Call Her Daddy - An Abortion Story

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

How are we not advanced enough as a society where women are equal to men? Alex Cooper examines the reality women are facing in the fight to preserve autonomy over their bodies. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of sexual assault and rape and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, confidential 24/7 help is available. Chat online at: https://online.rainn.org Call someone at: 800.656.4673 For additional resources, please visit www.callherdaddy.com/free-nudes

I am currently on my way to a preferred women's health center where women in Charlotte, North Carolina get abortions. It's a Saturday, so the clinic is probably going to be pretty busy. Saturday also is probably when a lot of protesters will be here. If there's one episode of Call Her Daddy that people should watch and listen to, it's this one. 50 years' worth of women's rights in America overturned Roe versus Schmitt

and ended a woman's constitutional right to an abortion. Overturning Roe puts every single one of us in danger. Nothing wrong to deserve the death sentence today. It deserves an end in the trash can. Did you choose life? Did you choose life? There's an ultrasound down there. Just go park there, okay? Go down there to the ultrasound. Keep driving. You're good. Keep driving.

Inside that building, you are not going to find hope. You are not going to find health. You're not going to find joy or peace or any of those things inside that building because none of those things can come from the murder of your innocent child. You don't have to go in there today. Don't settle the path of the wicked that are driving you, that are bringing you into this building, lying to you about the humanity of your child. Leading you like thieves into the...

Hi there, I'm a volunteer with the clinic. I'm walking in. Ma'am, no matter what you're going through today, the baby's heart is beating. That baby is precious in the sight of the Lord. God's word says the sixth commandment. God says, bounce down that murder. I want to start off by having you introduce yourself.

I'm Calla Hales. I'm the executive director of a preferred women's health center. And this is my ninth year being here. So your parents started this clinic. Yes. In what ways has your clinic been impacted by the overturn of Roe v. Wade? This is easily the most desperate I've ever seen patients, which is very frustrating. However, like we do focus on the fact that we are

still helping patients live their best lives. Because like as an outsider just coming in and seeing the protesters immediately, I'm like, holy shit, this is hell. And this is like an easy day. Once you get here and you're driving to the clinic, you're driving past these folks who are calling themselves pregnancy counselors, but they're not with the clinic. And they're specifically trying to stop patients to explain to them why they shouldn't have an abortion or what they can do instead. You're seeing these patients and their companions come in and you start hearing people yelling at you and being like, you're a murderer. You're a slut. Mama, don't kill your baby. They're so loud that you can hear it through the doors and through the walls. And it is traumatizing. One of the worst and most uncomfortable feelings to have is when a patient comes in and, like, is so distraught and so upset.

And, you know, you ask them what's wrong, and they're like, am I going to die? I'm like, honey, why did you come in if you thought you were going to die? And she was like, well, I can't have this baby. But the guy outside tells me that, like, people die here all the time. And I'm like... The fact that you felt like you were submitting yourself to what you thought could be certain death is just so heartbreaking. Well, now that abortion laws can be determined by each state... Conservative America is tightening its grip. So we knew that the United States Supreme Court was going to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Fuck! And I mean this with all disrespect in my heart, you. 26 states will ban abortion. You're talking about 36 million women of reproductive age. I'm a 15-year-old girl. My rights are being threatened. And I came here because I'm hoping to not allow these government officials who think they have control over my body to do what they're doing and take us back 50 years of fighting. The day that the ruling came down, I had to immediately call up my staff and tell them to stop seeing patients. Because in Alabama, we had a law that said that all abortion was illegal and anyone who was involved could be put in jail. I'm Robin Marty. I am operations director for West Alabama Women's Center. And until a few months ago, it provided about half of the abortions in the state of Alabama.

Now it just does reproductive health care. As we sit here today, how many states have made abortion illegal? At this point, we have 14 states where there's no longer legal abortion. Now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, all of the states get to decide individually whether or not there will be legal abortion, and they don't have to have it legal in their state at all. A lot of times people think, okay, that means I have to go to the next state over in order to get an abortion. Where I'm from in the South, in the Gulf Coast, there's no legal abortion anywhere. So is that when people are referring to like an abortion desert?

Yeah, an abortion desert means that you have hundreds of miles that you have to go through in order to be able to access a legal clinic. We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! There have been bills in a number of states to ban common forms of birth control, not abortion, birth control.

I think every woman in America needs to know this. Should women be nervous and worried that birth control and Plan B could potentially become illegal? Oh, God, yes. I'm so terrified of it. Specifically in Alabama, we think the next legislative session, that emergency contraception is going to be banned. And we think this because right after the decision, there was a reporter who went through and asked all of the representatives whether they would consider

banning emergency contraception next. And the worst part was most of them responded, I don't really know what that is, but yeah, that sounds like a good thing to ban. I don't know how it works, but yeah, we should ban it because that's what we're at. I don't know how it works, but yes, let's get rid of it. Your baby's heart started beating in your womb, just below your own heart.

If you can't name five parts of a woman's reproductive system, you don't deserve an opinion on women's reproductive health care. You're not pro-life, you're pro-forced birth. Women are not your incubators. Your religion does not have a place in my doctor's office. I drove up to the clinic while this protest was going on, and I was shaking. It's fucking terrifying. There's so much shame. As I was driving, a man just started screaming,

murderer, murderer, and a woman shoved her face at my car window. And it's like, did you choose life? Did you choose life? Did you choose life? There's an ultrasound down there. Just go park there, okay? The shame that they're trying to inflict on these women, the confusion also of how they make you feel, it's so overwhelming and it's I can't I cannot even imagine waking up in the morning to get an

abortion and to have to fucking deal with this bullshit. It is, it's insane. I am Christy Kelly. My regular job is I'm a corporate accountant. And I have been volunteering in some sphere of reproductive justice for off and on 20-odd years. Your job is an escort and... Defender. Okay. So can you describe what those jobs do? Sure.

So escort's job is to, you know, once the patient's in the parking lot, you get them from their vehicle into the clinic door. And the whole point is just to shield them as much as possible, you know, to maintain their privacy and dignity and to try to shield them from, you know, a lot of the rhetoric and really nasty things. Do the protesters ever provide misinformation to the patients? A better question would be, do they ever not provide misinformation? They try to say things that are not true. Like, if you go in there, you will die. An abortion is not safe. An abortion is incredibly safe. It is safer.

Have you ever had a root canal or gotten your wisdom teeth out? You were in way more danger. It's all scare tactics. Mostly. Yeah. And shame. Yeah. Shame and fear is the easiest thing to learn about, like, the anti-choice stuff and all of that.

It's not about babies. It's never, ever about babies. It's about control. We are having a conference here. Conference. And I'm trying to enlighten these nice folks of their slavery to sin and their need to repent and put their faith in Jesus. I'm free. You're concerned about your soul.

I'm concerned about yours as well. Why do you think my soul is in jeopardy? Because you're supporting the murder of children. How so? You're in rebellion to God because children are being murdered inside of there. What if I don't believe in God? How can I be in rebellion to someone if I don't believe in him? I mean, you can stand on an interstate and say,

I don't believe in Mack trucks, there's one coming at you at 70 miles an hour. So you are equating God with a Mack truck? And you need to bow before me when you address me. Oh, I will never bow before you. Because I identify as royal too. I've always felt royal ever since I was born. Well, of course you felt royal. You're a white man. Do you believe in equality of women and men? I believe in equality of value, yes. I don't believe in equality of function. Like literally men and women have different functions with their bodies and the way their bodies operate.

What is your goal when you show up to this place? My goal is to try to persuade people not to take the innocent lives of their children and offer them alternatives. Do you think it's a man's issue? I do think abortion is a man's issue, yes. If men didn't take advantage of women and have sex with them outside of marriage, then this wouldn't be a thing. Do you think that it would be helpful if men all at a young age got vasectomies and then when they were ready to financially be able to support a child, then they get it reversed?

Are you suggesting that the government institute that as a government program? Well, at this point, we're regulating the uteruses. We could also regulate the penises, right? I mean... If we're forced to have the kids... Do you believe that? I'm just asking you. Do you think that would help?

I don't know. I don't think it would be helpful for society. I'm Shannon. I am the executive director of Charlotte for Choice, which is a nonprofit that helps defend and escort patients coming into the clinic. What do you make of the term pro-life? I don't use it because these folks are pro-life, would be taking care of the children that are born, working with houseless population, helping

others. They don't. They also believe that, you know, help yourself. We'll give you everything you need up to two years of life. That's what the antis tell the patients. We will give you a lavish baby shower for everything you need up to two years of life. There's a little bit more involved. So let's talk about this RV because this is crazy. This is evil and you know, you know in your heart that this is the murder of your child. What is happening in this RV? What is the purpose of the RV? You can have a free ultrasound and see your precious baby. They allegedly have an ultrasound.

They say they have a nurse that gives you ultrasound. They try to get patients to come on the RV. Young women, we have real help for you today. Yeah, perhaps they give ultrasounds, but while they're doing that, they're trying to convince them as to why they need to continue the pregnancy. Please do not do this today. They also use this opportunity to hopefully get the patients to not make their appointment, miss their appointment time. I can't actually remember a time where an ultrasound from that bus was accurate. I've had folks come in and say, well, they said they couldn't see anything, like I was too early to be seen. Or you tell them they're too far along to be seen to begin with.

Like there's real manipulation here that really works to keep a patient from getting services. Keep driving, keep driving, keep driving. We don't take money for what we do. They don't want you to have any other choices but death. But we have many choices. Help for housing, food, a big baby shower for your child that covers close to two years of the baby's life. If you're going to tell someone we have resources for you, be honest about what those resources are. If you take resources from them, they make them sign this really elaborate contract. You have to give them access to going to medical appointments, to posting your image and your potentially future child's image on social media.

They get to use you as a bargaining chip success story. That's pretty gross. That's really, really exploitative. And there's a huge element of white saviorism to it, too, that is extra gross. It does feel very manipulative. Right, because they're going to say, we have resources. We can do this, this, this, this, and this for you. They don't.

We've looked at those pamphlets. They're the number to the local social services. It's how to apply for Medicaid, how to apply for food stamps. How is that helping someone? Inside that building, you are not going to find hope. We hear the religious right say that it's okay to do those kind of lies because it's for a good cause. It's for God. God's word says the sixth commandment.

God says thou shalt not murder. And it just terrifies me because when you feel that every person who is for bodily autonomy is evil. Everything's justified. They believe that they are fighting the spiritual battle and we are the devil. I don't care how many of y'all come out here. I don't care how many times you come out here. People are going to get abortion. Abortion is still legal in North Carolina. We are still free.

You uphold white supremacy. You uphold the legacy of slavery, forced childbirth. How does religion play a part in the fight for women to have access to this type of health care? Give her power now, God. Heaven come down. Well, their religion doesn't like women. When you look at all of the language in the decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, it's all hearkening back to the 15 and 1600s when women were possessions that were traded for cows and used to make alliances, but they weren't people. They didn't have any control over their lives. And that's what they like. They like the idea of women as

possessions. They like the idea of women as something that they can move around and bend around and will do whatever it is that they want. And what better way to do that than to have her exhausted and constantly pregnant? Being able to control your own body gives you independence. And that's not something that they enjoy. That's not something they like. And apparently it's not something that is part of their Christianity. My name is Kristen Smith.

My name is Rana. My name is Nick. I'm a non-binary person. My name is Jack.. My name is Rana. My name is Nick. I'm a non-binary person. My name is Jack. My pronouns are they, them. My name is Victoria Orenfel and I had an abortion. I had an abortion. I had an abortion when I was 20 years old. I found out I was pregnant when I was in my early 20s. And I had an abortion in Texas in 2017. The condom broke. I went and got a plan B. That did not help. And when I found myself in that position, you know, the partner I had at the time, we had a really tumultuous and complicated relationship

that was not healthy. I was unemployed. I was just in a period of a lot of instability. I was living with a bunch of roommates. It was like the worst time to find out I was pregnant. I got pregnant just after my 40th birthday. Like many people who have abortions, I was already a mom at the time. I have three kids and last year in May, I found out that we were pregnant with our fourth. It was unexpected, but we quickly got excited. We found out it was a boy and we named him Case. Everything was perfect up until my 20 week ultrasound. I knew from the moment that I saw the positive pregnancy test

that I did not want to continue the pregnancy. I felt my heart sink to like the bottom of my stomach. And I remember I was just crying, crying because I was afraid. I knew in my soul that I couldn't watch Case be born to struggle to breathe, to go through any type of pain, to just lay there and watch him die. I just I couldn't imagine it. So I scheduled I called the clinic in D.C. and I scheduled an appointment. For me, it was not a hard decision to have an abortion. I was already struggling to balance work and being a parent. I felt like my kids deserved 100% of my attention.

I did have to face protesters on that day and it made it really hard. You know, it honestly was just really humiliating to have to listen to people scream about me and, you know, tell me I'm a bad person for making a medical decision that has nothing to do with them. Having an abortion is probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me. Having that access is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It gave me freedom. It gave me a life. I absolutely would not have been able to carry that to term. There's no way I would have survived that. I would have made sure I didn't survive that. I do think about that pregnancy and think about what my life would have been like if I had added another child to our family at that point and I'm very glad I made

that decision. I felt so relieved that I could finally move on with my life. I could finally heal. I wanted to graduate. I wanted to study abroad. I wanted to do so many things. And because of my abortion, I'm now figuring those things out. And it changed my life for the better. Having the right to an abortion, having my abortion, it saved my life. It allowed me to become a parent when I was good and ready over a full decade later. It meant that I could grow my family on my own terms according to my own timeline with a PhD degree in hand and pursuing a career I care about deeply. It meant that I could live my life in the way that I knew was best for me.

They know who you are. Yeah. You're pregnant. Yes yes like is that almost to them like confusing like oh the woman that's helping give abortions is pregnant now like how do they treat you um some of them it really does radically fuck with their heads last time i was pregnant i gave i gave birth during covid and after i, I had complications, my daughter had complications. And that information got out somehow. And that led to a lot of protesters being like, this is this is punishment, your daughter's gonna die. Like, this is going to be punishment for all those babies you killed. This is your karma. This is your retribution. I used to take it really personally. I don't as much anymore just because of the fact that if you did, if you took it personally, like, it would eat you alive. I feel like that's what they want, though.

They want to eat you alive. They want you to quit. They want you to just make their lives easier. You have been personally attacked because of the work you do. Do you mind sharing what happened to you in Raleigh? So when I was still in Raleigh, I had just gotten out of grad school and moved back down. And like most people who are new to an area, you know, you make friends, you go on dates and things like that. And I unfortunately went on a date with someone who I thought was normal and wasn't.

Turned out to be a protester who knew me and knew my family and knew what I did and had a lot of feelings about it. And in turn took that out on me. And I was attacked and assaulted. I know her tells. She needs to say. Oh, no. She's seen me do this way too many times i i'm sad because i don't think people understand it's very hard it's hard to be an open book it's difficult to live life really publicly and it's it's difficult when you know that there are people that want to cause you harm. And Calla is so unbelievably brave.

And she just keeps coming back and she does it over and over and over again. You good? Mm-hmm. Obviously, you're still working in this field. It's very close to you and your family. But to have something happen to you like that, like, how did you move on? There's a certain level that you don't move on. I will say that it still comes up.

It catches me off guard when it still comes up. But obviously, I was caught off guard in this conversation. Yeah, yeah. Because you lock it, you just lock it down and you keep moving. It's like, that is a thing, it happened. And I have to now see patients who are in that exact situation too. So if I can use that to help them and understand them, one of the things that I do try to be kind of open about is, and like, I keep, like Robin said, like, I keep coming back and I keep being this open book is because quite honestly, people need that and

they need to know that true love of Jesus Christ. These people, they don't know love. They spread hate. They take his name in vain and spread a message of hate and disgust and vile. Scared little man. Terrified little men. They're not pro-life. Women are not free. Women are not free. No one is free. No one is free. We are here because men have decided that they have sovereign power over our bodies, our voices. They're not pro-life.

They're pro-hypocrisy, pro-birth, and pro-control. All they really care about is controlling and suppressing women. We need to let them know that this is our body, that we do what the fuck we want to do with our body. This is not exclusively a health care issue. It has become, it is political. And in order to have autonomy over my own body, I need to get out there and vote.

It's like, why do I have to vote to have control over my own body? How are we not progressed enough as a society where women have equal rights to men? That's a fabulous question. How long is your podcast? I mean, everything's about inequality, but also it's not just about women not being equal to men. It's about white patriarchal men who are terrified of the idea of losing power because when they grew up, they've always been the ones in charge. They've always been the ones likely to be running the board meetings. They're the ones that get called

on the most in class. They've always been in charge. So much of it is about control. And that does take you back to the patriarchy. If you are not assigned male at birth, you have less power in this country. You just do. At some point, we're going to get to a place where people are going to have to challenge laws. And you challenge laws by breaking them. It's something that, quite frankly, I'm doing at this moment by saying it on a camera because I could get charged with conspiracy in my home state of Alabama. But everybody should have access to an abortion. Everybody can get access to an abortion, and they can do that by accessing pills online. Every person can do that regardless of their state by going to aidaccess.org, ordering pills, and having them.

Interesting, the concept of breaking laws. And let's see, because if every single woman in America, if we all join together and we decide, no, we're actually, we do deserve abortion. It's my fucking body. I'm going to do whatever the hell I want. There was this amazing protest where 100 women got together and took medication abortion out in the middle of the public square.

Two of them were actually doing actual pills. The rest of them were taking Tylenol or something. Nobody knew who was who and what was what. No one was arrested. That's the kind of shit we need to be doing. What will happen when the government in Alabama sees this? That's an excellent question, and it's one that I'm ready for. At some point, you have to decide

what you're willing to do in order to make change. I don't think a lot of people understand what's going on, which is essentially a war against women and our bodies. Coming here has opened my eyes, and I feel so grateful because there's never been a greater moment that Daddy Gang can actually affect what's going on in the world. Like we genuinely can make a difference and change and I hope this episode shows like this is us. This we are the women that could potentially also be going through this one day and so if if we don't fight for ourselves, who the fuck is going to?

What would be your rally cry to people in America that are listening to this in their dorm rooms, at home, in their apartments, wherever they are listening? What would you say to them? First off is fight. When you fight, you start building strength. When you start getting up, when you start getting momentum, when you start moving, you're getting ready to battle. And that's, I hate to use that terminology, but that's, that's what's going on. This is a very much a battle. I know it's a broken system and that voting is such a hard thing in this country and so complicated, but it's a broken system we have. And to ignore it just means downfall faster.

The idea of hell has no fury like a woman scorned, you just scorned a whole fucking nation of women and they are coming for you. Like, that is the thing that gets me through every day is the thought of the reckoning. I call it the reckoning in my head because of course I do. And it's going to be amazing and I can't wait to watch it. And your audience is who is going to change everything because they're the ones who are going to be the most impacted by this. They are the first generation who is going to know what it's like to grow up without reproductive rights, that is going to have to face the idea that there are a bunch of men in power that think that they deserve less, that they don't deserve to have control over their bodies, that they don't deserve to have sex just for pleasure.

Like, what good is the world without sex for pleasure? And they're going gonna fight for it.