riding his face he's really good at everything else and i just really want my fucking clit sucked how can i help him get over his past trauma of getting pissed on so he's comfortable eating pussy again i would not call him getting pissed on as trauma okay this is a ransom situation yeah you hold blowjobs hostage and you don't offer any until this man eats your fucking pussy you can tell him to get the fuck over it if this person is obsessed with you like they're down for some fucking like oh

fuck like you accidentally peed like who gives a fuck it's sex it's supposed to be nasty and messy people paint sex as it's supposed to go perfect and according to plan and the flip of the transition to the next position should be so effortless and oh my god you queefed this is so awkward it's like no my pussy is wet and there are air sockets in it because your fucking dick has been sliding inside of it, out of it. It's like people, you need to understand, this is what I would say, the more what he's calling trauma, okay, the more trauma there is, pee and shit and farts and queefs and all of that, the better the fucking sex is then. The more that you're willing to let all of your inhibitions go and actually fucking get freaky that is when sex is good you're probably

over there like i know that's why i'm fucking telling you how do i get him over this i think you should say babe shut the fuck up he needs to understand piss is piss why is he being a fucking pussy you literally say babe you need to trust me i understand your trauma okay and you see your trauma with p let me be the first to tell you that I am not gonna piss on your fucking face, but if you don't eat my clit soon, I don't know where this relationship stands. So add that to your fucking trauma list, buddy.

Get down and get busy on my fucking clit. That is it for this week's fucking episode. Baby girls, the moral of the story today is do, do not, do not ever sync up and give someone that good, good. And by that good, good, I mean that iPhone. And then last but not least, getting peed on is not trauma. What's really trauma should be dealt with, with mental health services.

And I am really hoping that you guys are going to actually make it happen today. Pick up your phones, get on your computers, call a friend, hold yourself accountable and get the help that you need. There is no fucking shame in taking care of yourself. We have one fucking brain and we have one fucking life. This is it. This is literally it. So do you want to be the best version of yourself, the healthiest version and like fucking happy? Or do you want to stay kind of in the shadows and not facing some of the shit that if you deal with it, I promise you, it just gets better. I'm going to put one the time codes of the mental health segment. I'm going to put that in the description so that you guys can go back to that and start it and pause it. And I'm also going to put it on my social media.

Daddy gang, I fucking love you. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday.