Call Her Daddy - Am I Lame if I Don’t Want to Go Out Anymore?

Episode Date: December 10, 2023

Join Father Cooper for a much needed Sunday catch-up ahead of the holidays. Alex recaps her Thanksgiving, how she got subtle baby fever, and why stuffing should be a year-round dish. She also reminds everyone that the holidays can be tough and gives her advice on how to handle complicated family dynamics. Alex then talks about her current work grind and mission to lock down a consistent work-out routine before answering some questions of the week! She gives her take on therapy lulls, outgrowing clubbing, and how to stop letting social media influence how you feel about your social life. Enjoy!

Sunday morning, Father's calling. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Every Sunday's Father's Day. Ah! What the fuck? That was pretty good, right? Hello, Daddy Gang. Welcome back to another Sunday session with your father.

It's Father's Day. Hi. Five minutes ago, I decided, you know what? Maybe I should record a Sunday episode. But then I was like okay amazing what am I gonna talk about with the daddy gang I'm always honest with you guys and I'm gonna keep it fucking real I have no life I have literally no life right now I've been so fucking busy with work that my entire life is work and that's okay I'm not mad about it but

it's just not what you want to hear I could sit here and talk to you about how business is going and how many trademarks have been filed, litigations that are happening. Like, oh girl, we can get down and gritty with the business acumen, okay? But I know that's not what you're here for. You're looking for the spice and dice, and I don't have it. But I think that's okay to keep it real with you. Cheers. I'm drinking some wine because it's been a long fucking week. So daddy gang, welcome back to another episode of Call Her Daddy. I promise it's not going to be depressing, but ever since I got back from tour, which, you know, when I say that I sound

like a fucking pop star, or at least it feels like it. No it no I I had the best time at tour and it was kind of a weird feeling where it was almost like a come down that I was experiencing coming off of tour I was around so many people for so many days in so many different cities and not just you daddy gang being around you I mean like all the crew that was doing the tour for me like there were so many people around me and then I got back to Los Angeles and I just fucking crashed. Like I feel like I became a shell of a human being. And I've been trying to force myself to get back into a normal regimen and routine. And it's just been kicking my ass. You know, we haven't talked in a while. And Thanksgiving was fabulous. But Matt and I hosted our first Thanksgiving last year.

And I said to everyone, you guys are all out of your fucking mind if you think that Matt and I will be hosting Thanksgiving this year. I'm coming back from tour. I don't have anything to give. I don't have my space to give. I don't have any jokes to crack. Okay. I just want to fucking drink my ass off and eat food someone else host and Matt's mother was so gracious and kind to be like count me in it was such a good vibe it was a pretty small group just Matt's family and my family someone in our family just had a baby which you know in past previous years I would have looked at a baby and been like all I would have thought is like just don't fucking cry and just keep your thoughts to yourself and shit your pants and eat your food and go to bed. But this year, seeing this baby and his chubby little body and just holding him, I was like, holy fuck, is this what getting older feels like? All of a sudden I was like, do I have baby fever? Is this that feeling?

I don't know. It was a little rocky road for me. I didn't want to like lean too hard into the feeling, but I was like, I, oh my God. What the fuck just happened? I tried to hold in the sneeze, but then I went to talk and it all just came out. Anyways, Thanksgiving was amazing.

What I will say is this, I am so obsessed with Thanksgiving food. I don't think aside from a chicken parmesan, there is any other meal that I would prefer to eat. Let me think about that. I love dumplings. That was so random. I love a cheeseburger. Like I would never be someone that says like my dying meal is sushi. Like I love sushi, but it's not the way I'm going out. There is something about Thanksgiving food that puts me into a frenzy. Like I was not able to think right for the two weeks up leading up to Thanksgiving. Matt was like, Alex, stop all I

would lay in bed next to this poor man. And's like let's fuck and I'm like I can't wait to eat the stuffing Matt and he's like it it's so far away like what and um so I right before Thanksgiving was craving stuffing so badly that I went to the grocery store Gelson's as one does and I shopped my little ass off um for some old cornbread and stuffing. Like I wanted to really see like, could I cook this? Because if it turned out to be good, then I was going to bring something to Thanksgiving. And I basically started cooking alone. Matt was out of town by the time I decided to do this. And I'm cooking and I make myself an entire huge casserole platter of stuffing and it was good. It was, well, no, it wasn't. It was, what was it? It was a little dry

and I'm still trying to figure out why because I followed all the steps. So I didn't offer to bring a platter to Thanksgiving, but I ate an entire casserole platter, even though it was dry by myself of stuffing. And I realized that stuffing should not just be dedicated to one fucking day of the year. It should be incorporated as if it's fucking broccoli. Like, oh, you want mashed potatoes or do you want stuffing? Like, why are we not incorporating it more? So I got to Thanksgiving and I told Matt, baby, I'm I'm showing up in my big girl pants like I'm coming for multiple rounds like I'm gonna try to go back three times and somehow save room for pie and I think that I got over over excited

and over hyped and I you guys I ate I'm sorry if this is gross but I ate so much food on Thanksgiving that for the next week my body could not self-regulate and I was in physical fucking pain I couldn't have sex for a week with Matt like it like my belly was just so fucking engorged with like loads of food and I um was in physical pain after Thanksgiving and so now now I can't even fuck do you guys ever do that where you overeat one food that you're obsessed with to the point where you can't even fucking look at it? It happened to me with Cool Ranch Doritos at one point, and I was devastated because who doesn't love Cool Ranch Doritos?

I'm back on my grind for Doritos now, but I do just want to be honest. Like there is such a thing as too much of a good thing can. What? What would that too much of a good thing can? Is that a saying too much of a good thing can become what? Fill in the blank. Sound off in the comments. Is that even a thing? DM me. Too much of a good thing can become bad. We are hitting the world with revolutionary content this week. Everybody sip if you're drinking and watching this. Happy Sunday. So anyways, Thanksgiving was fabulous. And the minute that Thanksgiving ended, I looked Matt in the eyes and I said, you know what's going on tomorrow? And he's like, can't we at least let's wait two days. I'm like tomorrow, Matt, the day after Thanksgiving. He's like, babe, like it can wait a week. I said tomorrow, Matt, tomorrow. and what is that on the calendar to go buy a Christmas tree something that I don't appreciate is that October November and December should not be on top of each other

we should have more time to celebrate the holidays and I feel like I'm rushed and I don't want to be rushed I told Matt I want to get my Christmas tree in September. That for him was a hard no. And not only was a hard no, it like genuinely upset him. So I'm like, okay, calm down. It's like a fucking tree in our house. But all right, totally cool. We won't get our tree in September. We'll do it in October. We'll have a fucking pumpkin next to a tree. How about that? And he said, you're ruining everything. Like, let everything be individual. Why? Why? Why? And I'm like, because Christmas is the climax. And I want to feel like I get to fucking enjoy Christmas for longer than a fucking month. So then I didn't get the tree.

And then I just agreed with him. Fine. The day after Thanksgiving, we're getting our fucking tree. And so that's our tradition, I guess. Next year, it'll be the beginning of November. And then all of a sudden, you'll see me having a fucking Christmas tree in October. And then boom, August hits. Motherfucker, it's my birthday.

You know what I want for my birthday? A Christmas tree. Let's wrap it up. And if there is no Christmas tree store open, go out into the forest, Matt. Figure it out. Chivalry is not dead. Oh my God, that's exactly what I'm gonna do next year.

Babe, all I want for my birthday, I bet you can't even make it happen and he's gonna be like what and i'm like i want a christmas tree motherfucker being in a relationship with me is calm stable energy so anyways yeah we got our christmas tree and i'm not gonna lie it's fucking big i'm staring at it right now i don't really want to show you guys because I'm feeling a little bit insecure about my Christmas tree. It's looking a little rinky dinky so I'm gonna have to plump it up a little bit but oh this is something I can talk about. I'm gonna try to keep it very vague. I've been going through some family shit recently that has just been very emotionally taxing and exhausting and time consuming. I bet there were a lot of people that were disappointed with Thanksgiving, even though

we hype it up in our heads. And I can imagine there are so many people that are in their mind trying to prepare for the holiday break, for Christmas Hanukkah for New Year's. I realized that like a lot of family problems get exacerbated during the holidays because there's so much pressure to be fucking happy and what fucking family is fully happy. I don't know. Do you guys know any of them? I don't know. Send them my way. I don't know. But what I will say is I think that using the holidays as a time to try to solve problems or get underneath problems, it's not the move. Because I tried to do it over Thanksgiving and it didn't work. The moral of the story is avoid every problem that you have. Completely sweep it under the rug until the new year. Don't try to have confrontations.

Don't try to have deep conversations. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go somewhere to the back of your mind and even if you have beef with someone I actually think there's something good to be said of you just being like you know what I know we have shit to talk about and I know we don't see eye to eye or I know we have this whatever it is but let's just enjoy the holidays and deal with it after I

actually don't know if my therapist would slap me on the wrist for saying this. No, I don't think she would. There are just some things where it's like it's not the time and it's not the place. And so I know people get anxious going into holidays, going back to childhood homes, trigger people going to families, houses that you don't fucking like going to maybe your significant other's mother and father-in-laws that you fucking hate or there are cousins or whoever. We all have those people. And I'm telling you, I don't know if this is regression or growth. So leave that for my therapist. Don't DM me your answers. Okay. Leave it at, what do they say? Leave it at the door. Leave the drama at the door and just fake it. Be so fucking fake. I think I'm losing it.

There is a positive to not engaging in these deep, intense conversations where you're trying to fix things. Or if someone is frustrating the fuck out of you I'm not saying don't address someone if they're being fucking rude to you at the dinner table but I do think when I said and I've said it almost I feel like in every single solo episode I've done this past year is like be so selfish with your energy and your time I think there's something really healthy about don't let anyone ruin your fucking Christmas or your New Year's, daddy gang. Like, fuck them. Don't let it happen. We cannot control others. What we can do is control ourselves and our reactions. And I feel like if you can get to a zen ass place where you realize nothing can ruin my holiday this year. It's my holiday. I'm going to enjoy Christmas. I'm going to enjoy New Year's and I

will address reality on January 2nd. Now maybe give it till the next week. Okay. Live in that bliss, bitch. Okay. Delusion is the key to life. to life emotions are heightened during the holidays and people think like this is the time to go in no eat your pie bitch sit the fuck down and watch a Christmas movie that's gonna that's gonna be the uh the sentiment today what else is happening in going back to the beginning of this conversation that we're having, Daddy Gang. My life has been all work and no fucking play. And I'm so fucking busy. And so is Matt. Matt is currently away. And I will not play while Matt's away. I've been literally holed up in my house working and just spending time with my dogs. And I just think it's good to, you know, we're keeping it real here, guys. Big Al's not clubbing.

Big Al is not hitting the streets. Big Al is not rubbing shoulders with anyone. Like Big Al is calm, cool and collected sitting on her fucking couch, rotting, staring at her fireplace every night watching Love Island Australia with her dogs. Something that I really, really, really was frustrated with myself about. I remember I told you guys back in my wedding episode. Oh my God, how long ago was that? When I was like, you guys, I'm picking wedding locations. My life's a fucking disaster. I remember telling you guys that I had started Pilates. How fucking long ago was that episode?

