Call Her Daddy - An Abortion Story (FBF)

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

How are we not advanced enough as a society where women are equal to men? Alex Cooper examines the reality women are facing in the fight to preserve autonomy over their bodies. This episode discusses adult subject matter, including descriptions of sexual assault and rape and is intended for adult consumption only. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, confidential 24/7 help is available. Chat online at: https://online.rainn.org Call someone at: 800.656.4673 For additional resources, please visit www.callherdaddy.com/free-nudes

I'm currently on my way to a preferred women's health center where women in Charlotte, North Carolina get abortions. It's a Saturday, so the clinic is probably going to be pretty busy. Saturday also is probably when a lot of protesters will be here. If there's one episode of Call Her Daddy that people should watch and listen to, it's this one. 50 years worth of women's rights in America over-touched in an instant and ended a woman's constitutional right to an abortion. Overshurning Roe puts every single one of us in danger. You have done nothing wrong to deserve the death sentence today.

He deserves an end in the trash can. Did you choose live? If you needed, did you choose live? There's an ultrasound down there. Just go park there, okay? Go ahead. Go down there to the ultrasound. Keep driving. Inside that building you are not going to find hope. You are not going to the ultrasound. Keep driving. You're good. Keep driving. Inside that building, you are not going to find hope. You are not going to find health.

You're not going to find joy or peace or any of those things inside that building, because none of those things can come from the heart of your innocent soul. You're not alone. You're not alone. You're not alone. You don't have to go in there today. Don't follow the path of the lickid that are driving you, that are bringing you into this building, lying to you about the humanity of your child, leading you like sheep into the fire of your own hell.

Hi there, I'm a volunteer with the clinic. Come off of me. I want to start off by having you introduce yourself. I'm Hala Hills. I'm the executive director of a preferred women's health center. This is my ninth year being here. So your parents started this clinic. Yes. In what ways has your clinic been impacted by the overturn of Roe v. Wade?

This is easily the most desperate I've ever seen patients, which is very frustrating. However, we do focus on the fact that we are still helping patients live their best lives. Because as an outsider just coming in and seeing the protesters immediately, I'm like, holy shit, this is hell. And this is like an easy day. This is the favor of abortion, you know?

Once you get here and you're driving to the clinic, you're driving past these folks who are calling themselves pregnancy counselors. But they're not with the clinic. And they're specifically trying to stop patients to explain to them why they shouldn't have an abortion or what they can do instead. You're seeing these patients and their companions come in and you start hearing people yelling at you and being like, you're a murderer, you're a slut, mama don't kill

your baby. They're so loud that you can hear slut. Mama don't kill your baby. They're so loud that you can hear it through the doors and through the walls. And it is traumatizing. One of the worst and most uncomfortable feelings to have is when a patient comes in and like is so distraught and so upset. And you know, you ask them what's wrong and they're like, am I going to die? I'm like, honey, why did you come in if you thought you were gonna die? And she's like well I can't have this baby but the guy outside tells me that like people die here all the time and I'm like... The fact that you felt like you were submitting yourself to what you thought

could be certain death is just so heartbreaking. Well now that abortion laws can be determined by each state conservative America is tightening its grip. So we knew that the United States Supreme Court was going to overturn Roe v Wade. Fuck! And I mean this with all disrespect in my heart, you. 26 states will ban abortion. You're talking about 36 million women of reproductive age. A 15-year-old girl in my right to be threatened.

And I came here because I'm hoping to not allow these government officials who think they have control over my body to do what they're doing and take us back 50 years of fighting. The day that the ruling came down, I had to immediately call up my staff and tell them to stop seeing patients because in Alabama, we had a law that said that all abortion was illegal and anyone who was involved could be put in jail.

I'm Robin Marty. I am operations director for West Alabama Women's Center. And until a few months ago, it provided about half of the abortions in the state of Alabama. Now it just does reproductive health care. As we sit here today, how many states have made abortion illegal? At this point we have 14 states where there's no longer legal abortion. Now that Roe v. Wade has been overturned, all of the states get to decide individually whether or not there will be legal abortion and they don't have to have it legal in their state at all. A lot of times people think okay that means I have to go to the

next state over in order to get an abortion. Where I'm from in the south in the Gulf Coast, there's no legal abortion anywhere. So is that when people are referring to like an abortion desert? Yeah an abortion desert means that you have hundreds of miles that you have to go through in order to be able to access a legal clinic. We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! We won't go back! There have been bills in a number of states to ban common forms of birth control, not abortion, birth control. I think every woman in America needs to know this. Should women be nervous and worried that birth control and Plan B could potentially become illegal?

Oh, god, yes. I'm so terrified of it. Specifically in Alabama, we think the next legislative session, that emergency contraception is going to be banned. And we think this because right after the decision, there was a reporter who went through and asked all of the representatives

whether they would consider banning emergency contraception next. And the worst part was most of them responded, I don't really know what that is, but yeah, that sounds like a good thing to ban. I don't know how it works, but yeah, we should ban it because that's what we're at. I don't deserve an opinion on women's reproductive healthcare.

You're not pro-life, you're pro-force birth. Women are not your incubators. Your religion does not have a place in my doctor's office. I drove up to the clinic while this protest is going on and I was shaking. It's fucking terrifying. There's so much shame as I was driving. A man just started screaming, murderer, murderer. And a woman shoved her face at my car window and it's like,

did you choose life? Did you choose life? Did you choose life? There's an ultrasound down there, just go park there, okay? The shame that they're trying to inflict on these women, the confusion also of like how they make you feel, it's so overwhelming and it's, I can't. I am Christy Kelly. My regular job is I'm a corporate accountant and I have been volunteering in like some

sphere of reproductive justice for off and on 20 odd years. Your job is escort and? Defender. Okay. So can you describe what those jobs do? Sure. So escort's job is to, you know, once the patient's in the parking lot, you get them from their vehicle into the clinic door. And the whole point is just to shield them as much as possible, you know, to maintain their privacy and dignity and to try to shield them from, you know, a lot of the rhetoric and really nasty

things. Do the protesters ever provide misinformation to the patients? A better question would be, do they ever not provide misinformation? They try to say things that are not true, like if you go in there, you will die, and abortion is not safe, and abortion is incredibly safe. It is safer.

Have you ever had a root canal or gotten your wizened teeth out? You were in way more danger. It's all scare tactics. Mostly, yeah, and shame. Yeah, shame and fear is the easiest thing to learn about like the anti-choice stuff and all of that. It's not about babies.

It's never ever about babies. It's about control. We are having a conference here. And I'm trying to enlighten these nice folks of their slavery to sin and their need to repent for their faith in Jesus. I'm free. You're concerned about your soul?

I'm concerned about yours as well. Why do you think my soul is in jeopardy? Because you're supporting the murder of children. You're in rebellion to God. How am I in rebellion to God? Because children are being murdered inside of there. What if I don't believe in God? How can I be in rebellion to God if I don't believe in God?

You can stand on an interstate and say I don't believe in Mack trucks. There's one coming at you at 70 miles an hour. So you are equating God with a Mack truck? And you need to bow before me when you address me. Oh, I will never bow before you. Because I identify as royal. I've always felt royal ever since I was born. Well, of course you felt royal. You're a white man.

Do you believe in equality of women and men? I believe in equality of value, yes. I don't believe in equality of women and men? I believe in equality of value, yes. I don't believe in equality of function. Like, literally men and women have different functions with their bodies, the way their bodies operate. What is your goal when you show up to this place? My goal is to try to persuade people not to take the innocent lives of their children and offer them alternatives.

Is this a man's issue? I do think abortion is a man's issue, yes. If men didn't take advantage of women and have sex with them outside of marriage, then this wouldn't be a thing. Do you think that it would be helpful if men all at a young age got vasectomies and then when they were ready to financially

be able to support a child, then they'd get it reversed? Are you suggesting that the government institute that as a government program? At this point, we're regulating the uteruses. We could also regulate the penises, right? I mean, if we're forced to have the kids... You believe that? I'm just asking you. Do you think that would help?

I don't know. I don't think it would be helpful for society. I'm Shannon. I am the executive director of Charlotte for Choice, which is a nonprofit that helps defend and escort patients coming to the clinic. What do you make of the term pro-life? I don't use it because these folks are pro-life would be taking care of the children they're born, working with houseless population, helping others. They don't. They also believe that you know help yourself. We'll give you everything you need up to two years of life.

That's what the antis tell the patients. We will give you a lavish baby shower for everything you need up to two years or less. There's a little bit more involved. So let's talk about this RV because this is crazy. This is evil and you know, you know in your heart that this is the murder of your child. What is happening in this RV? What is the purpose of the RV? You can have a free ultrasound

and see your precious baby. They allegedly have an ultrasound. They say they have a nurse that gives you ultrasound. They try to get patients to come on the RV. Young women, we have real help for you today. Yeah, perhaps they give ultrasounds, but while they're doing that, they're trying to convince them as to why they need to continue the pregnancy. Please do not do this today. They also use this opportunity to hopefully get the patients

to not make their appointment, miss their appointment time. I can't actually remember a time where an ultrasound from that bus was accurate. I've had folks come in and say, well, they said they couldn't see anything. Like I was too early to be seen, or you tell them they're too far along to be seen to begin with.

Like there's real manipulation here that really works to keep a patient from getting surfaces. Keep driving, keep driving, keep driving. We don't take money for what we do. They don't want you to have any other choices but death, but we have many choices. Help for housing, food, a big baby shower for your child that covers close to two years of the baby's life. If you're going to tell someone we have resources for you, be honest about what those resources are.

If you take resources from them, they make them sign this really elaborate contract. You have to give them access to going to medical appointments, to posting your image and your potentially future child's image on social media, they get to use you as a bargaining chip. Success story, that's pretty gross. That's really, really exploitative. And there's a huge element of, you know, white saviorism to it too. That is extra gross.

It does feel very manipulative. Right, because they're going to say, we have resources, we can do this, this, this, this, and this for you. They don't. We've looked at those pamphlets. They're the number to the local social services. It's how to apply for Medicaid, how to apply for food stamps. How is that helping someone? We hear the religious rites say that it's okay to do those kind of lies because it's

for a good cause. It's for God. God's word says the sixth commandment God says, thou shall not murder. And it just terrifies me because when you feel that every person who is for bodily autonomy is evil. They don't believe their lies and deception of this world, the wicked people. Everything's justified. They believe that they are fighting the spiritual battle

and we are the devil. We will praise the Lord as a king, bless the wrath of our Lord, and bless us with the fruit of God, the Lord Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, make our spirits. I don't care how many of y'all come out here. I don't care how many of y'all come out here. I don't care how many times you come out here. People are gonna get abortion.

Abortion is still legal in North Carolina. We are still free. You uphold white supremacy. You uphold the legacy of slavery. Force childbirth. How does religion play a part in the fight for women to have access to this type of health care? Well, their religion doesn't like women.

When you look at all of the language in the decision that overturned Roe v. Wade, it's all hearkening back to the 1500s and 1600s when women were possessions that were traded for cows and used to make alliances, but they weren't people. They didn't have any control over their lives. And that's what they liked. They liked the idea of women as possessions. They liked the idea of women as something that they can move around and bend around and will do whatever it is that they want. And what better way to do that than to have her exhausted and constantly pregnant? Being able to control your own body gives you independence. And that's not something that they enjoy. That's not something they like. And apparently it's not something that is part of their Christianity.

My name is Kristen Smith. My name is Rana. My name is Nick. I'm a non-binary person. My name is Jack. My pronouns are they, them. My name is Victoria O'Rafel and I had an abortion. I had an abortion. I had an abortion when I was 20 years old.

I found out I was pregnant when I was in my early 20s. And I had an abortion in Texas in 2017. The condom broke. I went and got a Plan B. That did not help. And when I found myself in that position, the partner I had at the time, we had a really tumultuous and complicated relationship that was not healthy.

I was unemployed. I was just in a period of a lot of instability. I was living with a bunch of roommates. It was like the worst time to find out I was pregnant. I got pregnant just after my 40th birthday. Like many people who have abortions, I was already a mom at the time. I have three kids and last year in May I found out that we were pregnant with our fourth. It was unexpected but we quickly got excited. We found out it was a boy and we named him Case. Everything was perfect up until my 20-week

ultrasound. I knew from the moment that I saw the positive pregnancy test that I did not want to continue the pregnancy. I felt my heart sink to like the bottom of my stomach and I remember I was just crying, crying because I was afraid. I knew in my soul that I couldn't watch Case be born to struggle, to breathe, to go through any type of pain, to just lay there and watch him die. I just, I couldn't imagine it.

So I scheduled, I couldn't imagine it. So I scheduled, I called the clinic in DC and I scheduled an appointment. For me, it was not a hard decision to have an abortion. I was already struggling to balance work and being a parent. I felt like my kids deserved 100% of my attention. I did have to face protesters on that day and it made it really hard. You know, it honestly was just really humiliating to have to listen to people scream about me and, you know, tell me I'm a bad person for making a medical decision that has nothing to do with them. Having an abortion is probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

Having that access is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It gave me freedom. It gave me a life. I absolutely would not have been able to carry that to term. There's no way I would have survived that. I would have made sure I didn't survive that. I do think about that pregnancy and think about what my life would have been like if I had added another child to our family at that point.

And I'm very glad I made that decision. I felt so relieved that I could finally move on with my life. I could finally heal. I wanted to graduate. I wanted to study abroad. I wanted to graduate, I wanted to study abroad. I wanted to do so many things and because of my abortion, I'm now figuring those things out. And it changed my life for the better.

Having the right to an abortion, having my abortion, it saved my life. It allowed me to become a parent when I was good and ready over a full decade later. It meant that I could grow my family on my own terms according to my own timeline with a PhD degree in hand and pursuing a career I care about deeply. It meant that I could live my life in the way that I knew was best for me. that I knew was best for me. They know who you are. Yeah.

You're pregnant. Yes. Like is that almost to them like confusing? Like, oh, the woman that's helping give abortions is pregnant now. Like how do they treat you? Some of them it really does radically fuck with their heads. Last time I was pregnant, I gave birth during COVID

and after I gave birth, I had complications. My daughter had complications. And that information got out somehow. And that led to a lot of protesters being like, this is punishment. Your daughter's going to die. This is going to be punishment for all those babies you killed. This is your karma.

This is your retribution. I used to take it really personally. I don't as much anymore, just because of the fact that... If you did, if you took it personally, it would eat you alive. I feel like that's what they want, though. They want to eat you alive. They want you to quit. They want you to just make their lives easier. You have been personally attacked because of the work you do.

Do you mind sharing what happened to you in Raleigh? So when I was still in Raleigh, I had just gotten out of grad school and moved back down. And like most people who are new to an area, you you know, you make friends, you you go on dates and things like that. And I unfortunately went on a date with someone who I thought was normal and wasn't turned out to be a protester who knew me and knew my family and knew what I did and had a lot of feelings

about it and in turn took that out on me. And I was attacked and assaulted. ["Darlin'"] She needs a sec. Oh, no. She's seen me do this way too many times. I'm sad because I don't think people understand. It's very hard. It's hard to be an open book. It's difficult to live life really publicly. And it's difficult to be an open book. It's difficult to live life really publicly.

And it's difficult when you know that there are people that want to cause you harm. And Calla is so unbelievably brave. And she just keeps coming back and she does it over and over and over again. You good? Mm-hmm. Obviously, you're good. Obviously, you're still working in this field. It's very close to you and your family, but to have something happen to you like that, like how did you move on?

There's a certain level that you don't move on. I will say that it still comes up. It catches me off guard when it still comes up. But obviously, I was caught off guard in this conversation. Yeah, because you lock it, you just lock it down and you keep moving. It's like, that is a thing that happened. And I have to now see patients who are in that exact situation too. So if I can use that to help them and understand them. One of the things that I do try to be kind of open about is,

and like I keep, like Robin said, I keep coming back and I keep being this open book is because quite honestly, people need that and they need to know that they can talk about it. Don't murder an innocent child. And God gave you that baby. You're not gonna be able to escape death. I know the Bible. I know the true love of Jesus Christ. These people, they don't know love. They spread hate. They take his name in vain and spread a message of hate and disgust and vile.

Scared little man. Terrified little man. Women are not free. Women are not free. No one is free. No one is free. We are here because men have decided that they have sovereign power over our bodies, our voices. They're not pro-life. They're pro-hypocrisy, pro-birth, and pro-control. All they really care about is controlling and suppressing women. We need to let them know that this is our body. That we do what the fuck we want to do with our bodies. This is not exclusively a health care issue.

It has become, it is political. And in order to have autonomy over my own body, I need to get out there and vote. It's like, why do I have to vote to have control over my own body? How are we not progressed enough as a society where women have equal rights to men? That's a fabulous question. How long is your podcast?

I mean, everything's about inequality, but also it's not just about women not being equal to men. It's about white patriarchal men who are terrified of the idea of losing power because when they grew up, they've always been the ones in charge. They've always been the ones likely to be running the board meetings. They're the ones that get called on the most in class. They've always been in charge. So much of it is about control,

and that does take you back to the patriarchy. If you are not a signed male at birth, you have less power in this country. You just do. At some point, we're going to get to a place where people are going to have to challenge laws, and you challenge less power in this country. You just do. At some point, we're going to get to a place where people are going to have to challenge laws, and you challenge laws by breaking them. It's something that, quite frankly,

I'm doing at this moment by saying it on a camera because I could get charged with conspiracy in my home state of Alabama, but everybody should have access to an abortion. Everybody can get access to an abortion, and they can do that by accessing pills online. Every person can do that regardless of their state by going to ateaccess.org, ordering pills and having them.

Interesting, the concept of breaking laws. And let's see, because if every single woman in America, if we all join together and we decide, no, we're actually, we do deserve abortion. It's my fucking body. I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want. Exactly.

There was this amazing protest where 100 women got together and took medication abortion out in the middle of the public square. Two of them were actually doing actual pills. The rest of them were taking Tylenol or something. Nobody knew who was who and what was what. No one was arrested. That's the kind of shit we need to be doing.

What will happen when the government in Alabama sees this? That's an excellent question, and it's one that I'm ready for. At some point you have to decide what you're willing to do in order to make change. I don't think a lot of people understand what's going on, which is essentially a war against women and our bodies. Coming here has opened my eyes and I feel so grateful because there's never been a greater moment that daddy gang can actually affect what's going on in the world. Like we genuinely can make a difference and change and I hope this episode shows, like this is us.

We are the women that could potentially also be going through this one day and so if we don't fight for ourselves, who the fuck is going to? What would be your rally cry to people in America that are listening to this in their dorm rooms at home, in their apartments, wherever they are listening, what would you say to them? First off is fight.

When you fight, you start building strength. When you start getting up, when you start getting momentum, when you start moving, you're getting ready to battle. And that's something that is, I hate to use that terminology, but that's what's going on.

This is a very much a battle. I know it's a broken system and that voting is such a hard thing in this country and so complicated, but it's a broken system we have. And to ignore it just means downfall faster. The idea of hell has no fury like a woman scorned, you just scorned a whole fucking nation of women

and they are coming for you. Like that is the thing that gets me through every day, is the thought of the reckoning. I call it the reckoning in my head, because of course I do. And it's going to be amazing, and I can't wait to watch it. And your audience is who is going to change everything,

because they're the ones who are gonna be the most impacted by this. They are the first generation who is going to know what it's like to grow up without reproductive rights, that is going to have to face the idea that there are a bunch of men in power that think that they deserve less, that they don't deserve to have control over their bodies, that they don't deserve to have sex just for pleasure. Like, what good is a world without sex for pleasure? And they're gonna fight for it. ["Sex for Pleasure"]