Oh my God. August 22nd is when i fucking uploaded that episode i was trying to do pilates i was getting consistent like i really wanted to get my toned arms for my wedding and after i uploaded that episode i never worked out again so it has been officially about four months since i've worked out and And I feel like a fucking piece of shit. When I was on tour, I was seeing just like pictures of myself, of people posting. And that didn't really bother me. But it is obnoxious because I just I couldn't stop looking of being like, oh my god, like I have no fucking tone in my arms and my legs look disgusting above I'm like being a fucking cunt to myself but I have not worked out in four months you guys I got back to LA and I have was trying everything to trick

myself into like well your wedding is coming work out like I have tried every self-manipulative thing that I can say to myself to get my fucking ass in the gym I feel like I've talked about this before but like I really fucking struggle to consistently just normally work out. And I just wish I could be a little bit more of a fucking consistent queen so that my mental health was not so like, ooh, you little piece of shit. Try to fucking just go to the gym for 20 fucking minutes, Alex. I can't. I would rather sleep in in the morning and try to get that extra fucking hour so I'm not exhausted while I'm working all day. And then by the time I'm done my work days at like, what, seven o'clock at night, I'm going to go to the gym. No, I'm going to sit my ass on the fucking couch, drink a bottle of wine and watch fucking Love Island. I've been really struggling.

So Daddy Gang, if you're also struggling, I just want to say hi. Hello. It's me. It's Alex. I feel ya. I see ya. It's not fun. I don't know if anyone else experiences struggling, I just want to say hi. Hello. It's me. It's Alex. I feel you. I see you. It's not fun. I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but like, I do not feel whatever you call it, endorphins from working out. I don't feel it. I don't feel happier after I work out. I don't feel, oh, so glad I did that. I don't, I literally do not feel happier um I don't and I don't know what like should I go to the doctor I don't know so when everyone's like oh like just go and and like for example Matt has to work out or his mental health he's like I feel like shit I feel stressed I gotta go run I'm like you feel when I feel stressed I want to sit on my couch and eat a bag

of fucking chips and just watch reality TV to take my mind off things. Working out when I'm stressed, get the fuck out of here. So I'm trying to rewire my brain and I've realized that doing things on the show before, and I said, listen, I need you to force me to work out. Kazzy is someone that works out religiously and has not to objectify my friend right now and be creepy. But Kazzy has the best fucking body. She has abs. She has a toned ass she's the girl that I'm like fuck you you are so fucking diligent and routine and you're just so good at working out and

it's a priority for her in her life and so I was like if I spend time with Kazzy and I ask her to do friend workouts with me I bet it's gonna be easier for me to start working back out. So I don't know if this is your sign, but buddy system is the way to go. I'm having more fun doing the class so I get to talk to Kazzy every day that we're doing it together. I'm not enjoying working out, and I think that's okay.

I don't need to become a gym rat. I don't need to start going to Lululemon and buying a plethora of leggings. I'm just gonna go. I'm gonna move my body. And that's that. That's kind of the 411. I have missed you guys. And I'm sorry that I haven't put out a Sunday episode. I'm just not gonna lie. Like creatively, I was like, I didn't want to let you guys down. And I never want to let you guys down and I never want to let you guys down but I've just been fucking grinding so hard with work and I feel like the holidays are coming up no one wants to work but everyone has to work sometimes it sucks almost

when you're you have these benchmarks of like Christmas is coming or you know New Year's is coming we're gonna all get off you kind of want to just check out and you're like, just get me to this point. And I have just felt so stressed. And I'm like, you know what, I have nothing but love to give. Should we answer a couple questions? This wine is pretty good. Cheers. I have nothing else to talk about with my therapist. Okay, here we go. What do you do when you hit a therapy lull? I've been going to therapy for about two years now and my therapist and I both think I've made amazing progress. I know that I want therapy to always be a part of my life, but for the past four months or so, when I attend my weekly session, I never have much, if anything, to work through through it's more of like a

story time catch-up than actual therapeutic work I love my therapist and again don't want to eliminate therapy but what do you do when you have nothing pressing to work on love you thank you daddy oh girl what it would be like to be in your shoes all of us are like oh fuck I I get exactly what you're saying I I have actually experienced this multiple times it's almost like therapy burnout we were like oh I don't have anything I don't I don't know what to talk about I actually truly believe especially if in your you're in your 20s that there is so much to uncover about yourself and to explore. And I think sometimes we go into therapy and we talk about the things that are pressing issues and that are on our mind and our day to day.

And I don't know if we dive enough into our childhood. And something my therapist I remember said to me was, I actually had one of these moments where I showed up to therapy, I think it was like a year or something ago. And I said, I don't really have anything to talk about. And she was like, well, those are the best sessions. And I'm like, yeah, I've heard therapists supposedly say that when the client comes and says that. Okay, then pitch me, bitch. I didn't say that. But you know, then pitch me, therapist. What do you want me to talk about? Because I have nothing.

I don't want to put you down, my sweetheart. But like, you're telling me that you have nothing in your life that stresses you out. How's your relationship with your mother? How's your relationship with your father? If you are privileged to even have either of them around. How's your relationship with your siblings? What were you like growing up as a child? Was there anything traumatic that you remember about your childhood that you still don't really talk about to anyone? Share with your therapist. I think that something that kind of goes like untapped sometimes is like we talk about sometimes

our childhood within relation to whatever is like pressingly going on in our life sometimes but I would urge people's like how do you feel about your sexuality are you enjoying your sex how's your relationship do you have a relationship how's your dating life what are you looking for like if you're in a relationship are you happy happy? What could you work on? Like I just feel like there's so many things in life of like how do you think your friends view you? How is your social life? Are you pushing yourself to grow? I just feel like sometimes we rely on the issues and sometimes you don't need to have an issue in therapy. Sometimes it's just like just try to become a better version of yourself. Like how much do you actually know yourself? What is the main

thing that gives you anxiety? Why does it give you anxiety? Work through that. Like there's so many things of like what happened in middle school? What were your friendships like? Have they changed? Are you sad? do you like there's so much fucking shit that like I could go through that I think on the days that I feel like I have nothing to talk about I look inward and think what are the things that I think about whenever I get like a tiny bit sad or lonely or if I'm laying in bed and Matt's not here and I'm like thinking about write it down start writing down shit because I just feel like sometimes we can guess get in a routine and the conversations you're having with your therapist become also routine. Maybe they don't ask you questions. Maybe you

always just talk or maybe they ask you questions and you don't really just free flow talk, whatever. Everyone has a different therapist. But maybe you can say to your therapist, Hey, I really want to continue therapy because I do want to work on myself but I'm not going to lie I literally don't know what to talk about do you think maybe you could kind of help prompt like some questions or be honest with me like is there anything you think I should be working on through like sessions you obviously know me well you've been talking to me like what's something I could work on don't let yourself get complacent and it doesn't always need to be a crisis that's happening for you to talk to a

therapist it can be like I'm in a really really happy place and I want to make sure I maintain this like what are things you can be doing yeah sometimes therapy it can get it can feel kind of like this like mundane thing that you're just kind of going therapy it can get it can feel kind of like this like mundane thing that you're just kind of going through the motions we all have a lot of fucked up shit from our childhood i think some of the most interesting stuff that i've recently worked on in therapy is like trying to remember things that aren't core memories in my childhood and it's been pretty fascinating if you start to think about rooms in your house or interactions or birthday parties holidays like things start to come up that you're like oh my god I forgot that how does it make you feel talk

about it because most fucking childhoods like what person is like my childhood was perfect no one I think it's an amazing question because I think a lot of people go through it including myself next I am newly married and so happy with my new husband and our relationship. My question is, is it normal to not want to socialize as much as I did prior to being married? I find it harder to connect and want to go out. We have our own hobbies outside of each other and spend a lot of time doing those hobbies and going out with mutual friends, dinners, drinks, etc. I just want to make sure I'm not losing myself in the relationship marriage and society makes me feel like I need to go out and

have more friends. But to be honest, I'm just not wanting to go out a lot anymore. I also may have a tad bit of social anxiety, so that may play a part, but who knows? Smiley face. Girl, hi. Are you writing as me? When you're going into a different chapter of your life and that being getting married and thinking about starting a family and settling down, it's such a different point in your life than you ever even could have expected. he has so many friends in LA that he grew up with, but there are some people that have full-blown kids now and families, and maybe Matt doesn't see them as much. Hanging out with kind of like people that are on the same page as you becomes more normal. Matt and his friends are still close, but I'm thinking about like the friends of his that that have kids right now we don't have kids and so we can go out on a Friday night and and do whatever and of course you can still do that when you have kids but like I can imagine when you have kids it's like oh we're gonna stay in tonight and hang out with the kids or oh we're gonna go see a movie with our kids

friends parents and all the kids like your life just starts to change there are people in this world that love to go out and love to party and love to club and that will never change even if they're married and they have children. I personally am not one of those people. I think for me, going out and clubbing was extremely motivated by I wanted to find my person and I wanted to find a relationship. And so I was I was putting myself out there and I was going out with the intention of like, I wanted to find a relationship. And so I was I was putting myself out there and I was going out with the intention of like, I hope I find someone if not all good, I'm gonna have fun. But a lot of it was to go out and to to find someone. And I think that's okay to say like I,

I wasn't someone that loved going to clubs. I did a lot when I was younger, but I was never like, I am peaking. I'm in the club. Like, no, it's not as fun as it looks. I'd rather sit home and have a glass of wine with friends and be able to hear them speak and have a bathroom to my left, you know, that someone's not like railing lines of cocaine. I think when you just start to have experiences that fulfill you outside of those environments. They seem very surface level. And I think there's nothing wrong with loving being home and loving being with your partner and also loving having friends over instead of going out. I am a homebody and I think that maybe I could go out a little bit more.

I think it's okay that you don't want to go out as much. And I don't think that you should feel pressured. I think, again, we look on social media, which is just the main form of consumption of like socializing it feels like nowadays. Like people don't leave the house, but somehow you know what everyone was doing because you're on social media. And so you're just looking at people and they're just posting shit that like they're not maybe they're not even at that fucking bar they probably are posting a picture of drinks from six months ago to make their their fucking side piece jealous that they think they're out at the bar and they're really just fucking pimple cream on laying in

their bed like i think you always have to take it with a grain of salt um how many times have you posted while you're out and actually not been having fun listen I get it my single girlies like you got to put in that work and and maybe if you are single and you also don't enjoy the clubs and the bars like maybe you're just starting to go on more dates and you're going to more coffee dates just things that aren't such drinking culture I feel the same way I feel like it's exhausting and I'm never actually genuinely having the most fun ever unless I'm with my girlfriends and we go to dinner but I never want to actually stay out late anyways I want to come back I want to have a couple more glasses of wine or a glass of wine at my house and all of us go to bed I don't know I don't think you

should feel stressed out that you're not partaking in that kind of stuff because you did at one point in your life. And if you didn't, it's probably because you didn't even want to. And that's okay. Don't ever feel like a fucking loser for not going out. I, every time I'm out, want to go home half the time, half the time. A lot of times I am out, I do have fun. If I'm at dinners with people I actually like, and then I am having fun. But once the dinner's over, I'm like, Oh, get me home. I unbutton my pants mid dinner and I'm ready to put on my fucking sweatpants and get in bed and take a fucking edible. Who gives a fuck what anyone else is doing? What makes you happy? I think it's okay to be really content and happy with your husband. I think that's really cute. And of course, don't neglect your friendships, but that is your primary relationship. And you are creating a life with this person and you're at an interesting point in your life where you are thinking about the next step in life. And so, yeah, I wouldn't want to go to the club either. Even if you're not fucking settling down and you're listening to this and you're single and you feel like you can't hang with drinking culture, I'm here to tell you,

it's not all that it's cracked up to be. And don't feel like you have to go to events and be seen and be like, the fuck? No. Find what makes you happy and that's all that fucking matters. Okay, daddy gang, you know the motherfucking drill drill i will see you fuckers this wednesday goodbye